How Jim stopped chasing after sleep and put over 10 years of insomnia behind him (#42)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.ย. 2022
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Jim struggled with insomnia for over 10 years. At first, he thought it was a symptom of heavy drinking, a poor diet, working late, and experiencing a lot of stress. However, the insomnia stuck around even after Jim addressed these issues. This led to many years of ongoing sleep disruption, fear, frustration, and anxiety.
In this episode, Jim shares the changes he made that helped him put his insomnia behind him. Instead of chasing after sleep, he began to spend less time in bed and always got out of bed at the same time every day. He started to get out of bed at night instead of staring at the ceiling for hours.
Instead of spending time before bed doing things in an attempt to make sleep happen, he simply set aside some time to unwind and do things that were relaxing and enjoyable.
Ultimately, Jim stopped trying to fight or avoid nighttime wakefulness. He stopped trying to fight or avoid the difficult thoughts and feelings that often come with nighttime wakefulness.
Today, Jim knows that he can still enjoy really good nights of sleep - even after the most stressful days - because he is no longer engaged in a competition with sleep.
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My name is Martin Reed and I am the founder of Insomnia Coach®. I offer sleep coaching services that give people with insomnia all the skills and support they need to enjoy better sleep for the rest of their lives. I also offer a free two-week sleep training course for people with insomnia at insomniacoach.com/sleep-train...
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach TH-cam channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach TH-cam channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I loved his story about the sleep study!!!!
it is right: there is a sleep drive, if i don't sleep several days.and there is a night, where i fall asleep. But the next day i feel still depressed, tired and groggy, because i had lack of sleep several nights. One night of good sleep isn't enough to restore all your energy, if you had before several days no sleep.and after that night i sleep again several nights very bad. The result of all this is, that i feel never good or normal. I am always tired and depressed and i can't use my energy. So i don't understand how people can accept that they don't sleep several nights good. it is impossible to accept this. cause after 5 days of bad sleep you feel just terrible and after a day of good sleep you will feel still terrible.
I don't think accepting is about giving up. It's about accepting what we can't control (such as sleep, wakefulness, what we think, how we feel) and committing to shifting our focus toward what we can control - actions that keep us moving toward the kind of life we want to live, even in the presence of all the difficult stuff we cannot control.
@@InsomniaCoach yes, this message has deep thoughts. It is some sort of reprogramming your brain. You have to learn to live with your diffuculties in life in order to overcome them. If you manage to achieve your goals despite of your insomnia maybe the fear of not being able to sleep will someday disappear. But i can tell you, in general it is difficult to have discipline. but if you are very tired you need a big amount of will power in order to force you to do something like studying. Thank you for your answer! Your tips are very good 👍
@@coco-cabanak.7160 It sounds like you might have a more workable approach there - thanks for sharing those insights! Yes, you are right that this process is hard - it takes a lot of commitment and a lot of practice!
How do you get past the anxiety towards not sleeping? That makes everything worse for me.
If your current approach toward anxiety isn't helping, it can be worth exploring a different approach. Most of us respond to anxiety by trying to fight or avoid it. If that's your experience (and it doesn't seem to be working) it might be worth practicing acknowledging its presence and allowing it to come and go as it chooses (while also being kind to yourself in return). That way, you aren't engaging in a struggle that can make things even more difficult.
I had the same experience with a sleep study - didn't sleep at all (or hardly), was told I was asleep the whole night and didn't realise it because the machine told them so...I don't think there's much value in them.
Thanks for sharing your experience.
Hey Martin I’ve been struggling with sleep for about a year now and I don’t think I’ve ever struggled before I think I might have insomnia but also recently I’ve been getting 2-3 hours of sleep sometimes more but mostly 2-3 hours and I don’t ever get tired anymore and I’m wondering if it’s normal to start sleeping a lot less than when I was getting like a lot more hours
You might find this video helpful - How to improve sleep when you don't feel sleepy and don't know how to get sleepy: th-cam.com/video/TaFD4ivgLKw/w-d-xo.html
Hi Martin, I have difficulty of falling asleep these days, I feel sleepy and going to bed at 12, but when I go to bed I don't feel sleepy anymore, then I get out of bed and it happens the same several times and I'm not able to sleep until 4-5AM then I wake up at 8AM. What should I do cause I want to fall asleep sooner than that? How can I change my sleep schedule?
It sounds as though by going to bed at midnight and getting out of bed at 8:00 AM you might be setting yourself up for some longer periods off nighttime wakefulness. Unless you are already averaging close to eight hours of sleep, it might not be useful to allot eight hours for sleep each night. In terms of losing that sense of sleepiness when you go to bed, this video might be useful: What to do when you feel sleepy early in the evening but don't feel sleepy when it's time for bed - th-cam.com/video/_o-y80hs16c/w-d-xo.html
I started SRT 4 days ago.
I have a maintainance chronic insomnia.
Going to bed at 11.45 but unfortunately it takes more time now til i fall asleep even though i'm super sleepy already at 10.30 and struggle for one more hour to keep my eyes open
Should i continue with this schedule or should change my sleep window? Maybe 11.30-5.30?
It might be worth holding out with a sleep window for a week or two before making any changes. How are you currently reacting to nighttime wakefulness when it happens?
@@InsomniaCoach Thanks for replying.
Luckily i stay relaxed and calm during the time being awake. Sometimes i leave the bed for 10 minutes before going back and try it again. But no arousal or a lot of thinking. This improved since i started SRT.
But tiredness before going to bed is so huge that it really stops me from falling asleep easily. Forcing me to keep my eyes open seems to be counterproductive for me. It seems to program me to keep awake when being tired.
I think it's OK to go to bed within the hour or so of the start of your sleep window if you are finding it hard to stay awake. You might even make the hour before your sleep window begins the last time you check the time until you get out of bed in the morning to start your day!
Hi Martin, where do I place my attention when in bed? I find myself running away from myself all night before important events. Watching & waiting to see the sleep happen. “Don’t look at the blackness, don’t focus on the breath, don’t think, don’t put your attention there, or there. STOP FOCUSING ON THINGS. WHERE DO I FOCUS? Am I asleep yet? How about now?”
I end up a buzzing hyper roller coaster of trying to evade my awareness, trying to slip away from it. What do I do with my attention please?
How about instead of all the "don't's" you allow the observations and wandering to happen? "Oh, look at the blackness, oh now I am focussing on my breath, oh now I am thinking about toast, oh now my attention is drifting back to that conversation I had with a talking crocodile yesterday," etc, etc. Put more simply, a more workable approach might be observing everything your mind is doing rather than trying to control what your mind is doing.
Additionally, if nighttime wakefulness feels really unpleasant you always have the opportunity to do something more pleasant instead - either in bed, or out of bed.
I hope there's something helpful here!
@@InsomniaCoach Thanks for your reply. The talking crocodile made me laugh. Listening to your podcast, I think you regarded this issue as ‘self-monitoring’. When looking into that term, I couldn’t find much about it. So the solution to self-monitoring is to simply allow the mind to monitor? Are there any other resources/advice you could give me for this?
I get caught up in the cycle of trying not to be aware. Because if I am aware, I won’t sleep? Isn’t sleep the cessation of awareness? Then obviously I can’t get away from my awareness. I often find I’ll go into this weird half wake/half sleep state for hours because I can’t not be aware. Like I get stuck in N1. The transition from aware to unaware seems impossible.
Really appreciate your help, thanks.
@@Robbie-ll5ge We aren't aware of much when we are asleep - that's true. However, before we are asleep we are all aware! If you are a living and breathing human being then you are getting more than N1 sleep.
@@nkundwashanice574 Thanks for sharing! I don't think we need to ignore a certain thought to fall asleep. In fact, I don't know if that's even possible. If I told you not to think about a pink elephant could you do that? Here's the thing - you've already thought about a pink elephant and every time you try not to think of a pink elephant you will think of a pink elephant! It sounds as though what might have been truly helpful for you is acknowledging that thoughts (and perhaps feelings, too) come and go while also coming back into your body whenever difficult thoughts or feelings arrive and try to sweep you away.
Hi, I have not been able to sleep for 2 weeks. I have been given sertraline and sleeping tablets but they don't help. The sleeping tablets made me sleep for 3 -4 hours, but it made me drowsy all day. The doctor has took me off the sleeping tablets yesterday but no sleep at all now. Please help
You might want to start with my free two-week sleep training course: insomniacoach.com/sleep-training/
Just curious, you say that chronic insomnia doesn’t correlate with health conditions, is there a study to support that.
Not for me but for a friend of mine :)
One of the best studies that investigated a potential link between chronic insomnia and mortality included 36,938,981 individuals and found no difference in the odds of mortality for those individuals with symptoms of insomnia when compared to those without symptoms! Here's a link to that study: pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30529432/
my insomnia started 2 yrs before on 2020 when I was worried about something but not sleep.i was so worried and in fear at that time
After 3 months of struggle one day i think I dint worry abt anything tat day think so nd went to bed Nd slept within seconds which i dint expect.Then next day at nyt I was talking with my mom I felt sleepy but I din go to bed.something she said Nd i began to think about it Nd got excited.thats it my sleep was gone.
I had so much hair fall.my fear is all about my no sleep Nd sometyms unrefereshed sleep Nd also hair fall too
Then i watched some videos of ur Nd others .came to know tat not bcoz of sleep but coz of stress, have hair fall Nd also it's hyperarousal it's common .After that I felt so much better.I dint worry that much .but still I had hyperarousal sleep till now
In 2020, insomnia started but I had good appetite but in 2021 I lost my appetite Nd I had indigestion.my digestive system is is deeply affected.Mrng aftrn very slow digestion but at nyt even Wen I sleep a little that too hyperarousal sleep with so many dreams , food gets digested.
i went to doctor ,had medication for one month ,it went well but again lost my appetite and very slow digestion.Doctor said if u dont sleep well ,then this will be the case.i don't know how my body got cured for some days Nd how i lost it .now worry Nd fear has been transferred to digestion now.sometyms only I think Nd worry abt sleep.mainly I am worried nd feared about my digestion .my mind keeps on thinking that if this will get cured..Sometyms when I don't think anything I get relaxed Nd keep on yawning .but no sleep.what will be reason for just yawning Nd no sleep?
I have watched many videos Nd I came to know leaving all theses mind things Nd being in reality can make you sleep..but my mind keeps on worrying nd is not allowing me to leave all this(what if this happens or what if that happens .)
I am so confused about my health Nd sleep...I don't know wat to do.i am so afraid.tell me wat to do. does THIS MEAN MY SLEEP IS AFFECTING MY DIGESTION?
I am a very good sleeper before.can I have the ability to sleep back again? I have a doubt that my body lost my sleep thing? now I don't have a trust in my body .what to do.give some suggestions coach
Yawning isn't always a sign of sleepiness - many of us yawn just thinking about yawning or when we see others yawn! Worry is natural and normal - for as long as you're a human being you will experience difficult thoughts and feelings as your brain does its job of looking out for you! Problems are more likely to occur when we try to fight or avoid difficult thoughts or feelings - because we just can't control them, so we get tangled up in an endless, exhausting, and distracting struggle!
We never lose the ability to sleep and there is no evidence that chronic insomnia causes any health condition whatsoever.
I hope there's something helpful here!
@@InsomniaCoach but Wen I feel relaxed ,I just yawn ,feel a bit sleepy .so my sleepiness never lost right? Wen I think sleep is about to come,then it's gone,I m not tired at all,always brisk.its hyperarousal?
Wat to do?any tips
@@purelove5780 I wonder if simply waiting for that sensation of sleepiness to return might be the most workable way of responding when it feels as though sleepiness has disappeared?
@@InsomniaCoach sorry can't understand..plz can u tell me little more simple?
@@purelove5780 Sleepiness will always return when we've been awake for long enough. You might find these video helpful:
What to do when you feel sleepy early in the evening but don't feel sleepy when it's time for bed - th-cam.com/video/_o-y80hs16c/w-d-xo.html
How to improve sleep when you don't feel sleepy and don't know how to get sleepy - th-cam.com/video/TaFD4ivgLKw/w-d-xo.html
Hi Martin, I don't know why sometimes I can sleep little but sometimes 5-7 days no sleep at all like 0 hour? Do you know what caused it? Also, when I don't sleep nothing for 0 hour I feel worry and the next night I cannot sleep nothing either?
Sometimes the most difficult nights of sleep happen when we are trying the hardest to make sleep happen or otherwise avoid nighttime wakefulness.
@@InsomniaCoach do you think something wrong with my brain..it been 4 years and my brain still cannot switch to sleep mode? It seem like i just closed my eyes but sleep doesn't happen?
@@teresahoang6593 Only a doctor can make that diagnosis - but what I can say is that chronic insomnia isn't typically caused by something being wrong with our brains. It's usually caused by all the things we do to try to make sleep happen.
@@InsomniaCoach I did went to different doctors but they don't know anything...that is why I suffered too long ...nobody can help me...so you don't think I have fatal insomnia or my brain forget how to fall sleep again?
@@teresahoang6593 It's highly unlikely you have fatal familial insomnia (which is not insomnia, but a neurological disease that's so rare it pretty much doesn't exist). We never forget how to sleep - it's just that sleep becomes a lot more difficult the more effort we put into it.
What did he mean by sleep buffering?
I believe it means adding a period of time before sleep where you wind down maybe relax or put away electronics?
As @Walrusky said, it's a period of time before bed (perhaps 30 minutes to 1 hour) that is reserved for relaxing and enjoyable activities. This isn't an effort to make sleep happen, it's simply a period of time at the end of the day that's reserved just for yourself. It can help change your relationship with the approach of bedtime, help you notice sleepiness cues, and help with the transition from wakefulness to sleep. No need to put away electronics or observe any rituals at this time - anything you find relaxing and enjoyable can be useful :)
Im taking sleeping pills from last 7years my age is 23 i dont see any hope
There's always hope - you might enjoy my podcast episode with Sally. She had insomnia for 60 years and was taking sleeping pills for 10 years. She was still able to improve her sleep! th-cam.com/video/uBBrakJJeYo/w-d-xo.html
Do you take sleeping pills daily?