Very true. Entered a long term relationship when I was 19, it ended and I realized how much time was lost finding and doing things for myself. Now I’m getting back to it and I’ve worked on self love, my career, and figuring out my identity. Doing this on my own has been empowering :)
@kshamwhizzle I understand what you’re saying. I would add however, that familial experiences, trauma, etc can hinder someone’s ability to truly connect with themselves, especially if they seek stability through relationships. There are many perspectives to this issue, so I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way. :)
@kshamwhizzle I can understand where you’re coming from. I personally just try to avoid making a judgement on people’s choices because I can’t assume I always know the intention behind them hopping in and out of relationships. But anyway, the world goes on :p
I get what you mean. We may not get to spoil ourselves everyday with everything else we may have going on so once in a while we need to find time to do so.
Being single and being happy to be single is a whoooole different vibe lol it’s honestly the best feeling, relationships aren’t the cure. Self love is the cure!
First off: the apartmnet is looking CUTE! Next: this video is so important. We are sold this idea of happily ever after with someone else and that a relationship will fill a void that we all feel. When really this ‘void’ will be filled by understanding yourself and meeting your own needs then meeting someone who can ADD to your peace. Not take away from it.
V King LOL like everyone thinks your spouse/partner is suddenly supposed to cure every bad feeling you have. I think it’s unfair to assume that your partner is ONLY there for your pleasure/purpose and not to actually live their own lives with you as a part of it. I hope things get better for you!
I love how he says sorry and that he sounds selfish, but no honey, 95% of people feel this way but only the real ones actually put in the effort to figure themselves out before having to figure out someone else. I love when he said “I wanna give my mature self to someone else” I felt that so much! No one is perfect but I’m not trying to crash into someone’s life like a drunk driver, I want to be able to mentally process and understand myself so I am able to be there for the both of us...
" Everywhere you eat you be paying for two, it's like your pregnant. I am not trying to pay for me and you" LMFAO that statement gave big Mr. Crabs energy I am geeking.
As a gay male who is 60, I am tearfully happy at how you (along with some others) are giving people permission to be authentically themselves by being yourSELF. I claim you as my grandson (lovingly. Please continue on your path and thanks for taking us (especially we who are older) along on your beautiful journey. p.s. You are drinking my favorite St. Germain
I'm 20 and have been in a relationship for almost 2 years now. The thing is: A healthy relationship should be treated like a nice bonus. A thing that adds to your life. It shouldn't be seen as a necessity or something that hinders or traps you. I think many people nowadays see "exclusive" relationships as a "trap". And I'm sorry to break it to you, if you feel like that if you're in a relationship, either your mindset or the relationship itself is unhealthy. I love my boyfriend and don't want to leave him, but if it happens I know that I'll still have a fulfilling and happy life. He makes me happy, but I could also live a happy life without him because I have so many things outside of our relationship that make life worth living. Your relationship shouldn't ever, at no point in your life, be the only thing you put all your focus on. Don't put all your energy into one thing, because if it doesn't work out you're left with nothing and you wasted your time. Also, don't stay with people that drag your energy down. Stay with people that lift you up. I don't even know why people stay in relationships where they are constantly arguing and fighting with their significant other. Like, it's obviously not working out, stop trying to make it work. Arguments are normal if you have them from time to time, but they shouldn't occur regularly. That stuff messes with your energy.
This is true. The reason why I'm single is because I don't want to feel "trapped". Relationship is give and take. I don't want to be in relationship just to find it's a burden instead of relish on it
Build in your career, party and attend as much functions as u want, travel a lot, eat good! Date when u want, entertain those "relationships" when u want. Enjoy your 20's!!
Lol I'm 27 and still feel this way. I'm focusing my energy on myself. I value my peace and solitude honey. Don't feel like prioritizing yourself is selfish because it isn't ❤️
I’m 27 too and I’ve never been in a relationship. While it’d be nice to have someone, it’s even more nice to focus on myself and what it is that I want. 😌
@@DanielleP0314 omg my PEOPLE!!! Same here lol. Being in a relationship where I'm anything less than so happy to be with that person sounds like a nightmare. I know what I value, want and need and I won't settle.
Single life is the best life! I just graduated college, ended things with my partner, moved across the country, and started grad school and it is so nice to do whatever I want whenever I want. As a fellow 22 year old, I can confirm it is a great age to be single
I'm 20 now and I don't feel the need to be in a relationship it seems time consuming I already have college going on& I've always been single I'm okay w/being alone sometimes I may crave intimacy or relationship at moments it cute soI see your point I also feel like entertainment & social media really add to a yearning for a relationship because you see other people and you think that oh that's nice a wanna do that but it erases all of the downsides like arguing etc cuz you only see the positive, also I want this shirt you have on Tarek it's nice
People (in my case older family) think relationships are the same as if they were growing up. The argument I hear the most is “don’t you want to grow with someone”..... Like no, can’t I figured my shit out first? Can I graduate? Can I get financially stable first?😭😂👏🏾
i know right! the way people are now is so much different from before and honestly relationships aren't that appealing anymore, i just want money and a stable life and mental health
@@Mimi-lw8ev Okay. so I'm not not an expert whatsoever but i'm gonna give you my opinion based on what I've been learning over the years, so ! Being an Aries Sun and Scorpio Rising I'd say that you are probably a very goal oriented person, that you know what you want, you are basically never ever gonna give up on whatever your are after in life. If you want something you're gonna go after it but the tricky thing is your are a very impatient person, you're gonna want everything right away PLUS being a PISCES moon you're gonna be very passionate about what you want, you're not gonna do something that doesn't feel right, you're gonna want something that resonates with you. Based on the Aries Sun people I've met, you are a social butterfly... BUT only with people you value, you're don't associate yourself with just anybody ! And if you don't like someone and/or you feel that something's off about this person (Pisces moon influence) you're not gonna shy away from making it obvious to them. You are overall pretty good friends, RIDE OR DIE kinda friends. However if you get betrayed by anybody you don't hesitate from erasing them from your life, no matter how much pain it might cause you let them go. On the Love side you probably want someone that's gonna be as driven as you are, someone who can stand up to you, someone with a good sense of who they are, someone with a lot of character. However you want someone who can be very very patient with you, someone who's gonna be very understanding, someone you can lean on when you're tired of doing all the heavy lifting. Your venus in Pisces just goes to show that you wanna be loved that way, that you like romantic gestures even though you don't wanna admit to yourself. Please tell me if I did any good !!??😬
My preferences are staying put. When I put my preferences to the side, I end up with an undesirable person. I’m fine alone until someone meets the set standards. No one has time for trial holiday gifts!
this video was refreshingly honest. as a 23 year old who is also navigating post-grad life and overall just trying to be a mentally/emotionally balanced person, i really relate to you talking about the need to be alone in order to get to know yourself first. early 20's/post-grad is a time of huge transformation!! it is so healthy and necessary to learn how to be free and in touch with your true self.
Young brotha, I’m in my 30’s. Keep that mentality. You will go far 😂. I’m soooo glad I’m not married or have kids especially with COVID going on. A few females tried to lock me down but, NOPE 😂.
I clicked so fast because I just got out of a long term relationship and trying to readjust to being single again has been tough for me because I’m so dependent on having someone around when I should learn how to love to be by myself and it’s okay to be alone sometimes..thank you tarek ❤️
Same!! Coming out of a 3 year relationship and wanting to celebrate being Single again ❤️🎉 even though I feel the transition phase is kind of difficult.
I'm really struggling to leave a relationship right now, because I'm compromising my morals and values staying in that relationship, but I also just want someone to really care about me and grow old with me. But that video kinda helped me to want to distance myself from that person and invest more time in me and other people ,so I can have the feeling again of being okay without that person
I remember when I was first separated from my ex husband, I met him when I was 19, married at 20, and left him shortly after turning 21. I was single and celibate for two whole years because I needed all that time to be selfish to myself lol
I'm 20 right now and I'm in a relationship, but I'm really happy with my partner. We started this relationship almost 3 years ago and after 7 - 8 months he broke up with me, and it was the best thing that could have happened to me. He was my first boyfriend and I haven't had much experience and I started to lose myself in this relationship and I was sooo clingy. Like everything I wanted to do, I wanted to do it with him. And that also had his impact on the relationship. I didn't really noticed this until he broke up with and then I really had time to just focus on myself, do things for myself and develop myself. 6 months later, we started talking again and be eventually came back together, but this time the relationship is so much more chill, since we both had the time so work on ourselves and figure out what issues we had. With that said, I don't think, that breaking up was the only option in that situation, but it really helped me to open my eyes.
" I. want. to. buy. me. shit" LISSENN this is the point I'm at right now in life. Been in a relationship for 10+ years, I'm single now. Going to a friend's wedding next week, traveling by myself. I'm in the process of buying my first home, I'm 27. I'm nervous as all hell, terrified even, but I can't wait to take this time to grow, live, learn, & love myself fully. thank you Tarek
You’re not ready to compromise but that’s ok. Being 38 I can look back and say at your age just do you man. The potential for relationships will always be there
I love this videos because a lot of time people are worried about being in a relationship. They have this timeline in their head but forget to take the time to get to know & learn about themselves. Keep it coming, I love these videos from you.
Being Selfish is important, I feel like people will bend they back (and not it a good way) for other people and lose focus on themselves. I feel like i do this alot, and it’s definitely one of my toxic traits. You will be so worried about other people happiness, but forget about your own. Being Selfish is actually a good thing, and i think its something that people should embrace more. Be stingy with your love, and put in places that make you happy weather that be food (lol), a new relationship or a fresh start with your self. Being selfish is definitely easier said than done. lol
Honestly, when you're 22 -- or any time in your 20's -- that is when you should spend time 'in a relationship with yourself'. It's like a second (or more) term of getting to know and understand yourself. Then, when you have a pretty good grip on your own core identity (your 'foundation' as it were) you have a solid platform to handle other people. Which is a really good thing to have going into ANY relationship! :D (Speaking as a thirty-something, it proooobably decompresses the need to do some of the things you mention as kind of social pressures You Must Do as one in a relationship.) Super glad to hear you're figuring things out and putting the work into 'you'! :D
You’re not being selfish. Maximize your singleness to the fullest! Know your worth & just don’t settle for less. Focus on yourself! Love will come to you when you least expect it, & God has a plan for each and one of us.
I'm 32 and haven't been single for the past 14 years. Only recently I realised that I have completely lost myself in other people. I'm struggling to figure out what is it that I really want because I'm so used to people - pleasing. I wish I had seen this video when I was a teen or even in my early 20s....
I agree with you, there is nothing like being single and free. Mind you there are those times where you just want to put your arm around someone laying/ sitting next to you.
my scorpio ass loves being alone, i’ve been single since i came out the womb and honestly i love it. i spoil myself too much because i have so much freedom and don’t have to compromise at all, gurl a whole ass blessing
“...And then boom! I’m back to buying me gifts” Yes! someone who gets it. Tarek you were On in this video, I loved every minute. You’re willing to put in the work on yourself first which is priority.
"I am 22, but I haven't been myself for 22 years" - spoke to me on a deeper level. Especially the aspects of anxiety and wanting to put in effort in your own journey were good points! And also...making compromises is so draining 😂 Thank you for sharing this! 💪🏼
You're absolutely right. So often too many young people rush to be grown and in a relationship and don't take time to get to know themselves. Your 20s is a time to know you without your parents. A time to explore the world and your passions. A time to get comfortable with your finances and learning how to handle them and a time to have fun without being tied down. So you go and live your life and get to know you.
I've been single since my ex (full spectrum relationship) left me for another person. I've talked to people but now I'm just focusing on me. Something ive noticed since our breakup was how in the relationship with her I thought it would be impossible to be alone. She would be the one advocating how much she loves being alone and how she needed to be alone. But now I see that she's just been jumping from relationship to relationship before me and after me and it reminded me to slow down. I don't want kids. I don't want a partner. Maybe just a cute fling or something but I can't believe I almost got married so young. I don't wanna waste my life away then be bitter with resentment seeing my children be free.
That's not healthy either. If you're in a healthy relationship you won't feel trapped. A healthy relationship opens doors and is an added bonus, neither a necessity nor something negative or a "trap"
I can genuinely appreciate the fact that you're so aware of what you want, and that you understand in depth what you don't need right now in terms of a relationship. P.S. we Scorpios are amazing!
I am 28 and living on my own as an "adult" for the first time. Even though we are a couple of years apart I AM AND YOU AND YOU ARE ME! lol I can relate 100%. This is your narrative. This is your process. Continue to honor it. Listen to your inner voice and do what is best for you. I am asking myself all kinds of questions and realizing a lot of the desires that I have had for my life are deeply rooted in my societal conditioning rather than what I actually want. You're right being single is a luxury, a gift, and can be an amazing journey of self-love/discovery/creation. You are worthy of it. It's all necessary it will all work out for your good and those who are connected to you (in any capacity). Thank you so much for SHARING!!!!
I completely get you. That’s how I felt getting out of a four year relationship. I’m 22. The issue is, I’ve been in relationships in & out for like 6 years. It’s my comfort level but I know I need to be alone and really get to know myself outside of my relationships.
I LOVE THIS! I just got out of a 4 year relationship and being single is definitely a luxury I didn't know I needed in my early 20s! Not being obligated to text someone "good morning" every morning is a great feeling. Thank you Tarek for all your wonderful advice and venting videos lol
I'm 39 coming out of a 15 year relationship & this is exactly where I'm at right now lol. I want no parts of a relationship, I'm getting to know myself, and really enjoying life right now. I don't want anyone coming & disturbing my peace. I'm in a relationship with me lol. Scorpio, scorpio rising, & Libra moon over here 😉
Lmao, this is so real. I relate and I'm in my mid 30's. Don't feel you being 22 is why you enjoy mainly being free and unattached. It's often all about personality and preferences.
I totally feel this and it’s bringing me peace that other people feel like that 😭 I’ve always hated following rules and hate having to always explain myself. Being single is so freeing cause you can disappear and go off the grid without having to report back to somebody and explain what’s going on with you... cause quite frankly I DON’T KNOW! 😂😂😂 and i really don’t feel like figuring it out right now and having to report back to you. I’m definitely good off all that, especially with all this craziness going on! I’m tryna survive okay! 😭😭😭
This was so relatable! I just turned 21 and still have possibly a couple years to go in college, but I feel so much pressure sometimes to find a way to become financially stable, finish school strong, find a new, affordable apartment, getting a career started etc etc ETC. I'm also a perfectionist and just recently told myself I meed to slow down and be more chill this year. A friend even mentioned how I put too much on myself and I'm really trying to cut back on the need to be on 10 all the time & really don't like feeling I have to for other people. Also I'm a virgo 😭
I know the feeling. I only was in one relationship in my entire life. I’ve always been in siuationships not entanglements they’re always problems. Anyway I’ve been able to do for myself, and I agree.
100% but one thing that came to mind was that in my experience dating people who are older, they are usually so set in their ways that they still don’t want to accommodate. So I think the key is learning what you are willing to accommodate for and what you are not because no matter what, there is gonna be compromises
Totally agree! And I would also add that it's very liberating to not have you emotions so deeply influenced by how one other person behaves toward you and also all the TIME that you have. I've also recently come out of a relationship and now I can do my hobbies again and learn new things and all that stuff where before I would be watching Netflix w my partner
Your taking the words out of my mouth...lol. I'm in my late 20s and I've been single for 2yrs. Had a situanship, but relationships are draining. I love being single
I agree so much. I'm in my first relationship. And before I had already made up my mind that i'd moved to a different city for my Master's. But now having a boyfriend i've started to consider staying in the same city to do it online or go to a more expensive university here. And yes relationships are so fucking expensive. Like i dont have money like that. Also, yes you have to take the other person's feelings into consideration all the time. Lol and i don't know...🤣
This video is so important! I understand completely the need to be single and figure yourself out and you yourself have your undivided attention.. I have seen so many friends of mine changing themselves too much, viewing spending time with their partner as a chore, coming to the conclusion that they dont know what the want and need to figure themselves out and still going and getting into another similar relationship after the last one ends! In a society were not being in a relationship even at the age of 22 23 is viewed as a failure (esp for women) it is so important to have voices like yours and to amplify those voices. I ve been 6 years in a relationship and honestly i have been ingredibly lucky. I keep saying to all my single friends that somehow the predicament was perfect and if anything was different or if i broke up with my partner i wouldnt want to go searching for a relationship. Cause relationships take a lot of work! and if you are not getting out of them what you need, if you are not giving and receiving equally, if you have to think over 3 4 5 times if the person is worth it, get out of it! everyone litteraly dismisses me because they think that i am just saying those things to be controversial. but i honestly would never put in the work that i have if i havent gained all i ve gained these past years and if my partner wasnt such an angel. If it doesnt feel right, if you keep having second thoughts, if you feel even a little bit bad about yourself, please dont do it! you dont have to be in a relationship. and even if it feels good but you feel as if its hindering your self-progress, again dont - just dont. the biggest service you can do to other people, esp loved ones, is take care of yourself, figure out yourself and heal yourself. that is the case for many many types of relationships but very often it starts from romantic ones!
oh and btw i think that in a good relationship, you would always have to come first and your partner(s) should come first to themselves as well. that doesnt mean you wont do things for them or help them or do selfless acts - all of that could mean that you are putting yourself first as well. it just means that all you are doing is coming form a place of self realization and it is your true desire.
You definitely hit the nail on the head. I struggle with wanting to receive validation and attention from some else, but I have the power to be that for myself first. You have to date yourself, learn who you are, and what you like before committing to someone else. I feel like it is essential to build a foundation of who you are that way you can be the best partner when that time comes. That way you able to create healthy, loving, and lasting relationships. Thanks for sharing.
im screaminggg im an aries moon too and this is really where im at! im 21 and i want to be 21! im growing into my independence and i want to live in it and continue to learn so much more about myself! i loved this!!!
“Why am I depressed, why haven’t I gotten outta the bed in 3 days” ... TARRK get out of my lifeeee! Those days are the worse. Don’t even know why you’re upset or feeling some type of way half of the time
Tarek : "I'm assuming everyone who's watching this video has been in a relationship before" My forever-since-ever single ass : *sips her tea in silence*
drink every time i say I'm 22.
I can tell we would be friends in real life. Loving the vids
I’m Drunk and still watching other videos🤣
I’m 22 also and I felt everything u said lmao
This video is exactly 22 minutes long lol
You trying to have me drink
Well-known divorce lawyer here. Just my two cents: STAY SINGLE. TRAVEL. STAY FOCUSED ON BEING THE BEST VERSION OF YOU!
Amen!!
Can you pls talk to my African parents 👉🏾👈🏾😭
YES
@@Glowritz1 add Caribbean parents to that too😥
Thank you, Jonathan!
this is a healthy selfish
When he said "love is cute. I can get that from TV." I. AM. SCREAMING 😂😂😂💀
😂😂😂🔥🔥🔥
RETWEET
So so true
🤣🤣
Then said call a little side piece and let him stay the night and kick him out in the morning.🤣🤣🤣
We’re so young that when we get in relationships at a young age, it may take away the time to get to know ourselves truly.
Very true. Entered a long term relationship when I was 19, it ended and I realized how much time was lost finding and doing things for myself. Now I’m getting back to it and I’ve worked on self love, my career, and figuring out my identity. Doing this on my own has been empowering :)
A win for the gays 😏
@kshamwhizzle I understand what you’re saying. I would add however, that familial experiences, trauma, etc can hinder someone’s ability to truly connect with themselves, especially if they seek stability through relationships. There are many perspectives to this issue, so I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way. :)
@kshamwhizzle I can understand where you’re coming from. I personally just try to avoid making a judgement on people’s choices because I can’t assume I always know the intention behind them hopping in and out of relationships. But anyway, the world goes on :p
"Things have to be nourish over a period of time".
Spoiling yourself is a luxury and everyone needs to take some time to do that every once and a while!
you mean every day sis ^^
I get what you mean. We may not get to spoil ourselves everyday with everything else we may have going on so once in a while we need to find time to do so.
Every once in a while? How bout all the time
A relationship is a responsibility. People have to think about it like that.
I love this 🤞🏾✊🏾❤️
Its like owning a pet, it’s fun and all but then you gotta take care of them
Wowwwwww yesss sis soo true!!
Facts a real one synchronies though
Yep, I have enough responsibility. LOL
Being single and being happy to be single is a whoooole different vibe lol it’s honestly the best feeling, relationships aren’t the cure. Self love is the cure!
factssssss
GREATEST COMMENT !!!
Amen!
The freedom of being single. YES
THANK YOU 🙏🏾
Yup!!
Only when you are in a relationship you notice that
I know right!!!! People think I'm so weird! hahah
"If I want romance, I'll watch a movie and grab a pizza". LMAO BIG MOOD
Ong 💀
Yes New York style meat lovers supreme with root beer pineapple on my pizza cheesecake Ben & Jerry's ice.......
BIG MOOD
This is so me rn🤣 Relationships are beautiful but only if ur truly ready for one, rn I wanna be selfish a bit longer
Yes me to
"At the end of the day i'm gonna come first" Not to be childish but I felt that on two different levels
I can't 😊😄 I knew this comment would be up here...
I love you for that
Tht was a good one chile😂
Girl I- 🤣🤣
You should come first ...on all levels ...
it was the "relationships are EXPENSIVE" segment for me
yeah it's very expensive more than a brand new house
First off: the apartmnet is looking CUTE! Next: this video is so important. We are sold this idea of happily ever after with someone else and that a relationship will fill a void that we all feel. When really this ‘void’ will be filled by understanding yourself and meeting your own needs then meeting someone who can ADD to your peace. Not take away from it.
preach!
THIS.
Say it! 👏🏾
You hit it right on the head!!!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
V King LOL like everyone thinks your spouse/partner is suddenly supposed to cure every bad feeling you have. I think it’s unfair to assume that your partner is ONLY there for your pleasure/purpose and not to actually live their own lives with you as a part of it. I hope things get better for you!
I love how he says sorry and that he sounds selfish, but no honey, 95% of people feel this way but only the real ones actually put in the effort to figure themselves out before having to figure out someone else. I love when he said “I wanna give my mature self to someone else” I felt that so much! No one is perfect but I’m not trying to crash into someone’s life like a drunk driver, I want to be able to mentally process and understand myself so I am able to be there for the both of us...
ive never been in a relationship i just run away everytime i get close to one , humans are scary 😂😂
Are you me ? Lol cause I’m the same way
Same Lomzi! SAME!
Humans are creatures of habit,if you continue, you won't be able to stay in a long term relationship- God bless you
ive been in one before but i do the same thing
literally !
" Everywhere you eat you be paying for two, it's like your pregnant. I am not trying to pay for me and you"
LMFAO that statement gave big Mr. Crabs energy
I am geeking.
😂😂😂😂😂😂Good way of putting it!
Loooool
As a gay male who is 60, I am tearfully happy at how you (along with some others) are giving people permission to be authentically themselves by being yourSELF. I claim you as my grandson (lovingly. Please continue on your path and thanks for taking us (especially we who are older) along on your beautiful journey. p.s. You are drinking my favorite St. Germain
Elijah Pringle say that again Mr. Pringle!
Oof Say that louder for the wack people in the back lord
Kat then he is a blessed father.
say it louder for the people in the back sir
I'm 20 and have been in a relationship for almost 2 years now. The thing is: A healthy relationship should be treated like a nice bonus. A thing that adds to your life. It shouldn't be seen as a necessity or something that hinders or traps you. I think many people nowadays see "exclusive" relationships as a "trap". And I'm sorry to break it to you, if you feel like that if you're in a relationship, either your mindset or the relationship itself is unhealthy.
I love my boyfriend and don't want to leave him, but if it happens I know that I'll still have a fulfilling and happy life. He makes me happy, but I could also live a happy life without him because I have so many things outside of our relationship that make life worth living. Your relationship shouldn't ever, at no point in your life, be the only thing you put all your focus on. Don't put all your energy into one thing, because if it doesn't work out you're left with nothing and you wasted your time. Also, don't stay with people that drag your energy down. Stay with people that lift you up. I don't even know why people stay in relationships where they are constantly arguing and fighting with their significant other. Like, it's obviously not working out, stop trying to make it work. Arguments are normal if you have them from time to time, but they shouldn't occur regularly. That stuff messes with your energy.
Yup 💞
I love this🥺‼️‼️
This is true. The reason why I'm single is because I don't want to feel "trapped". Relationship is give and take. I don't want to be in relationship just to find it's a burden instead of relish on it
His aesthetic is so incredible
Yea his clothes are even matching the apt.
Build in your career, party and attend as much functions as u want, travel a lot, eat good! Date when u want, entertain those "relationships" when u want. Enjoy your 20's!!
Lol I'm 27 and still feel this way. I'm focusing my energy on myself. I value my peace and solitude honey. Don't feel like prioritizing yourself is selfish because it isn't ❤️
Right! I'm 27, and I feel the same.
Same age & same sentiment!!
I’m 27 too and I’ve never been in a relationship. While it’d be nice to have someone, it’s even more nice to focus on myself and what it is that I want. 😌
@@DanielleP0314 same and amen to that!
@@DanielleP0314 omg my PEOPLE!!! Same here lol. Being in a relationship where I'm anything less than so happy to be with that person sounds like a nightmare. I know what I value, want and need and I won't settle.
I like the saying I’d rather be single and wish I was married then married and wish I was single
I can't be in a relationship because I'm already working on a relationship with myself.
I’m really laughing so hard , cause you just explained ME
I feel the exact same way ‼️
Single life is the best life! I just graduated college, ended things with my partner, moved across the country, and started grad school and it is so nice to do whatever I want whenever I want. As a fellow 22 year old, I can confirm it is a great age to be single
I'm 20 now and I don't feel the need to be in a relationship it seems time consuming I already have college going on& I've always been single I'm okay w/being alone sometimes I may crave intimacy or relationship at moments it cute soI see your point I also feel like entertainment & social media really add to a yearning for a relationship because you see other people and you think that oh that's nice a wanna do that but it erases all of the downsides like arguing etc cuz you only see the positive, also I want this shirt you have on Tarek it's nice
“Erases all the downsides” I agree 100% because I got caught up thinking relationships was going to be all rainbows and roses
I agree with you and people think I’m unable to let someone in baby girl I chose college you chose to stay here for a man we have different priorities
@@nylahburns9767 thisss!! People need to understand that not everyone prioritizes being in a relationship it's that easy
I wanna get ME a nice lamp. 😩 I’m hollering.
People (in my case older family) think relationships are the same as if they were growing up. The argument I hear the most is “don’t you want to grow with someone”..... Like no, can’t I figured my shit out first? Can I graduate? Can I get financially stable first?😭😂👏🏾
i know right! the way people are now is so much different from before and honestly relationships aren't that appealing anymore, i just want money and a stable life and mental health
10:13 Im a 18 year old pre-rich student I don’t have the money to be in a relationship😂 I totally agree with you!
Pre-Rich! 😂😂 I love that!
Shady Tyrell I’m trying to stay positive😭😂
He said "Love is cute, but I can get that on Netflix" LMFAO
Scorpio with VIRGO RISING ANND ARIES MOON !! GURL you should've just led with that....
LMFAOOOOJDHSJSHDJS
I am a scorpio also with VIRO Rising but taurus moon
A L Pisces Rising changes everything in that case
trapsoul_12 what can you tell me about myself I’m an Aries, Scorpio rising, Pisces moon, Pisces Venus
@@Mimi-lw8ev Okay. so I'm not not an expert whatsoever but i'm gonna give you my opinion based on what I've been learning over the years, so !
Being an Aries Sun and Scorpio Rising I'd say that you are probably a very goal oriented person, that you know what you want, you are basically never ever gonna give up on whatever your are after in life. If you want something you're gonna go after it but the tricky thing is your are a very impatient person, you're gonna want everything right away PLUS being a PISCES moon you're gonna be very passionate about what you want, you're not gonna do something that doesn't feel right, you're gonna want something that resonates with you.
Based on the Aries Sun people I've met, you are a social butterfly... BUT only with people you value, you're don't associate yourself with just anybody ! And if you don't like someone and/or you feel that something's off about this person (Pisces moon influence) you're not gonna shy away from making it obvious to them. You are overall pretty good friends, RIDE OR DIE kinda friends. However if you get betrayed by anybody you don't hesitate from erasing them from your life, no matter how much pain it might cause you let them go.
On the Love side you probably want someone that's gonna be as driven as you are, someone who can stand up to you, someone with a good sense of who they are, someone with a lot of character. However you want someone who can be very very patient with you, someone who's gonna be very understanding, someone you can lean on when you're tired of doing all the heavy lifting. Your venus in Pisces just goes to show that you wanna be loved that way, that you like romantic gestures even though you don't wanna admit to yourself.
Please tell me if I did any good !!??😬
The most important relationship to cultivate is in relation to self.
Get a podcast pls, I’m pretty we will all love listening to it.
This!!
FACTS!!!
Yes!
When I was in my 20's and yes a graduate from college... i was living my SINGLE best life! Didn't get married until 37. Do you! (with the pinot) 😘
Yessssssss 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
My preferences are staying put. When I put my preferences to the side, I end up with an undesirable person. I’m fine alone until someone meets the set standards. No one has time for trial holiday gifts!
Periodt
The hair, the apartment, the skin yasss honey that's that single and living my best life GLOW.
this video was refreshingly honest. as a 23 year old who is also navigating post-grad life and overall just trying to be a mentally/emotionally balanced person, i really relate to you talking about the need to be alone in order to get to know yourself first. early 20's/post-grad is a time of huge transformation!! it is so healthy and necessary to learn how to be free and in touch with your true self.
You mean compromise. You should never compromise for anyone. Just be yourself. Have the same goals in life and same mind frame.
Young brotha, I’m in my 30’s. Keep that mentality. You will go far 😂. I’m soooo glad I’m not married or have kids especially with COVID going on. A few females tried to lock me down but, NOPE 😂.
I clicked so fast because I just got out of a long term relationship and trying to readjust to being single again has been tough for me because I’m so dependent on having someone around when I should learn how to love to be by myself and it’s okay to be alone sometimes..thank you tarek ❤️
Same!! Coming out of a 3 year relationship and wanting to celebrate being Single again ❤️🎉 even though I feel the transition phase is kind of difficult.
I'm really struggling to leave a relationship right now, because I'm compromising my morals and values staying in that relationship, but I also just want someone to really care about me and grow old with me. But that video kinda helped me to want to distance myself from that person and invest more time in me and other people ,so I can have the feeling again of being okay without that person
when I thought I wanted a relationship but Tarek Ali just let me know I'm bored and to focus on myself 👌🏾😂
Don’t sound crazy AT ALL! I’m literally in the same space, only I’m 31 and recently divorced 🤣
I remember when I was first separated from my ex husband, I met him when I was 19, married at 20, and left him shortly after turning 21. I was single and celibate for two whole years because I needed all that time to be selfish to myself lol
Ahh divorce. That sweet, sweet feeling of release! LOOOL
I'm 20 right now and I'm in a relationship, but I'm really happy with my partner. We started this relationship almost 3 years ago and after 7 - 8 months he broke up with me, and it was the best thing that could have happened to me. He was my first boyfriend and I haven't had much experience and I started to lose myself in this relationship and I was sooo clingy. Like everything I wanted to do, I wanted to do it with him. And that also had his impact on the relationship. I didn't really noticed this until he broke up with and then I really had time to just focus on myself, do things for myself and develop myself. 6 months later, we started talking again and be eventually came back together, but this time the relationship is so much more chill, since we both had the time so work on ourselves and figure out what issues we had.
With that said, I don't think, that breaking up was the only option in that situation, but it really helped me to open my eyes.
This whole video is just a vibe. Except I don’t got side pieces so I’m just alone lmao
This comment is so random but relatable 😂😂
" I. want. to. buy. me. shit" LISSENN this is the point I'm at right now in life. Been in a relationship for 10+ years, I'm single now. Going to a friend's wedding next week, traveling by myself. I'm in the process of buying my first home, I'm 27. I'm nervous as all hell, terrified even, but I can't wait to take this time to grow, live, learn, & love myself fully. thank you Tarek
The new apartment is 🔥🔥. We need a tour
You’re not ready to compromise but that’s ok. Being 38 I can look back and say at your age just do you man. The potential for relationships will always be there
I love this videos because a lot of time people are worried about being in a relationship. They have this timeline in their head but forget to take the time to get to know & learn about themselves. Keep it coming, I love these videos from you.
Being Selfish is important, I feel like people will bend they back (and not it a good way) for other people and lose focus on themselves. I feel like i do this alot, and it’s definitely one of my toxic traits. You will be so worried about other people happiness, but forget about your own. Being Selfish is actually a good thing, and i think its something that people should embrace more. Be stingy with your love, and put in places that make you happy weather that be food (lol), a new relationship or a fresh start with your self. Being selfish is definitely easier said than done. lol
16, never been in a relationship and I feel the exact same.
sis... youre 16
jimins thighs yes and...😂😂
jimins thighs so?? there’s people younger than 16 with this mindset.
Honestly, when you're 22 -- or any time in your 20's -- that is when you should spend time 'in a relationship with yourself'. It's like a second (or more) term of getting to know and understand yourself. Then, when you have a pretty good grip on your own core identity (your 'foundation' as it were) you have a solid platform to handle other people. Which is a really good thing to have going into ANY relationship! :D (Speaking as a thirty-something, it proooobably decompresses the need to do some of the things you mention as kind of social pressures You Must Do as one in a relationship.)
Super glad to hear you're figuring things out and putting the work into 'you'! :D
This video is our generation in a nutshell 😂
@@bridgetknight6997
You don’t know that.
Hey, I kinda like y’all generation. Maybe I’ll hook up with y’all more often 😂.
You’re not being selfish. Maximize your singleness to the fullest! Know your worth & just don’t settle for less. Focus on yourself! Love will come to you when you least expect it, & God has a plan for each and one of us.
Tarek is SO ME when it comes to relationships Lol it must be the Scorpio
Same as a Sagittarius here ✨
Same here and I'm a Libra
I’m a Taurus but I feel the exact same.
Daria Ashleigh Scorpio rising here and Pisces sun. Honestly same af, especially with all these realizations I've had them as well lol.
Dreamy Anon same placements...but add a Scorpio moon on top 🌝
I'm 32 and haven't been single for the past 14 years. Only recently I realised that I have completely lost myself in other people. I'm struggling to figure out what is it that I really want because I'm so used to people - pleasing. I wish I had seen this video when I was a teen or even in my early 20s....
I agree with you, there is nothing like being single and free. Mind you there are those times where you just want to put your arm around someone laying/ sitting next to you.
my scorpio ass loves being alone, i’ve been single since i came out the womb and honestly i love it. i spoil myself too much because i have so much freedom and don’t have to compromise at all, gurl a whole ass blessing
Omg someone gets me this is exactly how I feel. Like I’m enjoying being aloneee and not having anyone bother me about anything 😭😭❤️
Felt this in my soul!!! I wish I didn’t learn this in reverse wasting my youthful years.... single can be your happiest place! Embrace every moment ❤️
“...And then boom! I’m back to buying me gifts” Yes! someone who gets it. Tarek you were On in this video, I loved every minute. You’re willing to put in the work on yourself first which is priority.
"I am 22, but I haven't been myself for 22 years" - spoke to me on a deeper level. Especially the aspects of anxiety and wanting to put in effort in your own journey were good points!
And also...making compromises is so draining 😂
Thank you for sharing this! 💪🏼
I’m 22 too and we are exactly on the same page. And I’ve been on this wave for a couple of years now and let me tell you. It’s wonderful. 😂
I was deadass like yeah he’s a Virgo. Then he said “I’m a scorpio” and I was like oh, okay. “Virgo rising” I WAS RIGHT
swear i thought he was a libra or a virgo
EXPENSIVE girl😭🤦🏽♀️ to make it even worse, I was the one paying for everything😂😂 oh the good old stupid days 👀🥃.. Like 4months ago🤣🤣🤣
Me planning my ex’s birthday while he’s hanging out w another female:
@@vanessalopez9156 giirrlll😲😲😲no wayyyy
@@midnight_blue6793 it shows to prove that we need to keep to our standards and never settle for less because people get too comfortable
You're absolutely right. So often too many young people rush to be grown and in a relationship and don't take time to get to know themselves. Your 20s is a time to know you without your parents. A time to explore the world and your passions. A time to get comfortable with your finances and learning how to handle them and a time to have fun without being tied down. So you go and live your life and get to know you.
I've been single since my ex (full spectrum relationship) left me for another person. I've talked to people but now I'm just focusing on me. Something ive noticed since our breakup was how in the relationship with her I thought it would be impossible to be alone. She would be the one advocating how much she loves being alone and how she needed to be alone. But now I see that she's just been jumping from relationship to relationship before me and after me and it reminded me to slow down. I don't want kids. I don't want a partner. Maybe just a cute fling or something but I can't believe I almost got married so young. I don't wanna waste my life away then be bitter with resentment seeing my children be free.
I'm comfortable with being single. i run away when someone gets too close to me. i don't wanna be trapped.
In a healthy relationship you wouldn't be trapped lmao
That's not healthy either. If you're in a healthy relationship you won't feel trapped. A healthy relationship opens doors and is an added bonus, neither a necessity nor something negative or a "trap"
@@loen2629 i guess you are right. Actually i have never been in a relationship
I'm bout to be 22 next week and still not trying to be in a relationship. I cant deal with other people that much 😬👻
I can genuinely appreciate the fact that you're so aware of what you want, and that you understand in depth what you don't need right now in terms of a relationship. P.S. we Scorpios are amazing!
Tarek I fucking love youuu omg I’m only 17 but you give so much advice & you’re so well spoken!!
I am 28 and living on my own as an "adult" for the first time. Even though we are a couple of years apart I AM AND YOU AND YOU ARE ME! lol I can relate 100%. This is your narrative. This is your process. Continue to honor it. Listen to your inner voice and do what is best for you. I am asking myself all kinds of questions and realizing a lot of the desires that I have had for my life are deeply rooted in my societal conditioning rather than what I actually want. You're right being single is a luxury, a gift, and can be an amazing journey of self-love/discovery/creation. You are worthy of it. It's all necessary it will all work out for your good and those who are connected to you (in any capacity). Thank you so much for SHARING!!!!
This video makes me want to stay single and let the guy I’ve been talking to for a month know that I’m gonna focus on me (I’m 19)
You're awesome! Virgo sun Scorpio rising here!! I am 36 and I love being single!! I agree with everything you say
I completely get you. That’s how I felt getting out of a four year relationship. I’m 22. The issue is, I’ve been in relationships in & out for like 6 years. It’s my comfort level but I know I need to be alone and really get to know myself outside of my relationships.
I LOVE THIS! I just got out of a 4 year relationship and being single is definitely a luxury I didn't know I needed in my early 20s! Not being obligated to text someone "good morning" every morning is a great feeling. Thank you Tarek for all your wonderful advice and venting videos lol
I'm 39 coming out of a 15 year relationship & this is exactly where I'm at right now lol. I want no parts of a relationship, I'm getting to know myself, and really enjoying life right now. I don't want anyone coming & disturbing my peace. I'm in a relationship with me lol. Scorpio, scorpio rising, & Libra moon over here 😉
I’m 37 and me too girl!
@@Contrary_Sheby yes it's crazy! I feel more whole now than I ever have
Lmao, this is so real. I relate and I'm in my mid 30's. Don't feel you being 22 is why you enjoy mainly being free and unattached. It's often all about personality and preferences.
I'm 23, and this is the first time I've heard someone reiterate my thoughts and feelings verbatim... thank you 🥰
I totally feel this and it’s bringing me peace that other people feel like that 😭 I’ve always hated following rules and hate having to always explain myself. Being single is so freeing cause you can disappear and go off the grid without having to report back to somebody and explain what’s going on with you... cause quite frankly I DON’T KNOW! 😂😂😂 and i really don’t feel like figuring it out right now and having to report back to you. I’m definitely good off all that, especially with all this craziness going on! I’m tryna survive okay! 😭😭😭
This was so relatable! I just turned 21 and still have possibly a couple years to go in college, but I feel so much pressure sometimes to find a way to become financially stable, finish school strong, find a new, affordable apartment, getting a career started etc etc ETC. I'm also a perfectionist and just recently told myself I meed to slow down and be more chill this year. A friend even mentioned how I put too much on myself and I'm really trying to cut back on the need to be on 10 all the time & really don't like feeling I have to for other people. Also I'm a virgo 😭
this wide angle lens is everything! 😍
this video hit home so hard lmao
I know the feeling. I only was in one relationship in my entire life. I’ve always been in siuationships not entanglements they’re always problems. Anyway I’ve been able to do for myself, and I agree.
Yess now I remember why I should stay single. The calmness and freedom, love it
100% but one thing that came to mind was that in my experience dating people who are older, they are usually so set in their ways that they still don’t want to accommodate. So I think the key is learning what you are willing to accommodate for and what you are not because no matter what, there is gonna be compromises
Totally agree!
And I would also add that it's very liberating to not have you emotions so deeply influenced by how one other person behaves toward you and also all the TIME that you have. I've also recently come out of a relationship and now I can do my hobbies again and learn new things and all that stuff where before I would be watching Netflix w my partner
“I’m my own boyfriend” and that’s on Mary and her lambs 🐑 😩
Your taking the words out of my mouth...lol. I'm in my late 20s and I've been single for 2yrs. Had a situanship, but relationships are draining. I love being single
The Scorpio energy in this video 💀💀 I love it 🖤🖤
I NEEDED TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION WITH MYSELF TODAY. THANK YOU.
I agree so much. I'm in my first relationship. And before I had already made up my mind that i'd moved to a different city for my Master's. But now having a boyfriend i've started to consider staying in the same city to do it online or go to a more expensive university here. And yes relationships are so fucking expensive. Like i dont have money like that. Also, yes you have to take the other person's feelings into consideration all the time. Lol and i don't know...🤣
This video is so important! I understand completely the need to be single and figure yourself out and you yourself have your undivided attention.. I have seen so many friends of mine changing themselves too much, viewing spending time with their partner as a chore, coming to the conclusion that they dont know what the want and need to figure themselves out and still going and getting into another similar relationship after the last one ends! In a society were not being in a relationship even at the age of 22 23 is viewed as a failure (esp for women) it is so important to have voices like yours and to amplify those voices. I ve been 6 years in a relationship and honestly i have been ingredibly lucky. I keep saying to all my single friends that somehow the predicament was perfect and if anything was different or if i broke up with my partner i wouldnt want to go searching for a relationship. Cause relationships take a lot of work! and if you are not getting out of them what you need, if you are not giving and receiving equally, if you have to think over 3 4 5 times if the person is worth it, get out of it! everyone litteraly dismisses me because they think that i am just saying those things to be controversial. but i honestly would never put in the work that i have if i havent gained all i ve gained these past years and if my partner wasnt such an angel. If it doesnt feel right, if you keep having second thoughts, if you feel even a little bit bad about yourself, please dont do it! you dont have to be in a relationship. and even if it feels good but you feel as if its hindering your self-progress, again dont - just dont. the biggest service you can do to other people, esp loved ones, is take care of yourself, figure out yourself and heal yourself. that is the case for many many types of relationships but very often it starts from romantic ones!
oh and btw i think that in a good relationship, you would always have to come first and your partner(s) should come first to themselves as well. that doesnt mean you wont do things for them or help them or do selfless acts - all of that could mean that you are putting yourself first as well. it just means that all you are doing is coming form a place of self realization and it is your true desire.
You definitely hit the nail on the head. I struggle with wanting to receive validation and attention from some else, but I have the power to be that for myself first. You have to date yourself, learn who you are, and what you like before committing to someone else. I feel like it is essential to build a foundation of who you are that way you can be the best partner when that time comes. That way you able to create healthy, loving, and lasting relationships. Thanks for sharing.
im screaminggg im an aries moon too and this is really where im at! im 21 and i want to be 21! im growing into my independence and i want to live in it and continue to learn so much more about myself! i loved this!!!
Yes! I’m doing a lot of soul-care right now so this is right on time!🙌🏾✨
i loved this video! being single, and loving the fact that you’re single, is okay and should be normalized :)
“Why am I depressed, why haven’t I gotten outta the bed in 3 days” ... TARRK get out of my lifeeee! Those days are the worse. Don’t even know why you’re upset or feeling some type of way half of the time
relationship? lmaooo I'm trying to write this essay due soon. My professors are already trying to chop me.
Same situation 😂
Tarek : "I'm assuming everyone who's watching this video has been in a relationship before"
My forever-since-ever single ass : *sips her tea in silence*
This is what I have been on lately. Singleness is freedom 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Live your best life. It may not be for everyone but you’re telling your truth. Enjoy your youth before it’s gone.