I worked with a softspoken gentleman from the south who would get cut off in conversation and then raise his hand and say, "I'm dreadfully sorry for speaking while you were interrupting."
That's great!! Interesting that this video suggests one should finish their thought, even if interrupted. As a quiet person, I find in group settings, those with loud voices will interrupt. I stop talking when they speak, and may try to make an effort to contribute again. But, if I get interrupted again, I am generally resigned to checking out of the conversation. One of my old restaurant coworkers used to try to coach me sometimes about talking LOUD. He always made me laugh...😄😄 Great video❤
Yes. This notion of someone treating people the way said people treat them is weak and immature. Why would you allow someone (else's actions) to dictate the kind of person you are??? Decide who you want to be and then BE THAT KIND OF PERSON... regardless of how other people behave.
Hey, everyone who runs this channel, you have all helped me with my social anxiety which has been ruining my life for years, destroying my academics, social status, and basically everything around me. I've been having a language barrier for a long time, but you have helped me conquer this. You guys are the best channel ever.
Bless you!! I’m sorry and was and still plagued by this for years! The only thing that has helped me during my weak time (after my baby and going through a traumatic abusive marriage and divorce has been klonopins) but there is hope! I was comepletely off of any medication except Zoloft right before that! What helped me was just being in the moment and loving myself! Also realizing the most confident people usually also have lower self esteem than I do and to be polite no matter what! Especially when nervous bc that will appear endearing to some people. Once your confidence builds up don’t become a doormat either and realize you matter!! Also daily prayer to God has helped me tremendously!!
if you get nervous thoughts/internal dialogue in one language, try "shifting gears" or taking the wheel of your mental processes by actively thinking in the other language. It always kinda reminds me i'm in control of this thing and grounds me when i can remember to do it
Being talked over is a huge issue people have and I agree, just continue what you were saying at the same tone. Some people just get excited and don’t mean to talk over you so don’t take it personally.
And some people are rude, lack basic interpersonal etiquette and awareness. I've learnt to point it out to them in the moment, and I enjoy watching them swallow it. Maybe not so charismatic but it does the work 😂
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@@BG597 works once. If you never have to deal with the person again I suppose.
I frequently interrupt people. Especially if I am “running” something. Some people simply take too long to process their thoughts and/ speak. The pace of the entire conversation/meeting can’t be ruined because one person loves attention too much or simply can’t keep up with a flow of conversation. That said, I usually interrupt with questions or intentional statements to help them get to the crux of what they are saying faster or to set them up for a joke. Some people just NEED to be interrupted because they don’t have the charisma themselves to be interesting or “read the room” and tell what they should be saying/ not saying.
@@JazGalaxy I don't think that's necessarily "interrupting" in the context of the video and OP's comment. That to me sounds like simply steering or assisting a conversation, as opposed to total disregard of speaker and bringing in a new subject.
Part of Jaden backing down immediately is probably the subconscious habit of giving way to the adults. He would be dragged for being disrespectful if he were to interject the way Will did, or even if he interjected politely.
6 Psychological Tricks To Command Respect Instantly 1. Thin Slice (People's first impression of you): Clothes - wear something that fits. 2. Take up more space: hand gestures, taking up the entire seat. You are "not" afraid of being seen. 3. Get comfortable with platonic touching: hugs, hi-five, shoulder pats. Must be done appropriately - under 5 seconds, normal areas. 4. Don't stop talking - always finish your sentence. Don't let them talk over you. 5. Compliment your competition. Don't tear down others, you'll lose respect. 6. Openly share your shortcomings. People judge you on how you perceive your own shortcomings: "own the bad things" about yourself. 🔥
I love all of these except for #4. I have so much more respect for someone who mostly listens and can move flexibly through conversation than someone who just bulldozes through.
There's a balance. You can still leave a lot of 'air' time for others to chip in (yes, it's very annoying if someone is always talking). But when you do speak up, you usually want to make a pointed effort to finish your sentence. Some people have a habit of _always_ interrupting (not maliciously, they just can't shutup), so you _do_ have to bulldoze and speak louder sometimes in order to override them.
@@WeartheGoodSocks I knew someone who would loudly complete my sentences... but they always (always) finished my sentence in the opposite direction than I was going. I was always so confused that they could go in that direction - did they not know me at all? Their behavior might not be 'bulldozing' but it was so annoying cuz it left me feeling not at all understood. I asked them to stop interrupting me, but they didn't... ugh!
As a young teenager, I thought that googling things like “how to be Moe confident” was so shameful, but now I realize that casually watching these videos is a way to absolutely boost the way people perceive you and it’s certainly a good thing to work on yourself.
It's no shameful at all bro. TH-cam can offer some great content, such as videos like this. I am 17 and trying to improve myself as much as possible. Thats what life is about. Being a better version of yourself than you were the day before.
Make the mistake and admit your shortcomings to others. And they will take this as their permission to remind you of your shortcomings every time there is an argument. After all - you said it yourself that you have that defect.
Tricks are like building a house with no foundation. They look good on the outside but you'll crumble if someone challenges you You have to also work on your internal beliefs
@@Loveoverfear1001 Then don't watch them? There are different levels of video depth for different audiences - for some people, these tips and tricks can be the opening towards changing their internal beliefs. If you're not the core audience, nobody is forcing you to watch and waste your time.
@@MiaRBeauty hey I saw this comment just by chance , you have any videos you can suggest to me I am really trying to work on all of this but need better guidance
@@MiaRBeauty How would they know these videos are not for then if they do not watch them first? This piece of manipulation is so common, it's starting to jarr.
@@Name-lz6cg It's not manipulation - what do I have to gain from ''manipulating'' y'all to not watch stuff you don't enjoy lmao? You watch it, see it's not for you, you stop watching. It's unproductive to KEEP watching, realize it's for a specific audience you're not a part of, and then complain that it doesn't cater to you -specifically-. Things are made for different people and that's okay.
1. Upgrade your thin slice. 2. Physically take up more space. 3. Get comfortable with platonic touch. 4. Don’t allow yourself to be cut off. 5. Compliment your competition. 6. Openly share your shortcomings. People judge you on how YOU perceive your shortcomings.
Definitely agree with the last one!!! Always said I see a person who is more vulnerable and honest than one who plays strong and put up a front being fake and phoney. To me it’s a sign of strength, not weakness and I respect them more.
Did you even watch the video bro? "6 Psychological Tricks"- Clues in the title. Your comment is irrelevant. "Respecting yourself is not a trick but something much more fundamental. Not one of 6 pyschological tricks. It's not a video about overall psychological makeup, self esteem and self image etc. It's a video about tricks. They even talked about more authentic self respect deep authentic confidence, etc at the end in their advert.... Perhaps you should take their emotional master course. Rather than commenting other peoples channels perhaps you need to concentrate on your own. I don't respect you.
@Victoria Spies the dude comments on almost every video on this channel and dozens of not hundereds more channels spreading his "wisdom". He never watched the videos. It's just to get attention to his channel. It's an inauthentic advert essentially.
@@jonathanbowen3640 I'm sorry to say this but after reading your comment, i went to his channel to look at his videos and I notice that on the "about" section of his channel it says he's in Sweden. Given his name, I can't help but think that he's part of the community of muslim immigrants plaguing Sweden right now
Talking through interruptions unphased, and calling them out calmly to regain control is the single-most important tip I have received from this channel. If anyone believes that they are invisible to people and no one wants to hear what they have to say, definitely don’t sleep on this advice. It’s priceless!
it's kind of hard when you have a soft voice and are in the company of people who like to bellow. I honestly have had to shout at times just to make myself heard over others who just interrupted me normally in their huge disregarding bellowing voice, probably because my amplitude range is beneath what their brain can pick up.
@@dawsoncarpenter2206 Everyone says to speak louder. They don't realize that we can't. Our vocal chords won't allow for it. We aren't trying to be soft-spoken. We aren't holding back. It's beyond frustrating when people state that we just need to try harder. It's like saying that we need to just be taller or 10x stronger to begin with. I'm reminded of a gentleman at a quiet restaurant who was speaking as softly as he could, but his voice was so naturally loud that everyone in the room could still hear him clearly. He was trying to go in the other direction and was powerless to do so.
@@dudewhathappenedtomycountr9099 my voice is loud and my teacher get mad but I just whisper now? You can willingly change the tone of your voice but you can’t change the length of your body so that was an odd comparison
@@mrthirdparty4861 better jeans maybe button up, i mean jeans can be between businuess casual or super casual, age appropriate hoodie and not something obnoxious, mainly i wear everything from weargustin, maybe chinos or pants with a brown or black leather shoe
I've been watching these videos out of sheer curiosity and I am delighted how far I have come since my shy younger years. These are all things I have figured out on my own, over time, after many years of embarrassing myself. A lot of this comes naturally with getting older, I think. The old "embrace my flaws" trick has been huge for me, too.
which you love ? please reply . 0:16 - #1: Upgrade your thin slice. 1:22 - #2: Physically take up more space. 2:32 - #3: Get comfortable with platonic touch. 3:59 - #4: Don't allow yourself to be cut off. 6:07 - #5: Compliment your competition. 8:17 - #6: Openly share your shortcomings.
Upgrade your thin slice to a larger slice with all the toppings then sit in a booth rather than at a table to eat ibecause sometimes your elbows poke out when eating and you will need more space for that while you eat
Being open about our imperfections may be good advice for the most part, but it is prudent to keep in mind that there are narcissistic people who are more than happy to zero in on the vulnerabilities of others and proceed to humiliate them. So it’s probably a good idea not to share too much with people that we don’t know well.
You're mistaking narcissists for sociopaths. The two traits often go together ( and if you have antisocia behaviour disorder thrown in, you have the trifecta ), but they don't necessarily have to.
Your advice is gold. I used the tactic where I don't stop talking when interrupted and it works like a charm. It even gets the interrupting person to stop talking if you do it right.
Taking up space and your overall presence definitely affects how people treat you. A few months back, I was sitting in the waiting area of a restaurant. A man with his wife sat across from me. He leaned towards me and said, “This is going to sound like a crazy question, but are you a cop”? I said no, and that I worked in tech. “You look organized. You look disciplined”, he responded as he brought his fists together in a flexing motion. It was the most flattering compliment I’ve ever received. Take care of yourself, be mindful of your posture, dress nice but not over the top, and always be polite. People will notice your confident energy.
#1 sign you are a cop in a restaurant: You order a doughnut for your main course. #2 sign you are a cop in a restaurant: From the moment you walk through the door you look around the room eyeing everyone as though they are guilty of something and you are going to figure it out by the time you are finished with your dinner.
I didn't realize how much of this stuff we do naturally. There are definitely areas of improvement through practice, but I love that we all have a bit of this going for us already. Good luck, everyone!🍀
One thing you forgot to mention: secure ppl speak in an even steady tone, while insecure ppl speak in wildly varying emotional tones. The way you speak directly reflects what is going on inside you.
Unfortunately, not at all. People who know how to play the game speak calmly and make you believe them whilst making the ones they have hurt look irrational.
Sit with proper posture, dress nicely even though you're inside your own house, frame your video shot with yourself in the center. If you watch streamers, basically be like one of them on video calls, but still be yourself obviously.
Light from behind, preferably natural light. Background not too bare or busy. Try to look into camera when talking as looking at the screen makes you look like you’re looking down.
This seems to me a smart piece of advice. :-) Thanks Clyde for having shared publicly your intelligence. I need to find a way to make this advice an habit of mine. In Italy, where I live, it should work well, because, in group situations, many people interrupt each other.
I tend to make eye contact with the person that has been interrupted or turn back to them immediately, and nod to indicate I'm still listening and the person who interrupted stops themselves or tapers off until the first speaker is done. I then turn around and give the same attention to the other person 😅. The palpable relief on their faces and how open they become to you is mind blowing. And also subtlely letting the people around you know that you're an objective listener and they don't have to compete to be heard.
Let's face it: we're addicted to five-second sound bites. We've been brainwashed by the media to expect and seek out entertainment to a ridiculous and unhealthy extent. People have forgotten how to exercise their minds, how to delve more deeply, to listen, to appreciate profundity. We doubt ourselves and are forced to play games while being surrounded constantly by needy, unhappy fake people. We don't really want to blend in and be accepted by them as much as we need to defend ourselves properly. All that to say: I love this channel. The number one takeaway here is to continue talking after someone has interrupted you. That elevates you to the power status of the one doing the interrupting. It's tough, something I as well as most people need to become better at. I hope life is kind to you all today. Please practice kindness. Namaste
Always walk upright with your shoulders square and make strong eye contact. That makes you look formidable and not someone to trifle with. Never look down if you can help it as it makes you appear weak and an easy mark. This is what happens to many victims of daytime crimes like muggings because they exude the appearance of being an easy target.
I surveyed hundreds of incarcerated muggers for a magazine article on this very topic. You’re absolutely right. Exude weakness/distraction and expect to be targeted.
I heard somewhere that you shouldn’t break eye contact first. Like, when you’re walking into a room, or catch someone staring at you, don’t look away first no matter how uncomfortable. It’s a natural posturing and the first to look away is the submissive. Don’t make it weird … You can maintain eye contact with a small smile on your face. Usually the posturing only lasts 10 seconds but it’ll feel like minutes.
Respect is also a mutual thing, if you're respecting of others, people will perceive you differently and respect you before even making contact with one another.
After years of trying to do this stuff consciously, I noticed that once I started adopting a holistically healthy outlook and mindset, a lot of these things happened naturally. Of course my social skills have gone down the toilet since quarantine, but it’s a muscle I’ll get back to good form
I think being authentic is the MOST important message of this video. So often, human resources "experts" on TV have given tips regarding how to get a job. Much of the subtext of what they're saying is, "Fake it. Give an impression of being a certain way, not the way you truly are." The tips can be quite detailed, ranging from shoes to hair and from eye contact to posture. The only problem is that, basically, you are selling the employer a lie that you won't be able to maintain - ultimately resulting in the employer's "buyer's remorse" and employee misery. There is a difference between putting your authentic best foot forward and simply play acting. One of the reasons why so many companies have such bad management is that the managers weren't real managers but were, instead, only faking it.
Never judge a book by its cover. Dressing, learning how to walk, how to speak, and how to impress are all part of the way a book looks. But eventually - people open the book and start looking at the content. And that's where all the "tips on how to impress" fly right out of the window.
People are more revealing than book covers. Even a book cover can tell you a lot about the contents of the book. Don't just accept what is presented in images, colors and words on the cover. Look for what you can see the book cover is covering. A book cover is not always intended or designed to be inviting. Many covers are designed to prevent people from reading the book.
When it comes to owning your shortcomings. It reminds me of a quote from Tyrion Lannister- "Never forget what your are, the world will not. Wear your flaws like armour and it can never be used against you."
I'm old now but even as a teenager I've always been a ambiguous toucher, touching a girl's hand or her shoulder while laughing or talking with her. It also helps to take dancing or a martial art which requires touching like Judo. Then you wouldn't be afraid to touch people up close.
Yeah alot of men in America don't like to be touched. One touch from another man is like alright,but when a man keeps touching you. You gotta say what the f_ck man. We don't kiss each other either, but hey I won't judge other folks it's just not our thing.
Don't touch anyone unless you're in a relationship with them. Otherwise you're asking for trouble. It pisses people off and usually makes them uncomfortable.
i have always been super introverted and shy and i'm so glad i've discovered your channel these past weeks. i have a big family and i'm already seeing improvements in how they respect me when i'm talking and how they react to my stories. i can't wait to apply these tips to my life after quarantine. sometimes i struggle with supporting my friends during deep conversations. i'm usually a great listener but i would really appreciate a video on keeping those situations comfortable and helpful. this channel is doing so many amazing things and i am so grateful for all the tips you have given me. thanks ;)
“Keep your head high and don’t apologise unless you absolutely have to. Then do it once, loudly and clearly. Never whine, never plead, never gush. Think before you speak to a person and when you have to, use few words. People respect the silent, they despise the garrulous.” This is a paraphrased quote
@@sashanealand8315 thank you, I whole heartedly agree. To my shame I can never quite remember the origin of the quote nor the exact words so when I do online searches I can’t get an answer but I’ll find it one day
I used to work for a man who had been the Dean of Students at a local college. He would say, “Good grammar and good manners will get you a long way”. I also agree with dressing one level above. It was an unwritten rule in the large corporation where I worked that you should dress like someone in the position you want to attain. I will never understand why teachers no longer dress professionally, when they could command more respect that way, and at the same time set a good example for students.
You’re right. I wore my expensive, well fitting costumes which absolutely got me more money and advancement at the workplace. Now that I’m retired, I revel in dressing down, no makeup, unkempt hair. There’s a sense of freedom and joy.
I'm always overdressed a bit and people compliment me on my style all the time, even though i only have a few designer pieces and the rest is zara, mango and h&m but it's important to not overpay for plastic and get nice fabrics like linen and wool etc
Same. I don’t think my style is anything extra special, I just wear what I like but I’m always complimented. I think its a lot about you wear the clothes and not let them wear you.
I have a rule that proves me right every single time. Whenever I join a new group of people - all my flags go up by those who introduce themselves as my new friends - they are those who learned how to impress.
That sounds good but isn't true. Instant respect may lose a little shine but it is rarely lost quickly once you have given it. Most people are not that quick to change their opinions. The only time they are quick to change their opinions is if they suddenly realize their point of view does not align with those present. Think about Homer Simpson when he went to college and did not get the joke everyone else was laughing at then the next opportunity he is the only one in the auditorium laughing.
@@hanksh7285 Maybe he was more passive around his father. I'll bet he's more assertive around his peers. He's charming and articulate just like his father.
I want to add to the being cut off line of the episode, if you do give up on a sentence, a gesture and a "go ahead" gives your permission to the other person taking control. They may be talking now, but they're acting with your blessing, which is huge.
if someone interrupts you they are already acting without your blessing. Trying to make up for it by giving them a faux permission just makes you look like a pushover
I tend to talk over people - not due to disrespect - but rather because I get excited and don’t want to “lose” my thought because my memory is terrible. I actually appreciate when people I know just calmly turn around and say, ok - just let them finish. They know it’s just my impulsivity and not disregard for the speaker. Point. At my age, I’m still learning! ☝️👍🏻✌️
One trick I do for “don’t allow yourself to be cut off” is when someone interupts you, stop the conversation and more importantly them, amd say something along the lines like “hey so n so, I do want to hear what you have to say but let me finish what I have to say first ok?” Then if they do it again you can get more mad. Lots of people just talk louder when people interrupt, but that is childish so you do not want to do that, instead do what I told you
"Practice what you preach", "walk your talk" whatever! this video has just commanded me to respect it. Not just that, it definitely is psychological but surely not a trick. Man you're such a keen observer. You proved it in every clip. Great job! I learned and am inspired. Thank you.
That's interesting because there was a time, there were like 10 people in a hostel in Rio de Janeiro, everybody interacting when this guy arrives and starts overtalking, his voice was loud and he was catching our attention kinda filling the whole space. In the begging it was "okay, let's listen to the story the eloquent guy has to tell", but then when other people would try to participate he would always interrupt them and just talk about himself... After 20 minutes of boring non-stop talk I got up in the middle of his speech and said "excuse-me guys, the conversation is really nice here but I gotta go" everyone started laughing, saying "yeah, it's late already..." so I think he got the message as half of us left the place. Interrupting either kills the vibe or breaks the ice, it's all about when and how hahah
Often let people cut me off during a sentence and you explained that just perfect. It is more about ''wanting to respect the person'' while literaly beeing disrespected.
#3 can be tricky though. When in college for my education degree we were taught “do not touch students ever, in any way” and even touching other teachers was discouraged to avoid harassment allegations. So there’s that concern. Also, I personally do not like to be touched and I immediately feel an aversion to people who try to touch me (beyond a handshake or whatever) who I do not already know extremely well and am already comfortable around.
Good point. No way I will let another man touch me because most men feel the need to assert dominance which they do by putting their arm across your shoulders as one would with a younger brother or a child. Do not touch me, I am not your pet or your woman f f s
Absolutely do not touch people, ever. In male to female interactions, limit all engagement to a nod, a hello, and strictly current work topics. Or spend a decade and a few hundred thousand dollars.
This, to be honest is very much a cultural thing…Particularly in the US and to a lesser extent in the U.K.. In many European countries, particularly France, Spain and Italy, touch is far more important and common. Friends and acquaintances, both female and male very often greet each other with an embrace or a kiss to the cheek..it is quite normal and not regarded as creepy…though it has to be said , creepy is very obvious, there is a clear difference.
Yeah if you've just met someone, you have no business touching them. It also annoys me when salesmen approach you cold and stick their hand out like you'd want to shake it for some reason. It's like 'mate, I don't know you, I don't want to know you, I'm not interested in anything you have to say... much less sell... why tf would I wanna grab your manky mitt that's already putrid with the residue from your last 50 handshakes. F**k. Off.'
I stumbled upon this video. I don't care about impressing anyone or getting attention. I don't care what people think of me and I'm not going to put on a show to gain anyone's favor.
So one very important thing I discovered when I was in my early 20's, and it still sticks to me to this day, is my belief that "CONFIDENCE IS KEY," that quote I made myself to remind myself. Now I started to realize this when I was self-aware of being super shy, didn't approach girls, and didn't know how to talk to them. I don't want to attribute it to weed but after I started smoking weed and relaxing a little around other people and just acting myself I started to realize that having confidence in acting yourself and accepting yourself for who you are brings MANY benefits in almost all aspects of your life. It has helped me in my work life, my personal life and helped me be successful in both. Confidence is key.
Back in 2018 I was working a corporate job and a restaurant job at the same time to make ends meet and I would always change out of my tie and slacks and put on street clothes for my restaurant job. But one day I decided to continue wearing my dress clothes and surprisingly a lot of customers showed me more respect than usual and that’s when I realized that my overall image plays a big part in the way that people perceive me
Maybe it's time for me to accept that the appearance (clothes etc) changes the way you are perceived. I still find it superficial and it annoys me. When I go to work at my workshop, I don't put on makeup, have my hair in a simple practical bun etc. because I don't want to be seen as too feminine/superficial - it's still mostly a male domain and I want to be estimated for my work rather than my look. We have mandatory workwear anyway, so the difference would be only details. But I think I have to realize the strategy doesn't work the way I expected, so... I might try something different... I will give account ;)
It's funny, I do a lot of these naturally, and I think people would say I exude a confidence. I had never quantified it like this before, this is super enlightening!
That is, if you give a damn what people think about you. I don't go around trying to gain the respect of strangers; but I don't ever let my friends, coworkers, or acquaintances cut me off or interrupt my speech.
Thank you so much for mentioning Jordan Peterson. He so misrepresented and people dont know how sensible, well thought out he is and how many lives he changed for the better.
Another tip is to genuinely be friendly and your demeanor and touching should reflect that. You're not just doing it to be liked, but doing it because you like them. People know when you're fake.
I appreciate your video. I feel it is important feedback to you that for women, a lot of these suggestions backfire in my experience. Of course I am almost 6 feet tall in flats so I have that to deal with as it is counter to my gender role, confusing things for many people. Confusion isn’t a good first impression. So I have to be especially conscious of the constraints of being a female. 1- upgrade thin slice - it definitely works to upgrade your dress. but women have to be extremely careful to finesse the line between being too “fancy” and feminine (not taken seriously) or too “plain” and masculine (butch, aggressive). This is oversimplified but gives you a start. Throw in skirt length, sleeve length, color, pattern, form fitted, loose, sexy vs frigid, and you get an idea. 2- take up more space. Similar to 1, too much movement, you seem inappropriately aggressive or too little: timid and tight assed. I know this is silly, but imagine it, say Peggy Olsen in Mad Men, mimicking Draper. It would be really weird to see her man-spreading across a couch as Draper sits demurely on the edge. 3- platonic touch. I think women are freer to touch people than men are so this is one plus. Of course touching a man is fraught with hazards. Even a shoulder pat can be considered flirting by some men. Female touch can be considered manipulative. Think of an actress in an old movie seductively touching a man’s suit collar or tie. It’s completely inappropriate especially if you are the man’s superior! 4- don’t allow yourself to be cut off. This is “Karen” behavior. I’m sorry but women who aren’t the outranking executive do not get to do this or they risk being labeled something rhyming with glitch. It is a paradox because if you let people interrupt you then you appear to be weak. You can’t win unless you can have graceful quickness that slips gently in and returns the focus to you. Hillary Clinton, for all her faults is excellent at this. Also Hillary is excellent at not letting her voice go high. Women’s voices, when raised, like in your example, often go up in pitch and take on a whiny, screechy (fingernails down the blackboard) quality which instantly destroys any credibility you may have. Think of Elizabeth Warren in the 2020 Dem primary debates. Once again, Hilary Clinton has this down and lowered her pitch when she raised her voice. 5- compliment your competition. I think this is ok if you are very careful. Women have multilevel subtexts. it is difficult, especially with when the person you are complimenting is female. Women learn young how to use the backhanded compliment and fake friendship like a master swordsman uses a rapier. Also it can make you seem weak (women default to weak until they repeatedly show evidence to the contrary) 5- openly share your shortcomings. This rarely works for women in my opinion. Instead of admiration for admitting human fallibility, it instead reinforces the stereotype that you are incompetent or fishing for compliments. It backfires badly with men as the audience, who frankly don’t take women seriously on a deep subconscious level, even if they are trying to be fair. None of these issues are anyone’s fault, women react the same as men do to other women. It is just a fact of life and not something to be bitter about. Women have other strengths. This comment is meant as a consciousness raising. Since you are men, it is entirely understandable that you didn’t think about it this way. It would be cool if you could do some compare and contrast videos to explore how women’s and men’s behavior is perceived differently and how to optimize both. I would especially appreciate getting the male perspective on how women’s behavior and speech is perceived. Thanks!
You've made some good points - for people who need to be liked, accepted, etc. because they're business people. But if it's friends you seek - be you, whoever and however you are. Anything else is beneath you.
Very good points! A lot of times when people see confident women, it is instinctual to try to bring them down because a lot of folks were raised thinking women should be meek and demure. I'm FtM and still look like a woman to some people, so I still get this treatment on occasion. Especially if I'm doing something in a male dominated field like playing metal music.
I absolutely stop talking when I'm interrupted because I want to be heard. It saves my energy not competing for space to talk. I simply say to the interupter; "I'm sure what you're saying is important to you and you probably want me to listen to you, but it's impossible to hear you when I'm talking." This way you're asking for respect while showing respect, which folks seem to respond to more positively.
toni3393 I just tell them that I didn’t finish to talk. It was hard to say it at first but when you say it a couple times and that you see people understanding. It becomes normal. It’s like saying « no ». Try it a few times, you can smile when you say it it may be better, depends on the situation of course.
It's very true that you shouldn't capriciously cut someone off in a conversation. I was cut off in my conversation by one who should know better, which meant either of two things, or both, which is that he didn't think what I had to say was important or that he thought that what he had to say was more important. Immediately afterwards I took all my business to one of his competitors.
As a psychologist, these concepts or "tricks" aren't unfamiliar to me, but I've come to learn them experience over time. Being an introvert, small in size, and soft-spoken while working in a field and in settings that are predominately male, it can be challenging to find that balance between coming across as a pushover versus aggressive. Interestingly, these things do work, although I have not perfected them by any means, lol. Great video!
Your voice overs are worth a subscription and worth the price of admission. Your voice itself is a million-dollar voice. Your voice should be in movies if you're not
The key is confidence, no matter who you are right now. If we are trying to learn the bits and pieces of being confident, it just goes to show that we are not confident.
I have been repeatedly exposed to the very real possibility of having my self confidence misunderstood for arrogance by people that have less of a justification in their own confidence.
Getting a relationship with my main man, Jesus Christ, has changed my life and I have an inner joy that is not affected by circumstances. Give Him a try.
Always dress well. Back in the mid 90's I invested in a bespoke English business suit. I swear it got me the job I went after...not just the look but the confidence it gave me. It also worked with the ladies 😁
Read The 48 Laws of Power and then unironically implement it. It works for cult, religious and political leaders, so it may work for you. Basically, be a cold, calculated psychopath.
Quick things about clothes: something inexpensive, but tailored, always looks better than something expensive but poorly fit, which you touched on. Another thing is that wearing big bold labels or logos is generally seen as a way of desperately saying "Look at me and the brand!" which is against self-confidence. Lastly, shoes. Yes, shoes. I remember a study where women tend to notice a man's shoes very quickly and judge them by it. Actually, I will take note if someone's shoes are unpolished, in disrepair, or otherwise cheap looking (there are quality shoes at affordable prices). If you invest in good quality shoes, and keep them looking great and maintained, it shows that you recognize quality and take care of it. Same could be said of sunglasses - one quality pair that fit you well, which are highly maintained, speak volumes.
Successful people don't become that way overnight. What most people see at a glance-wealth, a great career, purpose-is the result of hard work and hustle over time.
@@tianalucas8147 Yeah! I agree with you sir.If you want to be successful have the mindset of the rich, spend less and invest More. Don't give up your dreams.
People come here with the aim of chasing money more than knowledge and that will damage your progress, trust me. Chase knowledge first and I promise! The money will follow you just like it's following some of us now.
@@juliagoncalves4082 That's very correct And that is why most of them end up losing they money don't be in a haste to invest. Know what and who you are investing to and be sure that the person will deliver before I n v e s t I n g. Learn and get the knowledge first before investing..
I worked with a softspoken gentleman from the south who would get cut off in conversation and then raise his hand and say, "I'm dreadfully sorry for speaking while you were interrupting."
Haha that’s great, I’m going to start using that!
I got to remember that one.
That is smooth!
That's great!! Interesting that this video suggests one should finish their thought, even if interrupted. As a quiet person, I find in group settings, those with loud voices will interrupt. I stop talking when they speak, and may try to make an effort to contribute again. But, if I get interrupted again, I am generally resigned to checking out of the conversation. One of my old restaurant coworkers used to try to coach me sometimes about talking LOUD. He always made me laugh...😄😄 Great video❤
I`m sorry that the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours...
"People judge you based on how YOU perceive your shortcomings" very good point
I take up more space every time I'm around a beautiful girl... With an erection, believe me it works every time!!!!
@@Tucker454 don't do the man like that
Ability to talk about your shortcomings and laugh about it.
people don't like self respect, they like doormats.
@@Yulamah you shouldnt try to appeal to people who are looking for a doormat.
“Treat everyone with politeness and kindness, not because they are nice, but because you are.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
Yes. This notion of someone treating people the way said people treat them is weak and immature. Why would you allow someone (else's actions) to dictate the kind of person you are??? Decide who you want to be and then BE THAT KIND OF PERSON... regardless of how other people behave.
Kind is good. NICE is NOT. Nice = weak.
This is great however, from experience, it gets you hurt in the end
Beautifully said!
This is 2022 where everyone has a agenda and they are vicious. That would work in 1955
Hey, everyone who runs this channel, you have all helped me with my social anxiety which has been ruining my life for years, destroying my academics, social status, and basically everything around me. I've been having a language barrier for a long time, but you have helped me conquer this. You guys are the best channel ever.
Bless you!! I’m sorry and was and still plagued by this for years! The only thing that has helped me during my weak time (after my baby and going through a traumatic abusive marriage and divorce has been klonopins) but there is hope! I was comepletely off of any medication except Zoloft right before that! What helped me was just being in the moment and loving myself! Also realizing the most confident people usually also have lower self esteem than I do and to be polite no matter what! Especially when nervous bc that will appear endearing to some people. Once your confidence builds up don’t become a doormat either and realize you matter!! Also daily prayer to God has helped me tremendously!!
Thank you guys for the encouragement!!
Heyy can u tell me how it helped cuz I am in the same situation as you.
I hope you're still doing well!
if you get nervous thoughts/internal dialogue in one language, try "shifting gears" or taking the wheel of your mental processes by actively thinking in the other language. It always kinda reminds me i'm in control of this thing and grounds me when i can remember to do it
Being talked over is a huge issue people have and I agree, just continue what you were saying at the same tone. Some people just get excited and don’t mean to talk over you so don’t take it personally.
And some people are rude, lack basic interpersonal etiquette and awareness.
I've learnt to point it out to them in the moment, and I enjoy watching them swallow it. Maybe not so charismatic but it does the work 😂
@@BG597 works once. If you never have to deal with the person again I suppose.
I frequently interrupt people. Especially if I am “running” something. Some people simply take too long to process their thoughts and/ speak. The pace of the entire conversation/meeting can’t be ruined because one person loves attention too much or simply can’t keep up with a flow of conversation.
That said, I usually interrupt with questions or intentional statements to help them get to the crux of what they are saying faster or to set them up for a joke.
Some people just NEED to be interrupted because they don’t have the charisma themselves to be interesting or “read the room” and tell what they should be saying/ not saying.
@@JazGalaxy I don't think that's necessarily "interrupting" in the context of the video and OP's comment. That to me sounds like simply steering or assisting a conversation, as opposed to total disregard of speaker and bringing in a new subject.
Alex Platinum Dating BUT ALSO, if someone is ALWAYS doing it... just don’t talk to them. 😂
Part of Jaden backing down immediately is probably the subconscious habit of giving way to the adults. He would be dragged for being disrespectful if he were to interject the way Will did, or even if he interjected politely.
Absolutely. And also his dad is there, which is not when you feel the most like you are “in your own element”.
Wow great point!
Excellent agree with you
True, unless they all find whatever he says funny like they did for his dad
Yep! We've all been victims of age . It's ok.
6 Psychological Tricks To Command Respect Instantly
1. Thin Slice (People's first impression of you): Clothes - wear something that fits.
2. Take up more space: hand gestures, taking up the entire seat. You are "not" afraid of being seen.
3. Get comfortable with platonic touching: hugs, hi-five, shoulder pats. Must be done appropriately - under 5 seconds, normal areas.
4. Don't stop talking - always finish your sentence. Don't let them talk over you.
5. Compliment your competition. Don't tear down others, you'll lose respect.
6. Openly share your shortcomings. People judge you on how you perceive your own shortcomings: "own the bad things" about yourself.
🔥
Legend
I was looking for this comment to save 11 minutes, thank you sir.
God bless you
Thanks
Thanks for saving my 12 minutes
I love all of these except for #4. I have so much more respect for someone who mostly listens and can move flexibly through conversation than someone who just bulldozes through.
There's a balance. You can still leave a lot of 'air' time for others to chip in (yes, it's very annoying if someone is always talking). But when you do speak up, you usually want to make a pointed effort to finish your sentence. Some people have a habit of _always_ interrupting (not maliciously, they just can't shutup), so you _do_ have to bulldoze and speak louder sometimes in order to override them.
The bulldozer is the one who interrupts you mid-sentence, not the person who decides to calmly complete their thought.
agreed
@@WeartheGoodSocks I knew someone who would loudly complete my sentences... but they always (always) finished my sentence in the opposite direction than I was going. I was always so confused that they could go in that direction - did they not know me at all? Their behavior might not be 'bulldozing' but it was so annoying cuz it left me feeling not at all understood. I asked them to stop interrupting me, but they didn't... ugh!
@@jfdc8432 ..and youve both been happily married now for ten years.
As a young teenager, I thought that googling things like “how to be Moe confident” was so shameful, but now I realize that casually watching these videos is a way to absolutely boost the way people perceive you and it’s certainly a good thing to work on yourself.
It's no shameful at all bro. TH-cam can offer some great content, such as videos like this. I am 17 and trying to improve myself as much as possible. Thats what life is about. Being a better version of yourself than you were the day before.
@@HistoryForYouOfficial I am 17 too.
And the next hurdle is the realisation that people's perception of you means absolutely nothing
@@zedzeddius8445 That's true brother
I'm 50 and I still haven't figured it out. I'm glad there are things like this to help me learn things I want to know.
"You dont have to be Ryan Gosling or Emma Stone"
*Shows Brad Pitt*
Well, technically, Brad Pitt is neither Ryan Gosling or Emma Stone. He's not wrong.
Hollywood is full of simpletons.
Hahahaha I noticed that as well 🤣🤣🤣
@@crespoopserc ok boomer
@@crespoopserc you mean Simpsons? Haha I'm hilarious!
I disagree with someone cutting me off. At 42 years old , if you cut me off while I’m speaking I simply stop talking to you.
"In reality, people DO NOT judge you on your shortcommings, they judge you on how YOU perceive your shortcommings"
Gold.
Yes, it is Gold.
Thanks Pedro :-) for quoting that, cause I didn't give it the attention it deserves
@@taylor_tony Glad it helped :)
Preach...
Make the mistake and admit your shortcomings to others. And they will take this as their permission to remind you of your shortcomings every time there is an argument. After all - you said it yourself that you have that defect.
Tricks are like building a house with no foundation. They look good on the outside but you'll crumble if someone challenges you
You have to also work on your internal beliefs
Oath I prefer deeper videos. Not this surface level kind of stuff.
@@Loveoverfear1001 Then don't watch them? There are different levels of video depth for different audiences - for some people, these tips and tricks can be the opening towards changing their internal beliefs. If you're not the core audience, nobody is forcing you to watch and waste your time.
@@MiaRBeauty hey I saw this comment just by chance , you have any videos you can suggest to me I am really trying to work on all of this but need better guidance
@@MiaRBeauty How would they know these videos are not for then if they do not watch them first? This piece of manipulation is so common, it's starting to jarr.
@@Name-lz6cg It's not manipulation - what do I have to gain from ''manipulating'' y'all to not watch stuff you don't enjoy lmao?
You watch it, see it's not for you, you stop watching. It's unproductive to KEEP watching, realize it's for a specific audience you're not a part of, and then complain that it doesn't cater to you -specifically-. Things are made for different people and that's okay.
1. Upgrade your thin slice.
2. Physically take up more space.
3. Get comfortable with platonic touch.
4. Don’t allow yourself to be cut off.
5. Compliment your competition.
6. Openly share your shortcomings.
People judge you on how YOU perceive your shortcomings.
thin slice?
The real mvp. Thanks for the efficiency boost.
The exact opposite of progressive Democrats. Got it.
@Astro Jenkins Beta got offended?
@@stevethea5250 🤣🤣🤣
Definitely agree with the last one!!! Always said I see a person who is more vulnerable and honest than one who plays strong and put up a front being fake and phoney. To me it’s a sign of strength, not weakness and I respect them more.
*First and foremost:* If you don't respect yourself - others will take your lead on that
Did you even watch the video bro? "6 Psychological Tricks"- Clues in the title. Your comment is irrelevant. "Respecting yourself is not a trick but something much more fundamental. Not one of 6 pyschological tricks. It's not a video about overall psychological makeup, self esteem and self image etc. It's a video about tricks. They even talked about more authentic self respect deep authentic confidence, etc at the end in their advert.... Perhaps you should take their emotional master course.
Rather than commenting other peoples channels perhaps you need to concentrate on your own.
I don't respect you.
@Victoria Spies the dude comments on almost every video on this channel and dozens of not hundereds more channels spreading his "wisdom". He never watched the videos. It's just to get attention to his channel. It's an inauthentic advert essentially.
@@jonathanbowen3640 ah thanks for the clarification :)
Totally true!!!Well said!!
@@jonathanbowen3640 I'm sorry to say this but after reading your comment, i went to his channel to look at his videos and I notice that on the "about" section of his channel it says he's in Sweden. Given his name, I can't help but think that he's part of the community of muslim immigrants plaguing Sweden right now
Talking through interruptions unphased, and calling them out calmly to regain control is the single-most important tip I have received from this channel. If anyone believes that they are invisible to people and no one wants to hear what they have to say, definitely don’t sleep on this advice. It’s priceless!
it's kind of hard when you have a soft voice and are in the company of people who like to bellow. I honestly have had to shout at times just to make myself heard over others who just interrupted me normally in their huge disregarding bellowing voice, probably because my amplitude range is beneath what their brain can pick up.
@@Lena-cz6re speak louder to begin with
@@dawsoncarpenter2206 Everyone says to speak louder. They don't realize that we can't. Our vocal chords won't allow for it. We aren't trying to be soft-spoken. We aren't holding back. It's beyond frustrating when people state that we just need to try harder. It's like saying that we need to just be taller or 10x stronger to begin with. I'm reminded of a gentleman at a quiet restaurant who was speaking as softly as he could, but his voice was so naturally loud that everyone in the room could still hear him clearly. He was trying to go in the other direction and was powerless to do so.
@@dudewhathappenedtomycountr9099 then yell?
@@dudewhathappenedtomycountr9099 my voice is loud and my teacher get mad but I just whisper now? You can willingly change the tone of your voice but you can’t change the length of your body so that was an odd comparison
"start dressing one lever nicer than the situation calls for"
me: *wears a suit to school*
That’s what I was thinking
One level up, not the top level up otherwise it would look awkward.
@@eugenioalongi6949 whats a level above a hoodie and jeans
@@mrthirdparty4861 better jeans maybe button up, i mean jeans can be between businuess casual or super casual, age appropriate hoodie and not something obnoxious, mainly i wear everything from weargustin, maybe chinos or pants with a brown or black leather shoe
@@mrthirdparty4861 slacks and a buttoned shirt, polo, v neck sweater. Many options.
I've been watching these videos out of sheer curiosity and I am delighted how far I have come since my shy younger years. These are all things I have figured out on my own, over time, after many years of embarrassing myself. A lot of this comes naturally with getting older, I think. The old "embrace my flaws" trick has been huge for me, too.
Don't fake it till you make it. Fake it till you become it.”
― Amy Cuddy
Books In Review Good video she had 🙌🙌🙌
Hone it 'til you own it
That’s literally what fake it till you make it means
That’s literally what fake it till you make it means
@@danielsuelzle4364 Nope. watch Amy cuddy's ted talk.
Guys remember this, Everything is situation based. There’s no list you can follow.
Stop, analyse, react. That’s it
Stop analyse act
Yes, ..and different cultures have different values/perceptions on what charisma can look like. How one responds to situations..
True
Spot on.
which you love ? please reply .
0:16 - #1: Upgrade your thin slice.
1:22 - #2: Physically take up more space.
2:32 - #3: Get comfortable with platonic touch.
3:59 - #4: Don't allow yourself to be cut off.
6:07 - #5: Compliment your competition.
8:17 - #6: Openly share your shortcomings.
Upgrade your thin slice to a larger slice with all the toppings then sit in a booth rather than at a table to eat ibecause sometimes your elbows poke out when eating and you will need more space for that while you eat
“Expectation wasn't just about what people expected of you. It was about what you expected of yourself.” - Brandon Sanderson, _Words of Radiance_
Let's go Brandon!
Being open about our imperfections may be good advice for the most part, but it is prudent to keep in mind that there are narcissistic people who are more than happy to zero in on the vulnerabilities of others and proceed to humiliate them. So it’s probably a good idea not to share too much with people that we don’t know well.
Yeah that's why I mix in jokes of me doing exaggeratedly well or just be silent and own it.
Not necessarily, if you double down on owning it they just look weak/insecure for pushing it. Stand your ground
You're mistaking narcissists for sociopaths. The two traits often go together ( and if you have antisocia behaviour disorder thrown in, you have the trifecta ), but they don't necessarily have to.
Or with people we do know
I agree with this statement. I’m cautious, over sharing vulnerabilities before rapport and trust is established isn’t always a good idea.
The fact that you’re able to identify these characteristics and label them is awesome
Your advice is gold. I used the tactic where I don't stop talking when interrupted and it works like a charm. It even gets the interrupting person to stop talking if you do it right.
Taking up space and your overall presence definitely affects how people treat you. A few months back, I was sitting in the waiting area of a restaurant. A man with his wife sat across from me. He leaned towards me and said, “This is going to sound like a crazy question, but are you a cop”? I said no, and that I worked in tech. “You look organized. You look disciplined”, he responded as he brought his fists together in a flexing motion. It was the most flattering compliment I’ve ever received.
Take care of yourself, be mindful of your posture, dress nice but not over the top, and always be polite. People will notice your confident energy.
#1 sign you are a cop in a restaurant: You order a doughnut for your main course. #2 sign you are a cop in a restaurant: From the moment you walk through the door you look around the room eyeing everyone as though they are guilty of something and you are going to figure it out by the time you are finished with your dinner.
I didn't realize how much of this stuff we do naturally. There are definitely areas of improvement through practice, but I love that we all have a bit of this going for us already. Good luck, everyone!🍀
One thing you forgot to mention: secure ppl speak in an even steady tone, while insecure ppl speak in wildly varying emotional tones. The way you speak directly reflects what is going on inside you.
Word... Keeping cool is the mark of wise.
I'm secure but animated. Always keep them on edge.
Pretty subjective, everyone has their own way of speaking albeit whether they’re insecure or not
Unfortunately, not at all. People who know how to play the game speak calmly and make you believe them whilst making the ones they have hurt look irrational.
Not really. Animated speech (different tones) always reflects independence, individuality and integrity.
Being charismatic on a skype call would be an interesting video for these times
Sit with proper posture, dress nicely even though you're inside your own house, frame your video shot with yourself in the center. If you watch streamers, basically be like one of them on video calls, but still be yourself obviously.
Don't forget to clean the room you're in, mute your mic when you go to sneeze, burp etc.
Steve Ballmer can help!!
Also a video about how to make your text chats more pleasurable for your partner
Light from behind, preferably natural light. Background not too bare or busy. Try to look into camera when talking as looking at the screen makes you look like you’re looking down.
Respect takes years to build: Picture of Will Smith
Respect takes moments to lose: picture of Will Smith
Truth
Best comment
Hah! That's what I was thinking. They used the WRONG symbol here!
I respect him more violence built this world a real man always will attack a threat your a soft gen brainwashed loser
True words
When another person is speaking to you and another person interrupts him, tell the person who interrupts to let the other one finish talking.
This seems to me a smart piece of advice. :-) Thanks Clyde for having shared publicly your intelligence.
I need to find a way to make this advice an habit of mine. In Italy, where I live, it should work well, because, in group situations, many people interrupt each other.
@@taylor_tony You're most welcome. It would command respect from the people around too. It's a good leadership strategy.
Yeah i do that, didn’t know it was some skill.
@@anoldtimer not knowing about it but you still do it earns respect from me ♥️ Keep doing it and watch their reactions to you
I tend to make eye contact with the person that has been interrupted or turn back to them immediately, and nod to indicate I'm still listening and the person who interrupted stops themselves or tapers off until the first speaker is done. I then turn around and give the same attention to the other person 😅. The palpable relief on their faces and how open they become to you is mind blowing. And also subtlely letting the people around you know that you're an objective listener and they don't have to compete to be heard.
Let's face it: we're addicted to five-second sound bites. We've been brainwashed by the media to expect and seek out entertainment to a ridiculous and unhealthy extent.
People have forgotten how to exercise their minds, how to delve more deeply, to listen, to appreciate profundity.
We doubt ourselves and are forced to play games while being surrounded constantly by needy, unhappy fake people. We don't really want to blend in and be accepted by them as much as we need to defend ourselves properly.
All that to say: I love this channel. The number one takeaway here is to continue talking after someone has interrupted you. That elevates you to the power status of the one doing the interrupting. It's tough, something I as well as most people need to become better at.
I hope life is kind to you all today. Please practice kindness. Namaste
Always walk upright with your shoulders square and make strong eye contact. That makes you look formidable and not someone to trifle with. Never look down if you can help it as it makes you appear weak and an easy mark. This is what happens to many victims of daytime crimes like muggings because they exude the appearance of being an easy target.
I surveyed hundreds of incarcerated muggers for a magazine article on this very topic. You’re absolutely right. Exude weakness/distraction and expect to be targeted.
I heard somewhere that you shouldn’t break eye contact first. Like, when you’re walking into a room, or catch someone staring at you, don’t look away first no matter how uncomfortable. It’s a natural posturing and the first to look away is the submissive. Don’t make it weird … You can maintain eye contact with a small smile on your face. Usually the posturing only lasts 10 seconds but it’ll feel like minutes.
Respect is also a mutual thing, if you're respecting of others, people will perceive you differently and respect you before even making contact with one another.
Good god man, you are everywhere, you live inside of youtube? Also you are right about respect being mutual
Just Some Guy without a Mustache
Right! Then you don't need tricks!
I see you f*cking everywhere
After years of trying to do this stuff consciously, I noticed that once I started adopting a holistically healthy outlook and mindset, a lot of these things happened naturally. Of course my social skills have gone down the toilet since quarantine, but it’s a muscle I’ll get back to good form
I think being authentic is the MOST important message of this video. So often, human resources "experts" on TV have given tips regarding how to get a job. Much of the subtext of what they're saying is, "Fake it. Give an impression of being a certain way, not the way you truly are." The tips can be quite detailed, ranging from shoes to hair and from eye contact to posture. The only problem is that, basically, you are selling the employer a lie that you won't be able to maintain - ultimately resulting in the employer's "buyer's remorse" and employee misery. There is a difference between putting your authentic best foot forward and simply play acting. One of the reasons why so many companies have such bad management is that the managers weren't real managers but were, instead, only faking it.
Never judge a book by its cover. Dressing, learning how to walk, how to speak, and how to impress are all part of the way a book looks.
But eventually - people open the book and start looking at the content. And that's where all the "tips on how to impress" fly right out of the window.
Exactly.
People are more revealing than book covers. Even a book cover can tell you a lot about the contents of the book. Don't just accept what is presented in images, colors and words on the cover. Look for what you can see the book cover is covering. A book cover is not always intended or designed to be inviting. Many covers are designed to prevent people from reading the book.
When it comes to owning your shortcomings. It reminds me of a quote from Tyrion Lannister- "Never forget what your are, the world will not. Wear your flaws like armour and it can never be used against you."
Or another worthwhile quote worth remembering from Thomas Dolby is - She Blinded Me With Science
How do you do that without resorting to self-deprecating humor all the time?
"If we are no longer a house to be feared then we DO NOT command respect."
That video about him was one of my favorites from C.O.C.
I wouldn't respect anyone who wanted to be feared.
MastaSmack .. Watch Tywin Lannister’s breakdown on respect. There’s more to it than what I said.
"Excuse me for talking, while you're interrupting!"
Way to prove you're the whiniest person in the group. Go you!
I reckon this channel is the reason I feel a lot more joy lately. Much appreciated
"Most westerners are uncomfortable with platonic touching"
I thought I was the only one who observed that.
I'm old now but even as a teenager I've always been a ambiguous toucher, touching a girl's hand or her shoulder while laughing or talking with her. It also helps to take dancing or a martial art which requires touching like Judo. Then you wouldn't be afraid to touch people up close.
Yeah alot of men in America don't like to be touched. One touch from another man is like alright,but when a man keeps touching you. You gotta say what the f_ck man. We don't kiss each other either, but hey I won't judge other folks it's just not our thing.
@@freevirtualhypnosis touching girls, I get that.
That is ridiculous and completely wrong. You don’t know what your talking about …..clearly.
Don't touch anyone unless you're in a relationship with them. Otherwise you're asking for trouble. It pisses people off and usually makes them uncomfortable.
I like stopping people talking mid sentence. It's so easy. Just press skip ad.
Costas Mamais
Very funny! Thank you for that! Really made me laugh!
That’s so rude
@@tropicalcandyland6266 hihihihiii why?
“Just press skip ad.” Got it.
‘Took me a second, but I got it.
Rofl
i have always been super introverted and shy and i'm so glad i've discovered your channel these past weeks. i have a big family and i'm already seeing improvements in how they respect me when i'm talking and how they react to my stories. i can't wait to apply these tips to my life after quarantine. sometimes i struggle with supporting my friends during deep conversations. i'm usually a great listener but i would really appreciate a video on keeping those situations comfortable and helpful. this channel is doing so many amazing things and i am so grateful for all the tips you have given me. thanks ;)
Touch. right time. Right place. Right WAY.
This makes me happy. Good to hear. Thanks for sharing the positivity 🙌🏻🙂
“Keep your head high and don’t apologise unless you absolutely have to. Then do it once, loudly and clearly. Never whine, never plead, never gush. Think before you speak to a person and when you have to, use few words. People respect the silent, they despise the garrulous.”
This is a paraphrased quote
this is good, in a toxic situation, remain professional
@@sashanealand8315 thank you, I whole heartedly agree. To my shame I can never quite remember the origin of the quote nor the exact words so when I do online searches I can’t get an answer but I’ll find it one day
I used to work for a man who had been the Dean of Students at a local college. He would say, “Good grammar and good manners will get you a long way”. I also agree with dressing one level above. It was an unwritten rule in the large corporation where I worked that you should dress like someone in the position you want to attain. I will never understand why teachers no longer dress professionally, when they could command more respect that way, and at the same time set a good example for students.
I like that. Dress like the position you want to attain. Great advice
Because 'dressing well' costs money that local taxpayers are unwilling to raise for teachers' salaries. You get what you pay for.
You’re right. I wore my expensive, well fitting costumes which absolutely got me more money and advancement at the workplace. Now that I’m retired, I revel in dressing down, no makeup, unkempt hair. There’s a sense of freedom and joy.
I've had a ton of sales training and I can say this is all 100% legit. Great video.
I'm always overdressed a bit and people compliment me on my style all the time, even though i only have a few designer pieces and the rest is zara, mango and h&m but it's important to not overpay for plastic and get nice fabrics like linen and wool etc
Same. I don’t think my style is anything extra special, I just wear what I like but I’m always complimented. I think its a lot about you wear the clothes and not let them wear you.
@TEE PERO true
First... be comfortable in your own skin... all else is just covering that up...
If you refrain from boho cuts, synthetics, embellishments and limited prints …fit and fabric is 90% of it.
Instant respect is usually short lived as respect and trust are earned little by little
I have a rule that proves me right every single time. Whenever I join a new group of people - all my flags go up by those who introduce themselves as my new friends - they are those who learned how to impress.
That sounds good but isn't true. Instant respect may lose a little shine but it is rarely lost quickly once you have given it. Most people are not that quick to change their opinions. The only time they are quick to change their opinions is if they suddenly realize their point of view does not align with those present. Think about Homer Simpson when he went to college and did not get the joke everyone else was laughing at then the next opportunity he is the only one in the auditorium laughing.
Poor Jaden. He's been talked over too many times on this channel.
Mercy him, Charlie.
Will like showed him how to do it. He should learn more things with his father.
😂
Ick. Why does he insist on kissing his son on the lips in public. The kid looks mortified.
@@user-ib6cj1ys8e back at ya
@@hanksh7285 Maybe he was more passive around his father. I'll bet he's more assertive around his peers. He's charming and articulate just like his father.
I want to add to the being cut off line of the episode, if you do give up on a sentence, a gesture and a "go ahead" gives your permission to the other person taking control. They may be talking now, but they're acting with your blessing, which is huge.
if someone interrupts you they are already acting without your blessing. Trying to make up for it by giving them a faux permission just makes you look like a pushover
@@morighani I'll guess that it is in the manner of doing it all. It does seem hard to pull off however
"People judge you on how *you* perceive your shortcomings".
Brilliant.
I tend to talk over people - not due to disrespect - but rather because I get excited and don’t want to “lose” my thought because my memory is terrible. I actually appreciate when people I know just calmly turn around and say, ok - just let them finish. They know it’s just my impulsivity and not disregard for the speaker. Point. At my age, I’m still learning! ☝️👍🏻✌️
Not cool
"Charisma is a sparkle in people that money can't buy. It's an invisible energy with visible effects."
- Marianne Williamson
HYPER O just paying for the advice doesn’t impart charisma, you have to implement the advice and nurture that “sparkle”
HYPER O what? You do realize there’s a difference between charisma, an intangible personality trait, and advice, right?
Word...
@@hypercept The good ones do usually have a natural charisma.
One trick I do for “don’t allow yourself to be cut off” is when someone interupts you, stop the conversation and more importantly them, amd say something along the lines like “hey so n so, I do want to hear what you have to say but let me finish what I have to say first ok?” Then if they do it again you can get more mad. Lots of people just talk louder when people interrupt, but that is childish so you do not want to do that, instead do what I told you
"Practice what you preach", "walk your talk" whatever! this video has just commanded me to respect it. Not just that, it definitely is psychological but surely not a trick. Man you're such a keen observer. You proved it in every clip. Great job! I learned and am inspired. Thank you.
That's interesting because there was a time, there were like 10 people in a hostel in Rio de Janeiro, everybody interacting when this guy arrives and starts overtalking, his voice was loud and he was catching our attention kinda filling the whole space. In the begging it was "okay, let's listen to the story the eloquent guy has to tell", but then when other people would try to participate he would always interrupt them and just talk about himself... After 20 minutes of boring non-stop talk I got up in the middle of his speech and said "excuse-me guys, the conversation is really nice here but I gotta go" everyone started laughing, saying "yeah, it's late already..." so I think he got the message as half of us left the place. Interrupting either kills the vibe or breaks the ice, it's all about when and how hahah
Be awesome and everything will fall in place.
"Be excellent to each other...and....PARTY ON DUDES! "
*Perfect timing!* 💃
1 level nicer, fitting clothing, and dominate the space alone will get anyone so freakin far. 💯
Thank you as always!🔥🔥🔥
Thanks for watching my movies and I really appreciate it and I love you..
"most westerners are awkward with physical contact"
*Laughing in Italian*
Francesco Gulisano LOL!!!
Are Italians known for lots of physical contact?
@@brandonbrown435 pretty much yes
@@brandonbrown435 as every latin country like Spain or France
soo teach us italian masternim..;)
what are casual touches you do that you recommend to do?
Often let people cut me off during a sentence and you explained that just perfect.
It is more about ''wanting to respect the person'' while literaly beeing disrespected.
Being in sales, this helps a lot with customers.
#3 can be tricky though. When in college for my education degree we were taught “do not touch students ever, in any way” and even touching other teachers was discouraged to avoid harassment allegations. So there’s that concern.
Also, I personally do not like to be touched and I immediately feel an aversion to people who try to touch me (beyond a handshake or whatever) who I do not already know extremely well and am already comfortable around.
Good point. No way I will let another man touch me because most men feel the need to assert dominance which they do by putting their arm across your shoulders as one would with a younger brother or a child. Do not touch me, I am not your pet or your woman f f s
Absolutely do not touch people, ever. In male to female interactions, limit all engagement to a nod, a hello, and strictly current work topics. Or spend a decade and a few hundred thousand dollars.
@@ingridwentzel6365 Exactly
This, to be honest is very much a cultural thing…Particularly in the US and to a lesser extent in the U.K.. In many European countries, particularly France, Spain and Italy, touch is far more important and common. Friends and acquaintances, both female and male very often greet each other with an embrace or a kiss to the cheek..it is quite normal and not regarded as creepy…though it has to be said , creepy is very obvious, there is a clear difference.
Yeah if you've just met someone, you have no business touching them.
It also annoys me when salesmen approach you cold and stick their hand out like you'd want to shake it for some reason.
It's like 'mate, I don't know you, I don't want to know you, I'm not interested in anything you have to say... much less sell... why tf would I wanna grab your manky mitt that's already putrid with the residue from your last 50 handshakes.
F**k. Off.'
Here is the best one.
Quit giving a damn what others think.
Be yourself and love yourself.
👍👍👍👍👍👍
If your trying. Its wrong!!😎😎😎
Yeah, we did that and it didn’t work. That’s why we’re here
I stumbled upon this video. I don't care about impressing anyone or getting attention. I don't care what people think of me and I'm not going to put on a show to gain anyone's favor.
1:29 Video:"You need to physically take up more space in a room just like Tony Robbins is doing here"
Tony Robbins: 6'7 Giant.
Accused recently of sexual improprieties, lol.
@@bramblebop1904 - Always got a bad vibe from this giant creep.
Yeah, lol. He was big in the 90s, horseteeth and all.
Works better for Tony than for Gary Coleman.
🤣🤣🤣
I'd love to see some features of women's confident behavior also
Arina Iz the ones he did on Emilia Clarke and Margot Robbie were great
@@alexwright5419 oh thanks! I haven't seen the Margot Robbie's one yet
I think most of the points here apply same for women, these are simply general tips for assertiveness
As a man, here is the number one trait I think makes a woman look confident. Look people in the eye and hold their gaze.
@@arinaiz9178 He also covered Aubrey Plaza
Having Will Smith in the intro as an example of people who command respect hasn't aged well. 😂
Neither was the clip of him making fun of his big ears.
really, it didn't go down well
Or Russell Brand
he still deserves respect. one instance of behavior doesn’t define a human being
Trump, Will Smith, Russell, Peterson... The advice isnt bad, but the examples are peculiar.
So one very important thing I discovered when I was in my early 20's, and it still sticks to me to this day, is my belief that "CONFIDENCE IS KEY," that quote I made myself to remind myself. Now I started to realize this when I was self-aware of being super shy, didn't approach girls, and didn't know how to talk to them. I don't want to attribute it to weed but after I started smoking weed and relaxing a little around other people and just acting myself I started to realize that having confidence in acting yourself and accepting yourself for who you are brings MANY benefits in almost all aspects of your life.
It has helped me in my work life, my personal life and helped me be successful in both. Confidence is key.
Back in 2018 I was working a corporate job and a restaurant job at the same time to make ends meet and I would always change out of my tie and slacks and put on street clothes for my restaurant job. But one day I decided to continue wearing my dress clothes and surprisingly a lot of customers showed me more respect than usual and that’s when I realized that my overall image plays a big part in the way that people perceive me
They probably thought you ran the place, lol.
Maybe it's time for me to accept that the appearance (clothes etc) changes the way you are perceived. I still find it superficial and it annoys me. When I go to work at my workshop, I don't put on makeup, have my hair in a simple practical bun etc. because I don't want to be seen as too feminine/superficial - it's still mostly a male domain and I want to be estimated for my work rather than my look. We have mandatory workwear anyway, so the difference would be only details. But I think I have to realize the strategy doesn't work the way I expected, so... I might try something different... I will give account ;)
It's funny, I do a lot of these naturally, and I think people would say I exude a confidence. I had never quantified it like this before, this is super enlightening!
I have a very successful friend who does all those things. She’s an amazing person.
That is, if you give a damn what people think about you. I don't go around trying to gain the respect of strangers; but I don't ever let my friends, coworkers, or acquaintances cut me off or interrupt my speech.
I would say respect is earned by how present you are in any particular situation!
Also important is to give the boss an incredibly expensive present at Christmas
Thank you so much for mentioning Jordan Peterson. He so misrepresented and people dont know how sensible, well thought out he is and how many lives he changed for the better.
The Pop Culture references really do help us understand way more.
Another tip is to genuinely be friendly and your demeanor and touching should reflect that. You're not just doing it to be liked, but doing it because you like them. People know when you're fake.
The part with jaden and Will was golden. I really be feeling like jaden sometime! In that clip
well if youre interested he has one video only about that
🤗
P
I appreciate your video. I feel it is important feedback to you that for women, a lot of these suggestions backfire in my experience. Of course I am almost 6 feet tall in flats so I have that to deal with as it is counter to my gender role, confusing things for many people. Confusion isn’t a good first impression. So I have to be especially conscious of the constraints of being a female.
1- upgrade thin slice - it definitely works to upgrade your dress. but women have to be extremely careful to finesse the line between being too “fancy” and feminine (not taken seriously) or too “plain” and masculine (butch, aggressive). This is oversimplified but gives you a start. Throw in skirt length, sleeve length, color, pattern, form fitted, loose, sexy vs frigid, and you get an idea.
2- take up more space. Similar to 1, too much movement, you seem inappropriately aggressive or too little: timid and tight assed. I know this is silly, but imagine it, say Peggy Olsen in Mad Men, mimicking Draper. It would be really weird to see her man-spreading across a couch as Draper sits demurely on the edge.
3- platonic touch. I think women are freer to touch people than men are so this is one plus. Of course touching a man is fraught with hazards. Even a shoulder pat can be considered flirting by some men. Female touch can be considered manipulative. Think of an actress in an old movie seductively touching a man’s suit collar or tie. It’s completely inappropriate especially if you are the man’s superior!
4- don’t allow yourself to be cut off. This is “Karen” behavior. I’m sorry but women who aren’t the outranking executive do not get to do this or they risk being labeled something rhyming with glitch. It is a paradox because if you let people interrupt you then you appear to be weak. You can’t win unless you can have graceful quickness that slips gently in and returns the focus to you. Hillary Clinton, for all her faults is excellent at this.
Also Hillary is excellent at not letting her voice go high. Women’s voices, when raised, like in your example, often go up in pitch and take on a whiny, screechy (fingernails down the blackboard) quality which instantly destroys any credibility you may have. Think of Elizabeth Warren in the 2020 Dem primary debates. Once again, Hilary Clinton has this down and lowered her pitch when she raised her voice.
5- compliment your competition. I think this is ok if you are very careful. Women have multilevel subtexts. it is difficult, especially with when the person you are complimenting is female. Women learn young how to use the backhanded compliment and fake friendship like a master swordsman uses a rapier. Also it can make you seem weak (women default to weak until they repeatedly show evidence to the contrary)
5- openly share your shortcomings. This rarely works for women in my opinion. Instead of admiration for admitting human fallibility, it instead reinforces the stereotype that you are incompetent or fishing for compliments. It backfires badly with men as the audience, who frankly don’t take women seriously on a deep subconscious level, even if they are trying to be fair.
None of these issues are anyone’s fault, women react the same as men do to other women. It is just a fact of life and not something to be bitter about. Women have other strengths.
This comment is meant as a consciousness raising. Since you are men, it is entirely understandable that you didn’t think about it this way.
It would be cool if you could do some compare and contrast videos to explore how women’s and men’s behavior is perceived differently and how to optimize both.
I would especially appreciate getting the male perspective on how women’s behavior and speech is perceived.
Thanks!
Very insightful remarks. As a woman, it makes a lot of sense and confirms what i've seen in the workplace but hadn't fully formulated to myself.
You've made some good points - for people who need to be liked, accepted, etc. because they're business people. But if it's friends you seek - be you, whoever and however you are. Anything else is beneath you.
Very good points! A lot of times when people see confident women, it is instinctual to try to bring them down because a lot of folks were raised thinking women should be meek and demure. I'm FtM and still look like a woman to some people, so I still get this treatment on occasion. Especially if I'm doing something in a male dominated field like playing metal music.
Thank you, Stephanie A. You said what I was thinking. I was wondering why, except for Oprah, there were no women featured.
Thank you!
I’m a piece of bread, I’m universally touched every day...
I absolutely stop talking when I'm interrupted because I want to be heard. It saves my energy not competing for space to talk. I simply say to the interupter; "I'm sure what you're saying is important to you and you probably want me to listen to you, but it's impossible to hear you when I'm talking." This way you're asking for respect while showing respect, which folks seem to respond to more positively.
I hate when people cut my sentences. And they don't do it anymore.
SAME.
aLLAN aBANI what did you change?
toni3393 I just tell them that I didn’t finish to talk. It was hard to say it at first but when you say it a couple times and that you see people understanding. It becomes normal. It’s like saying « no ». Try it a few times, you can smile when you say it it may be better, depends on the situation of course.
Sounds like you killed them lol
I can try to use that trick after this. Thanks!
It's very true that you shouldn't capriciously cut someone off in a conversation. I was cut off in my conversation by one who should know better, which meant either of two things, or both, which is that he didn't think what I had to say was important or that he thought that what he had to say was more important. Immediately afterwards I took all my business to one of his competitors.
In my experience, you let all this come to you naturally. Achieve your goals and it will all come on its own
Although it’s good to know all this
Quite possibly you make it because this comes to you. That's how it worked for me.
I have a very overbearing supervisor who cuts me off and talks over me constantly - this is going to be helpful in meetings going forward.
As a psychologist, these concepts or "tricks" aren't unfamiliar to me, but I've come to learn them experience over time. Being an introvert, small in size, and soft-spoken while working in a field and in settings that are predominately male, it can be challenging to find that balance between coming across as a pushover versus aggressive. Interestingly, these things do work, although I have not perfected them by any means, lol. Great video!
Your voice overs are worth a subscription and worth the price of admission. Your voice itself is a million-dollar voice. Your voice should be in movies if you're not
The key is confidence, no matter who you are right now. If we are trying to learn the bits and pieces of being confident, it just goes to show that we are not confident.
I have been repeatedly exposed to the very real possibility of having my self confidence misunderstood for arrogance by people that have less of a justification in their own confidence.
I've never heard of "thin slice" in my life 😂
Read the book called blink by Malcolm Gladwell
In business classes, they call it your "elevator ad" or "30-second commercial."
I dress like the village people
@@firstandlastswagman269 All of them?!
Me neither
The 8 miles could be the most epic scene of how you should expose your shortcoming
I love Jordan Peterson. He knows his info like the back of his hand and is open to hearing the opposition.
It just boils down to appreciating yourself and feeling worth in your own eyes
Yes - it's actually impossible to fake
Getting a relationship with my main man, Jesus Christ, has changed my life and I have an inner joy that is not affected by circumstances. Give Him a try.
Always dress well.
Back in the mid 90's I invested in a bespoke English business suit. I swear it got me the job I went after...not just the look but the confidence it gave me. It also worked with the ladies 😁
Summary: Looking Confident makes a huge difference
I need to work on that!
Read The 48 Laws of Power and then unironically implement it. It works for cult, religious and political leaders, so it may work for you. Basically, be a cold, calculated psychopath.
Its the most important aspect , but its not that easy man
@@manictiger I just read the synopsis and the index; this appears to be a very interesting read. Thanks!
Quick things about clothes: something inexpensive, but tailored, always looks better than something expensive but poorly fit, which you touched on. Another thing is that wearing big bold labels or logos is generally seen as a way of desperately saying "Look at me and the brand!" which is against self-confidence.
Lastly, shoes. Yes, shoes. I remember a study where women tend to notice a man's shoes very quickly and judge them by it. Actually, I will take note if someone's shoes are unpolished, in disrepair, or otherwise cheap looking (there are quality shoes at affordable prices). If you invest in good quality shoes, and keep them looking great and maintained, it shows that you recognize quality and take care of it. Same could be said of sunglasses - one quality pair that fit you well, which are highly maintained, speak volumes.
And the best trick that I learned IS: Relax and be yourself everywhere and all the time.
Yes confidence.
The rich spend money to save time while the poor Save money to spend time
Successful people don't become that way overnight. What most people see at a glance-wealth, a great career, purpose-is the result of hard work and hustle over time.
@@tianalucas8147 Yeah! I agree with you sir.If you want to be successful have the mindset of the rich, spend less and invest More. Don't give up your dreams.
People come here with the aim of chasing money more than knowledge and that will damage your progress, trust me. Chase knowledge first and I promise! The money will follow you just like it's following some of us now.
@@juliagoncalves4082 That's very correct
And that is why most of them end up losing they money don't be in a haste to invest. Know what and who you are investing to and be sure that the person will deliver before I n v e s t I n g.
Learn and get the knowledge first before investing..
People wants to do what the 99% does but wants to get results that are fit for the 1%, but it doesn't work that way