Metaphor, Gwyndolin, and the Transgender Experience
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Writing on games “Dark Souls Helped Me Cope With Suicidal Depression”: • Dark Souls Helped Me C...
Nakey Jakey “Dark Souls Saved Me”: • Dark Souls Saved Me
Dodging Pancakes “Depression and a game called Dark Souls”: • Depression and a game ...
The Game Overanalyzer “How Dark Souls Confronts Depression”: • How Dark Souls Confron...
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As someone who has experienced a lot of depression the idea of hollowing is one that has always helped me. In the Dark Souls universe giving up, losing the will to move forward, losing sight of yourself, losing what gives you meaning is the only thing that kills the undead. The fact that the community has adopted the phrase, “Don’t you dare go hollow.” Or a similar phrases has always moved me and in the right circumstances often makes me cry. It’s a similar kind of happy-sad, moved in a way that is difficult to describe, that I get from No Man’s Sky’s refrain of, “You are not alone.”
I appreciate your videos, this one in particular as a fellow trans woman. I hope you keep creating, especially video essays.
Don’t you dare go hollow.
Dark Souls never cured my depression. It actually made me more depressed, and that's good. It forced me to confront why I am so sad about the impermanence of things, why the ultimate forgetfulness of history makes me refuse to act in life, why the ash & dust at the end of humanity stops me from living today.
The luminous darkness. The painful joy of knowing that a total sacrifice will bring life back to the world and make souls to flourish anew, but that it will perpetuate the curse of firelinking. The Lord Souls being the very embers that emanated from the principle of life in the first place, and the only fuel that will truly keep it going, is captivating. The burden of light, the curious peacefulness of dark, the twisting of assumed opposites. What if our nature was always to try to keep the flame lit, even if it harms us? What if we cannot but oppose the dark, even though it is our deepest self?
Dark Souls (especially 2, with Aldia & Vendrick) helped me realise that fire (light, religion, philosophy, music, science) and dark (uncertainty, emotion, chaos, madness, lack of control) are not essential opposites but in perpetual mutual synergy in the heart of man. The "true shape of mankind" is impossible to see without fire and dark. And there is no path beyond their reach and scope.
Thanks to Dark Souls, I have embraced all things, and I reject nothing in this world anymore. No mode of living, no hope, no despair, no love, no hate, is alien to me. I will always be depressed, but I know that I am part of a vast firelinking curse, of a potential darkness, that can allow for a sacred duty fulfilled, and also for a hollowing in an obscure, unremarkable, oddly gentle place. It will all have turned out to be the same in the end.
Not trans myself, nor particularly interested in trans philosophy or identity. Gwyndolin being influenced (possibly by Seath) pre-birth into a moon affinity says more to me about religion and association between moon-female ("Dark Moon") and sun-male across cultures (though contradicted by ancient Germanic religion) than about gender identity per se, but whatever. Still interesting.
Great video. Two points I'd add that make everything a bit more convoluted are the unreliability of the in game narrators and Gwyndolin's loyalty to Gwyn.
I think the narrative of Dark Souls 1 is intentionally unreliable. From characters trying to deceive us ("The legand of Artorias art none but a fabrication") to the semmingly omniscient person behind the item descriptions who still leaves questions open, we do not really have a narrative we can trust. I think this was also the intention by Miyazaki, who wanted us to piece the story together.
With that said, I suppose we can never be sure what exactly Gwyndolin's identity is, right? It is never explicitly stated what exactly Gwyndolin identifies as by himself. But I still think it's best to go off what we do have given, which are item descriptions and the he/him pronouns. I think it would be disingenuous to not use he/him pronouns when that is all that we have to go off. Why even assume that Gwyndolin would go by exactly she/her even if he identified as a woman? Not only is he/him a perfectly valid thing to use then anyway but plenty of other pronouns are feminiely coded, like fae/faer. So the only two ways to go about his pronouns in a fair way, is to use the he/him pronouns given by the narrator, or to default to they/them if you think that the narrator is being disingenuous.
There is also the question of Gwyndolin's loyalty to his father. It seems like Gwyndolin loves his father and has a lot of admiration for him. He does guard his tomb after all. So it does make me wonder, if Gwyndolin was (wrongfully) raised as a daughter, would he keep this identity just because of his deep admiration for his father? Or was Gwyn's death finally the release of the shackles of the identity placed upon him and he was able to freely live his life as a man from that point on? I feel like the latter also lends itself to a very meta storytelling. Gwyndolin is guarding the tomb exactly because it is now his free choice to do so, not because he is forced to anymore. I relate to this. It sounds gruesome but I did feel a sense of relief when my transphobic grandmother died and I was able to live my life more freely, even though I never wished anything bad upon her, I was there for her when she fell ill and I attended her funeral.
Oh and fun fact, there is a good chance that y'all already know that Gwyndolin/Gwendolin is a feminine Welsh name. But maybe it's interesting for some here to know that Gwyndolin goes by "Wendolin" in the German tranlation, which is a German name of a male saint, the saint of sheep.
Audio quality was just fine, no worries there. You talk a little faster than I can keep up with but I think that's a me problem. I've seen so many different takes on Gwyndolin's gender identity from a trans woman saying "Gwyndolin is a trans woman being misgendered by the flavor text" to a cis man saying "Gwyndolin represents an alchemical concept of divine wholeness" that I don't even know what to think anymore. I'm just gonna say "they" because I'm not even sure if From Soft is sure. Japanese doesn't have gendered 3rd person pronouns (you can say "that man" or "that woman" but 3rd person pronouns are gender neutral) so the flavor text is subject to how the translator thinks of Gwyndolin. The complexity of Gwyndolin's character is what makes them truly special to me though and I think DS is a much, much better game for their inclusion. Thanks for making this video. I'm always happy to get more LBGTQ+ content in my YT feed.
I think the thing that really seals Gwyndolin being a "he" for me is the Gwynevere illusion, which he created, calling him brother. Iirc the Japanese text uses the word that literally translates to brother. I'm not sure why he would make his fake sister misgender him lol.
i looked at the japanese wiki and the item description for gwyndolins shirt says “娘として育てられた彼” which means “he (who) was raised as a daughter” (彼 is he, 彼女 is she, 彼ら is they)!!!
@@solarpellets *blinks* oh my Gwynn that should have been really obvious in retrospect, you're much more observant than me! thanks for the video!!
4:20 You just rekindled my desire to beat Malenia by myself. Which will probably lead to overcoming more real life challenges. Thank you.
im a trans man and im really so happy to see someone else (best of all a trans woman!!!) who actually “gets” gwyndolin. like… if he was a girl why would he make the gwynevere illusion call him brother😭 it’s soooo frustrating to see some people ignore the fact that he was FORCED to live as a woman, just bc they wish they had been raised that way… 😵💫 loved the ds challenge runs and this video essay too! can’t wait to see what you do next :D
I completely forgot the gwynevere illusion called him brother, that's such a good point omg
I'm glad you enjoyed! I do my best lol
I feel like the game is very explicit in saying that he was forced to act like a woman, people who didn't get it are morons.
When does the illusion call him brother? I never got that dialogue
I know Yorshka called him brother though
@@kalaveet4649 i think i actually imagined it at the time of writing the comment 😥 might have mixed it up w yorshka
This video has been interesting to watch and think about. I look foreword to see how gender is toyed with in the Elden Ring DLC with the Miquella/St Trina, Marika/Radagon dichotomies.
On a side note, before becoming a game designer, Miyazaki studied to be a sociologist- so it's really interesting how sociological theory informs his storytelling.
I'm very glad someone is actually acknowledging Gwyndolin, he deserves the recognition.
This video is so real to me, at least in my case. I'm also a transgender woman, who played Dark Souls when I was still a cis male teen. Like a lot of people, it ended up being something that my mind came back to when suicidal depression hit me harder and harder, and the way I thought about its subtext not only helped me through it but also in part allowed me to find my passion for narrative analysis in all of its glory. Well, it and The Elder Scrolls, the latter also has a character whose gender is as complex to fully ascertain as it is to learn the whole of the series' lore.
I have yet to watch the essay you mentioned in the beginning. If it's any similar to how I think about that same idea (the separation of metaphor and text), I can't help but see the major reason for the textual focus of the stories as mostly perpetuated by bad faith actors. And I wouldn't personally say Vaati has participated in this wholesale, not that that's what you imply, but it doesn't help he hasn't really spoken about the lore through his own personal muses. In a way, you can view our own anecdotal experiences with the games as subnarratives within the stories, and that seems to be the intention. They help to connect the textual and metaphorical without overshadowing the other in the same beautiful way you put it here.
This is exactly why I love posting essays like this, hearing other people's thoughts and experiences is so fascinating and fulfilling to me. I meant this video as a take on art, almost exclusively, and seeing how you, among others, understand it in so many different ways is super cool to me.
That's the beauty of passion and intellectual honesty. Writing essays and getting to pool your knowledge and experiences together with others is what makes this all so fun. @@solarpellets
Hi, fellow trans lady who wouldn't be alive without dark souls here! I really loved the video, but I think you discount non male readings of Gwyndolin a bit too much. I think the entire point of Gwyndolin is ambiguity and the falling apart of binaries. The snack covenant has a really great episode on this called fire and binaries. To keep things short Gwyn's first 2 children are a hyper masculine god of war and a hyper feminine goddess of beauty but his last born, one closer to the fading of the flame, is Gwyndolin a character that gets defined by ambiguity in everything he does in lore. From illusion magic to running the blades of the darkmoon. I also think theres ambiguity in the "born a man yet rasied a woman" part of his lore. That could just as easily be read as Gwyndolin being a trans man. (my personal favorite reading). Gwyndolin is a character almost designed to be an unknown. Playing with ambiguity in gender is also not some exclusive to Gwyndolin in fromsofts catalog, Theres Radagon/Marika, Miquella/St Trina, Things betwixt in ds2 pretty being a womb and you can change your characters sex there and theres all the gender/body stuff going on in bloodborne.
I like that reading, it's interesting and I like the language around it for sure. I find my reading more plausible for literally no reason, it just makes sense to me and I like its message lol. I guess I should've focused more on the "you change your reading of art" like I did with the "art has an effect on you
Heyyyyy another ex-christian trans woman who's super into souls games! So glad to have found you
I loved Lemon's speech at the end of the immolation only run. Also found a bit of solace hearing about your experience in development & interest in philosophy. You are not alone, as am I. Going through this first portion of my life as assumed & expected, I seek my transition. For I have already developed my temperament in understanding & compassion, I now wish to blossom in my appreciation of emotion. Had I fully understood my options sooner, I fear, I may not have come to understand myself as I do now.
TH-cam put one of your videos on my recommended page and im so glad it did. I too am an ex Christian trans girl, and its nice to have a creator that is so easy to connect to. Thank you for your insight and your great videos!
That's part of why I started making stuff in the first place. I didn't relate to much content in a super significant way, so I just started making my own lol
Gwyndolin is not trans, wtf
Gwyndolin was forced by his father to act like a woman because he was born under the moon influence
Him being trans would ruin the entire thing wtf
Not to mention that he's referred to as a man
He was raised as a woman just as I was raised as a man. He transitioned later in life to be what he wasn't raised as, same as me. That's pretty trans.
"...forcing yourself to comply to the artist's vision instead of exercising your ability to interpret art in a way that fits you is an exercise in futility and dullness."
I disagree, but I also have never felt this vulnerable so of course it is understandable that one may begin to seek out affirmation in things like media.
I think you misunderstand what I mean by that line. I've always done that, before and after my transition. It's not that I crave affirmation, I'm sure in myself, I mean that you necessarily interpret art based on your experience, it's impossible not to. You cannot objectively experience art, as it exists to illicit emotion, and emotion is volatile and unique to the individual. That subjective experience is stronger for some, while others attempt to comply with the artists vision, but I believe you can get so much more out of art if you recognize the artist's vision and also explore the art as yourself, explore what emotions it can and does make you feel, all of that. My point in that line is that it's impossible to do otherwise, it's boring to try, so just enjoy the art.
If you read interviews with Miyazaki (the director of dark souls, not the inventor of anime) he has said during his childhood he read many Western story books in a medieval setting but his understanding of English was poor so he interpreted the details he couldn't translate himself to keep the story going. So in the case of dark souls interpreting character and story details from the limited information presented is complying with the artist's vision.
With that being said there would be little point to art if you rule out subjective interpretation. Because it's half the bloody point. A good story will resonate with people's experiences and emotions. I don't think you're wrong to say people "seek affirmation in media". I do however think it ignores the fact that artists create media to provide affirmations of the human experience.
Curious why you disagree? Subjective examination and interpretation of art is pretty much fundamental to media literacy. I dont think it comes from any kind of vulnerability, it comes from gaps in the text (something Dark Souls is, quite famously, full of) and the readers own subjective life experiences. This is a very rich field of conversation, what makes you deny it so wholeheartedly?
great and concise. thank you miss pallet 🙂
This video makes no sense. It's just a male character forced to believe he is a woman, or at the very least heavily influenced so. A boy playing with dolls or wearing pink or any other socially conventional female trait does not make that child suddenly trans, nor does it prove their curiosity for transitioning or show their struggle to find identity. Gwyndolin, as I'm glad you agree, is a male and should be referred to as such. I dont understand what the point of this video is since you agree yourself Gwyndolin is not trans at all. It doesn't pose any existential questions about identity or the trans community, and your experiences and interpretations are completely different from the vast majority of players.
false
gender is not decided by sex, in real life or in the game. In real life, your agab is decided based on your sex, however, in the game that's clearly not true. In the game, your agab is very clearly decided by your affinities, not actions. It's not that Gwyndolin was playing with moon magic and Gwyn said "that's my girl!" Gwyndolin had an affinity for the moon and was presumed to be a woman, just like how if someone is born female, it's also presumed that they're a girl in real life. Gwyndolin was considered a woman, is now a man, that's trans.
@@solarpellets What do you mean "is now a man" at what point did Gwyndolin become a man? He was born as such?
@@cyn7261He was very clearly born into womanhood. He was raised as a woman, not a man. There's no reason to think he was (socially, of course) a man before.
@@solarpellets Doesn't change his biology. He was born a man and was indoctrinated to fit Gwyn's desires
I liked this video
This was an incredible video to dedicate my time to. Thank you for sharinf your experience honestly and vividly, there were a lot of things i related to. Gwyndolin, in the heteronormative binary and regurgitated, for lack of a better word, gaming world is such a shining dark moon star for us to look upon and contemplate! Lets not forget, a prodigy of illusion so what the hell can we really know.
The comment section is a boiling kettle, but there is a bunch of love here as well, so im happy. Please continue doing juicy essay videos like this! Xoxox
Hearts out to you sis, I feel like there’s probably a lot of gender queer characters in souls games, sure I don’t know much about the series but Gwendolyn being an important character in one game (I have so far not played but eh) and also Marika and Radagon in Eldenring being one person I bet there’s a lot to be read into with that as well. Much love, a trans girl from Austria :3
I actually forgot about Marika, that's a really interesting one to dive into, I might have to look into that one. I can't think of any other gender queer characters, though, at least not off the top of my head. I suppose you could read Rya that way, but I feel like that might be a disservice to... Well, a lot of things lol
Don’t forget about the coffin in DS2 that changes your gender lol
Yo I thought you were just a blooming Dark Souls challenge runner, you didn't tell me you were based as hell too. V glad I subbed. Big fan.
Thanks for the breakdown on Gwyndolin foxy~ I loved hearing your explanation on how you perceive him, why you relatef to him, what changed and really your feelings on.datk souls as a whole. It's really endearing and inspiring to hear this piece on perseverance and growth!
Regardless of what you think Gwyndolin's identity is, I think you have to be willfully ignorant to not see him as some sort of commentary on gender identity in some way.
I personally both really enjoy the idea of Gwyndolin being a transman or being gender noncomforming. I think it says a lot about Gwyn's character that he believed in uncompromising absolutes and that this even bled into how he treated his children. Gwyndolin being doted on as feminine for his association with qualities Gwyn himself labels as feminine feels pretty on point, just like when he completely disowned Nameless King for his association with dragons.
And just like with Nameless King, the explanation for why he'd treat his kids this way is left open to interpretation. It's really neat storytelling that we get to paint a picture of who these people are without ever learning about the why these people are.
I forgot about nameless, my immediate first thought is relating that to myself through my dad being very religious and me... Well, not lol. That might be worth looking into.
I love your channel and your videos, and I find your personal experiences really moving.
The amount of transphobic comments is absolutely heartbreaking and I hope it doesnt weigh on you too much. Thank you for being brave enough to put youself out there on the internet. On behalf of myself and many others, its so encouraging and inspiring ❤️
I’m not trans, I just have this pfp cause it makes pedophiles angry, but I’ve always loved how much queer allegory fromsoft has put in their games over the years. It’s so easy to play through these games where you’re playing as cool knights and killing powerful gods and not look any deeper at any of the themes than what you’re told directly, but these games have always had such a kind and devoted community to reading deeper into the lore and what it means. It’s funny how you can read through these comments and tell who has and hasn’t played all the games or 100% one of them, watched all the lore videos they could find or engaged in its discussion, because the content of these games really does filter that ignorance and negativity out, or change the people spouting them for the better, and that’s the power of such a great story.
8:58 huh! i like your reading of Gwynndolin's gender!
i always read it in reverse of the way you do- that Gwynndolin is a trans woman and that all of the text we see is misgendering with the he/him pronouns.
Hehehe another trans dark souls challenge/soeedrunner to add to my little collection
great vid, gwyndolin's one of the most interesting bosses in the game imo but so much of the conversation seems to just devolve to "no homo" jokes
Omg a new (to me) trans youtuber to watch yayyyy :3
This comment is extremely relatable lol
Fellow trans woman here, your vid just popped into my recs (because I'm devouring SoulsBorne content at the moment I guess).
Gwyndolin has always fascinated me as a character, though I think FromSoft handled the character pretty poorly (or, at least, the English translations did, as I'm not sure what the original text is like).
Despite everything, I still very much see Gwyndolin's gender as being open to interpretation, regardless of the pronouns assigned to him by item descriptions or other characters (unreliable narrators, etc, plus the fact that pronouns aren't gendered so a trans woman can use he/him, etc).
Personally, I've always headcanoned (like many trans women do) that Gwyndolin is a trans woman that people still referred to with he/him pronouns.
Anyways, I subscribed 😅
Despite my mental separation of gender, behavior, and preference, I genuinely didn't consider Gwyndolin as being a transfem with he/him pronouns, that's a super interesting take and a really cool way to think about him. I immediately gravitated to trans man because of his feminine body shape despite his voice and behavior, but I definitely see where you're coming from
@@solarpellets tbh, it wasn't until this video that I was able to articulate my views on him, so it's all good!
I loved this! Really thoughtful and considered. You're so, so right about textual readings informing metaphorical ones - definitely something I wish I'd made clearer in my video and something I grappled with in writing it. In hindsight I think the hard focus I place on metaphorical readings comes across as a little self-satisfied.
What's missing for me with Souls lore generally is a sense of "so what?" that accompanies those really literal readings. "Melania has a genetic disorder." "So what?" "My favourite bits of lore analysis are instead like yours, where you focus in on one of the game's stories, Gwyndolin's relationship to his gender and his father, and run with it, or when you talk about the way the difficulty and feeling of overcoming insurmountable odds affected your life. I love listening to people reflect on what these games, their lore, the experience of playing them, means to them, especially people with a perspective different to mine, who can see things that pass me by.
Excellent video!
I think the "so what" ends up being "it's cool" a lot of the time. Like, Radhan being this insanely powerful husk of his former self and Malenia being the goddess of rot is just kinda cool, and they end up doing that more in later games. In Dark Souls, even the final boss is just a husk of his former self. Not like Radhan, but barely a shell. He's broken and charred, he's weak to the very thing that kept him going for so long, and that's a fascinating story to dig into. Dark Souls 3 has Gwyn show up again because it's cool. There's no narrative reason for the Lord of cinder to embody all the Lords before, he just does. I definitely enjoy the more thought out stories of Gwyn and Gwyndolin to the Soul of Cinder and Malenia. There's also nothing wrong with reading things the way you prefer. The way we interpret art can affect how it changes us, you can stop at the metaphorical if that's where you get your value by all means, all readings of art are self-satisfied, as you put it, and I think that's a good thing.
@@solarpellets I can totally get behind "it's cool" as a reason for Fromsoft to do anything - I love when they lean into being cool for its own sake. Having the giant dude crash his tiny horse into the earth like a meteor? That shit absolutely owns. Soul of Cinder having the plin plin plon music in the second phase gives me full body chills. Fromsoft are extremely good at making stuff cool.
For me personally, (and maybe this is me speaking as a fan who doesn't want to think of any of these games as static, completed things) I want to find more there. Radahn does that meteor thing because he can control gravity, he's associated with falling stars etc. He's a big strong dude doing big strong things. Radahn learning gravity magic partly to continue riding his teeny horse and partly to impress his dad though, is straight up brilliant characterisation, and lets us speculate about the relationship between the two. I find I'm more interested in this powerful, gentle giant, and a lot sadder about his fate when I take cool and run with it. Again though that's completely my personal preference.
Re; reading art the way we prefer - you're so right, of course! By self-satisfied I meant self-important, a little condescending as opposed to self-justifying.
What you said in your comment about "stopping at the metaphorical" is also so right - I think I often operate on the assumption that less literal interpretations are more valid or interesting because it takes more effort for me personally to tease that stuff out, and it's what I enjoy. That's an assumption that's definitely reflected in the stuff I write. After chatting with you and watching your essay a couple times, I think I'll question that impulse more often. "The way we interpret art can affect how it changes us," after all, and focusing too hard on interpreting metaphor stymies art's ability to communicate in other ways.
I am so sorry for the unhinged length of this reply btw, it really got away from me in terms of word count lmao
@@BacklogReviewer I thought this was super well put, thanks for taking the time to write out your thoughts
@@Shmethan I have all the time in the world to talk about video games in general and Dark Souls in specific, the real trick is getting me to shut up lmao
Thanks for posting this, it was a very interesting perspective (especially for me, a cis man with two LGBTQ people in my close family). I’ve always been open to considering Gwyndolin’s gender as either fluid or conflicting and, like Lemon, I use they/them for them just because it doesn’t put them in a box, so to speak.
In my first playthrough I took it as read that Gwyndolin was female, as their voice had a female timbre (despite that voice being a male actor), and ‘Gwendolyn’ (note spelling) is a woman’s name in Welsh. It was only later that I discovered their backstory, and it still kind of conflicts with how I first envisioned them.
I’ve seen trans people in YT comments say Gwyndolin is trans coded (being cis, I don’t appreciate the full implications of this). And I’ve seen trans people in YT comments say this diminishes Gwyndolin as they aren’t given agency in their change of gender identity.
Personally I’m comfortable regarding G as gender fluid, because it captures elements of their experience and the experience of the people in my family. But I’m cishet, so I can only look at this from the POV of a privileged outsider.
But your video is thought-provoking, thanks again for posting.
(If anyone is having trouble with the speed of your delivery, do they not know you can slow a video down on YT?)
I've always seen Gwyndolin as a guy and I'm not really sure why I never saw them as a girl despite the obvious body shape lol. I definitely see why you see them as fluid, but in my mind they're very heavily coded as a man. It's a very unique take on the trans experience, what with their agab being the opposite of what it would be in real life, and that makes it a really fun and interesting way to explore the idea of being trans in the first place, let alone it being tied to my favorite game
@@solarpellets it’s been very interesting reading different trans people’s take on G. I’m also pleasantly surprised how much support there is for trans players in the DS communities (Minoan’s recent video about gender-switching in DS2 had mostly positive comments underneath).
You're keeping it real with this one ❤🙏
Thanks for this video. You help me a little with your thoughts
I find stories like this where a character, who is ultimately cis, but is forced into a gender that does not align with how they feel fascinating. At first sight they sound like anti-trans stories, but they are not. They are fundamentally about the same feeling of gender affirmation. The same way a trans person would want gender affirmation through various means, a cis person who is denied those means will not be fine.
And that makes me think about Guilty Gear's Bridget. I never followed Guilty Gear lore too closely, mostly because the only game in the series I got really into was +R, but Bridget's story was always interesting to me, especially when I was a younger gay man who grew up with horrible TV stereotypes that treated gay and trans as the same (bad) thing. Maybe not because I related to Bridget's story personally, but because it was one of the first examples of interesting queer fictional characters I had ever read about.
For years Bridget was presented as a cisgender male who was forced to be brought up as a female outfits due to in-game lore superstition by his tribe. But in the more recent titles she discovers more about herself and ultimately identifies as a girl now. If the series had died before the more recent titles, Bridget would forever have been a boy. And I find it interesting that, for reasons similar to what you presented about Gwyndolin's relationship with gender, it would be no less of a story that touches on the trans experience. But, because of that, I end up having mixed feelings about the direction they took the character. Perhaps it is just my fondness for the version of the character I first discovered, perhaps it is just my incomplete knowledge of the series, but... while I'm fine with Bridget being a girl and respect the story as it is, I can't help but to think that this version of the character is somehow less interesting, more shallow and somehow... less trans.
I would argue if anything that makes her story more trans. Being forced into a gender role and trying to get out of it, only to discover that the gender itself is something you identify with is an interesting journey of self discovery. That said, I see why you liked the other way better.
That's a good way to put it that I didn't think about before, at least not with those words. And yeah, it's still a good story (even if I find the other one more interesting).
As someone who is AFAB whose father always wanted a boy I really identified with Gwyndolin. I always saw him as a tragic character who wanted to please his father so badly that he would go along with being forced into being a girl. I really like how they continued his lore in DS3 by having him abandon his fathers tomb and leave the ring of reversal there as a symbol of how he no longer is living based on what his father wants from him, but for himself. I am not trans but I really love how you explained his character and it made me see him in a new way.
You weren't assigned anything at birth... you were born a female it's that simple...
I heard a few times that Gwyndolin's state is actually based on a really old Japanese tradition of dressing sickly boys as girls to spiritually protect them, which is alien to us westerners. Gwyndolin is interesting and appreciate how deep the conversation goes. Especially trans readings and trans discussions.
What a great video essay. I’ve not played more than Elden ring myself out of the soulsborne titles so I couldn’t remember/didn’t know why Gwyndolin was inconsistently gendered across various challenge runs I’ve watched. Really enjoyed the breakdown on why people enjoy playing & how it can make them feel. I also played as characters that more closely matched my current gender (masculine in this case) before I realized, including transitioning my animal crossing villager.
the active transphobia in these comments are insane, you do great on dealing with them!
My dumbass watching The Backlogs lately: Who's this other challenge runs channel that keeps popping up. I can't balance all this.
Sees video about transition: I will now respect and revere you forever.
I do the same thing lol
Happy to have you here
Omg, I feel the same thing when someone calls Gwyndolin a "she", Idk, I've seen people talk about Gwyndolin and like-, yeah, they can have their own interpretations, but it bugged me that a lot of people are like "I will call Gwyndolin she/Gwyndolin is a trans woman" and basically explaining that calling him a "he" was kind of transphobic in a very "sue me" way and like-, Idk, Ig I can understand that there are a lot of ways to see Gwyndolin, but the people who just straight up call Gwyndolin a "Trans woman" and think the game is being transphobic for calling him a "he" are ignoring the way Gwyndolin can connect with other ways of experiencing gender identity and that kind of stuff and pushing that idea as the right way of interpret the character is just-, feels weird. I think it should be open to interpretation
I think the fact their body type is so... "Female,' for lack of a better word, despite their voice codes them as a trans man far more than a trans woman, especially on top of their agab being "woman," and their admiration for their father and his specific interests.
it’s super weird bc gwyndolin is so much more trans man coded than trans woman coded, but somehow the trans woman gwyndolin insistence is so common among lgbt fans? (something something objectification sexualization something something. transmisogyny probably)
@@lio_hoshizora I don't think it's "wrong" to interpret him as a trans woman if you relate to it more, but outside of that, interpreting him that way is probably rooted in those, yeah
@@solarpellets definitely not wrong to do so! at the end of the day i am glad there is a trans character in dark souls and he is treated with respect (except by aldrich lol)
@@lio_hoshizora hey, it might've been consensual ;)
always really glad to see other trans peoples' perspectives on the media i like :-) the souls games especially just smack of gender in a really interesting way that it feels not a lot of people pick up on or talk about, and you put it all into words really well!
>:3
When the teenage version of me (whom was deeply in the closet at the time) first experienced Dark Souls and upon exploring the story (in all of its less than obvious presentation) after finding out about Gwyndolin and his plight I became transfixed and empathized with the situation he was forced into (i.e. controlling father forcing a lifestyle to the point that you continue his legacy and vision in some way to gain catharsis). To the extent that his presentation in the original dark souls was what inspired me to think deeper on the questions that had been slowly pushing forward into my mind, such as the ever escalating amounts of gender dysphoria I experienced as I went through puberty. The presentation of Gwyndolin's character in Dark Souls and the experience of overcoming a incredible obstacle (the whole game itself lol) helped me to come to terms with my own identity as a trans person.
Now, as a gender fluid adult free from the yoke of my bigoted & abusive father, I feel I don't wholly relate to the exact plight faced in Gwyndolin's characterization yet I am still incredibly grateful that I encountered it when I did. (I feel a little embarrassed when I share this but I even took Gwyndolin as a middle name to honor the art that helped me become who I am today.) I'm not sure where I would be (or who I would be) today if I didn't get the opportunity to explore myself by using the art as a lens to view my own life. Suffice to say your comment regarding the mindset shift after experiencing Dark Souls deeply resonated with me! I have never seen a video essay before that touched on so many things I felt myself when exploring the world of Dark Souls. I really liked this video, and would love to watch more of your content in the future! You have definitely earned a subscription from me!
I see no shame in taking your name, and representing your identity in other ways, via the art pieces that helped you discover them in the first place. My first name, Ruby, comes from the "ruin seeker" from Tunic, shortened to "Rue," and my middle name comes from Kat, the main character of gravity rush. I want a Dark Souls tattoo, just to represent how it shaped me in so many ways, but I'm not really sure what emblem to use to symbolize that quite yet. I'm happy to be a source of something you can relate to, that's like my main goal when it comes to making these videos lol. I'm glad you enjoyed!
I had a similar experience playing the game for the first time as someone who currently still is closeted due to life circumstances. I find his life story to be so tragic, and in a way I think it helped me confirm my own personal need to eventually live as my true self, otherwise I would be stuck upholding a miserable “illusion” for the rest of my life. It makes me happy that others see their struggles as trans people reflected in him. Many will overlook the depth and complexity of his character for lack of personal relatability, but its great that people like us can find meaning and strength in this story
this was a nice watch, I'm glad that Dark Souls has made such a positive impact on your life, it's great to have a passion like this
i'm honestly curious about the original japanese monologue for gwyndolin, as he(?) uses first person pronouns and "mineself" several times. japanese first person pronouns arent strictly gendered but they do have associations with gender and the way of speaking is in such a way that a person does really determine gender identity through explicit word choice. leaves a bad taste in my mouth to take the english translated item descriptions at face value, the translators probably had issues deciding how to apply english gendered pronouns and following the pretty widely held bias that "born male" = he/him
The only thing I know about the Japanese is their name means "king" or "ruler of gods," which seems masculine, but I don't actually know Japanese so grain of salt and all that. I think regardless of how different the translation is, it's still an interesting way to read the character, their agab being the opposite of what it would be in real life only to transition, which would make it easier for cis people to relate to them. That's enough reason for me to consider the English translation as a valid way to interpret the game, but I definitely see what you mean.
it looks like he uses the pronoun 我(ware) which is a very formal gender neutral personal pronoun and is usually just used in writing! interestingly they chose the kanji above, which is also included in 我が which is used in speeches and stuff and can mean “we/our”, rather than 吾 (ware). not sure if it’s intentional to give a royal we vibe, or whether the 2nd kanji is just uncommon
Dark souls have plenty of hole in the story for that the play may full all the holes with interprétation, item description and more.
I understand your point and yes Gwendoline can be a trans symbole if you want to.
He was growing as a girl because of the Black moon symbole.
But does she is a trans woman because she is or because of her dad..
I mean she was meant to its like being force to be a man when you are in fact not...
Oh fuck !
i think you're the first person i've seen interpret gwyndolin more as trans *masc* than fem, and frankly i don't agree. at the end of the day, this is a portrayal by cis people who are creating a caricature of a trans person based on their own flawed understanding, and that portrayal resembles their ideas of what is effectively parsed by the general audience as a transfem person (see, all the chasers and fetishists who goon over their 'femboy gwyndolin' art). yes, in the strict literal text of the game, gwyndolin would be a "man raised as a girl", but the 'raised as a girl' part is taken to be the explanation for a 'male' character's deviant behavior, their femininity--and the intrinsic 'maleness' they assert must be there is something they don't offer to transmasc folks, but instead use to bludgeon us transfems and keep us from asserting our womanhood. as you yourself argue in this video, focusing on the textual interpretation exclusively over the metaphorical would be a mistake, no?
I agree that the textual interpretation isn't absolute, and you definitely can interpret Gwyndolin as a transfem, that's 100% valid and having interpretations that apply to you is like 90% of the point of this video lol. I've just always seen Gwyndolin as a man because of their adoration of their father and, more specifically, his actions and personage. It always seemed to me that they wanted to emulate him, despite being raised as a woman. I like that interpretation, partially because it makes it easier for cis people to relate to the trans experience in a way they wouldn't otherwise, and because it feels as though it fits the textual reading better. The textual informs the metaphorical, after all.
Daam this really touched me in the feels uhn...
(more then the plin plin plon)
I'm also a trans woman who tbh also loves dark souls for the exact same reasons, i don't want to survive I want to thrive and overcoming these challenges although they may appear impossible gives courage and motivation to do the same in real life
Thank you for this video ^^
i'm eternally fuming that gwyndolin's clothes never returned in the other games... he's so fashionable! time to learn to sew i guess.....
this was a really nice watch:3 i have in the recent year been questioning my gender a lot, and idk it was really comfortable listening to someone who has gone through some of the same things while also discussing my all time favourite game series;p thank you
It's a journey, for sure, but it's one worth taking. I wish you luck!
@@solarpellets thank you, we will see where i end up in the end;p
Gwyndolin was forced into "being a girl" by his abusive father who LITERALLY was a murderous and racist tyrant with a god complex because he considered the kind of magic he was born with 'too womanly' for a man. Your fixation on your larp has completely blinded you to the real meaning of his story.
You literally just said half of exactly what I said. He was forced into being a girl, didn't want to be, so he transitioned. I don't know what the quotes are about, though. He's trans, gender isn't defined by your sex, this isn't complicated
@@solarpellets He never 'transitioned'. He was always a boy. He was forced into a dress by a an abusive parent. That's what you're not getting.
@@furtivedolus2504From another perspective, you can argue that most trans people are also forced (often abusively) by their parents to identify as a certain gender, but factually are not.
I also think youre getting the concepts of gender and sex mixed up. Gwyndolin has pretty clearly always been biologically male, that much is very obvious. The trans reading of his character comes from the fact that he was raised into a certain form of gender expression from birth which he later decided not to identify with. Even throughout cultures in our real world, gender roles differ greatly between eachother and can be completely disconnected from biological sex. Is it so hard to imagine the same could be said of a fantasy culture? There is no such thing as an inherent male identity, and projecting your presupposition of one onto this character is doing a disservice to his story
Would.
Hmmmm
You're talking about Gwyndolin, right?
Right?
2:22 PLIN PLIN PLON???!!?😊
Great video! Tho I would suggest trying to slow down your speaking a bit, it just feels like you're rushing yourself a bit
Yeah, the audhd doesn't do well with speaking T_T
I'm a lot better than I used to be, at least lol. I'll try to slow down a bit in the future, for sure.
I've beem playing these games for the last decade and not once have I thought of Gwendolyn as a trans character. Though I see where people are coming from, what with his situation of being forced to live life in a way counter to what he is.
In any case I found myself intrigued with your thoughts on your gender identity. I don't mean to be rude so correct me if I'm wrong but it seems to me like you don't fit in with what society says a man should be. But I don't think that transitioning solves this problem. I say this as a person who (based on what you said only in this video, I've not seen any of your other content) somewhat relates. From my music/television tastes to how I interact with my peers, is not really what people expect of a man. I have been called gay on more than a few occasions in both childhood and adulthood.
I think we sove these problems by unlearning what sociity says we should be, not by trying to fit into the other box when we don't fit in the one we were born in
No, I didn't transition because I didn't like being a guy, I transitioned because I liked being a girl. I didn't say "I like sports, so I guess I'm a girl," I noticed that I didn't like being a guy, on top of disliking the stereotypes, and that made me relate to Gwyndolin. From there, I realized I liked being a girl, which made me relate less to Gwyndolin, but I still see him and his overall situation as relating to me in a significant way.
This essay has a very Patricia taxxon like vibe, which I do dearly adore
This is amazing, good work
I do not feel worthy to be compared to such a goddess, but I thank you for your compliment
Gwen the true Grooming potential
What does this mean?
so you are saying he was put in to rep groomers?
I think you misheard something, I said trans people :3 you might wanna get your ears checked
This is some crazy mental gymnastics in order to sway the metaphorical to fit your own narrative from your own experiences, it’s honestly pretty impressive.
I don’t know if your comment is meant as praise or criticism (the way it’s phrased it could be either), but isn’t the whole idea of a metaphor that it requires interpretation? And in the end it’s just a game, so we can bring to it whatever we want.
I don't quite understand what you mean. Gwyndolin was raised as a woman but uses masculine pronouns and wants to emulate their father. That's extremely heavily trans coded, but even if they were still a girl, in our world that's still trans because they were born a male.
What the fuck are you talking about, genuinely
6:34
That’s a lot of extra words to say, “I missed the point of everything you said.” Either that or you are disingenuously interpreting what she said to fit your own reading of what she is trying to say. 🤔
Bro you are a man no matter what you try to change you will always be a man I don’t care what you wanna identify as it doesn’t matter your a man do what makes you happy feel however you want to be who you want to be as long as you are happy that’s all that matters but you can not get mad at people for calling you what you are and don’t want to play the they/them games with you and don’t try to force it on people to call you a she just be you and trust me people will accept you more your not a she your a he and you just gay that’s all bro just be you and you will be accepted and as a dad I’m sure you’re dad is just upset with himself because no dad wants there son to pull this kinda of stuff but most of you made him feel like he failed as a father
Imagine being stupid
Seriously, though, don't talk about stuff you don't understand. There's nothing that defines me as a man beyond your shallow interpretation of societal roles. Do better.
this script sounds written by an ai
this comment sounds like it's written by an ai
wtf is this video 💀
A video essay about metaphor in art and how it applies to the viewer of that art, even if it's not direct.
7:37 or maybe liking feminine things as a guy. Did you know that is possible?
That’s not part of what they’re saying
That is possible, but their story is becoming trans and that’s a piece of it rather than it’s own thing under that context
They’re trans, and that’s part of it rather than it’s own thing
It can be it’s own thing, but it isn’t under this context
@@slycwby2478 she. not they. she says she uses she/her repeatedly.
@@SnappingAngelwires In this video she also talks about they being a fitting replacement at anytime that you should use in case of being unsure, my brain is so mega hardwired to use they because I don’t wanna offend anyone at all times that I cannot stop myself
Sorry
@@slycwby2478 that's alright, it's an understandable reason! i'm a little sensitive to it because a lot of people intentionally use they/them for trans women as a way of degendering us/refusing to acknowledge us as women, so I'm glad that wasn't happening here
@@SnappingAngelwires Don’t worry, I’m very respectful of trans people, I am all pronouns myself and that’s oddly important to me in a way that I almost feel shouldn’t be
I am just a little stupid, not a bigot
stop...
No :3
@@solarpellets ur so based
Living in an imagination will never heal your mental health but only damage it even further. The best thing to do is to forgive those who gave you mental issues (in most cases parents) or those who made you question reality.
I wish you the best.
Ps. If you ever want to have children stop taking the hormone blockers (used for castration back in the day).
I don't live "in an imagination," I don't feel the way I do because of trauma or whatever, I don't question reality, I don't want kids, and I'm not on hormone blockers. Ignorance isn't a reason to dislike something someone does.
@solarpellets If you want to please your ego by telling yourself that, then it's ultimately your choice. It's your life.
I can only warn you about the likely consequences of such choices and criticise some of the words you use, which do not describe anything we observe in reality.
What you call ignorance, I call living in reality.
@@GAM2bia what you call reality is your failure to recognize that things change, but if you crave ignorance, so be it. If you really think being happier and healthier is a "consequence," you're either stupid, or a masochist who doesn't know what sonder is like.
@@solarpellets What are refering to when you say things change? Changes as in evolution or changes in social norms?
Everything we do have consequences. Especially if let your ego control you, then every choice we make, if we get excited about something, or if we get angry about something it has a negative impact on our mental health.
You could also choose to destroy your ego through forgiveness, and choose to learn to observe emotions and thoughts and let them pass without being impacted by them. Unfortunately most people today live by letting their ego, emotions and thoughts control them (not only trans and gays but heterosexuals too).
You can call me whatever you want. Seeking any emotions will end bad for your mental health in the long run. Learning to overcome them will be positive for your mental health.
But all of this should come from yourself, and not because I or anyone else said it.
@@GAM2biaOh so if it has to come from her and no one else, *why the fuck did you say it in the first place?*
beta L soy IifestyIe kekek skiII issue
And yet you'd still probably want me to dom you 🤔
Sorry, I'm not into insecure bigots.
yum my favorite meal! word salad!!!!
@@solarpelletsOoh Ooh? What about insecure people who aren’t bigots? Are you into me… I mean them?
@legitplayin6977 it depends on how well you listen ;3
Lol
@@solarpellets Uh, I promise I’ll be a good boy
…mommy?
You speak at ben shapiro speeds. Ive actually heard AI’s with more respect for punctuation and cadence.
I'm working on it lol
I have audhd so my brain doesn't like speaking slow, but I'm definitely getting better with it.
"im a trans woman" so you're a man?
"trans woman" means told to be a man, but actually a woman
@@solarpellets LMAO Iiving in deIusion sad get well soon dude
@@mikeike2177 what delusion, exactly?
@@solarpellets you think you are a woman? Dude you got way too much free time and way too little fatherly guidance
@@solarpelletsthey're not worth your time, I'm sorry you have to deal with these stupid comments
ywnbaw
I already am, have been for 2-21 years depending on how you think about it, sorry to burst your bubble ;3
@@solarpellets you clearly aren’t, your voice is so masculine that I wasn’t even sure if you were a man pretending to be a woman or a regular homosexual man
@@solarpellets your voice is so masculine that I couldn’t even immediately tell that you weren’t just a gay man
@@WarMetalChud Yeah, super masculine. I bet it's more masculine than yours :3
I personally like women with deep voices, seems you do, too ;3
@@solarpellets toxic levels of copium