So true!!! I attended a prosperity church for 7 years that asked for so much money it was ridiculous. I became resentful to God. But it was never God in the first place. Giving out of guilt is never good!!! The bible says to give out according to what You have decided in your heart not out of compulsion or reluctancy for God loves a cheerful giver.
In summary: The more you give, the more others expect, and the less they appreciate it. The less you give, the less others will expect, and the more they will appreciate it.
What do you do when you continue to give even when you know consciously it won't be reciprocated? I've been stuck in a habit of over giving unconditionally and taking random initiatives when it is not asked for. The reasons behind it are either a combination if empathy, acceptance and some form of duty. I'm a good reader of human behavior and have great critical thinking abilities - yet knowing that it will not be emotionally reciprocated, I still continue to be altruistic and over give. I keep hurting myself emotionally when I don't understand why people don't take initiatives the way I do, which I know is not fair to them - but there are times when the people around me notice that I am either overwhelmed or I need help, yet they never take the initiative - i'm still struggling to understand that human behavior and I still give to them knowing that I cant count on them in the future when i would need them.
Thank you kindly for your supportive words! I am definitely at a stage in life when I am reinventing the way I give and acknowledging to myself first of all that something has gone out of balance. I feel much more empowered to choose differently!
Where have I been? Here you were all the time. Finally I take my seat and have shut my mouth but my ears and heart is open! I feel the truth of your words and I appreciate your gift! Thank you! 👌🏽👍🏽👏🏾
Thanks Sheila, this has helped me set the record straight.Hard to pull back but I am !doing so (from my adult chldren).They're none too pleased , of course
I would love to hang out with you, you have a precious, kind, spirit. Sending you love and thanks for the help. Getting a little bit healthier every day.
Thank you so much for this video. I was completely confused how I ended up in the over giving vortex again.. I think this time I’ve been giving to ‘fill up’ my own needs and desires but only felt emptier every time. Thank you, I had a few very helpful insights because of your video ❤️🙏🏽
I really had to protect my giving spirit...would've torn me apart if I continued. I just stopped...even when I had more to give. That cessation made me understand what was truly at hand, from multiple facets, not just mine and what I hoped would be. Thank you for the video!
We have to give with the right motive! I give according to 2 Corinthians 9 verse 7 and 8. I am a Christian . Do not give expecting anything. Of course there will be blessings.😍😍😍
Thank for helping me personally to back off on my focus of myself & those in my direct contact. & 'Wideden the lens of my perspective . I Now See myself, my own motivation behind some of my deeds were Not as pure as I had Believed them to be. NOW I Am CHANGING ,THAT,I AM. with Peace&Love4 all as we R aLL of the sAMe 'ONE'.
I appreciate you giving viewers your time, energies and sound counsel. It keeps us lifted in these dark days. Thanks for the admonition. Hope you had a wonderful vacation.
Yes. Thank you I had a great break. This is work that I love. I appreciate the support. Without the subscribers I am just a woman talking to myself...which is okay...but I prefer some company; lol! Stay lifted my friend.
Thank You Sheila for taking your time to make these videos and share your experiences, wisdom, solutions. You continuously touch the core of what is going on in my life and how I am feeling or what people are doing to bring chaos and extreme stress my life. Your knowledge and expertise is such a value and you have helped pull me through the conflicting thoughts in my head and you put me back on path. I really appreciate what you do....Can't Thank You enough. ~ Hugs L
When you do a lot for people they expect it. And when you don't do things for them, they become upset...this is my experiences. I am tired of making the effort. I am going to start having conversations with friends. I was confusing this with other people being selfish and taking advantage of me. The gimme, gimme and hyperstate of expectancy hit home. I will be using the term "hyperstate of expectancy" now. Sometimes this is true but it is me.
I learned the hard way through sheer exhaustion. I've never liked the feeling of keeping score, yet I do pay attention to the energy that comes back to me"or not"... I have given myself full permission to stop overdoing and over giving. My life has improved tremendously. I had to own that much of the Giving was out of habit and people pleasing tendencies. All too often the warmth and kindness became expectations. Boundaries are a good friends today. Some people left my life when they realized I was no longer willing to be a doormat....The Lord replaced them all!
typical person that you give to...their thinking: what else can I get. Time, attention, money, things... How can I take advantage of this person? I have learnt to give to givers, not takers. Also, I don't "give" ppl 2nd, 3rd etc chance bc they will expect you to give them a 100th chance...and thus you will become their doormat.
Bart .. I could not agree more. I see that people are wired to take advantage of generosity. Keep doing what you are doing and set boundaries!! Thanks for your support!
Yes...thank you..you can send a note to sunburst7000@ gmail.com.... for a p.o. box please send and email and I will respond. Thanks for thinking of me!
Man. I went to visit my Aunt in the hospital because she very ill. She's was up one day in the bed and told me I'm not studin you, I don't care about you coming to see me empty handed. Bring something a soda food or something 😮. After that I could feel that hate. She only calls when she needs food or ride. So I've learned to say no. It was hard but you can't let people just do you like that. Even Jesus said no. After he feed the people they came back. He replied you come because you think I have more fish. But I'm the meat eat of me
❤thanks for your comment! I'm sorry this happened to you. She sounds entitled and that is the worst position for anyone to assume...you did the right thing!
i was nt try in rush into something but I knew guy was with issues s had close bond with me sexually i play a long with it he had ex thats toxic he always does him low key he was nt bad but he was surrounded by bad energy I had to cut loose he s crazy stalking me on social media telling ppl stuff
So true!!! I attended a prosperity church for 7 years that asked for so much money it was ridiculous. I became resentful to God. But it was never God in the first place. Giving out of guilt is never good!!! The bible says to give out according to what You have decided in your heart not out of compulsion or reluctancy for God loves a cheerful giver.
I'm so happy you saw the truth...stay encouraged...Much love..sheila!
In summary: The more you give, the more others expect, and the less they appreciate it. The less you give, the less others will expect, and the more they will appreciate it.
Well said in a nutshell! We train people on what to expect.
True. That's the sum up I got too. Actually been very guilty of this, but got past it now.
What do you do when you continue to give even when you know consciously it won't be reciprocated? I've been stuck in a habit of over giving unconditionally and taking random initiatives when it is not asked for. The reasons behind it are either a combination if empathy, acceptance and some form of duty. I'm a good reader of human behavior and have great critical thinking abilities - yet knowing that it will not be emotionally reciprocated, I still continue to be altruistic and over give. I keep hurting myself emotionally when I don't understand why people don't take initiatives the way I do, which I know is not fair to them - but there are times when the people around me notice that I am either overwhelmed or I need help, yet they never take the initiative - i'm still struggling to understand that human behavior and I still give to them knowing that I cant count on them in the future when i would need them.
I guess its all about realising that putting urself first is ok, and it iw the way to be..I hope u r in a better place now
Thank you kindly for your supportive words! I am definitely at a stage in life when I am reinventing the way I give and acknowledging to myself first of all that something has gone out of balance. I feel much more empowered to choose differently!
wonderful!
Where have I been? Here you were all the time. Finally I take my seat and have shut my mouth but my ears and heart is open! I feel the truth of your words and I appreciate your gift! Thank you! 👌🏽👍🏽👏🏾
Thanks Sheila, this has helped me set the record straight.Hard to pull back but I am !doing so (from my adult chldren).They're none too pleased , of course
Just discovered you this evening...been watching and taking notes in my journal. Thank you for your wisdom.
Thank you so much.
Losing my mind.
I found your video and gained some sanity back.
Your amazing.
Givers attract takers. I’ve learnt the hard way. 😢
Hi
I would love to hang out with you, you have a precious, kind, spirit. Sending you love and thanks for the help. Getting a little bit healthier every day.
Sheila, you have a sense of humor no one can beat :(
+Baba Tee Thank you.....laughter is a key to life! stay encouraged..
Thank you so much for this video. I was completely confused how I ended up in the over giving vortex again.. I think this time I’ve been giving to ‘fill up’ my own needs and desires but only felt emptier every time.
Thank you, I had a few very helpful insights because of your video ❤️🙏🏽
I really had to protect my giving spirit...would've torn me apart if I continued. I just stopped...even when I had more to give. That cessation made me understand what was truly at hand, from multiple facets, not just mine and what I hoped would be. Thank you for the video!
Pulling back provides us with an opportunity to observe and break unhealthy patterns...
It’s how much love we put into the giving . Wow
Yes ma'am!!!!! Xo
People pleasing hurts. It's a one way street to unhappiness.
This is surely your calling Sheila. God bless you abundantly.
We have to give with the right motive! I give according to 2 Corinthians 9 verse 7 and 8. I am a Christian . Do not give expecting anything. Of course there will be blessings.😍😍😍
On point Shelia !..Thanks YOU I learned this the hard way...you right people start expecting and hardly or never give back.
Be on your guard... and stay lifted...don't let your relationships fall out of balance.
Why those type of so called friends always check back ..?catching you after or when you have healed a bit ?
Thank for helping me personally to back off on my focus of myself & those in my direct contact. & 'Wideden the lens of my perspective . I Now See myself, my own motivation behind some of my deeds were Not as pure as I had Believed them to be. NOW I Am CHANGING ,THAT,I AM.
with Peace&Love4 all as we R aLL of the sAMe 'ONE'.
Thank you! 🙏
Thank you so much. I am deeply touched by your loving thoughts and gracious giving.
- Maria from the Philippines 🙏
How kind!!!! Ty ever so much!!
sheila i really want to thank you your the best keep making your videos you help so many people god bless you
thank you for sharing this important feedback!
Thank you.
Thank you!
Spot on!! I’m so over it!!!
I appreciate you giving viewers your time, energies and sound counsel. It keeps us lifted in these dark days. Thanks for the admonition. Hope you had a wonderful vacation.
Yes. Thank you I had a great break. This is work that I love. I appreciate the support. Without the subscribers I am just a woman talking to myself...which is okay...but I prefer some company; lol! Stay lifted my friend.
Your warm honesty is so refreshing and educational...thank you; you are helping me so much
Thank you for all the effort! Hope you are well and doing great🙏🏻
Thank you so much for this video. I need it to hear this.
You are so welcome! xo
The story of my life...but, that is changing. Great video! Thank you
amazing advice!
Thank You Sheila for taking your time to make these videos and share your experiences, wisdom, solutions. You continuously touch the core of what is going on in my life and how I am feeling or what people are doing to bring chaos and extreme stress my life. Your knowledge and expertise is such a value and you have helped pull me through the conflicting thoughts in my head and you put me back on path. I really appreciate what you do....Can't Thank You enough. ~ Hugs L
Wow, this hit home.
I over gave for years and got nothing but a headache for it... what's more those that I over gave to did not appreciate it...❤❤
Thanks Sheila, hard lesson learned. I rather donate or give to orphans and strangers..it gives me more joy!
This is one of your most important videos. Can you please create more videos on this topic? Thank you.
I have some more videos planned on this topic...specifically why we do this and how to break the cycle...Thank you for supporting the channel!
Yay another video. Welcome back from vacation Sheila, been watching for you to post new videos!
More to come! As always I appreciate the support!
thank you
Accepting the minimum from someone you have extended for, is a sign that you either defend yourself or simply move on. Some folks are just takers
Truth!!!😇😇😇😇
Yes definitely, givers give takers take sad but true!
When you do a lot for people they expect it. And when you don't do things for them, they become upset...this is my experiences. I am tired of making the effort. I am going to start having conversations with friends. I was confusing this with other people being selfish and taking advantage of me. The gimme, gimme and hyperstate of expectancy hit home. I will be using the term "hyperstate of expectancy" now. Sometimes this is true but it is me.
I learned the hard way through sheer exhaustion. I've never liked the feeling of keeping score, yet I do pay attention to the energy that comes back to me"or not"... I have given myself full permission to stop overdoing and over giving. My life has improved tremendously. I had to own that much of the Giving was out of habit and people pleasing tendencies. All too often the warmth and kindness became expectations. Boundaries are a good friends today. Some people left my life when they realized I was no longer willing to be a doormat....The Lord replaced them all!
You are fantastic!!!!! Can you please do a video on overcoming self-doubt?
Of course I can!!! Thank you for supporting the channel... I will tackle this topic within the next week!
Thank you for this video:)!
Thank you for watching and enjoy the holidays!
wow! yes that was an sobering reality this is why I feel used so often. they are looking for the next goodie bag like what else can I get....wow true😒
typical person that you give to...their thinking: what else can I get. Time, attention, money, things... How can I take advantage of this person? I have learnt to give to givers, not takers. Also, I don't "give" ppl 2nd, 3rd etc chance bc they will expect you to give them a 100th chance...and thus you will become their doormat.
Bart .. I could not agree more. I see that people are wired to take advantage of generosity. Keep doing what you are doing and set boundaries!! Thanks for your support!
You don't know me But I know you ,you helping change me thx
thank you for the wonderful comment!
You have helped me a lot. Is there anyway to contact you to send you a note/letter/email? Thank you Sheila.
Yes...thank you..you can send a note to sunburst7000@ gmail.com.... for a p.o. box please send and email and I will respond. Thanks for thinking of me!
I am giving to much but I am trapped in a situation that will be really bad for the person I am helping if I stop...
INDEED 👏🏾
What about the outcome of making this mistake? Have you ever helped people who became phobic or afraid of being used and discarded?
yes.. the healing takes a long time ..yet it's worth the journey. I plan to make more videos on this topic!
Man. I went to visit my Aunt in the hospital because she very ill. She's was up one day in the bed and told me I'm not studin you, I don't care about you coming to see me empty handed. Bring something a soda food or something 😮. After that I could feel that hate. She only calls when she needs food or ride. So I've learned to say no. It was hard but you can't let people just do you like that. Even Jesus said no. After he feed the people they came back. He replied you come because you think I have more fish. But I'm the meat eat of me
❤thanks for your comment! I'm sorry this happened to you. She sounds entitled and that is the worst position for anyone to assume...you did the right thing!
@@SheilaRobinsonKiss Thank you very much! I appreciate you!
i was nt try in rush into something but I knew guy was with issues s had close bond with me sexually i play a long with it he had ex thats toxic he always does him low key he was nt bad but he was surrounded by bad energy I had to cut loose he s crazy stalking me on social media telling ppl stuff
Mother Theresa wasn’t a saint either 🥴
facts💯💯💯
Thank you