What a time to see this vid. I'm currently struggling from a breakup with someone I really loved, I felt like I could never have someone as good as her anymore. I've been feeling like I couldn't ever live happily with such wound. Up to the point, I feel like death is the only solution for me to be at peace with such loss. Now I see it's a form of resistance. Me wanting to die instead of dealing with a life without her as my partner is a form of not wanting to accept reality. And I've been so aimless after that breakup, I didn't know what can make me truly happy anymore. Now I know I value my art hobby. I value a sense of growth and connection I get from the art community. I feel happy when people are happy and touched by my artwork. Also, I value creating a healthy, loving and committed relationship. Maybe not with her, but I will find someone who's willing to grow old & grow better with me. Someone who work on things together instead of giving up. Someone who chose to stay instead of leaving.
Ana, your videos are always great but this one was really helpful to me. You are doing such a service by bringing things like this to light to free for people who wouldn't normally have access to it. I studied psychology very briefly before persuing other interests but remain in touch with the subject by watching your videos (and reading an occasional book). Videos like this are infinitely more helpful than those of the "toxic positivity" genre you often reference. You're one of the most intelligent people I've come across on here, please never stop doing what you do :)
4:40 is key about breakups. If you stay in a bad/toxic relationship that bond multiplies in more suffering and harder to break. It's better to pull the bandaid off, leave the bond and move on. Time controls a bond, time is of the essence. It takes wisdom and rationality. And patience afterwards which I think people don't have always seeking the now.
this is such a fantastic explanation. I think a lot of people hear the word “acceptance” in ACT and reject the approach because they think it means wallowing in suffering. but the whole practice is more about connecting with ourselves outside of our transient emotions and thoughts, which brings us peace :)
If you connect with this perspective you might as well look into Buddhism! At 7 minutes in I’m sensing lots of parallels between ACT and the 4 Noble Truths
I just received my copy of "a liberated mind" by Steven C Hayes, his work has been life changing for me and my panic attacks. Russ Harris is also a fantastic author in this field. ACT is such a fantastic approach to cognitive therapy. Super interested what your views are, just started watching!
Omg I'm so excited to see you covering this! It's one of the most effective therapies for chronic illness/chronic pain conditions which are notoriously hard to treat effectively (from a psychological standpoint). It's also feels like you have more overt agency or interaction with this type of therapy since you can deploy it outside of the clinic on your own once you're more familiar with it.
I have to check this out! I also suffer from chronic pain and most therapists have no idea how to deal with me, I hope this will alleviate some suffering
Hit me hard when you talked about resistance multiplying the pain. After 17 months, I stiil have hope for her coming back and it's been way too many sleepless, tear soaked nights since. Thanks Ana.
Could you make a video about how to find your true personality? lately it is such a struggle for me to tell who i am its driving me crazy! I love watching your videos
This video clearly compounded with the topic that I am reading at the moment called “ME for ME vs ME for OTHERS, and ME for ME + ME for OTHERS”. The topic really added a lot of valuable information to my current ideas and theories about myself especially the reframing and psychological flexibility. I summed it up as something that I am capable of reframing the negatives into positives rather than just completely surrendering to the idea that all of it are negative. I also think that immersing yourself in growth, engaging in different conversations, and meeting new people can also be very beneficial in everyone.
The example with Evan was incredibly helpful and worded in such a great way. Great for self awareness of how resistance to reality can control us and in particular highlighting this "observer" concept of noticing emotions you are experiencing and realizing you are separate from the thoughts and feelings you have. They are temporary. Such lovely content here. This is one of my favs, I wonder if you have read the book "the power of now" by Echart Tolle. While listening to the Evan example, this book kept popping into my head
Hey, Ana) I have been watching your videos for several months now and have only recently started seeing a therapist. and here is a coincidence - the psychotherapist began to treat me with the help of the ACT and you are releasing a video about this! I have been immersing myself in this topic for several weeks now, trying therapy on myself, it is difficult to understand the first time. so thank you for another explanation. you explain everything very well. I think this is a very effective technique, I think it really helps me😊
You can't imagine how helpful your channel is to me and to many others. It is saving many people without resources to access amazing psychological knowledge to put to practice by ourselves. Thank you so so much!!
This video has helped me so much, I share it with everyone I can. If you’re able to make more content about ACT that would be so helpful. Thank you for putting in the work to make these videos.
hey ana, big fan of the channel and this video was f-ing great. ive seen it a couple times now based on just how applicable it was to me and im really interested in this psychological flexibility part! if there was a book you could recommend or books on how to be more mindful and how to assess your true values that would really be great i feel. anyways the videos are super thought provoking and j hope you keep it up, cheers.
Heyy Andrew, I also loved how applicable this video was for me. I would totally recommend the book "The power of now" by eckhart Tolle. It helps with mindfulness and understanding your essence ❤
I have very strong values I identify with, to the extent I believe they are what make me who I am. But I’ve always had trouble executing and implementing those values, mostly out of fear and resistance. Thank you so much for sharing this information, it has been invaluable to me in order to move on with my life, I have been stuck for a very long time.
In relation to the “expectations” part of fear, it would be really interesting to hear you explore expectations / expectation setting. It feels like there is a balance as we would want to push ourselves to succeed, but also not set them in such a way which produces too much anxiety?
Hey Ana! I love your channel I always watch your videos thank your for sharing with us your knowledge! I'm curious about knowing how to deal with anger, I suggest it like a theme for a future video. Not many people talk about it and I think it's important to approach. Thank you ana
The ideology beyond ACT tends to trigger me. I don't like when people imply to me I just need to accept my suffering, and communicate to me I should approach my life problems in a different way. Idm being challenged, but i dont like being devalidated. Sometimes suffering is truly contingent on a person's circumstances, and I accept that. Maybe other people should also just accept that and feel the discomfort that they can't alleviate my pain
This is my problem with analogies, mountains do get shaped by weather conditions xD And so do we by our thoughts. And that is my problem. But I get the point
what are your thoughts on the fusion concept in the context of adhd ?? and with ACT, should someone be trying to accept that they have a different brain from the one that functions best in our society? or should they try to de fuse themselves from those symptoms? i think with adhd, trying to de fuse would just be resistance, because thoughts/feelings and legitimate symptoms are different, right? i’m pretty sure i’m right, but i wanted to ask in case i end up developing an unhealthy way of thinking about my situation and experience with adhd LOL
Hey! I took psychology courses in college and I was wondering if you ever experience this too: I find that sometimes I inhibit myself from simply feeling my emotions because when I notice them, I immediately try to implement a psychology skill to help myself. But sometimes I just distract myself with psychology and pathologize and look for solutions instead of just sitting in my feeling and realizing that having all the tools doesn't mean I will be happy 100% of the time
So it's just coming to terms with bad things happening and feelings occuring as they do and expressing grief or sadness in a healthy way without letting it totally consume you so you never heal or feel better? Sounds cool
Ana, in another video you mentioned that trauma is abnormal (the context was that there’s no abnormal reaction to something abnormal, trauma). But in this video you’re saying that suffering is normal. Can you explain the contradiction please?
Suffering is an intrinsic part of the human condition and being alive. Trauma, is differentiated from the day-to-day suffering that is part of living by the specific and particular severity and affects which a traumatic experience or traumatic event causes upon an individual's psyche. It's an abnormal rupture in the continuity of the 'normal' baseline psychological sense of self.
I don't know if I am missing something, maybe it was the example suffering situation being that Evan didn't have a girlfriend, not something like Even has a genetic disorder with no known cure. I struggle with the fact that, personally, it feels like very little of my suffering is actually in my control. And if the goal is to feel better somehow and I, for whatever reason, do not feel better, it's as if I just need to keep trying because I am failing to reach that goal. Is there a therapy modality for just the acceptance piece? And not trying to control the outcome or the feelings involved by changing behaviors? Disappointed this is just CBT 3.0. I was hoping to learn a new strategy.
Hah this was a very bull`s eye video for me... It nailed me. So... In before I stray of what I want to type with compliments of your lip gloss~ During this video there is the question of "How do you introduce yourself to others in terms of what you are or identify with" and so ~The video in itself literally showed me the way :P I am neither my age, nor a teacher... or a brother... I am... Evan :P Hi, my name is Evan :P (But it`s not actually really Evan, but if you've seen the video you know what I mean...) Well I might be 13~14 year older Evan than, Evan but still... Time actually really does not exist at all in the physical world, it`s only change, and biological change on DNA level is when it copy/paste itself with errors due to environmental influences. Could also be adapting to the very last breath, but it mostly actually really is those prissy atoms in the DNA strain that arranged themselves differently than the strain they separated from to duplicate (but didn`t) and so than they expand into a slightly different cell when it forms up around it with them (The DNA spiral) in it`s core... that then in it`s own term performs it`s functions slightly different (sometimes better, adapt, sometimes worse, age) and ultimately we get in a wooden box 2 meters within the ground, the end. :P Also Ana check the 2 months ago, from September interview on that one TH-cam Channel of Alexis Ren and do a psychological analysis of it. Also also, for the rest of the non living material world "time" is consistent atomic decay and cooling down... Yes sometimes new atoms are formed by reforming already existing ones or just monstrous energy collusions, but the overall tendency is for breaking down to smaller and smaller particles while losing temperature (energy) to reform into larger ones up until it reaches total stand still... or the inevitable thermal death of the universe. Also the auto spell check is underlining me all of this in red... So I'd go ahead and assume it`s all wrong in it`s entirety, but I am posting it as part of what I wrote ~anyway. Bye.
What a time to see this vid. I'm currently struggling from a breakup with someone I really loved, I felt like I could never have someone as good as her anymore. I've been feeling like I couldn't ever live happily with such wound. Up to the point, I feel like death is the only solution for me to be at peace with such loss. Now I see it's a form of resistance. Me wanting to die instead of dealing with a life without her as my partner is a form of not wanting to accept reality. And I've been so aimless after that breakup, I didn't know what can make me truly happy anymore. Now I know I value my art hobby. I value a sense of growth and connection I get from the art community. I feel happy when people are happy and touched by my artwork. Also, I value creating a healthy, loving and committed relationship. Maybe not with her, but I will find someone who's willing to grow old & grow better with me. Someone who work on things together instead of giving up. Someone who chose to stay instead of leaving.
I just wanna stop being bothering 😿 some people are so INSUPORTÁVEIS
Thanks for sharing! Please hang in there. It will hurt for a long while, but you will be happy again
Ana, your videos are always great but this one was really helpful to me. You are doing such a service by bringing things like this to light to free for people who wouldn't normally have access to it. I studied psychology very briefly before persuing other interests but remain in touch with the subject by watching your videos (and reading an occasional book). Videos like this are infinitely more helpful than those of the "toxic positivity" genre you often reference. You're one of the most intelligent people I've come across on here, please never stop doing what you do :)
Aw, thank you so much! I'm so glad it's helpful for you.
4:40 is key about breakups. If you stay in a bad/toxic relationship that bond multiplies in more suffering and harder to break. It's better to pull the bandaid off, leave the bond and move on. Time controls a bond, time is of the essence. It takes wisdom and rationality. And patience afterwards which I think people don't have always seeking the now.
ACT has helped me soooo much as someone who really struggles with self-acceptance and validation -- glad you are sharing newer modalities!
this is such a fantastic explanation. I think a lot of people hear the word “acceptance” in ACT and reject the approach because they think it means wallowing in suffering. but the whole practice is more about connecting with ourselves outside of our transient emotions and thoughts, which brings us peace :)
If you connect with this perspective you might as well look into Buddhism! At 7 minutes in I’m sensing lots of parallels between ACT and the 4 Noble Truths
Absolutely! ACT and DBT draw from a lot of Buddhist and Taoist concepts
My thoughts exactly. Especially with the "you are pure consciousness" part
Isn't mindfulness related too?
I just received my copy of "a liberated mind" by Steven C Hayes, his work has been life changing for me and my panic attacks. Russ Harris is also a fantastic author in this field. ACT is such a fantastic approach to cognitive therapy. Super interested what your views are, just started watching!
I’m definitely checking this book out
Omg I'm so excited to see you covering this! It's one of the most effective therapies for chronic illness/chronic pain conditions which are notoriously hard to treat effectively (from a psychological standpoint). It's also feels like you have more overt agency or interaction with this type of therapy since you can deploy it outside of the clinic on your own once you're more familiar with it.
I have to check this out! I also suffer from chronic pain and most therapists have no idea how to deal with me, I hope this will alleviate some suffering
Hit me hard when you talked about resistance multiplying the pain. After 17 months, I stiil have hope for her coming back and it's been way too many sleepless, tear soaked nights since. Thanks Ana.
ana u absolute legend
Could you make a video about how to find your true personality? lately it is such a struggle for me to tell who i am its driving me crazy! I love watching your videos
What do you like?
This video clearly compounded with the topic that I am reading at the moment called “ME for ME vs ME for OTHERS, and ME for ME + ME for OTHERS”. The topic really added a lot of valuable information to my current ideas and theories about myself especially the reframing and psychological flexibility. I summed it up as something that I am capable of reframing the negatives into positives rather than just completely surrendering to the idea that all of it are negative. I also think that immersing yourself in growth, engaging in different conversations, and meeting new people can also be very beneficial in everyone.
Is that a book you're reading?
Finally. I video just for me
Thank you for this… I really needed to hear this and will probably return to this video daily
I'm doing the same, maybe at least once a week
The example with Evan was incredibly helpful and worded in such a great way. Great for self awareness of how resistance to reality can control us and in particular highlighting this "observer" concept of noticing emotions you are experiencing and realizing you are separate from the thoughts and feelings you have. They are temporary. Such lovely content here.
This is one of my favs, I wonder if you have read the book "the power of now" by Echart Tolle. While listening to the Evan example, this book kept popping into my head
Perfect video for many men. I went through this sort of growth and am still progressing
Hey, Ana) I have been watching your videos for several months now and have only recently started seeing a therapist. and here is a coincidence - the psychotherapist began to treat me with the help of the ACT and you are releasing a video about this! I have been immersing myself in this topic for several weeks now, trying therapy on myself, it is difficult to understand the first time. so thank you for another explanation. you explain everything very well. I think this is a very effective technique, I think it really helps me😊
You can't imagine how helpful your channel is to me and to many others. It is saving many people without resources to access amazing psychological knowledge to put to practice by ourselves. Thank you so so much!!
Very wonderfully said. So healing; it always seems to come back to the Self, and your relationship with yourself. Atleast for me lol
This video has helped me so much, I share it with everyone I can. If you’re able to make more content about ACT that would be so helpful. Thank you for putting in the work to make these videos.
An interesting approach... thanks
hey ana, big fan of the channel and this video was f-ing great. ive seen it a couple times now based on just how applicable it was to me and im really interested in this psychological flexibility part! if there was a book you could recommend or books on how to be more mindful and how to assess your true values that would really be great i feel. anyways the videos are super thought provoking and j hope you keep it up, cheers.
Heyy Andrew, I also loved how applicable this video was for me. I would totally recommend the book "The power of now" by eckhart Tolle. It helps with mindfulness and understanding your essence ❤
I have very strong values I identify with, to the extent I believe they are what make me who I am. But I’ve always had trouble executing and implementing those values, mostly out of fear and resistance. Thank you so much for sharing this information, it has been invaluable to me in order to move on with my life, I have been stuck for a very long time.
The ACT therapy model legit changed my life, its the approach that i have had the most success with in my recovery
You have matured alot over the last few years and it shows in your content..keep it up!
Thank you for all the work that you do, I love watching you videos!
What a gem of a video, as if specifically made for me, right on the day i need it. Thank you
Thank you very much, you are so much mature than your age ..
Thanks 🙏
In relation to the “expectations” part of fear, it would be really interesting to hear you explore expectations / expectation setting.
It feels like there is a balance as we would want to push ourselves to succeed, but also not set them in such a way which produces too much anxiety?
Hey Ana! I love your channel I always watch your videos thank your for sharing with us your knowledge! I'm curious about knowing how to deal with anger, I suggest it like a theme for a future video. Not many people talk about it and I think it's important to approach. Thank you ana
Thank you for posting
Thanks a lot for your content, you do a great job & it really does help. You seem super sweet & like an all around beautiful person ❤️ keep it up
Y'know, this was pretty helpful. Thanks!
Your voice is very soothing! Thank you for the video. :)
you are a rockstar
9:14💙 11:50 defusion. 🇬🇹‼️⚕️13:15, 🧣🧼🪔15:16 19:46 🎮🖼Bullseye Exercise 🎯
21:04 Practical Action within 24 hours 🧸🌯🥗
The ideology beyond ACT tends to trigger me. I don't like when people imply to me I just need to accept my suffering, and communicate to me I should approach my life problems in a different way. Idm being challenged, but i dont like being devalidated. Sometimes suffering is truly contingent on a person's circumstances, and I accept that. Maybe other people should also just accept that and feel the discomfort that they can't alleviate my pain
Would you ever do a video on terror management theory
I just wanna say... thank you :)
Love you Ana. ❤
Amazing video
This is my problem with analogies, mountains do get shaped by weather conditions xD
And so do we by our thoughts. And that is my problem.
But I get the point
Really great videos but you should convert them to a podcast on Spotify aswell!
brain doesn't stop developing at 25
also, big fan of your content; keep up the great work !!
what are your thoughts on the fusion concept in the context of adhd ?? and with ACT, should someone be trying to accept that they have a different brain from the one that functions best in our society? or should they try to de fuse themselves from those symptoms? i think with adhd, trying to de fuse would just be resistance, because thoughts/feelings and legitimate symptoms are different, right? i’m pretty sure i’m right, but i wanted to ask in case i end up developing an unhealthy way of thinking about my situation and experience with adhd LOL
ACT is soooo underrated. It’s been my favorite that I’ve tried other than RODBT. Classic DBT has been really horrible for me specifically.
Hey! I took psychology courses in college and I was wondering if you ever experience this too: I find that sometimes I inhibit myself from simply feeling my emotions because when I notice them, I immediately try to implement a psychology skill to help myself. But sometimes I just distract myself with psychology and pathologize and look for solutions instead of just sitting in my feeling and realizing that having all the tools doesn't mean I will be happy 100% of the time
Or I feel like "I can't be depressed because that would be ironic. Like a fireman who accidentally burns his house down."
So it's just coming to terms with bad things happening and feelings occuring as they do and expressing grief or sadness in a healthy way without letting it totally consume you so you never heal or feel better? Sounds cool
Ana, in another video you mentioned that trauma is abnormal (the context was that there’s no abnormal reaction to something abnormal, trauma). But in this video you’re saying that suffering is normal. Can you explain the contradiction please?
Suffering is an intrinsic part of the human condition and being alive. Trauma, is differentiated from the day-to-day suffering that is part of living by the specific and particular severity and affects which a traumatic experience or traumatic event causes upon an individual's psyche. It's an abnormal rupture in the continuity of the 'normal' baseline psychological sense of self.
Isn’t good and bad, define also by wether something is pleasant or not?
Man, Evan sounds like my friend for years now. 🤔
5:57
I don't know if I am missing something, maybe it was the example suffering situation being that Evan didn't have a girlfriend, not something like Even has a genetic disorder with no known cure.
I struggle with the fact that, personally, it feels like very little of my suffering is actually in my control. And if the goal is to feel better somehow and I, for whatever reason, do not feel better, it's as if I just need to keep trying because I am failing to reach that goal.
Is there a therapy modality for just the acceptance piece? And not trying to control the outcome or the feelings involved by changing behaviors? Disappointed this is just CBT 3.0. I was hoping to learn a new strategy.
Dangit I fell in love with my therapist
In Finland, we dont focus to happiness but to finnish sisu. Causing depression equally as much tho.. lol
🥰
Hah this was a very bull`s eye video for me... It nailed me. So... In before I stray of what I want to type with compliments of your lip gloss~
During this video there is the question of "How do you introduce yourself to others in terms of what you are or identify with" and so ~The video in itself literally showed me the way :P
I am neither my age, nor a teacher... or a brother... I am... Evan :P Hi, my name is Evan :P (But it`s not actually really Evan, but if you've seen the video you know what I mean...) Well I might be 13~14 year older Evan than, Evan but still... Time actually really does not exist at all in the physical world, it`s only change, and biological change on DNA level is when it copy/paste itself with errors due to environmental influences. Could also be adapting to the very last breath, but it mostly actually really is those prissy atoms in the DNA strain that arranged themselves differently than the strain they separated from to duplicate (but didn`t) and so than they expand into a slightly different cell when it forms up around it with them (The DNA spiral) in it`s core... that then in it`s own term performs it`s functions slightly different (sometimes better, adapt, sometimes worse, age) and ultimately we get in a wooden box 2 meters within the ground, the end. :P
Also Ana check the 2 months ago, from September interview on that one TH-cam Channel of Alexis Ren and do a psychological analysis of it.
Also also, for the rest of the non living material world "time" is consistent atomic decay and cooling down... Yes sometimes new atoms are formed by reforming already existing ones or just monstrous energy collusions, but the overall tendency is for breaking down to smaller and smaller particles while losing temperature (energy) to reform into larger ones up until it reaches total stand still... or the inevitable thermal death of the universe. Also the auto spell check is underlining me all of this in red... So I'd go ahead and assume it`s all wrong in it`s entirety, but I am posting it as part of what I wrote ~anyway. Bye.
How do I figure out my values?
At 8:56 you said "enforced monogamy" and I think you meant celibacy! lol !! Maybe the two are actually pretty similar!
0:58
dude, we need more cat content!
😺😺😺😺😺😺
Just looking at the thumbnail this topic is such an oxymoron. Im cautiously curious. My inner voice is shouting "suffering? Okay? Are you crazy!?"
Why is life so much work?
Who am I? I am a spirit child of God.
my mom says you look pretty
nahh.... 😑 thugs belief
Pardon?
i have never felt so called out lmfao
Cool username