Signs that You are a PICK ME : Desperate Behaviors That Repel Men

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 282

  • @actuallyterry
    @actuallyterry 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +402

    I was a Pick me until I decided to Pick me instead of others.

    • @damsykl
      @damsykl 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      That’s a good one😂❤️

    • @ursulamuller6440
      @ursulamuller6440 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      I did the same. Picking myself for 10 years now. No man around wanting to pick a pick-myself woman. What now? Alone for the rest of my life? I offer to myself the lifestyle I'd like to receive from a man. But no man around wanting to offer it to me. So what?

    • @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living
      @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Excellent sentence! It’s 100% okay to be a pick me girl for yourself instead of for others. 😊

    • @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living
      @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ursulamuller6440👏👏👏👏

    • @abigaillopez1410
      @abigaillopez1410 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well said 💯

  • @kiaraeijo
    @kiaraeijo 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +396

    I was a Pick Me Girl in my teens and twenties and even with my platonic friendships with men, I was always the one defending them, I always lifted them up, I was always there for them when they needed me but they didn’t do the same for me. Now in my 30’s, I have realized that when you don’t give attention to a man, that’s when he pays attention to you

    • @maryamadedeji24
      @maryamadedeji24 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      What is pick me girl? And why is it bad

    • @kiaraeijo
      @kiaraeijo 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +40

      @@maryamadedeji24 A Pick Me Girl is when you’re the one chasing the guy around, you’re basically courting the guy but they don’t do anything for you, and a Pick Me Girl always people pleases and compromises who she is so that the man can accept her.

    • @dkoz8321
      @dkoz8321 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      like cats

    • @a.b.2405
      @a.b.2405 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@maryamadedeji24lol watch the video???

    • @mashka4586
      @mashka4586 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      Sad reality - the more you care the less they want

  • @ingwerminze
    @ingwerminze 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +113

    I was a full blown pick me. Landed me in a marriage with a narcissist where I forgot who I was while caring for his child. After I found out about his multiple affairs I moved out. Best decision of my life.

  • @amyl5250
    @amyl5250 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    I love how you are not patronising at all and you speak to your audience almost like an older sister. Like you love us and want us all to be the best. No gatekeeping on how to be in our most feminine and self-respecting persona. It is really beautiful. Thank you Lisa 🥰

  • @ST-rj8iu
    @ST-rj8iu 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +59

    I had poor boundaries and didn't even know it. My physical health suffered, and I finally woke up. Me first!

    • @sonias9722
      @sonias9722 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It will make your physical and financial health go downhill!!

    • @bumblebee_ms
      @bumblebee_ms 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @ST-rj8iu - Me too, mine too. I woke up too and I wish I did much earlier in life.

  • @reflexxuns767
    @reflexxuns767 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +59

    I just recently came across your channel, and I am so impressed! I am a 67 year old woman, and I have to say, you make so much sense. You are correct when you said that it used to be that a man had to work harder to impress a woman and win her heart. I can tell you that my best relationships mean that I have my own thoughts and principles that I refuse to compromise on. For some reason, this fascinates men. I chuckle when I think about a number of men in my life saying that they appreciated me for being able to put them in their place. I am not unkind, but I am honest.
    Thank you so much for what you're doing.
    Ladies, listen up, this young woman knows what she's talking about.

  • @jumadamuharram
    @jumadamuharram 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +46

    Guilty in most my life and still deal with these moments. Not just in relationships but with family and friends. This video is great and needs to be shared. ❤

  • @missn111
    @missn111 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    This video is pure GOLD. Thank you for saying everything clearly, straight to the point and with such good advice for young girls starting in their dating life and even grown women. Tv shows like SATC really confused women and made sex outside a commited loving healthy relationship seem fun but all it does is put men on a pedestal and breed bad behaviour towards women. I'm so glad that this generation is waking up to the value of women now.

  • @lou15176
    @lou15176 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +172

    That sex in the city scene is the “ultimate” cringey pick me. I’ve seen it a number of times and my toes still curl 🤦‍♀️ x

    • @Lisaglamour
      @Lisaglamour  10 หลายเดือนก่อน +58

      I know right 😂I am always so uncomfortable seen Carry beg and chase after Big for the whole show !!

    • @missn111
      @missn111 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yes! I remember when I rewatched SATC during the pandemic how cringy it was to see Carrie and the others be so desperate for men. Maybe in another video you can dive deeper into the true reason why they were pick-me's... they were sex addicts. Honestly that's the reason most pick-me's are with low value men. These are relationships based on sex and the woman's lack of sexual mastery. Sexual mastery means only having a healthy sexuality based on a loving energy exchange. @@Lisaglamour

    • @Hammerhead137
      @Hammerhead137 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@Lisaglamour Women like you repel men.

    • @Hammerhead137
      @Hammerhead137 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      So in your opinion, women should be man-hating golddiggers.

    • @YmustTh3w0rldG0r0und
      @YmustTh3w0rldG0r0und 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      I know! Out of all of them, I always felt the least like Carrie and did not want to be her. She's the one you don't want to be out of the 4.

  • @antjestr1047
    @antjestr1047 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    I was a pick me :/ and its true, I tried to convince him that I was the one, tried to be like girls he liked but better..I lived completely outside of myself..and ultimately he chose someone else, I was so in love and heartbroken...but it was a hard lesson, now that I worked on myself I see myself as valueable, but the journey is not over, I still have some lingering tendencies when I like a person to act like a person I think the other person would like..I have some deep rooted fears of losing someone & self esteem issues due to a difficult childhood, but it got so much better already; hope I can open my heart again, but first I need to feel safe and connect more with myself and strengthen selflove etc

    • @irinafoss3588
      @irinafoss3588 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ❤️💕 God bless you in your journey! You deserve the best in life.

  • @Alice-jj2rt
    @Alice-jj2rt 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +51

    I’m not a femme fatale and I’m not a pick me. I do have a masculine energy Im told and it’s more loner-like. Idk? I am a girl I just don’t feel like what most people think of when they think of feminine. Most people tell me they think I’m gay when they first meet me or until I tell them otherwise which I find funny. Tbh I feel like a child more than a woman. Not that I’m immature I just like the imagination, play, and innocence. Seems like when ppl grow up their minds close and they get swayed by trivial things. Anyways, Femme fatales are intriguing to me tho so I love watching your videos. You give great advice and I love your style

    • @deepamehta1110
      @deepamehta1110 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

      You can have boyish charms and playfulness and still be beautiful and feminine and confident and desirable bc you are super comfortable with who you are and your accomplishments and slaying it in the world.
      All of this comes down to self esteem and being in your power - which comes from doing the right things and accomplishing the things in front of you / what you set out to / learning and immersing in life (not just social media or school).
      You sound creative, self-aware, and genuine. These are lovely qualities. Anyone who deserves your energy will get you. 😊

    • @QueenAmour8888
      @QueenAmour8888 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​ I agree, the original post can also check videos on the different type of femininity. She may find herself in one

    • @julesa1754
      @julesa1754 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I am a tomboy too and people were repulsed by my "immaturity" at times. Truth be told though, as long as you are doing what makes you happy and living the life of your dreams careless of whether others are impressed or not, you will attract many people. Once I stopped caring too much about what others thought, I started to get compliments from girls like "if i was not straight, I would have the biggest crush on you" or guys saying "i love how carefree you are, it's refreshing". Do i have serious commitments on the side for myself now that i'm an adult?yes. Does that mean I should ever neglect myself to fill the needs of others? No and never again. If being a tomboy is what makes you happy, take it a step further and live out some of your dreams. Dye your hair or ask out that guy you like. See how things go and change you into a better person without holding strong attachments to what they think of you🤍

    • @5t4rrgirl
      @5t4rrgirl 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sameee

    • @kobra4422
      @kobra4422 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I feel like that too, I have more male interests than other women but I am also more child like. Means I like fairy tales, Cartoons and stuff. We don't have to subscribe to any group of women. Just being ourselves.

  • @KC-cs2qs
    @KC-cs2qs 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +113

    My anxiety waiting for that tea to spill over: 👁️👄👁️☕️

    • @alakane2183
      @alakane2183 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      I know, it's impressive how she manages to hold it delicately, without it spilling😃🍵

    • @szatanica1
      @szatanica1 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It’s cold after 20 minutes so what’s the point of holding in for half an hour:)

    • @kashmagoorun2900
      @kashmagoorun2900 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😂

  • @defiantlypinki1107
    @defiantlypinki1107 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +75

    I start out well, but I start to develop pick-me behaviors after the first dates once I develop feelings and attachment to them. 🤦🏾‍♀️

    • @anibethnava9561
      @anibethnava9561 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

      Learn the art of detatchment

    • @zohashahid30984
      @zohashahid30984 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@anibethnava9561what is it?

    • @TiaTurnbull
      @TiaTurnbull 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@zohashahid30984
      Detachment is one of the laws in the 7 spiritual laws of success by Deepak Chopra.
      You detach from the outcome.
      The 7 spiritual laws:
      1. Pure Potentiality
      2. Giving
      3. Karma
      4. Least effort
      5. Intention and Desire
      6. Dharma
      7. Detachment
      I know what you are saying. I would end up acting like a pick me girls and be confused as to why I would get picked then discarded. I would start out showing myself as highly confident but could not hold that confidence once I am invested in a relationship. They would end up using and discarding me because they got bored when they saw that I did not really think of myself as high value.
      I used to give way too much, then I would be invested and feel like I am losing if my efforts are not returned.
      If you combine the law of least effort with the law of detachment you will not give too much of yourself to someone who is just looking to be fake and end up using you. If you value your life, your time and take good care of yourself, users will think they are wasting their time with you because they don't want to invest themself into a relationship with you. So users will leave, good good riddance, you did not give too much, the only thing you lost when they left was the immenent discard and heartache.
      But a good man will invest their time consistently because they care about you.
      It's difficult to not give yourself away to a user who pressures you in order to get what they want from you because they give nothing and act as if once they get what they want then they will give you what you want but it's foold gold, a false promise. They get what they want and laugh while they are walking out the door.
      Hold onto your value by not giving away your precious time, energy, labor and body. If someone complains about waiting it's not you they are valuing. ❤ Be detached from the outcome, let what is be and the truth of each will be revealed. If it's pressure, negativity, complaint and manipulation, it's not a high value love.
      I wish you success.❤

    • @chasingthesun90
      @chasingthesun90 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​​@@zohashahid30984build a life of your own, so much so that you dilute out the effect of him consuming your life. Gym, hobbies, multiple friend circles, further education, everything until you're exhausted

    • @PranaChi369
      @PranaChi369 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Research it​@@zohashahid30984

  • @clarityandpatience
    @clarityandpatience 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    I would say overly leading a conversation is a new one I find to be distasteful for day-to-day, I will acknowledge the communication and engage but not send every meal I had to eat that day. Also to have a bit of peace and space to come off as "boring" not in a predictable way but in leaving out details and yes disagreeing or speaking up on your own perspective with topics,great tips! Much Love Ladies.

  • @lalashowers
    @lalashowers 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    I'm a pick me girl. Too scared to have opinions or thoughts of my own. Might get yelled at and told I'm wrong. So tired of getting yelled at

  • @Magdelenediaries
    @Magdelenediaries 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    I was so close to getting on that path w/ the excessive flattery n validation, for this particular man. Something that is quite unlike me😑but you’re right: why him? Your video came just in time. Thank you Queen 💗

  • @katemiller5990
    @katemiller5990 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    Lisa and dear ladies- I would like to put forward an idea here for you to consider which I very much believe:
    The level of our self validation is greatly influenced by our family and community growing up.
    I would argue that you have an immense head start, Lisa, because you have been blessed with a family who nurtured your self esteem while you were little.
    Others of us have not had such a fortunate upbringing, with regular criticism and emotional neglect shaping our self perception instead.
    It’s not to say that, we cannot learn and grow now as you say Lisa, but I would gently argue, that you would have been a pick me girl at least at some point in your life, if you had been exposed to the abuse and neglect some of the girls here have been.
    My aim is not to criticise or divide here, just hopefully a gentle reminder that we all need to stay humble, kind and help each other up without any judgment ❤

    • @Oooohhlala86
      @Oooohhlala86 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I agree 100% especially those of us who have religious, conservative and mostly non-American culture families were practically raised to be submissive and serve others and be selfless. Others were raised in families where they had to get love, attention or validation from their parents. It’s hard to break from that mindset when it was drilled into you but it can be done. ❤

    • @kobra4422
      @kobra4422 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I've been abused and I never was a pickme. I don't understand this type of mindset. My main CPTSD syndrome was trying to befriend women and I didn't realize they are envious of me. I didn't understand it bc I don't think like them. Now I as I am healed I don't try to make friends with women. I maintain contact with people who respect me and aren't envious of me.

  • @valk89
    @valk89 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    I'm not that girl anymore but it still bothers me to remember that I once was.

  • @peekaboots01
    @peekaboots01 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +52

    It's stupid of men to hate someone that cares for them.

    • @themaggattack
      @themaggattack 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Yet they do.

    • @unionunicorn6776
      @unionunicorn6776 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      I agree. I’m done with men. I’m going to love women who know how to reciprocate love.

    • @humzahfarooqhumzahfarooq1706
      @humzahfarooqhumzahfarooq1706 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@unionunicorn6776 bro turned a whole new sexuality😭

    • @alivewind
      @alivewind 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      True . They are blind like Adrien 😂

    • @AjwaB23
      @AjwaB23 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Well how can they care for someone who doesn’t care for themselves? I was a pick me too but now I get it.

  • @pikakovacic2688
    @pikakovacic2688 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Dear Lisa, I have just got 21:05 21:05 a selfreflection of my personality trait from my past relationship and thanks to my growt I became more confident, self respected.❤

  • @sorayahazel2059
    @sorayahazel2059 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +41

    Thank you Lisa, we needed this video to make more women aware of pick me energy ❤

  • @Wandertheworldwithme
    @Wandertheworldwithme 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    Haha that movie clip of the girl saying “pick me, choose me, love me” girl that’s talking to that man is wow cringeworthy!!! Shocking!

    • @camillaparkerballs9558
      @camillaparkerballs9558 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I know! That always bothered me too! The most unrealistic part about shows and movies that depict this behavior is that they actually end up with the guy they're after! Real men would be so repulsed by that and it would be the last interaction they have with that woman. 🙄 It's very misleading to women who have a tendency to idolize men they are interested in. It's also a sure-fire way to attract narcissistic men into your life who treat you like crap!

    • @DominantBtch
      @DominantBtch 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@camillaparkerballs9558 real men have a bit of narcissism in them lol

  • @bumblebee_ms
    @bumblebee_ms 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    As an ex pick me, I did not do it on purpose, I grew up with a mother who put me LAST!!! (and that's putting it kindly).

    • @bumblebee_ms
      @bumblebee_ms 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Just to add, that desperate energy made me miss every RED flag I now see in others. If someone does not smile at you it is the first sign of a toxic person, trust me.

    • @bumblebee_ms
      @bumblebee_ms 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      One more add-on - Lisa, please pick me to respond!...lol! (That was a joke. I just found your channel and I love your style). New sub.

    • @nurulmidah8710
      @nurulmidah8710 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Is this why years ago I'm a pick me? I did all of the housework and also hardworking in my education, just to have praise from my parents. Never I was praised and this was continue till my late 20's

  • @JuzzMe-xu4mu
    @JuzzMe-xu4mu 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Omg, I was thinking about love is blind while listening to this video!😂 Yes! Please make videos on love is blind!❤

    • @SuperTracilee
      @SuperTracilee 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Agree! This would be helpful!

  • @princessrico19
    @princessrico19 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    I had some tears while watching this.. I notice I have some "pick me" tendency smh😢

    • @unionunicorn6776
      @unionunicorn6776 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Me too. It’s not your fault. You were taught to devalue yourself by users. But I think the solution is to learn to love yourself and no longer give everything to people who don’t deserve it. Good luck. 💔

  • @Maria_Svetlana_5923
    @Maria_Svetlana_5923 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    This is intresting lisa 😮 had a weird ick feeling when in the pressence of a pick me from school before . The over dramatic HUN 100% true . Always have this detached and secreative personality with your advice here it helps so so much

  • @cecilang9721
    @cecilang9721 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Watch 12:30 if you think this is just about men. It’s about YOU, as a person who has low self esteem and seeks external validation. It’s bad for your leadership potential, your professional relationships, your interpersonal relationships with family members, etc. People can see this as an obvious weakness and exploit and manipulate it to their own benefit and to your detriment so that you will NOT get to your goals or be happy. Yes this video is skewed towards man/woman relationships but it’s generally thought provoking.

  • @nebulasofia
    @nebulasofia 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Thank you for these type of videos, it opens my eyes but honestly also make me mad, like damn I was a pick me on my teen years and still struggling with some tendencies, I never had a bf and it's so frustrating that even when I was nice, I did everything I could, they still rejected me, like I was putting so much effort and it just wasted my time and other girls were "mean" (in my eyes at that time, now I know they just had boundaries) and they got they guys with no effort, like I was always jealous of that type of energy but I didn't knew how to change, I felt like I couldn't leave that state of being a people pleaser (also bc of trauma). So I'm so grateful for these type of videos, they help me to change my behavior and, fuck them all, I'm not putting ANYONE on a pedestal again, fuck them.

  • @tiamaria3123
    @tiamaria3123 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Thanks for this video...Got to get myself up off the ground....a TRUE Pickmeisha...by my own admission... I can see why I keep failing at ALL times in my relationships 100% every times....a GREAT LESSON to be learnt... thank you

  • @wenchyfoodwench4098
    @wenchyfoodwench4098 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    When I realized I was the prize and stopped being a pick me my life changed and I met my wonderful hubby. I never had to chase…. He was the chaser and he’s still my talk drink o water 😀💙💕

  • @liannasmit
    @liannasmit 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The animated character Helga from "Hey Arnold!" WAS a " Chose me" girl. LOL
    Overdoing it, copycating, insanely jealous, IDOLIZING... The film 'Leave Her to Heaven' was all about that, I recommend watching it.
    Why lie? Seriously?
    Insane, irrational, no boundaries and ungenuine behavior WON'T get or keep a husband.
    Women with the Electra complex...they CAN have enemies, think about it. I think that's how the "chose me" term came about too.
    Great video Lisa, glad you made it.

  • @alakane2183
    @alakane2183 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Agree with everything you say Lisa; you have a very healing energy. One thing that I can't help but think about is this though: how come that so many of these feminine icons (a lot of them do possess this femme fatale energy) still seem to be having very dramatic personal lives? Like Rihanna, Angelina Jolie, Monica Bellucci, Marilyn Monroe etc - they seem to have it all and yet are also caught up in that drama. I think there aren't actually many examples among celebrities at least, who are both feminine, yet also have happy and peaceful personal lives. Although then again, we don't know them, so who knows

    • @parisbeyk
      @parisbeyk 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      My opinion is that fame adds a WHOLE other element of complexities & issues that can make someone's personal life more difficult

    • @gabimb9066
      @gabimb9066 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I think it’s because the type of femininity these women portray and the type of femininity this coaches teach is somewhat fabricated. A fantasy.
      It attracts certain type of men who are not looking for a woman who is flesh and bone.
      They’re looking for an archetype.
      Inevitably they get tired of portraying the “femme fatale” “high value woman” character.
      When the cracks and the humanity start to show in daily life, along with other complexities, and then man is faced with the real person, everything starts going downhill.

  • @rachelarmel7547
    @rachelarmel7547 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Another excellent and very important video. Thank you Lisa..so many women need to hear this! 💗

  • @raniyuna2930
    @raniyuna2930 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    There is difference between feminine woman and doormat and it can look exactly same. Some women are fulfilling men all wishes, but they don't do it for validation. They do it for pure feeling of joy and love. If you are healthy feminine woman, you will be happy to serve men. Not because you are driven by insecurities or fears, but because it make you happy.😉❤️🙏🏻

    • @soomysaleem351
      @soomysaleem351 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This ❤❤❤❤ I don't let people in but when I do let them in they cannot doubt how much I love them because I do feel such joy in taking care of them. But I do deserve it back and I do stand up for myself. Saying that I don't feel worried about what I am I am more concerned with being a better human than I was yesterday. I genuinely don't care what anyone thinks but I do welcome constructive criticism and boundaries. How do I know my boundaries will be respected if someone isn't willing to reinforce their own.

  • @rachelwhitman1557
    @rachelwhitman1557 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Love island is also a show with pick me energy

  • @chiomachidube
    @chiomachidube 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    You are so stunning, Lisa😘.
    Thank you for this beautiful and insightful video❤

  • @timriehl1500
    @timriehl1500 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

    Carrie Bradshaw always made me uncomfortable whenever I saw her with her love interests. I could never put my finger on it until now. She was a much more likable person when she was around her friends rather than when she was around Mr. Big.

    • @ShanaRoussell
      @ShanaRoussell 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I totally agree! I remember being so confused about why she was so into BIG. In my opinion he was so arrogant . I always liked Aiden for her but noooo she had to be with BIG who left her at the alter!!! Ridiculous!!

    • @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living
      @Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      It’s so funny because when SATC was out, Carrie and Mr Big were supposed to be a love story, and the audiences were supposed to cheer when Carrie and Mr Big finally got married. Looking at it with modern eyes, we see that it wasn’t a love story, and Carrie was just making a fool out of herself. Carrie was the ultimate “pick me girl” who thought that she “won” when she finally got “her man”, but she learned the hard way that he just settled for her after the reading of his will.

  • @linduiaero4310
    @linduiaero4310 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    When I like a guy, even if I barely know him, I instantly turn into a desperate pick me girl. The maximum I get out of these encounters is being used for meaningless s*x and then they leave, treating me like trash! and it gets even worse as I get older aaahhh... Thank you so much for putting out these videos to remind us darlings of our queen energy and re-igniting it.

  • @Emily-ni2zg
    @Emily-ni2zg 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Side note looove your outfit in this one

  • @katierosealexander8132
    @katierosealexander8132 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    This was confronting but needed ❤

  • @AnimalSpirit777
    @AnimalSpirit777 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    A wonderful video, you impart the wisdom of these sometimes uncomfortable topics in such a gentle and feminine way ❤

  • @kitti2345
    @kitti2345 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I use to be a pick me.
    I use to be the scrolling down paragraph girl when someone bread crumbed me.
    Ive grown up..its funny when those men who i was sending paragraphs to are now talking to themselves in my DMs.

  • @Millooo02
    @Millooo02 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +31

    I'm 27, and lately, I've been feeling a bit old. I haven't been in a relationship, and I've never experienced being loved by a man. I've even lowered my standards, trying to get to know guys who aren't that attractive to me, but it feels like they reject me too. I've come to realize that my personality might not be where it should be, and I used to rely on my looks without developing a proper personality. I feel lost and desperate to find someone, but I don't know where to start. It's challenging, and I worry that I might not have as many choices at this point. 😔

    • @timriehl1500
      @timriehl1500 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      Personally, I'd rather die single and still hoping for real love rather than settling for something I don't really want. Don't be so sure that it's your personality that is lacking. Your personality could be great and you just feel it is lacking because you are lacking a romantic partner. You've tried; you are attractive, so it must be your personality, right? But I don't think it necessarily is that. It could be that you are surrounded by guys who can't recognize how great you are. Lose the desperation. Take a period of time (at least 3 months) and focus only on getting to know yourself and what you want out of life. Find yourself. Try an intellectual exercise: picture yourself at 50 without a man. What is your life like? Do you think you could find some kind of happiness by focusing on your work life? On crafting a lifestyle that reflects your interests? Cooking, decorating, traveling, volunteering, art/literature, etc? Please do not fall into the trap of thinking that a woman must have a man in order to be complete. You are complete in and of yourself. Live life fully as a single person and maybe you will meet someone on your journey through life.

    • @Lafilledlapluie
      @Lafilledlapluie 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      These feelings come up when you abandon yourself and don't have something else to ground you besides validation from other people. Also loneliness. I recommend prayer and therapy to help you find your center. You're enough. And you're not old 😂 I wish I could be 27 again 😂

    • @sandunianuththara-lm7ei
      @sandunianuththara-lm7ei 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      I am 25 years old and from a south asian country. I never had a boyfriend for my entire life. But I never lowered my standards and in fact I upgraded my standards gradually as I get older. Most of girls at my age getting married or engaged but this is not even bothering me. I enjoy my single life for the fullest and have already 10 cats. Perhaps I will find a man who deserves me but I am not going to be that desperate girl who begging for crumbs of affection. I think you should start by accepting your current single status and finding all the benefits of being a single girl.

    • @jazriv2949
      @jazriv2949 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Hey Love, I would recommend working on yourself. Every aspect of yourself, your looks, your body, your mind, your spirit, your intelligence, your wardrobe…all of it. Most importantly, work on your femininity. Do research in this and learn as much as you can. Lisa has many amazing videos! Good luck darling, just work on yourself 😊

    • @defiantlypinki1107
      @defiantlypinki1107 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      I’m 26 and I haven’t been in much of any relationships. When I was younger, I used to be ashamed of it. But now, I do so by choice because I have standards and refuse to be in bad relationship.
      But I will say that men may sleep around a lot and get praised for it, but then those men want settle down with women who appear to have been with very few people before him (and shame those women who have had as many partners as he has).
      As long as you’re keeping your looks and your self esteem up, you should be fine.

  • @hp8087
    @hp8087 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I just wanted to love ... now, I just realized I'm becoming a pick me. I'm blind. I realized, I'm just a place holder for someone he actually likes but cannot get.

    • @hp8087
      @hp8087 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Am gonna stop now. Hahaha 😭

  • @Anxinsama
    @Anxinsama 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Now I realize that this perfectly describes a former friend of mine. She completely changed herself to match the guys she liked, distanced herself from her friends everytime she got together with a guy, became pissed off at a friend that tried to give her advice and kept stubbornly defending her toxic behavior. Now I finally understand.

  • @VeoliaMiller601
    @VeoliaMiller601 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    I was a pick me, and then I ended up with a narcissist. Please don’t pick me now 🤣

    • @Chase_71
      @Chase_71 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Literally me 💀
      But I didn’t even know I was a “pick me”

    • @lotuseater97
      @lotuseater97 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Chase_71 i didnt even know until my friend said so now i dont wanna be cuz its shit and idk how stop being one bruh help-

  • @dahliablackwood
    @dahliablackwood 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Lisa, can you please make a video on how to be unpredictable without going too far?

  • @ayt1702
    @ayt1702 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    I wish I could see my true value 😢I’m with my boyfriend and I feel like I’m way too dependent on him, I need to change my mindset immediately, but it’s so hard to change existing pattern in a relationship

    • @mwolfe2022
      @mwolfe2022 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Find something like a new hobby. Take a trip or even just spend a few nights somewhere locally on your own. These things help you step away from your situation and look at it from the outside. But if you're obsessed with your bf, that's a whole other story.

    • @ayt1702
      @ayt1702 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@mwolfe2022 I’m not obsessed with him, but my mood and everything is really affected by him and his actions. I’m trying a lot of new hobbies and going out with friends, still deep inside I feel the same :( thank you for you words :)

  • @applelake5940
    @applelake5940 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Marie Chantal Miller ... Belen Corsini ... look them up girls and learn their style too.

  • @unionunicorn6776
    @unionunicorn6776 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Those who love the most are doomed to be loved the least 💔

  • @SearchIndex
    @SearchIndex 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I was just going to say “Your tea is getting cold” ❤

  • @mansoor3159
    @mansoor3159 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    Lisa Everytime you posts a new video it's makes my day instantly💗💗🥹🥹 and your videos are really really so so helpful to me

    • @Lisaglamour
      @Lisaglamour  10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Happy to hear that love ❤️❤️

  • @MariaMilenovasArt
    @MariaMilenovasArt 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I love the new setting!

  • @CodyCarnage
    @CodyCarnage 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I really love your content. Very informative 🥀🥀🥀

  • @greywestminster
    @greywestminster 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Taking the action to meet up of calling. It is also....attention

  • @Harinik-ys7pw
    @Harinik-ys7pw 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    i could hear you all day

  • @RedAndTheCompany567
    @RedAndTheCompany567 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I can't lie and i won't either. Until about two yrs ago, I was a total "Pick Me". The *exact* definition. However, after realizing it didn't do me any favors, I've changed course but its a different feeling but its a great feeling.

  • @georgy252001
    @georgy252001 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thanks for this very good video, Lisa!

  • @jesicastefanski7782
    @jesicastefanski7782 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I was a pick me when I was younger. Lord. Now I just don't care about opinions. If you like me you like me, and if you don't, that's fine. If you can't respect my boundaries, you need to go. Take care of yourselves first, ladies, and love yourselves more than anyone else (except for your children, that's different). Choose your friends wisely, and keep the good ones close. Strong women choose to uplift other women even when they don't always agree. Take care of your health; you don't have to decline with age, and you can choose to stay attractive at any age. Embrace every facet of your being and make it shine like a diamond. And for God's sake, don't ever gate-keep, it reeks of low self-esteem. ❤ Love to all of the fabulous ladies out there keeping it real.

  • @sarahruns262
    @sarahruns262 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Is it too late to get that Love is Blind analysis? I love your take on things!!

  • @alivewind
    @alivewind 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I am pick me girl . I am glad i saw this video . I always try to get attention of boys . I realized whom i call my boy bestie is just using me. Black mailing me . I am good in studys . When i need him he never shows up . And whenever he does something bad i stupidly say its me . I never know i was this blind .

  • @Atheana16
    @Atheana16 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’m going to put this video on the smart board at my school in my classroom for my pick me girl teachers so they can wake up to themselves

  • @beautymakeovers
    @beautymakeovers 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Nice i really like your style and you're videos

  • @LiaBunny93
    @LiaBunny93 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Beautiful video! Love you Lisa ✨✨✨

  • @laramodel8433
    @laramodel8433 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Lisa is just so beautiful and smart! Always giving us the best advice to make sure we feel and are treated like queens 💎 Love you so much ❤

  • @Tiffany-un3hw
    @Tiffany-un3hw 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +55

    Pick me actually do get married. A lot of wives ARE pick me’s. Ask the ones that are allowing their husband to cheat, providing for him, taking care of the kids, home and everything by herself. She’s a pick me.

    • @Lisaglamour
      @Lisaglamour  9 หลายเดือนก่อน +39

      Yes they do get married to the worst men, not the high quality ones

    • @Dolce-Vita1111
      @Dolce-Vita1111 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      ​@@Lisaglamour💯 the sad truth

    • @hellokaumea8315
      @hellokaumea8315 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Who wants that? Nobody

    • @tasmeenbaker9912
      @tasmeenbaker9912 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      The thing about pick me women/girls, even when they do get picked, they get picked for the wrong reasons. Now there's nothing wrong with wanting male validation or going above and beyond for a guy you like/love but it's a problem when the guy isn't doing the same. Plus, the type of guys these women go after are toxic and misogynistic as hell.

    • @Tiffany-un3hw
      @Tiffany-un3hw 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@tasmeenbaker9912 yes! You’re absolutely right.

  • @MissEdie1973
    @MissEdie1973 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I was a pick me when i was younger. Over the years I had to learn to love myself more than anybody else.

  • @sarisartikaputri7749
    @sarisartikaputri7749 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love your black hair because I also have black hair, but I cut it short a few months ago. anyways I love your black hair

  • @CassieTranthesuperfitbabe
    @CassieTranthesuperfitbabe หลายเดือนก่อน

    I will always argue that a man mistreating you, disrespecting you, and undervaluing you while he is with you is him rejecting you. He knows that a pick-me is the convenient option to have around at his beck-and-call, so of course he'll use the pick-me for fun while searching for his dream girl. It's so sad to witness women and girls feel the need to exhaust themselves for a man who will give them nothing in return.

  • @allofnews41
    @allofnews41 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    I’m having problem with soft spoken and I’m overly talk. I talk a lot and than I regret it angel.. can you help me any tips?

  • @a.b.2405
    @a.b.2405 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Please do a video on love is blind! ❤

  • @Silviaslullaby
    @Silviaslullaby วันที่ผ่านมา

    I posted a tiktok that said "im in a discord server where people can send anonymous confessions. Someone said "Some people here act like a pick me, idk though." And i feel like it's directed towards me." Everyone in that comment section called me a pick me and said i needed a reality check. Now im sesrching videos to see if i am a pick me. I never chase after men. Im a lesbian too. I probably am a pick me, though.

  • @bunnybeetle1304
    @bunnybeetle1304 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    years later, i am still not over the carrie - aidan drama that carrie and her pickme ways created single handedly with mr big.

  • @kelly.nicole
    @kelly.nicole 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I used to be a pick me when I was like 17-20 years old. Thank God I grew out of that. To be fair, I had kinda low self-esteem and they all-(guy friends) validated the hell out of me.

  • @boubo9
    @boubo9 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I would love a video on Love is Blind!!

  • @Lulu-rc5ii
    @Lulu-rc5ii 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Those girls were not loved by their fathers I guess 😢

  • @tayewest5675
    @tayewest5675 หลายเดือนก่อน

    She’s so pretty lol

  • @IAMBlessed811
    @IAMBlessed811 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Lisa make a few seconds and drink it 🍵I am here waiting for you to drink it 😅😂😂😂😂 12:07

    • @Lisaglamour
      @Lisaglamour  10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      I know ahah I am always so passionate talking to you I always forget to drink it 😂

  • @dearecho1989
    @dearecho1989 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Oh how scary it is... For 35 years (I am) being pickme while I was one of the most beautiful and intelligent girl anywhere. Like I'm modeling sometimes, I speak three languages, I traveled many contries and understanding many cultures...and I have been pickme. I had my own opinions and feelings, but I couldn't express myself directly. These few years I'm working on to be authentic but fixing the customs of people pleaser is hard. I still do. It's like I'm rehabilitating myself as a goddess from being flamed as a slave. It's super interesting!! When I act as queen yes people treats me as Queen!!

  • @The1morningstar
    @The1morningstar 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    I just told a man I had a crush on him. You wanna know what he said? Nothing! 🤦🏻‍♀️

    • @God_chose_us
      @God_chose_us 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      He just said nun…

    • @mtngrl5859
      @mtngrl5859 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      That's chasing a man, not a good look. It comes off as being Thirsty.

  • @JayJay-wg5ex
    @JayJay-wg5ex 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    love your videos

  • @chichisasmr
    @chichisasmr 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I have pick me traits I did my know I’m embarrassed

    • @Mrs.Deanna_Ember
      @Mrs.Deanna_Ember 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      Don't be embarrassed, they are traits and habits we pick up when we are little girls typically and carry into our adult life. It's more about recognizing when we are seeking validation in unhealthy ways or from unhealthy people...

  • @martinamajakova2313
    @martinamajakova2313 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I watched love is blind last night till 6 morning.Bit I cannot believe one girl wanted to marry the guy to make her mum happy😢.unbelievable

  • @nankyahawa7986
    @nankyahawa7986 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Tell that to the bachelor and bachelorette show

  • @antiderrida2117
    @antiderrida2117 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    This is a massive misunderstanding. “Pick me” is equivalent to “nice guys”. You think you deserve a top man because you are nice, but you are shooting out of your range. Pursue your level and then be nice.

    • @eaglemgtow2789
      @eaglemgtow2789 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      There's a difference between a Pickme and good girl. A good girl would DO would sacrifice without thinking about the "outcome" that she'd receive.

  • @ONLYmindYourBusiness
    @ONLYmindYourBusiness หลายเดือนก่อน

    a HIGH VALUE WOMAN is Her OWN COMPETITION- Me 😁👌😉

  • @Goldenac
    @Goldenac 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    It’s very easy to talk about “pick me” “desperate” women who don’t have many options when you yourself look beautiful who has many. Average women like myself do not have men chasing us and aren’t seen as goddesses. This is like rich people shaming poorer people who work very hard.

  • @3xyrz
    @3xyrz 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    lol carrie bradshaw in the thumbnail

  • @batwman
    @batwman 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Is it wrong ornpick me to be calling my bf handsome, complement him and look at him with admirarion all the time?

    • @lou15176
      @lou15176 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      It’s the “all the time” bit that may not be doing you any favours. A compliment now and then is fine. I used to over compliment. I was like what’s it called nowadays a simp! 😂 I was terrible, I was always complimenting and thanking everyone thinking I was seen as nice and kind. It hasn’t helped me at all x

    • @maryamadedeji24
      @maryamadedeji24 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@lou15176 yeah completely agree ,the peole I associate my self with and friends tell me I am “too nice” and when I left high school I see what they mean and it so true. I can be way too friendly … And I noticed that that energy isn’t good all the time so I’m really doing some self improvement

    • @lou15176
      @lou15176 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@maryamadedeji24 it’s a harsh lesson, but one worth learning 😊 x

  • @anonymousz2065
    @anonymousz2065 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you ❤

  • @positivel5530
    @positivel5530 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What I don’t get is how I did that in my relationship but don’t do any of that outside of a relationship

  • @hayaashraf3404
    @hayaashraf3404 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    You are goddess lady ❤

  • @thezombiepotato1
    @thezombiepotato1 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Its really not a deal breaker at all on its own. But if its rooted in extreme insecurity and you continue to be a pick me to everyone else while entering a relationship, AND need to take up all of his space for constant validation, its going to fail. Youre also probably picking the first "good enough" suiter and not getting good quality partners. Honestly, the "pick me" approach in itself is NOT a bad approach by itself but it cant be your entire basis of how to engage in relationships, like any single quality you may try to leverage.

  • @krutu1135
    @krutu1135 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    On point👍

  • @roshanranjan8701
    @roshanranjan8701 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    What about a pick me guy tips?

  • @tasmeenbaker9912
    @tasmeenbaker9912 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Ngl, now that I think about it, I was kind of a pick me when I was 16. I mean I wasn't out here bullying or being an asshole to other girls for male validation or purposely going after another girl's man but I was a pick me in the terms of I was just accepting anything from this guy.

  • @rgrandberry1234
    @rgrandberry1234 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Hello beautiful!!!!!! You're a royal Queen!!!! xoxox Thank-you for your knowledge!!!!!!!

  • @itsmekayb327
    @itsmekayb327 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Some women are pick-me because there are many examples on the media such as Carrie Bradshaw . They think that would be a norm.

  • @nonEntitledArt
    @nonEntitledArt 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Dude I was the biggest pick me in 10th grade, I feel cringe af everytime someone talks about how I used to be in 10th grade

  • @hayaashraf3404
    @hayaashraf3404 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    متستخدميش مع رشاد طريقه اختارني اختارني ... 🙃 متقرنيش نفسك بحد