What Does a Casual Relationship Mean to a Guy?

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ธ.ค. 2024

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  • @sharonnjeri3581
    @sharonnjeri3581 2 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    I made a mistake of thinking a guy would change his mind once and the tears I cried could fill buckets🤣 never again!

  • @charlierae8266
    @charlierae8266 2 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    Casual means: Can I just use you?

    • @jonb8633
      @jonb8633 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Not exactly, if both agree both win

  • @jamilladanae
    @jamilladanae 3 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    a real man doesn’t value a woman based off of how soon or how often they have sex with you. that’s immature thinking and has been proven not to be true. it’s just an indirect way of slut shaming

    • @MatthewCoast
      @MatthewCoast  3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Of course it's true

    • @jamilladanae
      @jamilladanae 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@MatthewCoast no. it actually isn’t

    • @qazedc3
      @qazedc3 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Jesus this guy devalued me for not having sex with him on the second date and had the audacity to call me a selfish lover when I literally still gave him foreplay and finished him off. Entitled ass men who ? Insecurity and toxic masculinity where ?

    • @valentine-p2r
      @valentine-p2r ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I don't know why women don't listen to men when they tell you what they look for and what turns them on and what turns them off. If a teacher is telling you something and you are eager to learn then you listen and take on board his lecture of the day. You don't sit there and tell him no he is wrong..weird! @@jamilladanae

  • @charlierae8266
    @charlierae8266 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    Women, stop entertaining these types of abusive & selfishly opportunitistic men. This is NOT ok to use Women like pleasure objects while they run after more Women. These men are shallow, emotionally stunted and disordered. Please stop giving men who act like this excuses as "afraid/scared/vulnerable". They are flat our using you and have ZERO remorse or empathy. These types of men are sociopathic, narcissistic, and toxic. When he says "I'm looking for someone casual", he means "can I just use and abuse you and keep you on breadcrumbs as narcissistic supply?" Girls: RUN 🏃‍♀️

    • @qazedc3
      @qazedc3 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I wish I saw this 2 years ago...or someone told me the truth....🙁 that narcissistic man child was the catalyst for my healing and putting my foot down to not let people walk on me. But let's not give them credit 🙄

    • @ReneishaBramlett-dz8hx
      @ReneishaBramlett-dz8hx 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Lol, you said it it's true I can relate to it they don't see any value in you. Pray off your emotions. Love hurting. You still treat you like a sex toy

  • @ruchijharbade4193
    @ruchijharbade4193 4 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    This guy has spoken out some very harsh realities in 6 minutes.
    Much needed ! Thankyou.

  • @leopardduck4490
    @leopardduck4490 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I was the guy in the casual relationship. And after 5 dates, and so many hours spent together, I realized that I never wanted a casual relationship. All I ever wanted was to love someone, and I got lost along the way.
    As a guy, it’s so easy to seek sex. It’s easy to think “it would be so sick to have 3 casual girlfriends” or “I want to have sex with her, but I don’t like her like that.” But eventually, when you spend enough time with someone, you finally see them as a person, and it’s not just sex anymore. It’s never just sex after a certain point.
    I regret that I let myself become driven by sex. More accurately, I was driven by the desire to be looked at well socially. I wanted to be a player, but that wasn’t who I was at all.
    So to my guy friends scrolling through this video, please be honest with yourself and who you really are. Some of us were born to be lovers in life, in every relationship (romantic or otherwise). Just because you’re young, or attractive, or you’ve spent a lot of time as a teenager thinking it was cool to sleep with a lot of girls, doesn’t mean you have to become that. Some of us are passionate, emotional, sensitive people, and that’s actually a lot cooler. I wish I realized that about myself earlier.

  • @TutuLolaAboh
    @TutuLolaAboh 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    I think it’s necessary for both parties both agree its casual from the beginning.
    When both parties hangout a lot, go on dates and also how he treats you like spending time with you which can lead to catching feelings the n its not casual.

  • @scubagirl1971
    @scubagirl1971 3 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    The guy I was seeing just put me in the casual category- now he’s lost his value to me and has become a risk.

    • @akuasalaam490
      @akuasalaam490 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Love how you worded that.

  • @billieglasscock7465
    @billieglasscock7465 4 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    Why can’t I find a video where the woman wants casual but the man wants committed?!! I don’t want to lose my independence and honesty I don’t want a man around every damn day!! Make that video!!

    • @jannusaugustine7363
      @jannusaugustine7363 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Oh, my god same here. I really don't want to be with the same man throughout my life. I want to be totally casual and independent at the same time honest to my own self

    • @winning3329
      @winning3329 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Because not all women sleep around like you!
      Women are not biology wired to be acting like men and sleeping around.
      That's why you can't find any videos because women like you loose one's are not common.

    • @MatthewCoast
      @MatthewCoast  4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Because I only work with women who want committed relationships. If you want something casual, that's easy to get into.

    • @sukiofkyoshi5352
      @sukiofkyoshi5352 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@winning3329 I have so many issues with this comment omg

    • @BINFP
      @BINFP 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same

  • @allhailsunshine052
    @allhailsunshine052 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    It’s basically friends with benefits . They want gf benefits but not commit .

  • @kaylyng7863
    @kaylyng7863 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Casual = don’t waste your time.

    • @MatthewCoast
      @MatthewCoast  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks for sharing, Kay.

  • @MissHannah2036
    @MissHannah2036 6 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    If the guy's decided it's going to be casual, it's not going to be anything else. Only if from the beginning if he was possibly looking for a relationship or open minded may there be a chance. But the guy will make the decision and you will have no say in the matter. Best always to ask up front what they are looking for in a relationship although and if there a little ambiguous he's going to take what he can get.

    • @MatthewCoast
      @MatthewCoast  6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      It is best to talk about this up front.

    • @stevenarnold4438
      @stevenarnold4438 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Commitment can happen in a casual relationship, it's just not the norm. If you are in a casual relationship and you want more, you must speak to your partner and let them know. If they don't express interest, the upside of a casual relationship is you can simply start dating and there's no real need to break up with them first or get their permission. Since there was never a commitment or a formal relationship in the first place, there's nothing to stop you from looking for someone who can meet your needs.

    • @anniem2777
      @anniem2777 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I’m a girl though and I do this. I got hurt badly in a long term relationship years ago, and since then I can’t do serious relationships. The thought of it makes me sick 😷 I love the physical aspect and I don’t want the emotional. I have friends and family for that

  • @hopefully2224
    @hopefully2224 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Before considering ANY of this advice...consider if you actually even like the guy. Don't sleep with him until YOU have vetted him. Casual sex creates soul ties, women get attached to possibility and this alone will keep us in a toxic situation for waaay too long

    • @MatthewCoast
      @MatthewCoast  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks for sharing!

    • @qazedc3
      @qazedc3 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The toxic kind of soul tie where you spend too much time deluding yourself into thinking he is your twin flame and you're just in separation but will reunite and declare your love for one another some day or another so you watch endless tarot pick a card videos and read twin flame instagram posts thinking you still have some elusive spiritual love going on 😭
      There I am able to make fun of myself, my healing has come some ways. If anyone could relate to my above message please do yourself a great service, read some psychology and relationship books and heal the parental wounds that caused you to think you dont deserve real honest genuine love.

    • @Purplelove32
      @Purplelove32 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      My friend is in one of these relationships cuz when she calls me it’s always about the guy calling her at 3am just to have sex and nothing more and she head over heels for this guy and I don’t know how to tell her she is just a booty call for this guy. But it’s not my place to speak on it so I don’t say anything I just don’t want her to get hurt knowing this guy does not value her and only values her body and he is feeding her nothing but lies

  • @maryterrell9701
    @maryterrell9701 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Casual meaning he can have other women

  • @landriahm6161
    @landriahm6161 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    He said we’re casual but admit its painful.

  • @soyetapaul6379
    @soyetapaul6379 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    I think friends with benefits is not bad. If both of them want casual relationship then that'll be ok

    • @MatthewCoast
      @MatthewCoast  5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      The problem arises when someone starts wanting something more... which almost always happens within the first couple months... then YOU think you want something more but you got into a situation that almost never goes anywhere.

    • @winning3329
      @winning3329 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Friends with benefits is a selfish self serving situation brought on by men and any woman who involves themselves always ends up losing big time.
      Men get to save money on paying a prostitute and the woman is left with emotional scars that can last a life time.
      Women are not biology wired to be sleeping around like men do.

    • @zero1188
      @zero1188 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@winning3329 not true at all. maybe that only happens to you. plenty women themselves rather causal relationships. long as both people intentions are clear or just want similar things then they both benefit

    • @noulafrantz8589
      @noulafrantz8589 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@winning3329 no you lying friend with benefits does work for some people

    • @salazarslytha
      @salazarslytha 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@noulafrantz8589 they lie to themselves to make it work. Fwb is gross. Sleeping with one person can mean sleeping with as much as 20 people depending on the experience of the partner. People are crazy as hell.

  • @MajaMVukic
    @MajaMVukic 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I was in two relationships for 7 years, now i met i guy that i dont think is relationship material but we have a good vibe. He seems fun and gets my mind to relax. I wanna try to date him casually, but i dont wanna get hurt..idk what to do😂

    • @R1senb18c
      @R1senb18c ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Get out of your head, no risk, no reward! :)

    • @SamahMakawy
      @SamahMakawy ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah, but let him know and don't hurt him

  • @stuffnthings231
    @stuffnthings231 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I was wondering what a casual relationship was so I could be good at it, but everyone seems to think it's a bad thing 😓

    • @Education-xp6hx
      @Education-xp6hx ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It’s not a good idea at all trust me it will not benefit you anything in terms of mentally spiritually and physically

  • @annstar2793
    @annstar2793 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    What if he says “it’s casual to start but maybe we’ll be boyfriend /girlfriend later if that’s ok with you, but I don’t believe in sleeping with other people once we start doing this…” wtf… confusion isn’t a good sign….

    • @TravelBug189
      @TravelBug189 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Bad sign get away!!! That means he wants you only for sex AND he wants to take you off the market just so he can have you all to himself. Sounds extremely selfish. If he wants exclusivity then why doesn’t he want a relationship? You’ll spend months, maybe even years with this guy hoping and waiting that someday this might get serious but it won’t

  • @mana-uv7cz
    @mana-uv7cz 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I never thought that he would change his mind it really hurt realizing he didn’t care about me and when I say care I mean see me as a human being

  • @teodorapavlovic2428
    @teodorapavlovic2428 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    What seems to be most problematic and hypocritical when it comes to men's behaviours in these types of "arrangements"is the fact that they always seem to give up on the fling with a woman that has as much of control over herself as they have.This may come across as weird reasoning coming from a woman but , since my golden rule for preventing falling in love in these types of relationships has always been to either sleep with a guy that is not as good looking or not as smart and therefore not very likable ,but I always seem to encounter difficilties making conscious decision to get involved in these types of relationships when a guy is the dominant one.Usually I am the one who sets the boundries and who likes to have control of whether I want to see him every day or wheter I dont feel like it or texting him constantly.That is usually my bottom line when I would say "Enough is enough , the guy's not worth the hunt".What 's really bothering me is ,therefore ,the type of situation in which men do initially know they "apparently" don't see me as dating material but in which they, however find it completely ok to be not only spending their days with me but planing activities ,weekend or even date nights.The reason I find this so hard to wrap my head around is because , from my point of view ,there are things exclusively meant to be "deserved" and "reserved"for an emotional partner and those things should be a part of your and your lover's every day routine.I mean, it 's one thing for a guy to know some polite manners but In those situations , I am not really sure whether the guy is trying to trick me into thinking his intentions are not malicious in terms of wanting to use me or do guys maybe don't have the problem handling that as us women do.I have had that problems days ago with the noutorious on -again-off -again guy I 've been texting and when he wanted serious commitment I was fucked up by my past relationship.Prior to that , he asked me out on a date only to have me cancelled because , allegedelly ,was he to have seen me and started dating me then , he would have had the feeling that he has intellectually cheated on his ex with me.That was two years ago so my question is , why the fuck would he think we could have made as a couple then when his break up was still fresh and now ,two years post that relationship trauma of his he wants to keep things casual but apparently "us possibly getting involved in a sexual connecting doesn't have to eliminate other possibilties".Was all that part of his bullshit or the guy doesn't have his shit together?
    Please,clearify.

    • @salazarslytha
      @salazarslytha 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      His feedback from you is that you don’t have your shit together so he’s probably confused and passively trying to keep you around for sex because sex with you is easy - he doesn’t have to work for it. For a guy, that’s jackpot energy. Especially that he knows you in some regard. Which increase the level of intimacy. Men need it too. It makes the sex better. But it won’t make the sex matter, especially since, if I understood you correctly, he’s hung up on an ex.

    • @salazarslytha
      @salazarslytha 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I hope you grew past this two years later.

  • @chetangnanesh2180
    @chetangnanesh2180 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I agree with what he said for the first four minutes in the video. that is the case with me. however, a woman’s value to me would not be decreased if she sleeps with me the first time we meet. neither, in my case, the more I have sex with a woman, the less I value her. If I like a woman, I value her, and while I might start looking for other sexual partners the romance will never die.

  • @queenmother123
    @queenmother123 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This makes so much sense.

  • @theislandgirllimasawa6213
    @theislandgirllimasawa6213 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I really don't like casual but i like casual dress 👗 💁lol 😂

  • @Arakari
    @Arakari ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Absolutely not? "There's no risk for the guy". The risk is her, bro. If it's defined as "casual", and things dont work out, you're risking losing *HER*. And as a serial monogamist...casual dating just doesn't work for me. There are too many "what ifs" and variables at play. Like, I'm not gonna bother dating someone if they're lowkey dating someone else while "dating" me. I'd rather just find somebody whos willing to invest just as much time into me, as I am investing into them, and commit to that individual person, instead of keeping my options open,

  • @AnnieSimsie
    @AnnieSimsie 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    this is kinda sad

    • @patricknezan5881
      @patricknezan5881 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      One thing is not having a relationship because you can t find the right person another thing is sexual dating. Sexual datings reflects your life in a sad way, when you start dating everyone (ex: 1 person/week) is like when you avoid responsabilities in your life. Sometimes you feel too much freedom, to much pleasure and it can distract you from your real goals in life. It’s like pleasuring yourself all days is not Good even if it feels great, it can easily ruin your life in long term. That s just my thought men but you don t have to agree haha.

    • @joehernandez3538
      @joehernandez3538 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@patricknezan5881 Almost like going every weekend to the mall and purchasing items one does not need, but it feels good to have something new. Once that item has been in our possession for a certain amount of time we become bored of it, and look for the next item to give us the same feeling of satisfaction we got from the first item. Overall, our wallet suffers if we don't catch on the cycle and our behavior in time.

    • @deelightful9730
      @deelightful9730 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It seems so one sided...unfair. But true.

  • @rachaelangel4334
    @rachaelangel4334 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Well this sucks. I went on a date with this guy and I thought it was going good and he said that he didn't think it would work out etc and I didn't leave right away so he asked me what I thought about something casual and I said I don't usually do that but you are cute. And we just went out again and he did put in some effort for it and we did sleep together. I never wanted something casual. I liked him and he was ready to just go so I made a exception. I know it sounds stupid

    • @hopefully2224
      @hopefully2224 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Be honest. It sounds like you thought sleeping with him would hook him.

    • @rachaelangel4334
      @rachaelangel4334 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@hopefully2224 yea, sounds a little silly now 😅

  • @MrPabloguida
    @MrPabloguida 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    You couldn't be further from the truth! Or it can apply to some or most guys, but not all, and it certainly does not apply to me.

    • @MatthewCoast
      @MatthewCoast  5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Right, it applies to most guys

    • @bobaboyuwu
      @bobaboyuwu 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Actually, he was pretty spot on, in my opinion.

  • @hoiliswu6070
    @hoiliswu6070 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Good massage thanks for sharing yes Women only my life forever

  • @MegaABBEYDAWN
    @MegaABBEYDAWN 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Im fine w it. But why he suddenly told me to focus on me and him? I dont get it

  • @nminenko
    @nminenko 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    What if a guy says “I’m not boyfriend material” and says that’s how he is, that it doesn’t have to do with me? Is there any way to get him to switch his thinking?

    • @salazarslytha
      @salazarslytha 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      No, girl. It’s an inherent lie. Every guy is boyfriend material to himself. That he’s telling you that is a cue to back off.

    • @catherinenewman6516
      @catherinenewman6516 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Leave him

    • @catherinenewman6516
      @catherinenewman6516 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      He will hurt you but you have been warned

  • @bhunyee
    @bhunyee 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    so being used as a sex object …. what a surprise.

  • @fionadale1011
    @fionadale1011 ปีที่แล้ว

    Weirdly all the long term relationships I had I slept with them in the first night. I don't agree with this and the guy I'm currently hung up on I'm pretty much 100% sure he fell in love and it's scared the shit out if him, and he is not sleeping with me but preferring to sleep with other women he is feeling less involved with (and therefore less likely to get hurt)

  • @jeaniek4980
    @jeaniek4980 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    It just means they want sex, nothing else.

  • @Caelumlovescrystals
    @Caelumlovescrystals 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Can you give advice when a guy is taking more distance then needed

  • @dlo1335
    @dlo1335 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Wow you have a really good point

  • @Princess15732
    @Princess15732 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Can you plz make a video for people who follow no sex before marriage policy!
    I just lost a good guy because I told him that I won't engage in a sexual intimacy with him. It's so hard to find a guy like that here because of the culture

    • @DinaStrange
      @DinaStrange 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      he wasn't good, lol.

    • @TravelBug189
      @TravelBug189 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      He might be a good guy, just not the right guy for her. Some people simply can’t wait until they get married to have sex for the first time. If I went out with a guy and he told me he wouldn’t have sex until marriage I would definitely respect his decision but I wouldn’t be able to wait however long that took. I need that intimacy with my partner. Not right away of course, only within a committed exclusive relationship

    • @DinaStrange
      @DinaStrange 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@TravelBug189 he wasn't good.

  • @Rebecca-jh1ct
    @Rebecca-jh1ct 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I feel played and manipulated. I got lied to. I’m done lol cba with this

  • @joansheekey9874
    @joansheekey9874 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Yur so right and in all yu said ♥️👍

  • @mikeyoung7640
    @mikeyoung7640 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What about men why is this about women why not both genders. There’s one woman I know her name is Rachelle she wants a casual friendship. But I want more than a casual friendship. And she someone I went to high school with 10 years ago

    • @MatthewCoast
      @MatthewCoast  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey Mike, this is a women's dating channel... if you need advice, go to a men's channel like this one... th-cam.com/users/TrippAdvice

  • @vickybblanchard9453
    @vickybblanchard9453 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thsnks i got a GOOD bit OF information TO help ME

  • @theislandgirllimasawa6213
    @theislandgirllimasawa6213 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank u for this vid. Now i know what casual really means 👍

    • @winning3329
      @winning3329 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      It means free prostitute for the man.

    • @blacksea6608
      @blacksea6608 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@winning3329 not like that , girls like the guy, that guy make the girl feel hot and horny , this doesn’t apply to prostitute.

  • @LaraLavin-x7p
    @LaraLavin-x7p 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It’s not true. My one night stands turned to serious relationships and the ones I waited didn’t go anywhere.. I am married now, guess what; with a man I slept with for just fun lol

  • @MrFastFarmer
    @MrFastFarmer 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Funny. Is this kid even out of nappies?

  • @jahnaviyelshetty287
    @jahnaviyelshetty287 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    But wat if u had sex after a year of talking

  • @blueblaze9862
    @blueblaze9862 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I always assumed fwb..most women kno this

  • @sannalarsson9671
    @sannalarsson9671 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I started date a guy a month ago, we met one time and we had an awesome date he said that it was a really good date and he like it a lot, we are talking every day, but he lives a few miles from me and he has his kids every other week and I have my daughter every other week as well so it’s not so easy to just meet. Yesterday he was at his hosted the whole day and had a few beers and drinks. He calls me when he’s on his way to his friend and we talked for a little and he said he had a fun day and he like to have fun, and he told me that he liked our date and that he likes me and that he’s so happy that we both want to take it as it comes and see how things progress and that he likes that it’s no rules and he liked that I want that also. And he liked that I also said that I want to take it as it comes with no rules. This I never told him I don’t know what he got it from. We never talked about this. I like him and thought that we were at the same page but now I don’t know. He told me that he wants to see me tomorrow again.

  • @patjohnson9794
    @patjohnson9794 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    So true.

  • @طموحبلاحدود-ب2ث
    @طموحبلاحدود-ب2ث 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great 👍🏻

  • @anya3962
    @anya3962 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I’m in a casual relationship right now 🥺and I was like choose between her and me and he chose her so I don’t know how to feel or act he says he loves me like a friend and low key wants to be with me but like he keeps making me jealous

    • @AmiyaAnthony
      @AmiyaAnthony 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sounds like a man that just got caught cheating trying to justify & make excuses no I hope you ran away 😂

  • @monicalevyt
    @monicalevyt 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The best of You Tube

  • @samboriboun7866
    @samboriboun7866 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    They will be rewarded with the bible

  • @user-ie2jh5pi2x
    @user-ie2jh5pi2x 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What a load of BS 😂

  • @hoiliswu6070
    @hoiliswu6070 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Good massage thanks for sharing yes Women only my life forever