Signs you Might be Offering Bad Therapy
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 มิ.ย. 2024
- Signs you Might be Offering Bad Therapy
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Today we’re going to hop into a pretty hard-hitting topic: signs you might be offering bad therapy.
I was careful to word it this way, rather than titling this video “signs you are a bad therapist.” I’ve been guilty of using this phrasing in the past - I think even in some of my videos. But in truth, I don’t believe there are bad therapists. I do believe we are all capable of offering bad therapy.
So I thought it would be helpful to compile a list of some more telltale signs that you might not be offering the best therapy. If you’re finding that any of these items on this list might be true of your therapy work, then I strongly urge you to seek consultation and also to consider seeing your own personal therapist to help parse these things out.
00:00 Intro
02:37 1. Codependency
03:06 2. Quick to Judge
03:53 3. Lack of Empathy
04:21 4. Avoiding Consultation
04:52 5. Dismissing Feedback
05:27 6. Poor Boundaries
06:19 7. De-Prioritizing your Client
06:48 8. Forgetting Treatment Goals
07:07 9. Talking About Yourself
08:07 10. Practicing Outside Your Scope
08:31 11. Breaking Confidentiality
09:37 12. "Talk Bad" About Clients
10:33 13. Inappropriate Relations
11:56 14. Defensive with Client Feedback
If you'd like to report a therapist who's engaged in inappropriate relations, each state has specific avenues to do so. Here are instructions for reporting inappropriate behavior in the state of California:
www.dca.ca.gov/publications/p...
A quick Google search of "how to report a therapist for unethical behavior" in your specific state should reveal what options are available to you.
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This video is geared for therapists of all kinds, including psychologists, MFTs, LPCCs, social workers, and others in the clinical counseling field.
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This video is not intended as professional or legal advice. Be sure to seek the services of a professional if you are in need of them.
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I told my therapist to work on his self care so he wasn't always tired. He said i was a little aggressive pointing that out, but he had fallen asleep in my sessions multiple times. I just moved on.
I think it would have been better to directly tell him that you're unhappy that he's falling asleep instead of telling them to do something( providing solutions by assuming a cause) because it really isn't your place to do so. I'm sorry your therapist slept through your sessions. You deserve better.
A therapist falling asleep on their client in therapy is WILD. I've been tired in my sessions but I hide that fact & I push through. I'm sorry this happened to you!
Omg that's terrible and you were right to point it out.
Omg! I have heard this so many times! a therapist falling asleep?!!! Good for you for saying something and when he got defensive moving on. This should not have happened to you
@@chocpch Same thing happened to me with one therapist 5 times in 6 months: dozing off (and even snoring) during our sessions. I finally stopped working with the guy (an older man), after pointing out, time after time, that I was unhappy about going to sleep on me during my "therapy." He also wouldn't stop talking. He seemed to love the sound of his own voice, and would hardly let me talk during our 50 minutes together (he did about 80% of the talking during our sessions). Again, I told him I wanted him to listen to me a lot more, and not talk so much, that I needed to do most of the talking during my sessions, not the other way around. I couldn't afford to pay for another therapist (this particular therapist was mostly paid for by our church; I paid only $50 per session, otherwise I would have left is "care" much sooner). One session, before his heart surgery, the entire session was devoted to how scared he felt about his upcoming heart operation; he broke into tears at several points. LOTS AND LOTS of bad therapy going on, just like this, and the other types of things mentioned in the video. Most therapists are mediocre. Many do more harm than good. More than a few are actually abusive. I've seen dozens of therapists/psychiatrist in the last 50 years (psychiatrists are the worst offenders, some of the most arrogant and emotionally unintelligent people I've ever known). Once in a great while, you'll find a really good therapist, one that actually helps, and makes your life better. But you'll have to kiss a lot of toads before finding a prince. In my experience, it's about a 15% chance (if I'm being very generous).
Every therapist isn't for everyone. I also get clients who tell me they have seen 3 or 4 other therapists. Most of them tell me that their therapist was nice , professional, experienced, and knowledgeable, gave good info etc... but that the therapist didn't feel relatable enough or was not culturally competent 🤷🏽♀️.....
Loved your response 🥰
Culturally competent, that's very interesting.
Two things bad therapists seem to forget:
1) Just because they are not the patient does not mean that they shouldn't be a patient. Some of them should really be doing work
on themselves before they try to work with someone else.
2) They not only work with the client, they work for the client. So no power trips, please.
I was just set back quite a bit by a defensive, judgemental LCSW and the incredibly nasty, rude LICSW he works for. It is appalling that people like this are allowed to work as therapists.
You are correct.
And their shoddy practice goes on in private so they continue inflicting more damage. It's the patients who suffer.
There are many therapists with unresolved problems that project their issues/conflicts onto their clients. I believe I came across one recently. It was a very bad experience.
As someone who has been attending therapy/counselling on and off for 5 years, I would also like to add that another sign you might be offering bad therapy is sessions becoming about less and less significant aspects of the clients life. This might not apply to everyone as this is my personal experience, but, whenever I feel like a certain therapist is not for me, I stop talking about the things I came in wanting to get help with as I feel like I am not receiving any help and/or am not being listened to. Instead I focus on random moments throughout my day to day life that made me feel negatively until I can find a therapist that is more suited for me
lacking empathy, forgetting my treatment goals, getting defensive about me giving her feed back for deprioritizing me, is why I am dumping my therapist now. She lacks empathy. Me pointing out her behavior and following it up with "I am a person, and I am sitting in front of you" made her blow a fuse. Shame activated, projected, puked word salad at me, and was so aggressive I hunkered down/was taken back to my mother screaming at me.... horrible "therapy". 2 years with her and I have never trusted her enough to do emdr. i want and am ready to do emdr, just not with her.
Good for you for holding those boundaries!
Please, report her to her board. This really isn't okay.
My ex therapist exhibited a lot of these signs . It damaged me .
Had a therapist once that asked to come to a dance meetup once because I mentioned how I get anxious at those meetups. His excuse was he could sort of observe me in my natural habitat so to speak, but all I could think of was "what if I ended up dancing with him?" and that felt awful and creepy. So that didn't happen and I eventually moved on to someone else.
That is so strange
What about bad advice especially dangerous foolish advice in regards to abusive situations, making clients dependent on you for advice to cope with their anxiety, gaslighting especially in regards to dangerous or anxiety-provoking situation, under-empathizing with you, under-supporting you in traumatic situations, being cruel, and overobsessing on past traumas unecessarily.
This happened to me with my first therapist who ruined my mental health and my life for many years. There is very little info and protection out there for clients to know what therapy is supposed to be about and how to discern and protect ourselves from bad therapy
Just wanted to thank you. I just celebrated one year with my practice. I stayed committed to not taking insurance and it has been a bit slower to get going, but it grew and year 2 is on track to exceed my initial goals. I love my work so much that it rarely feels like work. I always felt that my work was more of a vocation but now it's even better without the trappings of working at a non-profit-which I did for 30 years. PAID MY DUES.
30 years?! Paid your dues indeed! Though I hope for a future where we don't have to feel like we all have to pay those "dues." Congrats on your practice taking off! I love that you found work that doesn't feel like work - I feel the same way!
Just to let you know, though, I’m sure those you served in a non-profit benefitted a lot from your therapy and reduced fees. Now you get to control what you charge, but keep in mind that therapy is not supposed to be a “get rich” scheme type of business - that’s a morally messed up way of looking at it. That said, if a client is well-paid, they should pay you what your worth, but always consider offering struggling patients with low income a sliding scale fee.
@@jonathanlorio3265 I agree! I offer a sliding scale based on income. Though I hope for a future where therapists can earn a living wage wherever they might work - including settings where third-party funding is supporting clients who otherwise might not be able to afford a sliding scale rate.
How are you marketing? I just went live last week.
Should be legally required to take insurance
I told my first therapist that I have realized that we are not a good fit and I wanted to find someone that specialized in my new diagnosis. She ended the session early and canceled our remaining insurance approved appointments! That was so incredibly childish and unprofessional of her.
@@MF13024 the conversation was whether or not she should request more sessions from my insurance not if we should end it right there. I didn't have anyone new lined up.
This is a tough and much-needed video for therapists AND clients, particularly as therapy's popularity has exploded on telehealth sites like Better Help. We all get it wrong sometimes, but NOT talking about it does even more harm. Thank you for taking this on, Dr. Fang!
I agree! Once we accept that we all mess up then it makes it much more possible to talk about it ❤️
You just described my first therapist who canceled my sessions twice until she finally left me. I’m with a second therapist and she’s great!
Actually, if you need to cancel a session due to family or other type of emergency, it's perfectly ok to explain that briefly to a client without getting into details. There is nothing inappropriate about it, and it's not a bad therapy.
I agree. We are humans too.
She said cancelling frequently
Not a therapist but I have been in therapy. It can be so hard to find a therapist who works for someone. Sometimes it isnt personal if a client isnt a good match. I had an absolutely sweet and wonderful therapist who was giving me advice that just didnt align with who i am. All the excercises made me feel uncomfortable.
I've had a couple of bad therapists in the past, they both threatened me too go too a hospital because they don't wanna deal with my problems.
I'm now traumatized of ever seeing a therapist
you should be wary of ever seeing a therapist. they are bad people. predatory. this video should actually say "sign of bad ppl #1; you're a therapist" they are dangerous people, not to trust with any thing they can use to hurt you! manipulate you, and or threaten you, because they will, as you've found out..
I would be wary of even using the word "traumatized" as it's one of their terms, and learning what these creeps are made of... is really a good thing in the long run that will keep your safer from their industry. they will have you institutionalized and drugged against your will in a heartbeat if you make their cushy scam feel to much like work
Omg thats awful. Ive never had bad therapists. I have had therapists that were just ok or not a good fit for me. After several years I did find the absolute best therapist for me. I have followed her to all her different locations in state then she moved to another state and I see her through telehealth. It can be hard to find a good therapist that is also a good fit for you. Now that I found one I go in for tune ups. Like I see my primary care medical doctor once a year for a physical I see my therapist a couple times a year for a mental health check up.
I’m in year 4 of seeing clients and I feel our field is so fluid; we are constantly learning and gaining knowledge. I appreciate this list and agree with all of the signs
Woah a therapist having a relationship with their clients woah 😳 🤯🤯🤯🤯 I thought this was just a TV thing but you see it a lot man that's horrible! Love your videos
If you look at the respective Board meeting minutes, a large percentage of things handled at register to boundary issues, including having sexual reasons with clients.
Regarding: Talking About Yourself. Sometimes I use this 'My friend John' method - by using an example to help the client feel not so 'alone' in whatever they are experiencing.
Whew I was nervous when I saw this video popped up. Luckily I passed! Although I remember when I was working at a non-profit organization with poor mgt and high workload that I experienced signs of burnout. Despite having empathy for my SMI clients, I recall there were moments I get irritable and frustrated when I had to do a whole bunch of case mgt and constantly think about how my clients can get better even when I have no control of their decision to stay on meds. But I would say that I have more control of how I manage my work as a therapist in private practice and definitely don't feel stuck with clients like I did when working at an agency because I am not forced to take on clients with symptoms I don't specialize in. Sometimes our companies make us give "bad therapy" because they have poor boundaries.
Wow, that's really well said. I too worked with many clients I wasn't well-suited or best qualified for while at an agency. It's not a win for the therapist or the client. Glad you've found your groove now!
Totally agree with this!
No one is perfect. The therapist I was seeing recently had too many red flags. Mentioning me to other clients and asking inappropriate questions were two examples.
Thank you for this video. Been through about 5 therapists in the past 2 years. I routinely come across women who expose so much about themselves in therapy - their autoimmune disorder theyre struggling with, their own "monster moms", their childhood trauma. When they talk about themselves 50%+ of the time and almost are brought to tears while talking about their own trauma during a session I am paying for - it's a sign they're not grounded enough in their own lives to be masquerading as a helping person for others and they need their own therapy before providing it for others.
It is obvious from the long list of services some therapists claim they can provide that they are not offering good therapy. It is highly unlikely that a large number of therapist are qualified to treat 7 or more issues. Borderline, NPD, ASD, addiction, OCD, PTSD, CPTSD, anxiety, depression, sexual/gender issues, relationship issues, the list goes on. It would take decades to study and master understanding of these issues and the appropriate treatment for them.
When I was in middle school, I was given a court appointed therapist due to false allegations my older sister made against me. She was diagnosed with schizo-effective disorder after the fact and it was determined that she has issues differentiating between fantasy and reality, so she likely just dreamed that it happened and believed it to be real, but I digress.
The therapist I had, let's say he just wasn't for me. I feel like he may have been projecting just a touch at times. He had a strange obsession with my dreams. I dream very often and vividly, to the point where it can feel extremely real, but they're simultaneously so fantastic that they can't possibly be confused for reality. This would've been okay for him to do, maybe not to the degree he did, if he had taken a Jungian approach to dream analysis as opposed to a Freudian one, viewing "dream signs" as objective and universal. I saw him every Wednesday, being pulled out of school for the session, and we'd go through the sort of "small talk" portion just fine (tell me about your week, how are you feeling, etc.), before he'd ask, "So, tell me about a stand-out dream you had this past week."
Well, one in particular that I told him about involved me being at this house that my dad and I had designed and hearing my little sister scream from the other side. I run out to see her in the pool, where there's a snake in the water. I grab a nearby shovel, scoop it out of the pool, then strike it on the head. Instead of dying, its head splits into two new heads, which is the point where I wake up.
When I told him about that dream, he simply said, "Well, it sounds like you want to sleep with your little sister."
"Excuse me?" Mind you, I'm 13 years old at this point. Sex isn't exactly something that's on my mind at all, and this guy is trying to tell me that I want to do that?
"Well, you see, the snake or serpent is representative of the phallus, and you attacking it is your instinct to destroy those emotions. It merely coming back twice as strong implies that you can't suppress those emotions."
I looked at him and said, "I dunno, maybe it has to do with the fact that I just finished editing my dad's book, which uses a lot of religious symbolism. It taking place at the house he wanted to build if his book became successful means to me that the emotional setting revolves around that potential success. I think the entire meaning of it is that I'm afraid of his book being successful and that it would cause a divide in the family."
"No, I'm the professional here. I think I'm right," and then he proceeded to talk to me about the emotions he claimed I was having.
Like I said, I think he was projecting just a little bit. He was definitely reaching with those conclusions.
One therapist I had actually dozed off 5 times in 6 months (and even snoring) during our sessions. I finally stopped working with the guy (an older, experienced therapist), after pointing out, time after time, that I was unhappy about his going to sleep on me during my "therapy." He also wouldn't stop talking. He seemed to love the sound of his own voice, and would hardly let me talk during our 50 minutes together (he did about 80% of the talking during our sessions). Again, I told him I wanted him to listen to me a lot more, and not talk so much, that I needed to do most of the talking during my sessions, not the other way around; again, I explicitly addressed this concern of mine several times, with no result. I couldn't afford to pay for another therapist (this particular therapist was mostly paid for by our church; I paid only $50 per session, otherwise I would have left his "care" much sooner). One session, before his heart surgery, the entire session was devoted to how scared he felt about his upcoming heart operation; he broke into tears at several points. LOTS AND LOTS of bad therapy going on, just like this, and the other types of things mentioned in the video. Most therapists are mediocre. Many do more harm than good. More than a few are actually abusive. I've seen dozens of therapists/psychiatrist in the last 50 years (psychiatrists are the worst offenders, some of the most arrogant and emotionally unintelligent people I've ever known). Once in a great while, you'll find a really good therapist, one that actually helps, and makes your life better. But you'll have to kiss a lot of toads before finding a prince. In my experience, it's about a 15% chance (if I'm being very generous) that a carefully chosen therapist will turn out to be a good one, about a 15% chance you'll get an abusive therapist/psychiatrist, and about a 70% change you'll get a mediocre one not worth the money you're paying. But it gets worse. Today, young therapists are trained to be highly "woke." If one doesn't subscribe to woke ideology, that's another likely barrier to success. Talk to a friend, or church counselor, or check a NAMI group, instead; really, there's a WAY better chance you'll actually get help that way, and at no cost. Mental health care in the U.S. is largely a racket, falsely advertised to be effective when actually it's mostly ineffective, frustrating, a hugely expensive - a waste of time, hope, energy, and money.
I'm a therapist, lovely video. Lots of great advice there. When I was in 3rd year supervised practice, my partner and I were trying for a baby and she experienced a miscarriage. I saw a client a few days later, and it all came out. I was in a really bad way, but to give the guy his dues, he was totally cool with it. He was a father of three and even counselled me briefly 😂. Mistakes happen I suppose, and that was a major rookie mistake. I took it to supervision as I was really embarrassed about it and felt ashamed for behaving like that with the client. My supervisor told me to get up, and get on with it. I took that advice and worked through the grief before seeing anyone else. Therapists are humans too I guess. It can be a tough ol' road sometimes 😉😊
I'm terrified to watch this, but I think it's good to find out if I'm guilty of bad therapy. Let's find out how it goes.
I still think it's important to emotionally vent. Sometimes you can just have clients who can be a drag. I've done my fair share of work in residential, and the behaviors can be pretty deep. Therapists are people too.
That's a great clarification. I don't believe all venting is bad. The memories I had when I made that reference were when a fellow therapist would step into a shared staff room and talk bad about a client's character for all the agency staff to hear. That doesn't feel productive to me. But venting has it's value in the proper setting!
Can you make a video on good vs. bad supervision relationships and all context relating to supervision? I am currently in a horrible ethical dilemma with my supervisor. Not sure if you ever contact viewers/other therapists, but if you do I could definitely use more assistance and your expertise on this issue!
Yes, please. I would love this too!!
Me too! I'm currently in a questionable relationship with my supervisor
Thank you so much for this video
Thank you so much for this.
Great vid! Thanks
Do therapist make phone calls during session?! My god
How about if you’ve abandoned a client?
Thank you! Such an important conversation! I have heard these things from clients as well, and it's always good to check in with ourselves as therapists!
Thanks for this viseo. I am happy to know that i am on a right track ❤
Thank you for this video! As a beginning PT, not only is it so comforting to be able to check myself in such a structured way, but it restores my faith in the practice to see best practices so effortlessly normalized. Too often people meet places of ambiguity in this work with "a what the hell effect", and take it as a blank cheque for bad conduct - both in cases of negligent therapists and teachers, and of clients gaslighting themselves in response. It's not an easy job, but that's exactly why we need to be clear on what's okay and what's not.
I understand the need to differentiate between bad therapy and a bad therapist-it can be easier for therapists to discuss some of these things if they aren't just labeled as a bad therapist. But, there are some examples you gave that I would absolutely label as being a bad therapist. Having a sexualized or sexual relationship with a client is one example. I don't care if it's not the label that a therapist would want, it's wrong and every therapist knows it. I am still trying to recover from it happening to me, as a client, with a therapist. The damage it causes is severe and victims of this have been known to unalive themselves-that's how serious it is. Breaking confidentiality is another subject that every therapist knows is of utmost importance. I would also add that if a therapist is doing any of these things you mentioned repeatedly, it seems they have an inability to be self aware. That could be a sign of being a bad therapist and in the end can cause a lot of damage to clients.
Thank you for this video, this is very useful and I will keep it as a reminder at the back of my head!!! Please make some more and remind us also how to be a great therapist!!!
Will do! :)
Thank you so much for this video, I feel like I hear plenty of messages from clinicians to clinicians talking about how to avoid burnout, but not enough about keeping ourselves honest and on top of our game.
I do wish humility had a greater emphasis as a desirable virtue in our field. Hopefully that can shift!
I'm so thankful for your youtube channel! I'm thinking of starting a private practice or joining one or something and hesitant. Your videos have been very helpful!! I hope it's ok to ask... but a question I have is- do you think a therapist should always have weekly supervision or just someone to speak to when they need consultation (assuming obviously they don't need the hours). Thanks again!
My therapist said she can't help me until/unless I get sheltered. We get told that mental illness is the root cause of homelessness but then therapists can't help you if you're homeless. 🙄
This feels like being behind the curtains!
Thank you for this video. I found a therapist and had a couple sessions until I decided to stop seeing her. At first she seemed nice. But she misconstrued something I told her, judged me and told me I needed to grow up because of my decisions (single mother, financial topics), try to push me to find a job(on leave from my job, dealt with issues there but working on transitioning), dismissed my feelings about my discomfort with my stomach issues and made comments trying to be “culturally competent” (I’m black and Mexican). I am feeling depressed and have anxiety. I felt even worse and was triggered a lot cause of these sessions. Luckily, before seeing her I had an amazing therapist but she took a break. I also have been doing the work to navigate through my feelings and change my financial situation but still feel low a lot and anxious. I knew intuitively these things said to me were wrong. Now I have a good psychiatrist that does both and now starting medication (had a fear of meds). I feel like we are actually doing the work to helping me through this process so when I go back to work and eventually start a new job I can function again, be joyful and focused. 💕✨🙏🏽
Thank you, Marie! As a 22 yr.business owner in Emotional wellness, these are great tips for newbies and reminders for all of us that are seasoned! Please continue!🙏🏼❤️
I think it also depends on where you provide therapy. In CMH, we provided therapy in the field. Also, I am going to offer ‘meal support’ and ‘walk and talk.’ It depends on one’s niche and is based on the therapeutic frame.
Ty for making this ❤️
my history professor in college used to be a psychiatrist. he told the whole class about his former client whose mother was a famous actor, name, details... also, not really elevant to history class
I was hesitant to watch this video because I was afraid I was probably doing some of these things. But when I listened to it there’s not one that I do. I think that the way that you’re saying it is so delicate and saying that we all make mistakes could apply to some of the things that you say but some of the other things that you’ve mentioned it’s not bad therapy, it’s horrible and not even therapy.
The things that I feel like I’m not very good at things like remember in theory and not knowing enough theory specific interventions. I think that having read your mind for therapist by Daniel Caesar and I believe just like the first few chapters gives you enough to know how to conduct yourself as a therapist with a client. Follow those steps and there’s no way you could commit the wrong doings that have been mentioned in this video.
My last therapist must had an addiction to a mind-altering substance or the beginning of dementia or Alzheimer's. The symptoms of those were visible during our sessions. It was disconcerting. I am pointing it out as a possibility for those seeking therapy. Therapists are human subject to the same things we are.
So I'm actually a dog trainer but I find your videos incredibly helpful.
What resources are there for folks in similar but non-therapy type industries to protect ourselves from these mistakes?
It's incredibly difficult since it's an unregulated industry and people have all sorts of myths about dog training. Private training often feels like this mixture of being a family counselor, a coach and a hokey salesperson in addition to trying to know the skills of the trade.
I also studied Early childhood education for a bit but ran into the same issues and decided to go back to dogs.
Part of me has considered taking a social working degree in hopes that I could learn better how to tackle (or know when to disengage from) the issues I see that are often entangled with dog training and care.
I hard second this, there are so many things that I didn't understand until after years in my field - and I'm someone who needs help getting over another trauma with a dentist, which then got worse after having a close friend start a bogus sober house to fuel his own sex addiction - I'm not interested in letting myself live in fear, but I also know I'm kind of walking blind into a dangerous zone
I would love to see more discussion on being an effective therapist in an agency setting. I know I've experienced some of these signs (or witnessed them) at my cmh agency, and it can feel really restricting to work in am agency that dictates the type of therapy you do - along with which clients you "have" to take etc
That's a really great question. That's a huge reason why I left agency work, but I'd love to see more systemic reform so that agency work has room to be more sustainable for therapists. I'll keep an eye out though to see if I can find a helpful person to interview about this who has more expertise on the subject, thanks!
Thank you for this video. I'm from a very poor country where therapy doesn't work and I found myself in so many of the situations you described. After 34 times of trying to work with different therapists, I gave up and found some relief in motivational self help books. I'm happy that there are people out there who want to improve the quality of their services and actually care about their clients (here they will only tell you what you want to hear, they will be smoking, eating etc while having a session and basically waiting for the time to pass), keep posting, your channel means a lot
I'm wondering where you are from, dear😊
I've had similar experiences in the US unfortunately because I am poor. I also have gone to multiple therapist for years without proper treatment and my last one is as you described. She was walking around the office filing papers as I was trying to have my session. I also have found help from reading and I find mindfulness and philosophy helpful.
Currently preparing for an arbitration/investigative interview. The therapist in question ticks 8/13 points you bring up.
I really liked this video! I'm a new graduate student, and this gave me insight into what to look out for. Out of curiosity, what do you mean by consultation? Is that another name for a therapy season?
Yes, a lot of therapists go to therapy themselves
I appreciate this list and agree tot ally with it. I have a question. Where can I find a good reliable virtual therapist to do personal counseling before I embark on my own therapeutic services. Would appreciate yours and any one else’s feedback. Thank you in advance.
I soooo appreciate the direction your provide to "seek consultation" or "speak to your supervisor" or "explore with your own therapist" when all of those signs come up. One thing I used to struggle with was over empathizing with my clients, to where I would be stuck on how I could help as a therapist, especially as a new pre-licensed therapist at an agency where I was expected to see multiple clients a day with just the 1-3 hours of supervision a week as support. Dr Fang, you continue to provide such valuable, and ethical information, to therapists. I would not have my own private practice today if I did not stumble upon your videos a few years ago when I needed some real direction on what kind of therapist I want to be. :)
BTW - excuse the grammatical errors... :)
Consultation is not always readily available for any given therapist at any given time. Sad, but true.
How about not having clear treatment goals, or starting with some goals but veering so off course that treatment goals are eventually lost or forgotten?
As to client wanting friendship/relationship, is it OK to firmly and clearly explain that and why this is inappropriate and would be letting him down and hinder therapy? When lacking clients, it is hard to end the contact because of this. And is it wrong to get annoyed and tell it when he every time disrespects the time-border and goes on and on talking despite I having said that time is up?Someone well grounded would not have to show that, but signal in such a way that the other would not even try. (?) - Thank you for your kind video, helpful to both parties!
I want to send this to my therapist but I don't know if she'll take offense
send this, if she is good you will feel happy talking about it
Or be direct and have a conversation about your concerns in your next session. If they get offended instead of being curious and receptive about your concerns, you have your answer....
All of this is why I have decided to leave the field. It’s just too much for me but this is good info for sure for those that are still therapists.
Yes I am there's and going throug countsel as well
I can use a lot of this stuff on the Therapists that I had already..
I think some people should have never become therapists. There is too much negative feedback abiut therapists to think its just the therapy. It took me 9 years and going through 6 other therapists before I found a great therapist. She moved so it took me another 4 years and going through 3 other therapists before I found a phenomenal therapist. Ive been with her for 5 years now. I only need to see her every couple of months to check in. I work full time, and I am a full time masters degree student with 2 teenagers. Needless to say something is always coming up that I need some help with.
So my therapy asked me if I threw things around in my apartment. He asked me if I screamed in my home. I don’t. So why ask ? And he said that it’s okay that my dad fondled me and verbally abused me because it wasn’t in the wrong place. So he sucks.
Very helpful, I wish none of them had ever applied to me, but I for sure have lacked empathy or had some codependence in the past. Fortunately I had great supervision and was able to ask for help to get perspective.
For 8, wouldn't that depend on ones theoretical orientation? I am still new to practice and seeing clients and I absolutely can't wrap my mind how to set and adhere to treatment goals and when to begin actively working on them. The more I read about it, the more confused I become because everyone says different things😅
im going to be going into grad school sometime next year (hopefully ill be accepted, i graduate with my undergrad at the end of this upcoming fall semester in December). But my worry is a lack of empathy, any tips on how to start working on this aspect? I am capable of empathizing with people for experiences I went through personally, maybe i should try and specialize in therapy for addiction (sex/drugs/alchohal/gaming)? of course i can empathize outside this realm, id honestly like to do therapy on just general mental health with everyday life stressors/anxiety, as this is something which lead me on a path to addiction as a way of escaping my own reality. But i just worry i might not be able to empathize, i don't know why, i just have this fear i would struggle in this area. I have experienced empathizing plenty of time, even when it comes to just watching someone perform badly on stage and just having this "stage fright"/embarrassing feeling they might be experiencing during those moments. But i just worry i might not be able to empathize when it comes to other issues people talk about from their past i cant observe directly, and hadn't experienced directly. Maybe its just a worry i have, but i still would like tips on ways to help improve this aspect for me, just in case.
The best way to become a better therapist is to go to therapy. It will make you sensitive to your counter transference, and give you a good read on what it is like to be the client.
you mentioned to not talk about yourself like "oh this reminds me of what happened to ME..." so i was wondering, is it also not okay to give examples of the thing happening to other people? like "oh one time i saw/heard about/treated someone with this and that and they did this and that" is that also bad therapy? or is it okay as long as it helps the client? or should we just completely not use examples? (im just a student btw, not a counselor)
As a client, I don’t personally like it. I’d rather you just try the thing in question with me without centring your other client.
Self disclosure is a tool that has appropriate and inappropriate applications. Some clients appreciate a little relation WHEN IT MAKES SENSE some really need none at all.
What's to do if I m work on counseling or other
I've sign of bad therapist number 9 . Talking about myself ... It's my bad habit I think
This is a Violet Turner callout video!
I had to google the name. I haven't seen Private Practice but apparently I need to check it out!
There is a lot in this video, but some of this is not appropriate for all therapist. It really depends on the environment. Thank you.
This one “thumbs down” is probably from the one, who recognized himself/herself as offering a bad therapy. :)
🤣 Can't make everyone happy...
Great video and all of these are on point.
I would say that being able to talk about client work with one's partner, select colleagues, or one's therapists (and of course in consultation and supervision) is okay and important. Of course, not disclosing identifying details and with people understanding that those stories are not to be shared elsewhere.
It's weird to be in a profession where a huge and important part of your life can't be shared with others, even though I understand all the reasons why that's critical. Just saying.
As a therapist in training, not doing these things is so obvious to me. This comment section is wild! 😮
How unbelievably compassionate. Honestly, I would definitely use the term bad therapist. And I think that’s definitely true. But thank goodness you made this video because ultimately you’re right. This is likely happening way more often than people just being bad therapist. Good video!!
Unfortunately don’t think people who give bad therapy will watch this as they don’t usually do much research - another way to practice bad therapy
Dismissing and minimizing my concerns. Makes me feel like I am the unstable one in the relationship even though she knows that I am dealing with a person with a narcissistic traits. Now she works with him separately (on “his issues”) while I will be taking a special short based trauma therapy (for my issues). I wrote to her about my concerns that (while she is working separately with him) he plays “charming” with her but is using manipulative tactics “behind the scenes”. She has witnessed in the past and fully aware that he has a covert narcissism and autism, so instead of reassuring, listening, validating me etc… I only feel like that I am the main issue in our marriage right now. I am shocked to be honest.
I have too make this clear, narcissists and autism are both separate things. Don't compare autistics too those psychos. I'm sorry you're dealing with an abusive partner, just keep in mind that if someone else has autism, it doesn't mean they have narcissistic traits
Is it bad for me to send this to my counselor?
It’s a tragedy that some bad therapist nowadays going to the coaching business where their bad therapy cannot be trucked or reported. They are working independently and even call themselves “experts” in their filled and charge the same if not more then average therapy.
I prefer coaching. I tried psychotherapy based on depth psychology and it was not at all goal oriented. I just kept retelling traumatizing events from my past and received a bit of empathy for those, but I didn’t even understand why I should go through all this pain again.
The therapist was very passive. I need a more hands on approach from someone who knows where we’re going. Coaching is usually future oriented and the client is considered healthy. I prefer that.
i feel quick to judge the letter q in that font
I wish I could send this to my therapist lol. I felt so harmed. The defensiveness was a huge one. she only accepted "feedback" that was framed as me as a problem. Too many therapists are narcissists.
sometimes its not "bad therapy" but a client has to click with their therapist. shopping around is okay for a client. so this list is a good litmus test
What about you begin therapy because of a sudden break-up with your long-term partner. Your therapist was the cause of the break-up because they were having sex with your partner, only you don’t know this. The therapist doesn’t admit this even though you attend weekly for six years.
Poor boundaries?? Dishonesty??
Is itt a bad idea to send this your therapist?
To *
No and please do so if you are not comfortable!!
Did you send it to your therapist? I’m thinking about it!
Only issue I’d worry about is that if they’re the defensive type they’ll probably get reeeeeeeally defensive about this video…
pfft! 4th therapist! maybe when i was 10
Would it be inappropriate to send this to a current therapist?
It is perfectly fine though to share wth your spouse, actually it is useful. Just do so without identifying characteristics
Abcd
Some of this is simply untrue
10
Video therapy should not be recorded and stores without patient’s knowledge.
Sometimes it’s a sign you’re just burnt out too
Information circles 😂
All of the "mistakes" therapists make are 100% intentional.
lol. Practice building techniques eh?🤣
@@lamentate07 So therapists damaging clients is funny to you?
@@Khalfrank No it isn't funny at all. I had a very bad experience with a therapist that was damaging. I actually reported her to the board.
It's more the cynicism about mistakes that I thought was amusing.
@@lamentate07 When you call out a therapist for their toxic abuse they will deflect and say "it was a mistake or none of that was deliberate". Just gaslight and not take responsibility and they are supported to be the experts?
@@lamentate07 BTW, I also had a shitty experience with a evil therapist. My narcissist mother was the reason I ended up going and she picked him because of "race". He damaged me and I was horribly traumatized for life. My evil sick mother KNEW at the time he could be reported but didn't want me getting justice and reporting that crooked bastard, like all narcissists she wanted me to suffer in silence.
Information war. -_-
Signs that you are offering bad TH-cam content is that the constant starts 2 minutes and 40 seconds in. I have yet to see the rest so I do t know if the rest is going to be worth it yet but I sure hope so! Consider dropping some of the preamble please.
Overpriced, BS