Closing Closets: The Upside of Disclosing Your Sexual Identity | Jeroen Mulder | TEDxTwenteU

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ต.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 69

  • @johnross5098
    @johnross5098 4 ปีที่แล้ว +112

    That one laugh in the crowd when he said, “scared straight”

    • @Donello
      @Donello 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ha-ha! LMAO. It's up to debate whether the pun was intended or not.

    • @williamexmormon3792
      @williamexmormon3792 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Lol funny

  • @garcia7288
    @garcia7288 4 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    Oh my god when he said “is it me” at 5:47 my mind was like “is it me, Jesus?”

  • @talisn1966
    @talisn1966 5 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    My teacher is a friend of him and showed this in class today

  • @Lightning-ik3so
    @Lightning-ik3so 4 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    I like this description a lot because it's so true. As someone who realized first that they were asexual, then aromantic, then non-binary, I've realized it so much. Each part of my identity has its own journey, and even when I have one or two parts that I'm quite open about, there's another part that I have yet to disclose to most. Yet there's something great about it because once you have people in your corner that are with you on the journey, it is so freeing. It's not something you have to do completely alone.

    • @alicest5777
      @alicest5777 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I was also swayed by the idea that we choose identity. But before 2 years Jesus came to my kitchen, I understood He is God, creator. Felt indescripable love. And suddenly I knew He made me perfect. And there is only either woman or man. Nothing else. He also showed me Satan, I saw him my eyes. He is also alive. He is alsi behind anxieties, false believes, fears, temptations, hate,.. So we need to take Gods word and see who He says we are. Otherwise we take anything Satan tells us to be. It really feels like reality, I understand it from my own personal experience. But when you come to God, He takes all confusion away, cleanses you from all sin as you repent and you are again im tge pure state you were when you were born - innocent, pure, man/woman, joyful, peaceful, hearing Spirit, - this is what happens whe you are BORN AGAIN amd you are renewed by His word.
      Jesus ♡ no one EVER will love us more than He does. ♡ thank you Jesus!

    • @Lightning-ik3so
      @Lightning-ik3so 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@alicest5777 Just so you understand, this is not the place to put this. I was just celebrating my own identity and you essentially told me I was wrong about it. 1. I am a random stranger on the internet. You know very little about me. 2. I am choosing to believe that you had good intentions with this message. But it comes across as condescending. 3. Even if it wasn't, one message isn't going to sway anyone. I similarly wouldn't be able to sway you away from Jesus, because I'm a random person on the internet. But when you leave comments like this, no matter how well meaning, you are potentially going to be met with a lot of anger, because I can promise you that its not something we want to hear from a random person on the internet. Despite your intentions, comments like this are doing more harm than good.

    • @-Swamp_Donkey-
      @-Swamp_Donkey- ปีที่แล้ว

      Maybe you’re just insane and/or a complete mystery to yourself?

  • @NomanAhmed3
    @NomanAhmed3 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Damnit TH-cam! It's 3 years old and I'm seeing it today?

  • @alexanderivory-brown118
    @alexanderivory-brown118 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Very good presentation! Life is a journey and worth walking with others. We are not meant to walk this journey alone.

    • @alexljmac
      @alexljmac 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      perfectly put

  • @twinkle_toes3906
    @twinkle_toes3906 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I think if you guys included the audiences reactions that are vocal it would be way more impactful. Right now he just looks like a guy standing and talking in front of a large audience who isn't particularly interested in what he has to say

    • @PhoenixRising858
      @PhoenixRising858 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hmm, I understand how audience verbal responses could be interesting. On the other hand, I have yet to watch a TedTalk in which the audience responded except during a Talk that includes a Q&A.

  • @1Girl248
    @1Girl248 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    A lovely perspective! I knew I liked how I felt more secure coming out these days, and I'm looking forward to being even more so, but I didn't really notice how much I've learned to like the whole process.

  • @blackbox3008
    @blackbox3008 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I’ve been closeted for 5 years and still am not even close to be willing to come out

    • @EfrLuviano
      @EfrLuviano ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Damn man
      Are you doing good?

    • @clefnoteproductions6695
      @clefnoteproductions6695 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Coming our is a process for everyone. Knowing who's safe to come out to is tricky, especially if you come from a conservative background

  • @BTURNER1961
    @BTURNER1961 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Jeroen is right. But nobody is going on any journeys with you, if they are scared to ask you questions about the journey. That means, at least for a little while, you will have to be welcoming of some questions. And I can't say enough for keeping that humor flowing. Its so important to making everyone comfortable so that friends and family be able to laugh and not take all this too seriously. People have to learn to relax more.

  • @yadi5808
    @yadi5808 7 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Thank You, that is such a lovely point.

  • @TheDuglas63
    @TheDuglas63 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Jeroen, Thank you so very much, you are awesome. Douglas, Florence, Or, USA

  • @HarbingerofHyol940
    @HarbingerofHyol940 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I can't get over how absolutely handsome Jeroen is! WoW!

  • @moriae9527
    @moriae9527 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    I love how the lights at the audience shots form rainbows, as if they were trying to show their support

  • @DesirevdBeld
    @DesirevdBeld 8 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Goed verhaal Jeroen! Inspirerend verteld. :)

  • @orlando098
    @orlando098 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I wasn't entirely inspired by this. Basically saying that rather one big thing you get over and done with it's a lifelong challenge.. Not sure that's preferable, though it's probably true.

    • @1Girl248
      @1Girl248 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      In some societies, it certainly would be a lifelong challenge, unfortunately. I'm lucky to live in a quite tolerant country, and I can relate to him - every time you come out, it's a different experience, and the more you do it, the easier it gets (at least, after you've told the ones closest to you, plus or including family). Each time there's some kind of nervousness at the back of my mind, and each time if it goes better than you expect (and it always has gone well for me; granted, I haven't really trusted a number of people to know yet), you get some reassurance and confidence in this part of yourself, and if nothing else, it prepares you for the next coming out. As another side effect, while there's the risk of ruining relationships, it can also strengthen them.
      Also as he said, if you examine the nervousness or fear at the thought of a particular coming out, you learn something - maybe about yourself. The feeling is different each time, so eventually your perspective about coming out likely changes.

  • @saintjohnson5927
    @saintjohnson5927 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Hear everything he say
    Me: I think I am in to deep

  • @rocknroller1986
    @rocknroller1986 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Story of my life.

  • @CCGR-2024
    @CCGR-2024 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thank you for giving me a different way to look at life, how can I join you on your journey?

  • @igod6800
    @igod6800 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Algún día, ser sincero y honesto no estará acompañado de tanto miedo. Será en día en que ninguna institución de ningún tipo respalde la homofobia. Será una revelación.
    Someday, being sincere and honest will not be accompanied by so much fear. It will be a day when no institution of any kind supports homophobia. It will be a revelation.

  • @Jcthered
    @Jcthered 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Cheers to that. Thank you.

  • @RobertYoung-rl5sh
    @RobertYoung-rl5sh 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are a solder - a leader of your platoon.

  • @biggityboggityboo8775
    @biggityboggityboo8775 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    He's cute

    • @Hntrd
      @Hntrd 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      BiggityBoggityBoo very

  • @carlo89
    @carlo89 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I just didn't understand his message. The only thing I got from this is that coming out is a series of smaller obstacles instead of one big one. Uhm... Yeah, sure we know that - as with everything else in life... But what is the upside of closing closets in this message?

    • @1Girl248
      @1Girl248 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      The upside is learning from the experiences. Lots of different coming outs means lots of things to learn about yourself and others, so it's an opportunity for growth - both for yourself and your relationships

  • @andreschuurman773
    @andreschuurman773 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    wauw goed gesproken.

  • @Ajay-ms3mh
    @Ajay-ms3mh 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I see rainbows top of the audience (lights)

  • @fabioaraujo8379
    @fabioaraujo8379 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very illuminating talk. Thank you

  • @rolds3389
    @rolds3389 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Nice!

  • @MrFersitos
    @MrFersitos 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Marvelous!!

  • @Urania4007
    @Urania4007 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Ik raad je aan de werken van Karl Heinrich Ulrichs te lezen

  • @evangelosmouzakitis1278
    @evangelosmouzakitis1278 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    need more info

  • @j5892000
    @j5892000 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Mom dad.... I'm straight..

  • @deIcorazon
    @deIcorazon 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    wowie

  • @ronja4567
    @ronja4567 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love Theater Alice storry

  • @Sami51768
    @Sami51768 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wow i love my iphone x MHAHAGAM LOL

  • @jonsnor4313
    @jonsnor4313 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Good acting.

  • @alangiles2763
    @alangiles2763 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Self aggrandisement personified

  • @krehetpi
    @krehetpi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Coming out used to be a big deal.Thankfully it’s not anymore.

    • @archraskal
      @archraskal 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Christopher Byrne. Wrong! Don't be so dismissive. It's still very challenging.

    • @frieda670
      @frieda670 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      that depends on under what circumstances you have to come out (like how’s ur environment etc)

    • @krehetpi
      @krehetpi 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Friexaa Kolli
      True, but here in Ireland it’s thankfully a lot easier than it was back in my day.

    • @cormacmcgale7139
      @cormacmcgale7139 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@krehetpi I'm also Irish, and I don't agree with you, I might not be able to come out for another 4 years (at least)

    • @krehetpi
      @krehetpi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Kyu mic
      I’m sorry you feel that way, but take your time and come out when you’re ready. It’s an ongoing process.

  • @ILLGOOD
    @ILLGOOD 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Oh yeah? I'm straight! Give me a parade. I am born a man, and think and function as i am intended. Give me honors for having NO defects. lol

    • @tee-yah3700
      @tee-yah3700 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      No❤️

    • @A1K_19
      @A1K_19 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ok good for you

  • @javelsaudades6537
    @javelsaudades6537 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Darling man! Thanks. :)