@@denisemarie7991 When Tom was like "How does your brain work?!" I laughed so hard because I've always wondered when it comes to Bert lol. That's probably why I watch all of these but not the main ymh podcast. I'll take interesting and weird Bert shit over the fucking scat porn that Tom's main shows has become.
I know Tom really cares for Brent, but he knew exactly what he was doing even before the very first episode. If you haven't seen it, watch Ep. 1, you'll get it. Brilliantly devious.
Dont drink 2 bottles of wine everyday and take xanax everytime you fly and you'll probably be good. But also booze is trash, replace it with weed and edibles.
Truly Thanks everyone for the likes. I really need the pick me up. I once gave Tom a joint at the ice house as he walked off stage at the ice house in Feb 2018 and have been a loyal fan ever since of both Bert and Tom. Please air this one!!!!!
I'm genuinely happy Tom found a way to bring up the smell issue in a funny way. I was at his show in Milwaukee last year and damn, I can't imagine sitting across the table from that for an hour every week.
I look forward to these so much. When I see a new episode in my inbox I get so excited. I have a ritual. I won’t watch the podcast all day so I can save it for when I’m off work. I get ready for bed, I pour myself some tea, I’ll take my 10-20 miligrams, I go on my porch, I sit down and watch the video. Thank you guys for these!
My deaf friend actually met Bert right before the pandemic! I asked him how he smelled for real. He started crying instantly and whispered in that tok voice of his, "For the first time in my life...I could hear his stench..." #BertSmellsBad #ASL
Truly Thanks everyone for the likes. I really need the pick me up. I once gave Tom a jay at the ice house as he walked off stage at the ice house in Feb 2018 and have been a loyal fan ever since of both Bert and Tom. Please air this one!!!!!
I feel like that’s close enough to his racist/Nazi jokes that he’d be ok. I have a feeling it was more so inline with pedophile, something he definitely doesn’t want thrown around.
Lmao going through criminology with fellow students during this time is confusing considering Profiling 101 is required and cemented into our heads for the sake of solving the mystery of a crime.
BERT HAS ADHD: The impulse control, the constant subject change, rambling on your own stories instead of asking others about themselves. It all is tied together and makes SO much sense for all the things he says about himself (not a bit I am 100% serious)
I was gonna comment the same thing 😂 * Guys please stop saying I am racist" 5minutes later "🙋Oh I love profiling and I am good at it In fact I want to start a TV show just to see how good I am at it." 🏌️🤹🏋️⛹️💂👮👩🏭👩🚒👩🌾👩🎨👳👩🍳 Hahahaha 🤦
Proud of Bernt being a model citizen, from his progressive and forward thinking ideology to his boycotting of all soap companies to spread awareness for climate change. it’s great to see a true activist at work. Just please stay away from my dog...
Not to get too sad or anything but I'm grateful for you guys. I lost my dad last year and your jokes and humor remind me of him so much. He would've loved you guys. Thanks for the laughs every week.
No man from Florida who bathes in his pool can possibly smell nice.
Waiting for Bert to piss off Nadav enough to get him to leak option 3
I was really hoping they would do a single frame of it still in
I’d make a deposit in his PayPal for the clip!
I have strong belief that the 3rd option is #BERTHATESJEWS...
@@natemaxwell5881 I thought the EXACT same haha
@@natemaxwell5881 I thought blacks because of current events, but that does make more sense coming from Tom's brain.
Man, Bert smells so bad his retriever didn’t want to do a second round.
oh damn lmao
#dirtyberty
Burnt smells like he's been hooking up with Norman Summerton for poutine.
2 pigs 1 poutine
Legend
Yo bro where did you get the YMH badge?
@@xrmighty you get it when you pay for the premium subscription. Details should be in the description of the show
@@xrmighty Just click the "Join" button under the video. Its 4.99 a month but it's worth it.
"I couldn't loot" - the man who got famous from robbing a train
Lm0956 oh shit!
Wooooah! Hahaha!
Hahahahahahaa.... oh and he said he cant understand addicts.... next breath he says he can't even dip once, because then he'll never stop.
@@denisemarie7991 When Tom was like "How does your brain work?!" I laughed so hard because I've always wondered when it comes to Bert lol. That's probably why I watch all of these but not the main ymh podcast. I'll take interesting and weird Bert shit over the fucking scat porn that Tom's main shows has become.
So help me Burnt Crumbler if your hot dumpster mouth comes within 200 yards of the Kansas City ASPCA I will report you for ex parte violation!
Tom is the friend that gets you in trouble in school and laughs when the teacher keeps you for detention.
I know Tom really cares for Brent, but he knew exactly what he was doing even before the very first episode. If you haven't seen it, watch Ep. 1, you'll get it. Brilliantly devious.
@@Revolution1117 ill report back in a bit chief im checking it out
@@Revolution1117 to to ppppppppp phppp p TRX stuff yr to to pp keep him poo pp XXX HBR a ppg
@@Revolution1117 of9
Seems like he might even do something afterwards so they can B.S. in detention together
The way Tom try’s to get Bert to ruin himself every single episode is true entertainment.
...just imagine what they’ve had to cut
one of the best parts of the show
Well he stopped burning crosses once the fire marshall showed up.
The takeaway from this episode is that Brent is gonna be pissed if these protesters don't die from Covid
Bert doesn't need any help, he's an expert at it.
Burnt Crystals is the most wholesome, charitable comedian. He's constantly giving people the shirt off his back, whether they want him to or not!
Wish he'd put that shirt back on, he smells like dogshit
I feel so bad for Bort’s family having to smell him in that tiny house.
Some fans should stop by and check if they're ok
@@Kickasso #bertstinyhouse
Jesus I can smell Bert through the screen. Hopefully he takes an indoor shower some day soon.
Bert is just fancier Randy from Trailer Park Boys
I don't think he has many indoor showers in his future.
He'll probably transition from pool showers to sponge baths at some point though.
When Burt exhales, my screen foggs up
"an indoor shower"
Or, as regular people call it: A shower.
Burnt Crystals thinks Splash Mountain is a “shower”
"Splash Mountain" is Bert's bonus to clients letting them finish inside him. #ThatsWhyBertSmells
Bert: "Witness me #RPC_Sensei "
@@VideoNozoki 174 comments on this channel.
bahahaha
It’s technically more of a shower than he gets.
I was at that Nirvana concert, too. When they played Smells Like Teen Spirit, Kurt Cobain dedicated the song to everyone except Bert Kreischer.
“The last time Bert showered indoors? Alright, It was 1983, in Boulder Colorado dawg...”
-Uncle Joey Diaz
Bouldah*
Thats a lie, no one showered in Boulder in the 80s :P
Anyone else read this in Joey’s voice?
And it was TREMENDOUS!
Fucking great comment 😂
3:42 for intro, 4:18 for episode.
34:27 for first ad break, 58:18 for second.
You're a saint
Thanks
God bless
Bert says he doesn't know if he could loot but he literally robbed a whole train and his classmates in Russia.
Bert smells so bad everyone in his audience wears facemasks....😂
@ what you can't over spray is deodorant around old Bert.
Nice
Bert: "I wonder if I could express my thoughts to someone who is deaf"
Also Bert: 1BEARREDMANCAVE2CAST
I swear I get dumber every time I hear him speak...yet here I am again lol
I couldn't stop hearing Bart clear his throat, its every 3 minutes.
Nice sweater 🐱
@@jaycastaneda193 harsh bro
Bert went from “i spent the weekend parenting my kids” to “I partied hard this weekend” in about five minutes. 🥰
They can't stand being near him because of the smell, it's his defense to them calling him on shit.
Bert refuses to watch Fight Club because the cover has soap
@Omne Obstat this deserves more. Its a great tag
We all know the Burnt being a racist is a joke, his transition from a woman definitely isn't a joke
I have to say his estrogen therapy seems to be working, his pitch is hitting scary high levels.
I pick this one!
His racism actually masked his extreme sexual attraction to black men
He was racist because no black men would give him the BBC he craves so much.
Trans rights
Michael “Lance Jordan” Armstrong
"Raise em right, I gotta go" Tom's quote of the show 😆😆😆 hilarious
Berts B.O. honestly wasn't too bad when I saw him last year. Barely noticeable. Maybe I just couldn't smell it over the smell of his breath.
I try to find him funny, but I just don't.
@@unclealbert3118 Just stop watching this you dolt
Bert just HAD to say “I love profiling people” 😂😂😂😂 Tom had to hold his tongue so hard
Saw Bart in person once, definitely smelled him first though
Bart😂
Like a dollar store in Polk City Florida
Fart Bert.
I swear bert makes me scared to drink when he slurs his speech and questions if every memory is real or not...
Benzo abuse does this too.
@@JR-rz1br both use the same receptors
Dont drink 2 bottles of wine everyday and take xanax everytime you fly and you'll probably be good. But also booze is trash, replace it with weed and edibles.
When are you guys gonna snort some rails? Im trying to be patient
2 bears 1 cave onlyfans
Dude seriously
@Derp Derp 😂
Bro if u don't enjoy life
I think you’re gonna be waiting forever bruh
I find it unsettling when Tom talks for a while without Bert interrupting him.
I find so hilarious that when Bert does interrupt him, Tom looks at the camera or shakes his head.
I find it unsettling when they go more than 5 minutes without a commercial.
Shhhh, it means Bert's learning something. ;)
OH OH OH OH OH OH!!! LIKE THAT ONe time do you remember also, wait a minute let me think, hey tom do you like strawberries?
bert came up with 2 alternative scenarios, pitched 2 shows, and told his own story while tom was telling the “Dr. Dre’s house” story
When the tear gas fails, riot control protocol is to send Bert in shirtless and the crowd disperses every time.
#BertSmellsBad
Bring in the MACHINE!!
Orcs beat drums as the frontline makes way for Bert being pulled on a special platform by two Trolls.
Truly Thanks everyone for the likes. I really need the pick me up. I once gave Tom a joint at the ice house as he walked off stage at the ice house in Feb 2018 and have been a loyal fan ever since of both Bert and Tom. Please air this one!!!!!
@@ETAisNOW-wn8wx
Lol someone please photo shop bert into lord of the rings and pics of protests with people running in disgust. So many ideas...
Tear gas always works if you aim it at peoples heads the way these morons have been
Wow 268 at this moment. Smiles for days, thanks everyone!!
Burnt Chrysler has changed my LIFE!!!!
Thank you Brent!!!!!!
Just when you think Brunt has hit his highest octave, he goes up another one.
I know Bert is all about 88s...
Brunt?
Brunt greaser
My dogs head exploded after that dolphin call
Especially when he’s laughing
I like how bert drinks multiple alcoholic beverages and calls it partying
Did you get to see it without the jump cut?
Sounds like Partying to me
It’s we he doesn’t show us that racist is blowing coke all night
Are you from Wisconsin as well hehe
Thats the definition of every party ive been to since after GED class
1:04:35 Bert essentially describing the British TV show from the 90’s - Through the Keyhole 😂😂😂
Bert calling it "ALS" rather than "ASL", like Lou Gehrig had his own language.
Bart got that Lou Gehrig gene.
american lign sanguage
"I took twitter offer my phone a while ago ... by the way I still use it". A perfect allegory for Bert's drinking
I'm genuinely happy Tom found a way to bring up the smell issue in a funny way. I was at his show in Milwaukee last year and damn, I can't imagine sitting across the table from that for an hour every week.
I look forward to these so much. When I see a new episode in my inbox I get so excited. I have a ritual. I won’t watch the podcast all day so I can save it for when I’m off work. I get ready for bed, I pour myself some tea, I’ll take my 10-20 miligrams, I go on my porch, I sit down and watch the video. Thank you guys for these!
Same, usually have it up in the morning on my laptop while making breakfast and drinking coffee. Perfect way to start a day!
This comment is surprisingly creepy and detailed
"The fattest, smelliest comedian in the world" I can get behind that.
Also, he really really loves his dog.
Who's also still very racist
DM R you didn’t follow Proto brother you’re getting the stamp
You'd have to make a 33 mile train trip to be able to "get behind" someone that fat.
If he stinks so bad, why you want to be behind him?
36:14 "I was just seeing how much people cost" .... "BUT HE'S SMELLY NOW GUYS" lol
The "Bert is a racist" thing is obviously a joke.
The "Bert needs to stop making every podcast about himself" thing, isn't a joke.
Better than just the boomer talk that tom spews
Vincent Q wrong
His podcast with Bill is a lot better
@@hotelmotel83 then just leave watch ymh?
While imhere. Because Bill can drive a conversation better than Tom.
My deaf friend actually met Bert right before the pandemic! I asked him how he smelled for real. He started crying instantly and whispered in that tok voice of his, "For the first time in my life...I could hear his stench..."
#BertSmellsBad
#ASL
Truly Thanks everyone for the likes. I really need the pick me up. I once gave Tom a jay at the ice house as he walked off stage at the ice house in Feb 2018 and have been a loyal fan ever since of both Bert and Tom. Please air this one!!!!!
The way Tom gives Bert A false hope when he is trying to do sign language “yea you killed that”
This show should be called "Bert smells bad and talks about himself the entire show"
2bears1talkingracist*
Toms perfect serial killer laugh at 22:00
Something tells me that the third one was “Bert is anti-semitic”
I feel like that’s close enough to his racist/Nazi jokes that he’d be ok. I have a feeling it was more so inline with pedophile, something he definitely doesn’t want thrown around.
You fucking nailed it. The way Tom reacts tells me Bert probably named a few friends and managers that wouldn’t fuck with it lmao
Goes without saying.....
He said harsher, it was at least "Bert hates jews."
My guess for third one was that Bert is a baby raper lol
Mondays are my favorite day for podcasts. The church of what's happening now, bad friends and now 2 bears one cave.... ahhh life is good 🤙🏾
Bert sounds like Donnie from The Wild Thornberrys at 1:10:31 😂😂😂
I fuckin lost it, had the same image in my head.
I love tom and bert, this podcast has really helped me through some hard times
This is literally my favourite podcast. I love the two of you.
Be careful cosmo. Brett might try and cuddle you
@@bluebruising I'd let him. I like cuddles.
"I love profiling people" -Bert, oblivious to how that sounds
Tom was snickering hard.
Lmao going through criminology with fellow students during this time is confusing considering Profiling 101 is required and cemented into our heads for the sake of solving the mystery of a crime.
Lauren Cole next semester in psychology thats one of my modules🤣 i’m not looking forward to that aspect of it...
He isn't oblivious
1:10:31 "IWANAWEVDONEVENTABUYTHEIRHOS DOSEEVENENEDTOBU-" - the smelliest comedian
"Hey Burt stop cleaning that boat for a second and come over here what do you think about these protests"- Just spit my drink all over my keyboard
Saw him last year. Let me tell ya, he didn't smell great. Kind of like a birdshit pesto. #Bertsmellsbad
"Birdshit pesto"!!!!! BROOOOO!!!!! My pants just got so high and tight I'm choking!
Bro.... Bertshit Pesto!
I heard that Bart's B.O. is why Tom's hair fell out, fun fact
Hey Tom, Just had my 1 year anniversary for being "free" from Lymphoma. Thanks for doing that. Keep featherin' it tough
Congrats Mommy! Way to follow proto, hope you stay healthy!
👖 just glassin’ in good health 👖 good luck & keep following proto
Fuckin A. Feather away!
why is the audio mastering always so friggin quiet?? Keep that volume high and tight!
This should be the top comment. I have airpods in and this was a thought I had while tuning in.
Yeah, I noticed that too on this episode. I blame Bert and his smelliness.
Tom starts Whispering never once in awhile. it doesn't even make sense
Yea they suck at audio. I have to crank it up then one of them will pound the table and blow my fucking car windows out.
I agree. Mentioning Nadav, Josh, and Enny in case any of them search for their names.
Tom is just a dad watching his ADHD kid Bert,
the patience you have Tom bless your heart.
That jump cut and their faces after had me dying
#bertcutslive
Tom’s death stare at Nadav when Bert asks to look up his first JRE appearance. Nadav do bad?
1:10:30 Nadov HAS to clip that audio lmao
BERT HAS ADHD: The impulse control, the constant subject change, rambling on your own stories instead of asking others about themselves. It all is tied together and makes SO much sense for all the things he says about himself (not a bit I am 100% serious)
And on this episode it was WILD.
@@CRAG710 damn right it was, for a minute there, I thought Bert tried that bump of blow but forgot to record it
Bert smells like 2020 feels
That makes it easier to take
I imagine Bert on the same level of gun discipline as Homer Simpson.
I don't know why, but Bert smells like a stray dog.
Bert's reality show idea should be called: 2 Bears, Your Cave
2 Bears, Who’s Cave
It's called through the keyhole
2 Bears in Your Cave
I would love to watch their celebrity house guessing game.
Name idea- 2 bears, whose cave?
Burt: I'm not racist
Also Burt: I LOVE PROFILING PEOPLE!
I was gonna comment the same thing 😂
* Guys please stop saying I am racist"
5minutes later
"🙋Oh I love profiling and I am good at it
In fact I want to start a TV show just to see how good I am at it."
🏌️🤹🏋️⛹️💂👮👩🏭👩🚒👩🌾👩🎨👳👩🍳
Hahahaha 🤦
Proud of Bernt being a model citizen, from his progressive and forward thinking ideology to his boycotting of all soap companies to spread awareness for climate change. it’s great to see a true activist at work. Just please stay away from my dog...
Not to get too sad or anything but I'm grateful for you guys. I lost my dad last year and your jokes and humor remind me of him so much. He would've loved you guys. Thanks for the laughs every week.
I’m so happy now that Bert just needs a shower instead of him marching Jews into them. #BertSmellsBad
Yoooooooooo😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Yooooooooooo🤣😂🤣😂
Yooooooooo fucking Roasted
Yooooooooooooooooooooooooo
BOOM
ROASTED
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I love profiling people!!" - Bert (who has no clue why Tom's laughing.)
oh god i'm fucking crying
This conversation takes the sharpest left turns. Jesus, I have whiplash. How does his mind freaking work?
hey. I'm deaf and saw "it's chair amazement time to sleep running with applause"
Close enough
Time stamp?
@@booognish lol
Never knew Blink Christian is a huge arsonist and poutine enthusiast.
I like the idea of Bert eating shit and setting small fires, lets keep that as backup in case his loving BBC during transition doesn't work.
He got his start with burning crosses.
AND SMELLS LIKE CACA
I had no clue Barn CreamCorn was such a vicious sodomite.
1:00:58 - inmate finds out he's getting the death penalty, gets sent to the electric chair, dies and is surprised he made it to heaven
Every week one is fatter than the other. I can't keep up anymore.
Bert's looking slim this week
Just remember, Brent is the fatter more racist one.
I was just thinking they both looks skinnier this episode.
Yah it's a really weird continuity error
“I couldn’t loot”
The Russian train?
Pathological liars stumble over themselves all the time.
The Russian train wasn't a looting- it was a robbery
Exactly
@@mawtymawty9010 robbery is worse
Such a good point oh my god
The idea of looters trying on clothes asking each other if they look good was so fucking funny. Genius.
Anyone else ever notice Bert always says “nightmear” instead of nightmare
Its really noticeable since hes usually so eloquent
Just add it to the list of things Burnt Crysler does wrong, weird or irresponsible =)
Hes not a smart man
Or William Montgomery
Flippin over hyundai sonatas with my aunt while on pcp, boy what a nightmare
I'm always going to wonder what was cut this episode. #BertSmellsBad
#Berthatesjews is my guess
#BertsaPaedo
#BertSmellsRacist
#bertscumhole
@@rafatcandido lmao what 😅😅
Tom Segura is the most kind-hearted psychopath on planet Earth. Love you, Tommy Bunz
Bert "I've been to a march before" Kreischer
"Everyone holding tiki torches, and EVERYONE on the same page.... it's really moving."
Goosestep marches probably
BERTS IDEA IS ALREADY A UK SHOW CALLED "THROUGH THE KEYHOLE"
YEP
“let’s see whooos howce it izzzzz” said in aloud Loyd Grossman voice 🤣
come on dude it's only been on the air since 1983, give him some slack..
Andrew Tregoning hahaha yeah I could see him hosting a US version
@@MTKSAdventures he would be amazing at it fr
The 2 most lovable men in comedy. Happy to be here listening to you guys in this trying time. Stay high and tight.
So kind of Brent Krusler to pay the college tuiton for a whole class of African-Americans
me trying to figure out if this is an office reference or not 👁👄👁
@@jackmealor8455 Bert's Terts
I know, I honestly didn't know he had that kind of money
@@jackmealor8455 Hey Mr. Krusler watchu gon' do? Make our dreams come true!
since when does chlorine and Tito’s smell bad?
I don’t wanna live in a world without Bert. Please out live me.
Real talk, there's no way he smells good
Bert's the kind of guy to smell of old spice, body odor, and expired salsa.
Like how do you not just take a shower that's so rancid. A dip in the pool does not clean you.
Bert smells so bad that I'd rather get a whiff of tear gas
But he shares something in common with the Narrator-- he has a bunch of false memories
Yeah forgets how racist he is
35:01 Bert is literally the only person on earth who can interrupt himself
Bert is gonna start saying "I'm ugly and I'm proud" so people could ignore his smell
You mean gay
Berts "house profiling" idea was already a TV show in the UK called "Through the Keyhole"
I love that they're trying to get out of the "Bert is the biggest racist" joke and minutes later Bert is says "I love to profile people!" Lol
"2nd amendment... that's the one about guns right?" 😂😂😂
Where the coke at?
Mo Powah Babeh
Burt’s throat
I laughed so hard I cried at that jumpcut. Fantastic!
“i was just looking to see how much people cost”
you’re not helping your case there burnt
"I LOVE PROFILING PEOPLE."
.....oooooh jeez.
The idea at 1:04:45 is a show called "Through the Keyhole" in the UK
Was looking to see if any other brits were also watching 😂. Knew this would attract a comment!
Jesus christ like 80% of the comments are trashing bert lol.
As it should be
Just following proto
Welcome to the show. LOL
Those are rookie numbers, we gotta pump those numbers up
Honestly, I kinda feel bad for him. The retards currently going apeshit about "social justice" have really scared him shitless.
Tom making a solid case for the personality champ with this new charity call