dude, your homophobia is showing. this is not "being an ally"

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ต.ค. 2024
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    dude, your home of phobia is showing. this is not "being an ally"
    #lgbt #gay #lgbtq

ความคิดเห็น • 1.1K

  • @YaBoiXats
    @YaBoiXats ปีที่แล้ว +2431

    Idk whether or not you expected me to see this video. I honestly didn’t know if you were serious about making the video until I checked. I feel so dumb now. At that moment I was really ignorant and was sticking to my opinion and now that I look back at it, I was just losing the whole time. I worded everything wrong, wasn’t thinking about what I was doing, and never wanted to listen to what you were saying. You were right the entire time and I lost too many brain cells to realize. I feel like the better way to say my original comment is
    -“I’m an ally of lgbt and one thing that annoys me is when some people constantly assume sexualities”
    I’m honestly glad that I spent 23 minutes to educate myself on something I didn’t know enough about. Not to mention I was arguing with an adult so there was really no way I could’ve won. Again with my friend, they’re a pansexual who loves protecting and defending others and they were most likely fueled by rage(btw they wanted to do that, I didn’t tell them to do it). I also realized that there are other communities that may “force” or push something of their own onto others. But yea other than that I just wanted to apologize for wasting your time with such a dumb argument.

    • @FredericChen
      @FredericChen  ปีที่แล้ว +1558

      all is forgiven

    • @z3r0nxx
      @z3r0nxx ปีที่แล้ว +184

      @@abcxyz2927 💀

    • @quoofle
      @quoofle ปีที่แล้ว +144

      Yay! GROWTH! ❤

    • @robolxgod5423
      @robolxgod5423 ปีที่แล้ว +119

      @@abcxyz2927i think i’m going to need a time stamp showing him saying anything equating to that🤣

    • @robolxgod5423
      @robolxgod5423 ปีที่แล้ว +189

      @@abcxyz2927growth is learning how to be open to a different point of view and fredrick helped this person do that….

  • @antanimates2788
    @antanimates2788 ปีที่แล้ว +2593

    telling someone you're an ally, and then hating them for talking about news that AFFECTS THEM because they are queer, is not being an ally, it's tolerance at best

    • @celshadedx
      @celshadedx ปีที่แล้ว +126

      Yeah my friend said "Oh well its not the end of the world is it?" when I sent her a link to an article talking about how trans people could be removed from the 2010 equality act..

    • @corinneeaglebridge
      @corinneeaglebridge ปีที่แล้ว +79

      My sibling and I are both queer (and both autistic) and my dad keeps changing the conversation when we talk about news that affects us, especially if it’s negative news. He keeps acting like we’re taking it all too seriously and personally and like we just need to calm down, and my mom keeps taking his side when we call him out on it. What I’m trying to say is this comment is extremely validating thank you so much

    • @antanimates2788
      @antanimates2788 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@corinneeaglebridge yeah I'm in the same situation (also queer and autistic) and I know how frustrating it can be, glad to hear that comment was validating

    • @someoldytaccount
      @someoldytaccount ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@corinneeaglebridge If you need something to tell either of them to stop and listen to either of you, tell them that autism is actually genetically inherited and that for both of you to have it, not only does one parent need to have the specific genetic factors but it's likely that both of your parents have them. Chaos is fun!

    • @ariannarivera8254
      @ariannarivera8254 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@celshadedx that’s horrible I am a straight ally at that’s disgusted someone would say that shouldn’t even be happening

  • @redamonguscharacter5024
    @redamonguscharacter5024 ปีที่แล้ว +916

    “they support our silence” THIS THIS this is what i’ve been trying to put into words!!!!

    • @DinosaurNick
      @DinosaurNick ปีที่แล้ว

      My brother (not the one from my previous comment. My other brother) is a closeted bi but is so brainwashed by his Christian mother that he's a closeted bisexual homo/transphobe
      My brother: Bisexual
      Also my brother: LGBT+ need to stay in the closet. idk why they're all coming out suddenly. Being quiet worked for them in the 30s. And you can only be bi if you're single, cheating, or poly. Once you choose a partner you turn either straight or gay.

    • @yeelanma9165
      @yeelanma9165 ปีที่แล้ว

      If ur violent u will be killed so u have no other option

    • @Iknowuknowleeeknow143
      @Iknowuknowleeeknow143 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      i feel you!

  • @vleriii
    @vleriii ปีที่แล้ว +1019

    I was recently talking to my friend and she brought up Heartstopper and its second season coming up. Then she started talking about how she loves gay shows, but specifically mlm shows. She said that she's supportive and all of that, but as she continued talking, turns out she hates queer people, except for when she can fetishize mlm. Sooo, we're not really friends anymore...

    • @FredericChen
      @FredericChen  ปีที่แล้ว +461

      THE FETISHIZATION HAS GOT TO GO

    • @DinosaurNick
      @DinosaurNick ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ewww glad you got rid of THAT trash

    • @snake_whirlpool
      @snake_whirlpool ปีที่แล้ว +118

      I had such girls in high school and university. It was kind of awkward. I thought that that’s all. It can’t be worse. Little did I know.
      I’m a genderqueer afab person, I didn’t come out, so all people, except my closest friends saw me as a woman.
      In high school one of those girls used to fetishize wlw as well as mlm, they used to drink together and kiss each other.
      I don’t want to shame anyone but after that they used to tell me that we’re the same. I don’t care what other people do, yet I remember that feeling of being kind of devalued because they came home after these parties, woke up in the morning and started living they straight life as usual, while I couldn’t just quit my “lifestyle”.
      It was really strange, almost like those young women somehow “male-gazed” each other.
      I don’t want to sound judgmental, I really don’t.
      Am I the only one who saw cishet women doing such things?

    • @DinosaurNick
      @DinosaurNick ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@snake_whirlpool I never saw cishet women do those things, no... I'm sorry you went through that.

    • @Ranger881
      @Ranger881 ปีที่แล้ว +94

      @@snake_whirlpool When i identified as a cis lesbian in highschool there was a girl in my friendgroup who constantly would flirt with me and other girls* in front of our male friends, always later insisting she was straight. Given the type of person I now know her to be, I think she both wanted male attention by putting on a show for them, and to make us feel ashamed for our genuine queer feelings. Not exactly the same but it was really fucking weird. I know in retrospect (through friends' accounts of her behavior in private) that she's a horrible person. So yeah I do relate to this.
      *I'm nb/trans :)

  • @isabaee
    @isabaee ปีที่แล้ว +787

    there was a girl in my school who was openly lesbian that had this group of friends that constantly made fun of her because she “made being gay her personality.” every time she left the room they were quick to talk about how they weren’t against the lgbtq community but hated how she exploited the fact that she was part of it. it made me feel so bad for her and im glad she ended up switching schools and stopped interacting with those people.

    • @dans.ta.maman9966
      @dans.ta.maman9966 ปีที่แล้ว +112

      It's so hard to be in a group of people, as the only queer person, and then they start being homphobic or start saying hetero-normative stuff. I was in a situation like that recently with some family that i don't see often. Usually i would speak up but in that situation I didn't feel safe at all. Those kind of people (the ones that u r mentioning) are the worst kind im sorry

    • @cactus2260
      @cactus2260 ปีที่แล้ว

      A lot of fake allies are ok with "the lgbt community" in the abstract but when they meet an lgbt person irl they just excuse their bigoted stuff on "well i dont hate the lgbt community just this specific lgbt being too loud".
      Its like the reverse of the "i have lgbt friends so im not a bigot,, i just dont like the lgbt community because they are too loud"

    • @isabaee
      @isabaee ปีที่แล้ว +78

      @@dans.ta.maman9966 they are so quick to insist that they aren’t homophobic its embarrassing. if they actually supported lgbtq like they say they do, then it wouldn’t bother them.

    • @dans.ta.maman9966
      @dans.ta.maman9966 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@isabaee exactly. if they weren't homophobic, they wouldn't need to insist in the first place. Sometimes I question whether or not these types of people actually use any of the brain cells that they have left

    • @Ajia_No_Envy
      @Ajia_No_Envy ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Making 'being gay' your entire personality is something people would do if they face prevalent homophobia or discrimination as them being gay is at the forefront of their life. I know when I first came out that was low key me for a few months. I realised that I didn't like how I was and wanted to go back to my personality before I came out, so I did. It was because I had gotten over the obstacles of coming out and other hardship. But coming out and fully realising my sexuality was also an important part of my life. Sexuality is an inherent feature of humans, whether it's there or not. It is important to know what make you happy, especially in a society that pushes the narrative of love, families and romance (or live, laugh, love lol).

  • @ml37856
    @ml37856 ปีที่แล้ว +350

    i’m a lesbian and i dealt with a lot of internalized homophobia before coming out at 20, but the argument i always had with myself was “why do you need to be so outwardly gay?”. i wanted so badly to “look” and “act” straight. it was already hard enough being at college and being in straight spaces. i began to realize that i felt uncomfortable trying to “look” and “act” straight because queerness makes up every fiber of who i am. if people can’t accept my queerness then they can’t accept ME.

    • @spacebaby508
      @spacebaby508 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      I'm glad I can relate to some one

    • @iidentifyasaPSLGoddess
      @iidentifyasaPSLGoddess ปีที่แล้ว

      What does that even mean? Why do gay people dress weirdly, I'm not trying to troll, but I've seen a lot of gay people who act normally you would not know they were gay, why do you have to force yourself to look "straight" isn't that normal dressing? Why can't you just be, like just be, but be attracted to same sx .
      I'm not trying to be rude I'm just curious, why do gay people dress up in costumes, does that come with the package or are we straight people the weird boring ones? I'm just genuinely confused. Like for example drag queens??? Why do you want to look like that, it looks ugly & monstrous to me. Not to mention odd colored dyed hair, why must you be gay and have purple hair?
      I'm going to confess, these reasons are why me and others think you guys aren't normal, just being honest here, if you guys weren't so extravagant, but just looked like Bob & Mike next door couple, many people would respect you more, just saying, you guys act like children in an adult society. Don't come for its an honest truth of mine, NOT TRYING TO TROLL (

  • @RidleyRose
    @RidleyRose ปีที่แล้ว +1065

    The fact that people have problems with drag queens reading at libraries is stupid, drag queens are people, and what's funny is people "assume" kids are gonna be confused by it, but when my younger sister saw a drag queen all she said was, "pretty" and then complimented the drag queens outfit, and THEN proceeded to ask for taco bell

    • @jalapeno1119
      @jalapeno1119 ปีที่แล้ว +213

      Kids really don't care 😂

    • @RidleyRose
      @RidleyRose ปีที่แล้ว +225

      @@jalapeno1119 for real, it's the hetero-normative people who make their kids confused about it by making it a negative thing

    • @loner844
      @loner844 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      I feel it’s just willful ignorance, like they wanna hate no matter what.

    • @annieliina
      @annieliina ปีที่แล้ว +82

      i don't think kids even realize that drag queens are men unless their parents or someone else has specifically taught that to them

    • @marocat4749
      @marocat4749 ปีที่แล้ว +71

      Its no worse than disney mascots, or other goofy stuff, i presume if its familyfriendly drag it goes for goofy. Not that goofy.
      Maybe , just maybe kids like creative costumes. hmm. including drag. And isnt prejudiced, or scared.

  • @silvxrjae
    @silvxrjae ปีที่แล้ว +711

    what do i do when someone says “you queers stole…”? its so annoying, like hun, we didnt steal the rainbow, stop being annoying✋😃

    • @FredericChen
      @FredericChen  ปีที่แล้ว +297

      You don’t talk to them! Show them examples of things they stole, if they’re white you can say US land

    • @dans.ta.maman9966
      @dans.ta.maman9966 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      OMG YES i've heard this so many times. my dad's not like homphobic but like he is a middle aged straight white man so yk the vibes. anyways he will use gay instead of happy sometimes and then will say the same thing.

    • @marocat4749
      @marocat4749 ปีที่แล้ว

      Dont ask what is stolen from blak culture, granted some from white queers from black woman i guess but way more ...
      Also the queercoding is basically stiolen a lot.

    • @theSkin_of_a_Killer_Bella
      @theSkin_of_a_Killer_Bella ปีที่แล้ว +26

      I would point out that it’s nothing fucking new. That’s what happens in society. The meaning of things change and are adapted on both large & small scales (ex: Randy Newman is a well known singer, with many popular songs in the 1970s. But as of now, there is a good chance that when ppl hear his name they picture Toy Story. Things change). If you wish to view that as “stealing”, then go off.
      We could very easily go onto a topic of _other_ examples of stealing of “mundane things”.
      More importantly in this is like- who are we to question what people did to support their own movements and communities? If the LGBTQIA found that the rainbow was fit for their purpose at the time, then so be it. Why the hell is someone (related to the community or not) going to question what others used as symbols for their own rights? We weren’t there, the overall use of the rainbow doesn’t hurt anyone, nor is it even critical bad usage of the rainbow in the first place. At the end of the day, ppl who ask and say that shit are experiencing a problem of their own.
      That’s not something to be taken up with the community, that’s a you problem.

    • @GoodWormDoctor
      @GoodWormDoctor ปีที่แล้ว +72

      "Those gays stole the rainbow from god"
      Ah yes, as a gay, i do recall when we teamed up and collectively stole the rainbow from an omnipotent all powerful *god.*

  • @구르미-w3y
    @구르미-w3y ปีที่แล้ว +322

    I grew up in Korea -- aka VERY heteronormative. I didn't know queer people existed until I was in middle school(reading trials of apollo and getting confused on why a male character had a boyfriend), and around that time I realized how 'girlish' boys were being called 'gay' as an insult. There was noone to teach me what being queer was, what homophobia was, and what wasn't blatant homophobia but hurt queer people anyways. I have been through stages where I was ignorant, and could've really hurt people(luckily I had no friends and no social media, meaning I didn't talk to anyone enough to hurt them) and now I'm very ashamed of my past thoughts. I am now very vocal about human rights, at least as much as I can be with peoples looking so uncomfortable about it. Sometimes it's like only I'm the only one who really cares, or even 'believes' that the lgbtqia+ community exists.
    I don't know if I am queer or if I'm just a confused straight(I have had a total of 0 crushes in my life) but I will always raise my voice.
    also i dont know how to end this so 🌈🌈🌈 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!🌈🌈🌈

    • @leieryx1323
      @leieryx1323 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      oh I read those books too!
      And yeah it takes time to unlearn. It still means a lot that you’re trying now! nobody’s perfect especially when you have less knowledge :V
      I hope things go well and you can find a community there that makes you feel more welcome in that aspect :0
      Also if you want to look into it a little it sounds like maybe you might be aromantic/asexual? Of course that’s something for you to figure out, and it’s chill if you’d rather be cool unidentified! i just know it’s not as well known, although more people know it now!
      Anyway I’ll stop typing so much :0 best luck :>🍀

    • @nicatina
      @nicatina ปีที่แล้ว +25

      I hope you're doing ok now and still recovering from all of this, we all dealt with ignorance due to poor teachings and bad parenting. Your past doesn't define who you are now as person. Thank you for your support. 💕

    • @heytheresport
      @heytheresport ปีที่แล้ว +25

      hi! have you ever heard the term "aroace"? aroace means someone who doesnt feel sexual and romantic attraction. maybe youre aroace, considering you said you never had any crushes, or maybe youre just aromantic (someone can be asexual, aka the ace part of aroace, meaning you only feel romantic attraftion, and someone else can be aromantic, only feeling sexual attraction)
      i hope that helps!

    • @arrowace21477
      @arrowace21477 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      yeah i read rick riordan books and learned a lot about queer people and i am also now questioning and also suspect i am aroace

  • @mothmankickflip
    @mothmankickflip ปีที่แล้ว +271

    it's so hard unlearning the shame of being "wrong", but it's so much nicer being open to learning and growth and other perspectives as opposed to being stubborn, close-minded, and getting upset when someone tells you that you're wrong. That's not worth the energy tbh.

  • @DinosaurNick
    @DinosaurNick ปีที่แล้ว +1900

    My brother is a homophobic transphobic 'ally'
    He said "I support LGBT I have LGBT family and friends.
    Him to my gay nephew: It's just a phase
    Him in response to his lesbian/bi daughter having a GF: I'll never have grandkids
    Him to me: You're just confused about your gender
    Him talking about me: Deadname, misgender, wrong pronouns

    • @notanormalcivilian65
      @notanormalcivilian65 ปีที่แล้ว +122

      i'm done fr now

    • @DinosaurNick
      @DinosaurNick ปีที่แล้ว +62

      @@notanormalcivilian65 same -_-

    • @dans.ta.maman9966
      @dans.ta.maman9966 ปีที่แล้ว +71

      I am so sorry. I don't even know what else to say

    • @espeon871
      @espeon871 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      Really?? Jesus he's so far gone he's convinced that he's not wrong

    • @notanormalcivilian65
      @notanormalcivilian65 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      i have no idea what example of hypocrisy could be bigger than this

  • @azpizzazz3442
    @azpizzazz3442 ปีที่แล้ว +219

    there's also the stereotyping that bothers me. im a pre transition trans guy, but I have short hair and the likes, and that makes all my "ally" friends constantly make jokes about me being a lesbian even though i came out to them as trans months ago. it sucks that they still don't see me as my real gender and their upper limits to acceptance stop at me being a lesbian cuz that's all i look like to them, even though I'm not one

    • @someoldytaccount
      @someoldytaccount ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Yikes. Best of luck, man! My friend has been on T now for 2 months after his initial steps to transition back in 2018 and he's been loving it! There's some conflict with him wanting to grow his hair back out to match a specific drag queen but it's giving him some dysphoria so we'll see, but I sincerely hope you know that your time will come. You deserve to live every day of your life with euphoria and no one can take that away from you. Stay safe

    • @azpizzazz3442
      @azpizzazz3442 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@someoldytaccount thanks man, i appreciate it. it sucks when you come out and people use the right pronouns for a while, then go back to using the wrong ones as if i don't notice

    • @chip4410
      @chip4410 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Bro same with the stereotyping. It's frustrating as all get out, I hope your friends reach an understanding

    • @azpizzazz3442
      @azpizzazz3442 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@chip4410 thanks for the kind words mate

    • @kpopevefancams
      @kpopevefancams ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Those are not your friends they should not be making fun of you or invalidiating your gender identity or stereotyping you. Please drop them cause you can and will find better friends that respect and love you as you are. There are people out there that will be respectful and see you as the man you have always been irregardless of whether you have transitioned or not.

  • @meeguelangelo
    @meeguelangelo ปีที่แล้ว +583

    I just came out on Tuesday and I encountered similar homophobic arguments from a few people. Heteronormativity has dominated our society and it completely shuts off brain cells.
    That aside... I got so much support, and even from people I would've never thought I would! This world is changing, slowly, but it is changing. In part, thanks to what you and others in this space do 😊.
    Thank you for all you do Frederic, keep slaying ♥️💅!

    • @solsticebugg
      @solsticebugg ปีที่แล้ว +12

      congrats on coming out!

    • @meeguelangelo
      @meeguelangelo ปีที่แล้ว +26

      @@solsticebugg Thank you so much 😊! It's definitely been a journey but my boyfriend has been SUCH a help ♥️. I hope that one day, coming out won't be necessary and we can all live as ourselves without fear of retribution or ostracization, completely queer, completely ourselves 🙌✨.

    • @dans.ta.maman9966
      @dans.ta.maman9966 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@meeguelangelo I hope so too! I'm so happy that you had someone so supportive! hopefully you won't experience too much discrimination. I have found that it is better just too cut those people out, instead of stressing urself out over them

    • @math_chan_5356
      @math_chan_5356 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I can relate with the point about "people you didn't expect to show support."
      Had a classmate that I talked to a few times, who at the end of the year wrote a note to me congratulating me on coming out. (context: this was during a retreat and at the end of the retreat you would write a small note for each person in your group.)
      Congrats on coming out btw!!!

  • @arashiedward5226
    @arashiedward5226 ปีที่แล้ว +176

    "You support our silence" says it all, really.

  • @snake_whirlpool
    @snake_whirlpool ปีที่แล้ว +191

    Back in the old days my classmates knew that I was bi. Most of them thought it was just some kind of gay joke.
    Some of them knew it because we were close enough to discuss relationships, so we talked about sexual orientations too.
    But one of those passive-aggressive cishet girls, who somehow always tend to make LGBTQ+ friends (please tell me that you met such people too) started joking around about me being bi in front of EVERYONE, including very homophobic guys. The jokes were innocent, yet I don’t understand how she didn’t understand that she put me in potential danger that day?

    • @marocat4749
      @marocat4749 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      its also really harmful, and bulling basically.

    • @BuyJiafeiyassifiedpr0ducts
      @BuyJiafeiyassifiedpr0ducts ปีที่แล้ว

      Those same bitches who want "gay-best friends to go shopping with", ew.

  • @FredericChen
    @FredericChen  ปีที่แล้ว +338

    Hi Friends! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I just wanted to say thank you all for supporting all the new content I've been putting out on TH-cam Shorts, I've truly found my passion for creating content again and hopefully that's coming across, even in this video. I laughed at my own edits for once, had fun doing stupid edits like that mean girls mouth thing, and I enjoyed putting on makeup and talking about things I'm passionate about. I often go through this cycle of feeling like my expiration date has come, but I'm trying to keep a positive mindset. ALSO CAPTIONS are here! I'll be doing English captions for videos from now on, I hope they help out those who use them. I also forget to mention this, but I do have a PO Box if you want to send any letter etc, it's in the description. Cheers to 2023
    - Frederic

    • @FrancisAzarian
      @FrancisAzarian ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I love your videos, your hard work is showing.

    • @gummirwl
      @gummirwl ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thank you for the captions! As a neurodivergent person, it helps me process information. Also, I'm glad you enjoy making content again! :) Keep it up, take care of yourself.

    • @ZC-ki8qh
      @ZC-ki8qh ปีที่แล้ว +1

      WE LOVE YOU!

    • @meeguelangelo
      @meeguelangelo ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you Frederic 😊✨! Keep slaying 💅!

    • @Howdyjason
      @Howdyjason ปีที่แล้ว +1

      How are y’all doing unload , rant I’m all ears or don’t you do you boo 😊

  • @ghostreyn
    @ghostreyn ปีที่แล้ว +455

    I had a horrid conversation with a 'friend' a bit ago, we were just talking and i had mentioned supporting the trans community since some LGBT+ topics came up and she ended up stating "i may be bi but i don't support supporting to trans individuals." Now as an individual that considers them selves trans, i had not come out to her btw, I was just like wtf and what does that even mean? I felt so invalidated i haven't talked to her since.

    • @FredericChen
      @FredericChen  ปีที่แล้ว +101

      Yep yep yep

    • @fkolanko17
      @fkolanko17 ปีที่แล้ว +81

      "I don't support supporting" WHAT 😭 So does she mean she doesn't support trans ppl or..??? Bc either you do or you don't. It sucks that there are ppl like that, especially within our own community. How can we grow as a society if we can't even do it as a community?

    • @angeltakami517
      @angeltakami517 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Lordy, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Hearing that from 'friends' is really a shock to the system and can leave you feeling jolted. Hopefully their mind is opened later on and they're able to be at peace knowing trans people are people too and a part of the community like the rest. Not pick and choose.
      It comes as a shock sometimes. I know a 'friend' of mine acted as a rather friendly ally until I woke up to the 'pick and choose' behavior behind the scenes.
      I'm glad to have seen this and avoid him. Now I'm on my path to finding proper friends in the community

    • @m.h.m.m.h.m.7839
      @m.h.m.m.h.m.7839 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I've been there. Really tales a hit when someone you thought you were close to might not be gopd to keep close. I hope you have many friends that support you as a whole. ❤️

    • @dans.ta.maman9966
      @dans.ta.maman9966 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      I hate that people in the community will sometimes be transphobic. Like guys we are supposed to be in this together. As a bisexual, I do not claim this person. thanks but no thanks

  • @cherrytri
    @cherrytri ปีที่แล้ว +91

    it's such a small part but i practically did a little stim and smiled so wide when you said "count the amount of straight ppl, not just male and female cause they can be bi. we don't do bi erasure on this channel." cause sometimes i feel excluded as someone who is in a straight passing relationship (when we are both bi)- and little comments like that mean a lot to me

    • @FredericChen
      @FredericChen  ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Words matter! I try my best to make sure to be inclusive

  • @Keelsman
    @Keelsman ปีที่แล้ว +223

    My bi ass has plenty of bias! No shame people, just be aware and practice kindness ❤️

  • @AfterArtist
    @AfterArtist ปีที่แล้ว +95

    Bruh out here like; ‘I’m not ableist but I hate how paralysed people always have wheelchairs’

    • @FredericChen
      @FredericChen  ปีที่แล้ว +28

      THIS IS SO 💀

    • @barrysteakfriessimp_real
      @barrysteakfriessimp_real ปีที่แล้ว +24

      "i support autistic people but i can't stand when they stim and flap their hands like that 🙄🙄"

    • @karmaispsycho5878
      @karmaispsycho5878 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@barrysteakfriessimp_real the worst part is I've seen people genuinely say that lol

  • @dopechick457
    @dopechick457 ปีที่แล้ว +168

    I tutor two kids...both boys 8 and 10 i was wearing nail polish and asked if they wanted to... They completely freaked out and started saying no boys don't wear it it will make me a girl... Bla... Bla.. Bla... They i listed to them calmly and after they were done i asked if i show them a boy wearing a dress and nail polish will they believe me? I opened Pinterest searched for it and showed them... U were there too... Then i showed them ur insta account... And they were really shocked (in a good way) and i asked does this make him a girl? They were like noo.... So i asked them will that make u a girl? They said nooooook.... I love kids.... They are so pure... They just need proper guidance and a bit of patience and love

    • @marocat4749
      @marocat4749 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Thr eare emo or goth boys that, other good example?

    • @dopechick457
      @dopechick457 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@marocat4749 yaa

    • @derekfox302
      @derekfox302 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bro you are a FUCKING PREDATOR I’m actually sick reading this I hope the world stops you

    • @disgrace1309
      @disgrace1309 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@marocat4749 true!

    • @elainejones9400
      @elainejones9400 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah but their instinct is to be straight, as that IS the natural human instinct because we need to reproduct, want to change to be LGBTQ? Go for it, my straight a$$ will be in the out being straight

  • @RidleyRose
    @RidleyRose ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Whenever they say, "they are shoving it in our faces, but every TV show since the beginning of time has had multiple straight couples

    • @Jackie-rs6yc
      @Jackie-rs6yc ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Mostly White American couples too lol

    • @mo.ka.9661
      @mo.ka.9661 ปีที่แล้ว

      Because most people are straight

    • @lucienfortner841
      @lucienfortner841 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@mo.ka.9661 Whoosh

  • @hazelgrunts
    @hazelgrunts ปีที่แล้ว +25

    “I support you, but only when you don’t fight for your own rights”

  • @no1legobatmanfan
    @no1legobatmanfan ปีที่แล้ว +43

    was in dance class and this girl straight up said “Im not homophobic i just dont support” and me and the two other people in the locker room where all queer and the silence was so loud…

  • @daverumbear7668
    @daverumbear7668 ปีที่แล้ว +156

    Ariel was so down bad for Eric she gave up her life under the sea and voice for him, and I thought I was a simp. id do the same tbh

    • @dans.ta.maman9966
      @dans.ta.maman9966 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      nah fr me too

    • @elieli2893
      @elieli2893 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      And died because it was an unrequited love, in the original story :'( It's sad to think that the story was written by H.C. Andersen after being rejected harshly by a man he was in love with. So Ariel might not be gay, but she is a metaphor for gay longing, for sure!

    • @jalapeno1119
      @jalapeno1119 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@elieli2893 Even more so, Howard Ashman who was a gay man wrote the songs for The Little Mermaid!

  • @dreambrush7251
    @dreambrush7251 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    i'm not even the one arguing and already feeling angry and exhausted by idiotic comments like that 💀

  • @i_liek_cheeze5147
    @i_liek_cheeze5147 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    FACTS! I am so tired of people saying they're an ally and then proceeding to be homophobic. This gives the same vibes as "i'm not racist but-" Like if there is a but, you are racist.
    Edit: I just got to the part where Frederic uses this as an example. lol. BUT YEAH IT'S SO FRUSTRATING.

    • @kitosanimations
      @kitosanimations ปีที่แล้ว +9

      "I'm not racist but I don't really like black people that much." or "Her pronouns are 'he/him'"

  • @hmiller7178
    @hmiller7178 ปีที่แล้ว +139

    Ok, but the people who assume characters in media are queer are usually just trying to connect their experiences to the ones on screen. Also, queerbaiting ships can be made real cultivated by the fandoms. (I'm only talking about fictional characters, because assuming people's sexualities in real life is creepy in my opinion, but I was a young queer too and I know how it feels to want to make everything gay.) I'm sorry if this came out all wrong, I have a hard time explaining myself through text.

    • @dans.ta.maman9966
      @dans.ta.maman9966 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      I also like to assume the characters in the media, I think it goes to far when people start doing it with the actors too

    • @literalcyborg3723
      @literalcyborg3723 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      I feel the same way. Queer headcanons about fictional characters are fine in my opinion, unless they’re based entirely on stereotypes. I headcanon characters as queer because I see myself and my queer experiences within them. It is projection. It’s also just younger me being absolutely desperate for any queer media because I felt alone, but y’know. Real people is where I draw the line for the most part.

    • @alexwilliams2276
      @alexwilliams2276 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@literalcyborg3723
      If you make it clear as a headcannon that’s different but for actual people that’s weird. You can headcannon a character but that doesn’t mean everyone will agree

    • @literalcyborg3723
      @literalcyborg3723 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@alexwilliams2276 Exactly! You can’t have a headcanon about a real person. And of course everyone has different headcanons that I’ll respect (unless I have a reason not to)

  • @hatsunemikey
    @hatsunemikey ปีที่แล้ว +29

    there was this one guy i knew that would constantly mention that im a gay guy. at some point, he even said that im gay BECAUSE of him and i was so sick of it. i dont understand why all these straight guys i know think i want them.. like no, i want you to get away from me.. i dont want you. be serious 😭

  • @blitzogene
    @blitzogene ปีที่แล้ว +25

    I absolutely hate tiktok. I use to be obsessed with it but then I deleted it for a year and I just don’t want to go back. My parents are always on tiktok(even while driving sometimes)and all drama just comes from there. It helped me grow as a person but it also made my mental health fricked up because I was so obsessed with drama and I would always feed into it. It’s toxic. Just delete it.

  • @caroljo420
    @caroljo420 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I'm a 70 year old straight woman, and I love this channel! I just found it a couple of days ago. I was just wondering if I'm the only one who hates the term "queer". My generation used that word just before they started gay bashing, and being an old hippie, I hate violence. I'm a pacifist, and I firmly believe in equality! By the way, you look a lot better in a dress than I ever did. Stay genuine, you do you, you're beautiful inside and out!!!

  • @moonytoons595
    @moonytoons595 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    I really love seeing Frederic's videos. His unapologetic attitude attitude talking about these issues is so refreshing and nice to see. Also, as well as educating homophobes and allies he educates queer people as well (including me) which is really really important.
    Edit: spelling lol

    • @FredericChen
      @FredericChen  ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Frederic* SORRY ty for ur comment though

    • @moonytoons595
      @moonytoons595 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@FredericChen omg sorry lmao

  • @laylakindafruity
    @laylakindafruity ปีที่แล้ว +104

    I know this wasn't the point of the video but the setup for this was adorable

  • @Jesmckk
    @Jesmckk ปีที่แล้ว +91

    I love your earrings

  • @simonthechipmunk5091
    @simonthechipmunk5091 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    i would LOVE to see a video about the ‘girlypop/zesty’ situation because i have gotten into so many arguments about it. i hate being called that ESPECIALLY by straight people because it feels like they only see me for my sexuality when they say it. calling someone that is rude because you never know if they’re okay with it or not. me and my community didn’t fight for years and years to be boiled down to one word. if you’re okay with it, great! all the power to ya! but me personally, not into it. also calling men who have any feminine traits ‘zesty’ is homophobic. you are perpetuating the stereotype that all gay men are feminine and straight men can’t be expressive of their feminine side. there are people on tiktok harassing this one particular tiktok who is literally a CHILD by constantly calling him ‘zesty’ for being stereotypically feminine. LET HIM LIVE. love you Frederic, keep doing what you do❤️

    • @twiggledowntown3564
      @twiggledowntown3564 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I've only really heard of those words and phrases online, but I've never heard anyone say these in real life.

  • @reecespuffs8341
    @reecespuffs8341 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    one of my closest friends is bi and claims she’s a trans ally yet constantly misgenders one of our friends even with me using their correct pronouns but when talking about me in messages that she knows she’ll show me, she uses the correct pronouns for me. it’s so frustrating

  • @demi6252
    @demi6252 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I didn’t even realize that people were homophobic, especially when their own parents don’t accept them. I’m pan and my sibling is non-binary and our parents were supportive. They treated it as normal as you would saying you like potatoes more than broccoli

  • @beesnquackers
    @beesnquackers ปีที่แล้ว +60

    Literally thought of Strange New World as soon as you mentioned “first gay movies” because the lack of promotion was really sad. Good on u for monetising this experience!!

    • @marocat4749
      @marocat4749 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I mean the admirable thing is the director not playing it up becaus its not a gay movie, itas a movie with a character, thats gay, thats it. Its also said that the movie gets puished fotr doing th right thing. (but th lack of promotion might still be homophobic sabotage, and trying to kill the movie)

    • @Man-wolf-
      @Man-wolf- ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@marocat4749 its racist too-as the focus of the film is on a multiracial family
      I seen people even say they got more radio trailers for it where you cant see how the characters look

    • @ashthepotato3172
      @ashthepotato3172 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Man-wolf- Listen I recognise where you're coming from but it's not racist to not want to watch a movie because you don't want to. Like, would you be saying the same thing here if it followed a white family? I bet you wouldn't.
      It's racist if someone chooses to not watch a movie because they want no affiliation with a different race than their own. But you also have Encanto, Coco, Soul, Turning Red, Luca- these were all huge hits and follow differing ethnicities and so many people loved them. The song "We don't talk about Bruno" surpassed Frozen's "Let it go" (which has reigned at the absolute top since 2013) in an impressive amount of time because people loved it so much.
      Personally I'm not all that interested in watching Strange World yet, I just don't really want to that's all.

    • @Man-wolf-
      @Man-wolf- ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ashthepotato3172 thats not what i said tho-i said its racist that DISNEY barly promotes a film abt a multiracial family to the point of people saying they only heard about it from radios, where they cant see how the characters look, even tho they would nonstop promote films centoring white people
      This isnt about rather or not you wanna watch it its about how disney treats its films centoring poc vs those that dont
      Its fine if you dont want to watch it but its lack of promotion from disney is extremly suspicious

  • @mostrecenthero
    @mostrecenthero ปีที่แล้ว +69

    The intro is so comforting. I love these types of vids!

  • @ne2ko714
    @ne2ko714 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    4 cats is the perfect amounts of cats, live your best life as a cat mom

  • @voldemort8894
    @voldemort8894 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I do feel that (mostly young LGBT folks) assuming or "declaring" what they think another persons sexually is one of the weirder things going on in the community. Most of my friends are part of the LGBT community in some way, and while I identify as "Straight?", they have all very publicly declared me as Bi and have done the similar things to our other straight friends, bringing it up and joking about it more than enough times to make me uncomfortable/questioning my own sexuality.
    I'm not angry at it or think it's a massive problem, it's just a really weird thing that I happen to have personal experience with :)

    • @ashthepotato3172
      @ashthepotato3172 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Hmm no I agree. This seems weird and I can understand why you would feel uncomfortable by this. I hope it improves for you. Personally when it comes to sexuality- that's your business. You should have your own privacy with regards to your sexuality. If you choose to reveal it that's your choice.
      Now perhaps it's just your friends misunderstanding and not seeing, or just trying to have a joke. But when it's making you feel like this it might be a good idea to communicate to them how it's making you feel :)

  • @nelissaortiz5405
    @nelissaortiz5405 ปีที่แล้ว +83

    The only people I've seen say the everything is gay shtick is my 11 yo baby sis who's recently come out and is excited to talk about it openly

    • @dans.ta.maman9966
      @dans.ta.maman9966 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      ikr usually its just baby gays that make it their whole personality. lol ik when i first came out, i did too

    • @nelissaortiz5405
      @nelissaortiz5405 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@despiniwww I'm just happy to see her be so open and proud. She was nervous at first to come out so seeing her talk about it just gives me good feelings!

    • @whatamidoing9841
      @whatamidoing9841 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@dans.ta.maman9966 While I can't speak for other baby gays, I know that for myself, I talk about it a lot because I spent so much of my life not being able to talk about it and I'm kind of, for lack of a better term, making up for lost time. If that makes any sense?

    • @dans.ta.maman9966
      @dans.ta.maman9966 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@whatamidoing9841 im not saying thats a bad thing, do what u want

    • @whatamidoing9841
      @whatamidoing9841 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@dans.ta.maman9966 Oh, I know you're not. I was just offering it up as one of the reasons why baby gays might do it.

  • @love196627
    @love196627 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I love that you compared the LGBT battles to women's rights. You are exactly correct. Same fight, different flavor. Your debate skills are rock solid. Thank you for giving us LOGICAL, RATIONAL, words to use while we fight on.

  • @parrot5478
    @parrot5478 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    I love your comment on how someone having a friend(s) in a marginalized community does not mean they are free from contributing to a power difference for that community. I believe this also goes for some in the communities themselves.
    For instance, I came out to my trans friend as queer recently due to him asking, also stating how I would most align with the tag bisexual. He took me by surprise stating that bisexual people are not actually queer and are pretty much just straight people who are confused. I didn't argue with him about it any further and removed myself from that situation, but I believe this is a great example of this inner community hate? I don't know exactly what to call it.

    • @v3nusba3
      @v3nusba3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Yea there is a lot of bi erasure and hate within the queer community and as someone in it, it really upsets me

    • @dans.ta.maman9966
      @dans.ta.maman9966 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@v3nusba3 yeah me too. i was on insta and someone called me homphobic because I am bi. something about shitting on the past of lesbians and gay men people killed. like what

    • @jalapeno1119
      @jalapeno1119 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      There are a number of homosexual people who honestly believe that Bisexuality is the exact same as heterosexuality.

  • @demi__gaming7685
    @demi__gaming7685 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    This was the case whit my parents . Tbh it is still. My mom has a gay boss and she is okay whit that but every time she has to comment things like " I don't care what their sexuality is but they are just showing it to much , or queer people like to brag whit they sexuality" and im like sitting there every time and just thinking "wtf" ....I guess I will never come out to her.....and the case with my dad...well he doesn't even allow anything that has a rainbow on it or has just the colors of the rainbow.

    • @jalapeno1119
      @jalapeno1119 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      My dad used the f slur in front of me once and it was then I realized I would have to be closeted until my parents die.

  • @iris_isdead
    @iris_isdead ปีที่แล้ว +58

    one time i was having this conversation with a straight friend and i was talking about these ppl in my school who i rlly admired bc they were so open about their identity and she said smth like “i mean i get that but it doesnt rlly matter that much honestly” and i got pretty upset then said something like “its really hard to be that open tho, you’ll never understand” and she said- “do i tho? STRAIGHT PPL have been OSTRACIZED from the community and always seemed as homophobic just bc they’re straight.”yea that rlly put a strain on our friendship

    • @ultimatequeenofdeath666
      @ultimatequeenofdeath666 ปีที่แล้ว

      straight people really just have THE AUDACITY sometimes, like bitch what the fuck are you talking about???

    • @ashthepotato3172
      @ashthepotato3172 ปีที่แล้ว

      But I'm sorry, they aren't wrong. I'm not straight myself but there's very much this silent pressure that if you aren't a Member of LGBT- you're cis, straight and especially if you're white. Then you absolutely above all need to watch what you say and, in the utmost fashion, prove you aren't a bigot. Straight people are pretty ostracised from the community. Cis people take a bit of bull from trans and it goes unnoticed. There's a present fear that, if you're cis and straight, if you step a toe out of line and offend someone from the LGBT community you get called bigoted. Homophobic. Transphobic. Racist etc.
      I understand and respect that this girl saying "it doesn't really matter" upset you. It would upset me too as its still a big thing. But what she said afterwards is unfortunately pretty true.

    • @sparkstudies1675
      @sparkstudies1675 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I don't think they were wrong though. there are legitimately people just criticising straight people for being straight these days, even if it might not be the majority. maybe it wasn't the best time to bring that up but we're all imperfect humans with actual feelings. maybe your friend wasn't necessarily trying to ignore expression but rather act like it's just as normal and okay as any other orientations expressing themself, or not wanting to make people's entire personalities about their orientations??

    • @MrS-in8pp
      @MrS-in8pp ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@sparkstudies1675My heart goes out to all the straight people who bravely face the world in spite of all the hate sent to them by a small and powerless minority of an oppressed group ❤. Their struggle IS valid enough to be brought up only to minimise the struggles of queer people, and when they do so, we should absolutely assume that they had the best intentions instead of employing an ounce of common sense 🎉

  • @sunnyskies..
    @sunnyskies.. ปีที่แล้ว +4

    “You don’t need to have an opinion on a community you’re not a part of“ period✨

  • @lisaearley
    @lisaearley ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I just discovered your channel. I love this. When my daughter came out as transgender, I almost immediately started volunteering for a LGBT youth group. While I've changed groups I still volunteer for a LGBT youth group. To me, that is being an ally. Since my daughter came out, she had married a non-binary person. My youngest child just came out as non-binary a few months after their spouse came out as transgender. I love my beautiful LGBT children and their spouses. Thank you for this video.

  • @cynicallemonade1792
    @cynicallemonade1792 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    I'm 31 and bi and I still find myself having internalised homophobic thoughts. I was with a homophobic bf for 8 years and internalised a lot of what he said so I watch a lot of channels like yours to try and unlearn what I picked up. The goal is to feel ok with myself and who I am and not feel dirty or preditory because of the things people say about us. Things my ex used to say about us. Thank you for making this content. It's truely helpful. Even for people like me who need to relearn how to be ok with themselves.

  • @actuallyansel4697
    @actuallyansel4697 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    i would love to see a whole video on disney's quote unquote "support" of the LGBT community. as an artist who used to (and still does to a certain degree) dreamt of working at disney, its a topic im rlly interested in and im sure other people are as well :)

    • @lucienfortner841
      @lucienfortner841 ปีที่แล้ว

      James Somerton has a couple of videos on this subject, IIRC

  • @me.9780
    @me.9780 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    I came hear to say that I read "Home of phobia" and thought someone was afraid to go home..

  • @persistenturge
    @persistenturge ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Frederic I'm starting to sense a theme with your cat names... Ruby and Remy, Miso and Sushi. 🧐

  • @YaBoiXats
    @YaBoiXats 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Decided to watch this again and I lost brain cells trying to understand my side😭 to this day I appreciate you helping me understand this whole thing better🙏🏾
    Omg my friend was literally so random😭 I was texting them while they were commenting so it took a lil longer. Again, I’m glad you made this video and I’m glad I stopped talking to that friend (found out they were a very toxic person)

  • @teagodpot7614
    @teagodpot7614 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    THE KITTIES ARE SO CUTE PLS

  • @alyx-221b
    @alyx-221b ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Hi, I'm relatively new to this channel, but I have seen some of your content, and it makes me very happy to see that there people out there (by that I mean mostly on the internet) who are willing to educate people and show the home of phobes who's really boss! Anyway this conversation reminded me very much of some conversations I have with my slightly home of phobic "friends" at school, so it was cool to see what to do next time anyway talks to me about "forcing my opinions onto people".
    Anyways, love your content- this was ligit the highlight of my day.

  • @wassup6263
    @wassup6263 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Off topic but I'm obsessed with that eyeshadow look

    • @DinosaurNick
      @DinosaurNick ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Why did I read that as "One topic here"

  • @Rose-743
    @Rose-743 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Omg when you brought up the owl house I was like “oh shit wait is that why it was canceled?” and omg I was reaching the hell out of it and ye that was basically the reason why. Disney had said it “wasn’t part of their brand” and that’s why it was canceled like uhm no.

  • @cloudbasedbear
    @cloudbasedbear ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Frederic: *picks up the kittens*
    The kittens: Food? Food?! Food... FOOD!

    • @Dumb_Killjoy
      @Dumb_Killjoy ปีที่แล้ว

      That is the kitten experience. Every time I see my litter of kittens, they beg for food. Even if they've just been fed.

  • @Royalhighfun
    @Royalhighfun 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I myself relate to the end of the video, I grew up in a Christian household, I had to go to church, I was taught that men and women are in relationships and that’s all there is to it, so when my older sister came out to me, the idea of this community was brand new to me and just having opened that door in my mind and closed the other heterosexual normative one, I got an opportunity to learn about a new community and am now proudly a part of it!! It’s important for kids to learn about this stuff so we can fix these closed minds and bring up new generations of accepting and well-informed people :))

  • @moustachescat3944
    @moustachescat3944 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Straight people “ stop trying to make everything gay, not everything needs to be about gay”
    Also straight people “OMG this 5 year old girl looked at this other 5 year which is a boy it must be love!!!!!”
    Make it make sense

    • @jomaq9233
      @jomaq9233 ปีที่แล้ว

      Like, I guess because of the statistical likelihood of being straight as opposed to being gay… but like, ma’am, those are 5 year olds

  • @sevenateenine
    @sevenateenine ปีที่แล้ว +13

    when cishets online get mad at people "calling everything queer" in my experience theyre usually whining about people headcanoning their favorite characters sexualities and genders in media, which always annoys me bc queercoding is a thing that exists. i know the whole purpose is for the straights not to understand it but people dont just call characters gay for no reason. usually its bc they relate in some way to the persons queer experience.
    ofc if they were talking about real people then theyre weird af but that doesnt happen nearly as much as headcanons for NOT REAL characters on tiktok given the large fandom communities on there. knowing the algorithm, if the person keeps debating the sexuality of a character on peoples tiktoks theyre gonna get more tiktoks about queercoded characters

    • @nicatina
      @nicatina ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This! Thank you!!

    • @jomaq9233
      @jomaq9233 ปีที่แล้ว

      I guess it’s “not realistic” because only a very small percentage of the world’s population is queer, so why expect super widespread representation in media if it apparently isn’t there in real life too?

    • @sevenateenine
      @sevenateenine ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jomaq9233 i mean its just a personal headcanon that people can choose to agree with or not -- its just an interpretation of a character. theres no expectations or forcing or anything, just people shocked at an idea they arent used to

  • @dantesummers4048
    @dantesummers4048 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Honestly the arguments around our basic human rights are sooo tiring and exhausting, that I just stopped arguing. No more trying to convince people to respect me. I go "yup. Cool. Uh huh" and keep it moving. No more disturbing my peace.

  • @solareclipse1468
    @solareclipse1468 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    It made me so upset when I found out how I was taught the lgbtq is bad or that people in the group are “confused” my mom even told my ace sister that she’s broken- like what the actual heck. I’m part of the lgbtq and I am learning more about it and learning to not have that uncomfortable feeling when being around the group. Happy to say I havnt felt uncomfortable about lgbtq in a long long time. I support everyone in the lgbtq community I love them all so much, their some of the nicest people I have ever met, and it’s so upsetting to see people hate on them for liking the same gender. I also am part of the lgbtq community as aro/ace, and I might be a bit bias because I have only really ever met nice people who are a part of the lgbtq. I do ant to learn more about myself and others who are in the group, it makes me so happy to learn more.

  • @rxtro_rainbow
    @rxtro_rainbow ปีที่แล้ว +4

    i know this doesnt relate to anything in the video, but i’ve returned to your channel, and i really want to thank you. you’ve helped me through discovering who i am, and who i want to be. Having someone that i can relate to, to look up to, i genuinely cant express enough how grateful i am. thank you. ❤

  • @useless_university
    @useless_university ปีที่แล้ว +3

    as a young queer who is trying to navigate all of this kind of thing, I just want to say thank you so much for making this kind of content. your channel is amazing and makes me feel more confident about myself and my identity. I’m glad I’ve found a role model who is comfortable with and proud of their sexuality while still emphasizing all of their other qualities and interests. sometimes it can feel overwhelming, like I’m reducing myself to just my sexuality, so seeing your example has been really positive for me

  • @tynekavka9264
    @tynekavka9264 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I really like the makeup part. I never had the confidence to wear makeup and flashy outfits (being a girl). I definitely feel more confident now, however I don't know where to start, so along with the lovely discussion the makeup part is very helpful!

  • @sonicsakura8368
    @sonicsakura8368 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    When you said I don't feel like wearing foundation today I totally thought you were already wearing some before. What gorgeous skin.

  • @afham129
    @afham129 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    "Sometimes you have to flop to learn in life" he's right yall

  • @river-of-noodles
    @river-of-noodles ปีที่แล้ว

    I just noticed the black cat mirror, it’s amazing

  • @sendalimoralesgarcia6064
    @sendalimoralesgarcia6064 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    “ what happened to the owl house”You got me there Fredric 😭🤚🤚

  • @olliek6709
    @olliek6709 ปีที่แล้ว

    the finished makeup look is giving vampire, idk i cant unsee it

  • @KossolaxtheForesworn
    @KossolaxtheForesworn ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "I support lgbt but I dont like them force it on others." aka "i support you as long as youre in the closet."
    so, yay for casual homophobia.

  • @mxpoe
    @mxpoe ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have family members who still say things like "I support you, buuuut..." even after being openly myself for many, many years. We don't talk very often. But anyway, I liked this video! Your makeup looks great, you're well-spoken, and it's important to talk about these things and bring awareness. So, thanks!
    Also, I have 5 cats! So, I support your 4 cats. :D k bye

  • @Robinthescrindoingily
    @Robinthescrindoingily ปีที่แล้ว +6

    As a ftm trans child your videos make me feel so much more comfortable in this world thank you so much :) ( this might sound cringy so sorry if it did)

  • @lyllydd
    @lyllydd ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I wanted to say thank you for your points about standards represented in the media. This applies to so many communities. I was diagnosed a few years ago with a chronic illness, and as a disabled person, I was coming to the same realization about the media and how it depicts disabled people, with the end result that people don't ever really see any different perspectives. You stated it very well. Don't let anyone deter you from speaking out. Also, amazing makeup! Love the colors!

  • @Robynnnvm
    @Robynnnvm ปีที่แล้ว +4

    And it's not just people who consider themselves as an "ally" but even people in the LGBTQ+ community as well, I saw people saying LGB is what they support but not QT+ which doesnt make sense to begin with. Like it is disheartening when even in your own community they exclude you for being this and that, like lesbians being biphobic and gays being transphobic. And dont get me started with people forgetting and excluding ace and aro people like they dont exist.

  • @ryderrezentes1286
    @ryderrezentes1286 ปีที่แล้ว

    OMG final makeup product is GORGEOUS!!!

  • @squarrot9355
    @squarrot9355 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    thank you so much i never knew how to refute people saying queers made it their whole personality/ were forcing equality etc i just knew that it made me upset

  • @pennywilloughby2988
    @pennywilloughby2988 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love listening to you while you're doing your makeup. It reminds me of the kind of talks I used to have with my friends when I was your age. Just random things we encountered & needed to share with those we most trusted to LISTEN (not just hear). It allowed us to question the status quo, accept our differences and expand our thinking in an honest and open way. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts as it continues to show me how far we have come over the years and how far we still have to go until all people are treated as people first -- not seen just by their color, culture, language, geographical location, income, gender, sexual identities or anything else. Keep it up!

  • @eat-ski3129
    @eat-ski3129 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    YES THANK YOU!! i came out as a lesbian to my ex-best friend last year and she said she was okay with it and she'll love me forever and whatnot. but i can see how she's all uncomfortable around and she said how i shouldn't walk so close to her cuz I'm gay and she's not? when i told her about elsa from frozen might get a female love interest, she made it very clear that lgbt shouldn't be seen in disney movies and it will traumatized children. she even told me was might be bi yet she went out of her way to bash the lgbt community. honestly, she was so toxic i'm glad she's out of my life.

  • @rileycottrell2966
    @rileycottrell2966 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    i have never seen anything that describes how i feel so much

  • @wriggleby
    @wriggleby ปีที่แล้ว +7

    "If I had my way you people would all be buried in the same grave" - Walt Disney to his gay employees when he mass fired them 💕
    No idea where the gay friend argument came from he was definitely homophobic.

  • @SunRaesArt
    @SunRaesArt ปีที่แล้ว +4

    i fucking love you as just like, a really solid human with real relatability, understanding, and emotional intelligence. It is so hard to find humans like you, especially ones that can find success in their lives without it changing them for the worse. At least from what i've seen (first video i saw was when you painted roses all over your dress, fucking iconic) you have only improved and grown into an even more beautiful soul, and I just want to thank you for all the smiles you give to people

  • @nervousbreakdown711
    @nervousbreakdown711 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Also, yes, assuming people’s sexuality and gender are wrong. But you can make an argument for a queer reading in a huge amount of the arts.

    • @sparkstudies1675
      @sparkstudies1675 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      nothing wrong with that as long as you don't present your opinions as absolute truth and look down condescendingly on anyone who believes otherwise, which nobody should really be doing about anything anyway

    • @nervousbreakdown711
      @nervousbreakdown711 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sparkstudies1675 literally no one does that what are you talking about

    • @sparkstudies1675
      @sparkstudies1675 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@nervousbreakdown711 "no, you're just _choosing_ to be ignorant because you're homophobic! Clara is clearly queer coded"
      "just because more representation is happening in media now doesn't make _every_ side character gay now, Becky"

    • @nervousbreakdown711
      @nervousbreakdown711 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sparkstudies1675 literally no one does this what are you talking about?!

  • @FiniKoneko
    @FiniKoneko ปีที่แล้ว +1

    LMAO THE WAY YOU GRABBED THE KITTYS 😭😭

  • @finnius_winnius2508
    @finnius_winnius2508 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Like how ariel scarcella (can’t spell rn) has trans friends but she’s so transphobic. Shane Dawson had black friends but said the N word, it doesn’t matter who your friends are you can still be discriminatory or racist/homophobic/transphobic etc

  • @davidperrii
    @davidperrii 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Going through my backlog of saved videos. Very well said Frederic, the baby queers are something else and I loved the way you delivered this lesson!

  • @arialyons7402
    @arialyons7402 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I'm so glad there is someone like you who can explain these kinds of things. Thank you so much for teaching me how to be a better ally. You're beautiful and amazing!

  • @sajmusic
    @sajmusic ปีที่แล้ว

    I really liked that. Your background music was tasteful and at the right volume throughout. Thank you for your humor. I preciate you.

  • @tedros6917
    @tedros6917 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Frederic's hair is immaculate, it genuinely looks sculpted

  • @RomeoS510
    @RomeoS510 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I noticed that these type of people will ask for ur “opinion “ but really we all know they want a certain answer and when they don’t get it they get mad and try make seem like we’re in the wrong for no reason and the whole my friend or whatever is -- so I can’t be - is so dumb

    • @jalapeno1119
      @jalapeno1119 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I just had this same epiphany like yesterday when I was baited by someone on the internet "I'm not trying to start shit but..." I didn't even argue with them. I neutrallly shared my experiences as a bi person and they got mad at me and started insulting me like???? Excuse me, I think you actually did want to start shit.

  • @mcgde0
    @mcgde0 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That’s definitely the issue is that some people may not be actively phobic or cist but don’t want to accept they still have prejudice attitudes.

  • @KaiseaWings
    @KaiseaWings ปีที่แล้ว +5

    There's room for everyone. When you're first starting out it can be disheartening to see all the glitter and glam if that doesn't feel natural to you, but obviously you're gonna see the most visible people first, it's gonna take time and trust before you see the quieter ones. You'll see the 'stereotypical ones' first because those are the ones you know how to spot, funny how that works.

  • @darknes2507
    @darknes2507 ปีที่แล้ว

    Man, you became my guru in internet arguments. Never seen someone Just So smooth in their words they Just don't need any montage or shitty humor to hołd someone's attention. I wish I got your confidence man

  • @strawberryj3lly
    @strawberryj3lly ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Omg I had friend like this she knew all of us (minus myself bc I was closeted) were queer in some form and would make super inappropriate homophobic comments. We tried to ignore it thinking she’d stop but it escalated to her telling one our friends (in private) that she was gonna r@pe them to show them that they’re not into guys. Then proceeded to defend her actions after we called her out saying, “teehee it was a joke don’t take is seriously maybe he’s just in denial that he’s straight no I’m not homophobic y’all are my friends”

  • @Astonthepunk
    @Astonthepunk ปีที่แล้ว +1

    how in the world does he always perfectly finish off the topic right as hes about done with the look like HOW

    • @FredericChen
      @FredericChen  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That is called strategic timing, i literaly took 30 min on foundation and didn’t speak

  • @muffinman_4
    @muffinman_4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    being tolerant isn't being an ally *cough* mom and dad *cough cough*

  • @Ares_V
    @Ares_V ปีที่แล้ว

    Omg, I'm one of those that recently found your channel because of the shorts and I love how right you are.

  • @gaiidabello5476
    @gaiidabello5476 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Frederic Chen 2023 - “some people dont deserve keyboards” 😂😂😂

  • @chip4410
    @chip4410 ปีที่แล้ว

    My guy opens my mind even further, introducing me to all sorts of different viewpoints, vernacular, and make up brushes