Thank you so much to everyone watching. I am always overwhelmed by the support. None of us are broken, just different, we have ALL always been enough! Alex 💚
I am trying to use the code and follow these directions. But there’s only confirming the subscription. There’s nowhere to input the code. Please help - Click on "start free trial" - Complete the sign-up flow - At the plan stage, click "start trial" when selecting the annual plan. - At the checkout stage, click "Add promotion code" and add the discount code "ADHDCHATTER30". (THIS IS WHERE IM HAVING ISSUE. ONLY CONFIRMING SUBSCRIPTION OPTION. NOWHERE TO INOUT CODE)
Amen 🙏 one of three people on here that have convinced me to go for diagnosis. The other two are Autistic/ADHD more akin to my manifestations, Mom on The Spectrum and Orion Kelly. Then the rabbit hole started and I’m up to 20 or so creators, never miss a video drop ✊ especially here.
I can’t listen to the entire convo right now but I just wanted to say to Rox that it’s so kind of her to share so freely about her ADHD. It’s helped me immensely and I only got dx’d 3 weeks ago AuDHD at 56 years old. You are a gem x
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety before my ADHD was recognised, because my procrastination at work would lead to so much guilt and sense of failure that I would fantasise about stopping my presence on the planet as a means of avoiding the consequences.
Same, I do not want to die, but I have lost the will to live. 8 hours in a noisy office, where I am the middle man between departments, make it very difficult to get things done. I always end up working more and more hours to catch up. This continues way past the point where my brain and body say "I am out of here, good luck". That's when I reach the fck it stage and I burn down everything because fck it, what's the point? This leads to my inevitable termination and I will have to start.... from scratch.... Again.... God damnit... Again.... You Idiot! I have lost the will to do this over and over. just to do the 1 step forward 4 steps back thing. But.... I will find something else eventually, I will mask my way through it until I can't. The cycle continues. New round, new chances, as we say in the Netherlands You are not alone❤
@@Remcore020 ouch yeah I really know that feeling well. I’m about there right now dreading having to show up in court tomorrow and pretend to be a normal person. And not be late. 8:30am is more like bedtime then be anywhere punctual time. Oh and here’s all my money too. 😒
I had the same depression, anxiety & panic attacks.. I eventually left my job, because I just felt like a failure.. I’m starting counselling this week.. My sister pointed out to me ADHD traits & it makes sense…wishing everyone all the best ..😊❤❤
After 38 years of believing all the negative comments about myself the TH-cam algorithm brought me and one of rox's videos on adhd quirks together. And it all just clicked. Floordrobe, check. Hideying up, check No cook meals (chunks of cheese) around 16:30 when I should have eaten lunch at lunchtime, check. Adhd walks, all of them, check. Graveyard of hobbies, check. Mostly late 5-15 min or 60 minutes early, check. After researching adhd for a couple of weeks I was actually sure that this might actually be what has been going on. This coupled with my 6th crippling burnout in 10 years made me to contact my GP to have this checked out. It has been 14 months since my first appointment and received the diagnosis 2 weeks ago. I went and visit my parents almost kind of excited, I finally figured out why I keep failing at life. Just to be crushed emotionally by their responses. So mum, dad, I have been having my suspicions that my struggles are a cause of me having ADHD..... (Wanted to tell the rest of the story, dad interrupted, apples not falling far from the tree I guess) Dad: The only reason you are a failure is because your mum did not allow me to beat you as much as I wanted to. If you would have had military service like me they would have beaten you punctual. You are just lazy.. Mum: that is just the way you are, you landed ok right? This moment honestly made me lose the little respect I still had left for them. (Dad's a functioning alcoholic with violent streaks that dominates everyone in the family with his anger. Usually my mum is the target of his frustrations, it is always her fault. Mum's a lady with a troubled childhood situation at home who just enables my dad being a prick basically) It made everything so clear why I am fckd up the way I am. Why I don't trust anyone, especially myself. Why I have a hard time asking for help. Why I truly believe that talking about your problems is useless and will bite you in the end. Why I always end up burning out. Why I feel I have to work until I finished what I am supposed to have finished. I feel like I have opened a new chapter, I am also skeptical I will get any better. I have grown to believe that it all turns to shit in the end. Thanks Rox and Alex for the very important work you do. Know that if it wasn't for what you do. I would still struggle blissfully unaware, blaming myself for being a lazy idiot who can't get his shit straight. ❤
I’m so sorry, that sounds like a truly traumatic childhood. You wrote so well about it, you are clearly NOT a failure, but a survivor. Big hugs from an Aussie internet stranger xx
Alex drove me to find a psychologist and now a psychiatrist and it has started to really change my life. I’m SO thankful to have stumbled upon him when I did. I knew I had ADHD (two of my girls do too) but I had never been diagnosed. I’m also slightly bipolar.
This is by far one of my favourite episodes, I have watched it over a few times due to getting distracted. Normally I don't go back to what I have missed. There were so many 'aha moments' and a few tears but it is so nice to find an understanding to things that I can't make sense of myself. And listening to other ADHDers with the same struggles just talk through it. I loved seeing Rox, Alex and Jo just sit down and chat, the professional perspective on ADHD struggles helped so much. I can't explain how gratful I am to have found this podcast. Makes the world of diiference
❤’ed this episode to tears!!! Rox was so darn relatable and Alex the host is awesome! Everytime I watch Alex and many episodes I really enjoy his personality and honesty and relate a lot to Alex when he outs himself and I appreciate that transparency and have learned so much from what he discusses and shares (Thank you Alex!!!). Rox’s story made me cry- because related so so so much to what she shared and family dynamics- I am also a singer songwriter and the family dynamics thing too- “Being sensitive in a non sensitive home” along with abuse and likely undiagnosed parent and brother for sure. What a life. So grateful to God that he allowed me to stumble on your channel Alex. It’s really good stuff and thank you so much for putting all this together ❤. I appreciate the recent female guests a lot.
Diagnosed at 45 and as a female it was like a huge weight lifted however am also diagnosed with CPTSD due to a string of destructive relationships. Healing from the loss of a life full of unfulfilled potential, squashed creativity, exhaustion and burnout from working twice as hard to meet the standards and being vulnerable to seriously sick manipulative individuals. It's a lot. My best advice to anyone wrestling with this is adopt a regular self compassion practice and give yourself the same effort as you extend to others. We are different, not broken and different is good. Nowadays I fully embrace the delulu and live as my freerange authentic neurospicy self. We have always been enough. Big love ❤
First of all l want you to know l cried at everything you have written & me l imagined all you have went through which sounds horrific 🩷 l am sending you a huge hug for all you have been through & have written, you should so proud that you have survived & are coming through all you have. It’s so important & so impressive. Please take this as a huge compliment, it truly is. I hope dealing with all your trauma is helping you in huge ways. I to believe l am AuAdhd, my daughter has just been diagnosed as well as my granddaughter who is a teenager. My daughter-in-law & one of my grandsons, she had him before getting with my son. His real bio dad has ADHD too. I have suspected l may have it/them both way before my daughter being diagnosed. My granddaughter was confiding in me until my daughter was diagnosed. My daughter kept her thoughts to herself until diagnosis. I now after much research think my son & many others like my sister, my brother & their children. Some refuse to look at it, l have even been banned talking about it with them. I was S.A. Rpd as an 11 & 12 year old by a neighbour & a year later by his brother. I told my parents they did nothing to protect me. I had to see them every day my school bus stopped at my stop he would get off the local bus behind my bus. It was one way to our homes, one long very long street. His house opposite. I lived in such fear. In a fright, flight, fear on a daily basis(5) days while at school & then the further two days at home l was terrified to be sent to the local shop, or for crisps & lemonade at the bowling club. I was terrified the whole time if l wasn’t at home. However my home was a violent, threatening, neglectful one. I believe that had something been done the first time the 2nd brother who lived in the same village may not have tried with me. So l blame my parents for sticking a siren 🚨 on my head to say “you can do anything to my daughter & nothing will happen!!!!!” 😞💔 I know l have PTSD l think it’s complex…..but not diagnosed. I have huge anxiety, OCD & am still discovering. I have Fibromyalgia which came when l discovered that my child had been RPD & many S.A. a second attempt RPE. Which was truly horrific & l knew in an instant what l needed to do because of my own. It was a son my mum had as she re-married. It happened all within my mums home at the time in Scotland, we live in England (because of my childhood & a young adult) We all think children are safe in our mums, when they are NOT!!! We went to the police & it all was in national newspapers in both countries. He was sentenced in 2002 & is still in place that help people like him. He can’t cope outside in the world. My two are doing amazing & are so strong & doing great. It split the family as in my mum etc which we were fine about. I also have Under-Active Thyroid Disease, Lymphedema, Lipedema, Full Body Neuralgic Nerve Pain. All diagnosed in the years after. I to was in violent both physically & mentally relationships. I now having lost my last partner to an accident & died & so l have spent the last 7 years on my own. I spent 8 years on my own prior to meeting him as we grew up together.
@@AquariusGirl27Oh darling I am so sorry for what you have experienced too. I do feel my family were not able to be what I needed in order to be safe and have the confidence to stand up for myself and take action, as they didn't when I was abused. You are tremendously strong and I have to add it's said that those who have it extremely hard are made for great things. We are the ones who break the cycle. Presently my only child is alienated from me by a sociopathic ex who is the father so my battle continues. Steel is forged in fire. Hold yourself high and shine bright lady. You are incredibly brave and deserve all your hearts desires for making it through all you have. Such a warrior ❤
@@AquariusGirl27PS I have atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia and CPTSD and sense the TN is as a result of the trauma. Gabor Mate's film The Wisdom of Trauma and Bessel van der Kolk in his book The Body Keeps The Score both speak about this. Look after yourself and definitely put on your own oxygen mask first. Learning to care for myself and treat myself well, listening to my body's needs was a revelation for me and I find mindful living lets me go about things in a way that no longer conflicts with my values. Much love your way x
Apologies for the compliment, but you guys are wonderful. Have helped me understand myself and yes, finally make an appointment for a psychiatrist. Thankyou SO much ❤
Love you Rox. It's because of you and your bubby that I learned so much wtf was wrong with me. 🎉I bought your 2 books and im loving to love and learn more about myself. You made my life so much easier❤❤❤❤❤
I cried for most of this podcast. Roxanne is so incredibly beautiful & resilient. I'm undiagnosed & really struggling at the minute but this podcast saves me. Thank you so much for this podcast, I appreciate it so much ❤
This is the most inspirational podcast I have listened to since I started my exploration into trying to understand what ADHD is. It is educational, informative, thought provoking, considerate and compassionate. It is the weaving of the theories by the medical expert beautifully interspersed with real life examples from Alex and Rox that make this podcast outstanding. I have listened to many of Alex’s podcasts, all very enlightening, and enjoyable, but this one was extra special. I came to this channel when my grandson was diagnosed with ADHD, and on my journey I discovered that I have always had it, and that my daughter has all the symptoms too. This is going to help us so much as a family. I now understand why I behave the way I do, and more importantly, why I react to life the way I do. Now I need to find a way to share all this with my daughter. She will relate so well to Rox - she’s just a few years older, and life is a real struggle for her because she has never been diagnosed. But now, with or without a diagnosis, she will be able to identify her struggles in Rox’s story and hopefully be inspired by how amazingly well Rox has done. It’s never too late. Thank you so much for sharing your life stories - we really really appreciate it.
My father loved me to pieces at a time when ADHD or even ADD didnt exist as a diagnosis. He did his best to support my efforts even though a lot of my behavior appeared insensitive, uncaring, and without even an attempt at motivation. He always, always loved me and I broke his heart over and over - but was powerless to stop it. That's why I have Daddy issues.
I came across your content recently, and it’s really opened up my eyes to the possibility that I have ADHD. There are so many experiences described here that really hit home! ❤ PS- Rox’s solution of allowing themself to ideate all the business ideas they have to get them out of the system whether they happen or not, is so brilliant.
Just a comment about being late. I do try very hard to not be late because there is a horrible sense of guilt. My parents , in conversation with people, would always have to mention that I'm always late. Feeling judged by my own family really cut deep. I wasn't diagnosed until I was a young adult.
Not a professional, but just an observation, that lots of neurospicies partner to other neurospicies - but not always in ways that mesh well. Rox's dad might have been on the autism spectrum and struggled with the chaos that ADHD brings. I'm AuDHD and the internal battles are something to behold. It really resonated when I heard that anything we achieve we dismiss as 'anyone can do that' or just heave a sigh of relief for actually finishing something, we don't celebrate
Awesome stuff. I'm hoping that, one day, this channel will make a video specifically aimed at the partners of those who have to live with someone who struggles with ADHD, to help them have a greater understanding of how to interact with that person.
@mariosnic they're useful by accident. I'm wary of making my partner sit through many hours of material looking for useful nuggets when she's already resistant to accepting ADHD in general. Not to mention the pain of rewatching the entire channel just to pull up those critical points... that aren't aimed at long-suffering partners in the first place.
Great video, I've seen others with Rox and really resonate with a lot of her experiences (which is good and bad at the same time). I haven't watched all of this yet though as I keep having to go back to the beginning due to being distracted by and in awe of Jo Perkins amazing sitting posture! I wish I could sit like that!
I am proud of you and your mum surely would be, Rox. You're an incredible human being with your helpful and not so helpful traits. You're a complex woman like most people are. Thank you for all you do
I can relate so much.. Rox popped out on my FB reels for some reason and I was hooked! Thanks to her I believe that I have ADHD. I’m not going to get an official diagnosis because I’m not sure why but it’s so nice to finally understand myself on this level. It’s a huge relief. And it makes me a better mum to my daughter who definitely has ADHD as well. I’m much more sensitive to her needs. Thank you both for speaking up and healing something in people! ❤❤
Or, you don’t believe the compliment because it feels like you’re either going to be manipulated soon for something, or it just feels “fake”or disingenuous.
I'm AuDHD and grew up with all the kinds of abuse. I relate to being a sensitive kid in a non sensitive household! Realizing the relationships I had with my Narc parents was a scam - through therapy - has actually turned everything upside down as now at 39 I'm still unbound to anyone here really and have taken a spiritual path as after having some amazing therapy with my first true therapist, others don't get it and made me feel worse. I trained as a therapist myself and lost my bearings when my therapist retired. I'm not sure if it always helps when you can't find someone who gets all of your complex differences. It's dangerous to open the can of worms when no one seems to be able to help you close it again. Don't settle for the wrong person peeps, there are probably more options in bigger countries than mine, if it feels like it's not helping then listen to yourself!! I hope we can all find our way to peace
There is research that PTSD, and perhaps CPTSD, can cause adult onset ADHD. Now I’m wondering if PTSD can exacerbate ADHD. And I googled just now and there is research that there is a bidirectional relationship between PTSD and ADHD - meaning one can impact the other. Thank you so much for this episode. I’ve just found your channel. I’m so excited that these types of discussions are happening!
I think it's truest to say ptsd/cptsd can cause similar traits to ADHD, but also very frequently, ADHD will be a direct or indirect cause of Ptsd/cptsd, including the undiagnosed ADHD of parents.
I was sent to a time management seminar in Leicester, got on the wrong train in Nottingham and ended up in Newark. I managed to arrive about 5 mins from the end. The other participants thought it was a joke!
It’s possible Roxe didn’t feel totally safe or secure around her father. Children, at their core, are driven by a need for safety, and when that’s in question, they often try hard to please the parent who feels harder to reach. They’re looking for love, security, and approval, even if it means focusing on the parent they struggle to connect with. Despite her mother’s warmth and love, it seems that the dynamic with her father might have put up walls, making it harder for Roxe to fully embrace that connection. It’s a natural survival instinct - children can sometimes put up barriers between themselves and the love that’s right in front of them because they’re focused on emotional survival. This isn’t about blame, it’s about understanding. Children’s emotional needs shape how they navigate relationships. It takes time and trust to break down those walls. So glad she found true love with her boyfriend Richard ❤
24:48 if you’re traumatized over long period of time (e.g. by parents negligence or 20 000 negative comments etc) it’s called complex PTSD (CPTSD). Check Pete Walker’s book “Complex PTSD. From surviving to thriving: a guide and map for recovering from childhood trauma”. It’s really helpful!
I do love how the title and intro made it seem like there was conflict between the guests when there really wasn’t lol I get it’s for the algorithm- what a lovely conversation
Great episode, just feel the psychologist was off the mark a little when she talked about neurodivergents slowly coming to realisations gradually of 'this may not be in alignment with me and my core' after doing the work and introspection, it's very often the case that ADHD and dysregulated emotionally can feel nothing and have no awareness then have sudden impulsive out of the blue moments of drastic life changes like careers, relationships out of nowhere. Mine is locations! I've noticed a common thing is people having intense sudden urges to uproot, move cities, move countries, move home, start again or quit a job, quit a relationship for something new and it can come straight out of left field and can be incredibly confusing One ADHD question was do you feel as if you are sometimes being driven, as if by a motor? That hit so hard
Rox has had so much impact on me and my adhd and my life as an adher. Her and Richard both with their videos helped me understand what was going on with me and it made me feel less alone bc no one had really gone over adhd that looked like mine. I would love to give them a massive hug and a custom furby 🥲💙💖
I've stopped telling one of my friends now about the things I'm discovering on my ADHD journey. I was diagnosed with autism last year and since I've learnt about what ADHD is through rox and her videos and Alex and his podcast. I've learnt so much that I want to share with someone like my friend or my mum or my husband. But I just feel like my friend doesn't get it. I think because I've got a life where I'm doing okish she can't see how I could possibly have either of them. Also because my autism masks my ADHD somewhat that's another reason she can't see it. She just sees what's on the surface. I've worked hard all my life, I've got my own home, husband and family. But without my support network of my mum and husband I think I'd have carried on chasing romantic relationships, probably have a number of kids and be a single parent, mentally I've had a lot of problems and since my kids came along my ADHD symptoms have become worse. I think some of the reason people don't accept the neurodivergent people is because of what was disgusting that people just don't know enough about it, they don't know what's going on internally with us and trying to convince people ive learnt is hurting ourselves because where we are looking for validation and someone stamps on that it hurts it's like the RSD. I love watching these pod casts and feel validated and like I know I have my own tribe out there. It's very comforting thank you @adhd_chatter_podcast you really have. Changed my life for the better and I'm able to help my kids too. They are too young currently to want to listen to this podcast but I will never forget it and am currently writing letters for them for if a time ever comes and I can't be here... I'll be including this in this channel's name to help them with all their ADHD worries. ❤
I wish there were a lot more of the better therapists. I'm pretty put off of most of them seeming to want to push you down their own personal cookie cutter processes with no regard to what actually works for you individually. Plus they don't get ADHD, and they basically find all kinds of different ways to say, "you just need to do the things(s) you keep telling me you are having a problem doing". Zero help, and actually harms.
The struggle with compliments for me isn't really RSD. It's confusion- I'm often complimented for things that come easy to me with zero effort, and reprimanded for things that I put massive effort into. So it doesn't match my internal experience, and adds to the feeling that I'm different from other people, which makes me feel lonely and unseen.
Hey Rox, As a dad, have you ever thought that he thinks all of the thinks you went through as “his fault”. My daughter is struggling and I’m listening and fighting to put my own issues behind. And I feel like it’s my fault 🤦♂️ so it would not surprise me 42:14
Yeah- you were wrong about the consequences of being late. It has DESTROYED my life and relationships! I literally was recently punished by a friggin doctors office! Long story but because of my evidence people believe me! I’ve had to change my hairdresser of 35 years. I’ve have to remake appts that are nearly impossible to do. The worst for my emotional state is the fact that not a single member of my family has been supportive. All my brothers in laws family think I’m rude. EVERYONE does!!! I found out the only way I’ve been able to leave at a good hour was when I had help! People pushing me out the door. When you’re by yourself there is no help. And PLEASE don’t say set alarms! It’s gotten to the point I have zero idea why an alarm is going off cause I have so many. Being late has given me crippling anxiety every single time I have to make an appt with anyone. And I have a hell of a lot of appts I’m always having to make! So what’s the worst that can happen? Everyone hates you, you make people lose money and time, and every last one of them thinks I’m doing it on purpose! I have a lot of issues but right now this is the worst and I’ve been this way since elementary school! Literally until recently still had dreams about running to the bus for school and always barely making it. Time blindness is a very huge issue, particularly here in America. Society is not gray on this topic. There’s only one opinion- if you’re late you get punished in any matter of ways and they are much worse than the constant detentions I got for being late and for all the times being kicked out of class for talking! I mean it was all bad but being late is a huge NO-NO and NOONE gives you the benefit of the doubt! I’ve stopped telling people why I’m late-just wastes oxygen!
Yes, I was removed from a post-grad program, fired multiple times, had friends and family reprimand me, etc. It’s the worst feeling, because the consequences are so bad.
My heart is aching for you. The solution for me was to move to a remote farm, away from all the pressures of town life. Am aware that this isn't everyone's cup of tea, but a big plus is that I've discovered that a lot of folks that have chosen to live remote have similar issues and are a lot more accepting. It doesn't solve my issues but lessens them which is such an incredible relief. Hope you find a way to ease your pain ❤
@@leilap2495I’m always so sorry when someone knows the pain! It would be a lot better if there was real help for us! If one more person tells me to wake up earlier or leave earlier I will totally lose it! Maybe we can overcome one day🤞
@@suecollins357thank you so much! It really sucks when people understand the pain! Living in the middle of nowhere sounds actually amazing, but I know myself and I isolate big time, so probably not the best idea for me-but it’s such a good idea!!!
Intent doesn’t negate impact. There is a lot of talk about the individual with ADHD however, very little is ever said about the psychological impact, whether intentional or not, their actions have on the other person in the relationship. The spouse on the other side of the love bombing, stuck picking up all the pieces, finishing the incomplete projects, taken for granted, forgotten about until they conveniently coincide with the latest hyperfocus.
I took the intent discussion to be more about diagnosis of adhd vs being narcissistic, not about excusing anything or denying that impact matters most. ❤
This is clearly just my opinion but the person going through whatever it is has is HARDER! I can ASSURE you! Now would I ever marry someone like me? Hell no! It would be impossible. But there are people like me who wish everyday they were normal and didn’t make everyone mad.most of us have been told our entire lives we were bad people for having symptoms of an illness. So, while I do feel sorry for partners, you’re not going to find many people who are glad they have this and didn’t wish with every ounce of their soul they could wish it away!
Ah yes...the praise issue. I really struggle to accept, take in, praise. I just can't see it. An example is my photography...people give me compliments about it, yet I cannot see "it", not only that, I also squirm like crazy when i get praise, any praise, an extremely awkward uncomfortable feeling for me.
I recently thought there is no such thing as "high-funtional" ADHD or Depression or Austism, it really is "high-masking". After I had my ADHD diagnosis I realised that I´ve been masking from a really young age, thinking back proparbly age 4/5. I had no idea who I really was and what I did every minute of everyday to be(seem) like a funtional "normal" person.
I’m really struggling right now. I feel like such a failure. I’m making progress but slower than people my age (I’m 19). I am trying but my family always speaks down to me and I feel like what’s the point of trying.
Personally, I don't feel like ADHD and narcissistic personality disorder necessary "overlap". But what I really wonder is if narcissists often target ADHDers - especially women - because of their masking of being a "good girl", and the huge amounts of empathy. The masking woman takes on all the responsibility for making the relationship work...which the narcissist thrives on.
Oh my yes, if you could see how amazing my cupboards and silverware drawer are! I’ve only wasted about 13 hours reorganizing it all 37 times in the past few months. 😞
I have other problems with my dad. He is overly sappy and very immature. He never saw me as me. I was his “little girl” and he tried so hard to control me. I spent more time with him as a kid than my mom because his executive function was so low that he spent most of his time like a Ferrari revving on bricks. I would have liked him to accept me exactly as I am and treat my mom nicer. My problems with my dad are more like most people’s issues with their mom and vice versa. My mom had to work. I felt like my dad stole my mom from me, as he set up the business that my mom went to everyday because he couldn’t follow through and he was a freelance artist.
Still not sure how and when to get a diagnosis. I am pretty sure for quite a long time now that I am different and that it's ADHD or even paired with autism. Looking back at my time as a teen... It seems that I was never somewhat right. I was labeled lazy, messy, chaotic, crybaby, too sensitive, too clumsy. In the end I basically never lived like others could, I didn't make a lot of experiences, especially not successful ones and the result was depression/anxiety even bipolar symptoms in my mid twenties. Overall there is a huge amount of selfhate stored inside me but where I live there is hardly a specialist who would even care about ADHD. Greetings from Germany
I'm sorry you're going through this, I totally hear you. Dealing with adhd or autism is definitely something you can't go through alone. Check to see if you can get a diagnosis from another country. I live in Italy and I can't find a specialist here, let alone one who speaks English! I have been seeing a psychologist in Belgium and I'm now looking for an adhd specialist in the UK. They won't be able to prescribe me with medication because that has to come from inside your country (I think) but I can get a diagnosis. Also, they will have to be private which will most likely be expensive. xxx
@@kuraikomoon5258 Unfortunately, there is no blood test that can say, "aha! There it is! You have " There are, however, screening mechanisms for which a qualified mental health practitioner can refer you. Mine was done the same day I brought up my suspicion of ADHD, on a computer. It was quick and, I suppose, relatively easy, or I felt it ought to have been. Personally, I felt frustrated and like I was doing it wrong--but, as it turned out, that's what showed my inattentive/impulsive traits. Best wishes in sorting out yours, my friend. I, too, deal with a multitude of disorders, so you have my empathy, for whatever it's worth.
Yes I rang 999 when I had my worst panic attack so it’s great to see I’m not alone with that because I got the piss taken out of me for that and that is strange , if you feel like your going to die I think it’s problematic to not ring 999 because you would be accepting the possibility of death
@ADHD_chatter_podcast Hi Alex, could you please talk about the impact of Dyslexia and Dyscalculia and how that complicates the mind and the caffeinated squirrels? Thank you.
Hyperfocus can lead you to appear extremely productive such that you can perhaps too easily hide your neurodivergence... especially if that lies directly along your career vector. But the unpredictability is just awful..
Bpd alco parents created my adhd...my mother was abandoned at age 8...ive cured myself..its taken decades...but my son has id and adhd and autism...his birth was awful low oxygen and a heart clip dented his head which hospital said could not have caused all his ear infections...bs...stress makes folks restless irritable and discontent when theres no safety or secure safe adults...its awful
really value the insights and discussions in this podcast, but I was taken aback by the dynamic in [specific part of the episode]. It struck me as patronizing when [specific action/statement] occurred-particularly the idea of explaining someone else’s emotions or directing them to justify their feelings. As someone who resonates with the principles of grounded theory, I believe the power lies in listening and creating space for others to express their truths, not speaking for them. The dynamic felt especially troubling considering the broader societal patterns where men often tell women how they feel. I bring this up not to diminish the overall quality of the discussion but to encourage reflection on how power dynamics-especially around gender-can unintentionally come through even in respectful dialogue. Thank you for sparking this important conversation; I’d love to hear thoughts or reflections on this!
It might not get acknowledged because the parents or significant other is a narcissist and will not do well with being associated with a “problematic person” because they only surround themselves with their idea of perfection - including their own adult children. Just an idea…..
Thank you so much to everyone watching. I am always overwhelmed by the support. None of us are broken, just different, we have ALL always been enough! Alex 💚
Thank you for an absolutely brilliant podcast Alex, so grateful.
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- At the checkout stage, click "Add promotion code" and add the discount code "ADHDCHATTER30". (THIS IS WHERE IM HAVING ISSUE. ONLY CONFIRMING SUBSCRIPTION OPTION. NOWHERE TO INOUT CODE)
Alex, You have changed my life and my children’s lives with this podcast. I am forever grateful! 🥹 ❤
Roxanne is the reason I have been diagnosed with adhd. It's too early to tell but I think she may of changed my life for the better
We love Rox!
Amen 🙏 one of three people on here that have convinced me to go for diagnosis. The other two are Autistic/ADHD more akin to my manifestations, Mom on The Spectrum and Orion Kelly. Then the rabbit hole started and I’m up to 20 or so creators, never miss a video drop ✊ especially here.
@@CamStubbsall the best for the journey you’re on! I hope you’ll have the answers and the help you need along the way!
@@ADHD_Chatter_PodcastThere is zero chance to get help in America.
Same!!!
I can’t listen to the entire convo right now but I just wanted to say to Rox that it’s so kind of her to share so freely about her ADHD. It’s helped me immensely and I only got dx’d 3 weeks ago AuDHD at 56 years old. You are a gem x
Late diagnosis here too - she and Rich both have been instrumental in helping my husband and I navigate ADHD
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety before my ADHD was recognised, because my procrastination at work would lead to so much guilt and sense of failure that I would fantasise about stopping my presence on the planet as a means of avoiding the consequences.
Same here. Damn shame we didn't know all this earlier in life. Hope life is getting more manageable for you now that you know ❤
Same, I do not want to die, but I have lost the will to live. 8 hours in a noisy office, where I am the middle man between departments, make it very difficult to get things done. I always end up working more and more hours to catch up. This continues way past the point where my brain and body say "I am out of here, good luck". That's when I reach the fck it stage and I burn down everything because fck it, what's the point? This leads to my inevitable termination and I will have to start.... from scratch.... Again.... God damnit... Again.... You Idiot!
I have lost the will to do this over and over. just to do the 1 step forward 4 steps back thing. But.... I will find something else eventually, I will mask my way through it until I can't. The cycle continues. New round, new chances, as we say in the Netherlands
You are not alone❤
@@Remcore020 ouch yeah I really know that feeling well. I’m about there right now dreading having to show up in court tomorrow and pretend to be a normal person. And not be late. 8:30am is more like bedtime then be anywhere punctual time. Oh and here’s all my money too. 😒
I had the same depression, anxiety & panic attacks.. I eventually left my job, because I just felt like a failure.. I’m starting counselling this week.. My sister pointed out to me ADHD traits & it makes sense…wishing everyone all the best ..😊❤❤
After 38 years of believing all the negative comments about myself the TH-cam algorithm brought me and one of rox's videos on adhd quirks together. And it all just clicked.
Floordrobe, check.
Hideying up, check
No cook meals (chunks of cheese) around 16:30 when I should have eaten lunch at lunchtime, check.
Adhd walks, all of them, check.
Graveyard of hobbies, check.
Mostly late 5-15 min or 60 minutes early, check.
After researching adhd for a couple of weeks I was actually sure that this might actually be what has been going on. This coupled with my 6th crippling burnout in 10 years made me to contact my GP to have this checked out. It has been 14 months since my first appointment and received the diagnosis 2 weeks ago.
I went and visit my parents almost kind of excited, I finally figured out why I keep failing at life. Just to be crushed emotionally by their responses.
So mum, dad, I have been having my suspicions that my struggles are a cause of me having ADHD..... (Wanted to tell the rest of the story, dad interrupted, apples not falling far from the tree I guess)
Dad: The only reason you are a failure is because your mum did not allow me to beat you as much as I wanted to. If you would have had military service like me they would have beaten you punctual. You are just lazy..
Mum: that is just the way you are, you landed ok right?
This moment honestly made me lose the little respect I still had left for them. (Dad's a functioning alcoholic with violent streaks that dominates everyone in the family with his anger. Usually my mum is the target of his frustrations, it is always her fault. Mum's a lady with a troubled childhood situation at home who just enables my dad being a prick basically)
It made everything so clear why I am fckd up the way I am.
Why I don't trust anyone, especially myself.
Why I have a hard time asking for help.
Why I truly believe that talking about your problems is useless and will bite you in the end.
Why I always end up burning out.
Why I feel I have to work until I finished what I am supposed to have finished.
I feel like I have opened a new chapter, I am also skeptical I will get any better. I have grown to believe that it all turns to shit in the end.
Thanks Rox and Alex for the very important work you do. Know that if it wasn't for what you do. I would still struggle blissfully unaware, blaming myself for being a lazy idiot who can't get his shit straight. ❤
Thank you SO much for this, it means the world to read comments like this one x
I’m so sorry, that sounds like a truly traumatic childhood. You wrote so well about it, you are clearly NOT a failure, but a survivor. Big hugs from an Aussie internet stranger xx
@@simonebye6771 thanks love, much appreciated! it wasn't great, it wasn't all bad either. I hope one day they also realise they need help.
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Alex drove me to find a psychologist and now a psychiatrist and it has started to really change my life. I’m SO thankful to have stumbled upon him when I did. I knew I had ADHD (two of my girls do too) but I had never been diagnosed. I’m also slightly bipolar.
This is by far one of my favourite episodes, I have watched it over a few times due to getting distracted. Normally I don't go back to what I have missed. There were so many 'aha moments' and a few tears but it is so nice to find an understanding to things that I can't make sense of myself. And listening to other ADHDers with the same struggles just talk through it. I loved seeing Rox, Alex and Jo just sit down and chat, the professional perspective on ADHD struggles helped so much. I can't explain how gratful I am to have found this podcast. Makes the world of diiference
❤’ed this episode to tears!!! Rox was so darn relatable and Alex the host is awesome! Everytime I watch Alex and many episodes I really enjoy his personality and honesty and relate a lot to Alex when he outs himself and I appreciate that transparency and have learned so much from what he discusses and shares (Thank you Alex!!!). Rox’s story made me cry- because related so so so much to what she shared and family dynamics- I am also a singer songwriter and the family dynamics thing too- “Being sensitive in a non sensitive home” along with abuse and likely undiagnosed parent and brother for sure. What a life. So grateful to God that he allowed me to stumble on your channel Alex. It’s really good stuff and thank you so much for putting all this together ❤. I appreciate the recent female guests a lot.
I'm so happy you're watching, thank you! x
Diagnosed at 45 and as a female it was like a huge weight lifted however am also diagnosed with CPTSD due to a string of destructive relationships. Healing from the loss of a life full of unfulfilled potential, squashed creativity, exhaustion and burnout from working twice as hard to meet the standards and being vulnerable to seriously sick manipulative individuals. It's a lot. My best advice to anyone wrestling with this is adopt a regular self compassion practice and give yourself the same effort as you extend to others. We are different, not broken and different is good. Nowadays I fully embrace the delulu and live as my freerange authentic neurospicy self. We have always been enough. Big love ❤
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Well expressed. ❤❤❤❤❤
First of all l want you to know l cried at everything you have written & me l imagined all you have went through which sounds horrific 🩷 l am sending you a huge hug for all you have been through & have written, you should so proud that you have survived & are coming through all you have. It’s so important & so impressive. Please take this as a huge compliment, it truly is. I hope dealing with all your trauma is helping you in huge ways. I to believe l am AuAdhd, my daughter has just been diagnosed as well as my granddaughter who is a teenager. My daughter-in-law & one of my grandsons, she had him before getting with my son. His real bio dad has ADHD too. I have suspected l may have it/them both way before my daughter being diagnosed. My granddaughter was confiding in me until my daughter was diagnosed. My daughter kept her thoughts to herself until diagnosis. I now after much research think my son & many others like my sister, my brother & their children. Some refuse to look at it, l have even been banned talking about it with them. I was S.A. Rpd as an 11 & 12 year old by a neighbour & a year later by his brother. I told my parents they did nothing to protect me. I had to see them every day my school bus stopped at my stop he would get off the local bus behind my bus. It was one way to our homes, one long very long street. His house opposite. I lived in such fear. In a fright, flight, fear on a daily basis(5) days while at school & then the further two days at home l was terrified to be sent to the local shop, or for crisps & lemonade at the bowling club. I was terrified the whole time if l wasn’t at home. However my home was a violent, threatening, neglectful one. I believe that had something been done the first time the 2nd brother who lived in the same village may not have tried with me. So l blame my parents for sticking a siren 🚨 on my head to say “you can do anything to my daughter & nothing will happen!!!!!” 😞💔 I know l have PTSD l think it’s complex…..but not diagnosed. I have huge anxiety, OCD & am still discovering. I have Fibromyalgia which came when l discovered that my child had been RPD & many S.A. a second attempt RPE. Which was truly horrific & l knew in an instant what l needed to do because of my own. It was a son my mum had as she re-married. It happened all within my mums home at the time in Scotland, we live in England (because of my childhood & a young adult) We all think children are safe in our mums, when they are NOT!!! We went to the police & it all was in national newspapers in both countries. He was sentenced in 2002 & is still in place that help people like him. He can’t cope outside in the world. My two are doing amazing & are so strong & doing great. It split the family as in my mum etc which we were fine about. I also have Under-Active Thyroid Disease, Lymphedema, Lipedema, Full Body Neuralgic Nerve Pain. All diagnosed in the years after. I to was in violent both physically & mentally relationships. I now having lost my last partner to an accident & died & so l have spent the last 7 years on my own. I spent 8 years on my own prior to meeting him as we grew up together.
@@AquariusGirl27Oh darling I am so sorry for what you have experienced too. I do feel my family were not able to be what I needed in order to be safe and have the confidence to stand up for myself and take action, as they didn't when I was abused. You are tremendously strong and I have to add it's said that those who have it extremely hard are made for great things. We are the ones who break the cycle. Presently my only child is alienated from me by a sociopathic ex who is the father so my battle continues. Steel is forged in fire. Hold yourself high and shine bright lady. You are incredibly brave and deserve all your hearts desires for making it through all you have. Such a warrior ❤
@@AquariusGirl27PS I have atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia and CPTSD and sense the TN is as a result of the trauma. Gabor Mate's film The Wisdom of Trauma and Bessel van der Kolk in his book The Body Keeps The Score both speak about this. Look after yourself and definitely put on your own oxygen mask first. Learning to care for myself and treat myself well, listening to my body's needs was a revelation for me and I find mindful living lets me go about things in a way that no longer conflicts with my values. Much love your way x
Apologies for the compliment, but you guys are wonderful. Have helped me understand myself and yes, finally make an appointment for a psychiatrist. Thankyou SO much ❤
Love you Rox. It's because of you and your bubby that I learned so much wtf was wrong with me. 🎉I bought your 2 books and im loving to love and learn more about myself. You made my life so much easier❤❤❤❤❤
I cried for most of this podcast. Roxanne is so incredibly beautiful & resilient. I'm undiagnosed & really struggling at the minute but this podcast saves me. Thank you so much for this podcast, I appreciate it so much ❤
This is the most inspirational podcast I have listened to since I started my exploration into trying to understand what ADHD is. It is educational, informative, thought provoking, considerate and compassionate.
It is the weaving of the theories by the medical expert beautifully interspersed with real life examples from Alex and Rox that make this podcast outstanding.
I have listened to many of Alex’s podcasts, all very enlightening, and enjoyable, but this one was extra special.
I came to this channel when my grandson was diagnosed with ADHD, and on my journey I discovered that I have always had it, and that my daughter has all the symptoms too. This is going to help us so much as a family. I now understand why I behave the way I do, and more importantly, why I react to life the way I do. Now I need to find a way to share all this with my daughter. She will relate so well to Rox - she’s just a few years older, and life is a real struggle for her because she has never been diagnosed.
But now, with or without a diagnosis, she will be able to identify her struggles in Rox’s story and hopefully be inspired by how amazingly well Rox has done. It’s never too late.
Thank you so much for sharing your life stories - we really really appreciate it.
My father loved me to pieces at a time when ADHD or even ADD didnt exist as a diagnosis. He did his best to support my efforts even though a lot of my behavior appeared insensitive, uncaring, and without even an attempt at motivation. He always, always loved me and I broke his heart over and over - but was powerless to stop it. That's why I have Daddy issues.
I belief your father would like his daughter to forgive herself more often
I came across your content recently, and it’s really opened up my eyes to the possibility that I have ADHD. There are so many experiences described here that really hit home! ❤
PS- Rox’s solution of allowing themself to ideate all the business ideas they have to get them out of the system whether they happen or not, is so brilliant.
Dr. Jo perkins is great
Just a comment about being late. I do try very hard to not be late because there is a horrible sense of guilt. My parents , in conversation with people, would always have to mention that I'm always late. Feeling judged by my own family really cut deep. I wasn't diagnosed until I was a young adult.
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My entire family runs late, so it was normal in my immediate family, but the very real consequences in the outside world are hard enough as-is.
If no one dies, chill!
@@ruthbarr3159truer words have never been spoken. Just don't say this to your manager, it never ends well
Not a professional, but just an observation, that lots of neurospicies partner to other neurospicies - but not always in ways that mesh well. Rox's dad might have been on the autism spectrum and struggled with the chaos that ADHD brings. I'm AuDHD and the internal battles are something to behold. It really resonated when I heard that anything we achieve we dismiss as 'anyone can do that' or just heave a sigh of relief for actually finishing something, we don't celebrate
Awesome stuff. I'm hoping that, one day, this channel will make a video specifically aimed at the partners of those who have to live with someone who struggles with ADHD, to help them have a greater understanding of how to interact with that person.
That already exists. Check the videos posted, there are a couple of couples interviews that address exactly that.
@mariosnic they're useful by accident. I'm wary of making my partner sit through many hours of material looking for useful nuggets when she's already resistant to accepting ADHD in general.
Not to mention the pain of rewatching the entire channel just to pull up those critical points... that aren't aimed at long-suffering partners in the first place.
Rox has a channel! : ADHD LOVE. You will enjoy her videos with her partner!! Scroll back tho, so you dont miss the beginning of their journey ❤
Great video, I've seen others with Rox and really resonate with a lot of her experiences (which is good and bad at the same time). I haven't watched all of this yet though as I keep having to go back to the beginning due to being distracted by and in awe of Jo Perkins amazing sitting posture! I wish I could sit like that!
She's brilliant, isn't she!
I am proud of you and your mum surely would be, Rox. You're an incredible human being with your helpful and not so helpful traits. You're a complex woman like most people are. Thank you for all you do
I can relate so much.. Rox popped out on my FB reels for some reason and I was hooked! Thanks to her I believe that I have ADHD. I’m not going to get an official diagnosis because I’m not sure why but it’s so nice to finally understand myself on this level. It’s a huge relief. And it makes me a better mum to my daughter who definitely has ADHD as well. I’m much more sensitive to her needs. Thank you both for speaking up and healing something in people! ❤❤
Or, you don’t believe the compliment because it feels like you’re either going to be manipulated soon for something, or it just feels “fake”or disingenuous.
I'm AuDHD and grew up with all the kinds of abuse. I relate to being a sensitive kid in a non sensitive household! Realizing the relationships I had with my Narc parents was a scam - through therapy - has actually turned everything upside down as now at 39 I'm still unbound to anyone here really and have taken a spiritual path as after having some amazing therapy with my first true therapist, others don't get it and made me feel worse. I trained as a therapist myself and lost my bearings when my therapist retired. I'm not sure if it always helps when you can't find someone who gets all of your complex differences. It's dangerous to open the can of worms when no one seems to be able to help you close it again. Don't settle for the wrong person peeps, there are probably more options in bigger countries than mine, if it feels like it's not helping then listen to yourself!! I hope we can all find our way to peace
This podcast is powerfully relatable. Thank you so much, you three! ❤
Thank you for your content.
There is research that PTSD, and perhaps CPTSD, can cause adult onset ADHD. Now I’m wondering if PTSD can exacerbate ADHD. And I googled just now and there is research that there is a bidirectional relationship between PTSD and ADHD - meaning one can impact the other.
Thank you so much for this episode. I’ve just found your channel. I’m so excited that these types of discussions are happening!
I think it's truest to say ptsd/cptsd can cause similar traits to ADHD, but also very frequently, ADHD will be a direct or indirect cause of Ptsd/cptsd, including the undiagnosed ADHD of parents.
Rox and Rich are awesome! I love their videos, books and, now, their podcast!
Thank you soooooo much to the 3 of you!!! What you are doing is saving lives!!! Really. ❤
Extreme empathy for others 🙌
I was sent to a time management seminar in Leicester, got on the wrong train in Nottingham and ended up in Newark. I managed to arrive about 5 mins from the end. The other participants thought it was a joke!
It’s possible Roxe didn’t feel totally safe or secure around her father. Children, at their core, are driven by a need for safety, and when that’s in question, they often try hard to please the parent who feels harder to reach. They’re looking for love, security, and approval, even if it means focusing on the parent they struggle to connect with.
Despite her mother’s warmth and love, it seems that the dynamic with her father might have put up walls, making it harder for Roxe to fully embrace that connection. It’s a natural survival instinct - children can sometimes put up barriers between themselves and the love that’s right in front of them because they’re focused on emotional survival.
This isn’t about blame, it’s about understanding. Children’s emotional needs shape how they navigate relationships. It takes time and trust to break down those walls. So glad she found true love with her boyfriend Richard ❤
Thank you Rox for this hugely relatable and personal podcast!
24:48 if you’re traumatized over long period of time (e.g. by parents negligence or 20 000 negative comments etc) it’s called complex PTSD (CPTSD). Check Pete Walker’s book “Complex PTSD. From surviving to thriving: a guide and map for recovering from childhood trauma”. It’s really helpful!
I do love how the title and intro made it seem like there was conflict between the guests when there really wasn’t lol I get it’s for the algorithm- what a lovely conversation
I know I am going to like( learn somentig from ) this before listening.
Great episode, just feel the psychologist was off the mark a little when she talked about neurodivergents slowly coming to realisations gradually of 'this may not be in alignment with me and my core' after doing the work and introspection, it's very often the case that ADHD and dysregulated emotionally can feel nothing and have no awareness then have sudden impulsive out of the blue moments of drastic life changes like careers, relationships out of nowhere. Mine is locations! I've noticed a common thing is people having intense sudden urges to uproot, move cities, move countries, move home, start again or quit a job, quit a relationship for something new and it can come straight out of left field and can be incredibly confusing
One ADHD question was do you feel as if you are sometimes being driven, as if by a motor? That hit so hard
Have you ever got somewhere early but got distracted in your waiting place (even a foyer) and ended up being late after all? I hate it so much!
Rox has had so much impact on me and my adhd and my life as an adher. Her and Richard both with their videos helped me understand what was going on with me and it made me feel less alone bc no one had really gone over adhd that looked like mine. I would love to give them a massive hug and a custom furby 🥲💙💖
this was amazing
One of my best friends was recently diagnosed with NPD, she IS in therapy and she IS working on herself.
I've stopped telling one of my friends now about the things I'm discovering on my ADHD journey. I was diagnosed with autism last year and since I've learnt about what ADHD is through rox and her videos and Alex and his podcast. I've learnt so much that I want to share with someone like my friend or my mum or my husband. But I just feel like my friend doesn't get it. I think because I've got a life where I'm doing okish she can't see how I could possibly have either of them. Also because my autism masks my ADHD somewhat that's another reason she can't see it. She just sees what's on the surface. I've worked hard all my life, I've got my own home, husband and family. But without my support network of my mum and husband I think I'd have carried on chasing romantic relationships, probably have a number of kids and be a single parent, mentally I've had a lot of problems and since my kids came along my ADHD symptoms have become worse. I think some of the reason people don't accept the neurodivergent people is because of what was disgusting that people just don't know enough about it, they don't know what's going on internally with us and trying to convince people ive learnt is hurting ourselves because where we are looking for validation and someone stamps on that it hurts it's like the RSD. I love watching these pod casts and feel validated and like I know I have my own tribe out there. It's very comforting thank you @adhd_chatter_podcast you really have. Changed my life for the better and I'm able to help my kids too. They are too young currently to want to listen to this podcast but I will never forget it and am currently writing letters for them for if a time ever comes and I can't be here... I'll be including this in this channel's name to help them with all their ADHD worries. ❤
i was hoping to hear Rox a lot more
Alex, I've rarely been called "not enough." I'm usually referred to as "too much."
I wish there were a lot more of the better therapists. I'm pretty put off of most of them seeming to want to push you down their own personal cookie cutter processes with no regard to what actually works for you individually. Plus they don't get ADHD, and they basically find all kinds of different ways to say, "you just need to do the things(s) you keep telling me you are having a problem doing". Zero help, and actually harms.
The struggle with compliments for me isn't really RSD. It's confusion- I'm often complimented for things that come easy to me with zero effort, and reprimanded for things that I put massive effort into. So it doesn't match my internal experience, and adds to the feeling that I'm different from other people, which makes me feel lonely and unseen.
Hey Rox, As a dad, have you ever thought that he thinks all of the thinks you went through as “his fault”. My daughter is struggling and I’m listening and fighting to put my own issues behind. And I feel like it’s my fault 🤦♂️ so it would not surprise me 42:14
Yeah- you were wrong about the consequences of being late. It has DESTROYED my life and relationships! I literally was recently punished by a friggin doctors office! Long story but because of my evidence people believe me! I’ve had to change my hairdresser of 35 years. I’ve have to remake appts that are nearly impossible to do. The worst for my emotional state is the fact that not a single member of my family has been supportive. All my brothers in laws family think I’m rude. EVERYONE does!!! I found out the only way I’ve been able to leave at a good hour was when I had help! People pushing me out the door. When you’re by yourself there is no help. And PLEASE don’t say set alarms! It’s gotten to the point I have zero idea why an alarm is going off cause I have so many. Being late has given me crippling anxiety every single time I have to make an appt with anyone. And I have a hell of a lot of appts I’m always having to make! So what’s the worst that can happen? Everyone hates you, you make people lose money and time, and every last one of them thinks I’m doing it on purpose! I have a lot of issues but right now this is the worst and I’ve been this way since elementary school! Literally until recently still had dreams about running to the bus for school and always barely making it. Time blindness is a very huge issue, particularly here in America. Society is not gray on this topic. There’s only one opinion- if you’re late you get punished in any matter of ways and they are much worse than the constant detentions I got for being late and for all the times being kicked out of class for talking! I mean it was all bad but being late is a huge NO-NO and NOONE gives you the benefit of the doubt! I’ve stopped telling people why I’m late-just wastes oxygen!
Yes, I was removed from a post-grad program, fired multiple times, had friends and family reprimand me, etc. It’s the worst feeling, because the consequences are so bad.
My heart is aching for you. The solution for me was to move to a remote farm, away from all the pressures of town life. Am aware that this isn't everyone's cup of tea, but a big plus is that I've discovered that a lot of folks that have chosen to live remote have similar issues and are a lot more accepting. It doesn't solve my issues but lessens them which is such an incredible relief. Hope you find a way to ease your pain ❤
@@leilap2495I’m always so sorry when someone knows the pain! It would be a lot better if there was real help for us! If one more person tells me to wake up earlier or leave earlier I will totally lose it! Maybe we can overcome one day🤞
@@suecollins357thank you so much! It really sucks when people understand the pain! Living in the middle of nowhere sounds actually amazing, but I know myself and I isolate big time, so probably not the best idea for me-but it’s such a good idea!!!
Intent doesn’t negate impact. There is a lot of talk about the individual with ADHD however, very little is ever said about the psychological impact, whether intentional or not, their actions have on the other person in the relationship. The spouse on the other side of the love bombing, stuck picking up all the pieces, finishing the incomplete projects, taken for granted, forgotten about until they conveniently coincide with the latest hyperfocus.
I took the intent discussion to be more about diagnosis of adhd vs being narcissistic, not about excusing anything or denying that impact matters most. ❤
This is clearly just my opinion but the person going through whatever it is has is HARDER! I can ASSURE you! Now would I ever marry someone like me? Hell no! It would be impossible. But there are people like me who wish everyday they were normal and didn’t make everyone mad.most of us have been told our entire lives we were bad people for having symptoms of an illness. So, while I do feel sorry for partners, you’re not going to find many people who are glad they have this and didn’t wish with every ounce of their soul they could wish it away!
My parents had zero understanding for me when I was little only grief😢
That’s pretty much what my psychiatrist said to me too Alex
Ah yes...the praise issue. I really struggle to accept, take in, praise. I just can't see it. An example is my photography...people give me compliments about it, yet I cannot see "it", not only that, I also squirm like crazy when i get praise, any praise, an extremely awkward uncomfortable feeling for me.
I recently thought there is no such thing as "high-funtional" ADHD or Depression or Austism, it really is "high-masking". After I had my ADHD diagnosis I realised that I´ve been masking from a really young age, thinking back proparbly age 4/5. I had no idea who I really was and what I did every minute of everyday to be(seem) like a funtional "normal" person.
I do the exact same thing with my fingers that Alex does. Since I was a child.
😢😢Awaiting diagnosis this year age 55 at last
Hells yea 🔥 poppin’ purple pyjamas lady 🥰
It’s not lack of confidence to book a therapy appointment, it’s lack of NHS provision and lack of funding to go private.
I’m really struggling right now. I feel like such a failure. I’m making progress but slower than people my age (I’m 19). I am trying but my family always speaks down to me and I feel like what’s the point of trying.
Many people get angry when you’re late because they take it as a personal slight - disrespected. But I guess that makes them an unsafe person?
Personally, I don't feel like ADHD and narcissistic personality disorder necessary "overlap". But what I really wonder is if narcissists often target ADHDers - especially women - because of their masking of being a "good girl", and the huge amounts of empathy. The masking woman takes on all the responsibility for making the relationship work...which the narcissist thrives on.
Oh my yes, if you could see how amazing my cupboards and silverware drawer are! I’ve only wasted about 13 hours reorganizing it all 37 times in the past few months. 😞
I have other problems with my dad. He is overly sappy and very immature. He never saw me as me. I was his “little girl” and he tried so hard to control me. I spent more time with him as a kid than my mom because his executive function was so low that he spent most of his time like a Ferrari revving on bricks. I would have liked him to accept me exactly as I am and treat my mom nicer. My problems with my dad are more like most people’s issues with their mom and vice versa. My mom had to work. I felt like my dad stole my mom from me, as he set up the business that my mom went to everyday because he couldn’t follow through and he was a freelance artist.
Still not sure how and when to get a diagnosis. I am pretty sure for quite a long time now that I am different and that it's ADHD or even paired with autism. Looking back at my time as a teen... It seems that I was never somewhat right. I was labeled lazy, messy, chaotic, crybaby, too sensitive, too clumsy. In the end I basically never lived like others could, I didn't make a lot of experiences, especially not successful ones and the result was depression/anxiety even bipolar symptoms in my mid twenties. Overall there is a huge amount of selfhate stored inside me but where I live there is hardly a specialist who would even care about ADHD.
Greetings from Germany
I'm sorry you're going through this, I totally hear you. Dealing with adhd or autism is definitely something you can't go through alone. Check to see if you can get a diagnosis from another country. I live in Italy and I can't find a specialist here, let alone one who speaks English! I have been seeing a psychologist in Belgium and I'm now looking for an adhd specialist in the UK. They won't be able to prescribe me with medication because that has to come from inside your country (I think) but I can get a diagnosis. Also, they will have to be private which will most likely be expensive. xxx
@@kuraikomoon5258 Unfortunately, there is no blood test that can say, "aha! There it is! You have " There are, however, screening mechanisms for which a qualified mental health practitioner can refer you. Mine was done the same day I brought up my suspicion of ADHD, on a computer. It was quick and, I suppose, relatively easy, or I felt it ought to have been. Personally, I felt frustrated and like I was doing it wrong--but, as it turned out, that's what showed my inattentive/impulsive traits. Best wishes in sorting out yours, my friend. I, too, deal with a multitude of disorders, so you have my empathy, for whatever it's worth.
Yes I rang 999 when I had my worst panic attack so it’s great to see I’m not alone with that because I got the piss taken out of me for that and that is strange , if you feel like your going to die I think it’s problematic to not ring 999 because you would be accepting the possibility of death
@ADHD_chatter_podcast
Hi Alex, could you please talk about the impact of Dyslexia and Dyscalculia and how that complicates the mind and the caffeinated squirrels? Thank you.
Errrrrrrr - is there a reason that you have a copy of Razzle on the shelf behind your guests? Have I missed something>
I can't watch this because I find the host's fiddling utterly infuriating. I shall listen!
Hyperfocus can lead you to appear extremely productive such that you can perhaps too easily hide your neurodivergence... especially if that lies directly along your career vector. But the unpredictability is just awful..
I've been to over 1000 ERs begging for my life. No one in America will help me. They all say ADD isn't something an adult can have.
Bpd alco parents created my adhd...my mother was abandoned at age 8...ive cured myself..its taken decades...but my son has id and adhd and autism...his birth was awful low oxygen and a heart clip dented his head which hospital said could not have caused all his ear infections...bs...stress makes folks restless irritable and discontent when theres no safety or secure safe adults...its awful
i have the confidence to book a therapy appointment, just not the money. :(
The code for Tiimo is not accepted
Drugs and Alcohol and other substances, just mask our needs that are not being met. I need to feel safe, not drugged up.
Haha! Ok, new twist on your Timo app.
really value the insights and discussions in this podcast, but I was taken aback by the dynamic in [specific part of the episode]. It struck me as patronizing when [specific action/statement] occurred-particularly the idea of explaining someone else’s emotions or directing them to justify their feelings.
As someone who resonates with the principles of grounded theory, I believe the power lies in listening and creating space for others to express their truths, not speaking for them. The dynamic felt especially troubling considering the broader societal patterns where men often tell women how they feel. I bring this up not to diminish the overall quality of the discussion but to encourage reflection on how power dynamics-especially around gender-can unintentionally come through even in respectful dialogue.
Thank you for sparking this important conversation; I’d love to hear thoughts or reflections on this!
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I've been criticized for not believing a compliment. You can't win.
Sorry for my original, now deleted, comment
Thank you for your content
The psychologist has it she was trying to cure herself so she got the quals...
Hasn't Jo got beautiful movements.
Lol i have about 25 domain names myself
It might not get acknowledged because the parents or significant other is a narcissist and will not do well with being associated with a “problematic person” because they only surround themselves with their idea of perfection - including their own adult children. Just an idea…..
I’m afraid a million people can be wrong… Brexit, fascism, every religion, the list is endless …
Just not about Rox's music! 😺
I'm tired of her
You don't have to listen...
Letter from previous guest....hmm....seems very inspired by diary of a ceo....sadly not original...a shame
Or Steven Bartlett stole it from Alex of course. Or they both stole the idea from a n other.