I'd not want a therapist showing herself that sexually or at least dístractive and possibly disturbing if the patient, esp if a male one, gets sexually triggered and/ or provoked. I don't want to be s´distracted and reminded of sex , but work through my stuff. I also wouldn't show much skin if i were a therapist. I have long been wondering whether DBT can be in a more advanced, rich, adult language compared with the compendium i saw, which was superficial , childish and empty.
Moving around and being productive helps be from a low mood too. When things feel out of control, stress definitely activates the flight or fight in me at times.
@@NiNNaHmArChEsSi Hi , Idk what you wan to say to me or what you are replying to. "she was in underwear"? .."going FOR the wrong way"? Never heard that in English.
u001 No, it’s not. I’ve watched almost all of the videos on mental health hosted by Kyle, and what he is sharing is consistent with what he’s shared & how he presents himself as a person across all the videos; it’s authentic. I have a tremendous amount of respect for him showcasing something so private & vulnerable, so that others suffering can learn and recognize how this can be beneficial for their lives. Kudos to you Kyle 👏🏻
"It's like being shot with a gun but you're alive and nobody sees you bleeding" wow YES I'm crying bc that was so relatable and validating to hear someone describe that so well
I had the same feeling when I lost my father. It gets better by the year. But it took around 3yrs to even feel a sense of normalcy. Others never realized my struggle. I even got exceptional performance in my yearly performance review at work. It can be tough. The feeling of hopelessness still surfaces at times.
I have Border Line Personality Disorder, and went through a D.B.T. program 10 years ago, and it changed my life. I can function in every day life better by leaps, and bounds. My marriage was saved by this program, as I became a better person, and father. The disorder is sometimes hard to live with, but I take medicine, and see a psychologist on a regular basis to help me in managing the illness. This can really work for you if you apply yourself, and embrace it. I highly recommend it rather you have my particular illness, or suffer from a myriad of other mental illnesses. My hope is that anyone who needs this will find it, as I stumbled across this therapy after 19 years of being misdiagnosed with major depressive disorder, and bipolar disorder(not simultaneously).
@@johngwiazda7793 are those meds also for depression/anxiety? How about st.johns wort? A naturopathic doctor recommended that to me for depression. I don't know if I need something for BPD though? I'm confused. But BPD causes depression, right?
@@melm6614 i was recently diagnosed with BPD and i take Lexapro! the medicine is for my anxiety but the hope was that it would lessen the symptoms of BPD enough so i could manage it with therapy. it’s only been a few days haha but if this doesn’t work, my doctor recommended a mood stabilizer for the BPD specifically
What I love about this is this is a classic scenario of what I call ‘an expert patient’. A patient that has long lived experience with the problem. This usually means there’s a degree of pessimism due to the length of the lived experience and the problem hasn’t gone away. A patient who has had experience of professional help and therefore is very familiar with a lot of coping strategies. These patients can smell bs if you as the counsellor are winging it. Often these kinds of patients shoot down a lot of your suggestions as they have tried them already, “and it doesn’t work”. Not easy. But if a person feels listened to and importantly if there’s a sense that you as the listener “get it” - that goes a long way.
@@PostalDude_1997 same. It is so discouraging that I don’t even try to see counselors anymore bc they don’t have any ideas I haven’t tried. It’s not their fault I’ve just had depression for so long and worked so hard for decades now that I am an expert on it unfortunately. I think having a counselor with chronic pain or mental health issues that they’ve worked on their whole lives might be helpful bc they can really understand that you are just exhausted and not being “unwilling” to change.
I'm a manual therapist in practice 26 years, just getting into trauma resolution therapy since studying the polyvagal work of Dr. Steve Porges and his colleague Deb Dana. Since I'm already a hands on practitioner (traditional osteopathic approach with emphasis on Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy), practicing that with a polyvagal/trauma informed approach is getting life changing results for people, because it addresses the somatic/physiologic autonomic nervous system level of trauma resolution. That can really help people!
i feel like at that point, when a person almost completely understands themselves and what they’ve gone through and how to deal with it, the only thing that will further help them is friends! what i mean is, if you understand that you will always deal w something like depression, and you’ve come to an understanding of your condition after a long time of seeking treatment and such, and it still doesn’t go away (which for most people it won’t), i suspect the best thing then is to accept your personal experience. this can be viewed as depressing, if you see your chronic issues through the mindset of something that must be fixed. that one day it will all go away and all the effort you put in will pay off in one glorious moment in the future and all the sudden you become the person you always imagined, and all the effort you’ve put in your whole life is for that payoff. i think we have to accept that the payoff (in the traditional sense you think of it in) may never come. i feel as if the best “cure” for this is to accept that life will be a constant struggle. however, surrounded by the right people, the struggle feels ok, if we are all honest and open with one another. unfortunately we live in a world where people more often than not aren’t completely honest, aren’t their true selves. this leads to isolation and alienation because we all suffer and just choose to pretend to be ok to distract ourselves in this life. more concerned with appearances than feelings
I thought it was just me who went this deep and went off on tangents when speaking to a therapist. I always thought I wasn’t doing therapy ‘right’ this is so refreshing to see
RESPECT to Kyle for putting himself out there like this. Thank you for helping us through your experiences. Personally, I would have started bawling. You are so STRONG for opening yourself up to this kind of scrutiny in front of the world!! We appreciate YOU! On another note, I loved this exchange: Dr. Judy: "Some people like to smell dry sheets." Kyle: "No, no that would not enjoy that! I would ask myself: 'Why am I doing this?'" LOL!
Haha! I’m a counselor and coping skills are SO personal. One that’s stupid and useless for one person is therapeutic to another. Exploring and finding the things that actually do have a therapeutic value is great.. I was amused by that exchange as well 😆
I started watching the video as a psych student but by the end, I was watching as a person who has struggled with depression and anxiety for most of their life. Kyle's experiences and emotions caught me off guard. I really appreciated his openness. It was so courageous.
it's curious to me that you cured your depression, but yet you found this to be an effective approach to helping someone with depression. to me it looked like a guy airing out his problems, and a woman ignoring the root cause, while smiling and nodding and telling him "yes I understand", and "we need to help you cope better".
@Chris Hayes, there is not a cure for mental health problems. The best thing you can do for your mental health is to break patterns and cycles that only fuel the problems your mental health issues can cause. As much as it is nice for people to say "I understand", that's not going to help you when you're at home, away from your therapist, trying to deal with an episode on your own. I've always thought that elementary schools should include mandatory coping classes so that kids learn at a young age how to break away from the black and white thinking and to slowly be able to cope with what they're dealing with. Because if you think about it, most people's problems are only multiplied because of their lack of coping. That's why therapists focus so much on it.
And what a perfect description, too. I've tried to explain it as being lost in a haunted forest; invisible to everyone around me as they seem to walk with a compass and sunshine.
I love when Dr. Ho explained ourselves as the main character, narrator, and audience. I’ve never thought about the whole audience aspect of it it all (the parts that will always be there that are whole). It really put into perspective the separation I can have between who I am really am and the “things” that have happened to me; they don’t necessarily make me who I am
@@modechick You don't need to think much, once you plan it, and you practice it, you are more likely to do it. I think it helps to rehearse it in imagination.
@@modechickyou can think to use it but it's not like it does anything in those moments does it so? 🤷🏻♀️ I know it works for anxiety, but in my extensive experience there's no benefit to doing those things with depression.
@@Tamarahope77 once you have some tools and use them enough it can become instinctual. It can be instinctual for Folks that use the cognitive triangle and recognize that initial problematic thought. Or "surfing your thoughts" where you accept and "surf" that thought as you ride it out...accepting that it's simply a thought and will go away in time, hopefully before an emotional reaction, etc.
The way you describe your depressive episodes, as having to live with bullet holes in you. Oh my gosh, I'm not alone. Thank you for making these videos.
You have just explained what I have not been able too. Hopelessness is hardwired. No matter what it's always hanging out with me. This will help me speak to my doctor. Thank you!
I think I feel similarly. In my head, to her point about the plays, I didn't see myself as a type-cast actor or a best selling author of tragedy. Turns out there are other genres. I hope I can find some.
I get his point about "hardwired" hopelessness. I do believe we learn early on to view the world through that lens. It is shaped by our earliest life experiences and the parenting we do or don't get. I try to help the young teens who are adopting the depressive out view on the world because it's currently cool to be dark and have a therapist at 14, to not adopt that lens. It's hard enough when we truly have that hardwired into us by life vs choosing it for "cred".
Is it hardwired or has it become an attachment? Dr Joe Dispenza explained this so well when an interviewer gave him an example of having an issue with sugar. The interviewer said he's addicted to sugar and he'll resist but sometimes he gives in at night and feels guilty. Dr Joe indicates maybe he's not addicted to sugar, he's addicted to the feeling of guilt. So then his brain will send urges & cravings which prompts his mind to begin to create automatic thoughts that have worked in the past to get us to do something that will create the state of being we are used to. If feeling guilty has become a routine, habit, attachment then when we try to stop, we first have to go through discomfort as with any change because our mind and body is used to something. Take care.
It's your ego mind (identity) hardwired (attached) to the notion of helplessness being part of you. The ego mind loves the victim stance and it can use our natural survival instincts against us. Were you to try to overthrow hopelessness it would create automatic thoughts that you think are your own that will scare you, reason with you, etc to make you think moving away from feeling/being it could harm you, hurt you or prove your worst fears to be true.
Kyle, I’m loving these episodes with you engaging in different forms of therapy. Could you please consider doing a series with Dr Cheryl Arutt where you do a trauma therapy session series with her. Would be incredibly helpful to watch. Thank you for your vulnerability. I love learning from you and relate so much to your story.
Love the fact that you treat but don’t label. Too many therapists and doctors want to label and say this is why your like this vs just taking the individual symptoms and working with them! Thank you for being one of a few therapists. Proud of you man for being so honest. My honesty with my shortcomings have only made subject to more people using my vulnerability to test and want me to react so they can say “ you see look at her”. So I’m envious you gave a great therapist! ❤️❤️
Dear Kyle! I am more than impressed! You are such a great person and host in my opinion. I am Gestalt therapist and love how authentic and honest You are. Thank You a lot
Awww he’s been through so much. God Bless him!! So amazing what he’s doing for people going through intense pain that no one else can relate to!! He’s doing more than enough he’s breaking barriers. We’re not alone.❤️
I have to make a comment of gratitude. Of immense gratitude for you both putting this therapy session for view and for free. I am someone who needs therapy, have been in therapy and completely believe in it's benefits. I firmly believe that I am still on this planet by the many therapists I've had the fortune to find. I'm in an economic position that doesn't afford a really good therapist. Those tend to be expensive. Can't find me a pro Bono one, and somehow social workers and the like, while incredibly valuable in what they do, don't do it for me. So the bottom line is how enormously significant it is for me to have a therapist to translate me to me in my life, and when the funds and or the insurance are not available....I PANICK! So I'm in constant search of therapeutic sessions that are free. And this one, I am getting awarenesses by watching and listening to the two of you. Just now, it occurred to me until the time comes when I can sit with my therapist face to face at least twice a week, I'm going to watch people who can afford a therapy session. One way or another I will have the cognitive, behavioral restructuring that I think I need. I also have books on top of books on the many different forms of therapy's. And today, I choose to believe, the Universe sent me You. Thank you for throwing a Life saver to an emotional drowning woman. When in doubt, just know that today, you did more than enough by allowing this session to be recorded and made available to people like me. Nothing tastes better than Hope. Thank you both.
I like the engage your senses strategy. But I *hate* it when therapists say you have to accept the experiences, and say things like "You are still sitting her and you survived them", like Dr Ho did. Yes, I survived but I am deeply scarred by it. The last episode was so traumatic that if it happens at that level again, I will pull the plug rather than go through it again. I feel like a torture survivor. Repeated traumatic experiences have a long-term effect and at some point, I wonder if it is worth it to continue. I don't want to accept being regularly tortured.
Acceptance is not the same as Passive behaviour. But accept it has already happened and you cannot go back into the past and do anything else. I agree with you, but in psychology, acceptance is not same as letting things happen and do nothing. When you accept experience, you dont have to try to fight for survive everytime, and you can see even bad or good experiences somehow shapes your life.
You literally bared all vulnerability for everyone to see so that your show could help us out. Massive thank you sweetheart that looked uncomfortable for you but thank you. It just reminds me that even when we think about our depression when we are doing well it can totally transport us back there. So to be careful with what you think about when we are well so we don’t trigger ourselves back into it. This video is gold. I have just found out I have bpd and have no support at the moment so this was incredibly helpful. Especially bringing in those soothing with the senses thing. Pure gold. Thank you. More like this please!!! Much love.
I love your honesty Kyle and your skepticism about the process. I have struggled with the “acceptance” side but I think for me it helps me to think about it like a Chinese finger trap.. the harder I worry or struggle against the feelings and depression the deeper I went. When I was able to say “okay.. I’m feeling depressed and that’s okay. This is just temporary and I’ll get through it.” it helps to not compound the issue by beating myself up, worrying about it being horrible or it going on forever. The understanding of it being temporary and remembering that the previous episodes always ended at some point is helpful for me.
In my experience a "prevention" plan has never worked for me. When i'm down i am down and i cancel everything ..there is nothing that can prevent the "episode". Inevitable is the right word
I’ve been struggling finding a hobby because my interests fluctuate so often. I change hobbies like I change outfits. But I tend to keep simple things around like a journal, coloring book, or knitting/crochet bag
I feel this way too. I hate my coping mechanisms when I'm sad and hangry. I know what will help, that's not what I want right now. Related to this, I don't know (yet) how to 'collaborate' the logic and emotions there rather than 'negotiate' or fight them.
@@BipolarBear107 Go EASY on yourself don't let anyONE tell YOU how to comfort yourself I dunno if I'm feeling this therapist 😅 because don't like people telling me how I should feel when feeling is healing best you can
There's something else with this whole BPD, which is the lack of self worth, and that feeling of not deserving to be loved and it wasn't mentioned. Hope it is taken up in a session. Thank you, Kyle!
I mean one person currently is offering i live with her but I am not comfortable to. But mostly when I have needs they are never met, when I actually seek help out. Sometimes help comes on its own and thats like the only time I get it - when the other person is willing to help.
@@justynak7644 as long as you seek what you need externally from others, circumstances, etc you will suffer. Everything we need is within. Before someone can show you respect, you have to have self-respect, make you feel valuable, you have to have a sense of self-worth, before getting love, create self-love. We are accountable to ourselves first. What you long for, figure out how to generate it within and then you will align with it externally. Take care.
One of the moments that helped me in life and when studying Psychology and mental health was understanding WHY , What is actually happening in your mind and body, the literal reasons of how things work. Dialectical therapy is hard work I think anyway
Could you do a video with Doctor Ramani on Depersonalisation/Derealization? A lot of people suffer from this condition. Also thanks to the volunteers who take part in these sessions, you help a lot of people.
Yes, please! I would love to hear Dr. Ramani talk about Dissociative disorders (not really DID) but depersonalization/derealization and dissociative amnesia. I suffer with all three of these.
I have BPD, I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and spoken word performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my TH-cam channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates.
Watching this vid helped me realize that I've been trying to run away from my sadness, and that i didn't really want help with that, rather i needed to let myself give in and feel it, because that's what she wanted - to be see, felt and respected. It's hard cause supposedly I'm out of my depression for a few months, so feeling a wave coming over me again makes me think of myself as a disappointment. I think it's an important moment to note that feeling the emotion of sadness and being medically depressed are different things. Staving off the sadness was a part of the reason why i got depressed in the first place. Will try to let myself be with my feelings. Wish me good luck
I appreciate Kyle articulating his feelings. It takes a lot of courage and I thank him for expressing this. I also wonder if he could be a quiet borderline personality who implodes. Maybe an introvert with a high emotional sensations.
I'm going into my third year as a Marriage and Family Therapy student, and the videos on this channel are so helpful. Such a great refresher. I appreciate this clear communication. Thank you both for doing this!
I really loved how instead of just agreeing with everything she suggested, he was like “yeah but in the moment that is not going to stop me from spiralling downwards.” And so she could respond, I feel like the honestly allowed for a better explanation of what you are actually trying to accomplish with DBT “the loosening of a grande way to solve the problem.”
This seems real, I’ve had many episodes of major depression, and I get the impression that he really has too. For me it’s like I’m being tortured and I can’t get away. By the time it gets that bad nothing anyone says or does makes any difference. Someone said he was acting, but I don’t think so.🌷🌷🌷
Hey you, so much respect to you :) My bpd hit big time about 5 and a half years ago. I had my own business as a complementary therapist and also worked at a palliative care hospice. I loved it and was so proud of myself :) My bpd became so bad I lost it all. I can never work again and here you are giving us all strength and support. Thank you so much for sharing your personal struggles with us yet still continuing to support us. So much thanks :)
I have BPD and you have no idea how helpful these videos are, I'm literally crying because this has helped more than my therapists. Thank you SO much. You're changing people's lives.
It’s a relief to hear someone talk openly about their struggles with depression. A relief because you no longer feel alienated like you’re the only one with those struggles. I don’t think I have depression as bad as some other people, as I do have good days, but with the recent pandemic, and being unemployed, I’ve had more time on my hands than usual to be distracted by my own thoughts. I also struggle with panic disorder. After an episode I’m usually exhausted the next day, which makes me want to sleep in bed all day, on top of already feeling hopeless. It’s hard not to beat up on yourself when you feel unmotivated and like you haven’t accomplished much in the day. I’m interested in learning more about DBT. I like the idea they brought up of picking one thing from a list to do to help brighten your day up. I think it’s worth a try.
Wow - I see myself so much in Kyle and feel a deep compasion, love and ore for HIM - Feelings and emotions I never would be able to feel toward myself. - It makes me feel so crippled
The way he said "you know what calms me down so fast..." but before he said "... a clean organized house" I thought he was going to tell us some weird deep dark secret
That’s what I was wondering too, especially since he was in his teens. Teens are challenging enough without the trauma of losing a loved one (especially your mother). I wish him peace in getting to the other side of this.
Honestly? I feel like everything in life all boils down to this ONE fact: do you have a best friend? My Mom was my best friend and my biggest cheerleader and helped me on a daily basis. I feel I did the same for her. When you have this "go to" person in ur life? Day to day life is mutually survivable. For people who lack a best friend? Everyday is challenging. Everything becomes a struggle. As such, I recommend everyone out there who struggles with anxiety and depression needs to actively cultivate relationships that are SUPPORTIVE. Great channel. Great speakers. Good, practical advice we all can benefit from.
yes exactly, because humans are a social species. people don’t understand that social interaction, more importantly deep, unconditionally loving social interaction is literally ESSENTIAL to living a healthy life (ie a real best friend or multiple), it literally slows aging. we have become so removed and hyper individualistic as a society and as a community based species that is COMPLETELY detrimental to our well-being, individually and as a whole. we simply have not evolved to be able to thrive without the need of genuine connection to others.
Rose I am the mum in a similar relationship with my daughter, you are so right about finding a go to person, someone who offers unconditional positive regard, congruence and empathy in equal measures
I love this analogy. the character in pain(me), the narrator telling the story(me) and the audience in attendance watching the play(me). A different me in a different role at a different level. Know I need the language for each role.
It's crazy to think that I stopped therapy less than a year after being diagnosed with bpd, come to find this video and relate to it so well. I've apparently been applying this therapy to myself without even knowing it once I started taking care of my own mental health. I refused to be on meds after an attempt. I wanted to do this myself after hating myself and feeling worthless for so long, this was mine. I feel so proud to be where I'm at in life right now and now to know that I've been on the right path the whole time
I feel like we're unlocking a new potential in humanity. The more we understand ourselves, the better we will be to others. And we all get a little bit better as time goes on. Idk it's just awesome. Thanks for the quality content.
He is not a real patient he is role playing. If I am not wrong he himself is from medical profession. They do these sessions for people to learn especially therapist.
@@samiazaffar7096 He's not from a medical profession and in fact a lot of what he's speaking about are really from his personal life. He really is into real estate, for example
He's not... He's acting out a scenario 🙄🙄 aka being a narcissist and insulting people. Videos like these are dangerous for people who have mental illnesses
Depression is so over diagnosed. I finally was diagnosed with BPD and got the treatment I’ve really needed for a long time. I wish I was helped a long time ago.
Real talk which is great! The quote, “put out the best” felt like a double edged sword. Ideal self is so high. High branch on the tree. Come down here with the nice leaves in the middle of the tree. 😀
If I may offer some insight/info: I noticed you have dark circles under ur eyes & I had them my entire childhood & up until a few yrs ago when I was having physical & mental symptoms that no dr could figure out why. While hospitalized, a very smart hospitalist had a hunch & decided to run some non-typical labs. He came in the next day & said “found it!” They immediately began treating me for anemia w a compounded iron daily & B12 injections (weekly) INDEFINITELY. I can’t tell you what a change I went through. I became the healthiest I’d ever been & all the mental symptoms left. If drs are merely checking B12 levels, they won’t find it, mine showed within normal levels. Ask for comprehensive labs for anemia. Also there’s a loading period for first 2 weeks I had injections every day & tapered from there to once week. I went from taking several RX’s for anxiety to now only taking a thyroid med. Read up on B12 deficiency & mental symptoms.
This may help some people definitely, B12 deficiency is very serious. especially with vegetarians. However he would have been screened for this, its a commonly performed blood test.
Si vis amari, ama. My B12 showed NORMAL range every time it was drawn. This was a comprehensive lab that found it & I’ll add exactly which one/s here when I find. There’s a book called COULD IT BE B12 by Sally Pacholok that is well worth the read & explains how there’s an undiagnosed & misdiagnosed epidemic of B12 deficiency. I have no affiliation whatsoever & only found the book after my unnecessary lengthy ordeal. th-cam.com/video/OvMxJ6GRBNQ/w-d-xo.html
Si vis amari, ama. Autoimmune Pernicious Anemia. It went undiagnosed up until just a few years ago. Everyone was treating symptoms instead of looking for the underlying cause. The very smart hospitalist that cared enough to follow a hunch will forever be in my debt. Doesn’t matter how much B12 is in your system if your body can’t utilize it. Mine can’t due to lack of intrinsic factor. Now I’m the healthiest I’ve been & only on 1 RX. 🙏🏼
@@soultosoul6645 That is very interesting! I wonder if there is a link between Autoimmune Pernicious Anemia and Crohn's disease, because he explains that he has Crohn's? Both are autoimmune diseases, so it kind of makes you think, doesn't it? Also, to me he looks exhausted - I do not pick up 'depression vibes' from him. This is total speculation, by the way. I don't know him and I thought he was just acting a part when I first started watching it.
Loved, "Use the analogy of people watching a play. And there's the actors in the play, and sometimes there's horrible things going on in the storyline, and then there's a narrator who is talking about what's going on, even the bad storylines, but they're a little bit removed because they're narrating the entire story and they kind of know the beginning and the end. And then there's the audience members who are even on another step more removed because they're watching all of this unfold but they don't necessarily have a personal stake in it. And I think that there's all of these different levels of who we are. There's a level of us that's like actually the characters experiencing the pain in the turmoil because the storyline is horrible. And then there's a narrator who can take a step back and say okay I'm mindfully observing what's happening and yeah this is a really sad story but I'm not emotionally steeped in it to the same level of the pain that the actors themselves might be experiencing. And then if you back up another level they're sort of the audience which is the audience will always be there. There's different audience members for different plays, they're interchangeable, but in the end they've always been a group that will be there at any show, and that particular piece is the self that has seen you through all of your pain and all of your happy times and remains intact, and nothing happens to it. That part of you is whole, and understanding that sometimes can help with distressful moments. That there will be a part of me that emerges whole, and there's a part of me that feels broken right now. But like you were saying, there's these different aspects of yourself, and being able to separate out sometimes preserves the part of you that needs to be preserved at a time."
I've noted in watching so many videos how well Kyle presents himself. Not trying to be superficial here, just impressed with how he may struggle yet is able to do it. On my bad days I feel I've accomplished something if I brush my teeth and get out of my pajamas! I've read that so many people are like me, where their appearance starts to be unimportant.
@16:42 "In the end [there is a part of me that] will always be here. That particular piece is the self that has seen you through all of your pain and all of your happy times, and remains in tact, and nothing happens to it. That part is of you is whole. Understanding that can help with distressful moments. There will be part of me that emerges whole and there's a part of me that feels broken right now. But there's these different aspects of yourself. Being able to separate them out preserves that part of you that needs to be preserve across time. "
I have been a clinical hypnotherapist for over 20 years. Having originally studied psychology with the intent to become a psychotherapist, I somewhat pride myself on keeping current with psychological theory and having a broad knowledge of the various schools of therapy that are out there. However, I had never heard of DBT until a client recently mentioned that she had undergone this approach. Thank you, for this video, as it really helps to explain why so many clients come to see me, as well as reinforcing my decision years ago to dump this nonsense for something that actually empowers people.
This was so very helpful. Actually really logical and easy things to do but if nobody ever tells you those things they cannot become tools for overcoming these thoughts and behaviors. Thank you both for this amazing and open session!
I can’t help but wonder if Kyle has ever experienced a trauma informed therapy style after his mother’s death during his formative years. The suppression of emotions that have accompanied him could all be tied up in that trauma. Props to him for his vulnerability here I think it’ll make so many people feel less alone. Truly inspiring work.
especially considering trauma informed therapy will guide the individual properly into their body while Kyle had the very physical description of bullet holes in his body yet no one can see him bleeding. lots to unpack there
This does work and has helped me so much. I took meds only but didn't get real relief until i saw a psychologist and went to group therapy, who tought dbt and gave me the tool belt to use. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel ❤ i removed toxic people from my life also. I can now recognize them pretty quickly. Stay away from negativity, especially your thinking patterns. It takes practice but it will change your life. Its been 5 years for me. Do i have it licked? No but im able to get out of my moods now by doing the things that make me happy and accepting what is. If your considering do this....please do ❤
Kyle and Dr. Judy, thank you for this video. I can see how DBT would provide helpful techniques for dealing with my emotional hi-jacks when I get flashbacks of past traumas and abuse. Looking at at my dogs is a good distractor for me as well.
Love that you have been open with what depression has been like. I too lost my mother at a young age and my father lived far away so not really in my life. It effects you in a way we don't fully understand. Depression runs in my family. It is frustrating when you know you could be so productive and helpful to people but the depression drags you down. Meds and DBT can help but still a struggle cause you don't know when it will hit you. A constant battle between logic mind and emotional mind as well has hormones in my case. It also is holding me back financially as I am a nurse and unable to work do to my third burn out. Having 3 baby's, a long drawn out divorce from a man with narcissistic traits and perimenapause symptoms with a difficult job/boss have been the 3 triggers for 3 differant episodes. Trying to figure out what makes me happy, as little stress as possible, at this time, seams to help. I am trying not to be a people pleaser and make time for me. Thanks for being so open. You are not alone in this struggle and learning process❣
As a new practitioner, this video has been invaluable to me. I've learned so much that I plan to take with me into practice. Thank you (watching again).
Omg that depression example sounds just like mine, including self care issues and over eating when things are bad, yet like many such otherwise functioning persons, I eventually pull myself out of the quagmire. But I'm still not achieving the functioning flow that I crave to survive 🦋
something about hearing essentially finding compromise for the emotional and logical side of your mind in those moments was so relieving, I felt like I learned something I’d been missing for such a long time
No one is better than anyone else and anyone who thinks in those terms is a covert Narc. We can only give our best and be grateful for who and what we have in our lives. Kyle does not need anyone’s approval other than his own. I have got massive respect for anyone who can bare their soul like he has, and he is doing it to raise awareness. Well done Medcircle for this content and I am grateful for the opportunity to gain further understanding and knowledge on mental health issues. Thank you 👊
I have major depressive disorder and this video was incredibly helpful! I am like u, I know what it's like to have a major bout of depression hit u and not know what to do. I really appreciate these videos.
At the 15:50 mark, you talk about these very strong depressive episodes, and that a key to getting through them accepting that you can endure and survive. How do you approach this when the client believes that payoff is not worth it. What if a client truly would rather die than have to endure an episode?
I have had the same feelings as your client throughout the years. We have to stay busy doing some sort of class or group that we are truly interested in . An old movie that we watched growing up or keeping a favorite song on replay will help us feel through the hard moments of life.
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Watch the rest of this exclusive series on dialectical behavior therapy HERE:bit.ly/2ApMqC6
I'd not want a therapist showing herself that sexually or at least dístractive and possibly disturbing if the patient, esp if a male one, gets sexually triggered and/ or provoked. I don't want to be s´distracted and reminded of sex , but work through my stuff. I also wouldn't show much skin if i were a therapist.
I have long been wondering whether DBT can be in a more advanced, rich, adult language compared with the compendium i saw, which was superficial , childish and empty.
I'm confused. Is it how a dbt therapy session looks like? How is that different from psychoanalysis?
Moving around and being productive helps be from a low mood too. When things feel out of control, stress definitely activates the flight or fight in me at times.
@@Medietos sorry I thought she was in underwear, your mind is going for the wrong way lady
@@NiNNaHmArChEsSi Hi , Idk what you wan to say to me or what you are replying to. "she was in underwear"? .."going FOR the wrong way"? Never heard that in English.
Mad respect for u showing this level of vulnerability to millions of strangers. Love and light ❤️
@u001 and u know this how exactly? And if it is, so what? If it encourages ppl to seek help.
u001 if you think that, you’ve never had an episode of major depressive illness.
u001 No, it’s not.
I’ve watched almost all of the videos on mental health hosted by Kyle, and what he is sharing is consistent with what he’s shared & how he presents himself as a person across all the videos; it’s authentic.
I have a tremendous amount of respect for him showcasing something so private & vulnerable, so that others suffering can learn and recognize how this can be beneficial for their lives.
Kudos to you Kyle 👏🏻
@u001 it’s a mock session but it’s using his real life experiences.
AMAZING respect ♥️♥️♥️
"It's like being shot with a gun but you're alive and nobody sees you bleeding" wow YES I'm crying bc that was so relatable and validating to hear someone describe that so well
YES!!
Thats a dream I had! I kept asking people for help as I was bleeding and they’d point me to the band-aides.
I had the same feeling when I lost my father. It gets better by the year. But it took around 3yrs to even feel a sense of normalcy. Others never realized my struggle. I even got exceptional performance in my yearly performance review at work. It can be tough. The feeling of hopelessness still surfaces at times.
The pain is excruciating and your just expected to go on with regular life
I thought so as well. Such a perfect word picture. I will definitely use this when I interact with my support system.
I really appreciate seeing a "well put together" guy being so candid about what the rest of the world doesn't see.
So true! 👌
I have Border Line Personality Disorder, and went through a D.B.T. program 10 years ago, and it changed my life. I can function in every day life better by leaps, and bounds. My marriage was saved by this program, as I became a better person, and father. The disorder is sometimes hard to live with, but I take medicine, and see a psychologist on a regular basis to help me in managing the illness. This can really work for you if you apply yourself, and embrace it. I highly recommend it rather you have my particular illness, or suffer from a myriad of other mental illnesses. My hope is that anyone who needs this will find it, as I stumbled across this therapy after 19 years of being misdiagnosed with major depressive disorder, and bipolar disorder(not simultaneously).
Will you share what meds you take for the BPD?
@@melm6614 Effexor, Lamotrigine.
@@johngwiazda7793 are those meds also for depression/anxiety? How about st.johns wort? A naturopathic doctor recommended that to me for depression. I don't know if I need something for BPD though? I'm confused. But BPD causes depression, right?
@@melm6614 i was recently diagnosed with BPD and i take Lexapro! the medicine is for my anxiety but the hope was that it would lessen the symptoms of BPD enough so i could manage it with therapy. it’s only been a few days haha but if this doesn’t work, my doctor recommended a mood stabilizer for the BPD specifically
@@melm6614 I take risperidone and it works fantastically when emotional regulation becomes a problem.
He's really good at articulating how I feel
Yeah feeling like you've been shot and having to keep going on like nothing happened
I should take him to my therapy session so that he can explain for me 😂
@@kita476 lowkey I plan on showing this to my therapist 🤣
I just forwarded this to my therapist.
Exactly
What I love about this is this is a classic scenario of what I call ‘an expert patient’.
A patient that has long lived experience with the problem. This usually means there’s a degree of pessimism due to the length of the lived experience and the problem hasn’t gone away.
A patient who has had experience of professional help and therefore is very familiar with a lot of coping strategies.
These patients can smell bs if you as the counsellor are winging it.
Often these kinds of patients shoot down a lot of your suggestions as they have tried them already, “and it doesn’t work”.
Not easy.
But if a person feels listened to and importantly if there’s a sense that you as the listener “get it” - that goes a long way.
@@andyp3834
Sorry - what specifically is your question Andy?
@@PostalDude_1997 same. It is so discouraging that I don’t even try to see counselors anymore bc they don’t have any ideas I haven’t tried. It’s not their fault I’ve just had depression for so long and worked so hard for decades now that I am an expert on it unfortunately. I think having a counselor with chronic pain or mental health issues that they’ve worked on their whole lives might be helpful bc they can really understand that you are just exhausted and not being “unwilling” to change.
Correct!
I'm a manual therapist in practice 26 years, just getting into trauma resolution therapy since studying the polyvagal work of Dr. Steve Porges and his colleague Deb Dana. Since I'm already a hands on practitioner (traditional osteopathic approach with emphasis on Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy), practicing that with a polyvagal/trauma informed approach is getting life changing results for people, because it addresses the somatic/physiologic autonomic nervous system level of trauma resolution. That can really help people!
i feel like at that point, when a person almost completely understands themselves and what they’ve gone through and how to deal with it, the only thing that will further help them is friends!
what i mean is, if you understand that you will always deal w something like depression, and you’ve come to an understanding of your condition after a long time of seeking treatment and such, and it still doesn’t go away (which for most people it won’t), i suspect the best thing then is to accept your personal experience. this can be viewed as depressing, if you see your chronic issues through the mindset of something that must be fixed. that one day it will all go away and all the effort you put in will pay off in one glorious moment in the future and all the sudden you become the person you always imagined, and all the effort you’ve put in your whole life is for that payoff.
i think we have to accept that the payoff (in the traditional sense you think of it in) may never come.
i feel as if the best “cure” for this is to accept that life will be a constant struggle.
however, surrounded by the right people, the struggle feels ok, if we are all honest and open with one another. unfortunately we live in a world where people more often than not aren’t completely honest, aren’t their true selves.
this leads to isolation and alienation because we all suffer and just choose to pretend to be ok to distract ourselves in this life. more concerned with appearances than feelings
I thought it was just me who went this deep and went off on tangents when speaking to a therapist. I always thought I wasn’t doing therapy ‘right’ this is so refreshing to see
Me too!
Same!
Same here.
I still sit in judgement that we haven't gone deep enough sirs, buckle up, to the fathoms we must go
RESPECT to Kyle for putting himself out there like this.
Thank you for helping us through your experiences. Personally, I would have started bawling. You are so STRONG for opening yourself up to this kind of scrutiny in front of the world!!
We appreciate YOU!
On another note, I loved this exchange:
Dr. Judy: "Some people like to smell dry sheets."
Kyle: "No, no that would not enjoy that! I would ask myself: 'Why am I doing this?'"
LOL!
Haha! I’m a counselor and coping skills are SO personal. One that’s stupid and useless for one person is therapeutic to another. Exploring and finding the things that actually do have a therapeutic value is great.. I was amused by that exchange as well 😆
Kyle’s “being shot but no one sees” metaphor was so so powerful. I felt that. Radical acceptance is hard, but so important. I haven’t mastered it yet
I started watching the video as a psych student but by the end, I was watching as a person who has struggled with depression and anxiety for most of their life. Kyle's experiences and emotions caught me off guard. I really appreciated his openness. It was so courageous.
Exactly same here. Hoping you will graduate soon
it's curious to me that you cured your depression, but yet you found this to be an effective approach to helping someone with depression. to me it looked like a guy airing out his problems, and a woman ignoring the root cause, while smiling and nodding and telling him "yes I understand", and "we need to help you cope better".
@Chris Hayes, there is not a cure for mental health problems. The best thing you can do for your mental health is to break patterns and cycles that only fuel the problems your mental health issues can cause. As much as it is nice for people to say "I understand", that's not going to help you when you're at home, away from your therapist, trying to deal with an episode on your own.
I've always thought that elementary schools should include mandatory coping classes so that kids learn at a young age how to break away from the black and white thinking and to slowly be able to cope with what they're dealing with. Because if you think about it, most people's problems are only multiplied because of their lack of coping. That's why therapists focus so much on it.
Very same case here!! I hope you are doing better!!
Wow!
When he mentioned, “like I would have canceled today”, my heart sank to my feet. YES. I have backed out or canceled on so many things.
"You know what calms me down so fast? A clean, organized house." YES!
I don’t understand how this helps. I just get more angry and frustrated when I clean
@@leejonjenkbo8547 It's not the cleaning part that is calming, it's the being clean part that is.
He looks so exhausted explaining his troubles and I totally understand ❤ we will totally make it through this just because we want to so badly
🥺🥺🥺 about halfway through when he said his major depressive episodes felt like he was being shot but had to live through it, made me want to cry
And what a perfect description, too. I've tried to explain it as being lost in a haunted forest; invisible to everyone around me as they seem to walk with a compass and sunshine.
I love when Dr. Ho explained ourselves as the main character, narrator, and audience. I’ve never thought about the whole audience aspect of it it all (the parts that will always be there that are whole). It really put into perspective the separation I can have between who I am really am and the “things” that have happened to me; they don’t necessarily make me who I am
Kyle, you have no idea how much you help me and other people who struggle with mental illness. You are a special person 💕
So just becoming Self Aware is half the battle. Thank you so much
I want to hug him and tell him that he is speaking for many people
Can we appreciate the openness and vulnerability here - including fighting stigma for mental health but also for medication!
I really love how they talked about using our five senses to ground ourselves. What a great tool to have in our bags for ourselves and for clients.
in the midst of an 'episode' u dont think to use them tho surely
@@modechick You don't need to think much, once you plan it, and you practice it, you are more likely to do it. I think it helps to rehearse it in imagination.
@@modechickyou can think to use it but it's not like it does anything in those moments does it so? 🤷🏻♀️ I know it works for anxiety, but in my extensive experience there's no benefit to doing those things with depression.
@@Tamarahope77 once you have some tools and use them enough it can become instinctual. It can be instinctual for Folks that use the cognitive triangle and recognize that initial problematic thought. Or "surfing your thoughts" where you accept and "surf" that thought as you ride it out...accepting that it's simply a thought and will go away in time, hopefully before an emotional reaction, etc.
The way you describe your depressive episodes, as having to live with bullet holes in you. Oh my gosh, I'm not alone. Thank you for making these videos.
You have just explained what I have not been able too. Hopelessness is hardwired. No matter what it's always hanging out with me. This will help me speak to my doctor. Thank you!
I think I feel similarly. In my head, to her point about the plays, I didn't see myself as a type-cast actor or a best selling author of tragedy. Turns out there are other genres. I hope I can find some.
I get his point about "hardwired" hopelessness. I do believe we learn early on to view the world through that lens. It is shaped by our earliest life experiences and the parenting we do or don't get. I try to help the young teens who are adopting the depressive out view on the world because it's currently cool to be dark and have a therapist at 14, to not adopt that lens. It's hard enough when we truly have that hardwired into us by life vs choosing it for "cred".
Is it hardwired or has it become an attachment? Dr Joe Dispenza explained this so well when an interviewer gave him an example of having an issue with sugar. The interviewer said he's addicted to sugar and he'll resist but sometimes he gives in at night and feels guilty. Dr Joe indicates maybe he's not addicted to sugar, he's addicted to the feeling of guilt. So then his brain will send urges & cravings which prompts his mind to begin to create automatic thoughts that have worked in the past to get us to do something that will create the state of being we are used to. If feeling guilty has become a routine, habit, attachment then when we try to stop, we first have to go through discomfort as with any change because our mind and body is used to something. Take care.
It's your ego mind (identity) hardwired (attached) to the notion of helplessness being part of you. The ego mind loves the victim stance and it can use our natural survival instincts against us. Were you to try to overthrow hopelessness it would create automatic thoughts that you think are your own that will scare you, reason with you, etc to make you think moving away from feeling/being it could harm you, hurt you or prove your worst fears to be true.
Kyle, I’m loving these episodes with you engaging in different forms of therapy. Could you please consider doing a series with Dr Cheryl Arutt where you do a trauma therapy session series with her. Would be incredibly helpful to watch. Thank you for your vulnerability. I love learning from you and relate so much to your story.
Love the fact that you treat but don’t label. Too many therapists and doctors want to label and say this is why your like this vs just taking the individual symptoms and working with them! Thank you for being one of a few therapists. Proud of you man for being so honest. My honesty with my shortcomings have only made subject to more people using my vulnerability to test and want me to react so they can say “ you see look at her”. So I’m envious you gave a great therapist! ❤️❤️
I would love to see what this looks like with someone with BPD. I am concerned my son isn't receiving the quality of therapy he needs.
It's tough to trust the therapist when you're the parent. You have to be tough with accepting criticism if you're a therapist.
@sammy Roberts thank you for sharing that! ❤
@@jrg305 👍
Find a therapist who knows DBT. It was developed by Marsha Linehan who has BPD. Best of luck!
sammy Roberts thank u for sharing 🙏🏼
Dear Kyle! I am more than impressed! You are such a great person and host in my opinion. I am Gestalt therapist and love how authentic and honest You are. Thank You a lot
Awww he’s been through so much. God Bless him!! So amazing what he’s doing for people going through intense pain that no one else can relate to!! He’s doing more than enough he’s breaking barriers. We’re not alone.❤️
He is an actor haha! He is alot of these TH-cam videos as an actor.
14:13 the detail of his experience contrasting his calmness is surreal. I love this guy. Knowing that he can do this is inspiring.
I have to make a comment of gratitude. Of immense gratitude for you both putting this therapy session for view and for free. I am someone who needs therapy, have been in therapy and completely believe in it's benefits. I firmly believe that I am still on this planet by the many therapists I've had the fortune to find. I'm in an economic position that doesn't afford a really good therapist. Those tend to be expensive. Can't find me a pro Bono one, and somehow social workers and the like, while incredibly valuable in what they do, don't do it for me. So the bottom line is how enormously significant it is for me to have a therapist to translate me to me in my life, and when the funds and or the insurance are not available....I PANICK! So I'm in constant search of therapeutic sessions that are free. And this one, I am getting awarenesses by watching and listening to the two of you. Just now, it occurred to me until the time comes when I can sit with my therapist face to face at least twice a week, I'm going to watch people who can afford a therapy session. One way or another I will have the cognitive, behavioral restructuring that I think I need. I also have books on top of books on the many different forms of therapy's. And today, I choose to believe, the Universe sent me You.
Thank you for throwing a Life saver to an emotional drowning woman. When in doubt, just know that today, you did more than enough by allowing this session to be recorded and made available to people like me. Nothing tastes better than Hope.
Thank you both.
I like the engage your senses strategy. But I *hate* it when therapists say you have to accept the experiences, and say things like "You are still sitting her and you survived them", like Dr Ho did. Yes, I survived but I am deeply scarred by it. The last episode was so traumatic that if it happens at that level again, I will pull the plug rather than go through it again. I feel like a torture survivor. Repeated traumatic experiences have a long-term effect and at some point, I wonder if it is worth it to continue. I don't want to accept being regularly tortured.
Truth
Acceptance is not the same as Passive behaviour. But accept it has already happened and you cannot go back into the past and do anything else. I agree with you, but in psychology, acceptance is not same as letting things happen and do nothing. When you accept experience, you dont have to try to fight for survive everytime, and you can see even bad or good experiences somehow shapes your life.
@@dagonluke Interesting reply thank you I will think again about this.
Please press on. You are not alone.
Totally agree with you. I have to work on staying normal every day.
You literally bared all vulnerability for everyone to see so that your show could help us out. Massive thank you sweetheart that looked uncomfortable for you but thank you. It just reminds me that even when we think about our depression when we are doing well it can totally transport us back there. So to be careful with what you think about when we are well so we don’t trigger ourselves back into it. This video is gold. I have just found out I have bpd and have no support at the moment so this was incredibly helpful. Especially bringing in those soothing with the senses thing. Pure gold. Thank you. More like this please!!! Much love.
I love your honesty Kyle and your skepticism about the process. I have struggled with the “acceptance” side but I think for me it helps me to think about it like a Chinese finger trap.. the harder I worry or struggle against the feelings and depression the deeper I went. When I was able to say “okay.. I’m feeling depressed and that’s okay. This is just temporary and I’ll get through it.” it helps to not compound the issue by beating myself up, worrying about it being horrible or it going on forever. The understanding of it being temporary and remembering that the previous episodes always ended at some point is helpful for me.
In my experience a "prevention" plan has never worked for me. When i'm down i am down and i cancel everything ..there is nothing that can prevent the "episode". Inevitable is the right word
I’ve been struggling finding a hobby because my interests fluctuate so often. I change hobbies like I change outfits.
But I tend to keep simple things around like a journal, coloring book, or knitting/crochet bag
I feel this way too. I hate my coping mechanisms when I'm sad and hangry. I know what will help, that's not what I want right now. Related to this, I don't know (yet) how to 'collaborate' the logic and emotions there rather than 'negotiate' or fight them.
@@BipolarBear107 Go EASY on yourself don't let anyONE tell YOU how to comfort yourself I dunno if I'm feeling this therapist 😅 because don't like people telling me how I should feel when feeling is healing best you can
There's something else with this whole BPD, which is the lack of self worth, and that feeling of not deserving to be loved and it wasn't mentioned. Hope it is taken up in a session. Thank you, Kyle!
personally I think it comes from people on the whole not giving me the intimacy I long for so then I feel that way.
I mean one person currently is offering i live with her but I am not comfortable to. But mostly when I have needs they are never met, when I actually seek help out. Sometimes help comes on its own and thats like the only time I get it - when the other person is willing to help.
He is talking of depression vs BPD
@@justynak7644 as long as you seek what you need externally from others, circumstances, etc you will suffer. Everything we need is within. Before someone can show you respect, you have to have self-respect, make you feel valuable, you have to have a sense of self-worth, before getting love, create self-love. We are accountable to ourselves first. What you long for, figure out how to generate it within and then you will align with it externally. Take care.
I really like the host who is being so candid and genuine. He is a great host.
We need to see more of this! Real people be really vulnerable to find real healing. Thank you!
One of the moments that helped me in life and when studying Psychology and mental health was understanding WHY , What is actually happening in your mind and body, the literal reasons of how things work. Dialectical therapy is hard work I think anyway
Could you do a video with Doctor Ramani on Depersonalisation/Derealization? A lot of people suffer from this condition.
Also thanks to the volunteers who take part in these sessions, you help a lot of people.
Mike ...good suggestion you gave about derealization
Yes please, I have this along with C-PTSD
Yes, please! I would love to hear Dr. Ramani talk about Dissociative disorders (not really DID) but depersonalization/derealization and dissociative amnesia. I suffer with all three of these.
Yea I’d like to see it as well, I’m actually suffering from this right now for 2 months now
@@artangel23 me too
I have BPD, I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and spoken word performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my TH-cam channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates.
Watching this vid helped me realize that I've been trying to run away from my sadness, and that i didn't really want help with that, rather i needed to let myself give in and feel it, because that's what she wanted - to be see, felt and respected. It's hard cause supposedly I'm out of my depression for a few months, so feeling a wave coming over me again makes me think of myself as a disappointment. I think it's an important moment to note that feeling the emotion of sadness and being medically depressed are different things. Staving off the sadness was a part of the reason why i got depressed in the first place. Will try to let myself be with my feelings. Wish me good luck
Check out Michael Singers releasing emotions.
I appreciate Kyle articulating his feelings. It takes a lot of courage and I thank him for expressing this. I also wonder if he could be a quiet borderline personality who implodes. Maybe an introvert with a high emotional sensations.
I'm going into my third year as a Marriage and Family Therapy student, and the videos on this channel are so helpful. Such a great refresher. I appreciate this clear communication. Thank you both for doing this!
This gentleman has been very, I mean brutally, honest. Thank you!!😘
Kyle bravo! You are super human. Respect to you and a therapist. Great view in my problems also. Stay healthy and diligent as you are. 🌈⭐️
I really loved how instead of just agreeing with everything she suggested, he was like “yeah but in the moment that is not going to stop me from spiralling downwards.” And so she could respond, I feel like the honestly allowed for a better explanation of what you are actually trying to accomplish with DBT “the loosening of a grande way to solve the problem.”
And he also agreed with her alot too, so I feel that he was being genuinely interested and involved in her session.
This is a great conversation
@@a_leaf but he said he works for the channel also so he is well versed in mental health. He's not a novice off the street, they are colleagues.
@@Listen2BAware ah I see now, thank you for that detail, totally did not know that. He does seem more informed than a regular patient.
This seems real, I’ve had many episodes of major depression, and I get the impression that he really has too. For me it’s like I’m being tortured and I can’t get away. By the time it gets that bad nothing anyone says or does makes any difference. Someone said he was acting, but I don’t think so.🌷🌷🌷
💗 Your work matters, Kyle.
Hey you, so much respect to you :) My bpd hit big time about 5 and a half years ago. I had my own business as a complementary therapist and also worked at a palliative care hospice. I loved it and was so proud of myself :) My bpd became so bad I lost it all. I can never work again and here you are giving us all strength and support. Thank you so much for sharing your personal struggles with us yet still continuing to support us. So much thanks :)
Kyle, you are so wonderful, in your darkest of times, remember your fans, and smile to yourself. Dr. Ho is excellent!
I have BPD and you have no idea how helpful these videos are, I'm literally crying because this has helped more than my therapists. Thank you SO much. You're changing people's lives.
It’s a relief to hear someone talk openly about their struggles with depression. A relief because you no longer feel alienated like you’re the only one with those struggles. I don’t think I have depression as bad as some other people, as I do have good days, but with the recent pandemic, and being unemployed, I’ve had more time on my hands than usual to be distracted by my own thoughts. I also struggle with panic disorder. After an episode I’m usually exhausted the next day, which makes me want to sleep in bed all day, on top of already feeling hopeless. It’s hard not to beat up on yourself when you feel unmotivated and like you haven’t accomplished much in the day. I’m interested in learning more about DBT. I like the idea they brought up of picking one thing from a list to do to help brighten your day up. I think it’s worth a try.
Wow - I see myself so much in Kyle and feel a deep compasion, love and ore for HIM - Feelings and emotions I never would be able to feel toward myself. - It makes me feel so crippled
The way he said "you know what calms me down so fast..." but before he said "... a clean organized house" I thought he was going to tell us some weird deep dark secret
LOL. I'm the same. My brain gets so fried from the depression & negative thoughts that a calm,tidy house to recoup in, is a relief & an escape .
That’s what I was wondering too, especially since he was in his teens. Teens are challenging enough without the trauma of losing a loved one (especially your mother). I wish him peace in getting to the other side of this.
Your description of major episode is so good I’m in one. Just wishing and praying for the willingness to get up and take a shower.
I know it’s been a long time since you wrote this comment but I just want to say that I hope you’re feeling better now & im proud of you.
Honestly? I feel like everything in life all boils down to this ONE fact: do you have a best friend? My Mom was my best friend and my biggest cheerleader and helped me on a daily basis. I feel I did the same for her. When you have this "go to" person in ur life? Day to day life is mutually survivable. For people who lack a best friend? Everyday is challenging. Everything becomes a struggle. As such, I recommend everyone out there who struggles with anxiety and depression needs to actively cultivate relationships that are SUPPORTIVE. Great channel. Great speakers. Good, practical advice we all can benefit from.
Completely agree. My mom was my best friend too now loneliness is a torture
yes exactly, because humans are a social species. people don’t understand that social interaction, more importantly deep, unconditionally loving social interaction is literally ESSENTIAL to living a healthy life (ie a real best friend or multiple), it literally slows aging. we have become so removed and hyper individualistic as a society and as a community based species that is COMPLETELY detrimental to our well-being, individually and as a whole. we simply have not evolved to be able to thrive without the need of genuine connection to others.
Rose I am the mum in a similar relationship with my daughter, you are so right about finding a go to person, someone who offers unconditional positive regard, congruence and empathy in equal measures
Wow, as an intern this was helpful on a professional and personal level! Thank you guys so much for doing this! I'm so glad I found this channel!
This was super helpful. Thank you for your authenticity and vulnerability and Dr Ho for being willing to work in this way for the community benefit !
I love this analogy. the character in pain(me), the narrator telling the story(me) and the audience in attendance watching the play(me).
A different me in a different role at a different level. Know I need the language for each role.
It's crazy to think that I stopped therapy less than a year after being diagnosed with bpd, come to find this video and relate to it so well. I've apparently been applying this therapy to myself without even knowing it once I started taking care of my own mental health. I refused to be on meds after an attempt. I wanted to do this myself after hating myself and feeling worthless for so long, this was mine. I feel so proud to be where I'm at in life right now and now to know that I've been on the right path the whole time
How did you know no meds was the right move for you? It's what i intend on trying first but more therapists don't think that way
Thank you so much for your courage and vulnerability.
I feel like we're unlocking a new potential in humanity. The more we understand ourselves, the better we will be to others. And we all get a little bit better as time goes on. Idk it's just awesome. Thanks for the quality content.
This sharing by Kyle was so relatable. For the first time a light went off
Thank you. I feel this is along the line of “finding a joy” (not be happy, but find a joy in the moment)
My heart broke hearing his story about his mom, wish I could hug you
He's so charming and I can't believe he's been battling or going through this.
Putting a 'front' on it is really common. I do it too. My work colleagues would be shocked to know the real state of my mental health .
He is not a real patient he is role playing. If I am not wrong he himself is from medical profession. They do these sessions for people to learn especially therapist.
@@samiazaffar7096 He's not from a medical profession and in fact a lot of what he's speaking about are really from his personal life. He really is into real estate, for example
He's not... He's acting out a scenario 🙄🙄 aka being a narcissist and insulting people. Videos like these are dangerous for people who have mental illnesses
Depression is so over diagnosed. I finally was diagnosed with BPD and got the treatment I’ve really needed for a long time. I wish I was helped a long time ago.
It really is. I really feel that for the most part, depression is a symptom of something deeper.
Well done for being so vulnerable and open. And coping with all you have going on. And to top it off you're am amazing host. Xx
Real talk which is great! The quote, “put out the best” felt like a double edged sword. Ideal self is so high. High branch on the tree. Come down here with the nice leaves in the middle of the tree. 😀
If someone asked me what they could do for me today I would respond with a blank stare and have no idea.
I agree, no way a client is spilling their guts in this way on a first session.
@@kompaguitarsoloslive7224 he did volunteer to be on camera so I assume he probably knew he needed to be more open
Exactly. And this is what happens to me in therapy. And then I feel incredibly anxious because I am not giving an appropriate response :/
@@kompaguitarsoloslive7224 I’ve spilled my guts on my first sessions, it just really depends on the person i guess
In the first session, I do an intake and therefore, not doing any specific techniques.
14:36 and on really got to me. The analogy of being shot and living with the bullet holes and the fact that no one can see them is SO POWERFUL.
Dude same, chills.
She is so good! I enjoyed watching this very much.
If I may offer some insight/info: I noticed you have dark circles under ur eyes & I had them my entire childhood & up until a few yrs ago when I was having physical & mental symptoms that no dr could figure out why. While hospitalized, a very smart hospitalist had a hunch & decided to run some non-typical labs. He came in the next day & said “found it!” They immediately began treating me for anemia w a compounded iron daily & B12 injections (weekly) INDEFINITELY. I can’t tell you what a change I went through. I became the healthiest I’d ever been & all the mental symptoms left. If drs are merely checking B12 levels, they won’t find it, mine showed within normal levels. Ask for comprehensive labs for anemia. Also there’s a loading period for first 2 weeks I had injections every day & tapered from there to once week. I went from taking several RX’s for anxiety to now only taking a thyroid med. Read up on B12 deficiency & mental symptoms.
This may help some people definitely, B12 deficiency is very serious. especially with vegetarians. However he would have been screened for this, its a commonly performed blood test.
Si vis amari, ama. My B12 showed NORMAL range every time it was drawn. This was a comprehensive lab that found it & I’ll add exactly which one/s here when I find. There’s a book called COULD IT BE B12 by Sally Pacholok that is well worth the read & explains how there’s an undiagnosed & misdiagnosed epidemic of B12 deficiency. I have no affiliation whatsoever & only found the book after my unnecessary lengthy ordeal. th-cam.com/video/OvMxJ6GRBNQ/w-d-xo.html
@@soultosoul6645 Thank you for that info. May I ask what type of anaemia did you have please?
Si vis amari, ama. Autoimmune Pernicious Anemia. It went undiagnosed up until just a few years ago. Everyone was treating symptoms instead of looking for the underlying cause. The very smart hospitalist that cared enough to follow a hunch will forever be in my debt. Doesn’t matter how much B12 is in your system if your body can’t utilize it. Mine can’t due to lack of intrinsic factor. Now I’m the healthiest I’ve been & only on 1 RX. 🙏🏼
@@soultosoul6645 That is very interesting! I wonder if there is a link between Autoimmune Pernicious Anemia and Crohn's disease, because he explains that he has Crohn's? Both are autoimmune diseases, so it kind of makes you think, doesn't it?
Also, to me he looks exhausted - I do not pick up 'depression vibes' from him. This is total speculation, by the way. I don't know him and I thought he was just acting a part when I first started watching it.
Loved, "Use the analogy of people watching a play. And there's the actors in the play, and sometimes there's horrible things going on in the storyline, and then there's a narrator who is talking about what's going on, even the bad storylines, but they're a little bit removed because they're narrating the entire story and they kind of know the beginning and the end. And then there's the audience members who are even on another step more removed because they're watching all of this unfold but they don't necessarily have a personal stake in it.
And I think that there's all of these different levels of who we are. There's a level of us that's like actually the characters experiencing the pain in the turmoil because the storyline is horrible. And then there's a narrator who can take a step back and say okay I'm mindfully observing what's happening and yeah this is a really sad story but I'm not emotionally steeped in it to the same level of the pain that the actors themselves might be experiencing. And then if you back up another level they're sort of the audience which is the audience will always be there. There's different audience members for different plays, they're interchangeable, but in the end they've always been a group that will be there at any show, and that particular piece is the self that has seen you through all of your pain and all of your happy times and remains intact, and nothing happens to it.
That part of you is whole, and understanding that sometimes can help with distressful moments. That there will be a part of me that emerges whole, and there's a part of me that feels broken right now. But like you were saying, there's these different aspects of yourself, and being able to separate out sometimes preserves the part of you that needs to be preserved at a time."
I've noted in watching so many videos how well Kyle presents himself. Not trying to be superficial here, just impressed with how he may struggle yet is able to do it. On my bad days I feel I've accomplished something if I brush my teeth and get out of my pajamas! I've read that so many people are like me, where their appearance starts to be unimportant.
Thank you so much for having the courage to describe this. So educational for me.
@16:42 "In the end [there is a part of me that] will always be here. That particular piece is the self that has seen you through all of your pain and all of your happy times, and remains in tact, and nothing happens to it. That part is of you is whole. Understanding that can help with distressful moments. There will be part of me that emerges whole and there's a part of me that feels broken right now. But there's these different aspects of yourself. Being able to separate them out preserves that part of you that needs to be preserve across time.
"
I have been a clinical hypnotherapist for over 20 years. Having originally studied psychology with the intent to become a psychotherapist, I somewhat pride myself on keeping current with psychological theory and having a broad knowledge of the various schools of therapy that are out there. However, I had never heard of DBT until a client recently mentioned that she had undergone this approach. Thank you, for this video, as it really helps to explain why so many clients come to see me, as well as reinforcing my decision years ago to dump this nonsense for something that actually empowers people.
This was so very helpful. Actually really logical and easy things to do but if nobody ever tells you those things they cannot become tools for overcoming these thoughts and behaviors. Thank you both for this amazing and open session!
I'd like that list of 250 activities
You can find it if you Google DBT Pleasurable Activities. Several sites have downloadable pdfs.
Thank you, Michelle!
'hopelessness and helplessness'. Good term. I do feel DBT is very good for teens/ young adults especially 🌞
It's good for anyone lol. Not just "teens" and "young" adults.
They didn’t say ‘just teens/young adults. They said in particular.
Wishing everyone with a mental health issue and those coming here to help someone they know with one lots of love and happiness.
I can’t help but wonder if Kyle has ever experienced a trauma informed therapy style after his mother’s death during his formative years. The suppression of emotions that have accompanied him could all be tied up in that trauma. Props to him for his vulnerability here I think it’ll make so many people feel less alone. Truly inspiring work.
especially considering trauma informed therapy will guide the individual properly into their body while Kyle had the very physical description of bullet holes in his body yet no one can see him bleeding. lots to unpack there
This does work and has helped me so much. I took meds only but didn't get real relief until i saw a psychologist and went to group therapy, who tought dbt and gave me the tool belt to use. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel ❤ i removed toxic people from my life also. I can now recognize them pretty quickly. Stay away from negativity, especially your thinking patterns. It takes practice but it will change your life. Its been 5 years for me. Do i have it licked? No but im able to get out of my moods now by doing the things that make me happy and accepting what is. If your considering do this....please do ❤
Kyle and Dr. Judy, thank you for this video. I can see how DBT would provide helpful techniques for dealing with my emotional hi-jacks when I get flashbacks of past traumas and abuse. Looking at at my dogs is a good distractor for me as well.
Kyle, you are an incredible source of inspiration for people in my circumstances, your courage with being so vulnerable is incredible, truly a leader
Love that you have been open with what depression has been like. I too lost my mother at a young age and my father lived far away so not really in my life. It effects you in a way we don't fully understand. Depression runs in my family. It is frustrating when you know you could be so productive and helpful to people but the depression drags you down. Meds and DBT can help but still a struggle cause you don't know when it will hit you. A constant battle between logic mind and emotional mind as well has hormones in my case. It also is holding me back financially as I am a nurse and unable to work do to my third burn out.
Having 3 baby's, a long drawn out divorce from a man with narcissistic traits and perimenapause symptoms with a difficult job/boss have been the 3 triggers for 3 differant episodes. Trying to figure out what makes me happy, as little stress as possible, at this time, seams to help. I am trying not to be a people pleaser and make time for me. Thanks for being so open. You are not alone in this struggle and learning process❣
Becky V 💜 💪🏽.... thanks for sharing ur thoughts. I can relate with u. 🙏
This is so helpful! Finally, I understand why DBT works.
thank you kyle, for putting yourself on the spot like this to help us ppl. God bless
As a new practitioner, this video has been invaluable to me. I've learned so much that I plan to take with me into practice. Thank you (watching again).
Thank you for that video and for being so brave, humble and generous ❤️ the content you make is unique and full of humanity
The gun and wound example is on point !!
Omg that depression example sounds just like mine, including self care issues and over eating when things are bad, yet like many such otherwise functioning persons, I eventually pull myself out of the quagmire. But I'm still not achieving the functioning flow that I crave to survive 🦋
something about hearing essentially finding compromise for the emotional and logical side of your mind in those moments was so relieving, I felt like I learned something I’d been missing for such a long time
This is absolutely mind blowing. I want to be a future therapist, how does she speak without stuttering or losing her train of thought.
🤯
She has years of experience.
I never knew how to go about therapy...it’s so cool watching you just killing it❤️
No one is better than anyone else and anyone who thinks in those terms is a covert Narc. We can only give our best and be grateful for who and what we have in our lives. Kyle does not need anyone’s approval other than his own. I have got massive respect for anyone who can bare their soul like he has, and he is doing it to raise awareness. Well done Medcircle for this content and I am grateful for the opportunity to gain further understanding and knowledge on mental health issues. Thank you 👊
I have major depressive disorder and this video was incredibly helpful! I am like u, I know what it's like to have a major bout of depression hit u and not know what to do. I really appreciate these videos.
At the 15:50 mark, you talk about these very strong depressive episodes, and that a key to getting through them accepting that you can endure and survive.
How do you approach this when the client believes that payoff is not worth it. What if a client truly would rather die than have to endure an episode?
I have had the same feelings as your client throughout the years. We have to stay busy doing some sort of class or group that we are truly interested in . An old movie that we watched growing up or keeping a favorite song on replay will help us feel through the hard moments of life.