How Long Does No Contact Take To Work On My Ex?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ก.ค. 2024
- How Long Does No Contact Take to Work?
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Video: Stages An Ex Goes Through In No Contact at • Stages Ex Goes Through...
Breakups are often painful and emotionally challenging experiences. After the dust has settled, many people find themselves contemplating the effectiveness of "no contact" as a strategy to heal and potentially rekindle a relationship.
In this video entitled "How long does no contact take to work?" Coach Lee explores the intricate dynamics of this approach and how long it will likely take to work.
Coach Lee argues that the time it takes for no contact to yield results is contingent on various factors that influence the other person's feelings, attitudes, and circumstances.
In this video, we'll delve into these factors and provide a comprehensive analysis of Coach Lee's insights.
1. The Depth of Loss They Feel
One of the critical factors in determining how long it takes for no contact to work is the depth of loss the other person feels due to your absence.
People react differently to breakups; some may experience profound grief and sadness, while others may initially feel relief or indifference (Stage 1).
The intensity of their emotional response will significantly affect the time it takes for them to reconsider their feelings and the relationship.
If your absence creates a substantial void in their life and they genuinely miss your presence, the process of them realizing what they've lost and potentially wanting to reconnect may occur more swiftly.
Conversely, if they didn't feel deeply connected or attached in the months before the breakup, it may take longer for them to recognize the value of the relationship.
2. The Stage They Were in at the Breakup
Another crucial factor is the stage at which the other person was in when the breakup occurred.
Coach Lee discusses the concept of "repulsion," suggesting that if they were in a stage where they were repelled by the response to the breakup, it would likely take longer for no contact to work.
In relationships, various phases can be characterized by attraction, attachment, disillusionment, and detachment.
If the breakup occurred during a stage of detachment or disillusionment, it may take longer for the person to reevaluate their feelings. However, if the relationship ended during a more positive stage, such as attachment or attraction, there may be a greater chance of quicker reconciliation.
3. The Availability of Alternative Options
If they lack alternative options for romantic partners and the void left by your absence becomes more pronounced, they may be more motivated to revisit the possibility of rekindling the relationship.
The availability of alternatives can significantly shape their willingness to engage with the process of reconciliation.
4. Influential People in Their Life
Coach Lee also highlights the role of external influences in determining how long it takes for no contact to work. The people who surround the other person can have a profound impact on their decision-making process. Friends and family can either encourage them to move on and enjoy single life or advocate for reconciliation.
If they have numerous friends encouraging them to stay broken up, it will likely take longer for them to realize what they had with you.
If the other person's friends, for instance, are all single, they may be more inclined to push the person towards embracing their newfound freedom.
On the contrary, if their close circle values committed relationships, they may encourage the person to reconsider the breakup and reach out to you.
5. Their Ego
Ego is a powerful element that plays a significant role in the aftermath of a breakup.
Some individuals may struggle with their ego and be hesitant to make the first move or admit their feelings, even if they miss the relationship. Their ego can act as a barrier to initiating contact or pursuing reconciliation.
If the other person's ego is preventing them from reaching out, it can prolong the time it takes for no contact to work.
6. How They Viewed the Relationship
Finally, Coach Lee discusses how the other person might have viewed the relationship before and after the breakup.
The way they perceive the relationship's value and significance can have a considerable impact on how long no contact takes to work.
If they had a positive and cherished view of the relationship, it's more likely that they'll contemplate reconciliation sooner. Conversely, if they believed the relationship was flawed or unsatisfying, it may take more time for them to reassess their stance.
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Just gonna leave this here, NO CONTACT DOES WORK!! GO SILENT!!! FALL OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH! It will drive them crazy my ex contacted me after 28 days and said “I actually thought you moved on I can’t believe you didn’t call me for that long” trust in yourself it does happen!!
You take them back?
@@alphablaqog I’m not saying no and I’m not saying yes but I am very reserved still, I didn’t want the break up she did. So in that regard I think she should have to work a little bit if she wants to get back together either way no contact helped me be okay by myself and while I still care about her I will not lose focus on bettering myself if that’s with her or not.
I hoping
I’m at this stage now, today my ex will have a difficult day our daughter leaves her, we shall see what happens. Problem is after my ex left me I wanted her back so bad, now I’ve changed my ways of thinking, she would have to beg me to take her back and I may not even want her back then. Hours of talking would have to be done. So it’s a matter of watch this space.
Did you block them?
Remember Friends.
If they don’t want you.
Walk away n let them go.
No contact is forever- meaning you don’t contact them ever.
It is up to them to contact you….
Stay strong and live your best life…..
They lost out …
@ageofprogressive2248 Elevate your life and improve for the next
You right 💯
It's painful at the beginning, but the moment she/he comes back...you don't want them anymore.
Maybe. Regardless it's the best way forward. Sometimes people get back together for the better
Been in no contact for over 6 months. She has someone new. I’m glad for her. I deserve someone better anyway. One day I’ll find that person
You will my friend
Must still hurt but you definitely will get someone who you deserve
No contact does work. It took 3.5 months and he contacted me. It was when I was truly happy again and didn’t care anymore if I would ever hear from him. We are just chatting right now and it feels like there is a shift in the dynamic. Thank you Lee! I watched many of the videos in the beginning, it was a hard time.
Update??
90 days nc so far…
just finished watching EVERY video of coach Lee on his channel 👀 which has kept me strong in nc. I never thought I’d be able to do nc for this long. It took 4 months of feeling depressed but now I’m back on cloud 9. Yes missing them but enjoying life again 😊
There are so many doctors out there but a good friend of mine, recommended me to Dr. OMEN who is a great spell-caster and he helped me with the love spell and it worked within a few hours My ex called to apologize and wanted us to continue the relationship again
She came back?
Did she come back or move on?
COM
@@mjg4529dude just gave me anxiety all over again lol. It’s been 4 days for me and I’m just hoping I didn’t push to hard at the beginning
It's been over 3 months and I haven't heard a word, but I realize it's not my move.
It WORKS! 6 weeks and she unblocked and messaged me “I fucked up” “i miss you” “Can we please talk” word for word. It was hard but stay strong do not reach out by anymeans and let her have what she wanted. Thanks coach lee :)
Terrific news! I’m happy for you. But I also have to warn you to let things build back slowly and let her feel like she has to earn you back over a little bit of time. That’s important so that her feelings don’t fade.
She's watching my insta stories should I stop uploading them? And be silent on social media.
Were you using any other good strategies besides no contact?
@@andrecavalier2046 I just don't wanna loose my dignity
@@procommonsense4114 No dont stop but dont overpost just to post. Make them genuine and show that your living your life without her
Day 52 of no contact and I feel great! We dated for seven months and then he suddenly dumped me over a text and stopped replying to my messages. For the first three weeks, I struggled to get closure, but I focused on myself, picked up old hobbies, started exercising more and now I don't miss him anymore. Maybe he contacts me, maybe he won't, but at least I am feeling good again. Stay strong everyone!
2 months for me as well. In those 2 months i met celebrities, went to over 100 plus concerts, traveled all over, been to races, shows all kinds of stuff that has drastically changed my life and made me see my worth. 3 plus months so shorter but i treated her better than anyone else. She broke up over text. I said ok i wish you the best, ill miss ya etc and that was the last time i ever reached out. She kept me added on social media which is weird. But whatevs im loving life and have had so many things go for me
You know you're good when you quit counting. 😊
There are so many doctors out there but a good friend of mine, recommended me to Dr. OMEN who is a great spell-caster and he helped me with the love spell and it worked within a few hours My ex called to apologize and wanted us to continue the relationship again..
Just move on
Good for you I was just blind sided after 4 months. It was the best relationship I ever was in. The weekend before we were talking about a together.
Let’s just all take a moment for coach lee helping everyone and taking time out of HIS day to comfort others and give hope love ya man!
There are so many doctors out there but a good friend of mine, recommended me to Dr. OMEN who is a great spell-caster and he helped me with the love spell and it worked within a few hours My ex called to apologize and wanted us to continue the relationship again
She came back after 5 months. We have been together 8 years, have two young children. Had a nasty argument and separated. Coach Lee I just want to thank you for the work you do here. You provided sanity when my own brain was working against me. Guys remember anything is possible even if it looks bleak.
That's amazing to see! You had kids together which I'm assuming helped to a degree. My ex and I were together for 5 years.
I'm happy for you. Don't take it for granted and set healthy boundaries for your future. Communication skills are a must. Good Luck in your reunion
So in no contact you never reach out to them? You wait Untile they reach out?
There are so many doctors out there but a good friend of mine, recommended me to Dr. OMEN who is a great spell-caster and he helped me with the love spell and it worked within a few hours My ex called to apologize and wanted us to continue the relationship again..
Do you text her or does she text you?
@@don4717 will be together again, love is very sweet. I will leave Dr. Oman email address below this comment.
Trust in the process. Me and my x were separated for 6 months. I got the emergency breakup kit and followed the instructions. I went beyond no contact and went radio silent. She posted many things and songs but I stuck to no contact until she messaged me like coach Lee said. And everything happened exactly as he said. Thank you coach Lee
I'm past 6 months. It's a wrap.😊
@@fr33fall777 you never know… just stick to your guns and live rent free in her head
You think buying the kit is a better option than booking a call with the one of the coaches on the team? I am considering the kit lately.
what’s in the emergency break up kit
did you also not post storys? I am on no contact for 14 days. Before I posted storys about every 3,4 days. Nor I only posted one time and he watched it. me on the other hand, did not watch his story (he never posts. in the 4.5 years we‘ve been together he did post 2 storys. but yesterday after 13 days NC he did post one). I did not watch. but should I also stop posting?
6 days ago he came back, afther 7 and a half months.
He tried already 3 months ago but i knew it was a breadcrumming ...
I knew he had 2 go through it.
Right now we talk we laugh we understand each other and we tell what we did wrong without being judgemental.
Trust the proces, believe in yourself.
Work hard and you become the person who you want 2 be and they want 2 be with you ❤
Thank you Lee you helped me so so much ❤❤❤
Any update?
If they make you an option,
make them your history.
i got dumped, but i used the pain to work on myself physically, emotionally, n spiritually. i met so many great people who treat me better and love me properly. it’s abt 4 months of nc now and she started to stalk my social media multiple times a day through a third party site, but i’m long gone. thanks coach lee
How did you discover she is using third party site?
@@alessandrobeschi6230I think he has discovered her stalking, through a 3rd party tool.
And I think there's at least curiosity left in his bones. 😅
I broke NC after I find my self back after therapist visits . I call when I was stable and healthy , I didn’t care if she came back or not . I just call to check if she is ok !!! She start to cry and told me that she was gonna contact me this day and was a miracle that I called her .
Do NC for your own good and if it’s meant to be it will be .
I CAN TELL YOU FIR SURE THAT THEY STALK ON YOU EVEN IF YOU THINK THEY DONT .
STOP ASK MUTUAL FRIENDS . Exs never going to tell the truth to mutual friend . Trust only your experience about this person and believe only your mind . No one else !!!!
Did you get back together ?
Love you coach. You help me when I feel like I’m dying. You instill hope and comfort in us. Every time I put on a coach lee video I tell myself “everything is going to be alright”. I love how serious and sensitive this subject is to you. God will always bless you and your family for what you do
Well said and thx to everyone that is supportive on here to everyone else these things are tuff life is tuff
There are so many doctors out there but a good friend of mine, recommended me to Dr. OMEN who is a great spell-caster and he helped me with the love spell and it worked within a few hours My ex called to apologize and wanted us to continue the relationship again..
bless your heart😢
This is solid advice because at the end of the day it’s all about self-respect and character.
I havent been on this channel for a few months. Just want to let you guys know that things will get better with time. I was so hopeless at first thinking I was never gonna get over her. These videos definitely made me feel better and helped when I wanted to contact my ex. As a word of advice , Don’t reach out Instead focus on yourself, Pursue your goals, find hobbies, make friends, spend time with family. You don’t want to be thinking of the past and how you would have done things differently. It is okay, what done is done. Take it as a learning experience and move on. Have some self worth. At the end of the day, if they wanted to be with you, You wouldn’t have to begging. Time heals wounds. You guys got this 💪
Thanks for those words.
Thank u for the encouragement
I don’t think he’s ever coming back this time. Hopefully I won’t care eventually.
Here's the sad truth. If you go no contact and your ex doesn't reach out to you its over move on and start working on the things that turned your ex off. Most of the time its from being needy and insecure.
After almost 2 months of no contact, I called my ex. She talked as if the break up never happened. We talked for 3 hours but she told me she lost all romantic feelings and was very happy being single. It was genuine and not fake. She told me she still cares for me and loves me, but not romantically. I’m ok with this, it’s the closure I needed. All I can say is, no contact helped and destroyed me at the same time. I was always wondering what she was doing and who she was with, just to find out she’s been with her girl best friend and not even thinking of me romantically. She said she thinks about me every day, but not in an in love way. I’m going to be ok.
I am surprised about one thing. This NO CONTACT topic has been repeated repeatedly by Coach Lee but he could still comfort us like this is a new video - all factual stuff but with so much love in it actually!
I have been watching your videos for years now I really appreciate your videos!!! You have helped me cope with my breakup.
Thought I'll share my stories so far...
I have been in this situation twice already, and busy for the 3rd time now as we speak.
NC does work, it worked both times before. I got the message from her, asking to see me and telling me she missed me.
Not sure if it will work this 3rd time, but doing it anyway, for the good of myself or for us.
It's difficult, you'll have up days and down days, but it does work.
Good luck to everyone sitting in the hurt, whether it's to get them back or move on.
Stay strong! 💪🏻
I've probably watched every single one of Coach Lee's videos at least 2-3x each. Coach Lee, Coach Ken, & Vincent Bos are by far the BEST relationship "get your ex back" coaches I've found. Highly recommend all three channels!
NC is key. I’ve been for two months. I’m dating a few ladies casually and boom, ex is watching Instagram stories. She isn’t following me either. She’ll contact soon. We have same hair lady and she was talking about me entire last hair appt. You never know what ex is thinking/doing.
She contact yet?
update?
Im 1 week into no contact, going to the gym and feeling so much better. Going to get that comeback body!!!
How did it go??
Hello Coach Lee. I did no contact to my ex to give us time and space and to be a better version of myself (it took 30days to be exact). She contacted me earlier telling me that she doesn't have feelings for me anymore. I didn't judge her because she's tired, stressed I know it's my fault and I invalidated her feelings before we broke up. I hope she's doing good and happy now.
If you're reading this bb. I always love you because you're the one who understand me the most and always here for me when I'm not okay. I wish you all the best and good luck in your future.
Shooooot!! I am going on 5 years no contact. No reversal, at the beginning I was stupidly hopeful, but as I further understood my situation and my X's pass, I am glad that no contact didn't work for me. I am very much grateful and completely happy for having clarity. Be strong brother's, sometimes you want back doesn't want you back and this will cause you more problems should they come back. Understand your pain, accept your pain, don't succumb to addiction, or bad behavior, be strong and accept the change as best as possible due to circumstances.
They never reached out once ?
@isaiahbarrett9451 never ever, As I am dead to them, never existed. As I stated in the beginning, I was torn, but 5 years later, I am still dead. It's not a problem.
Nearly 3 years since break up and she didn't contact me ever. In this time the only "contact" she did was seeing a few of my stories two years ago. I did no contact shortly after the breakup.
It was a 3 year relationship and a 20 years friendship. I know the breakup was mostly my fault (not cheating or abuse involved), but it is still very sad how has she forgotten me this way.
@@r.maelstrom4810it's proof that this person was never good for you in the first place.. but it's also proof that you shouldn't have waited around should have pursued other people and pursued a different life and that applies to anyone
@@demarzbarz5162lmao I am still dead.. bro it’s been 5 years ! Stop watching videos and move on with someone new
The worst part is when you know did something to hurt the relationship. However, taking ownership and responsibly goes a long way. I agree with coach as well. Allow them the break up and work on yourself. What’s meant to be will be.
Number one coach honestly he is so funny and smart respect his advice thank you Lee
A principle of the no contact rule is understanding she may never come back, and accepting that. I used no contact on a girl that I had an amazing time with and it's now a year almost to the day. The key is to not NEED her. As a man you must learn to be needed, but not be needy. I can't speak for everyone's situation- had kids, long marriage, etc; but you must move forward and not be stuck on this one woman, no matter the difficulty.
Are you over her yet?
It's so hard, I can't handle missing her. just by watching your videos i pass days.
Same here bro . I have been no contact for about three weeks and binge watching these videos and they do help people say just walk away if she doesn't want you in her life but it's easier said than done I miss her
@@bluelivesmatter3600 its unbearable. It's been a week since no contact. The fact that she is going forever makes me mad.
@@bluelivesmatter3600i feel you😢
Have faith in yourself. Thank you, coach!
"We are raising in many ways a culture of narcissists" - Coach this is EXACTLY the situation. I'm in the dating thing in the last couple months, and this is the sad reality. Humanity goes the wrong way now, I have to tell this. Sad thing.
social media is the culprit
@@gaudacheese125the narcissism started getting really bad by the 1990s before social media and it was there in the 1980s but it was mostly white males who had everything going for them and a good future they really had some of the worst narcissism along with some females who were very cruel to man except their own family and the men they were sexually attracted to... the information nowadays helps people not be victimized by these kinds of cruel people
@@gaudacheese125social media gives you the feeling that you cannot escape the people you don't want anything to do with.. that's what's really bad about it
People are baby’s when it comes to dating. Adults talk about there problems not leave the moment the infatuation phase goes away.
There are so many doctors out there but a good friend of mine, recommended me to Dr. OMEN who is a great spell-caster and he helped me with the love spell and it worked within a few hours My ex called to apologize and wanted us to continue the relationship again...
I just passed 60 days after my break up. I did reach out to him on the day of 30 and got rejected 😂 but it made me get definite closure. At the day of 62 after my break up, I am much better and start looking back things more clearer.
Times will delight us to understand more about our questions in the beginning of your break up.
I’ve watched this video over 10 times and it’s helped me a lot, thanks coach!
SUCH wonderful common sense. So effectively explained. Thank you! 👍‼️
Glad it was helpful!
Coach Lee, i watch your videos every single day for strength. I couldn’t stop talking to her for 6 weeks after the breakup. I feel like i may have ruined it. It’s barely been almost 3 weeks since i started no contact! This is tough She showed me she wanted to talk weeks ago. But then she backed out of it. tough situation
As long as you did not do anything cringey or illegal, i think that just after the break up it is better to do some begging or pleading than not do it all. I suspect that once the dust is settled and you KEEP no contact she will entertain the idea that after all you truely loved her. I think that going no contact just after the breakup can be attractive to them at first, but when they are more calm and nostalgia kicks in they can remember your immediate NC as no giving a shit or some kind of unnatural strategy. At least if she is mature enough.
Perhaps Coach Lee can give us some thoughts on this?
@@r.maelstrom4810 thanks for your reply, i agree honestly. I think there does need to be a part after the breakup which shows you do care so much. I’m really struggling right now. I wish i could just talk to her, i wish she would reach out. I’m hurting so much in this moment. I’m such a softie. I pray god takes care of me and gives me a sign here soon.
There are so many doctors out there but a good friend of mine, recommended me to Dr. OMEN who is a great spell-caster and he helped me with the love spell and it worked within a few hours My ex called to apologize and wanted us to continue the relationship again..
I’m your biggest fan, your advises really work, I was dumped a year ago and less than 3 months later we got back together, I bought the emergency kit and it helped me a lot, specially to be better for myself, I also had a call with one of your couches because I needed advise about a decision I had to make and everybody was saying not to do it but after talking to your coach he gave me a better advise and it worked, we’ve been together for 9 months now and very happy, getting along great, we just came back from Cancun a week ago, we are good but I still watch your videos from time to time because my relationship is better because of you, thanks Coach Lee!!
I’m very happy for you! Please email me at myexbackcoach@gmail.com. I’d like to know more about your story if you’re willing.
One of these days they should open a channel for us who have been dumped to hook up here on TH-cam and get to know each other...who knows ?we could find our better halves here😂😂❤❤...I come in peace and love ya'll
Wtf lol yt isn't a dating site.
No contact works. Me and my boyfriend of 6 years have been on and off. I didn’t reach the parts where coach Lee says about taking it slow though. This time he has left again because he isn’t ‘in love’ with me anymore. I know now that no contact works. It helps anxiety and gives me that piece of mind that even if he doesn’t reach out this time, life still keeps going and I’m not sitting and waiting this time. Coach Lee is always on loop. Thank you so much for your content Lee x
I didn't see such a polite person in the world sir ❤
Good stuff on a rarely addressed but often asked question!
I really wanted to come here and tell you that NO CONTACT works as he has been texting, emailing me about things i should help him with and interacting with me on social media. He broke up with me few months back and he has been trying to connect with me in any way he can. I respond in kind but keep it short. He wants to be friends and I refused to be a friend so he is upset that i am not feeding his ego. Thank you to coach lee for keeping me sane throughout this process. I have watched most of your videos 💗
It’s weird that all this post saying no contact works is from all of these “@user-654jfef” profiles
We need more videos regarding when an ex is already in a new relationship.
My ex broke up with me after a 7 months long relationship and a week later was already in a new relationship with a guy she had contact with for some months through a game she plays, I can't help but suspect there was some emotional cheating even though they didn't see it that way.
And even though I paniced and went overboard with my feelings I told her that I wanted to work on it because I didn't want to throw our relationship away. It fell on deaf ears and I am now 10 weeks into no contact.
This man was already there, Brother, It's most definitely difficult and painful to see the person that you thought was in love with you, the person that you thought was doing good by you, was unfortunately looking for your downfall. Sleeping with the enemy of the sorts. Be strong, Brother accept defeat and move forward. Some, if not the majority, are insatiable. Strength and peace for you, brother.
she had him in line bro so sorry
No video needed. Your turn was over. Not worth the effort.
Forever if you're lucky! Go find the one who wants to be with you without games or tricks. If they walk away once, they will walk away again. I no contacted 15 months ago, had i not? I would have not found my person a few months ago. What a difference in relationships they are. Don't fight for someone who would walk away from you.
Been in no contact for nearly 2 and a half years after a 4 year relationship, I never did no contact to get her back but to not look weak and desperate, never heard from her but see her around sometimes but that's life 😊 wish her the best and hope I find someone else one day.
You will bro❤
There are so many doctors out there but a good friend of mine, recommended me to Dr. OMEN who is a great spell-caster and he helped me with the love spell and it worked within a few hours My ex called to apologize and wanted us to continue the relationship again..
I was an awful partner at times so I know anyone else he gets will be an upgrade. I learned my lesson and will treat my next partner like Gold.
Wh knows now its Ur turn..so treat everyone with outmost care
Feeling the same way 😢
Coach Lee, I am loving you more than I loved my ex even bcz you have helped me restore my dignity. Stay blessed
6 months after the break up. We dated a 3 hour away distant relationship for 8 months. My 3 year old son was involved. I’ll admit I sit 3 separate text during the 6 months, no response. Relationship was healthy. Her parents got involved even with her being almost 30 years old. Ended over FT. I’ve moved on and tbh I don’t even think I want her back due to the situation of her leaving. I never begged or pleaded. She has some growing up to do and needs to face the realization of knowing when a good thing is in front of her. I’m happy and content with my life. Time heals. And I wish her the best!
There are so many doctors out there but a good friend of mine, recommended me to Dr. OMEN who is a great spell-caster and he helped me with the love spell and it worked within a few hours My ex called to apologize and wanted us to continue the relationship again.
Thanks for what you do!
Your voice is really calm and understandable. I appreciate your teachings because on my journey for a while now. You have helped even though I wasn't there yet and broke no contact. Coming back to these vids🎬💞 really puts things in perspective. The old me is gone and that's fine because in the relationship I/we didn't get it right. So it really helps to see that and move forward to the you who wouldn't take/do certain things.
Well done.
Replaying it the 2nd time already.
Coach Lee, I told myself to give you an update, if my ex came back. I should not say " came back" I should say, he contacted me, after 5 months.
We were seeing eacah other for about 4 months. He just decided to fade out. I did not contact him at all during this time. It was really difficult for me. I listened to your videos and prayed for the pain to go away. I listened to almost every video clip of yours, and I moved on.
Coach Lee, I thank you so much for teaching me and walking through this difficult stage. It was toughest in life.
I become more calm and thinking of how to move forward this time, I would be very cautious, before I have intimacy with anyone. I gave away my soul, when I have intimacy with someone. I learned that I really need to cherish myself, and my intimacy.
Coach Lee, I respect and love your perspective and profession. Thank you so much again.
You helped me in no contact area i was trauma bonded to my ex. After no contact i realised n came to knw he is covert narcissists 😮 my life saved no contact forever.
😂 This man is so funny. His analogy's are hilarious yet very effective in it's reflection.
Coach Lee is the best
Im Back to say ❤️ im back with my ex 🧡 after i lost all hope, im not with because he missed me or came back after me, after alot of months of NC i even been dating, i just in a moment of weakness text him and told him i still love and at first he said he lost feelings and we started talking as friends then his feelings came back stronger,then I remembered what coach lee said one in a video that NC give you A better chance to get the ex back if you followed it and after a time you reached out❤ wow i thought it doesn’t work but it does in so many ways
You are so lucky I am not so fortunate … it has been 3 months of no contact . She was cheating on me for 9 months and she always said she wanted to grow old with me and all kinds of beautiful things ,I did love her with all my heart but not anymore found out she was lying about all kinds of things…I don’t want her back ….
@@alexanderthegreat3106 oh my god, cheating on someone it’s like ripping their heart out 💔 im sorry you lived this , as you know even if you don’t want her back NC will help you move on from her and her memories inshallah
I wish I had the guts to reach out to my ex… we been broken up already almost 2 years but I been in NC for 10months already. And not a day goes by that I don’t miss my ex gf. But after begging her and pleading with her for months I had to go into NC and never reached out to her. And she never texted me either or called me. I always think if i should but then lady convo she told me to forget about it and to move on that she ended that chapter of her life. So I will just get my hopes up to reach out and get a response I don’t want ;( . But I am happy you guys got back together!!!! I hope one day I can come share this story as well
@@Markdaamannn I really hope so too, its really hard when they lose feelings and you still have them, it was so painful, hope you get back together too 🧡
@@MarkdaamannnPlease for your sake. Let that go and move forward in life. If you hold this feelings still, she'll never see you differently. After 2 years you have to treat it as she's just some long lost friend. Reach out and say something casual "Hey I was (watching this, doing this) and it reminded me of you. Hope you're well." If she responds LET HER LEAD do not chase. She's just a friend you want to build chemistry with. If she responds negatively or not at all "count your losses" and move on the best you can. It's been long enough
~WolfordWise
NC is the return gift to them who gave u break up. It works 100% to leave them behind. Takes time, a rough road. One day u feel u won but the next day u feel pathetic. Just keep going. One day at a time.
I tried the no contact as soon as we broke up as i felt like i exhausted already my energy chasing him to make our relationship work which didnt happen. And after 4 days of nc, he reached out asking how i am.. i answered casually. Then 2 days after, some realization that made him asked if i can accept him still, after he neglected me when we were together because i became too needy when he became detached or avoidant in the last part of our relationship.
But we then realized that it’s better to heal ourselves first and make his situation, which overwhelmed him and affected our relationship, be better or improve.
I just agreed for the mean time to his request that we can text each other when we want to say something to each other or relapsing and wanted to check the other.
What happened after?
It’s a win win situation : you either move on with your pride or you go back in a much better place & they will think twice before dumping you again
My husband of 3yrs whom I had been wth 10yrs dumped me over a woman he met online! He betrayed me emotionally and financially then walked away! I am not in contact just want a divorce but Im so tormented 😢I just hope he gets what karma has for him! Be strong stay away and do not contact we are so much better than that! THANK YOU COACH LEE FOR ALL YOUR COURAGEOUS VIDEOS AND TALKS
update?❤
Hi coach, I really love your videos and they have been a great help to me..! I so much appreciate the fact that you mention the possibility of the dumpee actually been a good partner, (11:25) as this is something that it is not discussed enough in general. Good partners might even be able to perceive someone's attachment style and try to create a "safe environment" for their boyfriend/girlfriend to feel comfortable. Even so it is possible that an avoidant might leave the relationship because they are getting emotionally intimate - something that apparently they can't handle. Would love a video on this. Thank you anyway! You are truly amazing! :) :) :)
I did a lot of coo coo for coco puffs things. I’m an addict, I did anything to get my fix of dopamine. (getting him to respond to my messages even if it was negative.) saying things that I knew would get under his skin. We’ve been on and off for 3-4 years. I’m going on my fourth week of no contact, this is the longest we’ve ever gone without talking (even when I was in rehab). I’m trying to focus on my self to be a better partner. But I’m so hopelessly codependent (something that often coincides with addiction). I hope he comes back this time, but we both need to make changes to our problematic behavior in order for it work. Idk I just wanted to get that off my chest.
It sounds like you understand yourself well. That’s often a sign of someone who can change. You only have to take this one day at a time. That’s all. Don’t let yourself worry past today. You can do this.
Any update?
Terrific message
It will be two years this December since ive heard anything from my ex that cheated and married the guy she left me for. Its a distant memory now and im with someone else.
Coach Lee helped me so much last year as he says it's win win if your ex wants you back or not
There are so many doctors out there but a good friend of mine, recommended me to Dr. OMEN who is a great spell-caster and he helped me with the love spell and it worked within a few hours My ex called to apologize and wanted us to continue the relationship again...
I can remember my father telling me the key to negotiation was being willing to give up what you want. I think the same principle applies here. With using no contact properly, you become more valuable as a person, thus more desirable. It’s a power struggle and self respect goes a looooong way. Just like not paying more for something than it’s worth. So if you become worth more, you can demand more. If you had a great relationship and they broke up with you for a really stupid reason. Believe it or not, you’re the one with all the power in no contact. Some will come back and some will not. Get strong and stay strong people. Eventually a great person WILL come into your life. Whether it’s your ex or someone else.
One year and counting, 5 year relationship, no drama, lots of fun and love, but I guess something was missing, just wish I knew? She is a DA, so I don’t think I have much of a chance that she will ever reach out. I think that if the relationship can’t be a 50/50 proposition, then it’s probably for the best to just move on. Backing away as she obviously doesn’t feel the loss.
I was about to get married to my ex within 2 months. However, he broke up with me because someone else said absolutely rubbish things about me and he got convinced in no time. He didn't even care to understand my version. I did commit a mistake of begging him to not quit upon us. I kept justifying myself even when I was absolutely truthful my entire relationship. He was an overthinker so I made sure that I could give him that kind of understanding so that he could build trust and faith in me and our relationship. However, despite of doing everything, he dumped me. Its been more than a month since he broke up. I am hopeful that I recover with this trauma ASAP.
He doesnt want to talk to me . We fought he went away to the beach with a friend and came back done with me . I am crushed
People don’t use no contact to purposely get your ex back, focus on you. That is the point of no contact. Is to heal become stronger. If your ex comes back than you can take them back, but if they are still the same person than avoid them.
There are so many doctors out there but a good friend of mine, recommended me to Dr. OMEN who is a great spell-caster and he helped me with the love spell and it worked within a few hours My ex called to apologize and wanted us to continue the relationship again...
Sir, I have a question if I may. (And bought the break up kit, name Andrew Benson)
How much importance do you give actions over words? Regularly spending time or video chatting ex, regularly intimate, went on labor Day holiday together and spending the night, but she's saying she's moved on and telling her friends and family we are talking sometimes but that's it.
Fantastic video. Thank you.
Thank you. Always Coach Lee.
Would you consider doing a video on people who self sabotage a relationship? A deep dive into it....
I should.
That is typical of fearful avoidants (and aspies and autistics) Vulnerability makes them stressful in a relationship. It's like a daily test they have to pass, so they pretend to avoid commitment or living the relationship naturally in fear they do a fatal mistake (for example, they can be afraid of making gifts because they fear they turn inappropiate). They take too many baby steps and their partner can get tired of waiting. They fulfill their own prophecy.
Hey coach lee, she kept wanting to remain contact and I think I shut that down harshly so I took her one final date saying what I feel. I think I am on a step towards moving on but I probably messed up the situation.
1 year afrer the breakup she texted me "how are you?" and then deleted the message. What does that mean?
Anyway, I'm still missing US but I would NEVER take her back today. I suffered too much and I'm truly upset for leaving me alone in the worst time of my life.
Love your content. Binge watching it for days now. But my case is so specific, that i can't find any answers on the web...
Thats unfortunate
What about starting videos,which is explain personality types,and how they can handle conflicts,or break up situations?
😊👍
The same
Hey coach lee I just had a quick question my ex and I have been broken up for about 2 1/2 week. The no contact was broken by her after a week of solid no contact at all and she was reaching out. She just wanted to exchange some clothes so I went and talked to her for a little bit, I stayed reserved. The relationship isn’t saved. I just don’t know where to move next?
Most watching will have a dismissive avoidant partner that left them. Then in most cases no contact is just the time to heel. Most likely you will never hear from them again. And if you do, it will be very superficial and non lasting. I'm dealing with the trauma still months after she left me. Very slowly learning to adjust. But with the hundreds of videos on here, I'm sorry but in most cases they don't come back for a lasting relationship.
Ive never been a loss to anyone. No contact lets them get away and forget about you.
No contact prevents them from burning you if they really despise you and don't care about you underneath..... it prevents them from doing some real harm that will carry with you for the rest of your life so don't say that no contact is not good for the rejected person
please work on your self esteem.
chasing after them will completely disqualify you as a partner in their eyes, so you may as well be forgotten.
work in yourself so you become a more desirable person.
My ex blocked me and we been in no contact and he actually texted me!! It works trust me. IT JUST TAKES TIME!!
How long were you in no contact?
No contact didn't work for me. It's been 4 months. He met someone else. I still miss him but it's getting better. I am slowly moving on.
Great video thank you
Doesn't always work. Don't fill your heart with hope. If its been longer than 3 months, just accept its over.
My ex came back after 6 months. 3 months is nothing. Just live your life and focus on you.
@@tsmariexox You should be well and truly healed after 6 months to even consider taking them back.
Yes I was well healed. The first months are the most difficult. But as I say, nothing is impossible.
@tsmariexox I still think about her but I doubt I'd take her back.
Love you coach Lee !!!!!
I just want to apologize to coach lee for doubting him a little . I did everything wrong , the begging the chasing , she even told me I am pushing her away or pressuring her with the messages but I didn’t listen. I did all that for 2 weeks . I found out that she already talking to someone else, it’s has barely been 13 days of break up . We have been together for 2.5 years . I hv decided to go no contact . She messaged me today to thank me for the gift I got her when I was begging but I won’t reply . No contact is the only thing I am holding on to now , I love this girl with all my heart. I blocked her on all social media because I don’t want to see what she is doing .
Update?
Hi coach, I didn’t start the NC after a month after the breakup 😢 I was asking him to reconsider since everything was so well. Is it too late?
I did a lot of the things that I now know I shouldn’t have. My anxiety got the better of me so I wrote long messages throwing my love at her, I struggled with giving her space, among other things. All of which she referenced when saying her attraction was gone. I don’t know if I’ve ruined my chances but I’m now only 2 days no contact and it’s really hard but I’m treating this as my last chance because it probably is.
Started off w online friendship.. four incredible months of face timing, both of us investing, accepting, loving. Then he flew to me, one beautiful week together in a hotel. He said such beautiful things, he spoke about our future. “I’ve landed my love” he was tender when he got home as usual. Then he suddenly stopped communicating, fb isn’t blocked. It has been 3 weeks of silence. He and I had counted the hours until we finally met. Are we broken up? What the heck stage is this? A verbal breakup would have destroyed me less completely
Hey Coach Lee, would love to see a video on the later stages after let’s say 90 days of no contact, when it might be appropriate to test the waters, just an idea!
Agree
There are so many doctors out there but a good friend of mine, recommended me to Dr. OMEN who is a great spell-caster and he helped me with the love spell and it worked within a few hours My ex called to apologize and wanted us to continue the relationship again...
I was wondering about that myself. I've had two conversations with him in the four months since the breakup, and they both seemed good, and I have the possibility of seeming again soon.
.... That probably means you just have to let it go..... 😢
@@seiyachan tbh I have let go and have been doing really well for myself since I commented that. It’s tricky with so many variables though, we tried the friends thing after breakup which I ended up breaking off since I wasn’t being treated right. So technically maybe she’s in no contact? Lol idk at this point. Also so many variables as she still has the entirety of med school ahead of her whereas I’m finished with school and couple years into my career. That’s just the tip of the iceberg too.
Anyways, I’ve been dating and reassured just how many options I have which makes me feel confident. I’ve also improved tremendously since the breakup in June. Sure, I still miss her from time to time, but occasionally (like once per month) I run into her at the gym and we chat and it’s really nice to know she’s okay.
I’ve also seen there’s no time limit, some people come back after 4, 5, 6 months, or years. It kind of needed to happen because we both truly needed time to work on ourselves as cliche as that sounds. But who knows what the future holds, maybe she will circle back at some point. Until then, I’ll keep doing me and striving towards further improvement.
No contact for 1.5 month of a 5 yr relationship ending.. i feel all kinds of relief and at times when i see him watching my stories i feel a little annoyed but im staying the course of no contact 🙃
Been a couple more months, I was in a 5 year relationship also, but only been a couple of weeks no contact. What was the result of your no contact period?
You are so dead on!!🙏
She left me when i needed her the absolute most. Just blocked me on everything like I never existed and we were a LDR
Bruh are we the same person this extacly what happen to me lol and she in a relationship now as well. It’s been 5 months since I heard from her and I think two weeks since she blocked me on everything.
My ex texted me like 3 days ago after 9 months I texted her like 4 months ago found out she was in a relationship went into radio silence for the 4 months she texted me 2ish days ago talking bad about her new relationship and talking bad about her new bf but “she wanted to see how I was doing” and saying that her bf was probably cheating they got into a fight and probably made up at the end of the day then told me she was sorry for bothering me and missed the pets and me but as a friend but I feel like she just used me to get back at her bf. I let my guard down.
Love you lee😘
ok so i met this girl, we went on many dates and hangout alot etc, then she moved to another city for 2 years but before she left we agreed to be exclusive and try long distance.
we facetime/texted everyday until i went to visit her 25 days later, we went on more dates, talk about our feelings said ''i love u'' many times and became bf/gf or she told me in her mind we already was, cuz when people asked her she said she had a bf.
1 week ish after i come home she facetime me crying saying she cant do long distance cuz its to hard for her + with being in a new city, new study and trying to make new friends.
she told me she she needs time to settle there and that she loves me and hope we find our way back to eachother since we were so good for eachother and everything felt so natural and real.
and if she didnt move we would have worked out she said.
now almost 1 week after she told me this, im trying rlly hard to give her space but my mind is going INSANE cuz i rlly loved her and it sucks that its not me but the distance she cant do.
it would have been easier if she just didnt love me..she comes back in december for 3 weeks should i try to meet her idk..any advice?