Your illness doesn’t take away one bit from your worthiness and beauty inside and out!! Take it easy… the art school won’t ever be the only way for you to evolve in your art. Try not to put pressure on yourself ❤ Take good care of you 🥰 Vlogging is art too!
Hi - I have schizophrenia too and I know all those struggles. I have trouble keeping my place clean and cooking and doing other stuff also. Luckily I have a cleaner that helps me for 2 hours a week and I am studying a degree also but I do it part time. I also work part time (2 days a week). I wasnt able to do a degree in person in uni but I found I was able to study a degree by doing it as home study (distance learning) - all options to think about. Best of luck with your journey
Hi Kimberly, maybe try doing 1%. My therapist told me this and it really helps. Making it 1% better, or washing 1 cup. And then usually I end up feeling like I can do more than that. This might help you, I hope. I have depression really bad and this idea helps me get some stuff done. But yeah before I got really sick with depression, I worked full time and did college and was a caregiver and working is the most I can do now, and I barely manage. I talked to my therapist about this, how I used to be able to do stuff and now I can’t, and she said it’s the illness and I’m in a different phase in life now. Maybe that’s partly true for you too? I remember you mentioned that you did really well in school. It’s hard reconciling that with the how the illness impacts that. Our expectations are different than reality. I struggle with this and working, I put myself down a lot because I’m not able to do as much. But maybe if you can tell yourself, I’m going to do 1% of this assignment. I’m going to make this painting 1% better. And you might find you can do more than that. Or I’m going to go to class 1% today and then you might end up staying longer. It takes the pressure off, at least for me when I think this way. I hope this is at least a little helpful, and I hope you feel better soon 💐💐💐
It’s so hard to study with mental illness I’ve found, so I understand your struggle! I really hope they can make accommodations for you as I can tell you love art! Rooting for you 🧡
Hi Kimberly! Just wanted to say I relate to your struggles. I don't have schizophrenia, but I am autistic and I have been in autistic burn out for over a year now. I struggle so much with executive functions, cleaning, organizing, and cooking. Basically taking care of myself well. I really admire how you are able to pick yourself back up and work towards your goals, even if it is a bit of a rollercoaster. I hope you know how much hard work that takes and how strong you are! It is inspiring and comforting to me to know that there are others out there who struggle with similar things. I'm rooting for you! 🥰
Part time at art school may be the best thing until you feel better That is how I was able to go to college Dont be so hard on yourself! You have a great support network.My mom used to be my support but she passed away. Things will get better.When you have a setback you feel discouraged but they dont last.I've had many setbacks but still manage to hang in there. My apartment is messy also but I try to do a little each day toclean Some days when I'am very depressed I can't do anything Please don't ever give up.Good luck.❤
I’m glad you caught it so early this time! Please be patient with yourself. Even without schizophrenia, going to school after so long and adjusting would be very difficult and stressful! You’re doing everything you can.
Sounds really positive that you were able to recognize the symptoms before they got out of control! And you were so proactive with taking steps to make a plan for what to do. Honestly, as someone with just depression, anxiety and insomnia I struggle with some of these executive function and self care tasks as well. I hope things improve soon
Looking so good, girl! The soup sounds wonderful. Keep making art. I saw something recently that stopped me in my tracks. “Creativity is the opposite of despair.” It inspired me to write… I’m sure you understand. 💌
The biggest thing I have learned with regards to mental health is that there will always be unexpected things that happen that set you back. The key is to exercise self-care so that you can bounce back, which you seem to be doing. You can get through this!
You are a blessing. Cooking is an art. Your soups are always healthy and colorful. Your kitties are fun entertainment, bringing laughter and joy. Autumn is so artful with it beautiful colors, changes, and crispy temperatures. Rest and enjoy today. Tomorrow is to come and yesterday is gone .Hugs and l ❤ ve.
Hi Kimberly! I love the brightly coloured painting behind you! It's gotta be in oils. Love it. I am a former smoker who stopped because breathing had become too difficult. Rather than say anything about this current part of your life, I can only suggest that , when you feel like it, educate yourself about cigarettes. I have not done this and this sounds most unreasonable since I spent 54 years smoking. But perhaps, while allowing yourself to smoke, you could research it. It's been a few years since I had a cigarette. I chew nicotine gum off and on all day, every day. I miss cigarettes but don't touch them. I simply do not have enough room in my lungs for air and smoke too. Thank you, Kimberly for this vlog. In the kitchen I observed a familiar feeling, that when I watch your vlogs, your home and my home are ONE home! Thank you for living with me! ❤😃👍
Hi Dave! Thank you, I did quit smoking 3 years ago but sadly I still smoke when im feeling very down, I should I know but thats life sometimes. I don't plan on continuing though. 🥰 Thank you! 💚
It’s rough. I feel you. Yesterday I was surrounded by street theatre. I ignore and don’t listen. I just push through the day to make it home and recoup in hopes I’m not in physical or mental pain on the weekend. I’m proud of you for pushing and trying to accomplish your goals.
@@Kimberly_Viktoria I might never feel the same as I did 2 years ago. I’ve been in “psychosis” for 2 years straight but that hasn’t stopped me from working, gardening, and being myself (kinda). Sometimes I get the rambles just going through my head. I’m able to overcome it like I did with depression but I’m scared one day I might not be able to override it like I do now. Some people say you can’t stop hallucinating but I can sometimes. I just say “I don’t have time for this” like when a delusional hallucination happens. I mean like the big screen kind, like your whole view in front of you. I can’t stop the shadows and quick circle movements I see though.
@@natas12rm Oh wow, i don't think I have ever been able to do that, my anxiety when i'm psychotic usually worsen the experience and make it so i'm unable to function I think... I wish you well and hope you have a good week! ❤🩹
Stay strong, I'm sure everything will work out in the end. Remember whenever you take control of situations like you are now, things get better with the hallucinations. It doesn't happen over night, but I find things work out a lot better than I expected. Not only is it difficult to notice escelations of the hallucinations, but more often than not pushing through the escelations and embrace it, not letting it control you and overcome your fear is a way to go in the long run. I hallucinate daily, it gets worse than what you experience for me daily. But I've learnt to adapt to it and I push my limits every day. I want to stay in control of my own life. I'm sure you can too. Good luck.
Hi dear. I’m heartbroken to hear how you are feeling. I’m so glad you caught the symptoms earlier. Hopefully, you can feel better soon. You’re blessed with a supportive family as well. I hope that you are able to continue part time in school. That would be amazing. It’s good you are up to doing a little cleaning and walking. Please rest as much as you can. Since making YT videos brings you happiness maybe you can just film a little here and there and edit when you feel a bit better. I’m praying so hard for you. You’re a huge inspiration to me. You might recall me from our short little convos under your videos. I understand your difficulties 100% as I live with severe Bipolar 1 Disorder with psychosis. Enjoy your little treat you bought yourself. Sending lots of love and prayers from USA ❤
Thank you! Im not giving up yet on art school, I just need some time to rest, which im doing. Im so glad I have a support system too. Sending you a hug! 🤗❤🩹💚
@Kimberly_Viktoria Yes dear, never give up! You got this! Just rest and recuperate ♥️ Sending you a big hug as well. Keep us posted if you are up to it. Sincerely, Dipa 🤗
Good luck! Its so hard to have schizophrenia. I have tried studying too like 3 times but it hasn't worked out for me because of my symptoms... But maybe studying part time is a good idea... you seem to have control of your symptoms more than I did... and you are doing great, doing everyting right... Your goulasch looks great =)
Lovely to see you again. Hope you manage to find a happy medium with art school and the rest of life. There’s no shame on doing life the way that suits you, even if it feels like you’re not keeping up with others. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m neurodivergent and have schizoaffective disorder and that’s why my life looks different. But I still find myself at times wishing I could just do things how everyone else does! Sending love 💜
Oh thank you! I can really relate to what you write, wishing you could do things the way most people do. Sending you some love back, thank you for your lovely comment! 💚
my yelling that i did in the past comes up everyday im reminded of my worst psychotic moments alwasys ever since i got a tbi ive been ruined but i finally got a med that works i hate when my symptoms come up i get in a trance its awful
Hi Kimberly, I'm sending you gentle hugs, and praying and hoping that school works out and you can go part time. I still see you doing your best even when things get upsetting for you. I try to take things one day at a time, but still I know it is hard when we go through a lot of crap! I guess I should say challenges. You're very talented and art is your passion, so never give up! I'm so glad you have a good support system in your life. You are a beautiful person inside and out! Hang in there gurly! 😘🤗💚💜💚
Sorry to hear it's been rough :/ Try not to be so hard on. yourself though...sometimes when we struggle with mental health it's hard to do stuff like clean. Same as if someone is struggling with a physical health flare. Sending good thoughts your way from Texas
Hi Kimberly, thanks for sharing your journey. I have been trying to recover from schizophrenia and I recognize now what my symptoms are, so that helps.very similar to what you go through. I read a study that said black tea tannins and cola can lessen the effect of antipsych meds. I gave up my favorite, Earl Grey. I've been studying somatics and trauma. Trauma from psychosis is real. That's where I try to focus for healing. Some days are good, some not so much. I recently moved and looking for new job. It's stressful in some ways. I suffer from paranoia and right now I'm living in an apt without curtains on the huge sliding glass doors. It's causing my symptoms to flare up. I used to smoke cigarettes off and on, too. It took me years to get over it. Also be aware how female body chemistry changes during menopause. That really impacted my well being. Especially post. I suffer from loneliness and isolation now, a lot. May your days ahead find you feeling better! ❤ The tides of this illness are very challenging. I'm happy to meet you and your courage to share. Thank you so much! We are not alone. 😊 Blessings for a good day!
Hi Kimberly !! Remember nothing last forever even good things so this episode Will pass too Fresh fruits help me to improve my mood and go for a walk in a quiet and beautiful natural place ,maybe listening music at the same time. the tireness yoy feel is caused much for the treatment you are taking..take it easy and don't worry and think too much about it and all pass faster I wish you recover soon 🙂😘
I've noticed that the transition periods from one season to another have an impact on my psychotic symptoms. My symptoms became worse when the weather started changing and when it was beginning to feel more like fall. Maybe it could play a part in why your symptoms kinda came back? Just an idea haha 😀 also, take it easy. your health is most important. Oh and i also feel like a good hearty soup is therapy in a bowl btw. 🤣 (Not me craving soup rn)
sometimes when i get paranoid i start to do things that would cause actual paranoia and then i stop caring lol. i dont really care anymore about feeling like im being followed or spied on, it's kind of like, if youre going to do it just do it and im going to try to not give a shit
Part time sounds great for you. You’re doing so well with recognising the issues surrounding the mental illness ❤❤❤ definitely need more time doing happy things ❤❤❤
Ok Kimberley, I haven't watched your video till the end yet (I'm gonna do so), but I have to tell you now something that I think would help you and something you may not know. This might be something specific, but it's just that I want to point out things that might work, new ways of thinking, alternative ways and in general a holistic, authentic approach on disorders for them to - hopefully - heal. (I have bipolar, type 2. I already call myself in remission. My family has a genetic disposition for schizophrenia as well...) So, I know that I don't know in depth how things work in our bodies concerning the nutrients that we consume by eating food. But I feel that I know something through experience and bits and pieces of information that I absorbed all the way long. So... I was vegan and I never should have done that, never should have gone on a vegan diet. Long story short: There are nutrients in meat that our body needs. And probably in some years all the national organizations dealing with nutrition will come to terms that many, if not all, so-called carni-nutrients are essential. Essential nutrients. You may have heard of Lauren Kennedy West who was able to taper her medications to zero after around 8 or 9 months of the ketogenic diet for therapeutic means. I don't know much about the ketogenic diet. But what I know is that some nutrients found in meat are good for regenerating well from - stress. Basically a form of stress. Creatine is known for so long for helping athletes, just as well as beta-alanine, a precursor of carnosine. A lack of carnosine was linked to neurological and neurodegenrative illnesses, like depression, alzheimer and also schizophrenia. An increased intake of carnosine, a supplementation with it, in autistic people (I think it was children) was correlated with better speach. However our bodies are good at synthesizing carnosine through the supplemantation of beta-alanine (given that the second precursor histidine is available), that's why beta-alanine is so famous amongst athletes. I take a multi-nutrient supplement from Watson Nutrition, but I want to supplement beta-alanine as well. Just waiting for them to bring out their beta-alanine product cos they are the brand I trust (they will have the slow release type and as usual they will have their supplements checked for other substances by independent laboratories). For now I guess my body is filling its depots now that I eat meat again and I already feel so much better. (That's why I wrote, I am in remission). Anyways. I trully believe that a generel healthy lifestyle, through healthy eating, cooking and encorporating meat as well as a general open-minded and intuitive look on food, besides exercising according to one's fitness level and self improvement/personal developement are key to our overall health. (By self imrpovement I don't mean this Do-more-Get-more-things-done-Exercise-and-lose-weight-thing btw. I just mean "Persönlichkeitsentwicklung" as we call it in German.) So basically, what I'm trying to say is that we should be honest with ourselves and work on ourselves if we want to get better, and the things that are known to help will do actually help, but there might be few things that could help us on our journey and accelerate it, and that is food and the right choice of it - and in some cases supplementation. I strongly beleive in that, and I am so grateful that I was able to find a good supplementation brand that one Austrian PhD student in nutrition works together with. Through his competent work of analysizing studies and meta-analysis and turning that now digestible infos into videos that everybody can watch while also seeing & feeling the depth behind it, I have been able to slowly heal from my deprived body & brain. Now, in case you are wondering why I am even mentioning foreign brands to you: 1. As far as I remember they also ship to Sweden. 2. If you really consider taking supplements, then I hope you will do your research on what nutrients are needed, what nutrients are falsely considered not essential, and which nutrients are good in which dosage and bad in which dosage. (There's a quote from a Swiss doctor, from many hundred years ago, Paracelsus, and he said something like "All things are poison and nothing is without poison. Only the dosage makes something not be poison.") So I hope I could bring across a few things that I wanted to bring across in order to reevaluate our habits and our long-term medication intake. These are probably already lots of characters now and I don't wanna ecceed the characer limitation for comments, lol (already happened to me once), so I'll just stop here and say bye and lovely greetings from Berlin, Germany :)
I know it's hard. I've been through many many different jobs and it was hard for me to stay more than a year. Now in my life somethings are better and some are worse. I am recovering from a 4 year trip being homeless. I'm getting better and looking to return to work when I can.
Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I've started eating badly again too. In my case I eat chocolate bars instead of meals. I hope your art course is better able to accomodate you. In the UK we get disabled student support, things like mindmap software and audio notetaking software to help with coursework. I didn't get any accomodations on the performance side of my course even though my memory isn't as good as it once was. I was hoping they would let me read lyrics while performing.
Thank you and i'm also sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better soon too. We do have something similar here but i'm not really sure how it works but i'm hoping it will be brought up on the meeting with the headmaster. Take care!💚
I just started on a new medication. I will update if it’s been a success. My therapist asked me why I drink. And I say that’s the only time my brain will let me go. Let go of all the ocd and sensory overload and such. All the thoughts. And I can’t sleep well. So she started me on something new. So far I like it. And I have never liked a medication. And I’m scared of weight gain. But I can’t remember the name right now. As I’m in bed. lol. And I’m lazy. But I will tell later. But idk if you’re like me and feel the need to numb it all. Maybe that’s not what you need we are all different in our skizo.
Please do update me on how it goes. Luckily I don't really drink but I do smoke cigarettes when I feel especially bad sadly... I hope you feel better soon too! ❤️🩹
Awww Honey. Bummer week. You've had worse though I think. Nicotine seems to work good with schizophrenia. You've probably heard that there's researchers who are trying to make a medicine out of it, but the problem is the part of the molecule that helps is also the addictive part, and separating it out makes it ineffective. Colgate Wisps are single use throw away travel toothbrushes that have a little glob of toothpaste on them. I think you can use them with no water and no need to rinse. Might be good to have some handy for the times when you can't get off the couch. $15 for 24 of them. I saw them mentioned in the comments on a depression video. One good thing that is a relief to see you doing is walking. We all need to exercise but when we're sick we don't want to. It's a good sign you are on your feet. Plus standing there painting in school for hours at a time would make anybody tired. So maybe it all makes sense in a way and you can find a way to work around the setback. It all finds a way to catch up with you. And not just you. School is hard. That's why not everyone can do it. There are certain pressures to it that can't be explained, only experienced. You are very special and very determined. Most healthy people wouldn't even think of doing what you are doing. The story isn't over yet, Bud.
Thank you, I'm not giving up yet. I just hope it doesn't worsen, thats what i'm afraid of. It feels like this was caught early so I have definitely been through worse. Thank you! 🥰
Bravo for asking for help and keeping yourself safe. Maybe now it's time to cut yourself some slack. Even "normal" students screw everything up when they go off to school. Going to college is super stressful. Can you get some help with cleaning and cooking? That may take some stress off you. Remember, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. All is not lost. So far, you are doing an amazing job. Take good care of yourself 🙂
Thank you and thank you for the ideas, my mom can probably help me a little with the cleaning at least but its hard to ask for that kind of help.. Take care too! 💚
@@Kimberly_Viktoria I know from my own experience that is hard to ask for help. It's not fair that I have to ask for help, but I've found that people who care for me are happy to help. 🙂
My psychiatrist put it this way “all antipsychotics cause weight gain”. I get a good night sleep and I wake in the morning well rested. I’m able to think more clearly and coherently so I’ve actually lost weight on clozapine!
Kimberly - in our different struggles, I can relate so much. I have experienced minor psychosis in my bipolar mania and I struggle with paranoiad delusions (mostly feeling like everyone is hunting me or wants to capture me) too. I don't know what it feels like to be you - but you are not alone in the experiences you shared. For what it's worth. ❤️🫂 I also share your pain in how exhausting and frustrating episodes are. My psychiatrist has told me the same thing about stress and psychotic symptoms! She said that meds can help reduce symptoms but the best "cure" for psychotic symptoms is to get rid of the stress. Easier said than done. 🙈💞🫂
As someone with schizoaffective disorder I find your videos very relatable and helpful in knowing that I am not alone. Please know that things will change and that they can get better. But about cigarettes - something that i wish I had realized sooner was that the chemicals in cigarettes (not the nicotine interestingly enough, but the other stuff) affect how your body metabolizes some antipsychotics and can dramatically lower their effectiveness. Not what you wanted to hear, I'm sure - but worth looking into and understanding when trying to recover from psychosis. This is a fact, you can look it up and something my psychiatrist has explained to me. If you have nicotine withdrawal, nicotine gum or even vaping do not have this same effect. Please take care and be well ❤️🩹
Your support system includes us. We’re all here for you.
Thank you! 💚
Your illness doesn’t take away one bit from your worthiness and beauty inside and out!! Take it easy… the art school won’t ever be the only way for you to evolve in your art. Try not to put pressure on yourself ❤ Take good care of you 🥰 Vlogging is art too!
Thank you! 🥹💚
Hi - I have schizophrenia too and I know all those struggles. I have trouble keeping my place clean and cooking and doing other stuff also. Luckily I have a cleaner that helps me for 2 hours a week and I am studying a degree also but I do it part time. I also work part time (2 days a week). I wasnt able to do a degree in person in uni but I found I was able to study a degree by doing it as home study (distance learning) - all options to think about. Best of luck with your journey
Thank you! Its so hard to get everything to fit together... Wishing you a great week! 🥰
Hi Kimberly, maybe try doing 1%. My therapist told me this and it really helps. Making it 1% better, or washing 1 cup. And then usually I end up feeling like I can do more than that. This might help you, I hope. I have depression really bad and this idea helps me get some stuff done. But yeah before I got really sick with depression, I worked full time and did college and was a caregiver and working is the most I can do now, and I barely manage. I talked to my therapist about this, how I used to be able to do stuff and now I can’t, and she said it’s the illness and I’m in a different phase in life now. Maybe that’s partly true for you too? I remember you mentioned that you did really well in school. It’s hard reconciling that with the how the illness impacts that. Our expectations are different than reality. I struggle with this and working, I put myself down a lot because I’m not able to do as much. But maybe if you can tell yourself, I’m going to do 1% of this assignment. I’m going to make this painting 1% better. And you might find you can do more than that. Or I’m going to go to class 1% today and then you might end up staying longer. It takes the pressure off, at least for me when I think this way. I hope this is at least a little helpful, and I hope you feel better soon 💐💐💐
Hi!
Thank you! Sending you a hug too! 💚
It’s so hard to study with mental illness I’ve found, so I understand your struggle! I really hope they can make accommodations for you as I can tell you love art! Rooting for you 🧡
Thank you, I hope so too. 💚
Hoping for a good recovery
Hi Kimberly! Just wanted to say I relate to your struggles. I don't have schizophrenia, but I am autistic and I have been in autistic burn out for over a year now. I struggle so much with executive functions, cleaning, organizing, and cooking. Basically taking care of myself well. I really admire how you are able to pick yourself back up and work towards your goals, even if it is a bit of a rollercoaster. I hope you know how much hard work that takes and how strong you are! It is inspiring and comforting to me to know that there are others out there who struggle with similar things. I'm rooting for you! 🥰
Oh thank you so much! This was very encouraging. I hope you have a good day. 💚🥰
Part time at art school may be the best thing until you feel better
That is how I was able to go to college
Dont be so hard on yourself! You have a great support network.My mom used to be my support but she passed away. Things will get better.When you have a setback you feel discouraged but they dont last.I've had many setbacks but still manage to hang in there. My apartment is messy also but I try to do a little each day toclean
Some days when I'am very depressed I can't do anything
Please don't ever give up.Good luck.❤
Thank you Holly! I will not give up yet on art school, I just hope they can accommodate me more going forward. 💚
Don't give up. This too shall pass.
Thank you! I won't! 🥰
I’m glad you caught it so early this time!
Please be patient with yourself. Even without schizophrenia, going to school after so long and adjusting would be very difficult and stressful! You’re doing everything you can.
Thank you! 🥰
Stress is the worst what we can have
That's amazing that you caught the symptoms so early. I hope school can make some adjustments for you
Thank you, I hope so too. 💚
I deeply admire your strength and attitude. Thank you for your openness in sharing your experiences.
Thank you! 🥰
Sounds really positive that you were able to recognize the symptoms before they got out of control! And you were so proactive with taking steps to make a plan for what to do. Honestly, as someone with just depression, anxiety and insomnia I struggle with some of these executive function and self care tasks as well. I hope things improve soon
Thank you! 🥰 I hope you're doing well! 🥰
Looking so good, girl! The soup sounds wonderful. Keep making art. I saw something recently that stopped me in my tracks. “Creativity is the opposite of despair.” It inspired me to write… I’m sure you understand. 💌
I totally understand! Thank you for sharing that with me! 😍💚
The biggest thing I have learned with regards to mental health is that there will always be unexpected things that happen that set you back. The key is to exercise self-care so that you can bounce back, which you seem to be doing. You can get through this!
Thank you! 🥰💚
You are a blessing. Cooking is an art. Your soups are always healthy and colorful. Your kitties are fun entertainment, bringing laughter and joy. Autumn is so artful with it beautiful colors, changes, and crispy temperatures. Rest and enjoy today. Tomorrow is to come and yesterday is gone .Hugs and l ❤ ve.
Thank you so much Cynthia! 🥹 This was a very poetic comment in my opinion! 🥰🍂
Hepper på dig ❤ it will work out.
Thank you! 💚
Hi Kimberly! I love the brightly coloured painting behind you! It's gotta be in oils. Love it. I am a former smoker who stopped because breathing had become too difficult. Rather than say anything about this current part of your life, I can only suggest that , when you feel like it, educate yourself about cigarettes. I have not done this and this sounds most unreasonable since I spent 54 years smoking. But perhaps, while allowing yourself to smoke, you could research it. It's been a few years since I had a cigarette. I chew nicotine gum off and on all day, every day. I miss cigarettes but don't touch them. I simply do not have enough room in my lungs for air and smoke too. Thank you, Kimberly for this vlog. In the kitchen I observed a familiar feeling, that when I watch your vlogs, your home and my home are ONE home! Thank you for living with me! ❤😃👍
Hi Dave! Thank you, I did quit smoking 3 years ago but sadly I still smoke when im feeling very down, I should I know but thats life sometimes. I don't plan on continuing though. 🥰 Thank you! 💚
Hang in there love! I’m struggling to you are not alone 🙏🧡💙😔
Thank you and you too! 💚❤🩹
It’s rough. I feel you. Yesterday I was surrounded by street theatre. I ignore and don’t listen. I just push through the day to make it home and recoup in hopes I’m not in physical or mental pain on the weekend. I’m proud of you for pushing and trying to accomplish your goals.
Thank you, I hope you feel better today? ❤🩹
@@Kimberly_Viktoria I might never feel the same as I did 2 years ago. I’ve been in “psychosis” for 2 years straight but that hasn’t stopped me from working, gardening, and being myself (kinda). Sometimes I get the rambles just going through my head. I’m able to overcome it like I did with depression but I’m scared one day I might not be able to override it like I do now. Some people say you can’t stop hallucinating but I can sometimes. I just say “I don’t have time for this” like when a delusional hallucination happens. I mean like the big screen kind, like your whole view in front of you. I can’t stop the shadows and quick circle movements I see though.
@@natas12rm Oh wow, i don't think I have ever been able to do that, my anxiety when i'm psychotic usually worsen the experience and make it so i'm unable to function I think... I wish you well and hope you have a good week! ❤🩹
@@Kimberly_Viktoriacalm and quiet is the key.
@@natas12rm Aa 🥰
Love you so much ❤
💚
Stay strong, I'm sure everything will work out in the end. Remember whenever you take control of situations like you are now, things get better with the hallucinations. It doesn't happen over night, but I find things work out a lot better than I expected. Not only is it difficult to notice escelations of the hallucinations, but more often than not pushing through the escelations and embrace it, not letting it control you and overcome your fear is a way to go in the long run. I hallucinate daily, it gets worse than what you experience for me daily. But I've learnt to adapt to it and I push my limits every day. I want to stay in control of my own life. I'm sure you can too. Good luck.
Thank you!
Hi dear. I’m heartbroken to hear how you are feeling. I’m so glad you caught the symptoms earlier. Hopefully, you can feel better soon. You’re blessed with a supportive family as well. I hope that you are able to continue part time in school. That would be amazing. It’s good you are up to doing a little cleaning and walking. Please rest as much as you can. Since making YT videos brings you happiness maybe you can just film a little here and there and edit when you feel a bit better. I’m praying so hard for you. You’re a huge inspiration to me. You might recall me from our short little convos under your videos. I understand your difficulties 100% as I live with severe Bipolar 1 Disorder with psychosis. Enjoy your little treat you bought yourself. Sending lots of love and prayers from USA ❤
Thank you! Im not giving up yet on art school, I just need some time to rest, which im doing. Im so glad I have a support system too. Sending you a hug! 🤗❤🩹💚
@Kimberly_Viktoria Yes dear, never give up! You got this! Just rest and recuperate ♥️ Sending you a big hug as well. Keep us posted if you are up to it. Sincerely, Dipa 🤗
@@deegee787 Thank you Dipa! I will. 🥰💚
Good luck!
Its so hard to have schizophrenia.
I have tried studying too like 3 times but it hasn't worked out for me because of my symptoms... But maybe studying part time is a good idea... you seem to have control of your symptoms more than I did... and you are doing great, doing everyting right... Your goulasch looks great =)
Thank you! 🥰
Lovely to see you again. Hope you manage to find a happy medium with art school and the rest of life. There’s no shame on doing life the way that suits you, even if it feels like you’re not keeping up with others. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m neurodivergent and have schizoaffective disorder and that’s why my life looks different. But I still find myself at times wishing I could just do things how everyone else does! Sending love 💜
Oh thank you! I can really relate to what you write, wishing you could do things the way most people do. Sending you some love back, thank you for your lovely comment! 💚
my yelling that i did in the past comes up everyday im reminded of my worst psychotic moments alwasys ever since i got a tbi ive been ruined but i finally got a med that works i hate when my symptoms come up i get in a trance its awful
hsve s good day!!!!
Thank you and you too! 🥰
Hi Kimberly, I'm sending you gentle hugs, and praying and hoping that school works out and you can go part time. I still see you doing your best even when things get upsetting for you. I try to take things one day at a time, but still I know it is hard when we go through a lot of crap! I guess I should say challenges. You're very talented and art is your passion, so never give up! I'm so glad you have a good support system in your life. You are a beautiful person inside and out! Hang in there gurly! 😘🤗💚💜💚
Thank you so much Mary Ann! 🥰💚
@@Kimberly_Viktoria 😘
Sorry to hear it's been rough :/ Try not to be so hard on. yourself though...sometimes when we struggle with mental health it's hard to do stuff like clean. Same as if someone is struggling with a physical health flare. Sending good thoughts your way from Texas
Thank you! It's just hard to remind myself of that sometimes. 💚
Hi Kimberly, thanks for sharing your journey. I have been trying to recover from schizophrenia and I recognize now what my symptoms are, so that helps.very similar to what you go through. I read a study that said black tea tannins and cola can lessen the effect of antipsych meds. I gave up my favorite, Earl Grey. I've been studying somatics and trauma. Trauma from psychosis is real. That's where I try to focus for healing. Some days are good, some not so much. I recently moved and looking for new job. It's stressful in some ways. I suffer from paranoia and right now I'm living in an apt without curtains on the huge sliding glass doors. It's causing my symptoms to flare up. I used to smoke cigarettes off and on, too. It took me years to get over it. Also be aware how female body chemistry changes during menopause. That really impacted my well being. Especially post. I suffer from loneliness and isolation now, a lot. May your days ahead find you feeling better! ❤ The tides of this illness are very challenging. I'm happy to meet you and your courage to share. Thank you so much! We are not alone. 😊 Blessings for a good day!
Thank you! Have a great day! 🥰💚
Hi Kimberly !!
Remember nothing last forever even good things so this episode Will pass too
Fresh fruits help me to improve my mood and go for a walk in a quiet and beautiful natural place ,maybe listening music at the same time.
the tireness yoy feel is caused much for the treatment you are taking..take it easy and don't worry and think too much about it and all pass faster
I wish you recover soon 🙂😘
Thank you! 💚
Hang in there Kimberly! You will get back to it ~ when you have had a time to rest and recover from this episode. Go easy on your dear self.
Thank you! 💚I will 🥰
Such a good way to explain things, I can relate to some of the things you talked about. Hope you can relax and stay healthy! ❤
Thank you and you too! 🥰
I've noticed that the transition periods from one season to another have an impact on my psychotic symptoms. My symptoms became worse when the weather started changing and when it was beginning to feel more like fall. Maybe it could play a part in why your symptoms kinda came back? Just an idea haha 😀 also, take it easy. your health is most important. Oh and i also feel like a good hearty soup is therapy in a bowl btw. 🤣 (Not me craving soup rn)
Definitely an interesting idea! 🤔 I wonder if it could at least have some small effect on your mind and body? Thank you for you comment! 💚
I'm glad you caught your symptoms early and I hope it makes a difference in resolving this episode. 💞
Thank you Holly! Im very grateful I did and im not going to let this get me down yet. 💚
You can make it. I believe in you. Send you love 🤍
@@arturkohut oh wow thank you so much! And thank you for the encouragement 💚
sometimes when i get paranoid i start to do things that would cause actual paranoia and then i stop caring lol. i dont really care anymore about feeling like im being followed or spied on, it's kind of like, if youre going to do it just do it and im going to try to not give a shit
a lot of my paranoia stems from guys ive dated following me. a lot of my stuff is with men
Thats sounds like it would be hard for me to do, but maybe I'll try! Thank you! 💚
I know what u are going through u hang in there on your journey schizophrenia can get rough ❤
Thank you! 💚
I’m sending you so much love and warmth for you to start to feel better Kimberly ❤❤❤
Thank you! 🥰💚
❤❤❤❤❤
💚🥰
Be good to yourself ❤❤❤
Thank you! 🥰❤️
Thanks
Thank you! 🥰
Part time sounds great for you. You’re doing so well with recognising the issues surrounding the mental illness ❤❤❤ definitely need more time doing happy things ❤❤❤
Thank you! 🥰❤
Ok Kimberley,
I haven't watched your video till the end yet (I'm gonna do so), but I have to tell you now something that I think would help you and something you may not know. This might be something specific, but it's just that I want to point out things that might work, new ways of thinking, alternative ways and in general a holistic, authentic approach on disorders for them to - hopefully - heal. (I have bipolar, type 2. I already call myself in remission. My family has a genetic disposition for schizophrenia as well...)
So, I know that I don't know in depth how things work in our bodies concerning the nutrients that we consume by eating food. But I feel that I know something through experience and bits and pieces of information that I absorbed all the way long.
So... I was vegan and I never should have done that, never should have gone on a vegan diet. Long story short: There are nutrients in meat that our body needs. And probably in some years all the national organizations dealing with nutrition will come to terms that many, if not all, so-called carni-nutrients are essential. Essential nutrients.
You may have heard of Lauren Kennedy West who was able to taper her medications to zero after around 8 or 9 months of the ketogenic diet for therapeutic means. I don't know much about the ketogenic diet. But what I know is that some nutrients found in meat are good for regenerating well from - stress. Basically a form of stress. Creatine is known for so long for helping athletes, just as well as beta-alanine, a precursor of carnosine. A lack of carnosine was linked to neurological and neurodegenrative illnesses, like depression, alzheimer and also schizophrenia. An increased intake of carnosine, a supplementation with it, in autistic people (I think it was children) was correlated with better speach. However our bodies are good at synthesizing carnosine through the supplemantation of beta-alanine (given that the second precursor histidine is available), that's why beta-alanine is so famous amongst athletes. I take a multi-nutrient supplement from Watson Nutrition, but I want to supplement beta-alanine as well. Just waiting for them to bring out their beta-alanine product cos they are the brand I trust (they will have the slow release type and as usual they will have their supplements checked for other substances by independent laboratories). For now I guess my body is filling its depots now that I eat meat again and I already feel so much better. (That's why I wrote, I am in remission).
Anyways.
I trully believe that a generel healthy lifestyle, through healthy eating, cooking and encorporating meat as well as a general open-minded and intuitive look on food, besides exercising according to one's fitness level and self improvement/personal developement are key to our overall health. (By self imrpovement I don't mean this Do-more-Get-more-things-done-Exercise-and-lose-weight-thing btw. I just mean "Persönlichkeitsentwicklung" as we call it in German.)
So basically,
what I'm trying to say is that we should be honest with ourselves and work on ourselves if we want to get better, and the things that are known to help will do actually help, but there might be few things that could help us on our journey and accelerate it, and that is food and the right choice of it - and in some cases supplementation.
I strongly beleive in that, and I am so grateful that I was able to find a good supplementation brand that one Austrian PhD student in nutrition works together with. Through his competent work of analysizing studies and meta-analysis and turning that now digestible infos into videos that everybody can watch while also seeing & feeling the depth behind it, I have been able to slowly heal from my deprived body & brain.
Now, in case you are wondering why I am even mentioning foreign brands to you:
1. As far as I remember they also ship to Sweden. 2. If you really consider taking supplements, then I hope you will do your research on what nutrients are needed, what nutrients are falsely considered not essential, and which nutrients are good in which dosage and bad in which dosage. (There's a quote from a Swiss doctor, from many hundred years ago, Paracelsus, and he said something like "All things are poison and nothing is without poison. Only the dosage makes something not be poison.")
So I hope I could bring across a few things that I wanted to bring across in order to reevaluate our habits and our long-term medication intake.
These are probably already lots of characters now and I don't wanna ecceed the characer limitation for comments, lol (already happened to me once), so I'll just stop here and say
bye and
lovely greetings from Berlin, Germany :)
I wish I could reach out and give you a big hug. You are enough, just as you are! 🥰💐
Thank you! 💚
I know it's hard. I've been through many many different jobs and it was hard for me to stay more than a year. Now in my life somethings are better and some are worse. I am recovering from a 4 year trip being homeless. I'm getting better and looking to return to work when I can.
Thank you and oh wow, I'm rooting for you too! I hope you recover well and soon! 🥰
Support from my heart❤
Thank you! ❤️
We just came through winter and I found it good to make pumpkin soup and damper
Pumpkin soup sounds so delicious right now! 🥰
I hope your school has some accomodations for you. I am autistic and adhd and accomodations at school makes my life and studying easier
I hope so too! 😊
Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I've started eating badly again too. In my case I eat chocolate bars instead of meals. I hope your art course is better able to accomodate you. In the UK we get disabled student support, things like mindmap software and audio notetaking software to help with coursework. I didn't get any accomodations on the performance side of my course even though my memory isn't as good as it once was. I was hoping they would let me read lyrics while performing.
Thank you and i'm also sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better soon too. We do have something similar here but i'm not really sure how it works but i'm hoping it will be brought up on the meeting with the headmaster.
Take care!💚
@@Kimberly_Viktoria I hope your meeting goes well, good luck.
@@originalvonster thank you 😊
Hey Kimberly, great video! Are you still doing alternate day fasting?
Thank you and no not anymore! 😊
@@Kimberly_Viktoria Hey Kimberly thanks for the reply! May I ask what made you quit doing it? Was it health concerns or maybe you couldn't sustain it?
@@zerochan3388 I wasn't able to sustain it without it leading to me eating more than I should in the evening. :/
Hi Kimberly! I hope you enjoy art school and that you feel better soon.
Do you make any money from TH-cam?
Hi! Thank you! Just a little but not every month. 🥰
I just started on a new medication. I will update if it’s been a success.
My therapist asked me why I drink. And I say that’s the only time my brain will let me go. Let go of all the ocd and sensory overload and such. All the thoughts. And I can’t sleep well. So she started me on something new. So far I like it. And I have never liked a medication. And I’m scared of weight gain. But I can’t remember the name right now. As I’m in bed. lol. And I’m lazy. But I will tell later. But idk if you’re like me and feel the need to numb it all. Maybe that’s not what you need we are all different in our skizo.
I really liked your comment that is why I drink, even If I shouldn't.
Please do update me on how it goes. Luckily I don't really drink but I do smoke cigarettes when I feel especially bad sadly... I hope you feel better soon too! ❤️🩹
@@MarthaAdamkiewicz I know the feeling well❤️🩹
@@Kimberly_Viktoria it's called quetiapin (stadaquel) 💗
@@Bamgeutcutiepie Ah, I have tried quetiapine too, made me fall asleep very easy. 😊
Håller tummarna att du klarar det!
Tack så mycket! 🥰
Awww Honey. Bummer week. You've had worse though I think.
Nicotine seems to work good with schizophrenia. You've probably heard that there's researchers who are trying to make a medicine out of it, but the problem is the part of the molecule that helps is also the addictive part, and separating it out makes it ineffective.
Colgate Wisps are single use throw away travel toothbrushes that have a little glob of toothpaste on them. I think you can use them with no water and no need to rinse. Might be good to have some handy for the times when you can't get off the couch. $15 for 24 of them. I saw them mentioned in the comments on a depression video.
One good thing that is a relief to see you doing is walking. We all need to exercise but when we're sick we don't want to. It's a good sign you are on your feet. Plus standing there painting in school for hours at a time would make anybody tired. So maybe it all makes sense in a way and you can find a way to work around the setback. It all finds a way to catch up with you. And not just you. School is hard. That's why not everyone can do it. There are certain pressures to it that can't be explained, only experienced. You are very special and very determined. Most healthy people wouldn't even think of doing what you are doing. The story isn't over yet, Bud.
Thank you, I'm not giving up yet. I just hope it doesn't worsen, thats what i'm afraid of. It feels like this was caught early so I have definitely been through worse. Thank you! 🥰
@@Kimberly_Viktoria Yeah I hope it doesn't get worse, too. I hear ya.
@@engleharddinglefester4285 I do feel better today, just tired still. 😊
Bravo for asking for help and keeping yourself safe. Maybe now it's time to cut yourself some slack. Even "normal" students screw everything up when they go off to school. Going to college is super stressful. Can you get some help with cleaning and cooking? That may take some stress off you. Remember, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. All is not lost. So far, you are doing an amazing job. Take good care of yourself 🙂
Thank you and thank you for the ideas, my mom can probably help me a little with the cleaning at least but its hard to ask for that kind of help.. Take care too! 💚
@@Kimberly_Viktoria I know from my own experience that is hard to ask for help. It's not fair that I have to ask for help, but I've found that people who care for me are happy to help. 🙂
@@VC_Home4Now Very true, sometimes asking for help is the hardest part. 😊
Thanks!
im schizoaffective... no one believes me... at first 😊
im on haldol and lithium 😊 it must be working... i also thought someone was in my apartment when i was sick
Thank you so much! 🥹💚
@@tianachidester1566 its very scary! 🥲
@@Kimberly_Viktoria they may have been but i have caught myself hallucinating so i just have to assume i am making it up
Don't get it in your head that you can't do anything right.
you are very impressive. I can't imagine having a serious mental illness and being in a bad episode AND studying.
Thank you, sadly I had to quit the studies due to schizophrenia... :(
♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎
❤
I feel much better because of Clozapine 🖤
@@CiaraColette i have never tried it, so scared of the side effects, and having to take blood tests so often 🥲
My psychiatrist put it this way “all antipsychotics cause weight gain”. I get a good night sleep and I wake in the morning well rested. I’m able to think more clearly and coherently so I’ve actually lost weight on clozapine!
I don’t mind the weekly blood test because I’ve been getting a monthly injection for a long time ☺️
@@CiaraColette Oh wow! thats amazing! 🥰
@@CiaraColette Oh okay, do they disrupt your week anything? Like if you have work or study? ❤🩹
also im rasputin of 21st century
oii come from the future
Kimberly - in our different struggles, I can relate so much. I have experienced minor psychosis in my bipolar mania and I struggle with paranoiad delusions (mostly feeling like everyone is hunting me or wants to capture me) too. I don't know what it feels like to be you - but you are not alone in the experiences you shared. For what it's worth. ❤️🫂 I also share your pain in how exhausting and frustrating episodes are.
My psychiatrist has told me the same thing about stress and psychotic symptoms! She said that meds can help reduce symptoms but the best "cure" for psychotic symptoms is to get rid of the stress. Easier said than done. 🙈💞🫂
Thank you! And thank you for sharing this with me. I hope you have a great rest of your week. 💚🤗
As someone with schizoaffective disorder I find your videos very relatable and helpful in knowing that I am not alone. Please know that things will change and that they can get better.
But about cigarettes - something that i wish I had realized sooner was that the chemicals in cigarettes (not the nicotine interestingly enough, but the other stuff) affect how your body metabolizes some antipsychotics and can dramatically lower their effectiveness. Not what you wanted to hear, I'm sure - but worth looking into and understanding when trying to recover from psychosis. This is a fact, you can look it up and something my psychiatrist has explained to me. If you have nicotine withdrawal, nicotine gum or even vaping do not have this same effect.
Please take care and be well ❤️🩹
Oh wow thank you and thank you of sharing this with me! I did not know that! 🥲💚