Movie Couple Therapy: LA LA LAND
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 มิ.ย. 2024
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How do you reconcile personal passions with relationship needs when they conflict?
Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright are taking a look at famous movie couple, Mia and Sebastian, from La La Land. In this movie couples therapy episode, Jonathan takes on the controversy of their relationship and how 🚨 SPOILERS 🚨 they don’t end up together and why that’s okay. Gasp! What do you think? Alan shares a lot of filmmaking commentary for obvious reasons. It’s a love letter to Hollywood!
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Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, Alan Seawright, and Corinne Demyanovich
Edited by: David Sant
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis
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Stop accepting money from BH. Big TH-camrs should know and do better than this
Dang I can't watch this episode and I'm genuinely upset now cause I just wanted to watch my comfort yt channel cause I'm having a hard time
Surprised you're still advertising for betterhelp considering all of the problems that have come up with them, including..
- Perverse incentives for the "therapists"
- Not necessarily hiring accredited therapists
- Not conforming to HIPAA
- Lying about not conforming to HIPAA
I'm posting this again because it seems like you guys think this isn't a problem, but... it is? It's really really weird that a therapist is going out and still swinging for Better Help despite how many things are deeply, deeply wrong with it. You guys make great content, but you have a seriously bizarrely unaware track record with the sponsors you decide to accept.
This... So important. Thank you for taking the time to call them out on this. It's bizarre to me and makes me increasingly uncomfortable with the channel. @@SaturnineAberrance
The ending was bittersweet, but realistic. Sadly, no matter how much you may love each other, love can't always overcome, and you can't balance your relationship with your career. The shot where Mia and Sebastian smile at each other is poignant, as they silently wish each other the best, as they've achieved their dreams, even if they split up in the process.
How are your comments on every video I watch 😭
No (respectfully), the ending was bittersweet but almost unrealistic. So many couples break up and hold resentment but in this movie love wasn't lost but demonstrated real love. As said in the video the love transformed and I think the love became even deeper. You can see it in their eyes at the end of the film when they smile at each other and truly wish each other the best.
I see your point, but think it’s not realistic so much as idealistic...a beautiful, balanced ending, and life rarely happens that way, where it’s equally satisfactory, for both. I hope someday to find this kind of love with another human being, (but at my age, it’s unlikely!)🤞❤😊
@@purplefox8970True. The resentment comes from having to sacrifice something you don't want to sacrifice.
I saw this movie with 2 friends, one an emotional artist and the other a logical scientist. I'm somewhere in-between with a background in literature. I disliked the ending but didn't freak out like my artist friend, but when my scientist friend said it was "realistic", that got me started. People tend to associate"realistic" with "disappointing", but "realistic" means "appearing as things really are", and from what the filmmakers showed on the screen, the breakup made no sense. Their relationship was set in a modern world with convenient travel and instant communication. Her work likely would take her back to LA. The breakup would make more sense if it were set in a time without planes or phones, or if one of them were going on a dangerous mission to never return, but no, they had phones, planes, and safe jobs. Maybe they felt they couldn't handle the temporary distance and uncertain future, but the movie up to that point proved otherwise as they supported each other through much uncertainty and many hours of dedication to their goals. It felt very unrealistic to me that they didn't try to make it work or at least remain friends and check in on each other from time to time. But it's a movie and wouldn't be one without some dramatic all-or-nothing ending.
Back then people used to say that La La Land was overrated cuz the film won so many awards but I still thought that it is just straight up a masterpiece. I love the story, the coreography, cinematography, colours and everything that makes it so different than other films. almost made me cry too lol.
It kinda got shafted at the awards though. when announcing the winner of the Best Picture award, the host read La La Land as the winner, but after about a minute or so realized it was the wrong card, and the award was supposed to go to Moonlight instead. it was a train-wreck.
ngl I had absolutely zero desire to watch it because I hate most romance movies and this looked like another cliche romance with better music. Now I kind of want to watch it.
@@raptor_redd So do I normally, but this was actually really good.
When I initially saw the film I liked it but thought it was overhyped and didn’t get why it won so many things. But watching it again a couple years later I thought it was brilliant and completely deserving. It’s the type of film that has to sink in and it’s beautiful.
@@raptor_reddI also don't like romantic movies because they're often so wishy-washy but this one felt real something that I could relate to. Many romantic movies act like love is the only thing that matters, not this one
I like the line “I’m always going to love you” because while it sometimes is not enough to maintain the relationship, it doesn’t mean the feelings are any less strong
Does this mean: I love you. But I don’t like being with you
@@lisawang3566 its more "i love you, but us being together is going to hurt us more in the future"
The phrase doesn’t mean anything. Besides “I may or may not lament what could’ve been, while actively pursuing more self-serving relationships amidst avoiding responsibility for my feelings”. Or that’s my jaded take 🥴
It has weight. Just because you have more reason to be apart than together, doesn't mean it's better to not know someone's feelings. Being in each other's lives isn't implicit with love. But you know, especially in this case, that there's someone out there that supports you and loves you for who you are, and in your endeavors, and that means more than someone who only "loves" you when you are together and influencing each other's lives daily. If they let you go, you can find that everyday love too. But you will always have that raft in a tumultuous sea, and know that "showing up" isn't the only boat to rely on and keep you steady.
I think the world needs more of this message. The idea that sometimes you may love someone and have chemistry, but if you don't want the same things out of life, sometimes it's better to let that go and find love again than cling to it and make both of you miserable. We're so oversaturated with this idea of one true love that will complete us and make us whole... That we start expecting another person to fill too large a role in our lives.
I agree with these sentiments. Love isn’t enough to sustain a relationship, You and your partner need to have similar goals and values to keep the relationship going.
@@sakunaruful One of my last relationships was with someone that did NOT understand this. They were absolutely convinced that the only acceptable reason to break up with someone was falling out of love, and even that was almost a moral failing, like you hadn't tried hard enough to keep the relationship alive. We had plenty of chemistry and cared about each other, but had opposing values and neither of us was really what the other person was looking for in a partner. I wish that relationship could have ended better, but by the time they finally let go... The whole thing was just in shambles. I wish them the best, but have no desire to ever be part of each other's lives again.
@@dutchvanl I’m sorry, you had to go through a unpleasant breakup. Hopefully, you can find a better partner that will share your values.
@@sakunaruful Thanks! Since then quite happily married! 🙂
@@dutchvanl I’m happy for you. You found that person.
I had a relationship where we were in unhealthy places as individuals which made us toxic AF.
We broke up 26 years ago.
10 years later, both of us had moved to different states and he reached out to me via Facebook. It started a beautiful 15 year friendship, and through the years, he moved back to the city where we met, I moved all over the country for my career, and I finally settled down on the other side of the country from him, finally finding the a place where I could let my passions come through and find inner happiness and success.
The last time we spoke was in the middle of October last year, and we affirmed to each other that the love never went away, but like in this film, it changed through the years.
He passed away on October 24, 2023 in his sleep due to heart failure. I miss him and I will always love him deeply. I’m just glad that we were able to leave nothing unsaid and everything on the table. I feel very lucky in that respect.
RIP, Jeff. 1969-2023
I'm very sorry for your loss, but glad that you got to have such a beautiful relationship with him after the fact.
That's a beautiful story. Thank youm
I feel that should be made into a film. Alan?
Thank you for sharing your lived experience. Much love to you!
this is so beautiful yet so bittersweet. to have lived is to have loved and to have been loved. sorry for your loss and thank you so much for sharing this. 🫶🏻
I saw this pop up and clicked it immediately, La La Land is top 3 all time movies for me
me too :D
The Matrix, Before Sunset, and La La Land, knew it was top 3 the first time I saw it
@@isaaccrist8642awesome top 3!
Exactly the same on absolutely everything, I was gonna comment the same thing
Same but because this channel is one of my favorites
The last scene will always break my heart a little.
I cried at the last scene. It's so poignant ❤.
Just recalling it makes me WEEP
The last scene will always break my heart a lot
Only a little?? Haha
I'm like Alan crying seeing that scene! It's so heartbreaking!
This movie reminds me of a Bojack Horseman quote:
“I think there are people that help you become the person you end up being, and you can be greatful for them even if they were never meant to be in your life forever.”
I remember seeing the movie with my now expartner right before we split up and we both walked out of the cinema that night knowing that we have this kind of a relationship and that this is how we're going to end. People rarely see such realistic and imperfect relationship in Hollywood blockbuster movies and that's why I love it because it so very relatable to many people. Mia and Seb needed each other in order to become the people they always wanted to be. Fantastic movie
I had a similar relationship a little over 25 years ago. It ended up being the start of one of the most meaningful friendships of my life.
I hope you are in a better place now but are still able to have a place in your heart if not in your life for your former partner.
This movie is quite meaningful to me because I had a similar experience. My boyfriend (at the time) and I saw this in theatres before we - funny enough - moved to Paris together for his job, and I think we could both tell our relationship would end kind of like this at some point. We broke up about 2 years later, and a few years after that, I found the love of my life in Paris. I'm so glad things turned out the way they did. I hope you're doing well now :)
My ex loved this movie and he’d compare our relationship to it since his job would take him overseas and mine could take me across the country. It definitely didn’t help the breakup lol
Ironically the movie “the breakup” triggered my last breakup. My ex and I used have the same fight word for word, over and over. After we watched that movie we sat in silence. I’ve never known such silence. That movie is so terrible but has a weird place in my life now
@@katszabo13 My family and I will still sometimes randomly say "Gary, on the kickdrum! Come come, on the kickdrum!" 😂
"Paris... Good jazz there. And you love jazz now"
So often, things that our ex's get us interested in can become tainted memories (rollerskating for me; i learned to skate for her, and fell a good few times figuring out how to balance, let alone move). That line is such a small but powerful detail about how their love stays strong forever. She wont resent jazz because it reminds her of him. He wont hate movies or plays because it reminds him of her. They cherish every experience they had together
I want to add my two piece.
A. Speaking of colors yellow is a very very important color in the movie. Anytime there is yellow there is a change in the story, from Mia & Seb's official meeting, John Legend, and even the imaginary crowd in the ideal past holding yellow flowers.
B. The final look means so much to me. Their entire relationship, she went to him for validation and support and in this final look she looks back almost asking "it was worth it, right? Were happy" and he looks back with the light in his eyes as he nods, "everything is ok. We're happy" and she smiles a goodbye and nods back at him as she says goodbye to him and that idealistic past/chapter of that life.
Do you think he ever moved on. I think the heartbreak is his muse.
@WilliamsPinch I don't think either of them ever truly did, a part of them still longs for that alternate reality but I think they've come to embrace it
Alan's take that the love story is between the leads and Hollywood is exactly how I always read this movie. I like Jono's addition that it is a love story about a love that changes form. This movie is challenging because for most of the run time, it reads like a standard Hollywood Boy-Meets-Girl, and you're expecting a standard Hollywood Boy-Meets-Girl Happily Ever After. What you get instead is a contemplation on what it means to have a dream, pursue a dream, and care enough about another person to push them toward their dream (even if that push sends them away from you). It's a love letter to Hollywood, and I really just love that about it.
Please do a review of "Bridge to Terabithia." It really handled dealing with the loss of a friend in a mature, honest manner, and the performances from the child actors were wonderful.
oh my god that movie...I barely remember it but i remember it being very visceral
oh god, it's such a great movie but so so sad
Oh man I want them to do it but I know I will literally dessicate from crying
@@dubblebubbletoilandtrouble6646 same 🥲
ohmygod YES. that destroyed me as a kid.
This movie hit so close to home when it came out. My ex-girlfriend truly loved musicals, and in turn made me into a big fan of musicals. We had a breakup similar to this one. It was a painful breakup, but we had to go our different directions because we had become different people from when we first got together. It's been a decade since my ex and I broke up, and whenever my ex comes up in my mind, I do that small smirk that Seb does to Mia. I became who I am now because of that relationship, and I grew to be the person who would make the right husband for my now-wife. None of that happens without my previous relationship. I'll always love my ex, and I'm thankful for that relationship because I wouldn't be who I am, and I wouldn't be where I am now, without that love.
I remember getting into a debate with my mom after I watched this movie for the first time. I said I loved how the film ended with them not being together. She argued that the point of the ending montage was that they should have ended up together, should have chosen each other, should have found a way to make their dreams work together. I disagreed. I interpreted the ending montage as the dream, while the movie was trying to stay true to reality. The beauty of this film, in my eyes, is that it acknowledges that real life is not like the movies. A big, beautiful relationship isn't always the be all end all. Even when that love never goes away, it doesn't mean everything that comes after is a mistake. Relationships change you, and therein lies the real beauty.
Also it was just really refreshing to see a movie go against the grain and give you an ending you weren't expecting that remains just as satisfying (moreso even) than the one you did expect.
I always thought the ending montage was to show that they couldn't have both their dreams and the loves of their lives. If they sacrificed their dreams they could absolutely be happy together, have a child, have a decent home, but Seb wouldn't own a jazz club and Mia wouldn't be a famous actress. Since, at its heart, the movie is a love letter to the city of Los Angeles, it felt apt for them to choose their dreams. That is what they originally wanted when they went to LA and having the love of their lives did not change that desire ESPECIALLY when presented with the opportunity of a lifetime. And it's incredible to see how in sync they were in the end to want each other to pursue their respective dreams because they understood what that meant even if it split them apart.
I think the ending was amazing because it shows how grateful they both are to have had each other in their lives. And that even though they don't end up together, their relationship was a once in a lifetime thing that cannot be compared to anything else.
Are you sure your mom doesn't have a point? I agree that this movie was unique to go against the grain, but "life isn't like the movies" -- so life is like THIS movie? 😂😂
I know your point, which is true that most of life isn't a fairy tale. But to both your credit -- both paths are valid for all people. For some people, the path to happiness doesn't involve the person you're with now. For others, it's the match that was meant to be. And sometimes, the works with where each person is already in their life. And sacrifices can be made without leaving bitterness in the end. It's all about what people want in their lives.
I don’t think it’s reality vs dream. It’s showing us what could have been. In that alternative universe, they stayed together but had to sacrifice their dreams (at least one of them).
Something that always got me about their scene before the epilogue is how Sebastian and Mia had an opportunity to rekindle their love but chose not to go all the way; both were willing to go so far for their dreams, but neither could fully commit to their relationship. Given how the film's message is about committing fully to a dream, or it dies, their failed romance is an excellent reminder of why that's important.
Just started the video but I already know the answer, do they belong together is irrelevant, they belong to their dreams and their love for each other is so strong they would never dare get in each others way of achieving those dreams. Love can transcend any and all boundaries. Sometimes people that should be together, don’t end up together, because they end up with theirs dreams. Achieving what you want involves sacrifice and sometimes you have to sacrifice what you love. It’s just a part of life.
I saw this in theatres several times because I was going through depression due to the death of my brother. This movie helped me survive and I’ll love it forever. It’s a magical masterpiece.
Sorry for the loss of your brother
Sorry for the loss of your brother. Glad to hear you feel better now. A great movie, an incredible song, a book, or religious belief can do magic things to us.
Sorry to hear that about you brother good the movie help
If I had a nickel for every time a Ryan Gosling character made a decision about his relationship based on the opinions of his SO’s parents rather than his SO, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.
Oh yes, I'd almost forgotten that his character in "The Notebook" was in much the same predicament.
What does SO stand for ?
@@muborakrustamova9753 It stands for "Significant Other."
@@muborakrustamova9753Significant other. Sorry, I thought that was common!
Blue Valentine is kinda in that vein as well
Jonathan's technique in this video, which has been stated before in other videos, to think about why we're angry or irritated, what nerve it's pressing, instead of the anger or irritation itself has really helped me personally. Whenever I've been getting irritated at stuff recently I've been able to pause and think, "Why is this making me so emotional?" I don't know if I've discovered any deep personal truths about myself, but I have been more reflective and more willing to calm down. It has also prevented me from snapping back at people I care about, so I'm very grateful for that piece of wisdom.
Really liked your words. Thanks for sharing.
💯 same here
There was this guy in my high school when I was a sophomore back in 2010 that spoke to high schoolers in the country and he said something about what love is. Surprisingly, I still haven't forgotten it. Jonathan says that love is wanting happiness for the other person and what the guy said that connects to what Jonathan said is that love is choosing the highest good for the other person. I also think that choosing the highest good for the other person means that even if you have to step out of the way just so the other person can fly, you have to be mature enough to do that
So, I have a story. When I was in high school, I had a best friend. We had immediate chemistry, but the timing never worked out. So we remained friends and flirted, but never took a step forward. When we were 20, through a rather complicated series of events, we were finally able to pursue a relationship. It lasted it year, but felt longer and deeper because of our history. He left me (and honestly he was a dick about it), but the love never left, or got weaker, at least not on my part. I have always thought he left out of fear, but you make me think in a way I never have before. Maybe (in his own dickish way), he loved me enough to leave and let me live my life. And now it's been 10 years and I still love him so deeply it hurts and I'm crying in my pool and my son is very concerned lol
“You like jazz 😏”
“YOU’RE FIRED”
I absolutely loved that
They were never meant to end up together. "Another Day of Sun" sets up the attitude of LA residents in general and Mia's "I Want" song is solely focused on career.
I’m glad this movie gave that brief “but what if” end with them. Because films are still about wish fulfillment to a degree, and the two of them got what they wanted and are happy apart, but seeing them happy together is what the audience would want, so we got a taste of that as well. And it adds a little to the realism of us also thinking about our choices and knowing each one can take us in different directions which we can’t know about until later.
Absolutely, that was the cherry on top. I like to imagine the writer(s) were like: "Oh so you are upset they didn't end up together? Wait 'till you see this montage!", and then proceeded to plunge the knife even deeper lol.
It happens in old musicals, but many of them end happier.
Recently I realized that there's so much to the title itself. It's "La La" so singing, a mild shoutout to the city of Los Angeles but most importantly it's about the land of our dreams which is the main theme here. What a movie.
I always felt this was about creative sacrifice and that anyone who commits to their art or profession always pays a price, no matter how successful they may appear to be.
I didn't buy that they would've felt complete either as a couple or in their professions. But instead, through an acceptance of life as it is rather than as it 'should' be.
They both find value in each other as they are, despite their (lack of) successes. It's through that sense of inherent value that they each, ironically, find the belief to be successful in their own way. I'd argue they didn't need to find success at all to do that.
"A love story about love that changes form, but is still love" is so well put.
I literally asked you guys in the comments of last week to do this one. I can't believe it is already here. Thank you guys
Sorry to ruin the magic, but it takes us a few months to plan, shoot, and edit these. It's been in the works for a while! But it's commenters like you who help us decide what to make. :)
I’ve seen this ending so many times, and every time I see this scene, I flood with tears.
I see this scene whenever something gets in my eye and I can't get it out. Works like a charm. I love this movie so much.
everyday just gets worse, i dont think i can-
*cinema therapy uploads a new video and about LA LA LAND*
,,,I now have a reason to keep going💃
I'm glad you found something to lift your spirits for the day. Sending you warmth and love, stranger. Life will get easier. ❤️
we got this bestie
Please accept some hugs from a random internet mama.
❤❤❤
This episode validates something I say A Lot about my own life: the healthiest relationship I've ever had is not a romantic partnership, it's the relationship I have with my best friend. We're both actors-with-day-jobs, and we love getting to work on shows/festivals/projects together (and have done so loads of times) - but we also LOVE seeing each other win even when we can't share the win.
I coudnt even wipe my tears enough.. You could hear Jonno's crackling when he talks about them going their own separated way.. Tears running down my cheeks...
La La Land helped convince me to move to Southern California, I'll admit it. But it wasnt for Hollywood (I'm not an artist, like, at all) - it was more about the push to pursue my passions, to get out of my own dead end suburban town, to believe that I could suffer and endure my way to success and self actualization.
The romance, while lovely, was always kind of secondary to me as a viewer. Which is probably why I was obsessed with the movie even though all my friends hated it.
Mia was right. I love hearing what other people are passionate about! Good video!
Glad you enjoyed it!
I went to bat for this film after it came out. I was telling everyone and their mother that the ending was correct. I pointed out that in the "fantasy ending" that people wanted, Sebastian never opened Seb's, he never got his dream. And people kept coming back at me with "You make sacrifices for people you love" because people couldn't wrap their heads around the sacrifice being the relationship. As someone who is asexual and aromantic, all I have seen is people being conditioned to want love and a family and that is the greatest achievement in life and anyone who doesn't want that is less than. This movie validated me so much.
Honestly, these days, I feel like society is saying the opposite... "Go for your dreams, your career, your self, no matter who or how many people you lose along the way, and you're less than if you don't"... Especially towards women it seems, where if they DON'T choose themselves, and instead choose someone else, they're weak or cowardly or something...
Then again, I'm over here struggling so much with being really lonely, and also not having a dream in the first place, not finding it early like so many others have...
@@flameflyer42 I didn't find my dream right away either because of the pressures of family society. I thought jobs were just something you did until I entered the work force and realized you didn't have to be miserable in a job. I'm still chasing my dream and I wish the best for you to find yours. 💜
@@flameflyer42People like to say on the surface "follow your dreams and have a career!" but they still expect you to have a family and relationships on top of that
Glad this movie could do that for you. Happy Pride Month!
@@zer0w0lf94 🏳🌈 Happy Pride! 🏳🌈
I watched this movie in cinema on Valentine's day 2017 with my girls, because my then boyfriend told me the day before that he didn't want to spend this day together and instead spend the night at his parents. I had a feeling that he wanted to break up with me already, but the way this movie handled the ending of the relationship was really eye opening. I was bawling in the cinema. Because they did care enough to talk it through, be honest with each other and their dreams. I really liked Jon's analysis of their story and how he explained how you grow from these experiences no matter how gut wrenching they felt at that time. At least for me that became true and I am in a much happier relationship with a better understanding of what I want and how I like to live. Thanks for doing a video on this movie, I forgot how much I loved it ❤
I am so thrilled to have found you both today. I think you are brilliant, vulnerable and just what so many of us need to be able to watch as our “guilty pleasure” really phenomenal content really beautiful work and I hope this is some thing that you both get an incredible amount of joy and energy and passion out of because it is very evident that you love what you do and as a fellow Creator, I just want to say I applaud you.
Hi Peter. I've watched many of your videos over the years. I'm glad you discovered this channel. They sure have much to offer.
I feel like that last look between mia and seb is the MOST intimate moment I've ever seen in a movie. Maybe ever. it's such a magnum opus moment, like. ALL the tiniest, most sublte changes in both of their faces, the held gaze, the score, the lighting, it says EVERYTHING. I bawl every time i see it. it's so so so so intimate. you feel everything, the whole story, all the paths, all the love. and you stay there EXACTLY the right amount of time. on each shot and in total. it is just perfection.
I watched this movie for the first time in preparation for this episode, and I absolutely loved both the movie and this episode.
It definitely made sense for them not to end up together and made for a much more relatable story than many people are willing to admit. Not all relationships work out, but that doesn't mean they are all a waste of time. There is much to be learned from all relationships ❤.
I'm so glad you guys made this episode! Amazing inputs all around 😊.
I love this channel and what you guys do, and I thought the cinema therapy thing was mostly psychologically breaking down our favorite characters. But this is the first time I genuinely feel like the episode was therapeutic for me. I’m only 19 but was blessed enough to spend two years with someone I shared a genuine connection with. And have been floundering for a year trying to figure out where to put my feelings that are still there, but have a different form now. I know this will never be read. But I wanted to say thank you so much. I can’t put into words what this has done for me. And I’ve never even seen the movie.
It was read and you are so welcome :)
This movie brings up so many complex and painful emotions. It was my first introduction to love that doesn't work out in the end because their love for each other causes them to have the other pursue their dreams. The type of love that I have experienced multiple times. It's bittersweet
I was trying to convince some one to watch this channel because it had an impact on me and wanted to share it with others. My friend said, “ I’d probably watch it if they had one with la la land”. Today is the day 🎉
The world needs more stories that celebrate the different kinds of love - so glad you analyzed this one and showed how beautiful their relationship was
One of the reasons I really like the relationship between Harry and Chappie in "Happy, Texas" (1999). Does a great job of showing that just because Harry is not in love with Chappie doesn't mean he doesn't care for him
The tears in my eyes with that ending. Every time.
I was so exited when I saw you were watching La La Land that I stopped everything just to watch this video. I remember going out of the theatre in tears after watching this movie. I loved it, so it was very confusing to me when people started hating it due to its ending, because like you said, it was perfect in my opinion. They loved each other but they weren't on the same path, and like you said, their breakup was beautiful. I hope that after watching this movie people realize that not all relationships have to end up badly and you can still love the people you used to share your life with, even if you don't share much time together or they're not even in your life.
OMG, YOU FINALLY DID ONE ON LA LA LAND!!!! I recently watched the movie for the first time and it's soooo good!!!
This movie was so validating for me. I had a big Romeo and Juliet type love when I was young, basically everything about both our lives meant it wouldn’t be compatible long term. We loved it up. Had a long messy break up. And I grieved but kept living and got married, had kids. I’m so happy with my life now, I wouldn’t leave my husband, but I still have fond memories of that guy and honestly I’ll probably think about him when I’m dying. I’m at peace with where I’m at, but the bittersweet ending of the movie gives me something you don’t often see in movies to relate too.
That last scene is beautifully heartbreaking. Great video, guys!
Thanks so much!
I went through a breakup recently and it still hurts and I guess I didn’t really know how I’ve been feeling through the whole thing, but watching this has in a way helped me articulate my feelings and helped me see that he and I still love each other, it just wasn’t meant to last. But we’re still important to one another, even if we don’t talk, it’s in our looks that we can tell we still love each other and the relationship wasn’t nothing. It helped us grow and be better and although I’m still sad, angry, feeling all the feelings, I at least know that we had something and it’ll always be apart of our lives and we’ll always love each other, even if we’re apart.
it disapoints me that they keep accepting sponsorships for better help knowing how bad of a rep it's got at this point for not actually helping people and just pushing you into the therapist that will get the most amount of sesions out of you, I tought better of you guys
This is the first time I heard of La La Land and after watching this video, I am so wanting to watch it for real! Thank you, Cinema Therapy! You've brought not only a great movie but also a great analysis of this wonderful couple!
i been waiting for this video forever. I havent finish it yet but I already know im going to cry
Just wanted to take the time to say thank you to you two and the other folks at Cinema Therapy. Life for me has never been easy dealing with PTSD and loss since 2014. Finding you guys months ago has really helped me to put some things into perspective and improve my mental state immensely. You've helped not only me, but countless other people over the years, all while being entertaining as hell. I cannot say this enough. Thank you, and keep being awesome.
Thank you for sharing this. We appreciate you!
I think this episode was for Jono. I’m glad for it.
This!
I can’t emphasise enough how much this episode helped me. Possibly right to this moment, I’ve always had a Disney view of love. You fall in love and you end up happily ever after. I went through a horrible breakup when I was young and I haven’t had a relationship since as it was just too painful. Thank you for this episode, it’s really helped me ☺️
I watched this film in theatre before I ever landed my first internship at LA, and then in the coming years, I finished my studies in Amsterdam, Sheffield, London, and fell in love for the first time as an adult. Exactly 2 years ago we broke up, I switched gears, went to LA one more time to study film; and now I work in film. Watching this again broke me into tears. We didn't break up nicely, nor did we break up because one of us has to pursue our dreams. She just needed to become herself, and I accepted that. I guess this film resonates more now that I have more lived experience in love, life, separation, and pain. 2017 - 2024, Look how far I've come.
My favourite thing I’ve heard about relationships is something along the lines of “Look at how hard and how deeply you loved the wrong person. Imagine how beautiful it will be when you love the right person.” It validates that you truly were in love, even if the relationship was bad. And it’s encouraging and hopeful for the future. Love itself can never be wrong.
What I don't get is why they had to break up. Mia was going to Paris to film ONE movie. They couldn't have been long distance for 6 months? Seb couldn't have come with her and checked out the music scene over there? It really doesn't make sense that they had to "let each other go" to me.
I get that they 'had to' for narrative purposes but the script was unconvincing and needed a little more work in my opinion.
That's what a couple of people told me so..
That's why Sebastian said "guess we're gonna have to wait and see." He didn't want to get back together immediately because she was going to Paris: immediately starting long distance when they're both going to really focus on their careers is incredibly difficult.
@@zerocooltakeover9382 long distance could have been to call each other from time to time, they could focus on it more later. I guess the movie sacrificed some logic for a "realistic" ending.
La La Land will always be one of my favorites. This movie came to my ex and I when we really needed it to help guide us through the difficult decision of breaking up after 5 years. Thank you Jono and Alan for discussing this masterpiece. Love hearing your insights.
I’m always going to love you💜
I remember watching this movie with my boyfriend in high school. It was one of our first movies we ever watched together and I remember we both cried and had the best conversation that really set us both up for success (as a couple and individually) and now we have celebrated 5 years together because of this film. Such a classic and we will always watch it again and again to remind ourselves of all the emotions and discover new lessons with the film as our relationship grows ☺️
One of the BEST things about this movie is the ending scene of what could’ve been. In a perfect ideal world… where there was no rejection, pride, hurt, anger (and we didn’t let these feelings get projected onto others) this love would be so easy. However, we aren’t perfect beings and not everything will be ideal. They could’ve become a toxic relationship, or sacrifice their dreams to be with each other and make a relationship work. Instead they truly wanted what was best for each other, even if that meant not being together, and that is love. They chose to always have that love. Its so refreshing than the typical Hollywood girl meets guy… and they end up together against all odds. This seems much more real.. and they still end happy. It’s just the best writing.
You probably have no idea, how much this movie and this episode of CT matter to me. I'm literally crying of awe, and that's because you've helped me to understand, right now, something profoundly important to me simply as a loving human being, sometimes getting lost in all the complexity of live.
Cinema Therapy, both you gentlemen and all the show's crew, there are no other words in the world except these to express how I feel right now:
I love you and thank you that you are, with all my heart. 💗
When this movie came out, I hadn’t experienced what it was like for love to not be enough. A couple years ago, I met the only person I’ve ever wanted to marry. He ended up moving across the country, albeit we had initially planned on moving together. All we had was immense love for each other, and wow did that turn ugly. You don’t understand that love isn’t enough until you’ve lived it. I’ve been single since then, and I’ll always love him and miss him, but it’s a necessary lesson you can’t forget even if you’d like too. It’s the difference between being a child and an adult. Innocence is meant for the young so they can dream as broadly as they can, experience is for adults as we curate our lives based on nuanced desires.
When I first saw this movie I just sobbed and sobbed. I had a very complicated few years. I had had a boyfriend and we loved each other but he left for a few years and I told him i thought I would date other people since he was my first love, a high school sweetheart and I needed to date other people while he was away to make sure he was the one. Well, the i found this other amazing guy and was in a beautiful relationship with him. I adored him and we were so great together. I loved him so much. But as i thiught about the future and prayed I knew that there was someone else out there for him and I was meant to be with my first boyfriend. It was absolutely heartbreaking for me because what I wanted and what I knew needed to happen were at odds. I saw this movie a few years after marrying my high school sweetheart and it took me back and I imagined what could have been and that it would have also been a beautiful life but different than it was "supposed" to be.
@25:10 crying my heart out at their stare and so glad to see it cuts to Alan crying too 😂❤ and I’m not the only one crying bc that scene is beautiful and so emotional for me
La La Land is such a beautiful movie and i just love the way its shot. The colors in every scene are also a part of the story and help set the mood
It's a masterpiece. And the music is brilliant. I never listened to a complete movie soundtrack so often. ❤
Here's to everyone, as myself, who cries watching this movie every. Single. Time. Gosh, my eyes are wet just from watching this video and they barely showed the full montage at the end...
As you guys said, an absolute masterpiece!
I remember watching La La Land for the first and hating the montage bit. The exact words going through my head were "Hang on, I believed everything that happened up to this point, why are we undoing that?" But then it ended and then was like, "oh, its a fantasy. This is good." Great ending.
Needed this video. I was in such a bad place the other day, but this brought me some comfort and joy ❤ Keep on being you
We hope you're doing better 🫂
I really love this movie including the bittersweet ending. Can you guys do a movie couples therapy video on Christian and Satine from Moulin Rouge? Please 🙏
I really enjoy the way this duo invites us to look at movies from another perspective. One of my favorite things about this channel is that there is such wisdom and insight in Jono's therapist's perspective
The editors always do an incredible job, but the intro to this episode was extraordinarily awesome although it might also be because they had extraordinary material work with.
Respectfully, I disagree with many of the sentiments in this review, but I am still glad to have heard them.
I can’t wait. I’ve been waiting for this one!!!
Everybody crying here with Jono and Alan. Thank you guys, I love these moments of rewatching loved films with you and all your great knowledge. Hugs from Spain.
Thanks for doing this one. I had a hard time with their breaking up because the chemistry of these two is always amazing. Thank you for the different perspective!
FINALLY! I was WAITING for this one!!
SO GLAD YOU FINALLY DID THIS MOVIE
I've been so desperately praying for you guys to do la la land for months, I would always say I wanted you guys to do la la land (to myself, since I wouldn't bother making a comment)
I've been wanting it so so bad.
I only woke a little bit ago, but I opened up TH-cam on my TV and saw the left half of the video, and at first I thought it was just a normal clip or whatever, but then my jaw went agape when I saw the cinema therapy writing. And I swiped away from the video to give me time to do what I was doing at the moment before checking if I was going crazy. But my heart was pounding at the thought that you guys may have done the movie. And when I finally checked and saw that it was indeed a couples therapy by you guys, tears were immediately sent to my eyes. I just started crying because I love this movie so much and Ive been hoping so bad that you guys would do this, and I am so happy you did.
I love this movie with my whole heart, it's my number one movie. And I get so happy when I suddenly hear it or see it somewhere without searching for it, because I don't see it often unless I do search for it. So seeing you guys have this movie up, it made me so so happy.
Thank you guys for bringing me such joy to stay the day with💗
This movie came out at a time when I was going through a devastating break-up and when I tell you that this movie broke me, I mean it BrOkE mE. I remember sobbing after I watched it- it was such a great channel for the grief I was feeling at the time over a relationship that was never going to last but had so much love behind it. Truly a movie i will appreciate for the rest of my life
Okay but also the crossover that got me that at least for me it will always be canon is: Tom Everett Scott is the jazz drummer from “that thing you do” film with Tom Hanks 1996. So I think her love of jazz because of Sebastian led her to enjoy jazz in France meets jazz drummer and continues on her love of jazz. Love that they(Mia and Sebastian ) don’t end up together
THE UNNAMED HUSBAND IS TOM EVERETT SCOTT??? I can't believe I never noticed!! I adore this take, thank you for opening my eyes.
hi guys ! love this video :) Also I would like to politely request a film that is really important for me. It's Lady bird and I think it's the perfect depiction of a conflictual mother-daughter relationship and I don't think that you have ever talk about this matter. It could be really interesting and I would loooove that
Thank you guys so much for finally getting around to La La Land! I'm glad you did this movie justice and perfectly explained why the whole movie is so beautiful. I feel like I have a unique perspective on this movie since my first girlfriend's name is Mia and I've played piano for 15 years (yes, I am literally Ryan Gosling in this case). I went into this movie blind 2 months after the breakup, and it marked the start of my healing process. I found a lot of the plot relatable to the things I went through in my first relationship, and I found the ending beautiful and meaningful. This movie showed me that not all love stories end up with the couple together, but that I can still find fulfillment in knowing I helped the other person become a better human.
I absolutely loved the ending scene. I love that they gave us the expected stereotypical ending….I loved all of these little nods to old Hollywood movies…I loved the clothes in the montage, I loved all of the reprises of the other songs from the film, I absolutely just loved it. It’s such a beautiful, different ending from most movies. I loved it. It made me cry but mainly because it was so lovely. They have their looks that they give each other and it perfectly sums up them. Like…they didn’t end up together but they still have their dreams and they helped each other find their dreams. I absolutely loved it
Favorite movie of all time, favorite analysis channel, perfect start to the day
real
I wish I could be in LaLa Land with Alan and Jonathan
I have been waiting for this episode for soooo looooong. Thank you so much for doing it!! You guys are awesome.
Our pleasure! Thanks for watching!
This video comes extremely timely to me. I'm experiencing something similar but with my friends (yep, all of my closest ones). All of them are moving away in some time between 1 month or 1 year, but they're leaving because they want to pursue their careers. I've expressed very openly to them how extremely saddening that is to me, because even if we're going to keep in contact it's going to hurt a lot not to have them here with me, but i would never EVER try to stop them or get mad at them. I'm struggling with fear of abandonment because like i said, it's all of them leaving and me ending up quite lonely here, but the only thing I can do is support them. I do not only consider them my friends, they're my second family. This video felt like a hug to my soul guys, thank you so, so very much 💗
That is so hard, I love* your approach to dealing with it though. With people moving, after some years, sometimes many of you end up living in the same general area again ❤ so keeping things thoughtful and connected when you all can is wonderful cause you never know where you or they will end up.
Well, if you want more Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone as a couple there is also a movie "Crazy, Stupid, Love"
This came out as i am going thru something similar.
So i really appreciate the words you guys put together and helping me to see a side of my own life thru this.
FINALLYYY!!!! you guys did a video of la la land, I was waiting for it since it broke my heart
BETTER HELP WAS LITERALLY SUED FOR SELLING ANSWERS TO PRIVATE HEALTH QUESTIONS TO COMPANIES, STOP PROMOTING THEM!
You guys are shills at this point, how many people need to ask you to open your eyes to this crap? Done with trying to turn a blind eye to your continuous support of their platform, even with a therapist onboard!
Jonathan here. We've read everyone's questions and concerns and shared in them ourselves. The short version is that we've done months of research on this and in our opinion concerns with BetterHelp have either been misinformation or legitimate issues that BetterHelp has corrected. I'll be sharing what I've found, with multiple sources, very soon. In the meantime, BetterHelp's own page sums things up well: www.betterhelp.com/your-questions-answered/
P.S. Yes, this is a copy-and-paste response so I don't have to repeat myself or reword things needlessly. Doesn't make it less true or sincere. :) - Jonathan
Growing up is realizing what a fabulous ending La La land had and loving it 😂
As a kid when I first watched it I didn’t like it. But now that I’m older and want to pursue writing and story telling and maybe screen writing- this inspires me. I love a story that feels real with unrealistic elements to help pull it along like musical numbers 😂 ❤❤❤ loved this movie
This movie made me cry so hard and it still does every time I watch it!! Also a recommendation for you is the HK movie called "Mama's Affair" - it's in Cantonese but has alright English subs. You mention here about how he pushes her to go for her dream while he stays bc if either of them gave up their dream for the relationship they would resent it - Mama's Affair has a relationship that mirrors that in which one person gave up their dream job for the other and resentment builds up bc of it, but at the same time, one of the other main characters might not exist if it weren't for that. Concurrently, there's a mother-son relationship, two other father-son relationships and a complicated I'm-living-in-your-house-with-you-and-your-mom-and-work-alongside-her-so-I-technically-see-her-more-than-you-but-I-still-want-to-get-along-with-you situation...
Came back to rewatch the video again and make another 2 suggestions! "The Wind Rises", is an anime movie that some people dislike for its slightly slower pace, but it really takes its time to explore the life of the main character as he chases his dream and a love story from beginning to end. This couple delighted me because they just seemed to fit so well together, they found enjoyment in each other's company, gave support in difficult times and had this beautiful quiet understanding. Also, I really recommend you check out Maquia: Where the Promised Flower Blooms!
Really? *still* shilling for BetterHelp? I get you need sponsors, but BetterHelp is a scam. Jonathon really should know better.
Jonathan here. We've read everyone's questions and concerns and shared in them ourselves. The short version is that we've done months of research on this and in our opinion concerns with BetterHelp have either been misinformation or legitimate issues that BetterHelp has corrected. I'll be sharing what I've found, with multiple sources, very soon. In the meantime, BetterHelp's own page sums things up well: www.betterhelp.com/your-questions-answered/
P.S. Yes, this is a copy-and-paste response so I don't have to repeat myself or reword things needlessly. Doesn't make it less true or sincere. :) - Jonathan
@@CinemaTherapyShow Nah, what makes it less true is that it is from Betterhelp itself. You should know about bias in sources. Let's just ignore the fact that Betterhelp was the target of an FTC investigation and found guilty and FORCED into compliance. It would be one thing if they openly admitted that they did wrong and worked on changing it, but they didn't. They are being forced into compliance by the government.
I’ve been waiting a video on this movie forever!! Thank you :-)
Just want to thank you guys. I don't know how to truly reimburse you and the crew for helping me come to realizations that I had always tip toed around but could never quite put together. You are appreciated.
I cried so much with this. This movie felt like something I went through some time ago. Seeing my favourite movie being analysed by my favourite youtube channel while re-living a part of my experience... it broke me, but in a beautiful way.
Thank you for this ❤
You're very welcome ❤️
This makes me really want your take on Fleabag - Season 2! Or both seasons leading up to THAT final scene. Such a phenomenal show and so much for therapists to analyze!