In Love with a Co Worker?? How to Deal With That.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ม.ค. 2024
- Followingfenna.com
I offer personal counseling with a scheduled appointment or on an "emergency" basis.
followingfenna.com
Hello there!
My name is Fenna van den Berg, I am a certified coach and counselor. I have worked in the mental health field for over 25 years.
Having been through episodes of Limerence, I have "earned my stripes" to help others with their recovery. I understand the obsession and suffering of Limerence. My passion is being able to share with you, and all limerents, a guided-way forward on your journey of healing. We do this through discovering and practicing self-love and compassion. As someone who has suffered through limerence, I have developed effective coaching for people with limerence. My Coaching has helped countless have a more purposeful life, and I want to help you. We will work together, so that you may have a life more in line with your values and integrity.
Together, we are blossoming a community of friendly people with the same debilitating feelings and experiences of Limerence. Here, we share with, support, and nurture each other in giving love to ourselves, perhaps for the first time.
When you’re ready to end your pain and suffering from seeking the "Other," I’m here to guide you in recognizing your true lovable self, with compassionate teaching, counseling and also private coaching.
For my help, please contact me: fenna@followingfenna.com or on followingfenna.com
My editor is the best!! : Heymel Visual
Graphics: Studio Ilse van Klei ilsevanklei.nl/
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Followingfenna.com for my help in your limerence
i had an obsession over my coworker, then i was fired and that was my blessing
I can imagine, that was actually a good thing 😀
May I ask why you were fired? Did your LO tell management ? Did you disclose to them?
@@terrycraig6386 nah, it wasnt related to LO, just job cuts. No one knew about my obsession, im a good actress
"No buying see-through blouses" LOL you're hilarious Fenna! Thank you for making your videos enjoyable and entertaining to watch during this difficult time for us limerents.
You are very welcome and thank you for the compliment !
I was in love/limerence with a co worker for 10 months - when i sat next to them. it was miserable- it took me 4 years to recover. I was happy when my contract ended and after 10 months i left the job but it destroyed me forever. we were both single yet he didnt like me back. he enjoyed my attention and my light that i shone on him. we did develop a bond but he didnt like me back. it damn near killed me. never again.
I hear you but please try not to romanticise the whole thing that happened , like it was big love etc🙏 I'm sure there were people in your life you didn't like back and it doesn't mean there was something wrong with them, attraction just wasn't there, period. So this time the roles were reversed, not a big deal, happens all the time🙂 second thing- try next time remove yourself earlier when you see your interest isn't reciprocated so U don't get attached. Best wishes 😊
You're not destroyed forever, you just had bad experience x
omg this is me! thank you for sharing
it's sooooo hard! not only does he enjoy my attention, he texts all the time, invites me out and over, at first he was even paying for everything until i insisted he let me pay. He has 4 more months until he can go to a different job! I can't even sleep with other men without thinking of him or feeling guilty, I feel absolutely insane! I can't wait for this to be over
@d1v1n1ti So sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. What I found most hard was that I always felt that I was alone in having unrequited love - but now I know it was limerence and even though it is the most painful thing that I have ever been through - i made it to the other side: - 7 years later, and that I am not the only one whom has experienced it. Sending love from London xx
Very good content 👌 thanks
I cringe because I've done all of them things😬 I would add: not listening to a music and thinking of them/ fantasising.
Good point!
And we've all done all of them : D
I have felt limerence for my co-worker for probably over a year now, but I can honestly say that, taking the approach in this video plus some other measures, I am not in the same level of pain I was when I first started starving out the feelings. Yes, not being able to go fully no contact is a disadvantage that unfortunately could be prolonging the process, but I have come to accept what I feel for her as background static in my mind that will simply stay with me for a while. It's distracting and it's frustrating and sometimes it hurts so much that I just want to clamp my hands over my ears, but I have what it takes to turn the volume back down and keep it low. And then hopefully, one day, maybe I'll think about it again and realize that I don't hear it anymore.
I wish you well. For me it was like a cloud of gnats around my head
Wauw, thank you for sharing this.
I hope so too and congrats on the progress so far!
It's been a year and 2 months since I fell in Limerence for my co worker. 7 months since we stopped working together and still my Limerence is so strong for her. I wish I could go back in time and never get close to her because this is the most painful thing ive ever felt in my life. I can't see a way forward
Just keep going, it will get better, really.
Yeah keep going, I've been where you are right now and believe me you'll be ok, happy again. It took me 2 years, now I'm happier than ever 😊
Thank you for uploading this here Fenna much appreciated.
You are very welcome 🙏
YES! A video in this topic, I have been suffering so much.
Hope it helps Denise :)
I just recently learned what limerence is. Now, after watching your videos, I now realize that this sounds to me like it's a SILENT EPIDEMIC.
I almost wish that I was totally ignorant of this phenomenon. It sounds like, at times, being stuck in a maze that's on fire. The rest of the time
you're on cloud 9.
Thanks Fenna. 8 long years! No more in 24!
I was in that situation twice. Three episodes in two different workplaces. In one case I was lucky because I got fired and never saw her again. During the second case, I got also lucky, more than I could imagine. My LO resigned from work and I dated her briefly and almost got into a relationship with her. As soon as the possibility of a relationship arose...my limerence suddenly burned out. Both women were the same kind of women, basically borderline/narcissistic. The same person with a different "package". I always felt limerence works like a script. My last episode was very short, but it was also the same type of woman and yet again the same workplace as episode no.2. Three episodes in 10 years, I miss the high and I'm lonely as ever. Don't want to settle.
I understand you miss the high.
Good luck to you and thank you for sharing.
Well done, Fenna! This is a universal theme that is very prominent in the workplace. Professional boundaries can get blurred with social interactions. Sometimes, it is tough being human or living as a human being 😊
Thank you Eric. Yep we are human, with everything that comes with that
In my past I managed to use my obsessive feeling with my coworker for managing hard to meet deadlines. I take it as blessing that I managed to do that because of the coworker was mature enough too to understand what was going on. And was very mature to handle me.
Good to hear that!
Thanks. Very interesting topic here.
Thank you Manuel :)
How can i get rid of it? no contact is impossible. i have to see him every day at work. 15 years ago i refused him bec.of being limerent for another boy, now he has become My co-worker. I regret for refusing him every breath i take, but he is unavailable, married with children. Please help me Fenna.
Of course I have one on one coaching for help and guidance
And I'm very sorry this happened to you. You are not alone Sleepless
Like the movie '' Love actually'' , there were to of the characters in limmerance. I think that movies have influence why we develope thendencies..
watched it a long time ago, maybe i should watch it again
Thank you Fenna. Every Wednesday, there will be team lunch, shall I avoid that too? But it will leave the LO to have time with our manager and I don’t like that, either. Thank you.
I was in a similar situation and it is hell, I was jealous about other male coworkers, checking to see if she’s texting while working. 5 months of this and I finally had enough. I tried everything in this video (nothing works)
It’s a very heart breaking situation. Not only did I quit my job, I moved out of state. I even had to break most contact with some other coworker (good friends) so much fear of finding random info about her. I was terrified to walk in the office and hear her talking about a date she was going on or she met someone. Anything that would feed my mind to go crazy! I am still in limerance with her, but it has greatly diminished since leaving. I hate to say this but you may want To seriously think about a new job
Sorry
I've gone through the exact same thing, and this hurts like hell! Good for you for being brave and doing what's best for you to get away from that situation. If I don't shut down over my LO soon, landing a new job is my next move. Best of luck!
avoiding is best, good luck!!!
Could use more on this topic. I have been limerent for a co worker about a month now. She's been there a year or so, and I didn't used to be limerent for her, and during that time I got strong indications she was interested in me. We got along very well, and I probably fed some of that, but didn't act on it bc we work together. Now I've realized I've developed limerence for her, and I tried to distance us for a few days but just couldn't keep it up. She's also going on random dates frequently and because we've talked extensively so much in the past, she keeps telling me about them and it's tearing me apart. My thoughts are nearly constantly on her. Anybody here have advice they think would be helpful?
Well, why would it be impossible to be together?
@followingfenna Well, I suppose it wouldn't be impossible but it doesn't seem like a good idea since we work together and I'm a level above her. I believe there are also some incompatibilities. And I also feel that interest she may have had before probably no longer exists, which is why she's going on so many dates now. And that's assuming I wasn't lying to myself back then. I still get *some* indication of possibly interest but I'm convincing myself that it's just my brain perceiving what it wants to be true.
By the way thank you very much for answering Fenna.