Ben Shapiro: Why You Should Get Married Young
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ต.ค. 2022
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You have to make the decision to get married before you find the right person.
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Instead of waiting to find the perfect person to marry, one should aim to be the type of person someone else would WANT to marry.
Very true
Some of the best advice I heard is for you to write down the list of things you'd want from your future partner and then be that person.
Facts...
dude who cares i think this guy is forgetting the "facts dont care about your feelings" yeah first you need to see how you can provide for your wife, and for the family you plan on having, also start making plans on how you want your kids raised, think of all that before letting the feelings get in the way
The thing is, that is something that YOU wanna to do. That is not something the society does these days.
Honestly I find it harder to find a good person and get married for my generation since social media has screwed up dating so much that people keep cheating on each other and relationships don’t last very long
Use it to your benefit though. My husband and I met online on catholicmatch. I think it was great because you can weed out people that are not serious. My husbands first message to me was that he’s seeking a wife, thinks I’m gorgeous and wants to get to know me better to see if we’re compatible. Most people I know met online too and are very happy
@@alqoshgirl Online dating is the worst for men. Have you not looked at any of the data on this? Men have to work 1000x hard than women do dating online. Your "advice" is meaningless. You were the hunted not the hunter.
@@cheeeeezewizzz so? That’s how it supposed to be. Man up and take rejection. You’re acting like I married myself. I married a man that put himself out there, had never been in a relationship and took a chance by messaging me. What is doom and gloom going to do for you? Try it! Maybe you’ll be surprised. You certainly won’t get married whining about it in your room behind a keyboard
@@cheeeeezewizzz Being a Doomer won't do any good for you. Sure Men have to do 1000x the work, but that's irrelevant. What is relevant, is that most boys are just pathetic nowadays. So if you just know how to talk to a woman, don't complain, and have a basic plan for your life and are following it, you'll do just fine. And if you are the least bit charismatic (which is simply learned), have a job/career with potential that you're going after, and have some standing within your community, then you're heads and shoulders above 90% of your competition.
@@alqoshgirl the very least I expect from a woman who tells us to "man up" is celibacy until marriage.....
I dodged a few bullets by not getting married. Knowing what abuse is and knowing what healthy looks like was the best thing for me. I’m just waiting on the right woman now.
Yes, you dodged a few bullets. But you are still at risk by waiting for a woman. Never get married.
Sure! But you also shouldn't be having sex then just to be frank.
I think therapy is a huge necessity to guarantee as much success as possible before marriage. It used to be required in some states. It was in the one I was in but my husband pushed it as he felt rushed because we did it under precarious circumstances.
He had mental problems that caused his abusive behavior. He had BPD but we didn't know. I was also undiagnosed for ASD, so that would've helped us recognize why we had communication difficulties when it came to my tone issues and similar.
I truly believe if we had both been diagnosed before marriagez even right before, or during (before divorce) we would've made it. We both really did want to commit, and still love one another but he refused to stick with a treatment plan and started a really promiscuous lifestyle.
I've now been remarried for a decade and it's not always been easy, in the beginning there was a lot of hate and even apathy. Ironically, the fact that we both found Jesus when I had been considering leaving for my ex husband...and my current was willing to stand up like a real husband and say no..that we need to work it out. That's what saved it. Jesus and real commitment...which is what marriage is. It's not *about* being happy all the time.
It's about being able to be content most days and to make it through the major struggles together, to grow together, and to build up a life with another person.
People believe this myth of the perfect partner, and unfortunately I think most divorce now is unecessary...some people need to make it through the haze of that b.s. to see they DID pick the right partner, a good partner, they just are hit with reality that that person isn't perfect just like they aren't. It's lazy and childish to leave in most cases.
I
@@ari3lz3pp I don't have sex anymore, but I do have porn. Porn is better because I don't have to risk a partner.
@@Bothsidesmakenosense lol this lowlife cannot take a different perspective when it comes to people seeing marriage flaw.
Stop looking, unicorns don't exist
Not to play Devils Advocate here, but not all of us have had the convenience or privilege of meeting the right person or being in the right post to be married. Finding the right person is hard enough as it is. Can someone out there tell the rest of us how to navigate this mine field? Cause I’d love to hear it.
Trying to surround yourself with like-minded people and not giving in to the convenience of hookup culture and the friend groups that come with it (meaning easy access to meet a lot of people can be counter-productive). When you date with the intention of marriage, you can quickly weed out those that don‘t intend on marriage.
Plus, when you do find someone you want to date and feel a connection with, don‘t shy away from hard conversations. Know what your values are and stand firm within. Don‘t compromise on your moral compass.
@@zx1906 Those are all good things certainly, but that itself does not cut it. I have spent the last 15 years of my life looking for a potential wife candidate. And I have yet to find even one woman worth marrying. A woman can be conservative in her values, Christian, kind, beautiful, and a good cook, and yet STILL not be worth marrying. Because while those things are all important, they are not by themselves "enough". That's what makes finding the right person so difficult.
Trust in God. Pray! Put yourself out there. Don’t let rejection lead you into a mindset of doom and gloom. Keep working on yourself to be a worthy person for your future spouse.
@@kingofbudokai Im all for having high standards. But if someone is ticking all the boxes and you still find them not ‘good enough’, that’s a you problem. Love isn’t mere feelings, it’s actually working for it and putting the effort to love and dedicate yourself to that person. I honestly didn’t feel a spark immediately with my husband. But he absolutely ticked all the boxes. I decided to continue despite my feelings because I knew feelings are deceiving. Thank God I did. 7 years of marriage and 4 kids. He’s my everything, my best friend and I am just loving him more and more as time goes by.
@@alqoshgirlpeople are repulsed by compromises and integrating lifestyles to come up with something that works for each individual and together as a couple. That takes a lot of mental and intimate work when communicating with each other because it's not instant.
I'm a 23 years old and I've been married for 3 years and have a baby on the way. Everyone my age seems to try to find meaning in partying, drinking, drugs, and sex; like everyone got stuck being 16 years old
Lol what a way to waste your youth😂😂
Right
@UC9UUawbNBIPNlgMgUo6ti1g excuses
Save some money for alimony and child support
Good for you. Grow your life with another person instead of wasting it away alone. Don't let anybody tell you different!
Getting married was by far, the biggest mistake I made. Never again.
That's because you weren't mature 😂😂😂
@@graceclark3481 oh you know all that about him from one youtube comment? wow women sure are clever, i wonder how they always end up with abusive guys hmmm
I'm not against marriage at all, I'd very much like to be married myself someday. But modern marriages are giant minefields for men. No-fault divorce means a woman can leave you, take half your money, and get sole custody of your kids just because she's "unhappy." No fault on either party required. The laws need to change so it's much harder to get divorced. One of the reasons marriage isn't taken seriously anymore is because everyone knows there's an easy out 24/7. Boomers started the trend by handing out divorces like candy. No stigma anymore.
Not for me. I only believe in divorce if there's adultery or abuse. Barring that, I'm stuck for life no matter what because those are the vows you take. And any woman of mine had better be in the exact same page or I will not put a ring on her finger. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, not some fairy tale ending to your problems.
Bad idea. You’re doing exactly what the forces of evil in the world today want you to do: not reproduce.
It’s really simple, if you think that you’ll get screwed out of the marriage deal, then buck off legal conventions. Make a prenuptial agreement with your partner before marriage that except in legitimate cases, such as with adultery or domestic abuse, whoever initiates a divorce forfeits all rights to taking care of the children and all rights to all the money owned by both parties.
It’s seriously that simple. And if a woman isn’t willing to go that far with you, then she clear isn’t the right one to begin with.
This.
And Ben doesn't address that issue. It is one that generally speaking, only men face.
Ben got lucky and married a good woman. If he had mistakenly married an evil women, she could very easily take him to the cleaners right now via the family law courts.
What confuses me is that the laws have been the same for decades and it's only recently that there's been increased discussion about those laws which in my opinions aren't go to change, I mean it's not like people should wait for the politicians to change laws and help people get married it sound ridiculous, I mean come on waiting for the government to help people get married??? the government is already far too powerful and to deeply involved with how the economy is running which by the way they've made more dysfunctional and now people want to fix people's personal lives??? doesn't make sense.
It's easier to do when making marriage a requirement for any kind of sex to take place.
I’m 40 and single. I was married to a man who became an addict, unfaithful, and physically abusive. I thank God for removing me from that situation, but until He says otherwise, I intend to spend my life working on myself and seeking God. If He has someone for me, that would be wonderful too. I suffered for someone else’s choice to sin and continue sinning, but I know that I did right by seeking God’s will throughout the years I was living in that chaos.
At the age of 40? I suggest you just get some cats.
@@Greywolf-91 lol, you must either be a child or ugly to think that 🤣 Do yourself a favor and look up some statistics on marriage over 40. 😬 oof, I’m embarrassed for you now.
@@blissfulmomentsfarm3730- I did, and frankly no man in his right mind would marry a 40 year old woman. It would be pointless.
@@Greywolf-91 hahaha, Oy. You must live a sad, rejected, and lonely life. Very brave of you to put it all out there in public though. I would say I hope your outlook on life improves, but it seems that you are stuck.
you are really bad at choosing a man.
Married before 25. Good luck.
You’re going to need it.
Divorce lawyers are making a killing during these times.
Very high divorce rates and climbing
I delayed marriage and always regretted it, but late in life I found the most amazing person and we both got married for the 1st time and have a beautiful son!
I fret sometime about waiting, but then I think that if I had married young, I would have married the wrong person and may never have been with the person I am with now...
How late? I'm 35 and Celibate. Am I stuck being Celibate the rest of my life now?!?!
@@adamzygote2126- Nahh, you can still bang chicks, and I’m sure that some ratchet single mom will marry you and shit out a kid or two before she divorces you, takes half your shit, and hits you with child support for the kids she had with you, plus her little bastards that she convinced you to adopt.
@@stormz.9579 that is what I did. I married young and because I was immature I married the wrong person.
Couldn't divorce because I am indian and its not acepted. I ended up being able to divorce thou after a very bad time.
I wish I had wait more so I could be more developed and wise inside, to actually have a healthy relationship.
Didn't wanna be single at 21.
I thought being single was a terrible thing specially after 30.
Now I am 33, divorced.
Sometimes when you rush into things out of fear, that somehow magnetize the exact same things you were fearfull of.
I am a man so I can still get married again. However its not very acepted here to get married if you have been already married and have kids.
@@adamzygote2126 not at all. This guy is simply trying to have a point about the beauty of marriage and family which is being lost in the West.
So he is pushing back against a superficial culture.
That doesnt mean plenty of people doesnt get married and are happy after 35 or even after 40.
Sometimes even way happier than people who married younger.
Read my other comment. I married very young. Didnt go well.
Divorce rates all over the world are higher for people who marry so young.
I got married at 20 to a guy I had know since I was 9. Him and I literally grew up together, watched each other change into the people we are today. We started dating at 15, agreed we wanted to get married one day and worked towards that goal. Every single person outside my family things I'm an idiot and should've waited until I was 30+. But why? We both knew what we wanted and we still choose to love each other and work towards being better for each other. What I have is rare, yes. But if you keep waiting for the perfect partner, you'll never find them. Find someone with similar values and work on making each other better.
Because peoples values change. And sometimes they cannot reconcile. Often before the age of 18, you just follow along with what your family believes. But when you leave home or go to college, a lot of people realize they don’t have the same values. They’re a “different” person they say. I know someone who met at 12, they appeared to have a happy marriage with one child later on, and then out of nowhere her husband left her for another woman at age 25. She didn’t even see it coming. She thought she had a happy marriage. It’s pretty clear, that the people who met young and stayed together were just lucky in choosing the right person. If it were not luck, then I’d expect to see more successful young marriages. But that isn’t the case.
There’s no such thing as perfect person
100 percent.agrree! Young people are never going to be unhappy relationships because they have been brainwashed into thinking that their partner is always supposed to make them happy the rest of their lives. That is a fairy tale and it is not the main point of marriage.
Life isn't perfect, you are never going to find someone who is going to be there for you all the time. You have to be there for each other, be the bigger person when the other one is down!
Sometimes you have to be the adult when the other person acts like a child.
Marriage is a serious, lifelong commitment that is not based solely on the fleeting emotion of love.
@jeli142, You're right ma'am, people's values can change. But you can't make a generalization of everyone that way. Some people have good families who taught them right values, and they never change.
You need to stop assuming that everyone makes a mistake by marrying someone they knew as a kid. I am the same person I was 15 years ago. Same values, same personality. It really depends on your situation, and what family you had.
In most cases, I find that if people wait longer to get married they find excuses to break up. Because they get tired of waiting!
But most of us don't have that. So I think the goal is unrealistic. I am 24 and I don't know any eligible women. So the whole "growing up" part of my life is already over. I've graduated now. The hardship is past in that sense.
I agree with Ben on the importance of marriage, but Ben never talks about the ugliness of divorce, how men are destroyed by it, and/or ways to reform it. People need incentives to do this, but I see no benefit for a man to get married until men get a fair shake. I don't think I've ever heard Ben ever broach this which is quite telling. I think he knows there isn't a good answer so he avoids talking about it all whilst advocating for an institution that hurts so many men.
Because you failing at your marriage is a you problem. I’m not sure what you want Ben to talk about? Choose a woman with strong morals and values and understanding of what a marriage entails and that you don’t divorce. Be a good husband and father and your chances of divorce is low. Most divorces are by degenerate people with low morals and values
Well, the second half of the problem is for you to share the same values as your spouse. You need to marry a spouse who is reluctant to divorce. Or look for a spouse that works out problems and is not a complete jerk when they're angry. Generally, the people who turn into monsters in a divorce show signs of being an angry person in the relationship beforehand.
The answer to the divorce problem is for people to get back to the marriages of the 1950s, where divorce was a last resort. Not the first choice to resolving a conflict!
And be a part of that change by marrying a person of faith! Faith in God is the key, dude. Because unless you have a deep faith, people in general are very selfish. That is the only way to avoid the terrible situation of divorce
Faith is probably the reason why Ben Shapiro doesn't mention divorce, he is jewish. Judaism really frowns on divorce, and unless you are a person of a deep faith you are more likely to choose divorce to get out of a marriage. Instead of working hard to save the marriage in resolve conflict.
Ben Shapiro probably sees that a lot of young people don't have faith in god, so how on Earth do you approach divorce when you don't have a belief in God? People by nature are selfish.
@@graceclark3481 An even easier way to solve this is to get the state out of the marriage business, and end women getting free gifts and prizes after the dissolution of a marital union. That would nip things in the bud rather quickly, but that will never be done, and people like Ben will never advocate something this sensible.
I am 38 years old no wife, no kids, no pets, no responsibility. You don't have to follow the social norms just to try to fit in. Just do what makes you happy.
I agree. I'll be 39 soon and have zero complaints. Get married if you want folks, but don't rush. If you get divorced before your 30 and are on wife number 2 at 35 that's not fun either.
Here's the thing, when you're old and sickly, you might want someone to take care of you, buddy. A husband or a wife is good for that. Being alone when you're old loses it's charm. Unless you plan on being fabulously wealthy, which most people are not. When they're single they tend to spend all their money.
Save some of that money for when you get old and sickly if you're planning on staying single.
Also, married people live longer. It's a fact.
I’m 49. No wife, no kids. No stress.😎🕺
How dare you not have pets in your life! Dogs and cats make awesome companion animals. Dogs are more loyal to you than having a partner or spouse that cheats on you and is toxic.
I believe you should get married when you are mature enough to know what it means and entails, and when you find the one person you want to live the rest of your life. Age enters into it very little.
Write me ✍️📥☝️
Agreed other than that age enters into the marriage equation very little. Maturity is much more common with age. Modern culture also promotes extended adolescence which isn't good.
This is the correct answer. Ben is wrong.
@@zachdproductions123Ben isn't wrong. Some people are mature at a young age. And getting married and growing with your spouse is actually a very good thing. You share experiences together. That is if you truly love each other.
So sorry, you're the one that's wrong
@@graceclark3481 Yeah, if you actually are in a position to be married, but not everyone is.
I plan to get married young but not too young. Also it’s hard to trust anyone from my generation cuz loyalty has long been thrown out. No one is willing to tough it out and just leave
Find it in your church. And base the relationship off the church
'plan to get married' ha, so did i; 15 years ago. now i'm single at 27, find the person you want to marry and do it. dragging your feet like i did will result in a failed 10 year relationship
It's really sad. I'm sorry you deal with that. My husband and I were born in the 80s and most of our friends are non-committal but they are very unhappy. Many too afraid to "make the jump" yet they've risked their livelihood many times by sleeping with people.
Try to abstain as much as is "possible" for you. I used to be obsessed with the idea that you need sex first.....but no. My husband and I both think it wasn't worth it. We had amazing experiences with other people, but the lack of real commitment (marriage) made it not worth the risks.
He and I only got married due to having a child we were both told we couldn't have (medically). Took hard work the first years, and once we found Jesus together honestly it's been great most the time, for a decade married now, just about 11.5 years together.
I think your best bet is someone of similar faith to you, or perhaps if you figure out your own faith if you haven't, and get therapy if you need it. Hopefully you'll find someone who's done the same.
People also need to remember marriage isn't about some fairytale of people being perfect for one another. That doesn't exist. Everyone has issues, it's how you work through them together, how you communicate, and how you each problem solve.
I know it's hard out there now for sure. ♥️ Take care
@@ari3lz3pp i was born in '95, got with my highschool sweetheart in 2011, did everything 'right' (abstained 100%, both graduated then got full time jobs) proposed to her in 2013, things went downhill slowly after that, but after 9 years we realized we hadn't communicated something super important; children. I 100% want to have a child of my own. and she 100% absolutely would not be giving birth. an irreconcilable difference, so after 10 years i had to break it off.
Thanks to online dating and dating apps in particular people have been made disposable. Don't like who you currently have? Go swipe for a better one!
Some people want very much to get married while they are young but they are not able to find a suitable mate. It's not that they are being picky or looking for the perfect mate. In many cases, it just so happens that they have limited options. Especially when one is looking for a mate who shares the same beliefs, morals and values sincerely and genuinely. Also, in many circumstances, there are more single women than men or vice versa.
but mah diversity!!! 🙄
No, they are picky. Dating websites are loaded with overexpectations it's hilarious
People just aren't going out and striking up conversations with people to start with.
Thank you
If you’re two likeminded ppl that have known each other for a while then yeah marrying young is good. But a blank statement saying you should get married you is ridiculous. Most ppl don’t even know who they are or what they want in their early to mid 20s. 50% of the ppl I know from high school that got married young are divorced. I think Ben is contributing to the pressure that a lot of ppl feel when they’re in the 30s and not married. Ppl should wait on the right one and not just someone.
@@rayminishi689 Being a young guy (21) I want someone that shares similar morals and beliefs is it picky maybe but there's not many people my age that want this anymore and it's disappointing to see. I don't want to just fuck around that's not me, I actually want to genuinely meet someone and settle down, that's just hard to find nowadays.
I’m 28 and have wanted to get married for years. I envisioned I’d be married with 3 kids by now but I can’t seem to find a good man even to date. He doesn’t need to be perfect. But dating in this day and age is so difficult for so many reasons, including the ones Ben talked about here. I didn’t want to wait this long. But for now, I know he’s out there, somewhere. I hope. And I just keep working on my own self. The desire to be married is what hurts right now, I’m not lonely.
I’m in the same boat. I’ve tried and keep trying every day to work on myself. Since high school I’ve set my mind to godly things, and I’ve concentrated on my academics and I even got a college degree, all while always being open to going on dates, kind behavior, being agreeable and willing to fall in love. But nothing sticks. You know, you get left behind for whatever reason. You find these ‘godly’ men who enjoy your friendship and act like they find value in your humor and your beauty, but then they find someone more feminine and softer than you, I suppose. Of course that’s sweet for them but you’re left reeling. And now I’m 29 and still, you know, “working on myself,” looking to God, being brave, putting myself out there. I don’t want to give up but time, ya know? Time is precious.
When I was younger than 25, the idea of getting married was just so alien to me, my brain just could not compute it. It’s just something I never even thought of, to me it was something you do when you’re older. Every single authority figure (teacher, counselor, parent and even pastor) drilled in dating / relationships were a distraction, focus on schoolwork and getting your career started. Even now when I hear about something getting married young it doesn’t compute for me.
Hmmm, I feel the same
I have always heard stay single fir as long as possible. Then you have people who tell you to get married young. It's really confusing. I have had married people tell me point blank to stay single. It's crazy man
@@Davey97 Each person is different. Marriage is useful and fulfilling for some people, but for others it is not. Assuming you have children, it is the most expensive endeavor a regular person will ever have to sacrifice themselves for. It's an endless cycle, we are born, we procreate, and then spend the rest of our limited life-span on our children, and by the time they leave we are alone once more, and eventually we die. For some, this is an affordable journey, but most people nowadays are realizing how paradoxical it is to continue this endless cycle of birth and death.
Genuinely I always thinks it's up to people themselves it's annoying seeing society tells us we should get married then we shouldn't personally I would like to get married I do hope to find someone but I understand some people who don't it is a commitment you make with another person. Most people like to stay commited to themselves and that's an ok think loving yourself over loving someone
Don't get married
Don't you think most people would if they could? Dating is a hellscape.
When it comes to dating, women get quantity over quality; men get neither.
Omg thank you for saying that.
It's easy for people like Ben and his friends a DW which I respect by the way to lecture people about getting married because their all rich and swimming in dough they can afford it no problem in fact it's easy for them to have more Conservatives lives in regards to family when their rich but for a large percentage people in America that's not possible their simply too poor to be lead more Conservative - traditional type of lives centered around marriage and family, also the culture more broadly has succeeded in training people into believing that marriage, child rearing and family in general is a bad thing and shouldn't be prioritized as a result going into the future the vast majority of people will never marry and have kids but apparently some Conservatives haven't accepted that they've lost that cultural battle.
@@fraserfir19 that’s so not true! They all were poor and struggling when they got married. If anything they became better humans and more successful because they were married. My husband and I have a similar story as young millennials. We had nothing when we got married, and we build quite a life together in just 7 years. It’s amazing what you can do together
@@alqoshgirl The average millennial woman is getting married in their 30s. Not 20s. They aren't building anything, they are looking for someone to take care of them and their spawn
It's situational. If i married young, when i was a blithering imbecile, I would have damaged my marriage beyond repair and now would be divorced. I married as a more mature adult and now have the foresight to make my marriage work healthily.
My husband and I married young and have been together for 38 years!
We have 2 wonderful sons and I am SO grateful for my family that God gave me!!!❣️
Blessings and Peace to You and Those You Love 💕
, I'm 27 and to most people what I may say might shock some, but I don't care, I've been married to my sister for 3 years now and it's just the most beautiful soul changing thing we've done the only downside is we can't have biological kids but our love and connection that we have is what's important, young marriage is key folks. ❤️
Shut up! All of you old farts just SHUT THE HELL UP! You obviously do not comprehend how toxic the environment has become for marriage. You obtained your habits before your generation destroyed your Children’s future, and here you are preaching like arrogant, clueless morons. Next you’ll be condescendingly explaining to the youngins how to code on java script.
You people make me sick!
@@titanproductions3628- Holy shit! Talk about F’ed up. 🤮
@@Greywolf-91 Yeah you should look in the mirror.
Are you actually happy? My sister has been married 20 something years and I think she is unhappy!!! She did not get to live being single and knowing yourself and traveling!!
The counterargument for men in particular is:
1. The divorce rate of around 50% with women filing nearly 80% of them, often getting rewarded financially as a result
2. Women not providing what men want in the vast majority of cases. Reasonable requirements their grandmothers and great grandmothers met. Fit, feminine, cooperative, not a leftist feminist lunatic, no high body count, not buried in horrible college debt, 20’s (fertility), no kids from previous relationships. Maybe 2-3% of all women meet these basic standards, the math doesn’t work out.
True...
I mean the high/low body count thing is basically virgin or not right? Because anyone can claim whatever body count they want.
I got married at 19 and my husband was 20 he was in the military and we have been together since I was 16 we have had four kids and will be 25years in January it really is beautiful to say that his is the only "man" in my life ❤️
Hubby and I were (still are) both military when we married at 20 and 23. Unfortunately we could only have 2 kids due to childcare needs but now that I'm nearing retirement, we have one and are planning for one more pregnancy.
It's great when it works out.
ugh
A real life dependa
“You had me at tricare” 🥰
Just beautiful 🙂
Wishing you many more happy years x
Y’all are the exception to the rule. Most of those types of relationships don’t work out
I agree marrying young can work, but it does not always work.
Some people's mental age is about 10 years behind their chronological age. For those people, it is almost certain that getting married in their early to mid 30s will produce a better outcome for the family they will create together.
💯 Most people don’t even know who they are let alone what the want/need in a partner. I married at 36. Established, financially secure and responsible. I was none of those things in my 20s
with 18 you are different than 25 and with 30 you are different again. Young marriage that works out is rare.
@@nataliefeelme4416 That's why I said it can work, but it doesn't always work.
Tldr. Ben got lucky with his wife. He married a moral woman instead of an immoral woman.
That's just marriage in general though. Sure, age can be a factor, but it doesn't make this point super valid. Lots of things can be contributing factors to a failed relationship. The reality is that it simply doesn't work for some people. It requires both parties to be dedicated to the same cause. Once that happens, and as long as it stays that way, it doesn't matter if you got married at 17 or at 37.
@@FinalLugiaGuardian But that’s the point. People should be moral. The problem wasn’t the early age of marriage, the problem was the immorality.
This is all well and good for people that can actually find someone...young or otherwise. Some of us can't. Love is one of the things that ISN'T guaranteed in life. Not everyone is blessed to find it.
EXACTLY MY THOUGHTS
Well in the meantime, concentrate on being someone that a healthy young woman will love to marry! A lot of times you can attract the right people if you become the person that good people want to be around. It's not about finding love, sometimes love will find you if you are a solid, dependable person
@@graceclark3481 I realize that this is well-meaning advice , but I am no longer young. I tried for 20 years to find someone. However, I am physically handicapped. So your advice, however well meaning, is just empty when it comes to me, since long experience has taught me that women like to be friends, but draw a firm line against relationships. So, like I said in my original comment, some people cannot find love. It's not guaranteed in life. It simply isn't, No matter what you do and no matter who you become. Those that do find love should realize how blessed and lucky they are. Because it's simply not meant for other people. Merry Christmas, and if you are married and have a family, reflect on how lucky you are this holiday season.
@@caomhan84 I don't think you should ever limit God.
I have seen people who are physically handicapped find somebody. I don't think anyone was ever meant to be alone.
Because God said it is not good for man to be alone.
Look all I'm saying is, when you limit God by saying that some people are meant to be alone, then you're definitely going to be alone.
I was searching for a long time for somebody, but I didn't lose faith. And guess what? I finally found someone.
Do you even have faith in God? You don't sound like you do.
@@caomhan84since you speak of your long experience, let me tell you I have some experience myself with dating and men. If you want to make a generalization of women, then let me make a generalization of men. Most young men are dumb animals that only want sex.
But, see I haven't allowed it to make me jaded. Or disappointed. Or bitter.
And you know what? I got rewarded by God because I didn't lose faith that God could pull it off.
There is a God out there that created the entire universe out of Nothing. Finding someone out of the Sea of humanity for someone who deserves it, is a piece of cake to Him!
That's why you need faith, Buddy.
Merry Christmas to you and I hope you can lose that sense of bitterness that I think you're carrying
Getting married young also makes me appreciate my husband's triumphs more. I have seen him overcome many obstacles that, had I married him now, I may have taken for granted.
I’d like to get married eventually, but this generation ain’t built for it
Exactly.
Everyone I knew who married young are now divorced. I married at 45 and we just celebrated our 19th anniversary.
Yeah divorce rates for young people are the worst out of any age group actually. Countries with average marriage of 35 have lower divorce rates (Ireland, etc).
I am 35 and I’ve found that if I had gotten married younger, I would not be as financially successful as I am now. All of the women I dated or was in love with are now struggling just to get by and are in tremendous debt after marriage and kids.
Most actually become financially stable when they marry. My husband tells me all the time. He probably wouldn’t be in the position he is in if it wasn’t for me and our kids. It’s amazing what motivates a man that has a purpose and drive to provide for his loved ones. My husband doubled his salary in our short 7 years marriage. We had 4 kids in that time and all on 1 salary. He’s looking at getting a raise again in the next half year. God provides and there is an out of this world joy knowing we build this life together
@@alqoshgirl Bottom line if I get married I can’t travel that’s where my money is.
@@alqoshgirl But it’s not BECAUSE of the wife 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ Get out of here.
@@the1prodig432 why are you so miserable? 🤣 does it feel good being alone?
@Matthew Goodwin I’ve basically been alone for years I can go a few dozen more
I'm 35 and still not married. I want to be. I wanted to get married in my 20s. It just hasn't happened yet.
I don’t think getting married young is a good mindset. I would say wait for the right person.
To be honest I dont think I'll ever be married. Not because I dont want to. But because idk if I'll ever be ready. I'm 17 years old and I dont have a girlfriend or anything. Atleast I got God though
Girlfriend/boyfriend relationships in high school just prepare young people for later divorce. Save your money, spend your time developing your mind and character, set your life goals and concentrate on becoming an adult. When the time comes to marry, go courting.
God isn't real. That's your first problem. Delusions.
@@LoganArmbrust1 I'm 21 never even had a girlfriend before. Getting married and having kids just don't seem like a good life to me.
Love with your whole heart, listen with understanding ears, once something is said it can't be unsaid. Weigh your words heavily before they spill out of your mouth, and never go to bed angry with your partner.
I’m 35 single female, never married, never had children and desire those things. It’s definitely not a choice to still be single 😢
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We were 18, just out of high school and our first child was born when I was 19 and he 20. We just celebrated our 45th wedding anniversary. Ben is right - you grow up together. My husband is my best friend. It hasn't always been easy but I am so glad that, by the grace of God, we hung in there. And I am still young enough to get on the floor and play with the grandkids.
Congrats on your wedding anniversary ❤️ love is so beautiful.
That was back in ye’ olden times. Things don’t work like they did back then. The system is irrevocably broken. Thanks Boomers you piles of irredeemable excrement.
@@trembling3674 You can do it!
Just do it!!! Seriously everything can be worked out in marriage. You commit to stay together no matter what. Put God first, that you are committed to what God calls of you in marriage and your responsibility to stay rather than only for that person. That makes you work on you and not focus on them which makes for a healthy union. Your partner will always disappoint you but you give the same grace and forgiveness God gave us and keep being the man God called you to be as a husband and you can’t fail. Do it! I married at 20 and quickly had 2 kids after and married 19 years now. When I tried to leave my husband said no you will stay and we will work this out no matter what, walking out the door is the first step to divorce. So tell me what it takes and we will do it. So glad he stepped up as a man and stayed true to his vows and we couldn’t be happier
When folks say "It hasnt always been easy" I always wonder if that ranges from simple boredom to another person having to forgive cheating of the other to stay together
"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." - Proverbs 21:9
Note that it specifies "quarrelsome wife" and not simply "wife". He is referring to a very specific TYPE of woman, not women in general. Solomon was not advocating for singleness, but for careful choosing of one's spouse. Proverbs 31 is all about how great it is to find a good woman.
Married at 21, I can say from experience that 2 kids and 17 years later I’m not only happy, but grateful. My parents instilled morals that both myself and husband cherish. We definitely grew up together and are stronger for it.
thanks for watching.
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Got married at 17 years old. Husband was 23! Still married with four kids and going strong! Best desicion in my life.
Did you need parental consent?
Any updates on your relationship? That's quite the age gap but if both are mature it's not impossible I guess
I absolutely agree. My wife was 20, I was 21 when we got married. That was over 20 years ago and I wouldn't trade it for anything. We're not the same people we were, but we are better for being married to each other.
yeesh. nah, you should have accomplished a bit more first. it's just not a good idea to jump the gun. sure, some last, but why not do something with life first? travel, write a book, perform in a band, write speeches for protests, *anything*. plus, those who married young are always lamenting that they didn't do more first. they feel bleak. some just convince themselves they're super happy with their choice, that they're superior. lol. oppsite day.
these silly kids think they are filling in their BINGO spaces. but most people don't see getting hitched young as successful. it's just playing house we see it as cringe. you know how liberals take all this pride in letting drag q u eens read to their kids and everyone else is like "dear god, no thx".. well it's kinda like that.
there's a reason successful and high class people tend to get married in their 30s.
Amen
I got married a month away from 21, was the best decision of my life. The way I was going was not the career driven route. My husband and I have learned how to run a household and manage our money. You don't need an education to make money and budget. You need a spouse to keep you accountable and have dreams and goals together. ✨️
My husband and I did alot , too much partying and drinking before we even got married, we know about that life and it's nothing to be missed.
Ben traded his foreskin for a silly hat, I wouldn’t take his opinions seriously.
@@legalfictionnaturalfact3969 Everyone I know who got married relatively young is happy about it, and everyone I know who followed your advice has a lot of regret. Good partners don't stay on the market. If you are in your 30s looking for a partner, you're just sifting through the leftovers.
The idea of this message is that if you find the right person, do NOT wait to tie the not or start living together. But you should never rush a relationship nor should you stress yourself out by finding someone to love. But I agree with Ben, growing up with someone as friends and eventually falling in love and spending the rest of your life together is beautiful
It is very beautiful. I agree with him..
It's also important to find someone who has your same values. Which I don't think Shapiro talks about as much. What makes a long-lasting marriage is not just love, but the same values. Making sure that you both have a deep commitment to each other no matter what.
Especially nowadays when a lot of young men and women have gotten caught up in the hookup culture, it's especially important to find someone with your same values. Even if you have to wait a little bit. I waited 31 years for the right one. I don't regret it a single day
People follow incentives, change the marriage laws
This is why men are struggling. There’s simply no incentive.
"I want to get married for the tax cuts" said no one.
@@TL-xv1fd People getting married for the tax cuts would be better than what we’re doing now.
@@TL-xv1fd who the hell would say that out loud
Complaints about laws that have been on the books for decades is basically an excuse I think if the laws were favorable people would still not get married because they don't care and don't want to make it a priority it's just that many haven't admitted that to themselves yet which is that they never wanted or valued marriage when they were younger in the first place because if they did they would have married when they were younger but chose not because they never made it a number 1 priority and didn't care, basically people should be more honest with themselves and make the necessary adjustments and plans for being single long term into old age because that's where their setting themselves up for, and I suspect there's going to be more apartment blocks built in the future and less traditional homes with yards etc.
I'm 33 and have never been married and am single. Didn't date much to be honest. I enjoy my peace and quiet. Everyone who's married around me seems unhappy. I enjoy the freedom, flexibility, and spontaneity that I can do with my life. I invest in friendships and community. I help my aging parents with stuff they need. Sadly, my mom has Alzheimer's and it's taken an emotional toll on me and my sisters. My parents don't have any money saved for retirement and own no home. They live in my condo as I live and work elsewhere. I'm grateful I can deal with aging parents as a single person instead of having a family of my own to worry about in addition to parents. My grandparents had dementia and it was very hard for my mom to deal with them, work, and raise 4 kids. Thank God I'm not in that position. Anyways, being single is great. These Daily Wire religious folks often forget that the Apostle Paul in the Bible encouraged singleness in the book of Romans.
Paul encouraged traveling ministers to be single while they were traveling ministers, that is the extent of what he said there, anyrhing else is extrapolation and contrary to the standing commandments of God.
"Be fruitful, Multiply and replenish the earth".
"For this purpose shall a man leave his father and mother and cling to his wive and they twain shall become one".
"Neither is the women without the man or the man without the women in the Lord"... you get the idea
@@geosoul6648 no. No. Just no
Paul did not say that singleness was only good for traveling ministers. Anyone who can be happy without the anxieties of marriage and family to devote themselves to God should enjoy that ability no matter what their profession.
I’m happy single, and I think God will do something with that. Now if I’m wrong and He puts a woman in my life, great. But I am not actively seeking it
@@TheJackOfAllTrades777 Not so much Gen X. My siblings are Gen X. It's more so the boomers that are on this marriage kick.
@@bkstandard882 So you don't even know what Boomers are since Ben Shapiro is NOWHERE NEAR 57-75 years old .
@@eddyskripko4595Eddie if you read the context of what Paul was saying, Paul was saying it was good to be single in that time.. the Christian church was under attack all the time by the Jews and Roman authority at the time. He even says in one scripture "because of the present crisis it is better to remain single."
Look, no one is forcing you to get married. But he is right that God did say it is better for man not to be alone. Solomon even said that two people are better than one because they hold each other up!
Not to say that you aren't a strong person, I'm sure you are. But I'm telling you, when you have a person in your life and you're depressed, there is nothing like that person encouraging you and cheering you up. Even if it's just a faithful friend.
So bottom line, Paul did say at the time that it was good to be single. He also said marriage has benefits.
And bottom line God was the one who said that it's not good for man to be alone.
.
there's more to life than getting married and having kids
Men should focus on career
True...you can choose to do "more to life" with or without a spouse and/or kids. It's more rewarding when starting younger.
But nothing as impactful on a personal level. Time flies by starting in your 30s it picks up the pace. Most women in their late 30s and early 40s have issues having healthy pregnancies, and trying to raise a young child in your 40s+...yikes.
Anyone I've known who has shyed away from marriage (even if "committed" long term) is unhappy most nights. They just are...they might have fun partying or being consumers of video games, cars, etc...but they always have a loneliness and general sadness.
They aren't growing and improving as much as their married friends, they don't have that person to count on and come home to. (Some even in the partnerships or living with a friend...it's clearly not the same). They aren't pushed to improve as a unit. They are emotionally stunted and not contributing to the progress of humanity.
It's NOT for everyone...no doubt.. nature has its way of weeding out certain people through time. But most people I've met that go through this, even compared to divorced people that had kids...most are hit with hard cold reality once they let it slide by and they are too old to do anything about it.
@@ari3lz3pp it’s a personal choice that I don’t think it’s a great world to bring kids into, I think it’s selfish and just perpetuates the cycle of misery, you’ve one life and I think it should be lived to the max
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i can't stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just can't, i love her so much, i don't know why i am bring this here for, i can't stop thinking about her.
it's always difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation my wife for 12 years left me, i couldn't just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back.
@@haynesatteh4463 her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE,and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster who can bring her back
@@jamesbennett3843 Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.
Get married when its right for you. It's your life. Get married, dont get married whatever. Live your life.
People who gush about how in love they are or thier marriage are just as insufferable as a rich kid who purposely rides thier new bike past the poor kid's house just to mash thier nose in it more. "See my cool new bike? My parents bought it for me, oh yeah yours are too broke to buy you anything. Sucks to be you."
Welcome to the neighborhood 😂
Better single than had a bad relationship.
I wouldn't say that you "should get married young", and maybe that's not exactly what Ben is saying. Rather, grow up now, develop good habits now, be a good man or woman now, not only when you're 30 or 40. That way you can take the opportunities that come to you, including for marriage, whenever they come, and won't have to regret or catch up on entire decades of your life in the long run.
I like to tell my friends that our late teens and early 20s, and college for that matter, are the time to "be a man." Thanks for the video, I'd love for there to be more emphasis on this.
Not sure about that. I’ve seen many people their 20s get married and divorced in no time. And I’ve seen many people in their 40s get married and be happier than ever, still. And vice versa. I’m no statistician but there’s been no pattern from what I’ve seen, at least over the past decade or so. Marriage is just complicated.
I got married young twice. Needless to say they were both mistakes. I found my soul mate at 30. I have never been happier. I was not mature enough and didn't base my marriage on God. If you base your marriage on God it cannot fail.
Marriage is a man-made concept. The "God" part of your marriage is just the psychology you use to justify it. If it serves you well, so be it.
Bros name I says it all
@@indykkowalski9366 Which one?
@Millennial Smark I agree with everything you just said. You literally described being a God in a temporary body.
@@demonicaxeman7264marriage is made by God. It's man who hates marriage..
You're full of s***!
guy talking like we live in Victorian times without relevance to our current culture.
Just because something works for one person doesn’t mean it’s going to work for all.
Ben talks a lot about marriage through the perspective of rose tinted glasses. True you can grow together with someone, but isn’t that also the same process as just a normal relationship? Me personally I would like to be grown into my own person first before I get married to another individual and me personally I don’t quite see that when I was younger. I couldn’t fathom getting married to the person I was with when I was 21. I was a drastically different person then and had I gotten married when I did, I would’ve hated where I set myself up to be. My goals drifted way beyond hers and for us to be put together by marriage at that point would just be draining on both ends if we didn’t divorce
This is bad advice. yeah get married without knowing what you’re committing your life to.
If I ever luck out and have kids I'm going to raise them to be the kind of people other people want to be with by the time they reach adulthood. No one really warned me how bleak the dating world is after 30, and how lonely it is going all the way though college and work by yourself. Life would be so much better if I was lucky enough to find someone to marry young, oh well. I hope teenagers see this video and make the right choice.
Nice fairy tale Ben, but not everyone meets the right person in their teens or twenties. It’s ridiculous to say that people deliberately ignore marriage and relationships until they are middle aged. A lot of people don’t find he right partner until later in life - or not at all - it’s not a choice, it’s just how things work out.
thanks for watching.
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So Ben is essentially telling men to throw themselves into the lions den and hope the wife doesnt take him to family court to take him for everything he has.
I am an older Millenial who got married at age 36. My wife and I just recently became first time parents at ages 37/38.
I think there is a lot of benefit to getting married younger, not least having the chance to grow together as a couple during such a formative stage of your life and to be parents of small children when you yourself have more energy.
That being said, as cliche as this sounds, I think it's imperative to meet the right person. Getting married to the "wrong" person at a young age, is all else considered, worse than getting married at a later age (e.g., 30s) to someone is a good fit in terms of values, goals, temperament, etc.
I want to wait until I’m at least 30 to get married and have kids, that way I can spend my twenties working so I’ll be able to afford a house
Hmmm there’s a beauty of doing it together. So what if the right person comes along? You’re just not gonna pursue them because you don’t have everything perfectly in order? My husband and I got married, had our first child and my husband couldn’t even get a mortgage. In just 7 years his salary doubled, we added 4 more kids, have a house and can send our oldest to catholic school. God provides. As long as you have ambition and a goal that’s what matters most. Like with my husband he was getting an engineering degree so we knew he would be financially getting ahead in the future
@@alqoshgirl what will a woman want with a guy who doesn’t have his own house?
Was married young at 24 and after 10 years and 3 kids it unfortunately didn't work out. However I can grow up still with my kids and I'm young enough to keep up with them. If I had the choice to do it all over again knowing the outcome and hardships I'd still do it. Totally worth it with 3 beautiful children.
What happened in the relationship
If you get married young then good for you. But I would never tell someone what they “should” do. Marriage is a personal choice. Don’t try to promote or impose your personal views and expect others to do the same
I wish society would think like you do
We were both 27, I had just returned from a year tour in Iraq. We started dating in February, got married in November. That was 17 years ago. Ben's right, you have to make the decision first to get married, then you'll know when you've found the right person. When you know, you know.
Most ppl here seem to think life is all about marriage. You know there’s more to life than that right? You don’t have to be married to be in love. Marriage is just a piece of paper. Love is from within and lasts much longer.
I got married at 19. Best thing I ever did! I'm 55 and retired now.
very different dating scene right now. many of us men who want to get married are having a hell of a time finding someone to marry.
cringe
My parents don’t even let me date and I’m 19 😭
@@Professionalbsdetector you do realize you’re an adult… right?
That was a different time though. That's a thing oldtimers, and I'm only 2 years younger then you so I'm one too, find hard to keep in mind. What worked when we were young doesn't work today. And I am single and I can say, the dating scene is horrible. And it's so much worse for young guys now. They're getting out earned and out educated by women across the board, and unlike men women do not date down. They do not want a man that earns less then them, has a lower education then them, is shorter then them and with most educated women being extremely left wing they probably don't want a conservative man either. Unless they are really desperate. But by that time they are in their 30's with their best years gone.
I needed to hear this today, and I appreciate very much having role models who still talk like this.
Currently 22 and single and my primary issue is finding a woman who shares my values. I'm not even looking for perfection, I'm just looking for someone who doesn't want to kill babies, believes in God, and believes that transitioning children is akin to bodily mutilation. It's exceptionally hard to do that nowadays, apparently, and the only people my age who do believe that are already married.
So they are out there! Keep up hope since there are people your age that think like this and are married
I’m on a similar boat. I’m 26 years old now and it’s been very difficult finding the Ideal girl : someone who loves God & truth as much as me - or even more! I been working in the meantime to become the best possible future spouse, I know God will provide :)
There is a dating app out there for right wingers that have Conservatives Christian women out there.
@@ResidentRecon89 I’m personally opposed to use dating apps lol. Best way to find a partner is to get out there and be involved in the community. And not just hide behind a screen
@Potato Joe they are out there. There’s dozens of extremely devout Christian girls in my city. Only way to meet them is to get involved in your church and community
Marriage is a big deal and you need to think it through before you do it and it’s okay to never even get married because marriage doesn’t equate to happiness and it’s not great to get married young you should save marriage until you’re absolutely sure because marrying someone to soon and then finding out it was the wrong choice is detrimental
I delayed marriage until 35. And it couldn't be any other way. I wanted to travel the world, and there is no way that would have happened if I was married. And so I did. I went to a lot of places and had the time of my life. In a sense i've been able to refine and reflect on myself and become a better version of myself from my own will to do so.
There is no way that would have happened if I was married is too strong a statement. By 35 my wife and I had lived in four different countries, and had traveled to dozens of other countries. Our two children were born overseas. Because we were married when we had these adventures - hiking in the Alps and the Himalayas, walking through Red Square, riding camels around the Pyramids, strolling down the Champs Élysées, and so many more - we can recall them together.
Lol as if you can’t travel with a wife and kids. So you’re just going to sit around now and do nothing with your family?
@@alqoshgirl I was living out of a backpack for 14 months, traveling through middle east, Eastern Europe, North Africa and South America. Not only is that unaffordable for a whole family, its not exactly safe, or feasible to organize a type of trip like that.
@@kenpumford754 amazing. That wasn't my experience. The woman I was with prior to finding my wife didn't have the money, the ability to take the time off, or even that strong of an interest. Me and my wife travel now, but the way we travel is a lot different than when I traveled solo
Before concerning yourself with being with a great person you must first be diligent in being the best version of yourself so that not only can someone be right for you but so you can also be right for them.
My Grandma's and Grandads were all married. Death separated them.
My Mum and Dad remain married. Death will separate them.
I therefore had stability growing up, I knew that I wanted to get married.
Had some girlfriends didn't work out.
Was with my wife for 9 years before we married.
Now been together 27 years.
Death will separate us.
Everyone said the 7 year itch will get you!
Never did!
What makes a great marriage?
-Trust
- Never lie to each other
- Tolerance of each other
- Arguing is to be expected but learn how to control emotions
- Talk to each other, do things together, love unconditionally.
-Support and guide each other
-Share happiness and sadness together
Marriage takes work. Its not easy but if you really love someone enough to say, "till death do us part" you have someone to grow old with and when you have kids, they will come first for both of you.
Your kids will be stronger, and will carry those values forward.
The far left ideologies and woke agenda risks affecting marriage and by default the children will also be damaged and that, shamefully, is what is wrong with the world!
Marriage is an institution worth fighting for.
My wife and I didn't get married young, but we've been together since my early 20s and her late teens. Now we have a house and son. She has shaped who I am today massively and I shaped her in return.
33 and barely any relationships, still trying though but I'm losing motivation with every year
Unfortunately a lot easier said than done Ben. At 23 years old social media has ruined women my age for the most part. It’s really hard to find somebody with traditional and conservative values
Lol is it more likely that it's most women who are the problem, or just you?
@Potato Joe haha. So hang on let me get this straight...MOST women in their early twenties are ruined? That must account for millions of people; can I ask how you conducted this investigation? The interview time alone! How did you decipher that they were 'ruined'? Gosh, all this happening without me knowing
Agreed. Happy to have gotten married at 22. 31 now with 5 children. I have a bachelor's degree with no use, a dingy house from the 1900s and 3 jobs with my wife's 1 job just to keep the family afloat... and I wouldn't trade it for a single life in a fancy condo and successful job. My family is God's blessing to me and never a day am I ashamed of the life I live now because of the ones in my life.
@Voice Nerd~
Wonderful testimony.
God bless you and your family.
I want to get married but the girls I like want money.
Got married young. You do grow up together and shape each other. But many times people just change to drastically and you get divorced. For many men, this can derail and cripple them for decades.
Unfortunately doesn’t apply to me. Don’t feel romantic love nor do I desire children but I see how it can be beneficial for some and can stop someone from becoming to arrogant.
"Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth" - Proverbs 5:18
Do not get married young. Not with family court the way it currently is.
I think it's something that is personal and everyone has to decide for themselves. I also feel like someone should know themselves pretty well before they make that decision and commitment. Sometimes that comes with a little bit of age under your belt.
I completely agree with you. You can’t put an age and time on something, especially marriage.
Thats beautiful, I wish that would have happened to me. Im 32 and I am still not married. I felt as if I needed to find the right person and maybe I was too tough and stiff in that aspect of my life.
Don’t worry, my parents had me when one was in their late 30s and the other in their early 40s
My biggest regret in life is not marrying young.
I was telling a friend yesterday that I should have married my 7 year fiancée, and never run my life because I CAN. Choices…
why ? did that set you back later in your life ?
Same. 31 and still not married. I should have tried harder to be more social when I was younger. Especially when I was in high school and I knew my female friend was interested in me but I was too shy and afraid to ask her out.
First girlfriend wanted to marry me and I declined...
And I dodged a BULLET! Woohoo!
Marriage is gone fellas--until they change the law. You are essentially signing a contract where there is over a 50% chance (worse odds than a coinflip!) it will fail and the other party gets access to half your assets.
When it works, it's great. When it doesn't work, your life is ruined
I think a lot of people would have married when they were younger but they listened to the crowd that told them that said hey you're still young don't think about marriage just get a job make money or go to college and build a career than you'll be happy.
I think this is horrible advice don't think you should wait too late and definitely shouldn't get married to young because it's a great possibility you will divorce.
I think these people think they delete that just because you're on the right side you are perfect or something like that is just ridiculous people don't have the maturity today for marriage. Most people had absent parents or horrible parents you got to take time to get over things that happen in your childhood through your adulthood. A lot of people are lacking support through their childhood because both parents are working and no one stays at home for the child and that's if you have good parents. A nanny doesn't cut it they need their parents. I know this is a very unpopular opinion because obviously the right has some delusions about themselves as well the right and left is pretty much a cult.
I was 17. My husband was 19. We celebrated 50 years this July. We grew up together for sure.
I think Ben is completely right, the problem is that the culture has radically changed to make sure most men can't have what Ben has told us about. We can only change ourselves.
Yea, how many people fall in love and and up marrying a childhood sweetheart? And how many women today will really even consider marrying a broke guy? Ben isn't experienced in today's sexual market place.
@@kenttyler1243 Yeah the unfortunate state of the current dating climate was completely neglected in this video. We don't live in a time era where you can just meet someone on the sidewalk or at a park, or at a shopping mall and, like a fairytale, everything just falls in place and you live happily ever after. Nowadays looking for a SO, or hell even just a date is fucking chore anymore. Everyone is either busy, broke, or both. They all have something going on. Even at social events, it seems like everyone is already taken and there isn't much opportunity to have a shot at finding someone anymore. The modern dating market is a fucking mess, and at some point the thrill of looking for someone just stops being fun. It really cripples your motivation to keep trying.
@@bretbuckley704and then when you're still single because of these issues, Ben and half bus supporters just go on about how you must be a gay liberal Marxist/bad Christian/ destroying the fabric of the country because you didn't get married at 18 after proposing on your 3rd date and then have your first kid 9 months after the wedding.
My wife and I were young when we married. I was 20. Best thing I ever did. We didn't get each other at first, but we grew into each other. Today she's my best friend., and most importantly, the one human being on earth that I trust the most.
The grass is always greener mentality and rampant narcissistic social media has made it almost impossible to find and sustain true committed love
By the time you're 40, you discover that, over time, you've evolved into a completely different person that when you were at the ripe age of 27. No doubt your habits are different, your interests are different, and your priorities are different. So it's no surprise that many of us who married really young will often look back on the decision with some measure of regret. Plus Divorce is 50% less likely for someone who is 25 years old when they wed, compared to 20.
A study reveals that getting married after one's mid-30s is actually riskier than getting married in one's late 20s.
The best age at which to get married appears to be between 28 and 32, according to research.
I think marriage is a very individual thing. Not everyone is able to marry young, nor should they feel compelled to do so. In my country, many people get married around 20-25 and start popping out babies immediately. But at the same time, very few of the couples who I know that got married young are actually happy. In fact, divorce rates for young marriages where I live is extremely high. It's a nice idea in theory, and I applaud the couples who did get married young and maintained a great relationship, but it's just not very realistic in our day and age. As a 25 year old woman, I still have a couple of key problems to sort, milestones to accomplish and understand myself better as an individual. Personally, getting married young for me would have been a disaster. Which goes back to my original point of when and if to get married being a very individual thing.
This was an amazing video, God bless man! It really opened my eyes about marriage young
It may be too late for me, turning 30 within next year with scarce dating experience under my belt, but I wish all the best for future generations.
I think as a Christian, its more important to have a committed relationship with the creator. Everything else is water under the bridge.
Unfortunately, I will never be married. I don’t think God has it planned for me at my ripe age of 44yr. Strange how there are many good single people out there who want marriage and that aren’t married. ☹️
you are still a young man. there a lot of men in their 40s and 50s who are marrying and having children.
Not everyone gets a happy ending
… AFTER the marriage/divorce/custody laws change. I wont even consider getting married until that happens.
… and I would very much like to.
@@BLASTIC0 The law only matters if your marriage fails.
Bad idea. You’re doing exactly what the forces of evil in the world today want you to do: not reproduce.
It’s really simple, if you think that you’ll get screwed out of the marriage deal, then buck off legal conventions. Make a prenuptial agreement with your partner before marriage that except in legitimate cases, such as with adultery or domestic abuse, whoever initiates a divorce forfeits all rights to taking care of the children and all rights to all the money owned by both parties.
It’s seriously that simple. And if a woman isn’t willing to go that far with you, then she clear isn’t the right one to begin with.
@@kevinrobinson5654 And it can fail much easier due to no fault divorce and the incentive of alimony and child support.
The point of marriage was that there was no divorce. You can’t completely destroy that institution and then pretend as if it’s the same thing it was when Jesus talked about it.
I understand where you're coming from and it's sad that you and others feel that way. Marriage ìs such a beautiful experience with neither party has to worry about one betraying the other.
Another consideration. With all the current laws in place, my husband can freely divorce and leave me at anytime with little consequence. He's not stuck with me and chooses to stay inspite of my temper, poor housekeeping skills, annoying habits, and every other thing I do that isn't up to my own standards. I can do the same to him but choose to stay with him inspite of all his faults where he doesn't live up to his own standards but I don't find them "that bad".
The fact one can freely choose to leave the other, we can be secured in knowing that we're both freely choosing to stay to work things out.
That’s a slippery slope, I’ve seen too many young kids rush into marriage just to have it fall apart, I think people should take their time and really get to know the other person and grow as a couple before they get married
I was 17 and my husband was 19. We meet at 15 and 17. We are 35 and 37 now. We still together 3 kids and a dog.
WRITE ME ☝️📥✍️
Get married young, get divorced young because you have no idea who you are or what you want… marry a second time and hopefully get it right 😂😂😂
I love these guys and agree with most of what they say, but the marriage thing is rough territory. Women having enough money and independence to prevent them from being reliant on a less than worthy man really hurts the odds.
Helps if you are part of a religion. If both of you prioritize your faith over material success, hopefully you will realise the choice to be together is life long
@@b.melakail Not even religion is a guarantee. There are a lot of tradcon chameleons out there who have learned to hide their shady past. And while Jesus may forgive you, your body and psyche will remember. The more sexual partners a woman has had, the bigger your chance will be of a divorce. Jesus forgiving her for her sins will not change that.
No it just makes you someone that has poor decision making skills. You can know if you’re compatible within weeks. It’s not that hard. People don’t do that though and waste time for no reason and are with people they are not compatible with. Someone in the comments wasted 9 years of his life because they didn’t agree on having children. Like how? You can know that on the first day you meet them. Do you want kids? No? Ok, it was nice meeting you but you’re not the one. That’s it.
Ideally, sure. But I think it should be noted that each individual needs to discover who they themselves are before they seek out that relationship. We all need to struggle, perhaps even hit rock bottom, and figure out how to navigate life on our own before we settle down. Too many people let their friends define who they are, we all need to spend a solid amount of time alone to truly discover ourselves.
Bullshit. Humans are social creatures and we find ourselves in our community.
@@squidlytv Nobody finds themselves when they constantly feel pressure to fit in or to conform to a particular idea.
@@jimboramba It's not about conformation or fitting in. It's about helping other people besides yourself. You can't go far without other people
Stop trying to find yourself. It is a waste of time.
@@squidlytv That's true, but it is also true that you can find yourself in more trouble than you'd get yourself in on your own if you associate with the wrong kinds of people. Forget marriage, look at all the people who are teaching this woke garbage at schools. Herd mentality is strongest among children and they are very susceptible to being convinced of being something or someone that they are not.
I waited until i was 61, primarily because I was just not marriage material. My friends said that I went through women like Seinfeld, because there always something about the person that turned me off as I got to know them. Im coming up on my 5th year anniversary, and I couldnt be happier.
I'm 27 and single with no one even remotely interested in me, its the best!
I love it!
I get to lay in a bed by myself all of my life... its fantastic!