Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/ & Get FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) HERE: whatrealmenwant.com/
Yesterday, upon spying a tail in our toilet, and with further inspection seeing this tiny, shaking very scared mouse ... this very independent, "icouldacaptureditmyselfand let it go" wife, ran out into the barnyard. Got him off his tractor and together we got the mouse. Let it go. Made him feel like a hero. He had the power. THIS made me happy. Him, too.
My ex partner used to talk for hours and hours taking advantage of my professional therapist ears. One night we went out to dinner, he spoke from the time he picked me up to the time he dropped me off. That’s a total of 5.50 hours (roughly) I spoke, max, for 45mins. At the end of the night we argued about something and he listed all the things that I did wrong. Guess what was on the list? “You need to listen more” 😂 I nearly died.
When mature men like to talk only about themselves on a first date and never ask anything regarding your life, then you know not to continue dating. Move on immediately.
John, read most of your books. Love these vids. You mentioned talk to your gfs when he pulls away and you need to find something you like to do or someone to talk to. The issue I have found is that IF your gf, which most of mine have not yet read your books, they are the last person you want to talk to because they do not understand these dynamics and start to give just the opposite advice you suggest, or, they get too 'masculine' about it and suggest all sorts of aggressive behavior and punishment activites. I have only one gf who has even come close to being able to handle discussions regarding my bf. As an asside, I started purchasing your book Mars and Venus on a Date for my single or newly single gfs to hopefully help them negotiate this new dynamic. Thank you again for your look into the world of relationship.
Why do "your friends HAVE TO HANDLE the discussions you have" with your man? You should discuss the problems of the relationship ONLY with him. And why do you ask what to talk about with your friends? What this has to do with relationships? If you and your friends are too different and you are bothered by that, than find new friends.
Totally agree. My friends, and mother, tell me to do what will not work. A great idea is to give them John Gray's book. Should be given to every bride and even high school graduate.
Just my 2 cents. Make new friends and also don’t talk solely about your relationship with them. Your friends are yours for a reason have your fun, go out, vacation, you are still a person and can have fun just respectful fun considering you are in a relationship. But I totally understand your point. VENUS SUPPORT GROUP I’m on board. 💖💖💖
I can’t believe I came across this tonight. For the first time in my LIFE, I’m 41, I had the thought I was talking too much. I just came into my feminine energy, wow. I NATURALLY don’t ask many questions anymore because I switched energies. WOW!
12:15 That was exactly what I did. I listened to him talk about himself all the time. I was just a sounding board. I had feelings too, but were afraid to say anything "to spoil my chances" in the beginning. It NEVER worked for me. I am alone in my early 70's. Life is NOT good. I figured this out about 10 years ago. Very sad.
Point being, you wasted your time on the wrong guy. John makes it sound like all men were raised right and just have quirks because of a cave man brain. I contend there is a significant portion of the male population that gets spoiled by their mothers and DO believe JUST because they can be the primary breadwinner, life is all about them. Sometimes this gets solved when you have children and suddenly it cannot be about them. I had a therapist who reminded me however, that it isn't about them, it's about YOU. What in your heart made you feel so insecure that you thought you would spoil your chances (as you put it?). I'm 68 and alone too. Just went through a relationship with a man who flat out admitted he had been fired from a job because he had ZERO empathy. I, on the other hand, test off the charts HIGH empathy on the emotional IQ tests. It's been painful to end it, but that was a recipe for longterm misery. Don't give up. Just know what you are looking for. There are lots of older widowers out there who proved they could make a relationship work. In the meantime learn how to love being in your own skin. That kind of confidence can attract goodness to you.
My husband us enmeshed with his mother, she comes first. He pays the household bills and expect in return I do everything else. Clean, cook, run big renovations projects and deal with builders He uses his time to read, travel and play golf I feel like a man!!...I hate it. This is why we are divorcing!!..Men and women need your wisdom..
Dr. Gray rocks. He is the only one ever who talks to exactly my marriage problems: my hudband, myself, & myself. Also, the only one I've heard talk about how men & women's hormones work individually & together.
Thank you Michelle and John, honestly the way you explain all this is so appreciated! Your talking about how men perceive a woman and how apparently men and women think backwards from each other. I realize that men want to feel needed by a woman.....like "What can I DO for you" stuff.....but you are right in that it is a delicate balance. Since it is definitely not proper or acceptable or wise for a woman to pursue a man....I can see that no man is going to act like "What can I do for you?" .....unless he is attracted to her. So it's really up to the man to make the first move...... I guess it's all over for me......since I'm 75.....a widow..(he was the only man in my life 55 1/2 yrs).....I'm still working plus being an Artist.... healthy. Yet, I don't find men my age attractive because they look stoic, sitting around in suits, polished shoes, .......they look and act so TIRED. I'm NOT tired, if you get what I mean ........Bahahahah. But I don't like the lonely feeling. I want someone to talk with, just hang out with, go somewhere with, etc. Again, this day in time, it seems being a widow and age 75 is considered The TWILIGHT ZONE! Thank you for sharing your great insights!.....I must remember "there's always the moon and the stars"...and GOD.
You guys are amazing, thank you. Total facts and truth bombs. No woowoo or fake love and light just pure facts, thank you, the world needs this to go viral.
If women understood this, that when a man does something for her, even something as simple as opening the car door for her, or picking out a nice restaurant or a surprise weekend, etc. Is HIS way of giving and expressing HIS love, (If she loves him) it would definitely trigger the love spot in her heart. Women know men do these things because they love us, but we don't see it as the PRIMARY WAY THEY EXPRESS THEIR LOVE. Any woman will give the man she loves a much bigger, and a more heart felt response of love and appreciation once she realizes this!!!! It would melt her heart.. If she loves her man, it would be almost impossible for it to be any other way!! It's different for women. Let's say, for instance, I'm washing his clothes, or scrubbing a stain out of his shirt or pants, am I feeling love at that moment as a way of expressing MY love?? No, I'm just washing his clothes, it's a job on my to do list, as well as the dishes, shopping, etc. Of course women do these things because we love our husband and children, but it's a responsibility that needs doing, and very rarely would feelings of love well up in our hearts from scrubbing dirty socks. Ha, ha, ha. But when a man provides something for you, on a date or at any other time, what I'm hearing is that it's an extension of himself??? Of his heart??? It's a man's expression of his love for his woman??? Total paradyme shift for a woman to wrap her mind around. Just understanding these things makes me think that maybe it's not impossible for me to understand men. It seems so strange to me that I'm so clueless about men and what makes them tick. I gave birth to one for Pete's sake!!! Thank you for the insight.
Thank you! You both do such a wonderful explanation of what Feminine/Masculine sides are. I never understood my complicated feelings until I had the privilege of hearing your podcast! 😊💕
John, when you mentioned your wife’s reaction when you arrived late to the party, been happy that you were there for her, it really helped me adjust my attitudes! But you were late! She was counting on you! It was something that mattered to her. How could she communicate to you in an effective way that it’s not ok to promisse something and not follow through?
My thoughts exactly Virginia! I have heard this story multiple times and continue to have the same question... If there's something that needs to be done for something to be ready, then I feel there is no alternative but to do it myself. I am wondering what the response would be if she had done it anyway but been really cool about it - would that make him feel less needed and more willing to step up his game? Hmm..
He answered this in another video. As best as I can remember he said to respond positively at first and then later bring it up again. Preface it with something like “It’s not a big deal” (so he won’t feel like a failure and get shut down) then tell him how it made you feel, that you didn’t feel important or cared about by him when you needed his help. Ask if he might do something differently in a similar situation, like call and let you know if he’s been held up. And ask him “What do you think?” Always use the word “think” rather than “feel.” He’ll respond so much more positively and have the option to be more successful in making you happier in the future.
I was wondering the same, it would be polite if he apologizes to his wife for being late and ask if he can do anything to help with the party …. The wife is to then ask oh so happy to see you and asks the husband to go get drinks like he was supposed to and said he would do
Well I’m messed up on every level. All my relationships, partners, friends, family and work. I feel that I have to do all the leg work, I get very little back in return and it’s made me feel worthless.
This is a wonderful talk. I needed this. I'm an Aries woman and I love to chase which is quite masculine and I need to stop it NOW😁. This put me in ✔ and gave me practical solutions and ways to be more feminine. Thank you💖💖💖💖... Listening to this outlined where I need to pull back...I can do it...it's going to take work and undoing if I want to be with a man. If I dated women, wellllll it would fly💯😆😁💪. But I love men soooo, yeah!😏
I'm aries mars and I like men that are independent. I I like to chase because it is some kind of challenge, but in the end it is all about my ego... Actually in order for me to love someone, that person needs to show me and I must be the only one for him. I don't love who do not loves me.
May Allah keep Mr John grey happy he helped alot of people and still helping luv him and wish him stay healthy and happy 😊 😃❤❤❤❤❤❤and thanks Michelle for sharing ur insight also two wise people I like ❤❤🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
This has been such a logical Godsend for me ! I am in a strong growing relationship , and needed to know my way to progress There is an age difference that seems to disappear and it is so pleasing because being a woman or a man is inert in us . Thank you for using principals of our norms of being a woman and man to become closer ☺️ You are both such mentors and good guides for our insecurities and questions of what produces a better self in romance Actually it feels like I am being me tested and tutored by a circle of amazing of older family members who love me Yes it has an element of being loved in the right direction. So again thank you for being such fabulous human beings that are giving and sharing such personal matters to our h arts and minds making the brain work and use positive ways in our communications and love life My very best and gratitude to both of you to whom I subscribe to and John you have been a communication genius for decades in my life My best and my prayers to you both
My husband will come home late and talk and talk shop. However if I say my aunt is in hospice and I start my day, I have to keep it short. If not he will literally walk away.
I would like to know how to tell if a man is interested or just being friendly. If I know what the intention is then I would feel more open to giving a man my attention. It hard to know the difference between the two.
Is it too late if you have given too much already? I've been in a 3 1/2 year relationship. He does listen to me and I've always said those complimentary phrases. But at times I've rewarded him with my time, attention, and sex when he didn't necessarily deserve it. Can I reverse the damage to the relationship, and in what ways can I practice giving less?
Hi Beautiful, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Edward, it would be nice getting to know you,if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends?? Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😊.
I lived that for 28 yrs. I never did enough and if I got something he threw it back in my face forever but would always tell me “I don’t live in the past” if I did the same. Some people are impossible. I wonder if this guy has ever talked about abuse of any kind.
Hector and the Search for Happiness (a movie free on Prime) helped me understand that emotions are a complex cocktail and if you are not willing to experience them at a certain level of depth, you cannot love deeply. Alcoholics (and long term weed users) are not able to dig deep. Stay away from those broken souls and don't think you can rescue them. They have to slay their own dragons first. I disagree with John saying that he meets men who women call narcissists and they are 'great guys'. A first meeting with a Narcissit is a charm offensive on the part of the Narcissist. But I dislike throwing shade or shaming. I call it self absorbed and women do it too. The point being, get to know someone deeply. Be sure you are in touch with what it is you want in a man (and let's not make it all about his being a great provider because some of those are real a-holes to live with).
What if he builds his testosterone too much at work hence not requiring a woman to bond with and when he requires to bring it down, speaks to his 3 sisters hence where does this leave a potential romantic woman? What can she do in order for him to bond with her?
I've been dating a guy and after two dates he has pulled away. I don't think it's because he has lost interest. He sends me good morning text everyday. I'm not going to chase, i'll wait to see if it's the rubberband and he comes back. I'll try the good idea, you are right phrases.
@@kokoskokso I discovered he was more interested in a friends with benefit, not looking for long term relationship although that is what he put in his profile. I told him he was confused and I was going to continue to date while he figured himself out, never heard back from him. 😂
im just wondering ..how can i get to know him better and in a deeper way if its just me who is always talking and not letting him talk that much? U mean like the whole entire relationship it has to be this way?
they say that because they want to appear mysterious. It's a mind-game to get the man to pursue you and in practicality it won't work. All it does is massage the ego and puts the man before you(opposite of what Dr. John says). However, a woman grounded in self-esteem will always be a bit mysterious to a man. She just is and is confident and grounded in her femininity. Being a good conversationalist is a great social skill, and not a tactic to get a man to pursue you. Of course, there is a time and place to listen and not say anything(that is also a mark of a great conversationalist). Unfortunately many dating coaches would be better of helping women have stronger self-esteem rather than telling woman tricks and techniques on how to keep a man's interest.
If a man sees you with your arms full of items and needing help should you have to ask him for help or will a man notice this and just jump in to help?
How do u break the cycle? I feel like he’s doing bare minimum and he thinks he’s moving mountains. So I’m not feeling secure and he thinks I’m not giving him appreciation.
@@Pallas1211 Seriously? No. He's breadcrumbing her. You tell him what you need and if he is unwilling, argues, devalues your feelings or gas lights, you tell him to take a hike. These videos are not for men who are assholes.
Hi Lennox, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Edward, it would be nice getting to know you,if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends?? Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😊.
Here's a question. Would it be okay to tell a guy you hope he drops dead on a daily basis? Or, should I do alternate days? You know, just doing that for awhile until it actually happens.
I have a question ab.dating, and paying for lunch, coffe, etc....because its not só often anymore man "invites". He says lets do this, should i every time propose to share the bill (wouldnt be annoying?), or just keep silent like it would be obvious that he pays? Also bigger issue -if starting to live together how to speak about paying/splitting bills without sounding greedy? Sometimes man do not have iniciative to propose how to establish those questions...or not very wanting to effectuate some payments, share account, resolve question of insurance, will - those last two sound really impossible :D - etc how to speak ab thous questions to fix it without making them feel "pressure" etc....please help, and thanks só much in advance!!!!
I always offer to split the bill. If he accepts, we're done. Just a rule I have. Now, to the living together. Make sure that's something you want and not him. If you want to be married, then tell him that's what you expect before living together. If you indeed want to move together, you have a sit down and ask him how he would like to divide the bills. If he can't handle this sit down, you two shouldn't be together. But, let me go back to what I was saying about marriage. If you live together, you usually have no rights under the law for community property distribution. So, be sure there's an understanding regarding accounts and things you acquire together. Get it all in writing.
@@jacquelinedegruyter5356 saying: you must be very sad for a reason,unknown. feel this unknow. care for the unknown. when he says sth, hear to feel it, no suggestion. because here suggestion means you are smarter.
There's a man in my church who I would love to have a relationship with but he only seems to talk to me when I go up to him and initiate a conversation. He always seems interested in me from a distance and looks into my eyes when we talk which seems as though he's interested. Should I be initiating the conversations or should I wait for him to initiate the conversation at church? Does me always initiating the conversations seem like I'm pursuing him?
How shy a person is he with other people? If he is really quite shy, then you may be helping by getting a conversation going. On the other hand, if he seems to have fairly normal interactions with other people, then maybe he just isn't very interested in you, because in my experience if a guy likes someone he is rarely inhibited about at least walking over to her or being near her in a large room.
Wait a minute .. I'm confused!! This example of showing up late for party at his own house - without doing what was agreed upon to pull of a party - concept. This happy reaction - HOW is that "needy"?? Even a child knows when you overly compliment a drawing that isn't actually good; you are the one that looks stupid. He KNOWS he screwed up - if she's "happy" with that - then how does that create respect for her in turn. How do you call a man on his shit - without being mean, or hurting his pride --- often he is sending a message ?? -- -- Isn't him being someone you can count on -- make him the hero? ---- Guys will OFTEN screw up, or not care, or not show up, etc .. purposely to get you to end it so he doesn't have to. We're just supposed to smile and say "Great, honey, the party started a half hour a go .. you're my hero! " .... There is a lot of great advice here -- but that one is really not a good example. But the core of it -- why do they not do what they promise --- often when it counts the most ? -- --- In general - Men are from Mars, etc .. is rather worthless if HE doesn't read it too.
You're right that it isn't a great example, and it is so short. Why is he late, for instance? Did he get stuck in awful traffic on the commute? (So why didn't he call on the way?) Did his boss keep him in a meeting? (Why didn't he call/text on the way home?) Did he stop by the store to pick things up? Is he terribly absentminded about everything? Is he just a total jerk who doesn't care about his wife at all? There's really a whole range of issues here. If, let's assume, that the husband has been delayed for legitimate reasons and has given as much notice as possible, then the "Yay, you made it! Here, start helping" response doesn't seem so unnatural.
I really need my men i need him so badlly and i want to change so i can communicate with him to do thigs right help with each other creat more business because his only one for me that i know, there's lots of men around but not the one i know,
I think we re in a cycle in which women are from mars and men from venus....how can that be fixed when it s the new normal? Both genders want freedom...and needs are not welcomed...we re in very different times....most ppl need time for LIFE...for joy...for rest... The reason we ve become soo selfish is that we don't have our own needs met: th need of Freedom...need of free time....thenn....share
If you guys can advise me, the guy l've been interested in for 2 yrs and he if very attracted to me but is hit and cold. Now he's been dating someone for 1 yr plus but yet he has been asking me to be fwb, lm starting to cave in and we have been get close and sexually too but yet lm not feeling good because he's doesn't give me much attention or do things. In the beginning l did chase him now l've stopped . I try to talk to him and l don't know what to do. He does very little for me. I also work for him. My feelings are starting to fade because he does give back. What do l do? I've been patience and given lots of space. I care for him alot.
He only wants sex from you, not love. Otherwise he wouldn’t be cold. Once a man is emotionally invested and has sex with you, that’s next level. This one however, doesn’t want to emotionally invest. Take this piece of advice and allow yourself to love someone that wants you too.
Start dating other men, stop waiting for this guy. Look up the Universe Guru’s channel and her concept of rotational dating. As long as you cater to this man and work for him, and ALLOW him to breadcrumb you, you will lose. He should def pay your more, not less. This man will never provide for you and your needs as long as you accept being his “side chick”!
What you focus on increases try to not focus his addiction, instead make yourself happy and be seductive be a girl woman who you were at the beginning of your daring time!! Listen or read the books from Laura doyle
![[UNCUT] The Loyal Pin ปิ่นภักดิ์ EP.4 (4/4)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/d3l5rxl5CVo/mqdefault.jpg)
Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/
& Get FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) HERE: whatrealmenwant.com/
Yesterday, upon spying a tail in our toilet, and with further inspection seeing this tiny, shaking very scared mouse ... this very independent, "icouldacaptureditmyselfand let it go" wife, ran out into the barnyard. Got him off his tractor and together we got the mouse. Let it go. Made him feel like a hero. He had the power. THIS made me happy. Him, too.
Let him do something for you and appreciate it. Don't control him and accept him or move on. Trust him ask things of him to be able to trust him.
My ex partner used to talk for hours and hours taking advantage of my professional therapist ears. One night we went out to dinner, he spoke from the time he picked me up to the time he dropped me off. That’s a total of 5.50 hours (roughly) I spoke, max, for 45mins. At the end of the night we argued about something and he listed all the things that I did wrong. Guess what was on the list? “You need to listen more”
😂 I nearly died.
When mature men like to talk only about themselves on a first date and never ask anything regarding your life, then you know not to continue dating. Move on immediately.
Girl!!! This was my ex.
Dang! This is my boyfriend.
The audacity, ugh!
😂✌🏼Good riddance to him hun
John, read most of your books. Love these vids. You mentioned talk to your gfs when he pulls away and you need to find something you like to do or someone to talk to. The issue I have found is that IF your gf, which most of mine have not yet read your books, they are the last person you want to talk to because they do not understand these dynamics and start to give just the opposite advice you suggest, or, they get too 'masculine' about it and suggest all sorts of aggressive behavior and punishment activites. I have only one gf who has even come close to being able to handle discussions regarding my bf. As an asside, I started purchasing your book Mars and Venus on a Date for my single or newly single gfs to hopefully help them negotiate this new dynamic. Thank you again for your look into the world of relationship.
I agree with this. We need a Venus support group of women who know these things so we can be there for each other.
Why do "your friends HAVE TO HANDLE the discussions you have" with your man? You should discuss the problems of the relationship ONLY with him. And why do you ask what to talk about with your friends? What this has to do with relationships? If you and your friends are too different and you are bothered by that, than find new friends.
Talk to them about it or just hang out with your friends?
Totally agree. My friends, and mother, tell me to do what will not work. A great idea is to give them John Gray's book. Should be given to every bride and even high school graduate.
Just my 2 cents. Make new friends and also don’t talk solely about your relationship with them. Your friends are yours for a reason have your fun, go out, vacation, you are still a person and can have fun just respectful fun considering you are in a relationship. But I totally understand your point. VENUS SUPPORT GROUP I’m on board. 💖💖💖
I can’t believe I came across this tonight. For the first time in my LIFE, I’m 41, I had the thought I was talking too much. I just came into my feminine energy, wow. I NATURALLY don’t ask many questions anymore because I switched energies. WOW!
Hello haw are you
12:15 That was exactly what I did. I listened to him talk about himself all the time. I was just a sounding board. I had feelings too, but were afraid to say anything "to spoil my chances" in the beginning. It NEVER worked for me. I am alone in my early 70's. Life is NOT good.
I figured this out about 10 years ago. Very sad.
Point being, you wasted your time on the wrong guy. John makes it sound like all men were raised right and just have quirks because of a cave man brain. I contend there is a significant portion of the male population that gets spoiled by their mothers and DO believe JUST because they can be the primary breadwinner, life is all about them. Sometimes this gets solved when you have children and suddenly it cannot be about them. I had a therapist who reminded me however, that it isn't about them, it's about YOU. What in your heart made you feel so insecure that you thought you would spoil your chances (as you put it?). I'm 68 and alone too. Just went through a relationship with a man who flat out admitted he had been fired from a job because he had ZERO empathy. I, on the other hand, test off the charts HIGH empathy on the emotional IQ tests. It's been painful to end it, but that was a recipe for longterm misery. Don't give up. Just know what you are looking for. There are lots of older widowers out there who proved they could make a relationship work. In the meantime learn how to love being in your own skin. That kind of confidence can attract goodness to you.
We will know there is equality between men and women when there are popular TH-cam channels about how *men* can attract and keep high quality *women*!
I agree with you greetings from Egypt 🇪🇬
My husband us enmeshed with his mother, she comes first. He pays the household bills and expect in return I do everything else. Clean, cook, run big renovations projects and deal with builders He uses his time to read, travel and play golf I feel like a man!!...I hate it. This is why we are divorcing!!..Men and women need your wisdom..
Dr. Gray rocks. He is the only one ever who talks to exactly my marriage problems: my hudband, myself, & myself. Also, the only one I've heard talk about how men & women's hormones work individually & together.
Thank you Michelle and John, honestly the way you explain all this is so appreciated! Your talking about how men perceive a woman and how apparently men and women think backwards from each other. I realize that men want to feel needed by a woman.....like "What can I DO for you" stuff.....but you are right in that it is a delicate balance. Since it is definitely not proper or acceptable or wise for a woman to pursue a man....I can see that no man is going to act like "What can I do for you?" .....unless he is attracted to her. So it's really up to the man to make the first move...... I guess it's all over for me......since I'm 75.....a widow..(he was the only man in my life 55 1/2 yrs).....I'm still working plus being an Artist.... healthy. Yet, I don't find men my age attractive because they look stoic, sitting around in suits, polished shoes, .......they look and act so TIRED. I'm NOT tired, if you get what I mean ........Bahahahah. But I don't like the lonely feeling. I want someone to talk with, just hang out with, go somewhere with, etc. Again, this day in time, it seems being a widow and age 75 is considered The TWILIGHT ZONE! Thank you for sharing your great insights!.....I must remember "there's always the moon and the stars"...and GOD.
I think I’ll be re-listening to this podcast with a notebook to take notes! Thank you so much!
My ex was an alcoholic. Everything was dysfunctional in my life.
This is a real eye opener to me. Thanks so very much
You guys are amazing, thank you. Total facts and truth bombs. No woowoo or fake love and light just pure facts, thank you, the world needs this to go viral.
I wish I learned all this in my teens
I never understand relationships with man
I got it all wrong 😑
If women understood this, that when a man does something for her, even something as simple as opening the car door for her, or picking out a nice restaurant or a surprise weekend, etc. Is HIS way of giving and expressing HIS love, (If she loves him) it would definitely trigger the love spot in her heart. Women know men do these things because they love us, but we don't see it as the PRIMARY WAY THEY EXPRESS THEIR LOVE. Any woman will give the man she loves a much bigger, and a more heart felt response of love and appreciation once she realizes this!!!! It would melt her heart.. If she loves her man, it would be almost impossible for it to be any other way!!
It's different for women. Let's say, for instance, I'm washing his clothes, or scrubbing a stain out of his shirt or pants, am I feeling love at that moment as a way of expressing MY love?? No, I'm just washing his clothes, it's a job on my to do list, as well as the dishes, shopping, etc. Of course women do these things because we love our husband and children, but it's a responsibility that needs doing, and very rarely would feelings of love well up in our hearts from scrubbing dirty socks. Ha, ha, ha. But when a man provides something for you, on a date or at any other time, what I'm hearing is that it's an extension of himself??? Of his heart??? It's a man's expression of his love for his woman??? Total paradyme shift for a woman to wrap her mind around. Just understanding these things makes me think that maybe it's not impossible for me to understand men.
It seems so strange to me that I'm so clueless about men and what makes them tick. I gave birth to one for Pete's sake!!! Thank you for the insight.
We all need a man similar to John Gray
These conversations with all this information and wisdom are the best ..they are fantastic, thank you so much. Avril
Glad you like them Avril!
What he explained about being open and not picky really worked for me for learning how to recieve!
No wonder I prefer men who is a good listener than a good talker(about himself)! Lol Thank you for great insight
Thank you! You both do such a wonderful explanation of what Feminine/Masculine sides are. I never understood my complicated feelings until I had the privilege of hearing your podcast! 😊💕
Hello haw are you
This is what I'm going through right now...this is helpful cause I have too much testosterone energy and my fiance is a great man but my walls
John, when you mentioned your wife’s reaction when you arrived late to the party, been happy that you were there for her, it really helped me adjust my attitudes!
But you were late! She was counting on you! It was something that mattered to her. How could she communicate to you in an effective way that it’s not ok to promisse something and not follow through?
My thoughts exactly Virginia! I have heard this story multiple times and continue to have the same question... If there's something that needs to be done for something to be ready, then I feel there is no alternative but to do it myself. I am wondering what the response would be if she had done it anyway but been really cool about it - would that make him feel less needed and more willing to step up his game? Hmm..
He answered this in another video. As best as I can remember he said to respond positively at first and then later bring it up again. Preface it with something like “It’s not a big deal” (so he won’t feel like a failure and get shut down) then tell him how it made you feel, that you didn’t feel important or cared about by him when you needed his help. Ask if he might do something differently in a similar situation, like call and let you know if he’s been held up. And ask him “What do you think?” Always use the word “think” rather than “feel.” He’ll respond so much more positively and have the option to be more successful in making you happier in the future.
I was wondering the same, it would be polite if he apologizes to his wife for being late and ask if he can do anything to help with the party …. The wife is to then ask oh so happy to see you and asks the husband to go get drinks like he was supposed to and said he would do
Right. We’re supposed to trust them and rely on them but not depend on them or expect them to be reliable? I don’t get this
@@V.Hansen. that part
Well I’m messed up on every level. All my relationships, partners, friends, family and work. I feel that I have to do all the leg work, I get very little back in return and it’s made me feel worthless.
Awwww I asked him to carry my bags and allowed him too
Usually I do it myself
It’s the small things
This is a wonderful talk. I needed this. I'm an Aries woman and I love to chase which is quite masculine and I need to stop it NOW😁. This put me in ✔ and gave me practical solutions and ways to be more feminine. Thank you💖💖💖💖... Listening to this outlined where I need to pull back...I can do it...it's going to take work and undoing if I want to be with a man. If I dated women, wellllll it would fly💯😆😁💪. But I love men soooo, yeah!😏
I'm aries mars and I like men that are independent. I I like to chase because it is some kind of challenge, but in the end it is all about my ego... Actually in order for me to love someone, that person needs to show me and I must be the only one for him. I don't love who do not loves me.
I also am an aries ♈ rising and i dont like to wait ... if i like a man i tell him right away.. lifes too short for waiting
@@alexaninambv1618 we are similar...ego is a part of it for sure...and challenges are meant to be overcome🙌🤣
@@mariamejia4969 same same. I love, love and know pretty quickly when I like someone
@@mariamejia4969 and some men are so emotionally immature, they take years to figure it out.
Well done Michelle 👏🏽. Excellent interview. Dr. John Gray is awesome.
So much to learn about our different ways but how great our Lord created us opposite from one another ❤
May Allah keep Mr John grey happy he helped alot of people and still helping luv him and wish him stay healthy and happy 😊 😃❤❤❤❤❤❤and thanks Michelle for sharing ur insight also two wise people I like ❤❤🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
This is revolutionary to me. I thought I’d heard it all
This has been such a logical Godsend for me !
I am in a strong growing relationship , and needed to know my way to progress
There is an age difference that seems to disappear and it is so pleasing because being a woman or a man is inert in us . Thank you for using principals of our norms of being a woman and man to become closer ☺️
You are both such mentors and good guides for our insecurities and questions of what produces a better self in romance
Actually it feels like I am being me tested and tutored by a circle of amazing of older family members who love me Yes it has an element of being loved in the right direction. So again thank you for being such fabulous human beings that are giving and sharing such personal matters to our h arts and minds making the brain work and use positive ways in our communications and love life
My very best and gratitude to both of you to whom I subscribe to and John you have been a communication genius for decades in my life
My best and my prayers to you both
I have learned so much about the mind and behavior of a man and woman in two days! Thanks.
My husband will come home late and talk and talk shop. However if I say my aunt is in hospice and I start my day, I have to keep it short. If not he will literally walk away.
Isn't it important for a man to share his feelings about you and match it with action? Surely, that makes you feel more secure and happy?
Great video/call… the content was so valuable. Thanks!
I would like to know how to tell if a man is interested or just being friendly. If I know what the intention is then I would feel more open to giving a man my attention. It hard to know the difference between the two.
He will pursue you if he’s interested. Ask you on a date and be consistent.
Hello Sandra how are you
This truly makes life much easier, lol. More of black & white than grey.
Thank you very good information 👍🏾
Yes ive listen it twice 😎 thank you 🙏❤️
This is a really good book.
What an interesting dialogue! Very helpful! 🤗🤗🤗
Hello Claudia haw are you
What's all this neediness? Be self sufficient and see who comes along.
👍🏾 Right
It has been a fantastic conversation..thank you.Avril
Glad you enjoyed it Avril and thanks for watching!
Is it too late if you have given too much already?
I've been in a 3 1/2 year relationship.
He does listen to me and I've always said those complimentary phrases. But at times I've rewarded him with my time, attention, and sex when he didn't necessarily deserve it. Can I reverse the damage to the relationship, and in what ways can I practice giving less?
I always love to listen with you guys, very interesting topic ... thank you so much for sharing those words
That was terrific! Thanks!
Hi Beautiful, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Edward, it would be nice getting to know you,if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😊.
What if a man does thinks to make you happy, but then complains so many times he does it just for you , so you can feel good/happy?
He’s a narcissist
I lived that for 28 yrs. I never did enough and if I got something he threw it back in my face forever but would always tell me “I don’t live in the past” if I did the same. Some people are impossible. I wonder if this guy has ever talked about abuse of any kind.
Hector and the Search for Happiness (a movie free on Prime) helped me understand that emotions are a complex cocktail and if you are not willing to experience them at a certain level of depth, you cannot love deeply. Alcoholics (and long term weed users) are not able to dig deep. Stay away from those broken souls and don't think you can rescue them. They have to slay their own dragons first. I disagree with John saying that he meets men who women call narcissists and they are 'great guys'. A first meeting with a Narcissit is a charm offensive on the part of the Narcissist. But I dislike throwing shade or shaming. I call it self absorbed and women do it too. The point being, get to know someone deeply. Be sure you are in touch with what it is you want in a man (and let's not make it all about his being a great provider because some of those are real a-holes to live with).
Thanks!
Thank you so much!
Excellent info🙌💞
The second example is what my grandmothers could do perfectly.
What if he builds his testosterone too much at work hence not requiring a woman to bond with and when he requires to bring it down, speaks to his 3 sisters hence where does this leave a potential romantic woman? What can she do in order for him to bond with her?
same question
Apparently, he doesn't require sexual intercourse with a woman.
The sexual tension you bring is not the same energy his male co-workers, sisters bring.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you
I've been dating a guy and after two dates he has pulled away. I don't think it's because he has lost interest. He sends me good morning text everyday. I'm not going to chase, i'll wait to see if it's the rubberband and he comes back. I'll try the good idea, you are right phrases.
Update?
@@kokoskokso I discovered he was more interested in a friends with benefit, not looking for long term relationship although that is what he put in his profile. I told him he was confused and I was going to continue to date while he figured himself out, never heard back from him. 😂
Good choice on your part.
so good!
Thank you :)
My ex told me the song that reminded him of me was You needed me by Anne Murray
im just wondering ..how can i get to know him better and in a deeper way if its just me who is always talking and not letting him talk that much? U mean like the whole entire relationship it has to be this way?
You two are not compatible.. this will be a problem in a long term
His advice on this is just wrong. Conversations should flow in a balanced way.
You are so wonderful!
I appreciate this very much so educating …. A wonderful interview… thank you both…grateful
Why do other dating coaches say to let the man talk?
They say the one talking is the one trying to impress.
I had the same question
they say that because they want to appear mysterious. It's a mind-game to get the man to pursue you and in practicality it won't work. All it does is massage the ego and puts the man before you(opposite of what Dr. John says). However, a woman grounded in self-esteem will always be a bit mysterious to a man. She just is and is confident and grounded in her femininity. Being a good conversationalist is a great social skill, and not a tactic to get a man to pursue you. Of course, there is a time and place to listen and not say anything(that is also a mark of a great conversationalist). Unfortunately many dating coaches would be better of helping women have stronger self-esteem rather than telling woman tricks and techniques on how to keep a man's interest.
They are all wrong. The conversation should flow and be BALANCED.
I give to everyone, it’s my nature 😬
If a man sees you with your arms full of items and needing help should you have to ask him for help or will a man notice this and just jump in to help?
It depends on the guy, but most wouldn't mind helping if you ask politely.
How do u break the cycle? I feel like he’s doing bare minimum and he thinks he’s moving mountains. So I’m not feeling secure and he thinks I’m not giving him appreciation.
Give him appreciation If you want to break the cycle.
@@Pallas1211 Seriously? No. He's breadcrumbing her. You tell him what you need and if he is unwilling, argues, devalues your feelings or gas lights, you tell him to take a hike. These videos are not for men who are assholes.
How can we undo if we already got emotional n wanted to kn where we stand n was acting a fool ?
Please, in easy english, what is a needy man? 🙏
thanks
I know my husband says he wants to help, but he likes to surprise me and as a result sabotages my health. It gets old.
Great
I got it now , I’ve got to flip this on the head then , I want to build him up xx
I definitely don’t like needy
My ex husband is needy
Omg love u book 💕men are really from Mars I forgot a lot great info must go re read book to help myself out of the cutter
Hello
Hi Lennox, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Edward, it would be nice getting to know you,if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends??
Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😊.
Makes sense 🤭😂💖🙏💖
Here's a question. Would it be okay to tell a guy you hope he drops dead on a daily basis? Or, should I do alternate days? You know, just doing that for awhile until it actually happens.
Awesome thanks so much 🙏
I have a question ab.dating, and paying for lunch, coffe, etc....because its not só often anymore man "invites". He says lets do this, should i every time propose to share the bill (wouldnt be annoying?), or just keep silent like it would be obvious that he pays? Also bigger issue -if starting to live together how to speak about paying/splitting bills without sounding greedy? Sometimes man do not have iniciative to propose how to establish those questions...or not very wanting to effectuate some payments, share account, resolve question of insurance, will - those last two sound really impossible :D - etc how to speak ab thous questions to fix it without making them feel "pressure" etc....please help, and thanks só much in advance!!!!
I always offer to split the bill. If he accepts, we're done. Just a rule I have.
Now, to the living together. Make sure that's something you want and not him. If you want to be married, then tell him that's what you expect before living together. If you indeed want to move together, you have a sit down and ask him how he would like to divide the bills. If he can't handle this sit down, you two shouldn't be together.
But, let me go back to what I was saying about marriage. If you live together, you usually have no rights under the law for community property distribution. So, be sure there's an understanding regarding accounts and things you acquire together. Get it all in writing.
@@Bekka241 i
Could I get advice on what to do when a man is grieving
1
Iik had hem zo graag.
@@jacquelinedegruyter5356 saying: you must be very sad for a reason,unknown. feel this unknow. care for the unknown. when he says sth, hear to feel it, no suggestion. because here suggestion means you are smarter.
@@jacquelinedegruyter5356 Wat bedoel je? 🌷
Sure. Be there for him. Ask him what he needs and then do that.
There's a man in my church who I would love to have a relationship with but he only seems to talk to me when I go up to him and initiate a conversation. He always seems interested in me from a distance and looks into my eyes when we talk which seems as though he's interested. Should I be initiating the conversations or should I wait for him to initiate the conversation at church? Does me always initiating the conversations seem like I'm pursuing him?
How shy a person is he with other people? If he is really quite shy, then you may be helping by getting a conversation going. On the other hand, if he seems to have fairly normal interactions with other people, then maybe he just isn't very interested in you, because in my experience if a guy likes someone he is rarely inhibited about at least walking over to her or being near her in a large room.
Wait a minute .. I'm confused!! This example of showing up late for party at his own house - without doing what was agreed upon to pull of a party - concept. This happy reaction - HOW is that "needy"?? Even a child knows when you overly compliment a drawing that isn't actually good; you are the one that looks stupid. He KNOWS he screwed up - if she's "happy" with that - then how does that create respect for her in turn. How do you call a man on his shit - without being mean, or hurting his pride --- often he is sending a message ?? -- -- Isn't him being someone you can count on -- make him the hero? ---- Guys will OFTEN screw up, or not care, or not show up, etc .. purposely to get you to end it so he doesn't have to. We're just supposed to smile and say "Great, honey, the party started a half hour a go .. you're my hero! " .... There is a lot of great advice here -- but that one is really not a good example. But the core of it -- why do they not do what they promise --- often when it counts the most ? -- --- In general - Men are from Mars, etc .. is rather worthless if HE doesn't read it too.
You're right that it isn't a great example, and it is so short. Why is he late, for instance? Did he get stuck in awful traffic on the commute? (So why didn't he call on the way?) Did his boss keep him in a meeting? (Why didn't he call/text on the way home?) Did he stop by the store to pick things up? Is he terribly absentminded about everything? Is he just a total jerk who doesn't care about his wife at all?
There's really a whole range of issues here.
If, let's assume, that the husband has been delayed for legitimate reasons and has given as much notice as possible, then the "Yay, you made it! Here, start helping" response doesn't seem so unnatural.
Great talk, thank you for sharing.
How to appreciate a mam.if he doesnt do anythimg for me...
Wow! 💜💜💜💜
Why do all the examples show a man that doesn't show up? The man in the example is only partially reliable.
I don't think that there will be a problem in getting women to talk more than the man.
Hahahahahahah
I really need my men i need him so badlly and i want to change so i can communicate with him to do thigs right help with each other creat more business because his only one for me that i know, there's lots of men around but not the one i know,
I think we re in a cycle in which women are from mars and men from venus....how can that be fixed when it s the new normal? Both genders want freedom...and needs are not welcomed...we re in very different times....most ppl need time for LIFE...for joy...for rest...
The reason we ve become soo selfish is that we don't have our own needs met: th need of Freedom...need of free time....thenn....share
If you guys can advise me, the guy l've been interested in for 2 yrs and he if very attracted to me but is hit and cold. Now he's been dating someone for 1 yr plus but yet he has been asking me to be fwb, lm starting to cave in and we have been get close and sexually too but yet lm not feeling good because he's doesn't give me much attention or do things. In the beginning l did chase him now l've stopped . I try to talk to him and l don't know what to do. He does very little for me. I also work for him. My feelings are starting to fade because he does give back. What do l do? I've been patience and given lots of space. I care for him alot.
He only wants sex from you, not love. Otherwise he wouldn’t be cold. Once a man is emotionally invested and has sex with you, that’s next level. This one however, doesn’t want to emotionally invest. Take this piece of advice and allow yourself to love someone that wants you too.
Start dating other men, stop waiting for this guy. Look up the Universe Guru’s channel and her concept of rotational dating.
As long as you cater to this man and work for him, and ALLOW him to breadcrumb you, you will lose. He should def pay your more, not less. This man will never provide for you and your needs as long as you accept being his “side chick”!
What's the update on him?
Having a man pay for things is great but if you both are retired and money is limited then what?
Talk more than him
“That makes sense” “good idea” “you’re right” then talk of a memory
How to inspire a man to change when he’s addicted to pornography?
Ask that he go for therapy to get to the bottom of his addiction. If he refuses, move on.
🌷
He won’t change unless he decides to.
Distance your self from him, and try harder to delate his number from your memory
Pray for him and find someone who wants the real thing?
What you focus on increases try to not focus his addiction, instead make yourself happy and be seductive be a girl woman who you were at the beginning of your daring time!! Listen or read the books from Laura doyle
Are men really so childish? I do not believe.
What happens if you are super intelligent and the guy is low average and talks nonsense things just to impress you, but he just talk a bunch of crap?