Exactly. Narcissists I have known have been intelligent enough to know what words to say, what actions to take, etc to mimic a wonderful person. Key word: mimic. Then once they hook a person in, their real self begins to show more and more (unless maybe they want something from that person. Then they can keep covering up).
It’s amazing how YOU are the one with all the issues and how they get so angry, whilst going on and on about all the “ wonderful “ things they do and have! 🙄
Telling a narcissist what you really feel and calling them out can be cathartic for you if you don't let them overwhelm or gaslight you, but it certainly won't cause them to change. The best way to deal with a narcissist in your life is to cut them out of it completely.
Yes! I am looking for an attorney, it’s hard though I do not have the funds to get a real lawyer like Rebecca Zung. You are one hundred percent! Stay away from the narcissistic and if you wind up getting married to one, get out quickly. I’m glad you are now free from your X. Some day I’ll be free as well.
Any reaction from you gives them energy. They seem to feed off negativity and like tearing ppl down, making you the lesser person. They can suck the soul out of ppl.
@Irish girl 72 I’m so sorry that we have to go through this, however our heads up high, smiles galore, we are warriors. I to am looking to divorce I’m done. We can be our own enemies, we don’t need the bully. Good luck Lady Luck and the lord prevails.
A narcissist being "over dramatic" is called lying. They are incapable of speaking frankly. Their loud is lying. The narcissist doesn't listen to votes. "Grandstanding" is not remotely the same definition as over dramatic. One is lying, the other is not. The loud "grandstander" is right. He is quality. He will stand up for himself. A narcissist doesn't grandstand, but is over reacting. A reactionary person. Opposite of a liberal. One is luxury and one is quality.
My narc siblings killed my dad. No jail for them, because they manipulated the police. And since then they are trying to destroy me with terrible smear campaigns. I know, they would also kill me, if they could.
@@SN-bl6xm They can be dangerous. It's disgusting that there are naive therapists out there that say narcissists aren't dangerous. A lack of empathy, and feeling entitled doesn't make anyone immune to murder. If a therapist hasn't experienced narcissistic rage then they better well learn about it. Dr. Ramani has an excellent video that she put out today ( Oct.30) on Narcissism and Domestic Violence . I would encourage everyone to watch it and send it on to anyone that could benefit from it. Stay safe.
Years of therapy The damage they cause is unforgivable. 18 years of yelling & screaming & abuse blaming me for everything or kids. Dont look back dont feel sorry for them. Run.
@@sparkleighann7282 how about 43 years worth but I didn't know as much as I do now , found out 2 years ago , it was horrible and dealing with it . I became my own investigator . Everything with him is extreme x Hundreds of thousands women.
Trying to leave for many many years now.. but i'm such a idiot that always feels straight away sorry when he comes tearing up if not to me then our kids... The kids are so done with him and our relationship. its been a messed up one for 18 years (kids are 11 and 14) They basicly hate him now . I'm doing my very best to keep my distance. For some stupid reason i convinced myself if i love him enough i'll make him better , 'heal' of his horrible shit life that made him the way he is now.. But i guess i'm the one that needs healing now and stay away as far as possible before i lose my kids and myself 😢
Totally cause they reep their seed & act all nice.. than Boom 💥 Abuse .. Very validating. Stay one step ahead mentally.. it’s him .!!!!! Remember stay safe..
Once you've had a relationship with a narcissist and learned what they are you can spot them easily. You start to realize they are everywhere. Even the covert narcissist becomes seen fairly quickly. You start to realize they gravitate towards jobs that wield power such as cops, Doctors, politicians. These fields are rampant with narcissists. These people are the biggest threat to humanity. Educating yourself will help you immensely. God bless you who reads this! 🙏
Thank you, dr Phil. I wish I had known this when I married a narcissist at 18, he was 25! Spent 25 years of him telling me I was crazy. I was crazy for marrying him.
You poor darling.. what a A###H::: … You deserve love and respect. Stay positive & Don’t let him ever tell you your Crazy.. He is Crazy & does not deserve you. God Bless ✨🙏☘️
I know what you mean. I wish there was some program (maybe online) that young people and anyone dating could take that would teach them about signs of narcissists and toxic relationships, and also teach what a healthy relationship looks like and can be like. It would have to be something well advertised so that everyone knew it was out there. A relationship with a narcissist is not a two way street , it's a one way street it's always their way or no way.
@ Anita Farrar Feel your pain, I also wish I had the understanding of a Narcissist Sociopath now when I was 17, I married a 23 year old Narcissistic Sociopath, who continued to get worse by the day, for the 41 years I was with him, trying to convince myself that it will improved when..... it did improve it saved my life when I packed 2 small suitcases and flew to the other side of the country, started intense counseling for DV, and blocked him completely out of my life! You be proud of you and never forget you are Lovable and Capable 🌺💕💯
Narcissists should NEVER be underestimated. Phil is taking a kindergarten approach to a graduate level of potential harm. These people are dangerous and hard to spot. They're true wolves in sheep's clothing. There is no such thing as a safe narcissist. Remember that. Like your life depends on it.
The vulnerable or covert narcissist is the most dangerous individual on earth as they present as a sugar coated butter confection but when no one is watching they show they are really rotten meat coated in vomit and diarrhea.
I HAVE this effect on My sons new wife😢 I catch her lying, she deflects and swears at me, then told my son to get me out of "her" house! So I travelled interstate to not see my son, she's evil!
I married a narcissist. 12 years, 3 kids. I escaped but until the boys were 18 it was still hell. You can’t know, you can’t tell unless you’ve been thru it. I can spot one a mile away now. I appreciate my new life now with a loving husband more than I can say.
I was with mine for 22 years and got out. Took almost a year to get away totally. Thankfully we had no children but we owned property together and the sale took several months and he felt he hadthe right to be in my life until it was sold. Once our divorce was final he called my office a lot and I refused to talk to him and left multiple angry messages. I finally got so fed up all calls went to voice mail (no caller ID then) and I screened. As soon as I heard his voice I deleted the message.
Wish we could talk. I can’t tell if I am living with one or if I am overreacting or overly sensitive. I am so glad you got out and are living a happy life now! It’s what we all deserve!
Lawyers and Judges NEED to be educated on these monsters!! There is A LOT of injustice out there which can be prevented if the courts learn and understand the signs of narcissism!
unless u truly know the individual its almost impossible to tell the difference between a narc, and a a hole. the system does not, or will it ever care.
This is SO important. However like the other comment stated. It’s highly unlikely. The system is so broken and they don’t actually care even though it’s literally their job to care and make sure the children are safe and in the best situation they can be. Rarely ever plays out as such in real life. The judge only judges on what he sees in the court for the brief moments your in front of him. If you’re in court for custody in the first place means there is one parent that is unruly, illogical and unwilling to put the needs of the children first since 2 NORMAL parents can almost always work it out in mediation. The judges NEED to effing understand that and they just don’t and countless childrens lives have been ruined bc of it.
@@michellematteson7267 the judges one goal is to appease, and reward the mother for destroying the family. there is a false facade of "the children crap", but in reality he could care less, proving it by actions.
The worst thing for a narcissist is for them to realize you see them exactly for who they are. If you have a narcissist in your life don’t expose them until you’ve built up a barrier between them and yourself.
@@chrisomoding9890 hi. Depends on how old you are, if you live at home. If you are on your own it’s easier to control. Do not accept money from a narc parent. It gives them control. Grey rock. Talk to them with “small talk” only. No details about your career, partner, etc. Both my parents were narcs. 😊 I left the state they lived in as soon as I could.
@@turnbacktime65 I Sorry to here that. Yeah you have to move away from them and limit how they can hurt you before you allow them to realize you are gone
If you're an empathic person you'll possibly attract them. I've had two in my life. I've gone no contact with the last one but now he's my stalker! They can't stand loss of control. Ugh!
I’m in the same situation. I’m kind & I will not tolerate His narcissistic behaviour anymore. Sorry your feeling this also. You can’t win with Manipulating & controlling Behaviour. It’s awful. Yet tonight I’m happier as I’m 👻 Ghosting him. … which really works. It’s hard though cause we share Two sons.. I want to be put on a pedestal like I deserve.. he ( the Bully) puts himself on a pedestal and I’m stomped on. Unfortunately for him I see the big picture.. I’m done ✅ Divorced & Am my Queen 👑 on the Chess board of life with a Idiot…stay Safe and be you Missy ☮️☯️💜
May narcissist family members are stalking me. I know bad things they did, what would get them in to prison. So they are really trying to have full control over me.
Well, I must say, the world of narcissism is a fascinating one. While many people are aware of overt narcissism, where individuals display grandiose behavior and seek constant attention, covert narcissism is a whole different ballgame. Covert narcissists are masters at hiding their true selves and manipulating those around them. And yes, they do have some rather peculiar habits that set them apart from the rest of us. One weird habit of covert narcissists is their constant need for validation. Unlike overt narcissists who seek validation through external means, covert narcissists have a more sneaky approach. They often fish for compliments or sympathy by subtly dropping hints or making self-deprecating comments. They feed off the reassurance and affirmation they receive from others, and this habit can become quite exhausting for those who have to constantly boost their fragile egos. Another strange habit of covert narcissists is their tendency to play the victim. They are skilled at playing the sympathy card and making others feel sorry for them. They will twist situations to make themselves appear as innocent victims, even when they are the ones who caused the problem in the first place. This habit allows them to manipulate others into feeling guilty or responsible for their actions, ultimately gaining control over their emotions and actions. Covert narcissists also have a knack for gaslighting, which is a rather disturbing habit. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the narcissist distorts reality or denies certain events to make their victim doubt their own perception and sanity. They will subtly twist facts, change narratives, or even outright lie to make others question their own reality. It's an insidious habit that can leave victims feeling confused, doubting themselves, and trapped in an emotionally abusive cycle. Lastly, covert narcissists have a peculiar habit of being overly sensitive to criticism. They simply cannot handle any form of negative feedback or constructive criticism, often reacting with extreme defensiveness or passive-aggressive behavior. They have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe that they are above reproach. This habit can make it incredibly challenging to have any meaningful conversations with them or address any issues that may arise in a healthy manner. In conclusion, covert narcissism is a complex phenomenon that manifests in various weird habits. From seeking constant validation, playing the victim, gaslighting, to being overly sensitive to criticism, these individuals possess a unique set of traits that can be both intriguing and challenging to deal with. It's important to be aware of these habits so that we can recognize and protect ourselves from their manipulative tactics. Moreover, I could've gotten hurt from the impact of been cheated on. I'm glad that i got to know ASAP, through *BarryInvestigation@gmail. com* and I appreciate the content you put out for us .
Things like this why you need to know who you're marrying they care only for themselves. And you will never have a stable marriage being married to a narcissist.
Omg Dr Phil.....this is TRUTH!! Horrible twisted creatures! They will rob you of your heart and soul. RUN...do not walk!! Go no contact or go Grey rock . It's the only saving grace when dealing with a narcissist.
I've met to many of them. They also strive to be the center of attention in social circles and bail on you after a number of years of you thinking there your friend and at the last minute when you needed them the most they hurt you and then there gone or they cling to you for a bit to harass you. No contact is really the only way I got my life back. I also moved out of town.
@@neptunegrl3425 YeP, they always want to be the center of everything, they afraid that people will pass them, whether that's financially, or physical attractiveness, or even other things, idk why they so insecure with all those wealth and friends, it really bothers me such a people can be like that.... Just look at my aunt, she's angry and even telling bad things to my already dead father, while yes, my father are Rich and having many assets, but my aunt still hating and telling bad things over my father, eventho she's rich rn, and her sHOp making good amounts money? She's never feel grateful over her shop, her son which is my cousins back in the day died over her Violent act, Geez, My Aunt are scary and kind a has sadistic behaviour....
I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with BPD. Spent my whole life fighting BPD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
Oh, but I disagree with "no ability to reflect feelings." I have known at least 3 narcissists who were good actors when they wanted to be, and could (seemingly) reflect feelings if/when they wanted to, to try make themselves look like a good guy to the outside world. Skilled narcissists learn how and when to appear like great guys (or gals). They are dangerous, because that's how they draw victims in and/or cover up their treatment of their victims committed behind closed doors.
Worst thing you can do is calling them out. No one gets more enraged than a narcissist who’s been seen through. They hate when truth is spoken. It will usually just buy you more hate and weeks of the silent treatment. It never has the effects we want it to have.
You can NEVER reason with a narcissist, and they are HIGHLY skilled at gaslighting. Being raised by a father that is a textbook narcissist, the best advice I can give is limit your contact with that person, and never try to explain your situation with reasoning. Their questions and comments are designed in such a way that whatever response you give, they can either accept it, or turn it against you. I kinda have a relationship with my father these days, but I make it a point to NOT talk to him frequently. It seems that the more I talk to him, the more he wants to start prickly conversations. If I go a couple of months between phone calls, he seem to be glad that I called, and the sensitive conversations don't seem to come up as often. If you are in a situation where you can't get away from a narcissist, like the narcissist is your boss, sometimes the best thing to do is tell the person how great they are, let them know how special they are, and then go around the corner and throw up in the trash can.
I grew up with a mother narcissist.😢😢😢😢Didn't realize how much damage it caused me in self esteem, identity, confidence& in my relationships!Shows like this explained it all to me.thank you!
Me too....I lacked confidence because my own mother always always criticized me and put the guilt trip on me....she's getting worse with age, I try to keep my distance as much as I can now....she never asks me how I am or is interested in my life, my husband and boys....how sad is that... thankfully I have grown and realized what she's like ❤️
What it boils down to is a real Narcissist is always ready for a good fight and they must win at all cost. And it don't matter to them how many feeling they must hurt to get what they want.
OMG yes! I didn't know my sis before me was narcissistic til i started looking into it. As long as she was getting her way,everything was fine and dandy,but as soon as I put up boundaries...UGH. Her entitlement issues OMG. And what would she do after I set boundaries,she'd get mad,leave give me the silent treatment and then oh yeah she'd be right back doing the same thing I told her she wasn't allowed to do...for almost 7 yrs off and on. I finally had enough and I didn't want to have to tell her in person bcuz I knew she'd explode so I sent her a text stating that I was sorry but it was best if we kept our distance from each other,oh man she gaslit me twice in one text saying that there was something seriously wrong with your mind you need help and saying idk what I did for you to hate me so much..typical narc "forgetfulness" of course. Her ONE reply to me was always "I'M OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT I'M DOING" I agree except being old enough to know should have been to say "yeah ok it's your home and I'll respect your boundaries" but NOPE. She broke them each and every time she came back. I really do wish we could have a relationship but I decided for my own mental health to go NC. It was a hard decision,many sleepless nights before and after for sure,I'm in a better place now
Narcissism is a personality trait that is present in varying degrees in everyone. While self-love is healthy form of appreciating oneself and having a positive outlook to oneself, narcissism is having a hollow self-esteem to an extent that one is constantly looking for admiration from others. There is no harm in seeking attention and admiration from people. We are all social animals with a somewhat competitive streak which seeks possession of money, power and social status. Narcissism is considered a dark trait in the order of psychopathy and for a good reason. Narcissists (people with pathological narcissism who “if” diagnosed would be labelled as narcissistic personality disordered individuals) often exploit people for the pursuit of unwavering attention, admiration and affection. They lack real empathy. They cannot connect with people’s emotions effectively. They do not see people as human beings with feelings and separate identity. Narcissists cannot love. At least not like neurotypicals do. If they like someone, they will pursue that person by love-bombing. Once the chase phase is over, it all rapidly goes downhill. Then starts the devaluing process. They suddenly find only faults in you. You are not well-read enough, not sophisticated enough, not charming enough. Why? Because you have accepted them enough to love them unconditionally. And in a narcissist’s mind, they don’t deserve unconditional love. Anyone who loves them isn’t worth their time. This goes back to how they were treated by their parents. Loved but conditionally; when they scored good marks, when they learned to not cry about things. They were basically (unconsciously) trained to not attend to feelings. That is not to say that they don’t feel, they very much do but they are unable to process their own feelings. Do you feel this way? Do you feel hollow and blank when it comes to feelings towards another person? Do you sometimes get confused about your rapidly fluctuating feelings? These are hard questions. It is hard to understand, let aside accept such pathological hard-wired thought process. But there is a reason one must self-reflect as often as possible. We are unconsciously hurting people when we much rather won’t. Being a narcissist can be extremely lonely and tiresome. Imagine having to wear a mask of feigned perfection 24x7 while continually berating oneself about every possible imperfection and others’ successes. The answer will give you the answer to your sub-question. TO CATCH NARCISSIST RED HANDED HIRE Metaspyhub@gmail. com. THEY ARE SO SWIFT ACCURATE AND RELIABLE
I like what you say. God Gave us Survival Instincts to ensure the survival of the species..but we have to curtail those instincts for the Good of All. Pride..Lust..Greed..Anger and worry..are Good..unless Misused. 😊❤
Keep talking about these toxic individuals! You have an abundant platform for so many to be educated on this! These individuals, especially the the covert passive aggressive narcissist! They look “normal” but cause total emotional devastation!
They are the crazy making NARC!! What is crazy they seem normal… then all of sudden they start playing sick mind games on you. You question your reality in the relationship. Please, listen and get out. Blessings to you all 🙏🏼💕
Go to Dr. Ramani here on TH-cam folks. She's the Gold Star Expert in Narcissism and her expertise makes Phil look like a pre-schooler. You won't regret it.
Both of my parents are narcissists. My dad is gone now but my mom is still a narcissist at 80 years old she is worse than she has ever been. They get worse with age. Believe me!
💓Oh my goodness?!💓 Your word’s triggered a Bible Scripture: “Unless a sinner repents of their sin, when they’re older they’ll wax worse, and then God will hand them over to their own delusions.” 💔With compassion for you, and your Mother, 💜I’m praying for your Mother’s soul… In Jesus’s love…🕊 🙏🏻☦️🕊
I know. My mom is 84. I walked away. Don't wish her I'll but good riddance. She was a dangerous one. Choked us out as kids and attacked her grandbabies. I'm glad she's all alone.
Narcissism is a spectrum and can depend on many factors. It depends mainly on the level of supply. What they learn is conditional empathy or selective empathy, and they can turn on tears when they need to. They play the Hero and the Villian and fool everyone.
I just left my husband 6 months ago, he is a Narcissist, you are so correct, Tfs, I finally had enough after 20 years, I lost my self but I just had to get enough, leaving him was the best decision I had ever made, peace of mind , I am so happy now
I cut out a supposedly good friend she was never a good friend she tried to control me. This person is full of negativity and hate such a toxic person. I do feel better without her u feel a sense of peace and freedom. I feel happy for u Lisa good for u.🙂👍🏼👍🏼
My second husband was this way. I had never heard the word narcissist but I knew there was something very wrong with him. I finally left. That was eight years ago. Best thing and only thing to do with a narcissist.
Mine always has a “better” or “worse” thing , experience that you . Not one word about your situation just straight to why their experience is more important than yours
I lived with one for 10 years I literally lived with a demon I've gone no contact but he refuses to leave me alone The research I've done is mind blowing because everything I've read about narcissist is like reading a movie script about my life with him
I also did research on narcicisstic behavior and everything all the many articles said was the narcicisst I was with.....so I agree 100% with what you said
Dr. Phil...you are spot on! My narcissist sibling tried to destroy my bond with my brothers. Tried to poison my friends against me. Tried to turn my own beloved Mom against me! Pathological liar. Insanely jealous. Spiteful. Vengeful. In the end, I had to ditch her from my life. To save myself. 15 years ago. No going back! Be warned everyone....
I pray for all of us who are dealing this situation, may Lord give you strength and make you brave, independent, and give you all the love and affection that you are craving for , all the respect and good that you deserve ❤️ trust me HE is with us
Straight up nailed it. I get bullied and gaslight for calling out the NPD morons but now I realized they won’t change so I stopped and walk away. Don’t give them any power with your reaction. Narcissist love to see fear in people. Thank you Dr. Phil!
It's become an epidemic in society...if there's no consequences then they'll keep on doing what they do and no one holds them accountable. The best thing to do is run...run really fast in the opposite direction.
You are exactly right! We live in a Narcissistic society nowadays. Soooooooo many of these young millennials are Narcissistic little self-entitled self-centered individuals. I'm old enough to remember when society wasn't like the way it is today. Sad beyond belief. 😞
@@virtual240 Yea did that and I got nothing but suffering in return. Even Jesus ran away from people that demanding his attention...try reading a Bible...especially 2 Timothy 3
I would be surprised if a narcissist would even go to a therapist in the first place!!! Nothing wrong with me! It's everybody else who has the problems.also they don't want to look inside themselves for weaknesses& issues.😱
I was married to narcissist and I must say that they are very dangerous individuals to be around. I will avoid these kind of individuals at all times. It was a hard life lesson dealing with a person like that. Never again !
Everything in this video is exactly spot on. I have worked with these types of people over the years and work with several now. It is sickening when someone thinks they're the center of the universe.
I have someone in my life I’ve been trying to cut out. I couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong with him. Every single word out of Dr. Phil’s mouth described him. My jaw was on the floor listening to this. No Empathy whatsoever, turning the subject back on themselves, no filter, no care whatsoever of what other people think and brutally attacking when you call him out on his obnoxious behavior. SPOT ON!!! I have ignored calls, texts, blocked number- there no understanding that I’m not interested in having him in my life!!!! Thank you Dr. Phil… I know now what this person is and may know how to handle the situation better! If you come across someone like this RUN!!!! FAST!!!!
I Love my mom but, she has BPD…. & when I realized how she messed me up at 40…. Horrible epiphany….. Thank God for my Daddy ❤& I Love Him for loving her too!!! The difficult process was realizing my life was a lie!!!
How true about how they isolate you. Used to get absolutely tortured for talking to someone else. Had to account for every single minute. Always accusations.
Yep, my mom and my sister always being like this, is like they assesing me, looking for every informations of new people i've been met, it's weird, and annoying, they live in constant paranoia.... But well, i myself suffer somekind of past traumatic childhood, and i understand why mother and my sister being like that, they suffer the same, if you ever had ptsd and anxiety, you'll understand
@@kschmidt9482 as codependent i understand how it feels to abused and gaslit, we are not Empath eventually, i thought i was Narc too at first, but no, Narc will not having any mental illness like codependent suffer, some says codependent are Empaths, it might be, idk man, definitely i'm codependent with boundaries issues
@@kschmidt9482 pathological giving are def codependent traits, no boundaries, emotional enmeshed, some emotional incest happened.... i have suffer big stress and trauma living with my peers, sad, abuse, and violence was all my childhood stories, growing up depressed since junior school.... Yep, my anger blow up, but those are repressed emotions since childhood, i've raised not to express any anger, if i angry, they shut me up, so anxiety and stress def built deep for so long... Sorry for bad english, I can't articulate all experience in good sentence, and yet having memories issue with stress and depression
@@kschmidt9482 how to say it? Cognitive dissonance? When their actions doesn't match their promises? Lie? And it give us conflicting message in our brains, making stress and anxiety
And all the narcissists give a thumbs down. 😁 Thanks for this...I no longer will waste my words on a certain person anymore. You are absolutely right...you get nowhere with this type!
Yes l understand it's shocking what they do..l was only dating one he thought l had lost interest In him....the he started put disgusting hand written notes in my letter box and my neighbours omg then he rang long time friends ...my work colleagues he did a great job on me 15 years l had a major breakdown he left the area 2hrs away......Then a letter came he said he will always care about no matter what...l thought we made a lovely couple still don't get it .why why
"They don't read the room." Brilliant. That would explain how I became surrounded by Narcs in my life because all I did is read the room to the exclusion of myself.
If I only new then what I know now, I would never have spent one second with my narcissistic looser. I got along fine and happily without him and his insanity.
I wished I knew this about my son,before I kept falling for his reassurance how he would pay me back when he asked for money. Everything he said never happened! My other kids say take him to court,cause he owes me lots,lots,lots of money. Now I can not do anything for myself since I retired. I'm petrified of the outcome of this. Surley there is a better way to handle this. This is not the only thing he has taken advantage of his own mother! How could I not have seen this before it got out of hand???
It is so true when you say "don't bother it's not worth it"! Selfish and self-centered beings who are always on the attack and making themselves victims and others are to blame for everything! Thank you for sharing your experience and knowledge!
I was raised by a narcissist who clearly had no love for me as her daughter. Then a few years ago I got tangled up with a narcissist, thinking he was a great guy. He wasn’t. It took a brain tumor to realize what I was throwing my life away on. I had the brain tumor removed (thank you God) and also removed the narcissist from my life. I will never look back.
It’s so nice realizing that there’s an actual word for these toxic people, growing up I always knew my mother was toxic but I never knew there was an actual term. She’s about to turn 60 and has dentures now and STILL hasn’t changed one bit, I would say she’s gotten worse but she’s always been nasty so it’s hard to say. Going no contact was the BEST choice to make, they’re truly miserable people and they want you to be just as miserable as them if not even more miserable. Anyways I wish you an abundance of love ❤️ stay strong
Some narcissists have some of these behaviors. And they are GREAT in hiding them. Sometimes u don’t find out until u get involved with them. Then they got the nerve to not let u go when a break up occurs. And get ANGRY when you tell them when you are unhappy about something they did or said. Blame YOU for THEIR shortcomings or mistakes.
Covert narcs can pretend to care about the persons dog that got hit. They are getting good with their tactics. They know hey have to pretend now like you said mimic empathy….
Yes, you are absolutely right. Narcissists can fake empathy so that they will gain more narcissistic supply. They often don't do that to their spouse or kids but to those who they want to gain as a new source of narcissistic supply . They can never get enough new sources of attention.
Covert narc is very good at put up a fake empathy out there, I actually felt his fake to the outside people from early stage being together. Don’t get wrong, they actually hate all people, they want all people die if that is possible. The narc I had went from felt so beautiful for a trip we went together to “ it was not a good trip, because I was sick there”!! What kind of person will think their loved ones sick means that trip got ruined and is bad? I was not even really sick, I was just too tired and asked for sleep and didn’t go out for a walk with him. That is clear sign that this person has no heart, has no empathy, his inside is a demon not a heart from human.
Wow! This exactly corroborates what I’ve experienced with “ the monster” in my life. I used to think such a person only existed in movies. I wish I knew long ago that such “ monsters” really do live among us and can nearly or totally destroy us. I’m not exaggerating. People need to understand this personality disorder and do everything to not allow such an individual to ever get into a position of power- in any setting, personal or professional. Don’t wait to be a victim. It CAN happen to you.
Both my ex husband s were a narrsist . and I just realized that my sister is also a naturalist , she always wants to be the center of attention , and has absolutely zero emphany for anyone but herself. I stay my distance from these people. You hit it right on the nail DrPhil.
This is excellent. The only thing I was going to say but he went over it at the end was that with the example about the dog, many narcissist would say "Oh, that's too bad" or whatever because they would know intellectually that that is what they are supposed to say but they don't feel it. My sister is a raging and I mean raging narc. I have learned all this stuff through the school of hard knocks. Best thing is no contact. Another technique that I use when I have to deal with her is imagine her or your narc as a two year old and deal with them as such. I mean don't be condescending or anything but just firm and stand your ground. These people are really mean and crazy but they actually aren't strong. They are bullies and they are actually afraid of you. Just stand your ground, speak you truth in a strong firm and simple way. Stick to the facts. Ignore all their b.s., gaslighting, lying etc. Don't engage with them, just be firm and stand your ground. And then exit. Don't hang out with these people. If you have to have any contact make it minimal and businesslike and don't take it personally. It feels awful but it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. Don't worry about getting revenge, just move on with your own life, don't engage with them and to me and everyone out there dealing with this, I pray the we find good, kind people to share our lives with.
Remember the smirk That is gut wrenching. It really hurts. And puts/pulls you down You can actually feel yourself shrinking.... And it happens so slyly... No one else sees or feels it and can wonder why *you* went quiet or look hurt... Silent gaslighting..
Dr. Phil is cool because he tells people their problem is that, well, they just plain suck! (A shrink can't really do that.) But seriously, my therapist spelled it out quite well-narcissists/ sociopaths aren't mentally ill. They don't suffer-everyone around them does.
@@SamSolasdonSaol I know he's not an actual doctor-did you not read the OP? Having been around many narcissists and sociopaths, I can tell you that he's more or less correct.
@@TruppDriscoll Yes, I did read your OP, obviously, where you called him DR. Phil. No... it's just Phil. Doctor of nothing. "More or less" does not bode well for those who are in confusing and brutal relationships with Narcs. Again, props to your therapist. He's the one that went deep. Be well.
So true dr. Phil. You can’t confront these people and set them straight. I’ve learned with my father ( he’s a covert narcissist) that no matter what you say whether you’re expressing your feelings, concerns, or calling out their behavior they will NEVER understand or get it. It’s like talking to a wall. It’s a waste of time or breath and energy! These people never change! My dad plays victim all the time. Makes me feel guilty blames me and my mom till no end. He denies everything and it’s so annoying. I end up angry and yell and my dad stays calm. Thinks my mom and I are always angry people. He never thinks as to what causes us to be that way.
I remember my elder sister who is also a narcissist try to explain to me i had brain deficiency and that i should not believe my own memories, when i finally had the courage to tell her that i felt a bit bullied by her while growing up. I put it very mildly. In reality, she would break down my confidence at every step while making it look to everyone that i was the culprit of everything or that my intentions were dark. That was truly hell - to grow up with such distorted reality about myself and put out there towards others. I was never, not once, seen. When i developed anorexia, i got blamed for that too. Everyone hated down on me. She got what she wanted. I am so happy i got out. But lost all my family. It's worth it. Painful, the loss. But worth it. I am free. Sad but true. It was hell. And when i told my parents the truth about having been sexually molested by my older brother as a child, she tried to convince them i was lying for attention. My mum never saw through my sister and praised her for her "strength . I later learned she was a narcissist too, just a less aggressive one. What an extremely messed up bunch. So glad to be free. Never again. My life can begin now.
Please put out more of this info.--So spot on to what kind, honest people deal with always hoping the selfish people will mature and change continuing on the vicious roller coaster ride some find themselves on not knowing how to stop the insanity & havoc. Its maddening dealing with this type of extreme self centeredness. More awareness provided mainstream will at the least provide healthy escapes from miserable relationships and in some cases can literally save lifes.
Dr. Phil, I want to thank you for your selfless devotion to everyone's mental health and happiness. You have changed my life in ways you will never know. I want you to know you have changed the world and humanity. You are my life coach. Thank you so much, Gina from Louisiana.
My Mother is the very definition of a narc, I had to absolutely cut off all contact with her, and another thing that's so sad is that my Father always backs her up 100%. It's like she has him brainwashed or something. My sister died of brain cancer 5 months ago, she was diagnosed 1yr and a week from the time she passed away and for a year that I kept in contact and saw my sister, (I live in another state) it drove my Mother crazy that her dying daughter was getting so much love and attention. She would tell my sister that no one loved her except for my mother. I heard this come out of her mouth. She would argue with my sister as she lay dying in the bed. It was one of the most traumatic things I've ever been through. When I would tell my Mother to stop, believe me, it only made things worst. We were all in a lose/lose situation. I loved my sister so very much, but a part of me is happy that she is in heaven now and doesn't have to put up with my Mother anymore.
My mother turned my step father against me. Her lies caused him to scream in my face that I wasnt his child. Full of fury and finger in my face. I Will never forgive that
Sorry for your loss. My mother is a narcissist, too. Got my father make excuses for her, too, telling me how I should feel sorry for her, etc. Sometimes I talk to him and make him see the truth, but I'm often afraid he's on her side. He is brainwashed. He seems very emotional and empathetic. He's easy to manipulate. I wish I could have a normal relationship with him.
I was with a narcissist sociopath for years , abusive relationship ...and what doctor Phil says about empathetic he had no empathy at all. I am glad I got out of that hell
So glad you got out!!!!! It’s like being with someone with no soul. They’re lacking so much, it’s almost like their not human. It’s very hard to separate yourself because you are then stalked- they don’t like rejection.
it took me 9 years to realise that my partner is a narcissist. She fooled me good. I left her for good. Her teenage son even told me that his mother was a narcicsist, i had doubts but he was right. Your video helped me understand thank you.
For me it was psychopathy. He didn’t have normal feelings. He had feelings for himself only. He burned every bridge he ever crossed - void of any remorse or guilt. No gratitude to God or people. He spat on all the good people who were dumb enough he thought to be kind to him and the notion of a God other than himself. He was strangely lacking in commonly socially accepted etiquette and was uncomfortable in social situations. He hated me because I wore the sparkly mask and did my hair and make up and I was nice and everyone liked me better. Lol He told me I was uncool. Lol But when I went anywhere people liked me and wanted to talk and it made him mad so I enjoyed doing it sometimes 😂 because it’s very natural for me lol He just looks unfriendly because he really is unfriendly. He’s thinking about what he can get from you. He has no feelings not even for his children or grandchildren. The shared experience he brings to the conversation in a social situation, those in which normal people talk about their kids achievements or how work sucks right now lol, a normal conversation would be bragging about his latest con on a broken female. He seems oblivious to people’s reaction to his antisocial offensive behavior. But that’s all he could say he was up to. Lol Any friendliness by him is forced and you can see it all over his face because he’s angry that he has to do it so you will give him money or a place to stay. He despises kindness and will punish you for it. And he can’t even fake kindness. It’s beneath him. But his face lol grinding his teeth and clenching his teeth because he thinks he looks weak because for him kindness is a weakness.
This speaks volumes to me. I hope you'll do more videos on how to deal with narcissists. It's like a battle of wills 24/7. Not that you even need or want to win...but just trying to get them to understand anything at all. How does a person even have a relationship of any kind with a narcissist?
I lived with a narcissist. I was young but didn't know his problem had a 'name' I was thinking he had adhd but I realized over time that it's NPD. all the things you say in this video is so true. I think to really be able to know if someone has NPD you have to live with them because to a stranger they seem relatively 'normal'. my biggest advice is to never get close to them and I find they are 10 times worse when they are drunk
My dad is a classic Narcissistic person and I gave up on him throughout my life and for good 15 years ago. I called him out on the phone and in a long letter and it's like screaming at someone who is 100 percent DEAF hoping that they will HEAR YOU. Narcissistic people don't have empathy at ALL and they should NOT HAVE CHILDREN. When he told my mom that he was "special " and " unique" she should have LEFT HIM RIGHT THEN AND THERE. Your GUT INSTINCT IS NEVER WRONG.
My ex-wife . Thank God I was able to get away !! My life has tremendously changed from being homeless to now having a great life !!! Not everyone can break free from these people !! There should be special program s to help these victims of abuse
Spot on! The only way of avoiding the damage narcissists do is to avoid the narcissist. Calling the narcissist out doesn't work, but it sure as hell makes you feel better!
They may take advantage of someone who is already in a vulnerable position. I would also agree that when you call them out, they may retaliate, and horribly gaslight you !! 👍👍
I feel our law and need to be educated on this when it comes to domestic abuse. They are so very charming and so good at manipulating. The narcissist and the empathy😢
I had a narcissist mother, father and brother and they scapegoated me severly. I cut all ties with them and that was the best thing I have ever done. My now deceased father and brother tried to put their paws on my appartment, but luckily didn't succeed. I still have consequences like occasional panic attacks and agoraphobia, but am growing and improving and am proud of myself.
I grew up with a father who said “I don’t depend on anybody” I just do it myself. He is 89 yrs old, and is bitter about life in general. I was always the empathetic daughter- but he remains unchanged. He had no empathy when my husband died. And to this day, talks badly about him. I will continue to be distant because after all these years he remains unchanged, he knows what he is doing and continues to display characteristics of a narcissist. Thank for the incite, Dr Phil!
Some know there stuff like dr ramani. See TH-cam for her videos. I even warned my therapist of my husband’s ability to persuade others and she was adamant she would not be. I just wanted to introduce them so she could see what I was dealing with and in the middle of out one hour ordeal she ask me in front of him “Adria, don’t you love John?” 😳 In the meeting following she said “You know Adria, sometimes hormones can play a big part of your perception…”(white noise after that). Needless to say that was our last session. Gaslighting can happen from anyone, most unintentionally.
The hardest thing for me to get my head around is the fact that my daughter is a narcissist. She has completely & totally ripped my heart out not for the first time, but for the last time. She’s sucked me in too many times with the same outcome. It’s time to look after myself & my mental health. It’s so painful but I’m sticking to my guns this time. I
Same here. Step daughter. I was forced time and again to take her back. She destroyed so many of my relationships by lying about me. She is so clever that people believe her and get sucked in. No more. Cut her out completely. It is peacefull but waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's hell.
Dr. Phil, you forget they win the therapist over, they are usually paying for the therapist. Yes, they don’t have feelings and learn behavior patterns in therapy to manipulate further outside therapy
Barbara Schultz..... I once made the mistake of telling the narcicisst I was with how I caught him in something he was doing..... The very next day I noticed he did the same thing but used a completely different tactic to do it in ..... So yes they will try different tactics to try to throw you off when they find out you are on to them
@@kristieingram8835 i caught my ex with an online ad looking for another woman the day after i returned from a 300 mile trip to see him and he kept denying it till i said i saw your address on the ad and then he accuses me of why are you looking where i live? WTF???
@@libbynovotny9979 Mine was ( always ) after other women from day one of our so called relationship..... Then after many affairs had the Gaul to tell me I should forget what he did so we could move on......and could not understand WHY I would not let his lies go like they never happened..... He liked women that drank , used drugs , dumb as hell and not very attractive..... I was none of the above....so he never cared for me !! LMAO.....Yep , he was a true piece of work..... I hope you have escaped the demon known as a narcicisst
And they're never wrong and they never make mistakes
Fact!!!
And they always play the victim.
yep that's my spouse
Very true
💯 True
All true. But the narcissist learns to "pretend" empathy and the right things to say but their expression is not authentic.
So true! It's another way they manipulate people.
Exactly. Narcissists I have known have been intelligent enough to know what words to say, what actions to take, etc to mimic a wonderful person. Key word: mimic. Then once they hook a person in, their real self begins to show more and more (unless maybe they want something from that person. Then they can keep covering up).
Absolutely!!!! There is zero sincerity in what they’re saying and it’s obvious.
So true
yes--just like my now ex--she would say this every day---i love you to the moon and back---lies--all lies
“They don’t read the room”. So true. 🤦♀️
Ya this one really got me.
It’s amazing how much a narcissist forgets when confronted.
So true it's like they say what are you talkin about and trying to say you're crazy
So true but it's because their trying to appear as if their hands are clean but we all know their hands are dirty. Just like their soul!
It’s amazing how YOU are the one with all the issues and how they get so angry, whilst going on and on about all the “ wonderful “ things they do and have! 🙄
yes, forgets or changes history.
Ya, there's many things they selectively forget!
Telling a narcissist what you really feel and calling them out can be cathartic for you if you don't let them overwhelm or gaslight you, but it certainly won't cause them to change. The best way to deal with a narcissist in your life is to cut them out of it completely.
I had enough of my spouse and he is now my X spouse.
AMEN ON THE LEAVING THEM !!
Yes! I am looking for an attorney, it’s hard though I do not have the funds to get a real lawyer like Rebecca Zung. You are one hundred percent! Stay away from the narcissistic and if you wind up getting married to one, get out quickly. I’m glad you are now free from your X. Some day I’ll be free as well.
Any reaction from you gives them energy. They seem to feed off negativity and like tearing ppl down, making you the lesser person. They can suck the soul out of ppl.
@Irish girl 72 I’m so sorry that we have to go through this, however our heads up high, smiles galore, we are warriors. I to am looking to divorce I’m done. We can be our own enemies, we don’t need the bully. Good luck Lady Luck and the lord prevails.
Never challenge them. They retaliate. Do not point out their flaws. Be prepared for rage.
You also need to prepare for them playing their extremely arrogant queer people bullshit
A narcissist being "over dramatic" is called lying. They are incapable of speaking frankly. Their loud is lying. The narcissist doesn't listen to votes.
"Grandstanding" is not remotely the same definition as over dramatic. One is lying, the other is not.
The loud "grandstander" is right. He is quality. He will stand up for himself.
A narcissist doesn't grandstand, but is over reacting. A reactionary person. Opposite of a liberal.
One is luxury and one is quality.
Your wrong, I have seen them get a old fashion ass whipping and most actually change but not all.
Exactly!!!
Stand up to them and they back down almost every time , there cowards.
They will take your life if you let them. Run and don't look back.
they want to be right so bad there left arm falls off
My narc siblings killed my dad. No jail for them, because they manipulated the police. And since then they are trying to destroy me with terrible smear campaigns. I know, they would also kill me, if they could.
Yes, run... the sooner the better. The longer you stay the more enmeshed your lives get and the harder it is to leave.
@@amazonqueen5694 Yes, they always want to be right and always want to win. Everything has to go their way.
@@SN-bl6xm They can be dangerous. It's disgusting that there are naive therapists out there that say narcissists aren't dangerous. A lack of empathy, and feeling entitled doesn't make anyone immune to murder. If a therapist hasn't experienced narcissistic rage then they better well learn about it. Dr. Ramani has an excellent video that she put out today ( Oct.30) on Narcissism and Domestic Violence . I would encourage everyone to watch it and send it on to anyone that could benefit from it. Stay safe.
Their exhausting and will drain you.
Sure will
Didn't drain me. I actually beat the nar at his own game. They're not all smart.😊
Years of therapy The damage they cause is unforgivable. 18 years of yelling & screaming & abuse blaming me for everything or kids. Dont look back dont feel sorry for them. Run.
The decades of screaming... OMG..I don't know how I survived!
@@sparkleighann7282 how about 43 years worth but I didn't know
as much as I do now , found out 2 years ago , it was horrible and dealing with it .
I became my own investigator . Everything with him is extreme x Hundreds of thousands women.
I could not survive...
You do survive. I distansted myself and set tight boundaries. Plus years of therapy.
Trying to leave for many many years now.. but i'm such a idiot that always feels straight away sorry when he comes tearing up if not to me then our kids...
The kids are so done with him and our relationship. its been a messed up one for 18 years (kids are 11 and 14)
They basicly hate him now . I'm doing my very best to keep my distance. For some stupid reason i convinced myself if i love him enough i'll make him better , 'heal' of his horrible shit life that made him the way he is now..
But i guess i'm the one that needs healing now and stay away as far as possible before i lose my kids and myself 😢
They are also very charming. They win people over with this. And the part about how they ‘learn to mimic empathy’ is so true! Dangerous people.
Dangerous
Understatement of course , dangerous x infinity ♾️.
Oh they can be very charming, especially around people they don't seen often. It makes me question whether I'm going mad.
@@sarahstalberg8813 im scared lol
Lord, hearing dr Phil say “they know what they’re doing” is OH so validating.
Totally cause they reep their seed & act all nice.. than Boom 💥 Abuse .. Very validating. Stay one step ahead mentally.. it’s him .!!!!! Remember stay safe..
Lmao
💕💕💕
Yep, definitely dangerous people to share to live with
I really hoped they didn't know better. :(
Once you've had a relationship with a narcissist and learned what they are you can spot them easily. You start to realize they are everywhere. Even the covert narcissist becomes seen fairly quickly. You start to realize they gravitate towards jobs that wield power such as cops, Doctors, politicians. These fields are rampant with narcissists. These people are the biggest threat to humanity. Educating yourself will help you immensely. God bless you who reads this! 🙏
Thank you, dr Phil. I wish I had known this when I married a narcissist at 18, he was 25! Spent 25 years of him telling me I was crazy. I was crazy for marrying him.
You poor darling.. what a A###H::: … You deserve love and respect. Stay positive & Don’t let him ever tell you your Crazy.. He is Crazy & does not deserve you. God Bless ✨🙏☘️
@@Michelle-Williams-Melbournite i totally agree
anita farra im sure You can spot
one a mile away now i can
I know what you mean. I wish there was some program (maybe online) that young people and anyone dating could take that would teach them about signs of narcissists and toxic relationships, and also teach what a healthy relationship looks like and can be like. It would have to be something well advertised so that everyone knew it was out there. A relationship with a narcissist is not a two way street , it's a one way street it's always their way or no way.
@ Anita Farrar Feel your pain, I also wish I had the understanding of a Narcissist Sociopath now when I was 17, I married a 23 year old Narcissistic Sociopath, who continued to get worse by the day, for the 41 years I was with him, trying to convince myself that it will improved when..... it did improve it saved my life when I packed 2 small suitcases and flew to the other side of the country, started intense counseling for DV, and blocked him completely out of my life! You be proud of you and never forget you are Lovable and Capable 🌺💕💯
Narcissists should NEVER be underestimated. Phil is taking a kindergarten approach to a graduate level of potential harm. These people are dangerous and hard to spot. They're true wolves in sheep's clothing.
There is no such thing as a safe narcissist. Remember that. Like your life depends on it.
Yes. One must take an assertive approach when dealing with evil. Narcissists are total evil and a soft approach will not work.
The vulnerable or covert narcissist is the most dangerous individual on earth as they present as a sugar coated butter confection but when no one is watching they show they are really rotten meat coated in vomit and diarrhea.
Well said they truly r wolves in sheeps clothing, nothing but fraudulent liars! Pathological
Yes ma'am you are correct they are not to be taken lightly
When escaping a narcissist do it quietly as possible. They are very dangerous.
My personality inadvertently rubs narcissists up the wrong way. They can't control me & that freaks them out.
I HAVE this effect on My sons new wife😢 I catch her lying, she deflects and swears at me, then told my son to get me out of "her" house! So I travelled interstate to not see my son, she's evil!
They also not agree to anything you say. They're always negative about your opinion.
I married a narcissist. 12 years, 3 kids. I escaped but until the boys were 18 it was still hell. You can’t know, you can’t tell unless you’ve been thru it. I can spot one a mile away now. I appreciate my new life now with a loving husband more than I can say.
I was with mine for 22 years and got out. Took almost a year to get away totally. Thankfully we had no children but we owned property together and the sale took several months and he felt he hadthe right to be in my life until it was sold. Once our divorce was final he called my office a lot and I refused to talk to him and left multiple angry messages. I finally got so fed up all calls went to voice mail (no caller ID then) and I screened. As soon as I heard his voice I deleted the message.
God Blessed You With A New Loving Husband 🙏
Just don't waste time with a malignant narcissist, get free, and end up with a covert narcissist. 🤦
@@deannarounds3295😊
Wish we could talk. I can’t tell if I am living with one or if I am overreacting or overly sensitive. I am so glad you got out and are living a happy life now! It’s what we all deserve!
Lawyers and Judges NEED to be educated on these monsters!! There is A LOT of injustice out there which can be prevented if the courts learn and understand the signs of narcissism!
unless u truly know the individual its almost impossible to tell the difference between a narc, and a a hole. the system does not, or will it ever care.
A lot of Lawyers and Judges are narcissist themselves!!
This is SO important. However like the other comment stated. It’s highly unlikely. The system is so broken and they don’t actually care even though it’s literally their job to care and make sure the children are safe and in the best situation they can be. Rarely ever plays out as such in real life. The judge only judges on what he sees in the court for the brief moments your in front of him. If you’re in court for custody in the first place means there is one parent that is unruly, illogical and unwilling to put the needs of the children first since 2 NORMAL parents can almost always work it out in mediation. The judges NEED to effing understand that and they just don’t and countless childrens lives have been ruined bc of it.
@@michellematteson7267 the judges one goal is to appease, and reward the mother for destroying the family. there is a false facade of "the children crap", but in reality he could care less, proving it by actions.
Some of them are lawyers and judges….
The worst thing for a narcissist is for them to realize you see them exactly for who they are. If you have a narcissist in your life don’t expose them until you’ve built up a barrier between them and yourself.
What do you do in a situation where the narcissistic is your own father?
@@chrisomoding9890 make it so if they retaliate it won’t hurt you. If you not at that point yet you have to keep playing a role
You are so right! I learned this the hard way. lol.
@@chrisomoding9890 hi. Depends on how old you are, if you live at home. If you are on your own it’s easier to control. Do not accept money from a narc parent. It gives them control. Grey rock. Talk to them with “small talk” only. No details about your career, partner, etc. Both my parents were narcs. 😊 I left the state they lived in as soon as I could.
@@turnbacktime65 I
Sorry to here that. Yeah you have to move away from them and limit how they can hurt you before you allow them to realize you are gone
“The narcissist learns to mimic empathy.” Wow. That rings profoundly.
They mimic empathy when they want supply😂😂
If you're an empathic person you'll possibly attract them. I've had two in my life. I've gone no contact with the last one but now he's my stalker! They can't stand loss of control. Ugh!
YES YES YES! YOU ARE CORRECT!
I’m in the same situation. I’m kind & I will not tolerate His narcissistic behaviour anymore. Sorry your feeling this also.
You can’t win with Manipulating & controlling Behaviour. It’s awful. Yet tonight I’m happier as I’m 👻 Ghosting him. … which really works. It’s hard though cause we share Two sons.. I want to be put on a pedestal like I deserve.. he ( the Bully) puts himself on a pedestal and I’m stomped on. Unfortunately for him I see the big picture.. I’m done ✅ Divorced & Am my Queen 👑 on the Chess board of life with a Idiot…stay Safe and be you Missy ☮️☯️💜
May narcissist family members are stalking me. I know bad things they did, what would get them in to prison. So they are really trying to have full control over me.
My ex husband
It's even worse when you always attract them, not only in dating, but at work too.
Well, I must say, the world of narcissism is a fascinating one. While many people are aware of overt narcissism, where individuals display grandiose behavior and seek constant attention, covert narcissism is a whole different ballgame. Covert narcissists are masters at hiding their true selves and manipulating those around them. And yes, they do have some rather peculiar habits that set them apart from the rest of us. One weird habit of covert narcissists is their constant need for validation. Unlike overt narcissists who seek validation through external means, covert narcissists have a more sneaky approach. They often fish for compliments or sympathy by subtly dropping hints or making self-deprecating comments. They feed off the reassurance and affirmation they receive from others, and this habit can become quite exhausting for those who have to constantly boost their fragile egos. Another strange habit of covert narcissists is their tendency to play the victim. They are skilled at playing the sympathy card and making others feel sorry for them. They will twist situations to make themselves appear as innocent victims, even when they are the ones who caused the problem in the first place. This habit allows them to manipulate others into feeling guilty or responsible for their actions, ultimately gaining control over their emotions and actions. Covert narcissists also have a knack for gaslighting, which is a rather disturbing habit. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the narcissist distorts reality or denies certain events to make their victim doubt their own perception and sanity. They will subtly twist facts, change narratives, or even outright lie to make others question their own reality. It's an insidious habit that can leave victims feeling confused, doubting themselves, and trapped in an emotionally abusive cycle. Lastly, covert narcissists have a peculiar habit of being overly sensitive to criticism. They simply cannot handle any form of negative feedback or constructive criticism, often reacting with extreme defensiveness or passive-aggressive behavior. They have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe that they are above reproach. This habit can make it incredibly challenging to have any meaningful conversations with them or address any issues that may arise in a healthy manner. In conclusion, covert narcissism is a complex phenomenon that manifests in various weird habits. From seeking constant validation, playing the victim, gaslighting, to being overly sensitive to criticism, these individuals possess a unique set of traits that can be both intriguing and challenging to deal with. It's important to be aware of these habits so that we can recognize and protect ourselves from their manipulative tactics. Moreover, I could've gotten hurt from the impact of been cheated on. I'm glad that i got to know ASAP, through *BarryInvestigation@gmail. com* and I appreciate the content you put out for us .
Including children getting attention theyre jealous of kids ! Shocking isnt it ?
They’re jealous of their own shadow it’s actually SICK🤮.
Yip it’s sickening. My mother in law too a tee. We went no contact years ago.
My son was disabled and the narcicisst ex tried every way to turn me against my son but a mother's love for her children can NEVER BE BROKEN......
Yes because they want all the attention they are very sick people
Things like this why you need to know who you're marrying they care only for themselves. And you will never have a stable marriage being married to a narcissist.
Omg Dr Phil.....this is TRUTH!! Horrible twisted creatures! They will rob you of your heart and soul. RUN...do not walk!! Go no contact or go Grey rock . It's the only saving grace when dealing with a narcissist.
Not if you have kids together … it never ends.
I've met to many of them. They also strive to be the center of attention in social circles and bail on you after a number of years of you thinking there your friend and at the last minute when you needed them the most they hurt you and then there gone or they cling to you for a bit to harass you.
No contact is really the only way I got my life back. I also moved out of town.
@@neptunegrl3425 You nailed it! 👏 That's what they do and that's who they are! VERY SICK CREATURES.
@@neptunegrl3425 good for you to stand up for yourself and move on that's the only way to be happy
@@neptunegrl3425 YeP, they always want to be the center of everything, they afraid that people will pass them, whether that's financially, or physical attractiveness, or even other things, idk why they so insecure with all those wealth and friends, it really bothers me such a people can be like that....
Just look at my aunt, she's angry and even telling bad things to my already dead father, while yes, my father are Rich and having many assets, but my aunt still hating and telling bad things over my father, eventho she's rich rn, and her sHOp making good amounts money?
She's never feel grateful over her shop, her son which is my cousins back in the day died over her Violent act, Geez, My Aunt are scary and kind a has sadistic behaviour....
I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with BPD. Spent my whole life fighting BPD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
YES very sure of mycologist Predroavaro. This treatment worked for me. Helped me got rid of my anxiety and BPD.
"no ability to reflect feelings" - best description and example I've ever heard of NPD
Oh, but I disagree with "no ability to reflect feelings." I have known at least 3 narcissists who were good actors when they wanted to be, and could (seemingly) reflect feelings if/when they wanted to, to try make themselves look like a good guy to the outside world. Skilled narcissists learn how and when to appear like great guys (or gals). They are dangerous, because that's how they draw victims in and/or cover up their treatment of their victims committed behind closed doors.
Things are very black and white. Back in the day the narcissist was dubbed a con artist. 🚂
Yes, no ability to self reflect therefore they miss opportunities- they can’t change.
Worst thing you can do is calling them out. No one gets more enraged than a narcissist who’s been seen through. They hate when truth is spoken. It will usually just buy you more hate and weeks of the silent treatment. It never has the effects we want it to have.
💯💯My daughter in laws son is with one. My god she is completely nuts!!!!
@@jennifermitchell3070 I pray for his safety and peace.
Yeah, remember the Dirty John blog? Whew!
@@sharonthompson672 no, but I can imagine 😣
To a tee!!
You can NEVER reason with a narcissist, and they are HIGHLY skilled at gaslighting. Being raised by a father that is a textbook narcissist, the best advice I can give is limit your contact with that person, and never try to explain your situation with reasoning. Their questions and comments are designed in such a way that whatever response you give, they can either accept it, or turn it against you.
I kinda have a relationship with my father these days, but I make it a point to NOT talk to him frequently. It seems that the more I talk to him, the more he wants to start prickly conversations. If I go a couple of months between phone calls, he seem to be glad that I called, and the sensitive conversations don't seem to come up as often.
If you are in a situation where you can't get away from a narcissist, like the narcissist is your boss, sometimes the best thing to do is tell the person how great they are, let them know how special they are, and then go around the corner and throw up in the trash can.
THIS!
I would rather be fired or quit. Can't kiss azz to save my job.
I grew up with a mother narcissist.😢😢😢😢Didn't realize how much damage it caused me in self esteem, identity, confidence& in my relationships!Shows like this explained it all to me.thank you!
Me too....I lacked confidence because my own mother always always criticized me and put the guilt trip on me....she's getting worse with age, I try to keep my distance as much as I can now....she never asks me how I am or is interested in my life, my husband and boys....how sad is that... thankfully I have grown and realized what she's like ❤️
-living with one is pure --#evil-
Same here. I was looking at old pictures....whew the hate in her face, the body language. Pictures do tell a story.
Same here. I love her and Christ loves us both but it's going to take God to improve things.
Same here😢
What it boils down to is a real Narcissist is always ready for a good fight and they must win at all cost. And it don't matter to them how many feeling they must hurt to get what they want.
OMG yes! I didn't know my sis before me was narcissistic til i started looking into it. As long as she was getting her way,everything was fine and dandy,but as soon as I put up boundaries...UGH. Her entitlement issues OMG. And what would she do after I set boundaries,she'd get mad,leave give me the silent treatment and then oh yeah she'd be right back doing the same thing I told her she wasn't allowed to do...for almost 7 yrs off and on. I finally had enough and I didn't want to have to tell her in person bcuz I knew she'd explode so I sent her a text stating that I was sorry but it was best if we kept our distance from each other,oh man she gaslit me twice in one text saying that there was something seriously wrong with your mind you need help and saying idk what I did for you to hate me so much..typical narc "forgetfulness" of course. Her ONE reply to me was always "I'M OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT I'M DOING" I agree except being old enough to know should have been to say "yeah ok it's your home and I'll respect your boundaries" but NOPE. She broke them each and every time she came back. I really do wish we could have a relationship but I decided for my own mental health to go NC. It was a hard decision,many sleepless nights before and after for sure,I'm in a better place now
Exactly!!!!
bingo!
Narcissism is a personality trait that is present in varying degrees in everyone. While self-love is healthy form of appreciating oneself and having a positive outlook to oneself, narcissism is having a hollow self-esteem to an extent that one is constantly looking for admiration from others. There is no harm in seeking attention and admiration from people. We are all social animals with a somewhat competitive streak which seeks possession of money, power and social status. Narcissism is considered a dark trait in the order of psychopathy and for a good reason. Narcissists (people with pathological narcissism who “if” diagnosed would be labelled as narcissistic personality disordered individuals) often exploit people for the pursuit of unwavering attention, admiration and affection. They lack real empathy. They cannot connect with people’s emotions effectively. They do not see people as human beings with feelings and separate identity. Narcissists cannot love. At least not like neurotypicals do. If they like someone, they will pursue that person by love-bombing. Once the chase phase is over, it all rapidly goes downhill. Then starts the devaluing process. They suddenly find only faults in you. You are not well-read enough, not sophisticated enough, not charming enough. Why? Because you have accepted them enough to love them unconditionally. And in a narcissist’s mind, they don’t deserve unconditional love. Anyone who loves them isn’t worth their time. This goes back to how they were treated by their parents. Loved but conditionally; when they scored good marks, when they learned to not cry about things. They were basically (unconsciously) trained to not attend to feelings. That is not to say that they don’t feel, they very much do but they are unable to process their own feelings. Do you feel this way? Do you feel hollow and blank when it comes to feelings towards another person? Do you sometimes get confused about your rapidly fluctuating feelings? These are hard questions. It is hard to understand, let aside accept such pathological hard-wired thought process. But there is a reason one must self-reflect as often as possible. We are unconsciously hurting people when we much rather won’t. Being a narcissist can be extremely lonely and tiresome. Imagine having to wear a mask of feigned perfection 24x7 while continually berating oneself about every possible imperfection and others’ successes. The answer will give you the answer to your sub-question. TO CATCH NARCISSIST RED HANDED HIRE Metaspyhub@gmail. com. THEY ARE SO SWIFT ACCURATE AND RELIABLE
A normal person is not narcissistic!
I like what you say. God Gave us Survival Instincts to ensure the survival of the species..but we have to curtail those instincts for the Good of All. Pride..Lust..Greed..Anger and worry..are Good..unless Misused. 😊❤
When I saw the length of your post, I wondered if you might be a narcissist. You even have an ad at the bottom. Wtf?
Keep talking about these toxic individuals! You have an abundant platform for so many to be educated on this! These individuals, especially the the covert passive aggressive narcissist! They look “normal” but cause total emotional devastation!
They are the crazy making NARC!! What is crazy they seem normal… then all of sudden they start playing sick mind games on you. You question your reality in the relationship. Please, listen and get out. Blessings to you all 🙏🏼💕
@@lumity238 will be praying for you God does move in mysterious ways
Excellent........................thank you Dawn
Thank you!!!! This definitely needs to be talked about more!!!!
Go to Dr. Ramani here on TH-cam folks. She's the Gold Star Expert in Narcissism and her expertise makes Phil look like a pre-schooler. You won't regret it.
Both of my parents are narcissists. My dad is gone now but my mom is still a narcissist at 80 years old she is worse than she has ever been. They get worse with age. Believe me!
You should listen to Kris Reece. She talks a lot about this subject.
💓Oh my goodness?!💓
Your word’s triggered a Bible Scripture:
“Unless a sinner repents of their sin, when they’re older they’ll wax worse, and then God will hand them over to their own delusions.”
💔With compassion for you, and your Mother,
💜I’m praying for your Mother’s soul…
In Jesus’s love…🕊
🙏🏻☦️🕊
I know. My mom is 84. I walked away. Don't wish her I'll but good riddance. She was a dangerous one. Choked us out as kids and attacked her grandbabies. I'm glad she's all alone.
Omg lol
They do get worse with age.
Narcissism is a spectrum and can depend on many factors. It depends mainly on the level of supply. What they learn is conditional empathy or selective empathy, and they can turn on tears when they need to. They play the Hero and the Villian and fool everyone.
Finally Dr.Phil is jumping on this narcissist topic...it's important people know about these monsters and that they are real...
I just left my husband 6 months ago, he is a Narcissist, you are so correct, Tfs, I finally had enough after 20 years, I lost my self but I just had to get enough, leaving him was the best decision I had ever made, peace of mind , I am so happy now
Took me 32 years to reach my limit. Good for you !! Remarried a wonderful man now.
@@kayeb7809 I am proud for you, I am 62 and I got a tiny house and my chihuahuas and I am so thankful and grateful for my new beginning, ♥
💐
@Mammy Potato Thank you❤😊
I cut out a supposedly good friend she was never a good friend she tried to control me. This person is full of negativity and hate such a toxic person. I do feel better without her u feel a sense of peace and freedom. I feel happy for u Lisa good for u.🙂👍🏼👍🏼
My second husband was this way. I had never heard the word narcissist but I knew there was something very wrong with him. I finally left. That was eight years ago. Best thing and only thing to do with a narcissist.
Mine always has a “better” or “worse” thing , experience that you . Not one word about your situation just straight to why their experience is more important than yours
Yes it's always about them and most of the time they're just Plum stupid
@@rhondadurbyn6363 “Crazy like a fox.”
YES!!!!!
You are sooooo right 😤😤
omg! yes!!.. every freakin time!! every time i hurt myself or even get ill. she suddenly gets it worse !!!
I lived with one for 10 years
I literally lived with a demon
I've gone no contact but he refuses to leave me alone
The research I've done is mind blowing because everything I've read about narcissist is like reading a movie script about my life with him
Been there too. Stay strong 🙏🏻
I also did research on narcicisstic behavior and everything all the many articles said was the narcicisst I was with.....so I agree 100% with what you said
Exactly 💯💔😢 so true mine to it hurts so badly 🙏
Dr. Phil...you are spot on! My narcissist sibling tried to destroy my bond with my brothers. Tried to poison my friends against me. Tried to turn my own beloved Mom against me! Pathological liar. Insanely jealous. Spiteful. Vengeful. In the end, I had to ditch her from my life. To save myself. 15 years ago. No going back! Be warned everyone....
Such a horrible to go through. I’m so sorry you went through this hell. 😖
I pray for all of us who are dealing this situation, may Lord give you strength and make you brave, independent, and give you all the love and affection that you are craving for , all the respect and good that you deserve ❤️ trust me HE is with us
Straight up nailed it. I get bullied and gaslight for calling out the NPD morons but now I realized they won’t change so I stopped and walk away. Don’t give them any power with your reaction. Narcissist love to see fear in people. Thank you Dr. Phil!
It's become an epidemic in society...if there's no consequences then they'll keep on doing what they do and no one holds them accountable. The best thing to do is run...run really fast in the opposite direction.
Yep. 2 Timothy 3 👌
You are exactly right!
We live in a Narcissistic society nowadays.
Soooooooo many of these young millennials are Narcissistic little self-entitled self-centered individuals.
I'm old enough to remember when society wasn't like the way it is today.
Sad beyond belief. 😞
@@jsf8145 Bingo!
No, love your neighbor as yourself not treat them like outcasts.
@@virtual240 Yea did that and I got nothing but suffering in return. Even Jesus ran away from people that demanding his attention...try reading a Bible...especially 2 Timothy 3
They put themselves first & foremost & above everybody else.
I would be surprised if a narcissist would even go to a therapist in the first place!!! Nothing wrong with me! It's everybody else who has the problems.also they don't want to look inside themselves for weaknesses& issues.😱
They go to learn how to act fake empathy
I was married to narcissist and I must say that they are very dangerous individuals to be around. I will avoid these kind of individuals at all times. It was a hard life lesson dealing with a person like that. Never again !
Everything in this video is exactly spot on. I have worked with these types of people over the years and work with several now. It is sickening when someone thinks they're the center of the universe.
I have someone in my life I’ve been trying to cut out. I couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong with him. Every single word out of Dr. Phil’s mouth described him. My jaw was on the floor listening to this. No Empathy whatsoever, turning the subject back on themselves, no filter, no care whatsoever of what other people think and brutally attacking when you call him out on his obnoxious behavior. SPOT ON!!! I have ignored calls, texts, blocked number- there no understanding that I’m not interested in having him in my life!!!! Thank you Dr. Phil… I know now what this person is and may know how to handle the situation better! If you come across someone like this RUN!!!! FAST!!!!
I totally agree u cut them out your life and run!
One of the smartest men I've ever seen. God has blessed Dr. Phil.
T C,You got a lovely smile 😊
I Love my mom but, she has BPD…. & when I realized how she messed me up at 40…. Horrible epiphany…..
Thank God for my Daddy ❤& I Love Him for loving her too!!!
The difficult process was realizing my life was a lie!!!
How true about how they isolate you. Used to get absolutely tortured for talking to someone else. Had to account for every single minute. Always accusations.
Yep, my mom and my sister always being like this, is like they assesing me, looking for every informations of new people i've been met, it's weird, and annoying, they live in constant paranoia....
But well, i myself suffer somekind of past traumatic childhood, and i understand why mother and my sister being like that, they suffer the same, if you ever had ptsd and anxiety, you'll understand
Unfortunately I know that very well, too.
@@kschmidt9482 as codependent i understand how it feels to abused and gaslit, we are not Empath eventually, i thought i was Narc too at first, but no, Narc will not having any mental illness like codependent suffer, some says codependent are Empaths, it might be, idk man, definitely i'm codependent with boundaries issues
@@kschmidt9482 pathological giving are def codependent traits, no boundaries, emotional enmeshed, some emotional incest happened....
i have suffer big stress and trauma living with my peers, sad, abuse, and violence was all my childhood stories, growing up depressed since junior school....
Yep, my anger blow up, but those are repressed emotions since childhood, i've raised not to express any anger, if i angry, they shut me up, so anxiety and stress def built deep for so long...
Sorry for bad english, I can't articulate all experience in good sentence, and yet having memories issue with stress and depression
@@kschmidt9482 how to say it? Cognitive dissonance? When their actions doesn't match their promises? Lie?
And it give us conflicting message in our brains, making stress and anxiety
My ex husband is a Narcissist….it’s so Difficult…I’m done ✅ with the Gas Lighting..
Thanks Dr Phill for shedding light
He is so right about narcissist mimicking empathy when they really don’t empathize at all
And all the narcissists give a thumbs down. 😁 Thanks for this...I no longer will waste my words on a certain person anymore. You are absolutely right...you get nowhere with this type!
Or the people who don't like Dr. Phil since he's so narcissistic toward guests
omg I have been dealing with this for 20 years... my ex narcissist cop husband... a monster.
48 years of it and have learned to mostly walk away.
That is true it makes them worse, but some people can still see through the mask not a joke
I'm still dealing with it but I've figured him out already
I’m sorry u had too deal with that. I have some friends that are as well
@@MelissaMartinez-dp9wl Me too!
I'm just out...i gave up 25 years...im done! im sick of all the lies! Im so heart broken😢
Yes l understand it's shocking what they do..l was only dating one he thought l had lost interest In him....the he started put disgusting hand written notes in my letter box and my neighbours omg then he rang long time friends ...my work colleagues he did a great job on me 15 years l had a major breakdown he left the area 2hrs away......Then a letter came he said he will always care about no matter what...l thought we made a lovely couple still don't get it .why why
Congratulations stay out and never look back.
"They don't read the room." Brilliant. That would explain how I became surrounded by Narcs in my life because all I did is read the room to the exclusion of myself.
Never heard that one before. Read the room. I like it. Just like a DJ needs to read the crowd for each gig.
If I only new then what I know now, I would never have spent one second with my narcissistic looser. I got along fine and happily without him and his insanity.
I wished I knew this about my son,before I kept falling for his reassurance how he would pay me back when he asked for money. Everything he said never happened! My other kids say take him to court,cause he owes me lots,lots,lots of money. Now I can not do anything for myself since I retired. I'm petrified of the outcome of this. Surley there is a better way to handle this. This is not the only thing he has taken advantage of his own mother! How could I not have seen this before it got out of hand???
It is so true when you say "don't bother it's not worth it"!
Selfish and self-centered beings who are always on the attack and making themselves victims and others are to blame for everything!
Thank you for sharing your experience and knowledge!
I was raised by a narcissist who clearly had no love for me as her daughter. Then a few years ago I got tangled up with a narcissist, thinking he was a great guy. He wasn’t. It took a brain tumor to realize what I was throwing my life away on. I had the brain tumor removed (thank you God) and also removed the narcissist from my life. I will never look back.
They do mimic tho when it comes to how they believe hey should act that would show empathy. They mimic well
Yes and so glad this info is getting out
Of course dear, they are master manipulators. The ppl who usually see the real them are their kids and everyone else ‘close’ to them.
Dedicated actors!
They learn responses from others then they mimic those responses, it's all part of the ruse they are putting on.
Yesssssss I picked up on it as well.. mimicking is a way to make you look like a fool
I have been struggling with my mum for almost 40 years.
This one word has totally changed MY view toward her.
THIS is exactly what she is.
Same
@@makeyourselfathome6826 sorry to hear that 🤕
It’s so nice realizing that there’s an actual word for these toxic people, growing up I always knew my mother was toxic but I never knew there was an actual term. She’s about to turn 60 and has dentures now and STILL hasn’t changed one bit, I would say she’s gotten worse but she’s always been nasty so it’s hard to say. Going no contact was the BEST choice to make, they’re truly miserable people and they want you to be just as miserable as them if not even more miserable. Anyways I wish you an abundance of love ❤️ stay strong
Some narcissists have some of these behaviors. And they are GREAT in hiding them. Sometimes u don’t find out until u get involved with them. Then they got the nerve to not let u go when a break up occurs. And get ANGRY when you tell them when you are unhappy about something they did or said. Blame YOU for THEIR shortcomings or mistakes.
Covert narcs can pretend to care about the persons dog that got hit. They are getting good with their tactics. They know hey have to pretend now like you said mimic empathy….
Yes, you are absolutely right. Narcissists can fake empathy so that they will gain more narcissistic supply. They often don't do that to their spouse or kids but to those who they want to gain as a new source of narcissistic supply . They can never get enough new sources of attention.
Covert narc is very good at put up a fake empathy out there, I actually felt his fake to the outside people from early stage being together. Don’t get wrong, they actually hate all people, they want all people die if that is possible. The narc I had went from felt so beautiful for a trip we went together to “ it was not a good trip, because I was sick there”!! What kind of person will think their loved ones sick means that trip got ruined and is bad? I was not even really sick, I was just too tired and asked for sleep and didn’t go out for a walk with him. That is clear sign that this person has no heart, has no empathy, his inside is a demon not a heart from human.
Wow! This exactly corroborates what I’ve experienced with “ the monster” in my life. I used to think such a person only existed in movies. I wish I knew long ago that such “ monsters” really do live among us and can nearly or totally destroy us. I’m not exaggerating. People need to understand this personality disorder and do everything to not allow such an individual to ever get into a position of power- in any setting, personal or professional. Don’t wait to be a victim. It CAN happen to you.
You are so very right.....yes , they are monsters
The turn around with a Narc is so real.. the shames and blames are just so consuming and hurtful.
Both my ex husband s were a narrsist . and I just realized that my sister is also a naturalist , she always wants to be the center of attention , and has absolutely zero emphany for anyone but herself. I stay my distance from these people. You hit it right on the nail DrPhil.
This is excellent. The only thing I was going to say but he went over it at the end was that with the example about the dog, many narcissist would say "Oh, that's too bad" or whatever because they would know intellectually that that is what they are supposed to say but they don't feel it. My sister is a raging and I mean raging narc. I have learned all this stuff through the school of hard knocks. Best thing is no contact. Another technique that I use when I have to deal with her is imagine her or your narc as a two year old and deal with them as such. I mean don't be condescending or anything but just firm and stand your ground. These people are really mean and crazy but they actually aren't strong. They are bullies and they are actually afraid of you. Just stand your ground, speak you truth in a strong firm and simple way. Stick to the facts. Ignore all their b.s., gaslighting, lying etc. Don't engage with them, just be firm and stand your ground. And then exit. Don't hang out with these people. If you have to have any contact make it minimal and businesslike and don't take it personally. It feels awful but it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. Don't worry about getting revenge, just move on with your own life, don't engage with them and to me and everyone out there dealing with this, I pray the we find good, kind people to share our lives with.
Remember the smirk
That is gut wrenching. It really hurts. And puts/pulls you down You can actually feel yourself shrinking....
And it happens so slyly... No one else sees or feels it and can wonder why *you* went quiet or look hurt...
Silent gaslighting..
Dr. Phil is cool because he tells people their problem is that, well, they just plain suck! (A shrink can't really do that.)
But seriously, my therapist spelled it out quite well-narcissists/ sociopaths aren't mentally ill. They don't suffer-everyone around them does.
My mother used to say “misery loves company”, little did I know that it was a request.
Your therapist is way smarter than (not a Dr.) Phil. His take here is flippant and dangerous.
@@SamSolasdonSaol I know he's not an actual doctor-did you not read the OP?
Having been around many narcissists and sociopaths, I can tell you that he's more or less correct.
@@TruppDriscoll Yes, I did read your OP, obviously, where you called him DR. Phil. No... it's just Phil. Doctor of nothing.
"More or less" does not bode well for those who are in confusing and brutal relationships with Narcs. Again, props to your therapist. He's the one that went deep. Be well.
@@SamSolasdonSaol Exactly, hes no doctor and has no license, just Oprah's money maker.
Just experiencing this recently. Its so manipulative but boundaries and calling them out leads to outrage. No choice but to walk away.
Spot on . I know first hand. If you can get away , it's your only hope!! Run!
So true dr. Phil. You can’t confront these people and set them straight. I’ve learned with my father ( he’s a covert narcissist) that no matter what you say whether you’re expressing your feelings, concerns, or calling out their behavior they will NEVER understand or get it. It’s like talking to a wall. It’s a waste of time or breath and energy! These people never change! My dad plays victim all the time. Makes me feel guilty blames me and my mom till no end. He denies everything and it’s so annoying. I end up angry and yell and my dad stays calm. Thinks my mom and I are always angry people. He never thinks as to what causes us to be that way.
I remember my elder sister who is also a narcissist try to explain to me i had brain deficiency and that i should not believe my own memories, when i finally had the courage to tell her that i felt a bit bullied by her while growing up. I put it very mildly. In reality, she would break down my confidence at every step while making it look to everyone that i was the culprit of everything or that my intentions were dark. That was truly hell - to grow up with such distorted reality about myself and put out there towards others. I was never, not once, seen. When i developed anorexia, i got blamed for that too. Everyone hated down on me. She got what she wanted. I am so happy i got out. But lost all my family. It's worth it. Painful, the loss. But worth it. I am free. Sad but true. It was hell. And when i told my parents the truth about having been sexually molested by my older brother as a child, she tried to convince them i was lying for attention. My mum never saw through my sister and praised her for her "strength . I later learned she was a narcissist too, just a less aggressive one. What an extremely messed up bunch. So glad to be free. Never again. My life can begin now.
Absolutely true! I’m dealing with two Narcissists right now. Everything revolves around them. And as always, no empathy.
Please put out more of this info.--So spot on to what kind, honest people deal with always hoping the selfish people will mature and change continuing on the vicious roller coaster ride some find themselves on not knowing how to stop the insanity & havoc. Its maddening dealing with this type of extreme self centeredness. More awareness provided mainstream will at the least provide healthy escapes from miserable relationships and in some cases can literally save lifes.
So true
Yes I agree. Put more of this info out there. My heart still hurts from my narcissist sister. She broke me.
Thank you...............................
… And praying we will all learn a lot from the Gabby Petito situation.
Dr. Phil, I want to thank you for your selfless devotion to everyone's mental health and happiness. You have changed my life in ways you will never know. I want you to know you have changed the world and humanity. You are my life coach. Thank you so much, Gina from Louisiana.
I totally agree i just watched pt1 Dr Phil Celebrating 20 Years what an Awesome Man Wife and Crew 💕
"They create this world of how special and how important they are" so true
My Mother is the very definition of a narc, I had to absolutely cut off all contact with her, and another thing that's so sad is that my Father always backs her up 100%. It's like she has him brainwashed or something. My sister died of brain cancer 5 months ago, she was diagnosed 1yr and a week from the time she passed away and for a year that I kept in contact and saw my sister, (I live in another state) it drove my Mother crazy that her dying daughter was getting so much love and attention. She would tell my sister that no one loved her except for my mother. I heard this come out of her mouth. She would argue with my sister as she lay dying in the bed. It was one of the most traumatic things I've ever been through. When I would tell my Mother to stop, believe me, it only made things worst. We were all in a lose/lose situation. I loved my sister so very much, but a part of me is happy that she is in heaven now and doesn't have to put up with my Mother anymore.
My mother turned my step father against me. Her lies caused him to scream in my face that I wasnt his child. Full of fury and finger in my face. I Will never forgive that
Sorry for your loss. My mother is a narcissist, too. Got my father make excuses for her, too, telling me how I should feel sorry for her, etc. Sometimes I talk to him and make him see the truth, but I'm often afraid he's on her side. He is brainwashed. He seems very emotional and empathetic. He's easy to manipulate. I wish I could have a normal relationship with him.
Your dads are so called flying monkeys
I’m sorry you had a mother like that. Mine was a Massive, self centered, crazy person. She had 7 kids. Not one of us cared when she died.
I have seen your show you r narcissistic
I was with a narcissist sociopath for years , abusive relationship ...and what doctor Phil says about empathetic he had no empathy at all. I am glad I got out of that hell
So glad you got out!!!!! It’s like being with someone with no soul. They’re lacking so much, it’s almost like their not human. It’s very hard to separate yourself because you are then stalked- they don’t like rejection.
@@JL-zn7me So kind of you ❤thank you! God bless you 🙏
it took me 9 years to realise that my partner is a narcissist. She fooled me good. I left her for good. Her teenage son even told me that his mother was a narcicsist, i had doubts but he was right. Your video helped me understand thank you.
For me it was psychopathy. He didn’t have normal feelings. He had feelings for himself only. He burned every bridge he ever crossed - void of any remorse or guilt. No gratitude to God or people. He spat on all the good people who were dumb enough he thought to be kind to him and the notion of a God other than himself. He was strangely lacking in commonly socially accepted etiquette and was uncomfortable in social situations. He hated me because I wore the sparkly mask and did my hair and make up and I was nice and everyone liked me better. Lol He told me I was uncool. Lol But when I went anywhere people liked me and wanted to talk and it made him mad so I enjoyed doing it sometimes 😂 because it’s very natural for me lol He just looks unfriendly because he really is unfriendly. He’s thinking about what he can get from you. He has no feelings not even for his children or grandchildren. The shared experience he brings to the conversation in a social situation, those in which normal people talk about their kids achievements or how work sucks right now lol, a normal conversation would be bragging about his latest con on a broken female. He seems oblivious to people’s reaction to his antisocial offensive behavior. But that’s all he could say he was up to. Lol Any friendliness by him is forced and you can see it all over his face because he’s angry that he has to do it so you will give him money or a place to stay. He despises kindness and will punish you for it. And he can’t even fake kindness. It’s beneath him. But his face lol grinding his teeth and clenching his teeth because he thinks he looks weak because for him kindness is a weakness.
You are 💯 % right 🤦🏼♀️
Yes, there's a spectrum. Sounds like he was way at the high end of it.
Mine tells me ,when I wear makeup that I look like a prostitute,always says I am stupid and good for nothing.
💔😢 so true !!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙏
That psycho and sounds like he was jealous
This speaks volumes to me. I hope you'll do more videos on how to deal with narcissists. It's like a battle of wills 24/7. Not that you even need or want to win...but just trying to get them to understand anything at all. How does a person even have a relationship of any kind with a narcissist?
Check our Dr Ramani and Rebecca Zung on TH-cam…. Life changing videos literally - totally woke me up to what was going on….
A healthy relationship with a true narcissist isn’t possible.
They don’t have the ability, no more than a leg less person could walk.
CatsInACradle narcissists have no empathy so I don't believe you can have a relationship with one.
Sounds like you should run far away if you want to have a peaceful loving life!
I lived with a narcissist. I was young but didn't know his problem had a 'name' I was thinking he had adhd but I realized over time that it's NPD. all the things you say in this video is so true. I think to really be able to know if someone has NPD you have to live with them because to a stranger they seem relatively 'normal'. my biggest advice is to never get close to them and I find they are 10 times worse when they are drunk
My dad is a classic Narcissistic person and I gave up on him throughout my life and for good 15 years ago. I called him out on the phone and in a long letter and it's like screaming at someone who is 100 percent DEAF hoping that they will HEAR YOU. Narcissistic people don't have empathy at ALL and they should NOT HAVE CHILDREN. When he told my mom that he was "special " and " unique" she should have LEFT HIM RIGHT THEN AND THERE. Your GUT INSTINCT IS NEVER WRONG.
Excellent. My experience with a narcissist was exactly like this!
Mine too.
Accurate 😄!
Dr. Phil nails the narcissist topic. We learning so much. Thank you.
My ex-wife . Thank God I was able to get away !! My life has tremendously changed from being homeless to now having a great life !!! Not everyone can break free from these people !! There should be special program s to help these victims of abuse
"Don't bother". LOL. Thats the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Agreed! When you have their number...cut ties....They are nasty mean people.
extricating oneself from these people is sometimes like being in a bowl of taffy........................................
@@wendytaylor9730 Wendy, thats a great analogy! 🤗
Spot on! The only way of avoiding the damage narcissists do is to avoid the narcissist. Calling the narcissist out doesn't work, but it sure as hell makes you feel better!
They may take advantage of someone who is already in a vulnerable position. I would also agree that when you call them out, they may retaliate, and horribly gaslight you !! 👍👍
I feel our law and need to be educated on this when it comes to domestic abuse. They are so very charming and so good at manipulating. The narcissist and the empathy😢
I’m with you Lynne. It should be taught in school.
I had a narcissist mother, father and brother and they scapegoated me severly. I cut all ties with them and that was the best thing I have ever done. My now deceased father and brother tried to put their paws on my appartment, but luckily didn't succeed. I still have consequences like occasional panic attacks and agoraphobia, but am growing and improving and am proud of myself.
This is so true. This also happens in marriages and relationships. Everyone is their competition.
Its very lonely being the daughter of a narcissistic father and heartbreaking. I grey rock now it seems to work
I grew up with a father who said “I don’t depend on anybody” I just do it myself. He is 89 yrs old, and is bitter about life in general. I was always the empathetic daughter- but he remains unchanged. He had no empathy when my husband died. And to this day, talks badly about him. I will continue to be distant because after all these years he remains unchanged, he knows what he is doing and continues to display characteristics of a narcissist. Thank for the incite, Dr Phil!
Some of the narcissists in therapy actually win the therapists over.
Really?!
One thing for sure.. Dr Phil won't be won over😊
They really do!
Some know there stuff like dr ramani. See TH-cam for her videos. I even warned my therapist of my husband’s ability to persuade others and she was adamant she would not be. I just wanted to introduce them so she could see what I was dealing with and in the middle of out one hour ordeal she ask me in front of him “Adria, don’t you love John?” 😳 In the meeting following she said “You know Adria, sometimes hormones can play a big part of your perception…”(white noise after that). Needless to say that was our last session. Gaslighting can happen from anyone, most unintentionally.
Yep. My sister could murder someone, and talk her way out of the electric chair. Very manipulating & sneaky.
The hardest thing for me to get my head around is the fact that my daughter is a narcissist. She has completely & totally ripped my heart out not for the first time, but for the last time. She’s sucked me in too many times with the same outcome. It’s time to look after myself & my mental health. It’s so painful but I’m sticking to my guns this time. I
Same here. Step daughter. I was forced time and again to take her back. She destroyed so many of my relationships by lying about me. She is so clever that people believe her and get sucked in. No more. Cut her out completely. It is peacefull but waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's hell.
Yep pretty true. I’ve known several narcissists. Spot on. Don’t let yourself fall victim to them. It’s all them not you.
Spot on Dr. Phil... when you call a Narc out telling them what they did or said, they learn how to Feign Empathy... #RunDontWalkFromNarcs
Dr. Phil, you forget they win the therapist over, they are usually paying for the therapist. Yes, they don’t have feelings and learn behavior patterns in therapy to manipulate further outside therapy
Barbara Schultz.....
I once made the mistake of telling the narcicisst I was with how I caught him in something he was doing.....
The very next day I noticed he did the same thing but used a completely different tactic to do it in .....
So yes they will try different tactics to try to throw you off when they find out you are on to them
If you defend yourself in any way they throw it right back at you and then SCREAM " I don't want to hear it "
@@kristieingram8835 i caught my ex with an online ad looking for another woman the day after i returned from a 300 mile trip to see him and he kept denying it till i said i saw your address on the ad and then he accuses me of why are you looking where i live? WTF???
@@libbynovotny9979
Mine was ( always ) after other women from day one of our so called relationship.....
Then after many affairs had the Gaul to tell me I should forget what he did so we could move on......and could not understand WHY I would not let his lies go like they never happened.....
He liked women that drank , used drugs , dumb as hell and not very attractive.....
I was none of the above....so he never cared for me !!
LMAO.....Yep , he was a true piece of work.....
I hope you have escaped the demon known as a narcicisst
@@dianebarron8362 ... that and/or "I don't have to take this," and then they walk away.