How Eric got his life back from insomnia by focusing on what he can control (#53)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ต.ค. 2023
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Eric's insomnia journey began after he woke in the middle of the night and experienced a huge panic attack. From then on, sleep became very difficult.
As he tried to fix things, Eric stopped watching TV in bed with his wife - something they both enjoyed. He tried napping, even though he never used to nap in the past. He tried sleeping on the couch. He tried sleeping in a chair. He tried blue-light-blocking glasses. He stopped traveling. He isolated himself as he became convinced that his struggles were reflected in his appearance. He would beat himself up every time he had a difficult night.
Eric's transformation began when he shifted his focus away from trying to control his sleep, his thoughts, and his feelings and redirected his efforts toward his actions.
He started to do more of the things that mattered - even after difficult nights and even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings. He started to accept the presence of anxiety as a necessary ingredient for a rich and meaningful life. Eric found that the more he did this, the less power and influence sleep and anxiety seemed to have over his life.
Eric was never into meditating but he started to practice meditation - not in an attempt to make sleep happen or to control his thoughts and feelings - but to practice and develop skill in making space for his thoughts rather than trying to fight or avoid them. He also gave himself permission to do something else during the night when he was awake, rather than tossing and turning.
Today, sleep doesn't consume Eric's attention. His focus now is on controlling his actions and doing things that matter rather than trying to control his sleep and what he might be thinking or feeling. As a result, insomnia no longer holds Eric back. By practicing a new approach, Eric got his life back from insomnia.
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My name is Martin Reed and I am the founder of Insomnia Coach®. I offer sleep coaching services that give people with insomnia all the skills and support they need to enjoy better sleep for the rest of their lives. I also offer a free two-week sleep training course for people with insomnia at insomniacoach.com/sleep-train...
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach TH-cam channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach TH-cam channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great interview and very encouraging! It’s important to know that people that are truly struggling are only getting few hours of sleep, unlike people that come on the show, complaining of only sleeping 5 to 6 hours
Exactly i slept 2 hours 😢
That’s great segment!! 90% of this is my story exactly. I lost my wife and 6 other family members over the last 2.5 years. One year ago my sleep went away. It’s been a struggle ever since. I was always a great natural sleeper so my fear and frustration went through the roof.
I am doing CBTI and addressing my thoughts, along with therapy.
I have never taken anything meds in my life, so trying meds for a short time created more side effects than it was worth.
Very encouraging and inspiring. This is a marathon not a sprint. Thanks for your candor
I felt like I was listening to myself. My story is so similar to Eric's. Hating my bed, taking selfies to see how horrible I look after a bad night, fearing that other people can see that I can't sleep.
Thank you so much for making these videos and offering them to all the people suffering from insomnia for free, they are so helpful.
Love this channel so much. It gives me hope and hope is priceless. Thank you 🙏
Thank you for your kind words!
Thank you. Great interview. Very helpful!!!
You're welcome - thanks for being part of the channel!
Much Appreciation for both of you gentlemen, very encouraging interview & channel 👍👍
I appreciate your kind words :)
Great interview. Thank you.
I appreciate your feedback!
Great segment!
Thank you for your feedback!
Wow, i can't believe that Eric's story of taking many selfies just like i did, i literary took pictures of myself every other day to see how myself look especially when insomnia got worst. Really appreciate Martin doing this interview and appreciate Eric sharing his story, i believe it will benefit to insomnia community !
How many hours can you sleep now michelle? Yes, I always want to suicide on the day when my sleep is so bad, but when I can sleep little I stop having suicide thought. Never in my life, I think insomnia is happening to be because I think sleep is something that everyone can have..
My sleep is one day 3-4 hours and next day is 6-7 hours, never consistent sleep hours. OMG, I have the same experience as you, I feel so hopeless when I didn’t sleep well that day ( suicidal), but I felt I can conquer the world when I slept well that day, my life have been like that for about 2 years. However, I believe that I will get better just need to be reminded by the sleep coaches podcast constantly like Martin, Daniel which gives me so much hope and encouragement , I’m forever grateful for these sleep coaches !!
You are not alone. Many, many people are going through exactly what you are going through. It's difficult and your experience is shared. Your belief that things will get better is evidence of your growth mindset and I am sure that will help drive you toward your goals! I wish you all the best.
It’s not just a phobia. There’s autoimmune disease flare ups which keep you from falling asleep. If we have too little progesterone, that will wreck sleep. If you have sleep apnea, that will induce insomnia. Not a phobia based issue.
There are many things that can influence sleep! When it comes to chronic insomnia, it can often feel quite mysterious if there's no clear cause or reason behind it - that's when it can be helpful to explore whether it's our approach to sleep that might be making things more difficult (especially if we notice that our approach now we're struggle is different compared to our approach when we weren't struggling).
I think the key message shared by Eric is about how helpful he found it to do things that mattered when sleep was difficult rather than withdrawing from life and engaging in a struggle with an invisible adversary that was out of his control. I feel that might be a useful message for anyone struggling, regardless of the cause of their struggle.
Thank you for your contribution and for sharing your thoughts :)
Hi coach! I’ve had restless legs all my life. Been through all the therapies, meds etc to no avail, the symptoms keep progressing and are present every night, all night. I know theres no cure for me, and I’m pretty zen about it, don’t have anxiety or worry etc. What my problem is though is lack of desire to go on, I’m just tired of life with hardly and QOL. Constant brain fog, lack of focus, zoning out etc. So I would love a video on coping w incurable chronic insomnia, rather than how to help it. Haven’t found any videos on that topic. Highly appreciate it❤️
I think that coping/dealing with insomnia in a more workable way is what many podcast guests are actually talking about - and, as they coped better (and struggled less) they found that a bonus side-effect included better sleep, too.
❤
You might as well copy almost all the approach of Daniel from The Sleep Coach School. He's clearly identified that insomnia is a phobia and it's all about unlearning fear through acceptance i.e. exposure therapy over time.
I believe our approaches are quite similar - and we live just down the road from each other, too :)
Why did I no longer experience strong sleepiness?
I don't feel confident falling asleep.
I totally understand. I’m only able to sleep every other night.
I've had insomnia for 2 years. 1 to 3 hours a night. I was a decent sleeper and now I cannot sleep. Don't know what the issue is. Wish to go back to normal.
I understand. I’m only able to sleep every other night. Have you lost hearing as a result?
How can we stop hyperarousal feel like I've lost the ability to relax and sleep is my enemy. Like the brain has been programmed to stay alert when drifting off. Sensitive to any noise at night. Even through day I'm tired I don't think I'd be able to sleep. So frustrating I've always slept great all my ive life been fit and active. This is just ruining my life over 3 months now. I do sleep some nights not as bad as some insomniacs but I'm used to 8 to 9 hours a night. I've had to go on a anti depressant the anxiety turned unbearable from the sleep deprivation. It's helped alot with the worry of bed time and depression it caused. I just need to get over the arousal when sleep doesn't come as quick as it once did. I always loved sleep so it's hit me very hard mentally. I've had to stop lifting weights as much as I'm not recovering and wounder if that's causing excess cortisol on top of an already stressed out body.
I had a bout of insomnia for almost 2 months back in the summer and was all worried about my exercise as well but I pushed myself as much as I could without causing injury and it seemed to help make me a bit more tired some nights as well as kept my self esteem up. I know it’s hard but your sleep will go back to ‘normal’ eventually. I just ended up accepting that most people you encounter, probably deal with much of the same tiredness and it’s part of our human experience. I know this may not help a ton, but just wanted to offer some encouragement! Just keep reminding yourself some nights will be crappy but some won’t. Keep just turning it over in your brain that sleep will come, your body will regulate itself to your specific needs. Our bodies are resilient. Even if it’s not immediate, things will get better.
@GinaK687 thanks gina means alot. The exercise does help me feel more positive and keep me mentally strong
@@danh2310Absolutely! Keep pushing; things do get better! 👍🏼
@@GinaK687hey how it was to exercise with little sleep ??? I'm afraid to begin weights again because I'm afraid of how I will feel after
@@Sensimillia97There definitely were some days that I needed to take a rest day but there were days when I’d work out regardless and you will definitely feel tired afterward but you also still get the endorphins too. I do think exercise definitely helps to encourage the ‘sleep drive’ to where it can help your body shut down at nighttime for sleep. There were some days I’d work out and then sleep a bit better that night. You know your body best though- if you know you can push thru and do a work out, do it, but if not, be nice to yourself and take a rest day.
Still have trouble sleeping went on meds made me feel crazy now I just smoke weed and go to bed
Thanks for sharing :)
Way too many fucking afs contebt is good