Top Gear German WW2 Jokes

Satnav that only goes to Poland

[@mikedawolf95]

-Never ask a woman her age
-Never ask a man his salary
-Never ask a German company what they did between 1933-1945

[@SurvivebritanicII]

Never ask any German about those years

[@top_banananaplays]

Don't mention ze war!

[@Special_Agent_Frank_Horrigan]

They made artillery ammunition

[@gooddypm]

@@top_banananaplaysI mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it. 🤕

[@CZghost]

@@gooddypm With just a bruise I suppose, right? :D

[@TheAtlantaRailfan]

"take the third Reich" has me dying with laughter

[@AnthonyParrilloRI]

Same here hahaha

[@Broken-A08]

She's essentially saying," you have gave me the child now get in the back."

[@F1_Gianni_96]

Me to

[@mooneyes2k478]

The golden part of it is Hammond's "...ow!"

[@sovetski8893]

Dude me too 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jamesgroccia644]

“It’s got too much power, they’ve overdone it.
Like when they went on their French holiday, 1939”

[@romainsavioz5466]

James the Queen is German but you don't sing deutschland deutschland uber allies any time she comes on the television do you

[@adambros5572]

@@romainsavioz5466 yh I do actually
Hammond: he does

[@ph89787]

@@romainsavioz5466 then the Japanese decided to gate crash the US’s Christmas holiday in Hawaii.

[@brandonturner8302]

What episode was that one?

[@dogsbd]

I can't believe May got that wrong, it was 1940.

[@jdapaul1351]

Jeremy's VW Scirocco ad should've been here. "Berlin to Warsaw in one tank."

[@reshmapatel325]

Jeremy does the best German accent better than a German. Jeremy is great with accents

[@S500-]

Yes you Right, By the way Where you Live Im Just Curious ?

[@Arsenic71]

Being German I can do ze German accent as well, but yes, Jeremy just does it so well with the mixture of German words with accent and English - it's just the perfect mix. I could probably do something similar but then again, I've lived in the UK for over a decade so I know both sides.

[@lyonvensa]

There's one more in that episode where the Top Gear team competes with a group of German motorists where Jeremy said along the lines of "They want us to find a place to do the competition, and I suggested the skies above the English channel"

[@wjmcd703]

He actually said that he suggested the skies over southern England

[@aerogfs]

They came prepared with Spitfires...

[@dougearnest7590]

That could work - if they brought in some Polish ringers.

[@agent1018]

IN THE SKIES ABOVE THE ISLE, ACES IN EXHILE PREVAIL

[@wjmcd703]

I love that Jeremy denies calling bus drivers nazis, when it sounds like something he would say

[@anonymouswhite352]

Well he didn't

[@BeKindToBirds]

I am dying over the correction lmao

[@lyonvensa]

Pretty sure it's James that actually said that during the Cross London race lol

[@peterrraklliproductions2020]

Well, he didn’t. He said they were little Hitlers and murderers!

[@lolickypeepee23xdd6]

it is but i dont recall if he ever directly said it- now, he did commonly call them murderers/hitlers for obvious reasons

[@applejuice5272]

"You're not being filmed, so you can have a joint."

[@johnnyrats7083]

A sat nav that only goes to Poland is legendary

[@hydro9634]

that's hilarious I don't get what he said after that tho because the accent was that good

[@shugo541]

@@hydro9634a fine fanbelt that will last a thousand years

[@hydro9634]

@@shugo541 I get that because Hitler said that he would have an a thousand year reich that's brilliant

[@Old-Bald-and-Grumpy]

There was another good one with Jezza making VW Polo advert: To Warsaw in one tank!

[@grdimajmun]

"Little Hitlers and murderers" I'm dying!!!!!

[@melchiorvonsternberg844]

Ever ride on a bus in Portugal? You're literally wearing your shroud...

[@sirajalden4453]

"engineered by a man called ulrich eichhorb" always gets me, even after all these years

[@leifvejby8023]

It is actually Eichhorn.

[@ligmatranslationsphere]

I thought it was "Eichhorch"

[@Arsenic71]

I am German and I find the trios' Germany jokes totally hilarious and extremely funny. Why would I feel offended? Instead I'm happy they mention my country at all and they do it in a truly (and innocent) way.

[@FairyRat]

Your country's past truly is something. But at least its present ain't as shit as mine's (Russia...).

[@iiskull5354]

The fact he does the salute while wearing a poppy

[@lzh4950]

Poppy? The Chinese: _Flashbacks to The Opium War_

[@brendanmatelan2129]

“A Sat Nav that only goes to Poland. WOAHHH!” My favorite joke!

[@gg2324]

There is also the roadworks episode (series 8 or 9) when may shouts "work sets you free" through a megaphone to clarkson when he was napping

[@UbiMortus]

Ahh, the days when you could have such humor on the TV are long gone... What? it's only been like 10 years?

[@jonnnyren6245]

Oh come on we all know the story of how Viscount May of Hammersmith and 55 RAF or the Hammersmith Cockerspaniels assisted the Duke of Hammond during the North Africa campaign of 1943!
They both ended up defeating the Commander of the Gorilla Regiment in El Alamein and he retreated back to Stuttgart to rearm.
In 1944 the Viscount had a rematch with Reichsmarschall von Clarkson and he shot him down over Calais during the D-Day landings.
The Viscount May won the Victoria Cross for getting 6 enemy kills with a damaged wing and managed to return home.

[@peterrraklliproductions2020]

Before North Africa, the Viscount May was going to lead “Operation Pillock,”where a bunch of Lancaster Bombers would bomb the Nurburgring. But, unfortunately, the plan was shelved and the Viscount May was sent to North Africa.

[@cpresuttis]

The fan belts will last for a thousand years lol

[@a.jlewissonicski5278]

Hammond: Jeremy didn’t you recently call bus drivers Nazis!

[@SUS-zm2pn]

In britain they are

[@simonkevnorris]

The French Holiday started in May 1940 when the landed forces went through Sedan (again, like 1870) sneakily by-passing the Maginot Line.

[@MuricaFkYeah]

The one with the hand turn signals and the 6x6 car one had me dying! 🤣

[@ultrajd]

Back when Top Gear mattered

[@B-A-L]

When Top Gear was funny.

[@MTLoveridge]

1:34 Hammond's face after that

[@dogsbd]

Because Hammond, being smarter than he acts, knew that May had messed up since Germany had actually invaded France in 1940. ;)

[@andrerenault]

I feel like this should’ve been much longer than 2 minutes

[@markcf83]

I agree. It could have been two hours......

[@leifvejby8023]

Maybe they just collected the nicest of the jokes

[@mundee95]

Way back, before the Twitter nation attacked

[@cheapautomobilityproductio745]

Oh god please, I hate those feminist fokks...

[@palpatinethesenatehog7086]

Twitter, you will never find a more wretched hive of scam and villainy.

[@cheapautomobilityproductio745]

Twitter, the place where everyone's hated except "celebrities"

[@stunseedordeesnuts]

@@cheapautomobilityproductio745 oh "celebrities" do definitely get hated on there

[@jameswalker199]

"You can't make jokes like that you'll offend someone!"
What? Like Grandpa Adi from Argentina? Last time I checked we were all quite happy about mocking actual Nazis.

[@Thegrimreaper4lyfe]

A SatNav that only goes to Poland 😂😂

[@tavish4699]

ze germans will hear about zis!

[@bobmcgod5214]

F***ing hilarious😂😂😂😂
Top Gear is such a banger.
I'm British, my satnav only goes to small islands....

[@Alex_K221]

I’m American and my sat nav only goes to places with Oil. Dreadfully inconvenient.

[@emiliospowerballer1441]

Australia and Africa are not small islands okay?

[@bobmcgod5214]

@@emiliospowerballer1441 🤦‍♂️ The point was places like Cayman, Virgin Islands, Falklands, South Georgia etc. Joke over the head....

[@emiliospowerballer1441]

@@bobmcgod5214 I understood the joke m8 don't worry, my country fits that description as well ...

[@bobmcgod5214]

@@emiliospowerballer1441 ok, sorry

[@michaelwoolaver6113]

And now for the 2024 British Leyland line.

[@nodafy]

0:27
Some say that guy behind James is still smiling to this day

[@richardgadberry8398]

"When in doubt, use the War."--Clarksonius.

[@DasMonke]

0:28 why is that guy frozen in the back 😂

[@thagerman8361]

Legendär.

[@der_pinguin44]

Stimmt.

[@craigo7235]

love it, keep it up!

[@anthonystorey2953]

Fiddle de de ,in the words of Basil Fawlty " you started it " 😂

[@kelvin8369]

They always get me, never get old 🤣

[@JesseThomson-zb9nl]

Hammond likes the Porsche 911 but I prefer the Porsche tiger

[@arrozal5717]

I am german and i approve this

[@Thule21]

"... they overdone it, as usual. What they did on their _french holiday in 1939._"
I can't....🤣🤣🤣

[@goblin7404]

0:43

[@scuffediceposeidon9178]

James May's Overdone sums up pretty accurate German and non German engineering nowadays. All that electric crap with 800hp with 300mph of range and the sound of an elevator

[@ultimategmoneyremaber1821]

The queen is German

[@applejuice5272]

Not any more

[@taffingtonboathouse5754]

Rip liz

[@swaticamecho698]

*was

[@melchiorvonsternberg844]

Well... In fact, with the death of the queen, leaderership of the German royal house of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha ended. But since the line is always passed on from the male side, thanks to Prince Philip, the German house of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg is now the princely line that continues to lead England. And that for at least the next 3 kings. Just as Queen Victoria always wanted...

[@nightlight1709]

Classic Top Gear (Jeremy James and Richard) is the best Show in all of television history

[@georgemitchell9696]

British humor is unique.

[@EAcapuccino]

Lol - Favourite jokes
This really is Black comedy for you 🤣
0:03
0:38
01:00

[@JustDevon1]

“Take the Third Reich” Has to be the funniest shit that has ever been said on the show

[@stranger299a]

0:28 Nobody mentions the creepy guy to James's right

[@IdentityCrisis101-pop]

Jeremy: James the queen is German, but you don't sing Deutschland Deutschland Über alles everytime she comes on television, do you?
James: I do..

[@stephenhowell5611]

All the european royals are related, Lizzies line went back to Eleanor of Aquitaine, Richard I the Lionhearts mum.

[@dannyjay4213]

The french holiday was in 1940

[@philsimpson3556]

Absolutely side splitting. They wouldn't be allowed to joke like that today. Such a shame.

[@shevetlevi2821]

Sometimes they actually sound like Monty Python.

[@gedhoughton9523]

Cooler 8 veeks…

[@kennethr2525]

How did James may get year of the german french holiday wrong 1940

[@melchiorvonsternberg844]

To be fair... The frogs tried to have a good time in Germany in 1939. But they stopped, a few miles behind the borders and left after a while, without partyin'. So we had to make a visit to them, a year later. Remember... We didn't finish the tour of 1914... And there was a need for a 2nd leg...

[@zehnerdygamer3329]

MSU fan checking in

[@TheDeathMedic]

Based

[@miesepeter1371]

That's why I like the British humour. Greeting from Gerrrrmany.

[@greypilgrim9967]

I missTop Gear

[@nicoc6387]

Laugh? I almost did.

[@SF-pq3sq]

So wrong bu very right😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@GoodMornin2234]

and people say germans are not funny💀

[@INTERVC-n3r]

My boy went from a normal Host to a Guy that Is making Penguin signals

[@rexbarron4873]

It wsa amusing then but now that we are an isolated little island going broke it's not so funny.

[@the_real_inquisitor]

That shit is funny xD

[@danieldravot341]

When you take your hands off the wheel of a German car it heads a for the French border.

[@EATSLEEPDRIVE2002]

Some people probably will
Nazi the humor in this

[@paulcowlishaw]

So sick.

[@bartsolari5035]

try Stalin for size

[@ChrisSmith74627]

Back when humour was legal and not destroyed by the morality police

[@automation7295]

Humour is still legal, just idiots and fucking woke motherfuckers rained them.

[@libertyvilleguy2903]

This is a perfect example of why the British version of Top Gear was exceptional, and the American version stunk (I’m American, by the way). This kind of clever, funny humor would have never been acceptable to an American audience, let alone an American production company.

[@shankarbalakrishnan2360]

❤❤🎉🎉

[@elgris453]

Never ask a woman her age.
A man his salary.
An Argentinian his SS rank

[@der_pinguin44]

Deutschland, Deutschland über alles

[@miesepeter1371]

Von Hoffmann von Fallersleben. Es war eine Aufforderung, die da noch vorhandene Kleinstaaterei zu überwinden und entlich einen Nationalstaat zu gründen.

[@ronaldvandermerwe4957]

Hitler's car 0:56

[@AzlanAhmed-ts5il]

Ulrich eichhorb 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@prophetsnake]

What, no famine jokes? Tch tch.

[@apocalypsedude995]

1940

[@alexchrisontour720]

Not allowed in Germany.

[@frankstippel5988]

Sis iss nod funny.

[@jameswalker199]

Why is it we aren't allowed to make jokes like this anymore? Are we really worried about making fun of actual Nazis? Are we worried we'll offend Opa Adi in Argentina?

[@dougearnest7590]

No, the problem with making jokes about fascists/Nazis/Hitler is not because you'll offend fascists. On the contrary, that would normally be encouraged, but the problem is you might say a word that would trigger a sensitive leftist useful idiot.
Meanwhile, you're still not allowed to say bad things about Stalin. Or the Japanese.

[@melchiorvonsternberg844]

You have no idea, how German comedians, make fun of Hitler. And that is, why these Tommy- jokes are borin' as fuck...

[@man_vs_life]

Wow, so staged.

[@palpatinethesenatehog7086]

Okay, now you're giving me reasons not to watch this show? Make up your mind, please.

[@dopaminecloud]

war joke bad?

[@palpatinethesenatehog7086]

@@dopaminecloud yes

[@sumokaru]

@@palpatinethesenatehog7086 this is a reason to watch it, its funny

[@palpatinethesenatehog7086]

@@sumokaru not to me

[@sumokaru]

@@palpatinethesenatehog7086 how

[@EventHorizonPrdctns]

Dude.
British humor is fucking bizarre.
🙄😒😒😒😒😒

[@hammer-r]

Funny stuff especially when the car industry in England is nothing. Lol

[@DavidSmith-fe2ws]

Pure English school boy crap