It's so rare to find a video addressing ADHD that is also actually effective. This was a rare video - there are some tips here I can actually use, which I appreciate more than I can ever hope to convey. Thank-you for making and sharing this video, it really is superb 😊
I was trying and failing to explain this to a friend just last night (I am recently diagnosed at 50, with symptoms becoming untenable at perimenopause like a previous commentor, and still struggling despite HRT and newly started ADHD meds) so now I can share this video to explain it purposefully and save myself and my friend from falling into a spiral of frustration when I know she is trying to help. It also helps me confirm where I need to put focus, realigning my self-perception after a lifetime of the ‘shame and pressure’ combo, in various settings. I know shame is not constructive and has kept my self-esteem low so now I feel acutely behind the curve in comparison with peers as being smart is not enough to cover being unproductive. The tools described give me the fresh take I’ve been desperately seeking. Thank you for the video - the explanation, the excellent delivery and the case study and shared experience that resonated. Very constructive and much appreciated.
I" m about to turn 58 in a few days. It was my 24 year old daughter who told me I should consider be tested for ADHD. I decided to do a bit of research and the more I read, the more I realize she's right. Besides me being impulsive, forgetful, being late all the time, unable to focus when conversing with someone without my mind wondering, procrastinating, etc. My biggest problems in life to the point of feeling useless have been low self-esteem and what I've called all this time self sabotage. I noticed I stop doing even things I truly enjoy like reading, painting, going for a walk in the forest, going out with friends, etc. I went to my Dr at the beginning of the year, he' diagnosed me with depression and gave me antidepressants bc is normal for women in menopause. I tried them for a few months and felt like I was losing my mind, I threw them in the toilet bc I've never felt so close to feeling like a complete psycho.. If I am ADHD it will solve my million dollar question as to why I do and feel the way I do. I've started to look into doctors who can help me because to be honest,I am exhausted living this way. Thank you for the information
Many women find that during perimenopause and menopause, the mild ADHD symptoms they've been able to live with their whole life become unmanageable. Perimenopause can affect ADHD symptoms because hormone levels, like estrogen, start to drop during this time. This decrease can lead to lower dopamine levels, which might make ADHD symptoms worse. Women with ADHD may experience more severe symptoms during perimenopause, such as increased anxiety, depression, moodiness, and difficulty concentrating. It's important to be aware of these changes and consider discussing them with a healthcare provider for support and possible treatment options. Since you aren't sure if you have ADHD but do know you are in menopause or perimenopause you might consider starting by treating the menopause symptoms if you aren't already. Just one idea to start with. You can also start the ball rolling on an evaluation for ADHD symptoms as well. www.understood.org/en/articles/adhd-diagnosis-woman www.understood.org/en/podcasts/missunderstood/adhd-and-hormones www.understood.org/en/articles/adhd-hormones-women
@@UnderstoodOrg Thank you very much for the helpful advice. I have started using HRT. And will go full keto after the holidays bc I've read that low carb diet does help with some symptoms (and who am I kidding, there's no way I can resist all the goodies at the Xmas markets!! ) Also planning going back to the gym. I'm hoping to find a Dr who can test me by January
I was just told we published this article today which feels very timely for our conversation so I wanted to share it with you as well: www.understood.org/en/articles/menopause-adhd-symptoms
Same here .. my daughter came to me with her symptoms and then said “yeah .. Mum I think you have it too” .. I’m 58 too just got a diagnosis of adhd with all the symptoms you’ve listed too
I really appreciate this so much. Figuring out the parts of chores, things that need doing that I actually like has helped me feel less pressure to do them and wait less time as well. I like the way warm water feels through my dishwashing gloves so I wash dishes the day I make them dirty instead of the day the sink is overflowing. It's in the same vein of slowing down to speed up, really trying to feel and experience things as I go. Also it's ok to make mistakes as you go when it feels more like exploration instead of specific time sensitive project constraints.
Awesome tips and great video!! I'll think about how to apply those in my life. My mom used to put so much pressure and shame on me in high school. I think I even have some kind of ptsd because of it, I carry so much fear. But even with the pressure and good grades, I didn't manage to get to the college I wanted to. So that was a waste of time lol. When I recently asked her why was she like that, she said "I saw you were smart, but you just wouldn't do the work!". Sometimes I wonder would I even do things for school if it weren't for her pressure - your video is proving me wrong. It's sad that I can't even imagine how it's like to have a compassionate parent so I don't know who I would/could be. But now it's time to be my own compassionate parent 🥹 Thank you again for sharing, this was very, very useful.
Wow! I've already learned so many important things about myself and my brain from ADHD videos but this is the first one really explaining why our brain always runs away from important tasks we feel pressed to do. Thank you so much!
It feels like my ON button gets turned off. It's paralyzing. It's tough being an electrician with this thing. I'm glad my customers love me just the way I am. Its a real blessing.
This was very helpful! Thank you! I'm going to start working for myself next year. I'm extremely nervous because I have relied on shame and pressure to motivate myself in academia and my profession. Now, I will have to rely more on self-motivation, and I am both excited and worried that without external pressure, I will not achieve anything.
This was extremely helpful. I have ADHD and my daughter does also. I homeschool her. I would love a video on this topic but with the focus of how us ADHD-ers apply this when parenting our ADHD children. How do I motivate my daughter without using shame?
I love that you're so aware of the potential of having shame play a role in things since you both have a diagnosis of ADHD. We have a few podcast episodes and videos that address shame and ADHD. I think you might enjoy this ADHD Aha episode with Katy th-cam.com/video/1qIGsiQSHLo/w-d-xo.html
It's so rare to find a video addressing ADHD that is also actually effective. This was a rare video - there are some tips here I can actually use, which I appreciate more than I can ever hope to convey. Thank-you for making and sharing this video, it really is superb 😊
Thanks so much for this lovely comment!
Agreed!!
I was trying and failing to explain this to a friend just last night (I am recently diagnosed at 50, with symptoms becoming untenable at perimenopause like a previous commentor, and still struggling despite HRT and newly started ADHD meds) so now I can share this video to explain it purposefully and save myself and my friend from falling into a spiral of frustration when I know she is trying to help. It also helps me confirm where I need to put focus, realigning my self-perception after a lifetime of the ‘shame and pressure’ combo, in various settings. I know shame is not constructive and has kept my self-esteem low so now I feel acutely behind the curve in comparison with peers as being smart is not enough to cover being unproductive. The tools described give me the fresh take I’ve been desperately seeking. Thank you for the video - the explanation, the excellent delivery and the case study and shared experience that resonated. Very constructive and much appreciated.
I" m about to turn 58 in a few days. It was my 24 year old daughter who told me I should consider be tested for ADHD. I decided to do a bit of research and the more I read, the more I realize she's right. Besides me being impulsive, forgetful, being late all the time, unable to focus when conversing with someone without my mind wondering, procrastinating, etc. My biggest problems in life to the point of feeling useless have been low self-esteem and what I've called all this time self sabotage. I noticed I stop doing even things I truly enjoy like reading, painting, going for a walk in the forest, going out with friends, etc. I went to my Dr at the beginning of the year, he' diagnosed me with depression and gave me antidepressants bc is normal for women in menopause. I tried them for a few months and felt like I was losing my mind, I threw them in the toilet bc I've never felt so close to feeling like a complete psycho.. If I am ADHD it will solve my million dollar question as to why I do and feel the way I do. I've started to look into doctors who can help me because to be honest,I am exhausted living this way. Thank you for the information
Many women find that during perimenopause and menopause, the mild ADHD symptoms they've been able to live with their whole life become unmanageable. Perimenopause can affect ADHD symptoms because hormone levels, like estrogen, start to drop during this time. This decrease can lead to lower dopamine levels, which might make ADHD symptoms worse. Women with ADHD may experience more severe symptoms during perimenopause, such as increased anxiety, depression, moodiness, and difficulty concentrating. It's important to be aware of these changes and consider discussing them with a healthcare provider for support and possible treatment options. Since you aren't sure if you have ADHD but do know you are in menopause or perimenopause you might consider starting by treating the menopause symptoms if you aren't already. Just one idea to start with. You can also start the ball rolling on an evaluation for ADHD symptoms as well. www.understood.org/en/articles/adhd-diagnosis-woman
www.understood.org/en/podcasts/missunderstood/adhd-and-hormones
www.understood.org/en/articles/adhd-hormones-women
@@UnderstoodOrg Thank you very much for the helpful advice. I have started using HRT. And will go full keto after the holidays bc I've read that low carb diet does help with some symptoms (and who am I kidding, there's no way I can resist all the goodies at the Xmas markets!! ) Also planning going back to the gym. I'm hoping to find a Dr who can test me by January
I was just told we published this article today which feels very timely for our conversation so I wanted to share it with you as well: www.understood.org/en/articles/menopause-adhd-symptoms
Me too! In agreement
Same here .. my daughter came to me with her symptoms and then said “yeah .. Mum I think you have it too” .. I’m 58 too just got a diagnosis of adhd with all the symptoms you’ve listed too
I really appreciate this so much. Figuring out the parts of chores, things that need doing that I actually like has helped me feel less pressure to do them and wait less time as well. I like the way warm water feels through my dishwashing gloves so I wash dishes the day I make them dirty instead of the day the sink is overflowing. It's in the same vein of slowing down to speed up, really trying to feel and experience things as I go. Also it's ok to make mistakes as you go when it feels more like exploration instead of specific time sensitive project constraints.
We are so glad you found it helpful!
Awesome tips and great video!! I'll think about how to apply those in my life.
My mom used to put so much pressure and shame on me in high school. I think I even have some kind of ptsd because of it, I carry so much fear. But even with the pressure and good grades, I didn't manage to get to the college I wanted to. So that was a waste of time lol. When I recently asked her why was she like that, she said "I saw you were smart, but you just wouldn't do the work!". Sometimes I wonder would I even do things for school if it weren't for her pressure - your video is proving me wrong. It's sad that I can't even imagine how it's like to have a compassionate parent so I don't know who I would/could be.
But now it's time to be my own compassionate parent 🥹 Thank you again for sharing, this was very, very useful.
Sharing with my entire ADHD family!!! This is EXACTLY what *I* needed to hear today! Thank you! ❤
We're so glad it was helpful!
Wow! I've already learned so many important things about myself and my brain from ADHD videos but this is the first one really explaining why our brain always runs away from important tasks we feel pressed to do. Thank you so much!
It feels like my ON button gets turned off. It's paralyzing. It's tough being an electrician with this thing. I'm glad my customers love me just the way I am. Its a real blessing.
This was very helpful! Thank you! I'm going to start working for myself next year. I'm extremely nervous because I have relied on shame and pressure to motivate myself in academia and my profession. Now, I will have to rely more on self-motivation, and I am both excited and worried that without external pressure, I will not achieve anything.
Glad it was helpful!
I don't know if I have ADHD, but you just described my whole life. Pressure and shame, baby!
If you're curious, here's an article that dives into the symptoms of ADHD in women: www.understood.org/en/articles/adhd-symptoms-in-women
Holy Crap!!! 🤯 She just described me to a T!!! I need to share this with a couple of people in my life to help them understand my brain!
❤ T Y so much for this!
Thank you!!!❤
This was extremely helpful. I have ADHD and my daughter does also. I homeschool her. I would love a video on this topic but with the focus of how us ADHD-ers apply this when parenting our ADHD children. How do I motivate my daughter without using shame?
I love that you're so aware of the potential of having shame play a role in things since you both have a diagnosis of ADHD. We have a few podcast episodes and videos that address shame and ADHD. I think you might enjoy this ADHD Aha episode with Katy th-cam.com/video/1qIGsiQSHLo/w-d-xo.html
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I'm putting off grading papers and watching this video instead. Sigh.
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