"I'm not gifted. I'm not smarter than everybody else. I'm not stronger. I just have the ability to stick to a plan and not quit." That is so inspiring.
"People aren't who you want them to be." So true. Never forget this, collect data, analyze and be clear your decision is sound before entering the lion's den.
yeah. the problems can occur when u make excuses for them. like: oh her culture is high drama, give her a pass over n over, instead of: she is showing N.P.D. traits, for example.
yeah did the mistake never again you picture this perfect person in ur mind when in reality u can see all the red flags if you really look but you are too scared to look
@@cryptolicious3738 As Iraqi women, I think culture ruins the marriages in America. I see my brothers date American womens when we move here, they just work to hard outside like a man, so they don’t do well inside like a womans from Iraq. Not all womens are same, but culture important. In Iraq we have saying, inside first outside second, and women best inside the heart of man and inside home/family, and man best protecting from the outside and bring provision from outside in. Thats just nature. But American culture has denied that nature. So A woman brightens and shines the light in a mans heart, we are like a shining jewel, and a good wife will shine her light and brighten a mans heart, and the man will be driven to protect and provide for t he Jewel of the family, the wife and mother. This concept very important but unknown in American culture now.
Sometimes the friend zone is completely fubared if you haven’t already initiated the ambush early on. Probably best to break contact and consolidate at the PB
"Jocko dating advice notes" 1.) Stay outside her cave and look for her scat. 2.) Jessica may be great... but acquire more data points. (Refer to point #1)
If "data point" collection means that dating is equivalent to carrying out reconnaissance missions on a predator that could potentially rip out your larynx over who's paying for dinner, then marriage is equivalent to a protracted civil conflict lasting years if not decades. I think Mr Willink would agree.
Better yet, get some spy gadgets, tap her house, put a tracker in her car, hack her phone/laptop/kindle/fitbit/Samsung tv/Amazon echo, and you should be fine.
In a strange way I'm glad I was once living with a girl with several red flags and I had fad flags of my own too, because I've learned a ton from it. I was in denial of my own passive aggression and manipulative behaviour thanks to a defensive ego. I justified her red flags because I was convinced the good qualities were worth consequences. Self-reflection has been key to my personal growth, and earning self-respect demands higher standards both FOR myself and OF myself.
Also, I was willing to be a masochist to be the knight in shining armor when no-one else was. I've learned to follow my head, not my heart; because if you follow your heart, your brain will make excuses, but if you follow your head, your heart will always keep you in check.
I recommend reading "the rational male" by Rollo Tomassi. Although I haven't read it myself there are many things I have learned from Rollo's podcast and from what I know most of what he preaches is writtenis put in book form.
It's very admirable how you are objective and fair in your analysis not shy to mention your own shortcomings. It's so true that we should always use these occasions as opportunities for growth.
Last night I was Tinderized: I was stood up for the first time, but she did send me to a nice restaurant. In response I ordered $150 dollars worth of food including two glasses of scotch and a glass of wine. It was healing to the fact that I stupidly believed her photos above all - with animated red hearts in my eyes - ignored all data points - a glaring language deficit, and mile wide gaps in her narrative. However, I gave business to the restaurant, tipped the staff, and I am glad that I did not get shot, kidnapped, tortured, and left for dead. Listen to the lion folks and be safe.
It's your fault you got stood up dawg, something you did was square af, like takin a bih to a nice dinner on the first date. That's trick shit G and if she did show up it was to get a free meal. You lose either way.
My Ex-" You have Commitment Issues!!!!" Me- "No, I have insufficient data points collected to make a thorough Cost-Benefit Analysis to determine if you'll rip my heart out."
I seriously wish I'd had Jocko's advice before I made the worst mistake of my life! Count up those data points and do NOT over-commit until you have substantially more data. You'll save yourself a lot of grief and pain that way.
Met my wife on a blind date. 3.5 weeks later we were married. I did a little reconnaissance before the wedding and was impressed with her toughness and realized she might be able to deal with my bull. It turns out that she has made me a better man and a fairly decent husband. 24 years of marriage and a great daughter later and we still love each other.
If you’re looking for a woman who can “deal with your bull”, it’s probably best that you do some work on yourself before you get married. Idk why so many men say this same ridiculous line as if it’s endearing.
OMG, it took a Navy Seal Officer to finally make sense to me. Love the no bullshit approach. Wish found this video sooner, would have saved myself lots of trouble and heartbreak. This is my new gospel on dating effectively. LOVE IT
As a data analyst, who’s “actively” dating in a big city jungle, I’d say military maneuvers about collecting data and moving tactically can be applied. I collect data and read flags all the time! Hunting is a good metaphor for this search for mate, as there are definitely predators at all levels. You may not want to be a predator, but definitely you don’t want to be a prey.
“Okay, so here’s the deal: I found this girl, she was like, a 10 out of 10 in the looks category. After some additional surveillance I collected more data points, it was enough to take one tiny move…ask her out. And after even more data collection, the mission is a Go. Time to tactically slip a wedding band on her finger and utter the words…’I do’…check. Mission accomplished, you’re dismissed.” *priest leaves*
You have no idea how much time and energy is inappropriately invested trying to turn moments into a commitment in the minds of individuals. More men than women, but it's a real human tendency
My "red flag" advice to my son was this: Try driving through a city whilst she map reads the directions. If you can survive that without trying to kill her, then the relationship has a future. My university graduate son said, in reply to my sage advice, "what's a map?" There is only so much you can do for them.😂🤣😂
I feel like thats more compatibility test than red flags. A red flag test would be more like having her give directions, intentionally having a hard time following them and seeing how she reacts
Summary of key points: Get to know what someone is like before you get too emotionally invested in them or place them atop a pedestal they may or may not deserve. Notice good aspects of them and red flags Don’t look back on past opportunities/experiences Trust that it’ll work if it’s “supposed to” Take your time, “take it easy”
@@marge3477 It's possible, just breathe deeply into your belly, acknowledge your emotions, keep them at the back of your head, but also allow space for your judgement and conciousness to shine through. Mindfulness and CBT therapy can help you with this. You CANNOT get rid of the emotions, only accept and move past them. If you attempt to shut them down you will shut down emotions in other parts of your life, and life will start to lose its edge, its beauty, and its meaning.
yep biggest mistake guys make and i was like that as well is when you get to excited, and girls smell that you are desperate and they lose attraction for you, BIG mistake
@@mentoriii3475 was talking to this chick for a month, right? the first three weeks I was kinda suspicious of it, walking the boundries. She always seemed super interested, always excited to talk and such, then the last week I started letting my guard down, got just a tiny bit excited, accepting it as a possibility. Then her energy completely changed. I instantly recognized it too. She got distant, didnt wanna talk as much anymore. Knew it was only a matter of time before I got the "Im not looking for anything serious while contradicting myself" message. Ive definitely grown alot cause of how I reacted to that instance versus previous situations. So Im just out here chillin again.
@@50shadesofcerakote we all have been there, were lucky we have people like jocko to guide us, these tips are tips our fathers should give us but instead they chose the never talk bad to women, always apologize even if she is wrong
The bit about only hyper focusing on the good “data points” and ignoring the bad are so simple but so true. When I first watched this almost a year ago, because of where I was at with a potential “partner” it was like a eureka moment for me, and I quickly moved past it.
I’ve never seen his wife, but wouldn’t it be funny if she was just a female version of him? Or completely polar opposite? Free spirit hippy type hahaha
Hilarious that Combat Veteran Jocko who has faced death, doesn’t compare dating women to cute puppies, but to a hungry Lion that will rip off you face at the flick of a claw.
@@BrennanHammons Not just you, bro. I think every guy who has had his heart destroyed by a woman he loved knows EXACTLY why that lioness metaphor was a perfect parable about keeping the binos and check and watching your target from a distance. Also, they made some fantastic advice about NOT searching, because there's 1000% chance of even more heartbreak around the corner if you're running around with emotional balls dangling in the wind.
I'm sorry guys but if you are comparing that to death then you are overblowing a lot this stuff, there's some real hardships out there that are orders of magnitude more demanding of your mental preparation
@@David-ni5hj lol I’ve learned to expect the disappointment and the sting but because I’m prepared for the failure it’s like water off the ducks back for me most of the time. And it’s all cordial, no ultra redpill anger towards the woman 😂😂 It’s more like a whatever 😂🤷🏾♂️
Thank you Jocko and Echo I needed to hear this. I got my data points straight and everything shows, that i just dodged a bullet ... even thou first i thought she might be the one. Love your podcast, thank you for your mentorship and lets get after it.
It’s pretty awesome that even though Jocko looks at relationships as military installments, he still sees something that’s meant to be will be meant to be. Be yourself, love life, and the rest falls into place.
Great advice! I'd add to it: don't limit yourself to dating one person at a time. Schedule multiple dates if you can and look for person who shows actual investment, avoid ones who constantly try to make you invest without reciprocity. It will also help lessen the pain of being ghosted/flaked on.
It takes getting burned one good time, and coming out alive and growing from it, to actually have a good handle on avoiding that mistake in the future. Everything he says is spot on but when you find “the one,” all that shit goes out the window, simply because you haven’t experienced the pain of it going wrong. No one can explain how bad it can get, and if they were able to you wouldn’t listen. “Sounds like crazy talk, wouldn’t happen to me.” “What do you do, Martin, when the bride who took your breath away, becomes the wife who makes you hold your breath in terror?” -heroin dude from that Netflix show.
"Must be familiar with open-bolt firearm safety and operation, able to execute a pincer movement attack, know standard tactical hand signals, must be able and willing to bug out off-grid when a potential threat reveals itself."
You know what, dudes got some really good points. In a lot of cases, we go into a relationship for the long term, expecting to be with this person forever. But we throw ourselves into it very quickly. We go off first impression and then ignore everything else. A relationship is a HUGE thing, especially if its for life, so we should really be taking the time to gather a lot more data, and assess the situation, before we throw ourselves into what could be a very bad thing. Gather you intel, make sure you've got the right target, then initiate the attack.
Earned a like in less than a minute. I made the same mistake. The only thing that saved me was 2 red flags and enough data points to realize we weren’t a good fit. And even then it can be challenging to still let go because of how cute and “nice to you” can put your thinking on hold. I’m glad I listened to my gut
I’ve been happily married for 12 years. Even being with someone compatible, who’s strengths benefit my weaknesses and vice versa, equally yoked, etc - marriage is freakin hard. Can’t imagine being married without all those things in our favor. This is superb advice. Hopefully lots of guys will hear it and actually apply it.
My last relationship ended up being with a girl who was a heroin and meth addict. Hid it well, but I sure as hell ignored every other red flag because "she was hot". Finished an entire bottle of jack the night we met on her own. That should have been enough for me to leave lol. We live and we learn fellas.
I learned to leave whiskey girls alone after my early 30's. Looking back, now I know if they can drink whiskey without making a face they've had some deep ass trauma and need to be left alone until they can no longer drink whiskey without making a face.
the only person who'd give relationship advice with ''lion mouth dripping blood'' metaphor. On a parallel universe you might be a marriage councelor XD
*"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature." - Marcus Aurelius*
"Hey Dad this guy I like at school is really cute and nice to me all the time but gets in trouble sometimes, he asked if we can go to the movies next week?" Jocko: "GATHER MORE DATA"
This is not the kind of advice you would give a young man looking to hook up with some baddies in his city. Jocko looks to be completely out of his depth on the CURRENT sexual marketplace but it's no surprise I think he's been married for a while.
@@kungfukenny8098 no it's actually the best advice you can give a young man...exercising dick discipline... To step back before jumping headfirst into every beautiful promiscuous, emotional wreck, or psychotic woman that he finds out there.
Before Jocko announced his decision of whom he chose to marry-and after assessing numerous data points of 15 potential wives-she immediately proposed to him.
I did the exact same mistake. Met a girl and she was cute & very nice to me & she even got my number. I was super happy and invested my time for her and it all felt great. We texted and I told a lot about myself but she never shared. Missed that red flag. All I know about her is that she's an alcoholic & smoker. Gradually she started to stop texting and that's it. I know by going behind her, I will lose my self respect and hence I stopped too. I was really disappointed and hurt quite a bit. Remember all these happened in 3 weeks. I wish I had watched this video just before that.
I’m glad I’m not the only person that had these same thoughts. Observe, gather more data before you commit, you’ll find out more about your person of interest than try to jump in blind, and take it slow than rush it! Enjoyed the other tips too!
Jocko has got flanked by Echo. The legit way. Back in the days it would be impossible to have a video like that here. But with the unmitigated discipline Echo massaged Jocko's ego and eventually aggressively led up the chain of command, and now we have videos about hugging and dating. Legit.
you're making a good point, it's frustrating to spend so much money on somebody before you get to really know them, gather some good information about the person before getting deep into relationship.
Jocko: I like you, lets go out. Woman: Sorry I have a boyfriend. Jocko: No factor. Woman: No fac-.. what? He'd be pissed to even see us talking. Jocko: Good. Woman: I don't even know how we would do this Jocko: Prioritize and execute 😏
Try 19 years ago long before TH-cam ever existed. Young guys take notes & be grateful to learn from someone else's mistakes, free of charge, without you having to get any deep 3rd degree burn marks.
I always say it takes atleast 6months to see someone’s true colours, people can hide who they are for quite a while, but they become comfortable after a certain amount of time and start breaking the front they been doing and you can be really surprised how much you dislike the real them. That’s why most young relationships only last about that long
Finding a good spouse nowadays is harder than going through BUDS with sand in your underwear... Just take your time and be smart about it... rushing into things is never a good idea.
@@bennymountain1 nah bro you standards are just low, trying to find a above average girl who hasnt had trains ran on her above the age of 18, is hard in urban areas.
Enjoy women on the short term for the pleasure. Commit and marry only if you believe you can stay married long enough to raise children to adulthood. Otherwise, don't have children if your marriage will fall apart in a decade. Consider long term relationships that do not involve marriage but is nevertheless beneficial - for example, a friendship or business relationship.
I like this. Some Navy Seals call this war gaming. Basically you have the battle simulations in your head before executing the plan. Know who you are, know what do to when you have to go on the defensive once in a while. Sometimes you'll have to do a tactical retreat if you notice a lot of red flags.
I have been so good at recognizing red flags, and instead of taking those into consideration... I jump on those flags like Im finishing a level in Super Mario💀
The "data point" discussion is especially something worth thinking about when you consider technology, internet and especially long distance relationships. A large chunk of the data points people receive today are much fuzzier than they used to be because the data comes from interactions done electronically where you're merely reading their deliberately chosen words -- not their inadvertent facial cues, body language, actions, etc. Your brain is left with no choice but to fill in the gaps so that it can turn a text message conversation into a memory with sight and sound, and that memory is going to be subject to all kinds of biases and embellishments.
Which is why you always trust someones text messages more when theyre angry/emotional compared to when theyre calm. Its incredibly easy to lie over text, but it gets much harder when youre not thinking before you type and hit send
Most people struggle with ignoring red flags and then getting hurt in relationships. However, there's also a thing to point out here too and that is, there are "red flags" and then there are things like "I've been hurt in the past but I learned and I grew from it" which to me isn't a red flag anymore if they actually show and demonstrate that personal growth. And it goes with what they are saying here, you have to take the time to gather more information, because some red flags that might cause someone to run away, is actually a life experience or lesson that they have learned from or moved on from. But I'd say most of the time it's the simple matter of "oh there's a red flag, let's get out of here" and only on the rare occasion do you get a "Oh that felt like a red flag, but this person actually moved on from it and healed or learned from it", now it's something from their past.
Needed this thanks you,,, I literally just married that girl, beautiful, psycho, alcohol, and crazy upbringing environment hahaha! Shit I need more advice. I can’t imagine not being present and accountable every second of every single day at this point! Coming from a place in which I have been extremely weak and allowed my self to be tempting and even controlled by substances and outside manipulation. No expectations, learn to be happy by myself.
![[TH] VCT Pacific - Playoffs Grand Final // PRX vs GEN](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/G345ud5yRGA/mqdefault.jpg)
Joko never dated women. He tactically matched himself with quality data options.
After assessing numerous data points of 15 potential mates to propagate the human species with, Jocko made his final decision.
Ha ha ha good one Mr. Crain
I'm dead😂
Mrs Willink about to throw down….
Ajaja
Jocko when he got rejected in the past :
"GOOD..."
It’s just another data point to base future decisions on.
Definitely going to say this when it happens 🤣
Ahahahaha. Top comment
“not a factor”
“Roger that”
"I'm not gifted. I'm not smarter than everybody else. I'm not stronger. I just have the ability to stick to a plan and not quit." That is so inspiring.
It's a gift though. It's called being driven.
It's a great way of rearticulating the old adage: success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.
1:09
"People aren't who you want them to be."
So true. Never forget this, collect data, analyze and be clear your decision is sound before entering the lion's den.
yeah. the problems can occur when u make excuses for them. like: oh her culture is high drama, give her a pass over n over, instead of: she is showing N.P.D. traits, for example.
yeah did the mistake never again you picture this perfect person in ur mind when in reality u can see all the red flags if you really look but you are too scared to look
@@cryptolicious3738 As Iraqi women, I think culture ruins the marriages in America. I see my brothers date American womens when we move here, they just work to hard outside like a man, so they don’t do well inside like a womans from Iraq. Not all womens are same, but culture important. In Iraq we have saying, inside first outside second, and women best inside the heart of man and inside home/family, and man best protecting from the outside and bring provision from outside in. Thats just nature. But American culture has denied that nature. So A woman brightens and shines the light in a mans heart, we are like a shining jewel, and a good wife will shine her light and brighten a mans heart, and the man will be driven to protect and provide for t he Jewel of the family, the wife and mother. This concept very important but unknown in American culture now.
True. I'm here because I was just mauled by a lioness.
Yup.
So apparently, Jocko raised both his parents. On his own as a single child.
He raised both his parents, on his own as an orphan.
Lol
Same lol
The turn tables
Both above his head
Guy: "Dude she was so fine..."
Jocko : "I know, I couldn't believe those data points."
I'm deaddd
Data points = 🅱️0️⃣0️⃣🅱️ or 🅰️💲💲
Her Data was off the Charts
I’m fucking loving these
😂
Jocko: "Lion scat."
Echo: "Hell yeah."
"People aren't who you want them to be." 🙌💥
Jocko's hairline isn't receding, it's tactically retreating
Jocko doesn’t get wrinkles, his skin just creates trenches
Haha
HAHAHAHALOL
COVER AND MOVE
Retrograding
“Hey Jocko, How do I get out of the friend zone?”
“Fire and maneuver”
Sometimes the friend zone is completely fubared if you haven’t already initiated the ambush early on. Probably best to break contact and consolidate at the PB
Move shoot communicate
Nah bro "speed, surprise and violence of action"
Honestly guys you’re right, nothing gets fixed without a high volume of suppressive fire, or jiu jitsu
Best comment
"Hey are you stalking me?" "Nah, I'm gathering data points"
"Jocko dating advice notes"
1.) Stay outside her cave and look for her scat.
2.) Jessica may be great... but acquire more data points. (Refer to point #1)
lmao
Only Jocko would metaphorically refer to dating as hunting a lion
Underrated comment.
If "data point" collection means that dating is equivalent to carrying out reconnaissance missions on a predator that could potentially rip out your larynx over who's paying for dinner, then marriage is equivalent to a protracted civil conflict lasting years if not decades.
I think Mr Willink would agree.
Or lioness🙄
@@Shelbymaldita You’re missing the point because you want your feelings validated.... grow up. Lion-lioness, same things.
@@Shelbymaldita 😂😂😂😂😂
So if I like a girl I should camp outside her house with binoculars
Better yet, get some spy gadgets, tap her house, put a tracker in her car, hack her phone/laptop/kindle/fitbit/Samsung tv/Amazon echo, and you should be fine.
LMAO Check
As long as you gather data points
Think that was pretty clear…
Uhmmm… I’m worried you guys didn’t fully grasp what he meant. Lmfao 🤣
In a strange way I'm glad I was once living with a girl with several red flags and I had fad flags of my own too, because I've learned a ton from it. I was in denial of my own passive aggression and manipulative behaviour thanks to a defensive ego. I justified her red flags because I was convinced the good qualities were worth consequences. Self-reflection has been key to my personal growth, and earning self-respect demands higher standards both FOR myself and OF myself.
Also, I was willing to be a masochist to be the knight in shining armor when no-one else was. I've learned to follow my head, not my heart; because if you follow your heart, your brain will make excuses, but if you follow your head, your heart will always keep you in check.
I recommend reading "the rational male" by Rollo Tomassi. Although I haven't read it myself there are many things I have learned from Rollo's podcast and from what I know most of what he preaches is writtenis put in book form.
@@dancole2994 this is exceptionally wise, thank you for sharing!
Yea fr I read that shit twice
It's very admirable how you are objective and fair in your analysis not shy to mention your own shortcomings. It's so true that we should always use these occasions as opportunities for growth.
Last night I was Tinderized: I was stood up for the first time, but she did send me to a nice restaurant. In response I ordered $150 dollars worth of food including two glasses of scotch and a glass of wine. It was healing to the fact that I stupidly believed her photos above all - with animated red hearts in my eyes - ignored all data points - a glaring language deficit, and mile wide gaps in her narrative. However, I gave business to the restaurant, tipped the staff, and I am glad that I did not get shot, kidnapped, tortured, and left for dead. Listen to the lion folks and be safe.
GOOD. Next time you’ll be more careful. Jokes aside hope you’re good bro sounds like you’ve dealt with it well
It's your fault you got stood up dawg, something you did was square af, like takin a bih to a nice dinner on the first date. That's trick shit G and if she did show up it was to get a free meal. You lose either way.
Oh no, he got stood up, world's smallest violin, lol. Shit happens, just eat and go hang out with friends or play videogames, whoopdee doo.
L
@@ojpimpson3343 Bro was actually tryna spend hundreds of dollars on a chick on the first date. L
My Ex-" You have Commitment Issues!!!!"
Me- "No, I have insufficient data points collected to make a thorough Cost-Benefit Analysis to determine if you'll rip my heart out."
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
How long did you date for?
This is brilliant
Underrated comment 😂😂😂💯
🤣
It is very on brand for Jocko to make an analogy to dating based off of a lion in a cave
🤣😂
💀
Guy: "any dating tips"
Jocko: "HAVE YOU EVER HAD YOUR LAYRNX SLASHED APART BY A LION, BLOOD DRIPPING FROM ITS MOUTH"
Guy: "wut"
I was lost during that explanation until the end and suddenly I realized this man just dropped some deep knowledge again.
at least it's not about bjj this time ^^'
I seriously wish I'd had Jocko's advice before I made the worst mistake of my life! Count up those data points and do NOT over-commit until you have substantially more data.
You'll save yourself a lot of grief and pain that way.
Met my wife on a blind date. 3.5 weeks later we were married. I did a little reconnaissance before the wedding and was impressed with her toughness and realized she might be able to deal with my bull. It turns out that she has made me a better man and a fairly decent husband. 24 years of marriage and a great daughter later and we still love each other.
I've seen people win betting numbers in roulette too. But I don't go around telling people to play roulette.
This is the equivalent of getting struck by lightning and getting super powers 💀
Bro, give me an inch of your luck and i'll win the next Lotterie....
If you’re looking for a woman who can “deal with your bull”, it’s probably best that you do some work on yourself before you get married. Idk why so many men say this same ridiculous line as if it’s endearing.
@@pawelallable he was just telling his story. He didn’t tell you to go out and marry someone after a few weeks.
Feel like Jocko conducts a legit After Action Review after having tactically clapped cheeks.
Underrated comment
Wait we shouldn't do that?
This is my favorite comment LOL
I am laughing so hard right now 😂
I can't wait to whisper to my gf tonight "your cheeks have been tactically clapped." Tysm bro lmao
What I was expecting :
"Hey Jocko, how do we woo women ?"
"Do Jiu Jitsu"
Was looking for this comment 😂
Flexibility, hip dexterity, and good technique are very important
@@tjdavis56 Is it me , or does every position in Jiu Jitsu look like a sex position ?
@@Hamasvard_University it's all about versatility.
Jiu Jitsu is actually a great place to meet women if you don't mind getting choked out a couple times before the first date...
OMG, it took a Navy Seal Officer to finally make sense to me. Love the no bullshit approach. Wish found this video sooner, would have saved myself lots of trouble and heartbreak. This is my new gospel on dating effectively. LOVE IT
The Hot vs. Crazy Matrix Dating Data Metrics Analysis from your friends at Tactical Response: th-cam.com/video/pInk1rV2VEg/w-d-xo.html
As a data analyst, who’s “actively” dating in a big city jungle, I’d say military maneuvers about collecting data and moving tactically can be applied. I collect data and read flags all the time! Hunting is a good metaphor for this search for mate, as there are definitely predators at all levels. You may not want to be a predator, but definitely you don’t want to be a prey.
Word
but if I am the prey, don't I get ask out than which is even easier for me?@@liyuche2695
Facts
In Jocko’s wedding vows he definitely explained that he gathered multiple data points
It was just a brief
“Okay, so here’s the deal: I found this girl, she was like, a 10 out of 10 in the looks category. After some additional surveillance I collected more data points, it was enough to take one tiny move…ask her out. And after even more data collection, the mission is a Go. Time to tactically slip a wedding band on her finger and utter the words…’I do’…check. Mission accomplished, you’re dismissed.” *priest leaves*
"She was nice to you at that moment." Words every man needs to figure out at some point. ..hopefully much sooner than later!!!
Yup
I realized I've been trying too hard with a girl at my church. Gotta hang back a bit. Chill out.
You have no idea how much time and energy is inappropriately invested trying to turn moments into a commitment in the minds of individuals. More men than women, but it's a real human tendency
My "red flag" advice to my son was this: Try driving through a city whilst she map reads the directions. If you can survive that without trying to kill her, then the relationship has a future.
My university graduate son said, in reply to my sage advice, "what's a map?"
There is only so much you can do for them.😂🤣😂
I feel like thats more compatibility test than red flags. A red flag test would be more like having her give directions, intentionally having a hard time following them and seeing how she reacts
Once we lose the art & skill of cartography we will be lost forever….literally.
Summary of key points:
Get to know what someone is like before you get too emotionally invested in them or place them atop a pedestal they may or may not deserve. Notice good aspects of them and red flags
Don’t look back on past opportunities/experiences
Trust that it’ll work if it’s “supposed to”
Take your time, “take it easy”
Keeping your head clear, while intoxicated by emotions, is a skill that needs to be developed like any other.
Impossible!
@@marge3477 not if you don't have emotions
@@marge3477 It's possible, just breathe deeply into your belly, acknowledge your emotions, keep them at the back of your head, but also allow space for your judgement and conciousness to shine through. Mindfulness and CBT therapy can help you with this. You CANNOT get rid of the emotions, only accept and move past them. If you attempt to shut them down you will shut down emotions in other parts of your life, and life will start to lose its edge, its beauty, and its meaning.
Lmao throw alcohol in the mix and that's fucking impossible 😂
Well said!
This is comical yet great advice
yep biggest mistake guys make and i was like that as well is when you get to excited, and girls smell that you are desperate and they lose attraction for you, BIG mistake
@@mentoriii3475 if you are desperate, it means you think they are better than you.
The goal is to see yourself as the prize.
@@mentoriii3475 was talking to this chick for a month, right? the first three weeks I was kinda suspicious of it, walking the boundries. She always seemed super interested, always excited to talk and such, then the last week I started letting my guard down, got just a tiny bit excited, accepting it as a possibility. Then her energy completely changed. I instantly recognized it too. She got distant, didnt wanna talk as much anymore. Knew it was only a matter of time before I got the "Im not looking for anything serious while contradicting myself" message.
Ive definitely grown alot cause of how I reacted to that instance versus previous situations. So Im just out here chillin again.
@@50shadesofcerakote we all have been there, were lucky we have people like jocko to guide us, these tips are tips our fathers should give us but instead they chose the never talk bad to women, always apologize even if she is wrong
Jessica?
The bit about only hyper focusing on the good “data points” and ignoring the bad are so simple but so true. When I first watched this almost a year ago, because of where I was at with a potential “partner” it was like a eureka moment for me, and I quickly moved past it.
Like a father to the many souls who struggle and suffer. Rationality, logic and integrity. Thank you, Jocko.
I would love to hear Jocko's wife opinion on dating.
Ditto
3
I’ve never seen his wife, but wouldn’t it be funny if she was just a female version of him? Or completely polar opposite? Free spirit hippy type hahaha
he told u brah he said he navy she was like "ok" he said he SEAL she was like "I do"
Jocko's wife: "You know he looked like a dumb guy but as I got to know him better he's actually not."
Hilarious that Combat Veteran Jocko who has faced death, doesn’t compare dating women to cute puppies, but to a hungry Lion that will rip off you face at the flick of a claw.
Probably because a heartbreak can be up there with the pain of death, at least to me.
@@BrennanHammons Not just you, bro. I think every guy who has had his heart destroyed by a woman he loved knows EXACTLY why that lioness metaphor was a perfect parable about keeping the binos and check and watching your target from a distance. Also, they made some fantastic advice about NOT searching, because there's 1000% chance of even more heartbreak around the corner if you're running around with emotional balls dangling in the wind.
I'm sorry guys but if you are comparing that to death then you are overblowing a lot this stuff, there's some real hardships out there that are orders of magnitude more demanding of your mental preparation
@@David-ni5hj lol I’ve learned to expect the disappointment and the sting but because I’m prepared for the failure it’s like water off the ducks back for me most of the time. And it’s all cordial, no ultra redpill anger towards the woman 😂😂 It’s more like a whatever 😂🤷🏾♂️
@@BrennanHammons beta male 💩 lmaooo you can’t be serious
Thank you Jocko and Echo I needed to hear this. I got my data points straight and everything shows, that i just dodged a bullet ... even thou first i thought she might be the one. Love your podcast, thank you for your mentorship and lets get after it.
Broo that last point about not forcing things, just saved me right now 💪🏻
"lets stay outside the cave"
- Jocko talking about women
underrated comment for sure
Because Jacko is not thinking the mission is to get into the cave. He knows the mission is to stay alive and find suitable habitation.
But I thought the goal was to enter the cave..
@@amrg211 nope this is why we fail. The goal is to find a safe cave.
@@grantarmbruster6591 sheeeet that's deep (no pun)
Never ask a fish for advice on how to catch it.
~ Patrice O’Neal
Would be a pleasure seeing Patrice on this podcast. Rip
Will always upvote a Patrice O’Neal quote rip
ask the fisher"men" who have caught "the keepers"
Isaiah 53 👀
John 16:33
Other fishermen will not tell you how to catch the big fish ,just some small ones ,to avoid competition .
Seeing a Patrice quote here made my day. Salute to you sir
It’s pretty awesome that even though Jocko looks at relationships as military installments, he still sees something that’s meant to be will be meant to be. Be yourself, love life, and the rest falls into place.
Great advice! I'd add to it: don't limit yourself to dating one person at a time. Schedule multiple dates if you can and look for person who shows actual investment, avoid ones who constantly try to make you invest without reciprocity. It will also help lessen the pain of being ghosted/flaked on.
As a single dude, this can't be anymore spot on. I've even seen the red flags and ignored them because of the first 2 data points!😂
Unfortunatly I become tottaly blind to red flags when I m interested in someone. The rose glasses and infatuation win the battle.
It takes getting burned one good time, and coming out alive and growing from it, to actually have a good handle on avoiding that mistake in the future. Everything he says is spot on but when you find “the one,” all that shit goes out the window, simply because you haven’t experienced the pain of it going wrong. No one can explain how bad it can get, and if they were able to you wouldn’t listen. “Sounds like crazy talk, wouldn’t happen to me.”
“What do you do, Martin, when the bride who took your breath away, becomes the wife who makes you hold your breath in terror?”
-heroin dude from that Netflix show.
@@AM-px2oz thank you so much. It happened months ago and still hurts me like hell. Cheers from Brazil.
I'm cool until after the first date goes well then I totally do the "oMG sHe'sS thE BesT" lmao, good advice here
@@AM-px2oz That's a Great Ozark reference! 👏
lol I imagine Jocko's dating profile saying something like, looking for a tactical an efficient woman.
"Must be familiar with open-bolt firearm safety and operation, able to execute a pincer movement attack, know standard tactical hand signals, must be able and willing to bug out off-grid when a potential threat reveals itself."
"Message me for setting an empirical data-gathering procedure at Joe's Coffeeshop"
Using this as my Tinder/Bumble bio😂
With positive Data points
You know what, dudes got some really good points. In a lot of cases, we go into a relationship for the long term, expecting to be with this person forever. But we throw ourselves into it very quickly. We go off first impression and then ignore everything else.
A relationship is a HUGE thing, especially if its for life, so we should really be taking the time to gather a lot more data, and assess the situation, before we throw ourselves into what could be a very bad thing.
Gather you intel, make sure you've got the right target, then initiate the attack.
Earned a like in less than a minute. I made the same mistake. The only thing that saved me was 2 red flags and enough data points to realize we weren’t a good fit. And even then it can be challenging to still let go because of how cute and “nice to you” can put your thinking on hold.
I’m glad I listened to my gut
I’ve been happily married for 12 years. Even being with someone compatible, who’s strengths benefit my weaknesses and vice versa, equally yoked, etc - marriage is freakin hard. Can’t imagine being married without all those things in our favor. This is superb advice. Hopefully lots of guys will hear it and actually apply it.
@@cory8242 lol tool
equally yoked lmao
@@brodiemcgrath7741 it’s a Biblical concept. Works for us man, you do you if you think it’ll work out better.
@@Bobsonomatic I was referring to the guy trying to make fun of your statement but his rude remark isn't there anymore
@@TheCaminoGuide damn bruh for real? No way out?.....not even....death?
"The better it can be, the worse it can be" Echo Charles. Big facts bro
Great video. I came into it with some trepidation but wish I had seen this 2 years ago. Better later than never though. Thanks Jocko!
My last relationship ended up being with a girl who was a heroin and meth addict. Hid it well, but I sure as hell ignored every other red flag because "she was hot". Finished an entire bottle of jack the night we met on her own. That should have been enough for me to leave lol. We live and we learn fellas.
I learned to leave whiskey girls alone after my early 30's. Looking back, now I know if they can drink whiskey without making a face they've had some deep ass trauma and need to be left alone until they can no longer drink whiskey without making a face.
@@daemonwulfe Good advice my man!
the only person who'd give relationship advice with ''lion mouth dripping blood'' metaphor. On a parallel universe you might be a marriage councelor XD
Maybe he was talking about a divorce situation, if you see that someone destroyed their partner’s life-it is something you should think about first.
An intense marriage counselor 😂
That's pretty subtle compared to the analogies in my single dad FB groups.
There is a universe out there where a lioness is on a podcast talking how to collect data and date a jocko willink in the wild
*"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature." - Marcus Aurelius*
Really needed to hear this in my life right now. Perfect timing💯
Omg Jessica 🤣 that hits so close to home right now 😭 Ive done the "ignoring data points" before, this video almost exactly explains my situation 😭
"Hey Dad this guy I like at school is really cute and nice to me all the time but gets in trouble sometimes, he asked if we can go to the movies next week?"
Jocko: "GATHER MORE DATA"
“and when you realize someone isn’t who you thought the were…..”
🤣😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣
"FLANK HIM. THEN TAKE HIM DOWN WITH AN ARMLOCK. INITIATE KISSING. PHASE 1 - DONE"
Not a thumbnail I expected to see on a Jocko video 😂😂
Ikr
Ecko getting wild
@@tuningsnow he's trolling Jocko
Is she a model? What's her name
Chris J juliana wetmore
Def on point, I fall too easily. Now I’m gonna learn to gather data, and guard my heart. Until proven.
Top content as always from Jocko. Cheers.
This is a very centralized,based,and logical approach to dating.Simple,and true. Pure Jocko material.Pure GOLD.
based on what
Take the emotions out of it, they are not important 😂
This is not the kind of advice you would give a young man looking to hook up with some baddies in his city. Jocko looks to be completely out of his depth on the CURRENT sexual marketplace but it's no surprise I think he's been married for a while.
@@kungfukenny8098 no it's actually the best advice you can give a young man...exercising dick discipline... To step back before jumping headfirst into every beautiful promiscuous, emotional wreck, or psychotic woman that he finds out there.
Based on fucking what?
Jocko never went on a date. He met his wife because he proposed after he found more data points
Before Jocko announced his decision of whom he chose to marry-and after assessing numerous data points of 15 potential wives-she immediately proposed to him.
@@jzen1455 but only because she had 30 data points for at least 10 different men
🤣🤣😂
@@jzen1455 🤣🤣🤣
Jocko just delivered an SPSS visualization content analysis of his womans' ethnography, with an argument for further teamwork
Basically: "Don't sleep with crazy. Learn to spot crazy in advance."
Good stuff. I really enjoyed this because I normally would never watch a video on this topic. Well done.
Hot Girl: how come you dont want to f me?
Jocko: you wake up at 7:30am
Jocko didn't ask girls if they will sleep with him, but if they will wake up with him.
But, uh, that's how long his wife sleeps. Or more.
insufficient data
This might be my favorite one
No waterboarding on the first date.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Solid rule
We need more of this!
I did the exact same mistake. Met a girl and she was cute & very nice to me & she even got my number. I was super happy and invested my time for her and it all felt great. We texted and I told a lot about myself but she never shared. Missed that red flag. All I know about her is that she's an alcoholic & smoker. Gradually she started to stop texting and that's it. I know by going behind her, I will lose my self respect and hence I stopped too. I was really disappointed and hurt quite a bit. Remember all these happened in 3 weeks. I wish I had watched this video just before that.
Jocko’s son: “Jesus Christ, dad, I just asked your opinion on Jessyca!!!”
*Sigh* Good
"They get one data point and go."
That's true of Sailors in general lol.
Hey man, that’s hurtful, true but hurtful🥲
I’m glad I’m not the only person that had these same thoughts. Observe, gather more data before you commit, you’ll find out more about your person of interest than try to jump in blind, and take it slow than rush it! Enjoyed the other tips too!
I always wanted dating advice from Jocko thankful for this!
I wish I saw this 4 years ago man... would have saved myself some serious heartache. These guys are awesome.
Jocko mimicking a woman's voice "What do you do?" 😂💀
🤣🤣🤣
i need timestamp or I'll forever regret it 😂
@@akashaggarwal3041 7:04
I needed/need this. Thank you.
Never has this topic been explained so well - this is just brilliant!
Jocko has got flanked by Echo. The legit way. Back in the days it would be impossible to have a video like that here. But with the unmitigated discipline Echo massaged Jocko's ego and eventually aggressively led up the chain of command, and now we have videos about hugging and dating. Legit.
"Oh cool, good to see that. Now I didn't lose my larynx".
🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂
I love how humble Echo is. He looks like a beast but then comes across as a well-mannered gentleman.
you're making a good point, it's frustrating to spend so much money on somebody before you get to really know them, gather some good information about the person before getting deep into relationship.
"Jessica" was the girl that brought me to Jaco. She was a every good reason to listen to him…….
Bro same here, those Jessicas man hahaha.
Glad I’m not the only one dealing with a Jessica right now😂
Muy god i thought i was the only one
Jocko: I like you, lets go out.
Woman: Sorry I have a boyfriend.
Jocko: No factor.
Woman: No fac-.. what? He'd be pissed to even see us talking.
Jocko: Good.
Woman: I don't even know how we would do this
Jocko: Prioritize and execute 😏
GOLD
Solid gold
So funny 🤣 I love it
Read good in his voice
Boyfriend finds out - Jocko: Roger, cover and move! - The dichotomy of love
Dude, the wave analogy is beyond perfect.
Dope podcast. More of this please?
Wish I heard this 19 months ago. Better late than never
9 years for me. Better late than never.
Try 19 years ago long before TH-cam ever existed.
Young guys take notes & be grateful to learn from someone else's mistakes, free of charge, without you having to get any deep 3rd degree burn marks.
I always say it takes atleast 6months to see someone’s true colours, people can hide who they are for quite a while, but they become comfortable after a certain amount of time and start breaking the front they been doing and you can be really surprised how much you dislike the real them. That’s why most young relationships only last about that long
This is so true! Great advice for anyone!
Glad I came across this. About to reenter the dating pool. Some solid advice.
Finding a good spouse nowadays is harder than going through BUDS with sand in your underwear...
Just take your time and be smart about it... rushing into things is never a good idea.
So we all might as well try out for a SOF unit at this point lol
sand shaved balls... those were the days, werent they :>
For you, maybe.
@@bennymountain1 nah bro you standards are just low, trying to find a above average girl who hasnt had trains ran on her above the age of 18, is hard in urban areas.
Enjoy women on the short term for the pleasure. Commit and marry only if you believe you can stay married long enough to raise children to adulthood. Otherwise, don't have children if your marriage will fall apart in a decade. Consider long term relationships that do not involve marriage but is nevertheless beneficial - for example, a friendship or business relationship.
Where was Jocko when I was in HS? Could've saved me a ALOT of heart ache.
Oh that's right, he was getting some.
I like this. Some Navy Seals call this war gaming. Basically you have the battle simulations in your head before executing the plan. Know who you are, know what do to when you have to go on the defensive once in a while. Sometimes you'll have to do a tactical retreat if you notice a lot of red flags.
The wanting to ride the wave and not crashing in the ship on the sea . Good one mate
I have been so good at recognizing red flags, and instead of taking those into consideration... I jump on those flags like Im finishing a level in Super Mario💀
Red flags make the heart beat faster.
The "data point" discussion is especially something worth thinking about when you consider technology, internet and especially long distance relationships. A large chunk of the data points people receive today are much fuzzier than they used to be because the data comes from interactions done electronically where you're merely reading their deliberately chosen words -- not their inadvertent facial cues, body language, actions, etc. Your brain is left with no choice but to fill in the gaps so that it can turn a text message conversation into a memory with sight and sound, and that memory is going to be subject to all kinds of biases and embellishments.
Which is why you always trust someones text messages more when theyre angry/emotional compared to when theyre calm. Its incredibly easy to lie over text, but it gets much harder when youre not thinking before you type and hit send
Most people struggle with ignoring red flags and then getting hurt in relationships. However, there's also a thing to point out here too and that is, there are "red flags" and then there are things like "I've been hurt in the past but I learned and I grew from it" which to me isn't a red flag anymore if they actually show and demonstrate that personal growth. And it goes with what they are saying here, you have to take the time to gather more information, because some red flags that might cause someone to run away, is actually a life experience or lesson that they have learned from or moved on from. But I'd say most of the time it's the simple matter of "oh there's a red flag, let's get out of here" and only on the rare occasion do you get a "Oh that felt like a red flag, but this person actually moved on from it and healed or learned from it", now it's something from their past.
Needed this thanks you,,, I literally just married that girl, beautiful, psycho, alcohol, and crazy upbringing environment hahaha! Shit I need more advice. I can’t imagine not being present and accountable every second of every single day at this point! Coming from a place in which I have been extremely weak and allowed my self to be tempting and even controlled by substances and outside manipulation. No expectations, learn to be happy by myself.
The banter between you two is always... GOOD. 🤣
Lol the end part of this clip is hilarious. Lol hahaha Echo is such a humble guy man..
I needed that. Thanks
Maan, me and my girlfriend's boyfriend were suprised by this video so much.
😄😄
Hold up...
"Let's say you see some lion scat outside"
"Hell yeah"
Scatman
subscribed; great timing my lord
Hahahhahah I love how Echo and Jocko go back and forth like that, thats so cool
Thanks for the good advise