My therapist kept seeing me even though I couldn't pay her because of insurance. I was is a really bad place and she is the only reason i made it through. ♥️
You know you have abandonment problems when the title of a video scares you to death. Jokes aside, I knew about some of these, didn't think progress and couples could make a difference.
Kati Morton Maybe changing the title or thumbnail to be clearer? Intent vs impact and all that. A lot of viewers here are extremely, painfully sensitive and already dealing with a lot. I’m glad it wasn’t on purpose though!
That’s The worst. Just The tought made me start crying. I know i would be devestated it that was The case before i was ready and had healed that part of me that Get so emotionally crushed by The tought of ending things. I think it harms people if that happens before they have worked trough that fear.
@@Malin0908 same here, I feel like it's awful to end things, but mostly when it comes to stop seeing people that make you feel good. I also can't think about it without crying.
I had a therapist "dump me" as a teenager. It was very harmful to me because she just abruptly said "I don't think I can help you!" in a frustrated fit and that was it. She didn't have a proper conversation with me about it and encourage me to find a better fit. Because of the lack of explanation, I'm not 100% sure what her reasons were, but I'd guess lack of progress and maybe non-compliance (from her perspective only). She was the pushy type of therapist, and would even trigger panic attacks in session while trying to pressure me to do flooding by myself. I would explain to her so many times that that was too much, and her "homework" was superficial and made me feel worse. After a few months, I found a new therapist that is AMAZING!! If she suggests a solution to an issue I'm having, but it's absolutely not right for me, or I'm not ready to tackle it quite yet, I can tell her, and she says "ok." She doesn't get irritated or tell me to "just do it" like my old therapist. She's kind, patient, optimistic and flexible with her thinking. But anyhow, the reason why I'm telling my little story is to convey how important it is to clearly and kindly explain why you're stopping the treatment. If you end things in an unpleasant or emotional way, it leaves a terrible impact on the patient. I really hope most therapists are better than my old one.
Several years ago someone wrote in to Ann Landers inquiring about the chances of finding a competent therapist. She answered that it was about the same as finding a competent plumber or electrician, 50/50. Incompetent therapists need to be hounded from the profession. Please document your experience on yelp dot com, and don't be afraid to name names.
@@tanyagioia829 I agree that it's callous and cruel at any age, but I hope you've since been able to find a great therapist yourself. And for anyone else wondering about my OC from 4 years ago, I still have the same wonderful therapist. If you have a therapist that doesn't fit, try someone else. It's worth it to try to find the right therapist for you!
My old therapist had to end therapy with me but didnt explain properly the reasons behind her doing so... it broke my heart and for a long time meant I was both unwilling and unable to trust another therapist. Thank you for this video Kati, as always incredibly helpful and really... just reassuring I guess. xx
Seriously a alarming amount of these people without a doubt have one set of rules for you and your accountability and a whole other set for themselves.
There's another reason she didn't mention in this video but did mention in another, which is that if the client has an issue that you yourself have and haven't worked through yet, you usually can't treat them. I imagine this can even be an problem if you just recently worked through your issue, because you might naturally feel like your solution MUST naturally be the same as the clients. All this being said, if my therapist ever discontinues work with me I will just assume he/she has fallen madly in love with me and needs to break off contact for the good of both of us.
@@therabbithat I love your perspective. 😄 I was just crying about this whole thing so much and felt an intense despair but now that I read your comment I feel much lighter again. Haha, thank you! ;)
😂🤣. I didn’t panic, but, it made me curious. The two therapists who ended with me was 1) one felt they weren’t qualified to deal with the particular trauma, and, 2) one was changing his client focus and we had made tremendous progress together. Oddly enough, the making progress was the one that felt the strangest, yet, now, feels wonderful.
It was so difficult when my therapist let me go. She said that she feels she has done all she can and she encourages me to seek a new kind of therapy. I moved from regular talk therapy to DBT therapy. I got a more accurate diagnosis and treatment that I needed. It hurt like a break up.. however, I now understand why she let me go.
My therapist didn't end therapy but I was medically discharged from the military and she did research to find me a new one which was great!!!! Awesomeness all up in this video!!!! Love ya kati❤️
Another is that the therapist is not dealing with their feelings towards you...counter-transference. They may develop feelings of anger or fear or romantic love for the patient which gets in the way of treatment. It becomes unprofessional and unethical to continue and usually they will refer you to another therapist and will not tell you the reasons or fib about it.
This just happened to me. I'm a female Veteran, I was seeing this 70+ yr old female therapist. She does NOT like the way I think. So she said she can't help me anymore and terminated the appt 20 min early. Shes always compared me to her male relative Veterans. "Oh THEY are doing well, why aren't you.".
As a respectful, appreciative patient it's so frustrating to have to start all over again. Especially if you pay, have basics anxiety (pandemic issues, grief, depression) and don't see a valid reason for being dismissed. It crushes us.
I have never felt as rejected and alone as when my therapist said she would have to refer me to someone else. It was heartbreaking, but we talked it through and realised what was going on and we're trying to move forward now.
I got dumped by my therapist today. Out of the blue. No warning. I hit rockbottom and I guess I became too much for them. Triggering abandonment and Core wounds. I am too much for them and so they leave. Really inappropriate to do to someone who’s in a crisis.
@madalinamit4694 I've been through the same thing a couple of years ago, at the time I never planned going to therapy ever again. I wait several months and decided to try it again. I still struggle thinking about it sometimes but my new therapist and I talk about my old one still.
This actually just happened to me last week. My therapist that I've been seeing for almost a year decided that I would be better off seeing another therapist because we weren't making any progress anymore. I admit that it hurt me a lot to hear that and made me feel like I failed in someway. However I want to believe that this is what is best for me so I'm going to try to see where this leads.
Good on you! Sometimes people don't mesh with their counsellors and it's hard and makes things stall. You need to find someone right for you. Kati has some videos about why therapy sessions may stall, you should give them a look.
I've been seeing my therapist for 7 years. One on one and group. He isn't ever going to break up with me and I flat out tell him it is about the money but he says he slides his pay scale for me and could get other patients. He is a modern analytic. This woman seems textbook CBT/DBT, which seems academic to me. I express anger toward him regularly. It seems like this woman has thin skin and can't tolerate hatred of her by a patient. I have authority issues and especially with women so I'd just own her in a session. No offense lady, you seem nice, but I don't think we would be a good fit except for me to experience transference toward you with my issues, which could be helpful for me but stressful for you.
My heart fell at the title of this video. Trying to get back in to see a counsellor or therapist again after even 2 years break is hard for someone with bpd. I've been rejected twice from a popular place which is worldwide because they say they can't help and with someone who has borderline personality disorder really knocks me down further and makes me feel more useless than I already did. The stigma for people with bpd needs to change. I'm now studying psychology and counselling at university level. I'm hoping to learn and teach others. Xox
Rainbow Butterfly I have BPD. I had an amazing year and a few months with a mental health nurse. I relapsed bad in March and it was really an eye opener to see how much she cared. She never gave up on me. We had a conversation about treatment resistance; we with BPD aren't stubborn. We're scared and the fear of abandonment gets in the way of our progess. I have been discharged from my nurse, not because I'm noncomliant, but because I'm well on my way in recovery. I will always have BPD and now I have a lot of skills to help me cope. Best of luck to you.
Therese O'Connor yeah. The counsellor I was trying to see again as she's known me for years cares about me bit unfortuantly her boss refuses to let me see her. I haven't done anything for them to do this. Im doing better and I'm dealing with having bpd better than I was over a year ago.
The most important thing is that the therapist clearly communicates the reason(s) for ending therapy. I had a therapist who 'surprised' me with not wanting to make new appointments and just vaguely recommended to consider inpatient treatment, handed me some leaflets and said goodbye ;). Not really helpful.
I guess my last therapist was scared of me. I told him I had bad anger issues and was a misanthropist. He seemed nervous and squirmed a lot. I never yelled at him. I cussed, but not at him. I never physically threatened him. I don't think he should be working with veterans. I wasn't the kind that suddenly had a flashback and went psycho because of PTSD. He got really nervous when I just talked about my last experience on the rifle range. The range was not in a combat zone.
1 week my therapist told me she was there for me, shes a safe space and not going anywhere. The next week she told me she couldnt help me & had referals......because she helped more than hurt, I didnt pursue reporting her. That s* is dangerous. I should still report her...
When I get depressed I don't want to go anywhere so I miss my appointments. I stopped taking my medication because it's not working. I never follow through on anything. It's been a life long habit. I wish I knew how to change my behavior and attitude. When I get discouraged I shut down and it frustrates people including my therapist and Dr.
Donnettia Mayer been there. I had friends come with me/drive me and talked to my therapist about this tendency of mine. I also did phone therapy that I didn't have to leave my house.
Tell this to your counsellor! It's surprising how understanding they can be when you tell them this! If it's too hard to say aloud, then screencap it and print it off and show them! It's amazing how many concessions they will make when they know this is the reason you are skipping or why you've stopped taking your medication. Change starts here with this comment and letting them know this truth.
1Eilatan I do tell them but they don't think I'm serious about wanting help. I do want help. They took 2 of my kids because of my bipolar and borderline personality disorder. I just feel like I just don't care anymore because no one cares about what I'm going through. I just want to give up sometimes but I have to keep going for my daughter. I don't want to lose her too.
Maybe when you are feeling a bit better you could open up to them about that.. and let them know that that's what you do. When you aren't in it.. you may be able to figure out why that's your response and work to better fight against it. xoxo
I just got fired by my psych. I felt so rejected and confused. I am currently relapsing with Anorexia and my spiral is going very fast. So this is very comforting. Thank you for sharing.
I have subscribed to you because you are so down to earth. You can see your honesty. The people that do get to see you are quite lucky. You make a difference. 🕊
My therapist and dietician gave me a letter one day and said they were not seeing me anymore due to reasons 2 and 3. They knew I could not afford higher levels of care. It was so sudden, it sent me reeling way back into the eating disorder and I got so much worse. I’ve never felt so hurt and alone in my life. Don’t they have to give you a couple more sessions to terminate? From my perspective, this rule is not ethical at all. I went from seeing both my therapist and dietician each week to no support at all, which was harmful to me.
I really appreciate this list. I am always worried that I will let myself and my therapist down by not doing the homework. Now I have more of a reason to try hard to get better. I do not want to lose a good therapist or fall back into bad things. I really want to get better. It's really hard to try sometimes. This list will help motivate me to keep working hard. Thank you
I’ve had both good and bad therapists. Some are basically “ how does that mak you feel” ..but the good ones dig a bit, ask where you want to go and how you see that improving
Yup, it is annoying. The best therapist from here has no contract with my insurance group, so either I pay for it with my own money (quite expensive) or find another one but the problem is, they're not so good and they're often not even therapists, just psychologists who can give me an appointment once in three months and not every week. Although I don't need therapy, I still insist on seeing a therapist because they have more experience and more education on how to work with the actual patients.Psychology itself is too general and theoretical here.
First time my therapy stopped, I turned 18 and had been waiting for 2 years since I signed up at 15. This time my 8 sessions are over, and I started in Jan so it should have ended well before now but this therapist wasn't very reliable. May or may not go and sign up again and wait another 7+ months to get another round.
THE TITLE OMG! I thought you were leaving TH-cam Kati!!! I am glad it was NOT that video!!! This was a truly a great video Kati! So much good info!! Thank you!!!
I'm glad I'm not the only subscriber that thought Ms. Kati was leaving TH-cam! :-) I was watching another channel I'm subscribed to but when the title of this video scrolled across my notification marquee I immediately stopped what I was doing, muted my TV, quieted my boyfriend, closed the currently playing video and opened this one. Definitely glad she isn't going anywhere!!! Aside from that: All 6 reasons for client discharge Kati listed seem to be broadly utilized as acceptable stipulations in a provider-patient terms of service agreement across the board not only in the mental health specialty but in every other facet of medicine, too, with the only exception being emergency departments (at least in the United States where anyone can go to the emergency department of any hospital in any location with confidence in knowing they will receive the best, most expedient care that specific emergency department is capable of provosing regardless of their emergency, ability to pay, citizenship status, background, mental health even if they're being detained by the police and are being evaluated for possible 51/50 involuntary hospitalization for dangerous behavior or for any other federally protected reason including, but not limited to; age, race, ethnicity, gender, sex, sexual orientation, religion and an endless list of other reasons).
Put off watching this because I thought it's really gonna be the end and I didn't think I could handle it, yesterday being a bad day. Feel a bit better today so went on to watch this. So glad it wasn't a real farewell, phew. I never comment before but, Kati, your videos on depression and suicide prevention had been a great help for me this past year, having to deal with these issues on my own, without access to therapy or any support group. Please know I am truly grateful for everything that you have done through this channel.
That title scared me. My heart jumped for a minute there. I literally dropped what I was doing when I looked at my phone haha. Now I have to watch the video over again because after I figured out there was nothing to worry about, I couldn't focus on what you were saying because my mind kept going to what the world would be like if you actually did ever stop this. Oh Kati...
I don’t think therapists should just quit a patient so easily. It’s hashing out very private and personal stuff to a “professional” and then they are done with you when they deem it necessary. I feel rejected and abandoned by my therapist I thought I could trust. Now I have to find a new therapist I can trust and I have to rehash all the traumas to the new therapist.
My heart just about dropped when I saw the title of this video!!! But so glad you made a video about this, I'm currently afraid of IOP kicking me out because I just can't bring myself to open up. You videos are always so helpful!!!!!
my very first therapist refused to see me after only two sessions because I didn't want to get on medication. The reason I was so against it is because she had only met me once before saying "Hey, you need meds" and it all felt too fast. Needless to say, that kinda made me not want to go back to therapy.
I had a psychiatrist who accidentally revealed in court that she was indeed prescribing everybody more meds than they needed because she felt pressured by her pharma rep...this therapist dropping you was a blessing in disguise
My therapist diagosed me with manic depression and prescribed meds for me after one session. I think they sorta help. I was just not consistent enough, skipping meds here and there to save some money.
Some people have severe illness that they need meds before starting the therapy (sometimes temporary) in order to make the therapy easy for the patient to take and to progress better.
EmptyGin good for believing in yourself of what you need, I had to take a antidepressant and I had 3 different Physciatrists whom neglected to wean me off the medication and now I suffer from high blood pressure from the medication.
@@dianabrown2258 Lots of mental health professionals, medical doctors etc are unfortunately pressured by big pharma which I really hate. Sad that thy apparently got into the professions bc they love helping others but harm them for their own gain...unethical AF.
Freaked out at the title. Thought you were leaving YT and were going to stop making vids. Thank gosh you aren’t. Love your vids and this was a super informative video.
Now, apart from abandonment problems ( which I know ALL too well) I just would like to say that therapists can be difficult and all too efficient themselves, ....in fact, even well-meaning, ready-to-oblige patients can be shocked sometimes, what degree of compliance therapists apparently expect.
You’re literally my favorite TH-camr. I want to be a therapist someday, and you are my biggest inspiration. I hope someday I can be as awesome of a therapist as you, Kati. 💛
"not doing homework" Awww! That puts a lot of pressure on someone, I assume if they are working 40+ hours or if they have severe depression or anxiety they get more leniency with this?
Another great informative video! I do wonder though if some therapist use these reasons as a cop-out. They simply dont like you and use one of these reasons to get out of treating you.
I would classify all of these as boundaries. In a therapy setting, boundaries are necessary in order for a safe and open space to exist. I have been in therapy for 15+ years. When I moved cross country, I went to the phycologist and psychiatrist (they were in the same clinic) recommended by my insurance. The therapist was warm, patient, looked thru the work I had been doing, and created a plan for us. Basically, it was a healthy system. The psychiatrist, however, made significant changes to my medication. He switched me from Seroquel to lithium. I was then prescribed both Xanax and Xanax xr apart the same time. He added an antidepressant. Then he added lamictal to balance the antidepressant. Then he added Risperdal. When my moods started swinging more, he added Depakote and increased my lithium. I ended up hospitalized for lithium poisoning and was triggered into a full manic episode with psychosis. The lithium poisoning wrecked my balance, which still hasn't completely recovered, and I have tinnitus. The manic episode pasted nearly two weeks. It was literally hell. When I got home from the hospital, I was served a letter from the psychiatrist and therapist saying I am not welcomed there anymore. I was then served a restraining warning from communicating or approaching them. I was barely able to walk, was in physical therapy, emotionally exhausted, and at a completely loss of what to do. Luckily, the physical therapist knew of a psychologist group with an excellent reputation, the only draw back was that their M.D.'s and therapists usually had lengthy wait times. I gave them a call and after they heard my predicament, got me in quickly. Needless to say, he took me off of nearly everything, rerouted to Seroquel, Lamictal, and a low dose of Xanax only for anxiety/panic attacks. He got me with a primary care doctor who began treating me blood pressure and blood sugar. The previous psychiatrist continually said that those were all in my head. My new therapist has been fantastic. I guess I am saying this because for all the good apples or there, sometimes you find a poisoned one. I didn't listen to my inner voice that he was not respecting boundaries. He didn't like when I questioned him. He didn't like when I told him about side effects. I paid the price. I still have flashbacks, but I can deal with them. I just wish I had walked away when those boundaries were first ignored.
I went to a therapist because I was being abused and neglected by my narcissistic mother. The therapist didn't believe me at all when I said my mother was narcissistic. She didn't seem to have any real experience with people on that spectrum. It ended when the therapist told me I was abusive and therefore couldn't see me anymore. I then started seeing another therapist and am hoping to go again soon.
Kati I just want to say thank you for everything you do and for being you. Thank you for making videos and being simply amazing. Your videos help me more than you probably know. When I'm having a bad day your videos always help me so thank you. Lots of love❤❤❤❤
Thanks so much for making this video. My therapist has referred me out for DBT and I've been feeling really bummed and hurt about it. But I've realized it's because she cares enough about me to want me to get the right treatment, not because I've failed her or because she doesn't like me. I guess it'd be like seeing a dermatologist about your skin cancer - they're not equipped to deal with that and they're gonna have to send you to an oncologist, someone who specializes in cancer. It's not that you're untreatable or they don't like you, it's just that they aren't equipped to help you with that kind of problem.
I'm now on quetriapine makes me feel sooo exhausted when I first have them (at night) the next day I'm like a completely different person lol their amazing
I was honest, did my homework and took my meds. But my therapist suggested I go to the hospital but we couldn't because we were snowed in. She freaked out and thought I was refusing to go to the hospital. She refused to see me anymore. It broke my heart
I know many people have said this already. I had a mini-heart attack when I saw the title. Your videos have greatly helped me improve as a person and I would have been really sad if that was the case. Really informative video! To be honest, I did wonder at some point about these reasons. Love your work, Kati. Keep it up!
Wow.... Sad but good info. Thank you for this video: therapists are human too!!! I hate saying hello to my caregivers outside of the office just because of the ethical boundaries. Please; anyone who reads this: do NOT talk about private issues in public to your caregivers!! They are human and NEED their safe places too! (Shopping, movies, grocery stores) say hello but do not dump your issues! Would YOU love to be a part of the issue outside of your work hours? Please have consideration for those who want to help you! ✌️
Well, I’m wondering if there are good reasons to stop therapy yourself. I quit therapy about 9 months ago now, and i made things better on my own. When i was getting therapy, it was forced on me, and I’ve always hated it. I think i therapy could still help me, but with my past experiences i just feel like it won’t do any good for me. Anyway, before i go off rambling about everything, what are reasons to stop therapy yourself?
Just Some Random Person I broke it off with my last therapist because I wasn't getting what I needed out of my sessions, and I found someone who was able to help me more.
I stopped seeing my last therapist because he insisted on continuing work on an issue I was having no problems with and he wouldn't help with the issues I was really struggling with. He didn't care to take care of real problems. I've "fired" a few others as well. It basically came down to the fact that I didn't feel they were able to help me any further. There should be open communication from both sides and you should feel your issues are being addressed and you're being helped.
viperchic78 This happened to me too, but I just rolled with it in a plaquating way in order to finally get to the actual root of my problem which was mentioned up front.
I'm really glad you did this video, my husband and are planning on going to marriage counseling in the new year, and I am also planning on doing individual therapy, and didn't think about the fact that I wouldn't be able to see the same therapist for both. I'll keep that in mind as we move forward, so we can figure out our best course of action.
P.T. - Oh my Goodness! I thought the same thing! I even put off watching the video until I had taken my meds/vit.'s & had quiet time to watch it! WOW - would that be a classic ex. of "catastrophizing" and "dramatizing"? 2 (of many) skills I'm practicing, at the suggestion of my great psychiatrist. We love you Dr. Kati! (In a healthy boundary way). I guess there's no uncreepy way to say that after this video, but I believe y'all understand. Anyway, I have so many therapy stories. And questions. But hell, this ain't Sister Shannon's blogging hour and I've dman near written a novella as it is. God Bless all y'all. Never stop fighting your illness.
perfect time for this kind of video since I actually came to that point with my therapist the other week. She wants me to go back to inpatient treatment.. I don't want to.. so I basically have no treatment at all now.. and my ED is getting worse again from day to day.. but she also said I may have to hit rock bottom to realize how sick I really am.
This was a really good video. I didn't realize about the couples vs individual counseling. That was a good point and makes a lot of sense. But I didn't like the title. I had to read the comments first to see if you were really leaving us, then I could watch the video. Don't make us sad Kati.
Great video (you spooked everyone with that title Kati) as usual!! Also, I think I would be really cool if you could do a video on something like finding your romantic/sexual identity and how that relates to finding a healthy relationship! Or something along the lines of how to be confident in your new identity etc. etc.
As a therapist, I can honestly say it’s not easy letting a client go. Not all, but some clients do not invest in therapy. They don’t follow through on homework, they want more of a sounding board. I had a client that wanted to just use therapy to pathologize every detail of their lives such as “I overslept, I must have this (x,y,z diagnosis) and every session was a new diagnosis seeking session. When I brought it up, they got upset. They lacked self-awareness and didn’t want to work on it. They were stuck and I began to get stuck after trying multiple things over a year, so I had to end it. They of course felt hurt and I understand that, but I found myself working harder than them and they weren’t able to budge, no matter how much I tried to provide safety and motivating support. Please know your therapist is a person too and they feel it when you’re upset, they also sometimes feel Like a failure when you don’t get better.
Can you make a video about reinforcement in therapy? My therapist is always talking about it. Like how me going to a residential level of care is reinforcing because I enjoy the support and safety. And how seeing me more often when I am doing poorly is reinforcing too.
I remember when I was in Therapie in grade 6 or so, because my parents felt like I needed help with organisation and because I had some problems with social situations. After some time, I actually lied about all the organization things that they have gotten better... Maybe I felt forced to do these things and just didn't wanted to do them... But the therapist didn't care, or just didn't say anything about that again, even after talking with my parents. We were just focusing better on social things, where I myself wanted to get better, and there it really helped me, because I wanted a change.
I had a therapist tell me that she thinks we are done. We worked together for a long time and met all the goals I had for being in therapy. I just never expected her to end it.
i didnt know #6. im looking for individual therapy and couple therapy in the future. thank you for the heads up. I appreciate your videos and efforts. thank you :)
It's hard when a client becomes attached to their therapist. The work the client needs to do might not get done for fear of hurting the therapist. I recently went through this.
I’m disabled and sadly it snows here a ton. That makes it hard to get out of the house, so normally my therapist and I just play it by ear. Sometimes I’ll take a break until the snow melts.
The only experience I have with a therapist that stopped seeing me was when she left. She told it in my last session with her. Still kind of mad about that...
Interesting video Kati, and very important to have this discussion. We often look into why clients stop therapy but why a therapists stops therapy is interesting. I think ethics are a huge thing here, something I think a therapist knows that the most has been gotten from therapy and so it has to stop. Thanks so much for this!
I can say the only reason my one real time of therapy stopped is because I turned 18, and I had waited for 2 years after signing up at 15 for it in the first place. This time if Therapy stops on Monday it'll be because my 8 sessions are up, if I decide to wait another 7+ months for another round of sessions I'm gonna get a different therapist, this one was just all over the place. (Mainly not turning up for appointments and not phoning the clinic until my appointment time when I had already been there half an hour because it's a long drive to the place, everything's in the sticks here.)
I find that when I’m not in therapy or actively receiving treatment, I want to get better. But the moment I receive help (therapy, residential, inpatient, php) I freak out and do everything I can to go against what my team are helping me with. I don’t know what to do...because right now I want to overcome my eating disorder 100% but I know as soon as I schedule anything for therapy and arrive at my first session, my mindset will completely change. My last therapist kept trying to convince me I needed a higher level of care for my eating disorder and after a couple appointments of her saying this and me not listening, she said that during my next session with her if I haven’t chosen to look into the idea of a higher level of care...that she would be forced to talk with my mom about it to ensure I’m getting the care I need. So I freaked out and cancelled all appointments I made with her and never went back. I told my mom that my therapist thought I was doing much better and didn’t need therapy as often anymore. WHY AM I SO RESISTANT TO TREATMENT?! I feel like I deserve treatment or am “sick enough” to receive help UNTIL I actually get the help. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ it’s frustrating and it’s ruining my chances for treatment in the future. **The inpatient facility I always go to has gotten so frustrated with this that and the doctor I always get assigned that he said I can’t come back until it’s been a year. And if I try he won’t accept me. He’s probated me before because of pulling out my ng tube and when I left it in refusing to let them put anything through it (even water).** I feel like this is my life now, I’ll always be stuck in the cycle of my eating disorder.
Aww, baby's first clickbait! Im so proud I cant even be mad.
T I had the exact same thought!
hahah right
Thanks!! xoxo
Thought the same thing lol
Kati Morton OH MY GOODNESS I CANT BELIEVE YOU LIKE AND REPLIED I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU SO MUCH! YOU MADE MY ENTIRE LIFE😭❤️
omg I about had a heart attack thinking you were gonna stop seeing us haha
P. T you’re not the only one! I was literally about to cry 😢
Oh my goodness, I was freaking out too!
P. T me too lol
I thought that too.
P. T You might need therapy 😉
My therapist kept seeing me even though I couldn't pay her because of insurance. I was is a really bad place and she is the only reason i made it through. ♥️
That's wonderful
You know you have abandonment problems when the title of a video scares you to death. Jokes aside, I knew about some of these, didn't think progress and couples could make a difference.
Sorry to scare you. But I am glad you found the info helpful :) xoxo
Kati Morton don't worry ^^
I never clicked so fast... I was scared when i saw the title.
I thought Kate was leaving. It made me sad. I haven't watched her videos for a while. But still it made me sad.
Right? My heart was pounding through lots of this.
Oh my fucking lord Kati that title, I freaked out I thought you were ending your channel!! My heart dropped !
munjiful omfg me too! I got so scared
I was about to cry! Lol
hahah!! I would never leave!!! xoxo
Kati Morton thanks 😊🙋💞💞💞
munjiful same
A lot of people with attachment issues just got real antsy at this title/thumbnail!
I know!! Totally didn't mean to upset anyone! haha! xoxo
Haha yeah I totally thought Kati is quiting TH-cam xD
Kati Morton Maybe changing the title or thumbnail to be clearer? Intent vs impact and all that. A lot of viewers here are extremely, painfully sensitive and already dealing with a lot. I’m glad it wasn’t on purpose though!
I actually started crying...but I'm glad she isn't leaving TH-cam!
Lol, totally. My first thought was “ oh my god ( insert therapists name) is leaving me...why!!?!!!”
Me: I have abandonment issues and-
Therapist: sir, I can't see you anymore.
Makes me feel like i don't wanna fight anymore
😢
That’s The worst. Just The tought made me start crying. I know i would be devestated it that was The case before i was ready and had healed that part of me that Get so emotionally crushed by The tought of ending things. I think it harms people if that happens before they have worked trough that fear.
@@Malin0908 same here, I feel like it's awful to end things, but mostly when it comes to stop seeing people that make you feel good. I also can't think about it without crying.
I had a therapist "dump me" as a teenager. It was very harmful to me because she just abruptly said "I don't think I can help you!" in a frustrated fit and that was it. She didn't have a proper conversation with me about it and encourage me to find a better fit.
Because of the lack of explanation, I'm not 100% sure what her reasons were, but I'd guess lack of progress and maybe non-compliance (from her perspective only). She was the pushy type of therapist, and would even trigger panic attacks in session while trying to pressure me to do flooding by myself. I would explain to her so many times that that was too much, and her "homework" was superficial and made me feel worse.
After a few months, I found a new therapist that is AMAZING!! If she suggests a solution to an issue I'm having, but it's absolutely not right for me, or I'm not ready to tackle it quite yet, I can tell her, and she says "ok." She doesn't get irritated or tell me to "just do it" like my old therapist. She's kind, patient, optimistic and flexible with her thinking.
But anyhow, the reason why I'm telling my little story is to convey how important it is to clearly and kindly explain why you're stopping the treatment. If you end things in an unpleasant or emotional way, it leaves a terrible impact on the patient. I really hope most therapists are better than my old one.
dude, a lot of therapists are abusive
Several years ago someone wrote in to Ann Landers inquiring about the chances of finding a competent therapist. She answered that it was about the same as finding a competent plumber or electrician, 50/50. Incompetent therapists need to be hounded from the profession. Please document your experience on yelp dot com, and don't be afraid to name names.
She should be discharged from service if that's the case. If she works for a clinic or hospital, let them know of he rharmful behaviour
As an adult it is no less painful. Being discharged by a letter without explanation is really hurtful and dare I say cruel.
@@tanyagioia829 I agree that it's callous and cruel at any age, but I hope you've since been able to find a great therapist yourself.
And for anyone else wondering about my OC from 4 years ago, I still have the same wonderful therapist. If you have a therapist that doesn't fit, try someone else. It's worth it to try to find the right therapist for you!
My old therapist had to end therapy with me but didnt explain properly the reasons behind her doing so... it broke my heart and for a long time meant I was both unwilling and unable to trust another therapist. Thank you for this video Kati, as always incredibly helpful and really... just reassuring I guess. xx
This is what I worry about. My friend had the same this happen to her. This seems like a shitty way to go about ending treatment :(
Seriously a alarming amount of these people without a doubt have one set of rules for you and your accountability and a whole other set for themselves.
There's another reason she didn't mention in this video but did mention in another, which is that if the client has an issue that you yourself have and haven't worked through yet, you usually can't treat them. I imagine this can even be an problem if you just recently worked through your issue, because you might naturally feel like your solution MUST naturally be the same as the clients.
All this being said, if my therapist ever discontinues work with me I will just assume he/she has fallen madly in love with me and needs to break off contact for the good of both of us.
@@therabbithat I love your perspective. 😄 I was just crying about this whole thing so much and felt an intense despair but now that I read your comment I feel much lighter again. Haha, thank you! ;)
That’s horrible as a professional she should have took this manner in a different direction
i panicked for a moment kati o my lord
Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you. xoxo Just couldn't figure out what to call it.
😂🤣. I didn’t panic, but, it made me curious.
The two therapists who ended with me was 1) one felt they weren’t qualified to deal with the particular trauma, and, 2) one was changing his client focus and we had made tremendous progress together.
Oddly enough, the making progress was the one that felt the strangest, yet, now, feels wonderful.
It was so difficult when my therapist let me go. She said that she feels she has done all she can and she encourages me to seek a new kind of therapy. I moved from regular talk therapy to DBT therapy. I got a more accurate diagnosis and treatment that I needed. It hurt like a break up.. however, I now understand why she let me go.
Why?
My therapist didn't end therapy but I was medically discharged from the military and she did research to find me a new one which was great!!!! Awesomeness all up in this video!!!! Love ya kati❤️
YAY! I am so glad she helped you find another one :) That's what we are supposed to do!! xxoxo
Bryson same exact situation but she found one that was just so tough so i went to another and she was nice so i liked her
Another is that the therapist is not dealing with their feelings towards you...counter-transference. They may develop feelings of anger or fear or romantic love for the patient which gets in the way of treatment. It becomes unprofessional and unethical to continue and usually they will refer you to another therapist and will not tell you the reasons or fib about it.
Totally agree, if you dont get a straight answer why your therapist is dropping you, it's a problem with THEM that they dont want anyone to know about
This just happened to me. I'm a female Veteran, I was seeing this 70+ yr old female therapist. She does NOT like the way I think. So she said she can't help me anymore and terminated the appt 20 min early. Shes always compared me to her male relative Veterans. "Oh THEY are doing well, why aren't you.".
As a respectful, appreciative patient it's so frustrating to have to start all over again. Especially if you pay, have basics anxiety (pandemic issues, grief, depression) and don't see a valid reason for being dismissed. It crushes us.
GUYS THUMBS THIS UP SO KATI KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE HER!!
Awe :) xoxo
I have never felt as rejected and alone as when my therapist said she would have to refer me to someone else. It was heartbreaking, but we talked it through and realised what was going on and we're trying to move forward now.
I got dumped by my therapist today. Out of the blue. No warning. I hit rockbottom and I guess I became too much for them. Triggering abandonment and Core wounds. I am too much for them and so they leave. Really inappropriate to do to someone who’s in a crisis.
Hey, how did you manage it back then? Going trough the same at the moment
@madalinamit4694 I've been through the same thing a couple of years ago, at the time I never planned going to therapy ever again. I wait several months and decided to try it again. I still struggle thinking about it sometimes but my new therapist and I talk about my old one still.
This actually just happened to me last week. My therapist that I've been seeing for almost a year decided that I would be better off seeing another therapist because we weren't making any progress anymore. I admit that it hurt me a lot to hear that and made me feel like I failed in someway. However I want to believe that this is what is best for me so I'm going to try to see where this leads.
Good on you! Sometimes people don't mesh with their counsellors and it's hard and makes things stall. You need to find someone right for you. Kati has some videos about why therapy sessions may stall, you should give them a look.
I had the same experience. Therapy didn't help at all. Medication is what really helped me get a lot better.
I've been seeing my therapist for 7 years. One on one and group. He isn't ever going to break up with me and I flat out tell him it is about the money but he says he slides his pay scale for me and could get other patients. He is a modern analytic. This woman seems textbook CBT/DBT, which seems academic to me. I express anger toward him regularly. It seems like this woman has thin skin and can't tolerate hatred of her by a patient. I have authority issues and especially with women so I'd just own her in a session. No offense lady, you seem nice, but I don't think we would be a good fit except for me to experience transference toward you with my issues, which could be helpful for me but stressful for you.
My heart fell at the title of this video.
Trying to get back in to see a counsellor or therapist again after even 2 years break is hard for someone with bpd. I've been rejected twice from a popular place which is worldwide because they say they can't help and with someone who has borderline personality disorder really knocks me down further and makes me feel more useless than I already did. The stigma for people with bpd needs to change. I'm now studying psychology and counselling at university level. I'm hoping to learn and teach others. Xox
Rainbow Butterfly I have BPD. I had an amazing year and a few months with a mental health nurse. I relapsed bad in March and it was really an eye opener to see how much she cared. She never gave up on me. We had a conversation about treatment resistance; we with BPD aren't stubborn. We're scared and the fear of abandonment gets in the way of our progess. I have been discharged from my nurse, not because I'm noncomliant, but because I'm well on my way in recovery. I will always have BPD and now I have a lot of skills to help me cope. Best of luck to you.
Therese O'Connor yeah. The counsellor I was trying to see again as she's known me for years cares about me bit unfortuantly her boss refuses to let me see her. I haven't done anything for them to do this. Im doing better and I'm dealing with having bpd better than I was over a year ago.
The most important thing is that the therapist clearly communicates the reason(s) for ending therapy. I had a therapist who 'surprised' me with not wanting to make new appointments and just vaguely recommended to consider inpatient treatment, handed me some leaflets and said goodbye ;). Not really helpful.
I guess my last therapist was scared of me. I told him I had bad anger issues and was a misanthropist. He seemed nervous and squirmed a lot. I never yelled at him. I cussed, but not at him. I never physically threatened him. I don't think he should be working with veterans. I wasn't the kind that suddenly had a flashback and went psycho because of PTSD. He got really nervous when I just talked about my last experience on the rifle range. The range was not in a combat zone.
1 week my therapist told me she was there for me, shes a safe space and not going anywhere.
The next week she told me she couldnt help me & had referals......because she helped more than hurt, I didnt pursue reporting her. That s* is dangerous. I should still report her...
When I get depressed I don't want to go anywhere so I miss my appointments. I stopped taking my medication because it's not working. I never follow through on anything. It's been a life long habit. I wish I knew how to change my behavior and attitude. When I get discouraged I shut down and it frustrates people including my therapist and Dr.
Donnettia Mayer been there. I had friends come with me/drive me and talked to my therapist about this tendency of mine. I also did phone therapy that I didn't have to leave my house.
Tell this to your counsellor! It's surprising how understanding they can be when you tell them this! If it's too hard to say aloud, then screencap it and print it off and show them! It's amazing how many concessions they will make when they know this is the reason you are skipping or why you've stopped taking your medication. Change starts here with this comment and letting them know this truth.
1Eilatan I do tell them but they don't think I'm serious about wanting help. I do want help. They took 2 of my kids because of my bipolar and borderline personality disorder. I just feel like I just don't care anymore because no one cares about what I'm going through. I just want to give up sometimes but I have to keep going for my daughter. I don't want to lose her too.
Maybe when you are feeling a bit better you could open up to them about that.. and let them know that that's what you do. When you aren't in it.. you may be able to figure out why that's your response and work to better fight against it. xoxo
I just got fired by my psych. I felt so rejected and confused. I am currently relapsing with Anorexia and my spiral is going very fast.
So this is very comforting. Thank you for sharing.
I have subscribed to you because you are so down to earth. You can see your honesty. The people that do get to see you are quite lucky.
You make a difference. 🕊
My therapist and dietician gave me a letter one day and said they were not seeing me anymore due to reasons 2 and 3. They knew I could not afford higher levels of care. It was so sudden, it sent me reeling way back into the eating disorder and I got so much worse. I’ve never felt so hurt and alone in my life. Don’t they have to give you a couple more sessions to terminate? From my perspective, this rule is not ethical at all. I went from seeing both my therapist and dietician each week to no support at all, which was harmful to me.
Thiss!!!!!!!!
Panicked because I thought this meant Kati was leaving!
Caitlin Quinn SAME
I thought that too.. But I am glad that I was wrong :)
I did as well!
same
Why?
I really appreciate this list. I am always worried that I will let myself and my therapist down by not doing the homework. Now I have more of a reason to try hard to get better. I do not want to lose a good therapist or fall back into bad things. I really want to get better. It's really hard to try sometimes. This list will help motivate me to keep working hard. Thank you
Well done Kati. I've had to terminate with a couple of clients over the years. It sucks, but unfortunately it's part of the process.
I’ve had both good and bad therapists. Some are basically “ how does that mak you feel” ..but the good ones dig a bit, ask where you want to go and how you see that improving
A change in health insurance can be a reason too! That's what happened to me :(
Oh yeah!! I didn't even think of that. Ugh.. insurance is so freaking annoying!! :( thanks for sharing!!
Yup, it is annoying. The best therapist from here has no contract with my insurance group, so either I pay for it with my own money (quite expensive) or find another one but the problem is, they're not so good and they're often not even therapists, just psychologists who can give me an appointment once in three months and not every week. Although I don't need therapy, I still insist on seeing a therapist because they have more experience and more education on how to work with the actual patients.Psychology itself is too general and theoretical here.
First time my therapy stopped, I turned 18 and had been waiting for 2 years since I signed up at 15. This time my 8 sessions are over, and I started in Jan so it should have ended well before now but this therapist wasn't very reliable. May or may not go and sign up again and wait another 7+ months to get another round.
THE TITLE OMG! I thought you were leaving TH-cam Kati!!! I am glad it was NOT that video!!! This was a truly a great video Kati! So much good info!! Thank you!!!
I read the video title and knew exactly what you meant but thought it was funny. **thumbs up**
I'm glad I'm not the only subscriber that thought Ms. Kati was leaving TH-cam! :-) I was watching another channel I'm subscribed to but when the title of this video scrolled across my notification marquee I immediately stopped what I was doing, muted my TV, quieted my boyfriend, closed the currently playing video and opened this one. Definitely glad she isn't going anywhere!!!
Aside from that: All 6 reasons for client discharge Kati listed seem to be broadly utilized as acceptable stipulations in a provider-patient terms of service agreement across the board not only in the mental health specialty but in every other facet of medicine, too, with the only exception being emergency departments (at least in the United States where anyone can go to the emergency department of any hospital in any location with confidence in knowing they will receive the best, most expedient care that specific emergency department is capable of provosing regardless of their emergency, ability to pay, citizenship status, background, mental health even if they're being detained by the police and are being evaluated for possible 51/50 involuntary hospitalization for dangerous behavior or for any other federally protected reason including, but not limited to; age, race, ethnicity, gender, sex, sexual orientation, religion and an endless list of other reasons).
Therapists don’t give a shit. My therapist abandoned me and made me more suicidal. I’ll never trust a therapist ever again.
Put off watching this because I thought it's really gonna be the end and I didn't think I could handle it, yesterday being a bad day. Feel a bit better today so went on to watch this. So glad it wasn't a real farewell, phew.
I never comment before but, Kati, your videos on depression and suicide prevention had been a great help for me this past year, having to deal with these issues on my own, without access to therapy or any support group. Please know I am truly grateful for everything that you have done through this channel.
That title scared me. My heart jumped for a minute there. I literally dropped what I was doing when I looked at my phone haha. Now I have to watch the video over again because after I figured out there was nothing to worry about, I couldn't focus on what you were saying because my mind kept going to what the world would be like if you actually did ever stop this. Oh Kati...
I don’t think therapists should just quit a patient so easily. It’s hashing out very private and personal stuff to a “professional” and then they are done with you when they deem it necessary. I feel rejected and abandoned by my therapist I thought I could trust. Now I have to find a new therapist I can trust and I have to rehash all the traumas to the new therapist.
They are selfish. I had a massive traumatic experience with a professionnal who ended with me just like this
um my heart dropped when i saw the title 😂😭😭 i love your content it helps me so much! please continue what you’re doing ❣️
My heart just about dropped when I saw the title of this video!!! But so glad you made a video about this, I'm currently afraid of IOP kicking me out because I just can't bring myself to open up. You videos are always so helpful!!!!!
Yay! I am so glad it was helpful :) Sorry to scare you with the title. xoxo
I was just wondering about this earlier today! It's like you read my mind!
Yay! I hope it was helpful :) xoxo
my very first therapist refused to see me after only two sessions because I didn't want to get on medication. The reason I was so against it is because she had only met me once before saying "Hey, you need meds" and it all felt too fast. Needless to say, that kinda made me not want to go back to therapy.
I had a psychiatrist who accidentally revealed in court that she was indeed prescribing everybody more meds than they needed because she felt pressured by her pharma rep...this therapist dropping you was a blessing in disguise
My therapist diagosed me with manic depression and prescribed meds for me after one session. I think they sorta help. I was just not consistent enough, skipping meds here and there to save some money.
Some people have severe illness that they need meds before starting the therapy (sometimes temporary) in order to make the therapy easy for the patient to take and to progress better.
EmptyGin good for believing in yourself of what you need, I had to take a antidepressant and I had 3 different Physciatrists whom neglected to wean me off the medication and now I suffer from high blood pressure from the medication.
@@dianabrown2258 Lots of mental health professionals, medical doctors etc are unfortunately pressured by big pharma which I really hate. Sad that thy apparently got into the professions bc they love helping others but harm them for their own gain...unethical AF.
Thank you Kati. Your videos always have important information. 🌸
Your videos are so helpful! It makes me feel less anxious about my first every therapy appointment after a decade long break!
My therapist is great ❤️.
Think you for being YOU Katie
Freaked out at the title. Thought you were leaving YT and were going to stop making vids. Thank gosh you aren’t. Love your vids and this was a super informative video.
Now, apart from abandonment problems ( which I know ALL too well) I just would like to say that therapists can be difficult and all too efficient themselves, ....in fact, even well-meaning, ready-to-oblige patients can be shocked sometimes, what degree of compliance therapists apparently expect.
loved this video☺️thanks Kati. thank you for everything you do for our community, we really do appreciate it x
kati, i seriously love you so much. your videos have helped me so much. i just want to give you a hug lol
You’re literally my favorite TH-camr. I want to be a therapist someday, and you are my biggest inspiration. I hope someday I can be as awesome of a therapist as you, Kati. 💛
I feel a lot better knowing that I'm not the only person that felt a stab of anxiety reading this video's title.
"not doing homework" Awww! That puts a lot of pressure on someone, I assume if they are working 40+ hours or if they have severe depression or anxiety they get more leniency with this?
I don't have homework, but it would be nice to have it though.
I like your channel a lot. You ask and answer tough questions. Thanks for putting out good content on a format dominated by junk.
Great video. Very useful and concise.
This was so helpful! Thank you☺️
Yay! I am so glad :) xoxo
Thank you. Your video made my day. You are the best ❤️
EMDR has been reviewed and is only recommended for PTSD now
Well, I'm glad you aren't stopping, I only just subscribed.
This information was very good to know. Thank you Kati
Another great informative video! I do wonder though if some therapist use these reasons as a cop-out. They simply dont like you and use one of these reasons to get out of treating you.
I would classify all of these as boundaries. In a therapy setting, boundaries are necessary in order for a safe and open space to exist.
I have been in therapy for 15+ years. When I moved cross country, I went to the phycologist and psychiatrist (they were in the same clinic) recommended by my insurance. The therapist was warm, patient, looked thru the work I had been doing, and created a plan for us. Basically, it was a healthy system.
The psychiatrist, however, made significant changes to my medication. He switched me from Seroquel to lithium. I was then prescribed both Xanax and Xanax xr apart the same time. He added an antidepressant. Then he added lamictal to balance the antidepressant. Then he added Risperdal. When my moods started swinging more, he added Depakote and increased my lithium.
I ended up hospitalized for lithium poisoning and was triggered into a full manic episode with psychosis. The lithium poisoning wrecked my balance, which still hasn't completely recovered, and I have tinnitus. The manic episode pasted nearly two weeks. It was literally hell.
When I got home from the hospital, I was served a letter from the psychiatrist and therapist saying I am not welcomed there anymore. I was then served a restraining warning from communicating or approaching them. I was barely able to walk, was in physical therapy, emotionally exhausted, and at a completely loss of what to do.
Luckily, the physical therapist knew of a psychologist group with an excellent reputation, the only draw back was that their M.D.'s and therapists usually had lengthy wait times. I gave them a call and after they heard my predicament, got me in quickly. Needless to say, he took me off of nearly everything, rerouted to Seroquel, Lamictal, and a low dose of Xanax only for anxiety/panic attacks. He got me with a primary care doctor who began treating me blood pressure and blood sugar. The previous psychiatrist continually said that those were all in my head. My new therapist has been fantastic.
I guess I am saying this because for all the good apples or there, sometimes you find a poisoned one. I didn't listen to my inner voice that he was not respecting boundaries. He didn't like when I questioned him. He didn't like when I told him about side effects. I paid the price.
I still have flashbacks, but I can deal with them. I just wish I had walked away when those boundaries were first ignored.
I went to a therapist because I was being abused and neglected by my narcissistic mother. The therapist didn't believe me at all when I said my mother was narcissistic. She didn't seem to have any real experience with people on that spectrum. It ended when the therapist told me I was abusive and therefore couldn't see me anymore. I then started seeing another therapist and am hoping to go again soon.
So relieved this is not a "Quitting TH-cam" video. YOU SCARED ME KATI!
I would never. I plan on doing TH-cam until I am old and grey.. xoxo haha!
Kati I just want to say thank you for everything you do and for being you. Thank you for making videos and being simply amazing. Your videos help me more than you probably know. When I'm having a bad day your videos always help me so thank you. Lots of love❤❤❤❤
I thought you were going to stop TH-cam and I was about to cry. Still a great video.
That’s an awesome video. Thanks so much.
Thanks so much for making this video. My therapist has referred me out for DBT and I've been feeling really bummed and hurt about it. But I've realized it's because she cares enough about me to want me to get the right treatment, not because I've failed her or because she doesn't like me. I guess it'd be like seeing a dermatologist about your skin cancer - they're not equipped to deal with that and they're gonna have to send you to an oncologist, someone who specializes in cancer. It's not that you're untreatable or they don't like you, it's just that they aren't equipped to help you with that kind of problem.
SUPER HELPFUL!!!
I was sooo upset when my therapy finished I personally didn't feel like I was ready.. Turned out I needed higher care I have psychosis
I'm now on quetriapine makes me feel sooo exhausted when I first have them (at night) the next day I'm like a completely different person lol their amazing
Thank you for sharing your Videos with us, it really helps
I was honest, did my homework and took my meds. But my therapist suggested I go to the hospital but we couldn't because we were snowed in. She freaked out and thought I was refusing to go to the hospital. She refused to see me anymore. It broke my heart
I know many people have said this already. I had a mini-heart attack when I saw the title. Your videos have greatly helped me improve as a person and I would have been really sad if that was the case. Really informative video! To be honest, I did wonder at some point about these reasons. Love your work, Kati. Keep it up!
Great to know!! Good way to get out of it.
Wow.... Sad but good info. Thank you for this video: therapists are human too!!! I hate saying hello to my caregivers outside of the office just because of the ethical boundaries. Please; anyone who reads this: do NOT talk about private issues in public to your caregivers!! They are human and NEED their safe places too! (Shopping, movies, grocery stores) say hello but do not dump your issues! Would YOU love to be a part of the issue outside of your work hours? Please have consideration for those who want to help you! ✌️
Well, I’m wondering if there are good reasons to stop therapy yourself. I quit therapy about 9 months ago now, and i made things better on my own. When i was getting therapy, it was forced on me, and I’ve always hated it. I think i therapy could still help me, but with my past experiences i just feel like it won’t do any good for me. Anyway, before i go off rambling about everything, what are reasons to stop therapy yourself?
Just Some Random Person I broke it off with my last therapist because I wasn't getting what I needed out of my sessions, and I found someone who was able to help me more.
cellogirl11RW I’m glad you found a better one.
I stopped seeing my last therapist because he insisted on continuing work on an issue I was having no problems with and he wouldn't help with the issues I was really struggling with. He didn't care to take care of real problems. I've "fired" a few others as well. It basically came down to the fact that I didn't feel they were able to help me any further. There should be open communication from both sides and you should feel your issues are being addressed and you're being helped.
Just Some Random Person Amen
viperchic78 This happened to me too, but I just rolled with it in a plaquating way in order to finally get to the actual root of my problem which was mentioned up front.
I'm really glad you did this video, my husband and are planning on going to marriage counseling in the new year, and I am also planning on doing individual therapy, and didn't think about the fact that I wouldn't be able to see the same therapist for both. I'll keep that in mind as we move forward, so we can figure out our best course of action.
I thought you were gonna stop posting after I saw the title of this weekend. my heart dropped and I got so scared.
P.T. - Oh my Goodness! I thought the same thing!
I even put off watching the video until I had taken my meds/vit.'s & had quiet time to watch it!
WOW - would that be a classic ex. of "catastrophizing" and "dramatizing"?
2 (of many) skills I'm practicing, at the suggestion of my great psychiatrist.
We love you Dr. Kati! (In a healthy boundary way).
I guess there's no uncreepy way to say that after this video, but I believe y'all understand.
Anyway, I have so many therapy stories. And questions.
But hell, this ain't Sister Shannon's blogging hour and I've dman near written a novella as it is.
God Bless all y'all.
Never stop fighting your illness.
perfect time for this kind of video since I actually came to that point with my therapist the other week. She wants me to go back to inpatient treatment.. I don't want to.. so I basically have no treatment at all now.. and my ED is getting worse again from day to day.. but she also said I may have to hit rock bottom to realize how sick I really am.
that's a relief. when i saw the title i thought you were leaving youtube
Some other reasons: if countertransference affects the treatment negatively; and if there is a dual relationship.
What is this?
Thanks this eases a lot of worries for me. I'm glad you'll still see us though :)
Literally almost cried. Please don't leave youtube ever.
You are so pleasant to look at
This was a really good video. I didn't realize about the couples vs individual counseling. That was a good point and makes a lot of sense. But I didn't like the title. I had to read the comments first to see if you were really leaving us, then I could watch the video. Don't make us sad Kati.
Great video (you spooked everyone with that title Kati) as usual!! Also, I think I would be really cool if you could do a video on something like finding your romantic/sexual identity and how that relates to finding a healthy relationship! Or something along the lines of how to be confident in your new identity etc. etc.
As a therapist, I can honestly say it’s not easy letting a client go. Not all, but some clients do not invest in therapy. They don’t follow through on homework, they want more of a sounding board. I had a client that wanted to just use therapy to pathologize every detail of their lives such as “I overslept, I must have this (x,y,z diagnosis) and every session was a new diagnosis seeking session. When I brought it up, they got upset. They lacked self-awareness and didn’t want to work on it. They were stuck and I began to get stuck after trying multiple things over a year, so I had to end it. They of course felt hurt and I understand that, but I found myself working harder than them and they weren’t able to budge, no matter how much I tried to provide safety and motivating support. Please know your therapist is a person too and they feel it when you’re upset, they also sometimes feel
Like a failure when you don’t get better.
Excellent video.
Can you make a video about reinforcement in therapy? My therapist is always talking about it. Like how me going to a residential level of care is reinforcing because I enjoy the support and safety. And how seeing me more often when I am doing poorly is reinforcing too.
I remember when I was in Therapie in grade 6 or so, because my parents felt like I needed help with organisation and because I had some problems with social situations. After some time, I actually lied about all the organization things that they have gotten better... Maybe I felt forced to do these things and just didn't wanted to do them...
But the therapist didn't care, or just didn't say anything about that again, even after talking with my parents. We were just focusing better on social things, where I myself wanted to get better, and there it really helped me, because I wanted a change.
I had a therapist tell me that she thinks we are done. We worked together for a long time and met all the goals I had for being in therapy. I just never expected her to end it.
If there's no need; why bother?
i didnt know #6. im looking for individual therapy and couple therapy in the future. thank you for the heads up. I appreciate your videos and efforts. thank you :)
It's hard when a client becomes attached to their therapist. The work the client needs to do might not get done for fear of hurting the therapist. I recently went through this.
Hey kati are you able to talk about situational depression and if you witness abuse/ domestic abuse? Thankyou for other videos😊💛
I’m disabled and sadly it snows here a ton. That makes it hard to get out of the house, so normally my therapist and I just play it by ear. Sometimes I’ll take a break until the snow melts.
The only experience I have with a therapist that stopped seeing me was when she left. She told it in my last session with her. Still kind of mad about that...
Stopping by to say hello. I found you in the youtube magazine. Happy holidays!!
Interesting video Kati, and very important to have this discussion. We often look into why clients stop therapy but why a therapists stops therapy is interesting. I think ethics are a huge thing here, something I think a therapist knows that the most has been gotten from therapy and so it has to stop. Thanks so much for this!
I can say the only reason my one real time of therapy stopped is because I turned 18, and I had waited for 2 years after signing up at 15 for it in the first place. This time if Therapy stops on Monday it'll be because my 8 sessions are up, if I decide to wait another 7+ months for another round of sessions I'm gonna get a different therapist, this one was just all over the place. (Mainly not turning up for appointments and not phoning the clinic until my appointment time when I had already been there half an hour because it's a long drive to the place, everything's in the sticks here.)
I find that when I’m not in therapy or actively receiving treatment, I want to get better. But the moment I receive help (therapy, residential, inpatient, php) I freak out and do everything I can to go against what my team are helping me with. I don’t know what to do...because right now I want to overcome my eating disorder 100% but I know as soon as I schedule anything for therapy and arrive at my first session, my mindset will completely change. My last therapist kept trying to convince me I needed a higher level of care for my eating disorder and after a couple appointments of her saying this and me not listening, she said that during my next session with her if I haven’t chosen to look into the idea of a higher level of care...that she would be forced to talk with my mom about it to ensure I’m getting the care I need. So I freaked out and cancelled all appointments I made with her and never went back. I told my mom that my therapist thought I was doing much better and didn’t need therapy as often anymore. WHY AM I SO RESISTANT TO TREATMENT?!
I feel like I deserve treatment or am “sick enough” to receive help UNTIL I actually get the help. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ it’s frustrating and it’s ruining my chances for treatment in the future. **The inpatient facility I always go to has gotten so frustrated with this that and the doctor I always get assigned that he said I can’t come back until it’s been a year. And if I try he won’t accept me. He’s probated me before because of pulling out my ng tube and when I left it in refusing to let them put anything through it (even water).**
I feel like this is my life now, I’ll always be stuck in the cycle of my eating disorder.