I felt that too! I feel myself operating in fear so often, and eventually, the happiness gets smaller and smaller. You gotta push yourself passed the fear. It’s difficult, but it’s usually worth it.
When Tarek said he takes his time getting know someone instead of jumping into a relationship so soon, not only does it build trust but is builds FRIENDSHIP! And i personally believe the base/foundation of a good relationship is friendship.💜
Girl reverse that energy and think of having a man that will not stress you out of course no relationship is going to be perfect but understand that you deserve a good man and forget about the loser that you fear being with I had to learn for myself I have to be careful what I manifest in my life
Tbh I think that's fine, if the thought of a relationship is stressful to u rn, u don't have to have one. I think we pressure women to be in relationships too much
@Jalen London Sorry for the late reply, yeah I see what you're saying. It's scary how some people can seem great and trustworthy but be so manipulative. It makes me wary of trusting new people. But I also know it can't stop me from getting to know someone at all, I just need to be as careful as I can be. I guess we can't control the rest, right?
@Jalen London Oh yeah, I guess you could hire a private investigator to watch your partner's actions from time to time if you can afford it. But in general I don't think it's worth worrying about it. I know it's easier said than done :/
Ugh this video hit home. Your attachment styles can really affect the way you operate in your relationships. Fear of abandonment, and rejection being common for me. But I’m in the progress of rewiring my subconscious
as a person who has cheated before (im not going to defend myself) and as someone who has been in therapy for a long time, i learned that i have trust issues from childhood trauma. which is the reason why i did what i did, because the person that i was with at that time either touched me a certain way (it wasn’t in a sexual way), or said something to me in a certain way and I took that as that they didn’t want to be with me anymore. im not saying that it was their fault, it was 100% mine bc I’m the one who cheated and i regret what I did every day.
I totally understand that, And I personally want to Thank you so much for sharing, Bcuz of what you had said, I saw myself doing the same thing. But I too held my own accounbility and I now regrets that I thought he was doing this to me but the hold time he wasn't and I fucked up big time and lost a damn good man, who now making 6 figures, own his own home and driving a mfuckin bentley truck (2021)!!!!!! All the things I listed, You can have all that, But if you not happy and feel like, You ain't worth it and compatible with yourself, Then that shit don't mean a got damn thing. **No your worth** **A man doesn't define who you are**
I love this because it takes a strong person to understand what their weaknesses are and try to fix and learn from them a lot of people don't understand that their childhood trauma molds them into the type of adult that they have become
I feel like my relationship was rushed. And I didn’t really know him. And I didn’t start seeing his true color till after marriage. 😩 I needed this video a few years ago 😭
I feel like people always try to take a person they’re dating and think ‘ok, I have to make this person like me, I have to fit them into the mold the of a relationship I want even though I see the flags that my ideal partner isn’t who they already are’ when dating is the time you’re taking to find out IF that’s what should happen. We should see if we even want someone before we feel like we’re forcing ourselves and them into this picture frame of a perfect relationship.
I feel like sometimes people place certain expectations on relationships in general that don’t need to be there. People can define their own boundaries/expectations. My ex for example tried to change himself for me, when I didn’t need him to do that. I appreciated the things he was doing, but if he hadn’t done them, I wouldn’t have expected them from him, and the relationship would’ve been a lot less stressful on him. I think people really need to realize that our relationships don’t need to fit a certain mold.
Communication is key. If ya'll can't have heart to heart talks and can't discuss things without arguing there's a problem Honesty really helps. Maybe its just physical. Take it for what it is dont settle if you're looking for something more.
This is SUCH good tips. Personally, I don't go for a person until I am feeling good about myself so if I get cheated on, I don't rely ON HIM and get devastated. I just move on easily. Don't stress it with him. ☺️
So it’s all about balance and healthy skepticism. It’s okay to do some background checking on a partner, but also be open to trusting when everything checks out. This was such an interesting topic, thanks Tarek!
I’m not the jealous type so I ain’t worrying about nobody cheating on me or taking my man. Baby if you can get him, have him. I’ll be good, trust! I ain’t looking through no phones or none of that. For what!? If the trust ain’t there then baby I ain’t either ✌🏽
exactly why i’m staying single because before wash fucking stressful worrying about where he at , what he doing , who he texting.... girllll i felt like damn investigator 24 seven of the day. but being single feels so much better trust me i don’t even want anything serious anymore.
It's the not knowing what expectations can be set for me. Just taking it day by day. It takes time and energy, there's a good chance the cheater will get sloppy and then, when you weren't looking for anything, it finds you. And now you don't know what to do, let alone you got far enough into the relationship that you are sharing living space, bills, kids and whatever
i feel as if, if a person is gonna cheat or is cheating, they just need to b single. there’s no reason to waste anyones time. cheating is a CHOICE not a mistake. you knew what you were doing b4 you did it cheated & you knew it was wrong. no reason to make up excuses & lie for a CHOICE you made.
The only thing I would say differently is cheating is not a mistake. Yes, we are human but that doesn’t mean we get to call intentional choices mistakes. There is no excuse for it at all.
@@TarekAli okay cool thank you for the clarification! Side note, I’m healing from my tonsillectomy and although I feel terrible, your video made me smile 💕 I can’t cackle cause my throat sore girl lmaoooo
Cheating is not a mistake. Just like eating candy on ur diet isn't a mistake. Like u said "u kno better" and ur choosing to break the diet just like ur choosing to cheat. U may regret the outcome of ur conscious decision but that doesn't make it a mistake.
This was right on time. Literally going through a break-up now. Five years and I never knew the real her. She showed me who she thought I wanted her to be and recently did a whole 180. Everything was a lie... and she set that sh*t up so pretty for me. I had trust issues before, but now😑.. Never again.
I usually jump into things and I also have abandonment issues. And they never end well. I'm glad after my last extremely traumatic relationship. I've decided to be celibate and also very clear about what I want. I love that you take time to know these boys because we need to realize that we truly are the prize! Thanks TaeBae. Love you 😘
Yo tarek was spitting facts !! A lot of us get into relationships and don't even know who the person is where in tim buck two they come from and we often give into it because the other other person was asking weeks and months for you to be their partner and we commit based of guilt or attraction instead of emotions. Yo this video was need . THANKYOU ❤
Hello Tarek!Its your Internet Mom.lol.I know you don't remember me but You helped Me thru My cancer journey and surgery and you posted my comment o n your ig.I Love you Angel!
Wowwww this video literally came at the perfect time. I was just talking to my friend about boundaries. I also am not the jealous type and, like you said, I'm not mentioning that so as to appear "superior" or anything but it really dictates how I behave in relationships. I told her I see things and may note a few things that may be a little off in a relationship, but I'm not gonna trip or blow anything up unless something serious like cheating actually happens. And if it does, well your access to me will be limited if not rejected until we figure out what's going on. I honestly don't have the mental capacity to worry about what someone is doing, I view myself as the prize too so even if my person does something foul, I'm still good and it won't be a thing to move on.
People are so complex. I feel like the same trust/abandonment issues drive some to be insecure and anxious in a relationship while they drive others to never fully invest in the relationship in the first place (aka me)
I agree with everything but I wouldn't put cheating so simply as a mistake. It's an intended mistake, based on whatever reason, but someone really has to go out of their way to meet another person (not their partner), go somewhere and cheat. It's a series of intended steps and that to me is utter betrayal. I can forgive some things, little white lies and such, but cheating no. I'm also not going out of my way to check on if someone is cheating because I value myself and trust the other person to value me as well, but once I notice the signs or some things don't add up, then you're on your way out. Once betrayed, never again. Life is stressful enough, why add more misery to it? Either we love each other and trust each other or I'm perfectly happy being on my own.
I gladly can say my boyfriend will never cheat on me because he doesn’t play games and is always upfront with me about how he feels. And I do the same. Reciprocate the respect and trust! ❤️
“if he’s a liar” oop this is a sign for my current situation right now girl 😥 i shouldn’t even be worrying about this child since i got class work to finish & he tried to hmu again three weeks before classes end
i don’t worry because i know worry and jealousy will 100% always be a reflection on me and my own insecurities. if there is grounded speculation, i end things and move on, don’t waste time with snooping and mind reading because in the end that’s a compromise of my character.
Yasssss! Speak on it!!! Such an essential piece: taking the time to ensure that the person is someone you’d like to grow with especially in a monogamous relationship
It’s a waste of time worrying about what the next person doing behind you back when the time comes you’ll know signs are always there just follow you intuition don’t even argue just be like I think we should take a break watch them flip 🤣🤣🤣🤷🏾♂️
Your boo is an Aries and it works because as a Scorpio yall are both ruled by Mars, so you have similar passionate energy that is compatible. I'm speaking from experience cuz I have a Scorpio venus and my bf has a Aries venus and its beautiful. Happy for you.
I dont concern myself with cheating if I find out then I handle his ass accordingly but what he does dont have nothing to do with My character thats his problem 🤷 I lived in fear about so many things but not cheating and these days fear is in my rearview Im no longer missing out on life
Loved the video. I don't worry about that. If I would, why would I waste my time by being with them? I'm already an anxious person. I'm not adding unnecessary anxiety lol
All these are very great tips. Also make sure y’all pray too. Go in depth with your prayer so you won’t encounter people who are not for you. It’s very important!
My last relationship was ruined by my ex’s constant paranoia over me cheating. They used their insecurity to manipulate me into shedding my boundaries. They made me lose friendships, they constantly invaded my phone looking at all my messages and my instagram likes etc, they made me hurt other people who were innocent and no matter how much I gave them and how many times I proved my loyalty they were never happy. They constantly treated me like I was cheating and accused me of not loving them and it got to a point of them being emotionally abusive in many ways. 6 years of my life were spent trying to make someone else happy and because of all of that trauma I did stop loving them. I couldn’t even provide during sex because it colored things too much. I had to break up with them last year, and they had the nerve to ask if I honestly ever cheated and I told them no because I really hadn’t. Not to mention the fact that they cheated on me months before we broke up! Like girl I hope you get your shit straight before you ever get in another relationship. If anyone has deep trust issues and insecurities that make them treat me differently I am not going to go out with them period. Lesson learned cuz I ain’t never going down that road again
I haven’t ever seen anyone with a platform talk about this! Thank you! This is already exactly how I feel bc I don’t think about my man cheating at all but it’s so refreshing to see you talk about this!
i LOVED this so so much. my history with abandonment with family and growing up exposed to toxic relationship dynamics created trust issues in my relationships with men which lead me to cheat, go through their phones always, and be soo insecure about little things in fear of being left or played. I love the part where you said, I love to HUMANIZE people, as a cis-hetero woman I've kinda demonized men from childhood traumas but I am now ready to not let fear run my life and fully surrender to God. Trust that, whatever is hidden in the dark will come to light when it's time to find out. ALSO, I've learned you don't need hard core proof for confirmation, your intuition is all the proof you need. I loved this video so much! wishing anyone who watched this more self love, security + peace within themselves
Tarek...I was in a similar situation earlier this year after a year long hiatus from dating/getting to know someone. I saw irregularities and took “Exit 17” bc I wouldn’t want to pursue anything further with a dishonest man.
Omg I needed this word I feel with any past trauma you can get paranoid about who’s doing what and it can take over your life if you let it I’m doing my own healing as well
I think it's important to not overthink things. Like you said we are human. Your partner said they'd be back at 5, things run over a bit don't worry it happens to you too, you just aren't paying attention. They wanted to dress up today because they had the energy to. They said they were going to X Y Z and then change their mind. In my experience, my anxiety always dehumanised my partners, they couldn't make mistakes or change their mind. Loved the video.
As they say.... F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real ...... what you think is always tempting really ain't worth it after its all said and DONE!!!! 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣👋👋👋👋👋....
First, grear job on the CBCF event today. Second, honey I'm with you. Chile, aint nobody got time to be worried about somebody cheating. If you gotta go through all of that or can't feel secure in the space, you gotta let it go. I worked toi hard to get to this level of peace and I refuse to let someone disrupt it. I love me too d@mn much!
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Yes, yes, YES. I am absolutely risen. This video was a beautiful reminder and re-affirmation of so many things my last partner tried to make me doubt. A reaffirmation of all the ways in which I naturally move in relationships and actually like to: Slow and steady -and freeing and without stress. Like, girl- I am trying to make love a home. And I want that home to be a peaceful one. So why wouldn’t I take my time? And why would I want you to stress me out? And me to stress you? I love not having to worry and feel responsible for what my partner may or may not be doing because I know imma do right, and I know that I’m the bomb dot comb. And in the end, if they betray that- their actions will almost always have more to do with them than anything to do with you. Some people fit and some people don’t. Imma trust you until you give me reason not to and that’s that on that 🕊👏🏾✨☺️
Loved this video Tarek! You are sooo right, before dating, it’s our job to do our homework and determine if this is the person for us. If we check to see if this person is worth a relationship then it makes it easier. It’s our responsibility to develop healthy effective communication between each other in order to ensure a safer relationship.
I aways say I wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t wanna be with me. If you feel like your feelings fading, keep it a buck and let me know so I can get closer to the person who is gonna actually love me like love my damn self. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who lie to you because they think they are protecting your feelings. Like mama I’m good over here, always will be. I used to be slightly possessive and get jealous but my intuitions were correct cause my ex was moving around on me. After that experience and some deep healing, i def understand my worth better
i think cheating is kind of like an important topic in the society, especially for married couples these days. But thankfully, my love spells have been super helpful when it comes to securing my partner's commitment in our marriage.
Yesss he is so right. The truth will always reveal itself theres no need to go ivestigating. It will catch up with him one day. But never ignore that gut feeling or the red flags, hes right about that as well💯🙏🏾
I have stress about cheating but not because I don't trust my partner. it's that I'm aroace and don't like doing certain things and everyone seems to think that that means he's gonna cheat and we won't work out. whenever these things get to me, I talk to him and he reassures me and everything is okay.
Tarek could you please do video about dating. I'm really so bad at get to know people and everytime I meet someone new I feel like I have to keep Them even though they are maybe not the right person
Sis, I don't chase NOBODY around trying to see where they at who they talking to 24/7 that's wild to me like I do not mind at all whatsoever who they hang out who they talk to cause I'm supposed to expect my partner to stop living they're life cause they with me WIIILLD I always say I am in a relationship to be with you vice versa but at the end of the day we are two independent people responsible for our own actions with our own goals and aspirations and I am no the keeper of your actions I just expect you as the person you are to keep in mind you have a commitment to me, hun, if you're finna think about cheating let's end it not waste either of our time being trivial and secretive till then and you haven't slipped ur ass up I'm chilling (its not as easy as that but that's the mindset) like nah I don't have the patience nor the energy to be out here being the keeper of no one, trust and communication number one for me and I will not be out here checking phones Ohhhh Helllll Nahhhh (my girlfriends - maya) For me I've never asked for my partner password to their phone cause to me Im like why do I need it if I need to borrow they phone they'll easily give it to me no problem like that's trust and showing there's no ill intent like we all need some privacy and openness in any relationship. You can't be out here digging and digging into who you are with because before you know it you've alienated them and suffocating a person who should be able to enjoy their relationship with you and not feel restricted, like I do know people who like I want the location to your phone so I know where ur at, whaaaaa unless you're out here committed committed like yall out here going to Family Events like then u could ask for that and even that says a lot in itself
“You spend so much time operating in fear, that you don’t get to live in happiness.” Whew Tarek you don’t know how bad I needed to hear that
Truth... just live your best life and remind them, I want you here, I don't need you here, so act like you wanna be here.
I felt that too! I feel myself operating in fear so often, and eventually, the happiness gets smaller and smaller. You gotta push yourself passed the fear. It’s difficult, but it’s usually worth it.
L
When Tarek said he takes his time getting know someone instead of jumping into a relationship so soon, not only does it build trust but is builds FRIENDSHIP!
And i personally believe the base/foundation of a good relationship is friendship.💜
Just growing 💗 up b4 our eyes. So wise,cute and mature! Keep it up Sis!
💋From Austin Texas
Well Said
EXACTLY
“Fear does not stop death, it stops life.”
Now that’s a word 💯
Love this
loooook. they can cheat whether you worry about it or not. live your life!!
If you’re scared of your parter cheating you either need to fond peace or find someone you can trust
I’m scared of a relationship cause I feel like my man gone stress me out n hold me back
i felt this
then that’s exactly the man u will attract
Careful of that energy, sis. It makes me wonder what you've seen that your mental template is stress .
Girl reverse that energy and think of having a man that will not stress you out of course no relationship is going to be perfect but understand that you deserve a good man and forget about the loser that you fear being with I had to learn for myself I have to be careful what I manifest in my life
Tbh I think that's fine, if the thought of a relationship is stressful to u rn, u don't have to have one. I think we pressure women to be in relationships too much
I don't worry about it because it's too stressful. I'd rather let them wear themselves out trying to keep up with their lies. That's my philosophy.
bingo!
Agreed. I think unless they’re a true psychopath, the truth will come out at some point and they’ll only be able to hide it for so long
@Jalen London Sorry for the late reply, yeah I see what you're saying. It's scary how some people can seem great and trustworthy but be so manipulative. It makes me wary of trusting new people. But I also know it can't stop me from getting to know someone at all, I just need to be as careful as I can be. I guess we can't control the rest, right?
@Jalen London Oh yeah, I guess you could hire a private investigator to watch your partner's actions from time to time if you can afford it. But in general I don't think it's worth worrying about it. I know it's easier said than done :/
Ugh this video hit home. Your attachment styles can really affect the way you operate in your relationships. Fear of abandonment, and rejection being common for me. But I’m in the progress of rewiring my subconscious
Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrl
Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrl
I think 🤔 I'm going to type that again......
Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrl
Well Mfuckin Said!!!!!!💕💕
You Said That!!!!!!
It's the, I'm in the process of Rewiring my Subconscious for me!!!!!!!
Love it!!!!!
@@christinemyles6431 thank you love! 💙🥺 it’s rough out here but it’s all worth it in the end
yesssss
The timing of this video is blowing my mind right now.
!!!
Same!
facts
it’s crazy!
this!
The ad placements to let his statements simmer while he sips>>>>>>💀💀💀
as a person who has cheated before (im not going to defend myself) and as someone who has been in therapy for a long time, i learned that i have trust issues from childhood trauma. which is the reason why i did what i did, because the person that i was with at that time either touched me a certain way (it wasn’t in a sexual way), or said something to me in a certain way and I took that as that they didn’t want to be with me anymore. im not saying that it was their fault, it was 100% mine bc I’m the one who cheated and i regret what I did every day.
I totally understand that, And I personally want to Thank you so much for sharing, Bcuz of what you had said, I saw myself doing the same thing. But I too held my own accounbility and I now regrets that I thought he was doing this to me but the hold time he wasn't and I fucked up big time and lost a damn good man, who now making 6 figures, own his own home and driving a mfuckin bentley truck (2021)!!!!!!
All the things I listed, You can have all that, But if you not happy and feel like, You ain't worth it and compatible with yourself, Then that shit don't mean a got damn thing.
**No your worth**
**A man doesn't define who you are**
@@christinemyles6431 thank u for sharing also
I love this because it takes a strong person to understand what their weaknesses are and try to fix and learn from them a lot of people don't understand that their childhood trauma molds them into the type of adult that they have become
Glad you are taking accountability. Cheating is the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. Would not wish it on anyone.
@@christinemyles6431 why did you cheat? I just don’t understand how people can do that to someone. I’m not trying to shame you.
yes mama let’s not ignore the signs! but let’s not drive ourselves crazy also!
I feel like my relationship was rushed. And I didn’t really know him. And I didn’t start seeing his true color till after marriage. 😩 I needed this video a few years ago 😭
I feel like people always try to take a person they’re dating and think ‘ok, I have to make this person like me, I have to fit them into the mold the of a relationship I want even though I see the flags that my ideal partner isn’t who they already are’ when dating is the time you’re taking to find out IF that’s what should happen. We should see if we even want someone before we feel like we’re forcing ourselves and them into this picture frame of a perfect relationship.
I feel like sometimes people place certain expectations on relationships in general that don’t need to be there. People can define their own boundaries/expectations. My ex for example tried to change himself for me, when I didn’t need him to do that. I appreciated the things he was doing, but if he hadn’t done them, I wouldn’t have expected them from him, and the relationship would’ve been a lot less stressful on him. I think people really need to realize that our relationships don’t need to fit a certain mold.
"I'm not telling you to do calculus, but do arithmetics. 2 and 2 don't make 5." come on with the math terminology 😂😂
Communication is key. If ya'll can't have heart to heart talks and can't discuss things without arguing there's a problem
Honesty really helps. Maybe its just physical. Take it for what it is dont settle if you're looking for something more.
Yassssss. Best comment here
This is SUCH good tips. Personally, I don't go for a person until I am feeling good about myself so if I get cheated on, I don't rely ON HIM and get devastated. I just move on easily. Don't stress it with him. ☺️
If you are worried about your significant other cheating, THEY AINT IT SIS.
This might not make sense right now but it will when you find the person worthy of spending the rest of your life with ❤️✨
Or that the person is not yet in a healthy mindset to be in a relationship
So it’s all about balance and healthy skepticism. It’s okay to do some background checking on a partner, but also be open to trusting when everything checks out. This was such an interesting topic, thanks Tarek!
I’m not the jealous type so I ain’t worrying about nobody cheating on me or taking my man. Baby if you can get him, have him. I’ll be good, trust! I ain’t looking through no phones or none of that. For what!? If the trust ain’t there then baby I ain’t either ✌🏽
PERIOD
exactly why i’m staying single because before wash fucking stressful worrying about where he at , what he doing , who he texting.... girllll i felt like damn investigator 24 seven of the day. but being single feels so much better trust me i don’t even want anything serious anymore.
That part
It's the not knowing what expectations can be set for me. Just taking it day by day. It takes time and energy, there's a good chance the cheater will get sloppy and then, when you weren't looking for anything, it finds you. And now you don't know what to do, let alone you got far enough into the relationship that you are sharing living space, bills, kids and whatever
"I'm not saying do calculus, but do arithmetic" I busted out laughing at that. This whole video is a word!!!!
i feel as if, if a person is gonna cheat or is cheating, they just need to b single. there’s no reason to waste anyones time. cheating is a CHOICE not a mistake. you knew what you were doing b4 you did it cheated & you knew it was wrong. no reason to make up excuses & lie for a CHOICE you made.
The only thing I would say differently is cheating is not a mistake. Yes, we are human but that doesn’t mean we get to call intentional choices mistakes. There is no excuse for it at all.
oh NEVER an excuse, just an explanation! No matter the situation, if you cheat , you are wrong!!
@@TarekAli okay cool thank you for the clarification! Side note, I’m healing from my tonsillectomy and although I feel terrible, your video made me smile 💕 I can’t cackle cause my throat sore girl lmaoooo
Cheating is not a mistake. Just like eating candy on ur diet isn't a mistake. Like u said "u kno better" and ur choosing to break the diet just like ur choosing to cheat. U may regret the outcome of ur conscious decision but that doesn't make it a mistake.
This was right on time. Literally going through a break-up now. Five years and I never knew the real her. She showed me who she thought I wanted her to be and recently did a whole 180. Everything was a lie... and she set that sh*t up so pretty for me. I had trust issues before, but now😑.. Never again.
I usually jump into things and I also have abandonment issues. And they never end well.
I'm glad after my last extremely traumatic relationship. I've decided to be celibate and also very clear about what I want. I love that you take time to know these boys because we need to realize that we truly are the prize!
Thanks TaeBae. Love you 😘
It’s all fun and games until you find out they actually are cheating 🥴😂 this why I love being single LOL
What I say! Team single baby and living LIFE!
Fr
Yo tarek was spitting facts !! A lot of us get into relationships and don't even know who the person is where in tim buck two they come from and we often give into it because the other other person was asking weeks and months for you to be their partner and we commit based of guilt or attraction instead of emotions. Yo this video was need . THANKYOU ❤
"you gotta heal, you need peace" so simple, so true and effective!
This shit GOT ME TOGETHER!!!! Based on things that happened previously, I was caught tf in worrying. Not anymore. Life goes on!
Hello Tarek!Its your Internet Mom.lol.I know you don't remember me but You helped Me thru My cancer journey and surgery and you posted my comment o n your ig.I Love you Angel!
i do remember you are you crazy!!! so happy to see your face in my comments again omg!!!!
I'll be here again from now on.Ive missed you so long.
Wowwww this video literally came at the perfect time. I was just talking to my friend about boundaries. I also am not the jealous type and, like you said, I'm not mentioning that so as to appear "superior" or anything but it really dictates how I behave in relationships. I told her I see things and may note a few things that may be a little off in a relationship, but I'm not gonna trip or blow anything up unless something serious like cheating actually happens. And if it does, well your access to me will be limited if not rejected until we figure out what's going on. I honestly don't have the mental capacity to worry about what someone is doing, I view myself as the prize too so even if my person does something foul, I'm still good and it won't be a thing to move on.
"i view myself as the prize" periodddt sis
People are so complex. I feel like the same trust/abandonment issues drive some to be insecure and anxious in a relationship while they drive others to never fully invest in the relationship in the first place (aka me)
It’s also the “They don’t make these in stores...I’m not sitting on the shelf” for me😃
HUNNNIII MY RELATIONSHIP IS GOING WELL BUT HUNNI IM TUNED IN FOR THIS MOVIE PRODUCTIONNNNNN ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
I agree with everything but I wouldn't put cheating so simply as a mistake. It's an intended mistake, based on whatever reason, but someone really has to go out of their way to meet another person (not their partner), go somewhere and cheat. It's a series of intended steps and that to me is utter betrayal. I can forgive some things, little white lies and such, but cheating no. I'm also not going out of my way to check on if someone is cheating because I value myself and trust the other person to value me as well, but once I notice the signs or some things don't add up, then you're on your way out. Once betrayed, never again.
Life is stressful enough, why add more misery to it? Either we love each other and trust each other or I'm perfectly happy being on my own.
I gladly can say my boyfriend will never cheat on me because he doesn’t play games and is always upfront with me about how he feels. And I do the same. Reciprocate the respect and trust! ❤️
I needed this T 😭 This was such a refreshing topic to touch on. Wheww thank you.
Wowwwwww the way this was the therapy session I needed literally thank you you have no idea
Oof, hard but necessary truths to hear.
Let the church say AMEN!! This word ran deep today ❤️❤️
That intro was everything! It's the "Girl, you gotta heal" part for me 😂🤣
“if he’s a liar” oop this is a sign for my current situation right now girl 😥 i shouldn’t even be worrying about this child since i got class work to finish & he tried to hmu again three weeks before classes end
his reasonings for what happened is mad sus too and doesn’t match up
If you feel like he is not trustworthy, then trust your gut and intuition 🙏🏾
@@kah023 you’re right and i will 🥺 thank you so much. i’ll keep you updated 🙏🏽
That’s “Exit 17” for you girl, go on ahead and take that right turn home.
@@mncedisingcobo4 literally, i need to get back home from school too now 😪
Baby I don’t worry about it cause god shows you everything you NEED to see child it’s too much I could never 🤡😂
i don’t worry because i know worry and jealousy will 100% always be a reflection on me and my own insecurities. if there is grounded speculation, i end things and move on, don’t waste time with snooping and mind reading because in the end that’s a compromise of my character.
Yasssss! Speak on it!!! Such an essential piece: taking the time to ensure that the person is someone you’d like to grow with especially in a monogamous relationship
Omg I needed this today 😫😫😫we didn’t do the math smh
Period “they don’t make these in stores this is valuable”😂💕imma start saying that Tarek
Right?? Love it! Saved that for later!
It’s a waste of time worrying about what the next person doing behind you back when the time comes you’ll know signs are always there just follow you intuition don’t even argue just be like I think we should take a break watch them flip 🤣🤣🤣🤷🏾♂️
i come back to this video when i need the reminder to choose myself and my peace. thanks again
Your boo is an Aries and it works because as a Scorpio yall are both ruled by Mars, so you have similar passionate energy that is compatible. I'm speaking from experience cuz I have a Scorpio venus and my bf has a Aries venus and its beautiful. Happy for you.
Makes so much sense! I'm a Scorpio and my man is an Aries ♍️♈️
I dont concern myself with cheating if I find out then I handle his ass accordingly but what he does dont have nothing to do with My character thats his problem 🤷 I lived in fear about so many things but not cheating and these days fear is in my rearview Im no longer missing out on life
Loved the video. I don't worry about that. If I would, why would I waste my time by being with them? I'm already an anxious person. I'm not adding unnecessary anxiety lol
Seriously, live in the moment. If they do just know it wasn’t because of you. Be confident!
Babyyyy this was for me!!!! I’m literally stress tf out with no kids! 😩😩 Thank you 🙏🏾 😊
This is giving me Iyanla Vanzant / Madea wisdom tease and I’m here for it!
All these are very great tips. Also make sure y’all pray too. Go in depth with your prayer so you won’t encounter people who are not for you. It’s very important!
My last relationship was ruined by my ex’s constant paranoia over me cheating. They used their insecurity to manipulate me into shedding my boundaries. They made me lose friendships, they constantly invaded my phone looking at all my messages and my instagram likes etc, they made me hurt other people who were innocent and no matter how much I gave them and how many times I proved my loyalty they were never happy. They constantly treated me like I was cheating and accused me of not loving them and it got to a point of them being emotionally abusive in many ways. 6 years of my life were spent trying to make someone else happy and because of all of that trauma I did stop loving them. I couldn’t even provide during sex because it colored things too much. I had to break up with them last year, and they had the nerve to ask if I honestly ever cheated and I told them no because I really hadn’t. Not to mention the fact that they cheated on me months before we broke up! Like girl I hope you get your shit straight before you ever get in another relationship.
If anyone has deep trust issues and insecurities that make them treat me differently I am not going to go out with them period. Lesson learned cuz I ain’t never going down that road again
i feel like he’s my grandpa and i mean that in the most sincere way. he’s very wise with his words and the way he carries himself idkk i love it 🥲💞💞💞
I ADMIRE THE WAY YOU THINK I CANT GET ENOUGH. you are so insightful
I haven’t ever seen anyone with a platform talk about this! Thank you! This is already exactly how I feel bc I don’t think about my man cheating at all but it’s so refreshing to see you talk about this!
i LOVED this so so much. my history with abandonment with family and growing up exposed to toxic relationship dynamics created trust issues in my relationships with men which lead me to cheat, go through their phones always, and be soo insecure about little things in fear of being left or played. I love the part where you said, I love to HUMANIZE people, as a cis-hetero woman I've kinda demonized men from childhood traumas but I am now ready to not let fear run my life and fully surrender to God. Trust that, whatever is hidden in the dark will come to light when it's time to find out. ALSO, I've learned you don't need hard core proof for confirmation, your intuition is all the proof you need. I loved this video so much! wishing anyone who watched this more self love, security + peace within themselves
Tarek...I was in a similar situation earlier this year after a year long hiatus from dating/getting to know someone. I saw irregularities and took “Exit 17” bc I wouldn’t want to pursue anything further with a dishonest man.
Not “ you working 3 jobs” and only getting paid for 1.. sheesh. Bless y’all hearts.
your voice and words are so healing. it makes me feel good
i keep coming back this vid is gold. we need a podcast or suttin,
Omg I needed this word I feel with any past trauma you can get paranoid about who’s doing what and it can take over your life if you let it I’m doing my own healing as well
I recommend this to all in relationships already!!
i was so confused when he started off with "im a scorpio" AND "ion worry about cheating" i was like i- how??
I def needed this!! Worrying about something that hasn't even or has no signs of happening. Thank you
I think it's important to not overthink things. Like you said we are human. Your partner said they'd be back at 5, things run over a bit don't worry it happens to you too, you just aren't paying attention. They wanted to dress up today because they had the energy to. They said they were going to X Y Z and then change their mind. In my experience, my anxiety always dehumanised my partners, they couldn't make mistakes or change their mind. Loved the video.
Repeat after him y’all:
I AM a PRIZE
As they say.... F.E.A.R.
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
...... what you think is always tempting really ain't worth it after its all said and DONE!!!! 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣👋👋👋👋👋....
“He’s a good man Savannah, a good man” 🤣🤣🤣
Tarek just knows how to do life!
First, grear job on the CBCF event today. Second, honey I'm with you. Chile, aint nobody got time to be worried about somebody cheating. If you gotta go through all of that or can't feel secure in the space, you gotta let it go. I worked toi hard to get to this level of peace and I refuse to let someone disrupt it. I love me too d@mn much!
The crazy thing is I had this video in my watch later for almost a whole year and I'm now watching it and I'm glad I did
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Yes, yes, YES. I am absolutely risen. This video was a beautiful reminder and re-affirmation of so many things my last partner tried to make me doubt. A reaffirmation of all the ways in which I naturally move in relationships and actually like to: Slow and steady -and freeing and without stress.
Like, girl- I am trying to make love a home.
And I want that home to be a peaceful one.
So why wouldn’t I take my time?
And why would I want you to stress me out? And me to stress you?
I love not having to worry and feel responsible for what my partner may or may not be doing because I know imma do right, and I know that I’m the bomb dot comb.
And in the end, if they betray that- their actions will almost always have more to do with them than anything to do with you.
Some people fit and some people don’t. Imma trust you until you give me reason not to and that’s that on that
🕊👏🏾✨☺️
Loved this video Tarek! You are sooo right, before dating, it’s our job to do our homework and determine if this is the person for us. If we check to see if this person is worth a relationship then it makes it easier. It’s our responsibility to develop healthy effective communication between each other in order to ensure a safer relationship.
Whew !!!! This is about to be what i need
I used to worry. But then I realized people are going to do what they want either way. 🤷🏾♀️
I aways say I wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t wanna be with me. If you feel like your feelings fading, keep it a buck and let me know so I can get closer to the person who is gonna actually love me like love my damn self. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who lie to you because they think they are protecting your feelings. Like mama I’m good over here, always will be. I used to be slightly possessive and get jealous but my intuitions were correct cause my ex was moving around on me. After that experience and some deep healing, i def understand my worth better
thank you for checking me, its nice to hear to the straight up truth (tough as it is) in order to work through and heal from the past
Can you talk specifically about the talking stage? Like how you should treat each other and stuff like that
Yasss. Tarek took us to church, he brought the word to us this Sunday. Thank you :)
Im not with anyone but if you have to worry about your significant other cheating. LEAVE they asz!!!
i think cheating is kind of like an important topic in the society, especially for married couples these days. But thankfully, my love spells have been super helpful when it comes to securing my partner's commitment in our marriage.
Yesss he is so right. The truth will always reveal itself theres no need to go ivestigating. It will catch up with him one day. But never ignore that gut feeling or the red flags, hes right about that as well💯🙏🏾
the last three categories..WOO i sometimes get paranoid out of NOWHERE and i just NEED to hear that
I really share the same sentiment 🙌🏾💕 Thanks for this Sunday evening word 🙏🏾
I have stress about cheating but not because I don't trust my partner. it's that I'm aroace and don't like doing certain things and everyone seems to think that that means he's gonna cheat and we won't work out. whenever these things get to me, I talk to him and he reassures me and everything is okay.
Tarek could you please do video about dating. I'm really so bad at get to know people and everytime I meet someone new I feel like I have to keep Them even though they are maybe not the right person
Do some shadow work You may be getting attached for reasons that have nothing to do with the person
We are best friends in my head 😩😂 , this message is exactly what I tell my friends and family.! Love your videos
i’m about to cry. i needed this,
Me after every word Tarek says: SPEAK TAREKKKK!! 😫 🗣
Sis, I don't chase NOBODY around trying to see where they at who they talking to 24/7 that's wild to me like I do not mind at all whatsoever who they hang out who they talk to cause I'm supposed to expect my partner to stop living they're life cause they with me WIIILLD I always say I am in a relationship to be with you vice versa but at the end of the day we are two independent people responsible for our own actions with our own goals and aspirations and I am no the keeper of your actions I just expect you as the person you are to keep in mind you have a commitment to me, hun, if you're finna think about cheating let's end it not waste either of our time being trivial and secretive till then and you haven't slipped ur ass up I'm chilling (its not as easy as that but that's the mindset) like nah I don't have the patience nor the energy to be out here being the keeper of no one, trust and communication number one for me and I will not be out here checking phones Ohhhh Helllll Nahhhh (my girlfriends - maya) For me I've never asked for my partner password to their phone cause to me Im like why do I need it if I need to borrow they phone they'll easily give it to me no problem like that's trust and showing there's no ill intent like we all need some privacy and openness in any relationship. You can't be out here digging and digging into who you are with because before you know it you've alienated them and suffocating a person who should be able to enjoy their relationship with you and not feel restricted, like I do know people who like I want the location to your phone so I know where ur at, whaaaaa unless you're out here committed committed like yall out here going to Family Events like then u could ask for that and even that says a lot in itself
Honestly Tarek you’re the best, your talk sessions are so soothing I just be living my best life with you playing loud in my ears
What do you do to keep your skin so beautiful and healthy??? 😍
Im so glad I watched this video. It was an eye opener for me. I never realized how damaged I was based off of by past. Thanks Tarek 💜