Win Your Relationship with Dr John Gray (Men Are from Mars): Ep 101 | Win the Day w James Whittaker
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 พ.ย. 2024
- "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart." - Helen Keller
In this episode:
» Proven tips to immediately strengthen your relationship
» The biggest mistakes people make in the home
» Secrets of a happy marriage; and
» How to achieve your highest level of fulfillment.
Let’s WIN THE DAY with relationship expert Dr John Gray!
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Timemarkers:
0:18 Who is Dr John Gray
2:44 Differences between men and women
5:35 How the role of women has shifted
7:55 What men and women need
10:58 Biggest tip for men
14:06 How to prevent escalation
17:26 Biggest tip for women
19:37 Understanding a man’s cave
23:00 How to bring more romance into the relationship
27:54 What happens when a man gets angry
30:52 Why women need to come first
34:06 What a healthy relationship is
35:30 How relationships without intimacy can get back on track
41:42 How to increase sexual attraction
47:57 The truth about the 5 Love Languages
50:06 How to show appreciation for a woman
52:27 Rocket Round
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Resources / links mentioned:
⚡ John Gray website:
www.marsvenus.com
📝 John Gray Facebook:
/ mars.venus.john.gray
📷 John Gray Instagram:
/ johngraymarsvenus_offi...
📚 ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’ by John Gray:
amzn.to/3QAt0N4
📙 ‘Beyond Mars and Venus: Relationship Skills for Today's Complex World’ by John Gray:
amzn.to/3wbSAja
🧭 ‘Codependent No More’ by Melody Beattie:
amzn.to/3A5oCyC
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Who is John Gray?
John Gray is the author of mega-bestseller, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. It’s been named one of the most influential books of all time and was the #1 best-selling hardcover book of the 1990s.
Dr. Gray is a prolific author, with more than 20 books available in 50 languages in 150+ countries.
His work unites communication, nutrition, and health, to create the brain and body chemistry for lasting well-being, happiness, and romance. An advocate of health and optimal brain function, he also provides natural solutions for overcoming depression, anxiety, and stress to support increased energy, libido, hormonal balance, and better sleep.
Dr. Gray has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, as well as on The Dr. Oz Show and Good Morning America. He’s also been featured in Time, Forbes, and USA Today, and was the subject of a three-hour special hosted by Barbara Walters.
His latest book is Beyond Mars and Venus where he shares relationship skills to thrive in today’s complex modern world.
Dr. Gray lives in Northern California where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren.
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Thanks for watching 🙂
#wintheday #jameswhittaker #winthedaypodcast #podcasting #mindset #businesscoaching #personaldevelopment #growthmindset #selfhelp #lifecoaching #podcasts #johngray #menarefrommars #relationships
UPDATE: We're organizing a second interview with John Gray! Leave a comment with your question so we can include it in the follow up interview 🎁
Infidelity / sex addiction / hyper sexuality / and betrayal trauma - -( which is becoming a big problem getting bigger due to massive effect of porn in the digital age - and - the emotional mother wounds in men being rampant and also growing concern due to more women being the male role in marriages due to career) ...:.to summarize)
how to overcome guilt and shame as a man to get therapy help for this issue
I never get tired of listening to Dr. John Gray!❤
please bring him back. he is the real deal.
An exceptionally knowledgable individual. What I've learned (and implemented) from him has been truly lifechanging 🙏
@@JamesWhittaker1 I agree. Please bring him back and have him comment on current affairs e.g. politics, culture, pop culture. I'm so interested on what he has to say.
Obvious bot comment. Bots never touch on the details of the statements made. They just say
oh wowie isn't this great super duper neato give me more of this drivel that would be wonderful.
They cancelled him because he is the real deal 😢
John Gray's Version of Love Languages ,Different forms of Love
Appreciation,Acceptance ,Trusting Someone,Caring about Someone
Listening and understanding in a non-judgemental way
Respecting someone
Honoring Someone
Putting them above you
Serving them is Respect
”We should be more like women but yet work in jobs designed for men” This was so true! He describes perfectly what has lately been on my mind. Social engineering and political incorrectedness about how masculinity and femininity are played out in our society and how we have manufactured systems that do not support our hormonal well-being. I find it extremely difficult and exhausting to be a woman in today’s society and feel like it does not allow me to express my natural instincts.
Yep, well masculinity and femininity are just arbitrary lists of attributes. All the good attributes on either list are just human attributes.
The false dichotomy is just oppressive nonsense.
He has the most brilliant wisdom that includes neuro chemistry, biology and psychology dovetailed with society conditioning and nuisances. Plus he priorotizes Sexual intimacy which is foundational to humanbeings.
I love his five love languages for men: honor, listen, care for, trust, accept, appreciate. And I love his Venus talk idea for a woman to do with herself on audio recording to listen later, process and let go! Two people should enjoy time with each other mainly.
I think you know how to talk to me to stimulate my testosterone. Good vid.You've learned well.😊
I've seen him interviewed and I read some of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, but this interview finally got through to me. Oh my gosh, the light bulb went off on much of why my late husband and I suffered so much in our 24 years of marriage.
This is happening and like you said She cannot sleep at night after her work Needs to talk aboutbm everything of day, attend to her, lots of interaction then make sure I did all the talks of the day. I am stressed out she's stressed out. The gym was helping but not recently applying tioes. The first few years great. My best friend any time he's talking to me his wife comes up with tasks or him or he has to attended to her, or to go take care of his buys.
Great interview. New listener/subscriber because I searched for John Gray relationship help. Lots of wisdom in these words.
Thank you for watching, commenting, and subscribing! John is an amazing guy - so much to implement based on everything he shared here. Appreciate your support 🙏
🍀🍀z
Sweet!
Gosh, I LOVE John Gray! And James, your wife is a lucky lady that you get it. As a woman, I thank you.
37:52 wow, when my relationship was at its absolute worst I was the heaviest I’ve ever been by 20lb. When he moved out and I started looking after myself again it fell off.
I swear, his messages never get old… so many nuggets 🙌
Thank you so much for the relationship wisdom
Really awesome show!! I learned so much and thanks for bringing doc onto the show, really wise and humble man❤
I could listen to this for hours, it's great, so obvious when you hear it
So true! Thanks for watching / commenting Penelope 🙂
@@JamesWhittaker1 +
I spent 4 years with a narcissist. That was the worst 4 years of my life but I was afraid to leave because he threatened my life. When I tried to talk to him he would always tell me it was nothing but a meatball.
Thank you. Great interview.
John Gray is the best councillor. We are lot more happier than before following his guidance. Please have more discussions with him.
Can you please advice how to adjust night owl behaviour husband to morning person please. I’m a morning person and this is very much clashing. I tried different ways but hard to work it out. I wish good health and long life to John Gray
Why do you see the need to change your husband when your husband doesn't see the need to change you to a night person? Isn't it more important to love and accept each other?
@@EdmundHeng80why judge her needs? If she wants to feel closer to her husband she has every right
Great Dr Gray 🎉
Another fantastic interview. Absolutely loved it
Thank you Robin! So glad you enjoyed it 🙏
Great to hear you, a beautiful 😂Australian accent, so nice too, I am Australian, rarely hear on utube, i listen to American and English mostly!❤
Amazing man!🙂 I appreciated this talk immensely!🙂
Excelent !!!!! Every good questions 🙌🙌🙌
❤
You are using a great microphone and your sound is excellent! Bravo!
ah, I had missed John Gray, hadn't seen him in a while:)
James that is one of your interviews that you hardly got a world in ... very timely after only hearing John over the weekend on another show and he sat me up ,so yeah again right on the button. Thank Noel for the link on his newsletter...
He's got some incredible insights, right!? I learned so much.
@@JamesWhittaker1 We never stop learning - well so says my other half ... I have learnt after all these years how to filter better :)
This really was an amazing interview, very poignant well thought out questions, intriguing insights and you brought out the gold in Dr. John Gray. I really appreciate that about you. Just subscribed and I don't do that often but I am impressed and would love to hear you interview more. I'd love to hear you interview Dr. Nirmala Krishnan who does some amazing Sacred Geometry Workshops and has a very unique awareness and esoteric insight. She's from Melbourne Australia, and I recently attended her 4 Week Sacred Geometry Workshop and every single person had mystical experiences and very serendipitous experiences. Really shows how we are all truly connected. Just a thought.
W O W. Thankyou so much to learn . Thankyou Thankyou
Thank you for watching 🙏
Loved this!! It was so insightful!! ❤🎉
Really good! This helps to remove my ego from the situation!
LOVED this interview! The questions were awesome and the information very helpful ❤Thank u for sharing! Namaste 🙏☮️💖
I’ve known about that book for a long time but his videos are the BEST. He is RIGHT on POINT!
Question for him: how did you know? 😊
Really enjoyed this interview
Excellent talk Great teaching and questions ⭐️❤️💕🙏🕊
28:39 Estrogen is Emotions
34:37
37:20 Muscle are Testosterone makers
38:15 Work
40:48 Motivate Men
40:51
39:48 Co Dependent No More
41:12 Sex Therapist
42:04
What a beautiful soul
Love John, Glad to see him out and about and Healthy. As a woman; I clearly see that I have needs that I don't know how to address with men. I also see my Major Mistakes in communication. I'm so fortunate that my man isn't into Porn. When my girl friends talk about trouble with their man, its less than a nano second that I know the "change" or if its a new guy, its pron. Men that watch porn are horrible lovers. They don't even make the grade of good sex partner.
Brilliant man. Never took the time to see his work. Wow I am impressed ❤❤❤
Awesome interview ❤❤❤
Thank you Rebecca! So glad you enjoyed it 🙏
Thank you for interviewing this amazing man! I wish I had read Dr Gray’s book a long long time ago. I was so mistreated by my husband in 1999 and found so many self help books unuseful. Now decades later I discovered this tool. I wonder if the book title was “Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars” ie if the title was backwards I would have bought the book sooner and possibly benefited sooner. I had always been a people pleaser so the title turned me off because the word “Man” came first. It would be more authentic to put the name “Woman” first because that would reflect the pivotal role of a woman in a relationship. Please pass my comment on to Dr John Gray for me because his daughter’s website would not allow me to comment.
Thank you so much!
God Bless
Donn O
Wonderful content. Thank you so much!
Just like your Dad, James! Great! Wayne Major.
Thank you Wayne!
Amazing interview, thank you 😊
Thanks for watching 🙏💜
There was a lot of great information here. ❤
I plan to share this.
Thank you! So glad it was of value 🎉
What a resume!
Great interview and informative. What’s the normal cave period? How do you know it’s the time to break the cave time?
Fantastic recommending this to my clients 🙏
What if you are going through menopause from hormone blockers for breast cancer? What about those women? Would raising their estrogen be dangerous for them?
🎉THANKS DR GRAY🎉
This was spectacular! Thank You! 🙏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻💫☺️
Thank you for watching / commenting @JC Szot. So glad you enjoyed it 🙏
Legend!
🙏
What if the woman is on HRT ? How does that affect hormones in a relationship?
What to do if you giving and not getting… because of the hormonal imbalance are reverse between youyou and your partner…?
Great question. This should help: m.th-cam.com/video/vg2VZwLNFoI/w-d-xo.html
The answer you want is at 22 mins 17 secs in that episode: “Why women lose their sexual desire (and what to do when couples have a different sex drive)”
32:00. Soooo true.
I remember being in a bookshop when men are from mars came out. There was a guy looking at the book,and he said: men are from mars, women are from venus. I quipped: you ain't whistling dixie pal. He laughed so hard he got the hiccups!
I want my future husband to solve my problem!
I get upset when he don’t help me with my problems!
Open, honest, and respectful communication is usually a good starting point. Or perhaps you could watch this episode together and use that for talking points :)
Thanks Dr Gray,
How are you I've been alone most of my life I've tried five different dating for fifteen years still no, Soulmate or hubby in my
life can you help I'm a straight arrow, I'm not gay it's confusing enough to be in a Heterosexual relationship honey I'm praying 🙏 my life will take a turn around soon I am a people person I love romance and giving love😍 sharing our life's together I'm not a bitter person I was raised by my father thanks,,,Beverly
💕 to here ur advice sir...
Yaaay!!!❤
I asked my counselor about this man's book...I have a hard time dealing with my narcissistic roommate 😒....he screams loudly at me blaming me for things he did!!!!...
I think he has dementia 😮.....he does nothing but play on computer all day while I am stuck doing all housework and then complains what a lousy job I did!!! Housing is a real problem here and I have been wanting to move for 2 years unsuccessfully 😮 any suggestions on how to survive this until I MOVE????
It’s so true and a big fault in the other person when their partner is under stress and their personality is bringing more of their inner hurt or healed child which come out and we don’t see it and it can hurt us ?!! The other one instead of retaliating needs to be in the understanding mode to heal the wounds by accepting not getting it personal and helping heal the wounds if the other. You can be accretive in what you say instead of aggressive 😢The world will be a better place for the 2 in 1 heart ❤🎉. God as The Center in Jesus ex sample helps 100 million %⭐️🙏🕊
Jesus is an example of unconditional love and compassion forgiveness ❤
I wonder if I missing something …he was dating a Chinese lady two years after his wife died and he seems so happy with her even though he said he would see her when he could as she was always traveling now he looks like he could use a haircut and he looks a little disheveled plus I’ve never seen him in glasses and he seems tired. He talked about being defrauded after the loss of his wife I wonder if something happened with his Chinese lady… hope not. He’s such a kind gentle individual with such a compassionate heart. I will pray for him.
I can't speak to his personal relationships, although he was certainly an open book with any questions he was asked - publicly and privately. Re: seems tired and a little disheveled, John was traveling to LA to speak at a three-day event. The morning after the event finished, we recorded this interview so he, understandably, would have been tired but still did an incredible job. Personally, I'm exhausted in the days after an event! We'll get him back for round two soon and you can compare how fresh he looks there :)
I love an accent 😊
Mine or John's ☺🦘
Great information and thanks for sharing this interesting interview 🙏
❤❤❤❤❤🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
This approach is the narcs all time favorite
Thanks James. Interesting and informative. I read a similar book back in 2006. After years of inner work I have found that emotions are the answer to all our relationships, and not only our personal ones (especially the one I have with self). As I peeled back and acknowledged and expressed each emotion as they arose, in any given situation, love eventually became my conscious intent. The surprising benefit of emotional healing is that a clear mind prevails with creativity flourishing. Rather than relying on the intellect and memory to adjust and change old behavioural patterns, I had a natural and intuitive progression toward how I acted in a loving way. If the intellect is our main focus them the precious gift of emotions can often be bypassed. I feel first, and my simple intent now is to bring love into everything I do. Bruce Lee put it simply, "don't think, feel." The 13th century poet Rumi penned emotional acknowledgment and expression beautifully in his poem The Guest House. I have included the poem in my latest blog on emotional healing (after my shoulder surgery).
steveconnorandlife.wordpress.com/2022/08/30/emotional-healing-and-my-rotator-cuff-repair/
(you can thank your dad for the link to your podcast).
Love everything you just shared Stephen!
There's a book I read recently by Michael Singer called 'The Untethered Soul' - definitely worth a look if you haven't read it.
Thanks again for commenting 🙏
Honestly, the one I’m divorcing is definitely a narcissist. I think clinical. He’s always been self centered. Always told me to own my actions and then wouldn’t own his. He would get in my face and intimidate me. He hit my kids. He shoved me into a stove. I think people say narc because it’s easier than saying how they were abused. He would force me to do things in bed by holding me down and do it anyway if I wouldn’t allow him to. The first time he saw me gush, he screamed at me for peeing on him, when it wasn’t pee. I hid in the bathroom and cried for hours. Then because he realized what it really was I had to perform that every sexual encounter. After he had already traumatized me with it. So, I became aversive to sex. I wanted to rip off my flesh and burn it every single time he touched me. And then he would tell me I wasn’t letting him have his love language.
I am so sorry you had to experience that with your ex-husband.
Some people really are abusive, there’s no denying that. I’m so sorry for what you went through.
TMI.
I love tigers and all animals more than i could ever love men they are dominant comanders and users why should anyone kill animals mankind is filled with self
30:52
Huge 💡
too bad Amber Heard didn;t see this -
What this unfortunately fails to address, is that it’s self-abandoning to male hormones to have to consistently listen to berations and complaints. I understand completely the validity of the argument, but in my eyes an ideal partnership is two people giving themselves what they need in order to be able to give the other what they need simultaneously. This argument is skewed so much toward a male constantly giving to a female, when, in my belief, it should be reciprocal. If I’m going to listen and respond effectively while harming my own hormones in the process, then my partner should also respect my desire to not have to dissect every single issue that may arise in the relationship.
Sometimes, detachment is a better approach for males. Oftentimes, a male partner who listens is best for the female. But I don’t buy into the notion that one partner - in this case the male - should give and give to the point of building resentment simply to meet the hormonal needs of his partner.
A certain degree of self-soothing is crucial, for BOTH people. And also, picking your battles and recognizing if the complaint or discussion is even worth having.
For sure! I believe a lot changes when kids come into the equation because women then become mothers, which requires a LOT more work and a lot less sleep. If she's also focused on her career, it's like the perfect storm. That's the point in particular where men need to focus on giving and listening even more to retain harmony in the home. Thanks for watching and sharing your thoughts 🙏
I diss agree with you!
If you clearly listen to what DR grey says it’s a lot a women should do as well!
Men are the giver !
Not the opposite!
I watched another interview with him with a woman, where he talked mostly about how women can understand and get along better with men, and it sounded like women have to do a lot more to keep a man happy, so I think it goes both ways.
You need to read his book. You are making a judgement which is incorrect based on a very short interview. Marriage is not 50/50 it is 100/100, but at different times.
You sound like you have a major chip on your shoulder.
Women need cave time to renew as well.
Biased against women, "when the wife complains." Really? Women cannot just discuss things, it's complaining? This guy is a piece of work! Thumbs down.
Facts!!!!
With all the great info he has, that's what your focus on?? Mind you, he's talking about relationships between 2 mentally healthy adults. Look how triggered you got. It's called healthy criticism.
I had 5 lovers now I’m down to 4 nothing he says makes sense to me. I’m part of the LGQB community. He’s on another planet, Uranus! NOT everyone fits his description! PERIOD. I think it’s demeaning to ignore us as if our group doesn’t exist!??
Sounds like you are just telling how men should behave around women and not vice versa. This is BS. Teach women how to raise mans testosterone not just tell em its nice to nagg and to man that he must listen her all the time. Teach women how to respect and show her how to belong to her man, how to be hot for him etc. This guy is pretty beta type of guy so he must comfort woman in that way. Normal men don't need all that girlfriend vibe stuff just to make his woman happy. This guy is kinda joke and looks like ppl pleaser so as long as he is pleasing women he will feel worthy, He totally is spreading girl vibes around but speaks about dragon energy, what dragon energy dude?
Mostly everything John gray does that I’ve seen on TH-cam has been geared to women. He rarely is talking to the male audience.
@@robsin7 got you Robin. A lot of "products" are aimed at women because they are generally easier to trick into. My job as man is to make a girl desirable and not to be her nagging vent and best girlfriend. Thx for reply lady
He does in other videos. For example saying you right, good job, positive reinforcement. When men accomplish little deeds, choirs...increase as well
As a woman I guarantee if you listen to him you will have a woman see you as her one and only and hero. Why would you not want that?
@@kerrymillar1267 aS A WoMAn, shut your mouth lady. I have lady and I'm her everything. I'm not beta cucko like this thing in video
This man’s tremendous
Absolutely! Amazing guy 🙏