Absolutely correct! I was always anxious and feeling like you don’t want to say the wrong thing or the relationship would end and always needing reassurance because your just waiting for the shoe to drop. That is a horrible way to be then ultimately discarded and blocked which created a whole other level of anxiety… smh
In less than 10 mins Ryan just made a case for why they should not be dated, entertained, married, or given the time of day until they fix the problematic behaviour they have. Avoidants always want to run up on these videos in comments and scream "it's not my fault, you secure people are rude ans have no compassion" 😆 .... Well, your reaction is your fault maybe not the cause of your behaviour but your reaction to the cause of your behaviour is and it's for you to address it, date other avoidants, stay single, and /or stop disturbing the average person's peace. Preferably you do all the above and stop justifying your behaviour. But then, Ryan is the only coach keeping it real and not teaching anyone to enable them so they don't hang around on his videos too long, leaving comments you'll find them on Thias' channel with her "personal development school" which is more like a school to enable an avoidant and turn yourself into one too, or an anxious reck 😑. But hey each to their own 😊
I applaud you Amen I have always said this they need to date narcissist or avodent just go heal yourself. And you're right they always justify I'm like you we all have issues but it doesn't give you a right to treat people like trash I'm done with these people if I ever meet another one they will be discarded quick.
Yes "the coaches" want you to fix all the problems their parents caused,, meanwhile they rake in all the money while youre bending yourself into a pretzel trying to fix the unfixable.
Hey!How did you finally get out of the relationship,I have been in no contact for more than 2 months but I still think only about him and I have not been able to move on
I was in constant anxiety for the on/off 2.5 plus year "Relationship" I think I had with my avoidant ex. Towards the end, when she finally said she was my girlfriend was when she really started acting even more avoidant than before. I was always on eggshells, wondering how she would respond to my good morning texts, if she would respond at all...If this would be the day that I did something to upset her and get the silent treatment for days/weeks or be broken up with for the 30th time I think it was more than that TBH. I loved this woman, and wanted to share a life with her, but I couldn't take it anymore. She's 56, going on 14, and is going to be a lonely old woman. Her family, and own daughter, disowned her. She's going to do this to the next guy, and the guy after that except she's going to realize the grass isn't so green on the other side at this stage in life.
Perfectly worded. You never know if you’re going to get a response from a text message or call all day. Easily upset about anything and everything. Then push you away for nothing. Worst heartbreak I ever had after being discarded. Now in therapy. Going to need it for awhile. Avoidants shouldn’t date ever. Just leaving broken hearts in their path. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.
Thank you so much Coach. It feels great knowing that you get it, you understand. I’m in no contact with an avoidant and I have no intention on reaching out. I lost my father and brother in a four month time span and my avoidant was useless to me so what’s the point?💔
I die of grief and rage and loneliness I want to die grief and rage rape me my soul is tortured and tormented and haunted and raped I'm lonely as all hell I've been raped all my life I cannot wait to die MY VOICE HAS BEEN SILENCED MY WHOLE DAMN LIFE. MY BEAUTIFUL SACRED MIRACULOUS VOICE. MY VOICE IS MY MAGICAL GIFT OF TRANSMUTATION! that being said, all my life... I have given people access to me in ways that I should not have EVER granted them access now, I want to scream at the top of my lungs: FUCK OFF!! YOU DO NOT GET TO HAVE ACCESS TO ME IN THAT WAY!! THE DOOR IS NOT OPEN!! YOU MAY NOT COME IN!! ACCESS DENIED!! I've been programmed my whole life to be silent, conditioned to have no boundaries...
Give them a reality check.. dump um’… how dare they get into a relationship without healing their past trauma!!! Very selfish getting innocent people involved, only to f with them.
Yea, i realize i did all of the work . 2.5 yrs and he blew me out of the water,and he was nasty and rude. Month no contact,and the pain is there but better. Hes 55 his loss.
So on point! They are always on the run and its got me over here thinking "what did I do?" I didnt know what anxiety was until I fell in love with an avoidant... Jesus is helping me love and understand him though. Everything is gonna be ok 🤎
It's just incredible how other people can share the exact same sentiment... You hit the nail on the "Not knowing about anxiety until dating an avoidant" - I learned a lot about my own anxiety dating one. I appreciate her for that.
Absolutely correct! I was always anxious and feeling like you don’t want to say the wrong thing or the relationship would end and always needing reassurance because your just waiting for the shoe to drop. That is a horrible way to be then ultimately discarded and blocked which created a whole other level of anxiety… smh
And even asking for the
reassurance.
Avoidants lives seem very exhausting.
My DA lives a complete life of lies
Similar experience. Feels like walking on eggshells.
1. Push/Pull Dynamic (Mixed Messages)
2. Walking on eggshells, sacrificing your own wants/needs
3. Emotional unavailability of avoidant
In less than 10 mins Ryan just made a case for why they should not be dated, entertained, married, or given the time of day until they fix the problematic behaviour they have.
Avoidants always want to run up on these videos in comments and scream "it's not my fault, you secure people are rude ans have no compassion" 😆 .... Well, your reaction is your fault maybe not the cause of your behaviour but your reaction to the cause of your behaviour is and it's for you to address it, date other avoidants, stay single, and /or stop disturbing the average person's peace. Preferably you do all the above and stop justifying your behaviour.
But then, Ryan is the only coach keeping it real and not teaching anyone to enable them so they don't hang around on his videos too long, leaving comments you'll find them on Thias' channel with her "personal development school" which is more like a school to enable an avoidant and turn yourself into one too, or an anxious reck 😑. But hey each to their own 😊
I applaud you Amen I have always said this they need to date narcissist or avodent just go heal yourself. And you're right they always justify I'm like you we all have issues but it doesn't give you a right to treat people like trash I'm done with these people if I ever meet another one they will be discarded quick.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Yes "the coaches" want you to fix all the problems their parents caused,, meanwhile they rake in all the money while youre bending yourself into a pretzel trying to fix the unfixable.
So true it started effecting my health they are not worth it.
Who wants to be an emotional rag doll ? Just mirror their behavior & move on.
I have to forgive myself. 6 years of sacrificing myself for someone that was avoidant and abusive (a covert narc).
BINGO! Please coach Ryan never stop making these videos! They are my life line! Thank you for what you do!
Awesome Coach
I’m so angry with myself, knowing all these I still can’t let go of him completely
I know what you mean but trust me, you have to. Things,keep getting worse
I don’t have to carry this anymore.
They don’t communicate
Cheers a lot coach Ryan, you are providing much clarity and peace to many of us! 🧘🏻🕊️❤️
Your best video. Spot on.
Will never ever get involved romantically with an avoidant again soooooo bad …. anxiety like I have never felt before ….. never again
Hey!How did you finally get out of the relationship,I have been in no contact for more than 2 months but I still think only about him and I have not been able to move on
❤
I was in constant anxiety for the on/off 2.5 plus year "Relationship" I think I had with my avoidant ex. Towards the end, when she finally said she was my girlfriend was when she really started acting even more avoidant than before. I was always on eggshells, wondering how she would respond to my good morning texts, if she would respond at all...If this would be the day that I did something to upset her and get the silent treatment for days/weeks or be broken up with for the 30th time I think it was more than that TBH.
I loved this woman, and wanted to share a life with her, but I couldn't take it anymore. She's 56, going on 14, and is going to be a lonely old woman. Her family, and own daughter, disowned her. She's going to do this to the next guy, and the guy after that except she's going to realize the grass isn't so green on the other side at this stage in life.
Right
Perfectly worded. You never know if you’re going to get a response from a text message or call all day. Easily upset about anything and everything. Then push you away for nothing. Worst heartbreak I ever had after being discarded. Now in therapy. Going to need it for awhile. Avoidants shouldn’t date ever. Just leaving broken hearts in their path. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.
Thank you so much Coach. It feels great knowing that you get it, you understand. I’m in no contact with an avoidant and I have no intention on reaching out. I lost my father and brother in a four month time span and my avoidant was useless to me so what’s the point?💔
So true,they just can’t stand any show of negative emotions. I experienced the same when my dog passed.
I am so sorry that you went through that. I hope you have other people in your life that can help you through these difficult times❤
So sorry to hear.
But it gave you the chance to see his true colours
They have narcissistic traits stay away from them I was an unhappy reck.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is a very lonely place being in a relationship with an avoidant.
You are so awesome Coach Ryan!
I die of grief and rage and loneliness
I want to die
grief and rage rape me
my soul is tortured and tormented
and haunted and raped
I'm lonely as all hell
I've been raped all my life
I cannot wait to die
MY VOICE HAS BEEN SILENCED
MY WHOLE DAMN LIFE.
MY BEAUTIFUL SACRED MIRACULOUS VOICE.
MY VOICE IS MY MAGICAL GIFT OF TRANSMUTATION!
that being said,
all my life...
I have given people access to me
in ways that I should not have EVER
granted them access
now,
I want to scream
at the top of my lungs:
FUCK OFF!!
YOU DO NOT GET TO HAVE ACCESS TO ME IN THAT WAY!!
THE DOOR IS NOT OPEN!!
YOU MAY NOT COME IN!!
ACCESS DENIED!!
I've been programmed my whole life to be silent,
conditioned to have no boundaries...
I feel you
Avoidants are also very opportunist, and they know it.
Give them a reality check.. dump um’… how dare they get into a relationship without healing their past trauma!!! Very selfish getting innocent people involved, only to f with them.
Amazing!! Thank you so much. ❤
Thank you Ryan, this and your other videos have helped me enormously.
Yea, i realize i did all of the work . 2.5 yrs and he blew me out of the water,and he was nasty and rude. Month no contact,and the pain is there but better. Hes 55 his loss.
Thank you coach Ryan, can I just ask whilst they are emotionally unavailable do they ever actually care about us as they never show it?
Excellent!
So on point!
They are always on the run and its got me over here thinking "what did I do?"
I didnt know what anxiety was until I fell in love with an avoidant...
Jesus is helping me love and understand him though.
Everything is gonna be ok 🤎
It's just incredible how other people can share the exact same sentiment... You hit the nail on the "Not knowing about anxiety until dating an avoidant" - I learned a lot about my own anxiety dating one. I appreciate her for that.