i was thinking about going to bakery where she works asking how her day was going then giving my food order any ideas on what to say next? She has tattoo on her arm and long hair do i comment on that?
It's not 30% off, it's 13%. At the main page it looks right, but when you go to checkout the "original" price changes. If they would've been honest about the 13% upfront they would've had my business, but they had to lie.
Thank you but I am focused on many other things plus I have never used anything but TH-cam no need to reply all notifs are off on a count I p****d TH-cam off so I just leave my thoughts and seldom reply anyway what's the point have a great life and I am gone
Summary for busy people: 1. Receiving regular compliments; 2. Halo effect (people value your opinion over others's); 3. People mirror your body language; 4. People want to know your opinion and ask you questions; 5. You have hobbies, passions, activities, and therefore you are more interesting than others.
@SaschaJanetschek I know, cuz I already enjoy my life and without ppl around me, especially without girls around me, cuz I don't need them. I'm happier on my own.
😁😁😁😁. Once I was hiking thru Shenandoah mountains, a black bear approached me and told me, "Dude, I am a bear and even then I am more attractive than you! First I was perplexed that a bear could communicate with me, secondly I said, Misery loves company, I guess I can't count on you now, right homie!" He ran away laughing. Yup! Even wild life knows how attractive I am. 😉😉😉😉
I was on a museum tour and we were told to sit on some benches to watch a video. I sat down and there was an open spot next to me and an attractive girl looked at that spot and decided to sit on the dirty nasty floor than next to me. Yup, I'm SOOOOO attractive.
1. Compliments: None 2. People Value your Opinion: No 3. People Mirror your Body Language: Mo 4. People ask you many question: No 5. Hobbies: atleast i have this. Looks like I failed these signs overall..lol
Once you go way over people they can't ask you questions, everything you say is Greek or Mandarin to them. ( thousands and thousands of hours of study)
The vast majority of men can count the total number of compliments they have received on one hand (or no hands). It's so uncommon that if you were to ask a man if he's ever been complimented, he can tell you every single detail (date, time, exact quote, who it was, etc.) about that one compliment he got because it was such a rare and memorable occurrence.
I receive compliments regularly from men (usually about the stickers on the back window of my car, lol) But compliments from women are exceedingly rare. And if I do receive them, there’s usually one or multiple reasons why it definitely isn’t implying anything other than them just being nice. (I.e. a married woman and a lesbian told me I had a nice haircut, lol)
The most recent compliments from a woman ( a really good looking and fit mid 40s latina woman) were for my athletic jogger pants and my shoes and socks. I get compliments for my eyes, and have been called attractive by dating app matches (women my age, im 26) but still single :/
Fuck, I got 5 more this year (since I posted this 5 months ago), from 5 different people...unreal, 9 lifetime. Plus my gf thinks I'm super hot. Does that mean I might not be ugly anymore? Mindfuck!!!
I takes being exceptional to get a western woman notice because of the "eyes glued to phone" phenomenon. The screens provide her with a constant flow of Dopamine hits that command her attention.
Confident people don’t just receive compliments, but they give them. Go out of your way to genuinely compliment others, and you’ll immediately be more attractive to people and boost your own confidence.
Uuh, maybe don't do that, if you're not a 8+/10 cause that's just seen as creepy, I'm a 5-7, did that, to a 5 in society standards, but a 7-8 in mine, complimented her awesome braids, cause i overheard her talking about herself feeling ugly, wanted to lighten her mood, got get some guys send after me, tho i could talk my self out of the situation, by explaining just that prior ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ If you had eye contact at several occasions, without her rolling her eyes, you can consider making a compliment, but even then it's still minesweeper on hard.
@@watchdog6619 complimenting people for their kindness and thoughtfulness or creativity or hard work or honesty or going the extra miles or doing something they didn’t have to do, etc…is never creepy. You compliment and then leave- don’t linger or stare, or even wait for a response. Walk off and then the next time they see you, they’ll remember.
@@watchdog6619 i have challenged my employees and coworkers to find a way to say thank you twice instead of once. It changes the whole temperature of a conversation.
That even might be the case, many attractive women don't feel attractive, they mostly start to realize and accept it due to compliments of their surrounding and guys hitting on them.
there's some truth to this though. Some women who find a man attractive default to being rude with the man because they don't want to give the impression they're attracted to him. Or they feel entitled to his attention and if he's not approaching her or just kind of doing his own thing they think he's stuck up. It's kind of like a way to protect their ego by rejecting themselves before the guy does
Here’s my personal list as a guy who’s been looxsmaxing for the past year 1. Girls will get nervous when talking to you 2. You can get away with things more at work 3. Girls don’t find you repulsive when you’re forward (confident) with them and are engaged in your conversations (there is nuance) 4. Girls will give you double takes i.e. at the gym, mall, store, etc. 5. Girls will put themselves in your vicinity 6. Girls will stare at you from mirrors at the gym 7. Men and women will enjoy talking to you and go up to you if you frequent at a place 8. Older women are a lot more forward with their interests in you i.e. compliments, breaking touch barrier 9. Straight and Gay men find you attractive or give you compliments 10. Girls adjust themselves in your presence (hair, clothes, body, etc.) Just things I’ve noticed that never happened to me before hitting the gym consistently, fitting better into new/stylish clothes, new hair style, fragrance rotation, etc., walking confidently with better posture, etc.
Going from 130kg to 76kg I have noticed almost all of these as well, also did a lot of this too changed my looks, hair style, changing fragrances, worked on posture, started going to gym etc. The one at the gym cracks me up it happens way too much with the mirrors even though I've only just started going to the gym. Had one girl do a quadruple take on me the other day she almost ran into a pole was pretty funny. Another girl I went to a coffee shop I frequent she asked if I wanted her spot in the line, I said that's fine I'll wait and just went to the back, she then after we'd both ordered came up and stood right next to me facing me and just started singing the song that was on the radio. It's weird man going from 0 attention when I was a fat dude to a lot after putting so much work into myself.
@@APiccoloI’ve always had female friends before from college, work, social circles, etc. but I’ve went “monk mode”, deleted my social media accounts and have been more isolated since breaking up with my girlfriend last year. Wanted a fresh start. I don’t recommend doing this long term because if you’re not great at being social or with your conversations with others, your looks and money may improve but your social skills will suffer. But making friends has been slow but stable due to me only wanting to spend my time with like minded men. I personally don’t like being “friends” with women as I am only interested in dating. Women at work and gym that I talk to frequently can count as “friends” if that’s what you’re talking about but we don’t communicate or “hang out” outside of that. Most of my time goes to working overtime, gym, and the occasional “night out”. Focusing on yourself, money, and body, for any man regardless of relationship status or relationship goals should be top priority imo. You need a strong foundation and your choices for what woman you want to be part of your life broadens and you learn not to “settle” out of scarcity. Your partner should add to your life as you do to theirs, not take away. If you want high quality women, be someone high quality yourself. Some people have to work for it unlike others who are born with great jawlines, height, genetics, etc. It’s life, those are the rules you have to play by and accept. Life becomes simple, peaceful, and gives you a reason to fight to improve on something everyday once you understand this.
@@dg271there’s 10 reason to motivate you to improve, choosing signals aren’t everything but they’re a good indicator that you’re on the right track. There’s things you can improve now but there will be things you have to work on long term as well. Do it now, but Do it for you, you only have one life
I've received a compliment on my outfit every day so far that I've tried to dress well. From men and women! It's boosted my confidence and your season essentials videos have helped me a lot!
I found out other men find me attractive with that mirror effect thing...every time I punch a guy in the face, they try to do the same thing right back. Thanks for helping me understand!
today i have learned that most of the time people think i'm pretty attractive once they get to know me but my social anxiety often get's in the way of them being able to see my attractive qualities.
I’m not a bad looking dude… but a guy I work with is “destroy your marriage” good looking. He and I have the same name. When we answer the phone at work, we answer with our names. When women think they are speaking to him, but it’s me… I get real insight into how women treat men that they find irresistible. Us normal mortals are not living the same life lol
I'll add in my two cents, I guess. I think most people fall in that middle category, the one where a great personality makes you good-looking. A not-so-great personality makes you not so good-looking. Always learn, always work on yourself, and most people will find you attractive.
I ask people questions because I am a curious person. But even more so, people LOVE talking about themselves, so I give them the openings to do so. At the end of the one-sided conversation, I often hear a person say, "that was a great talk we've had!" They have little to no awareness that the conversation was all about them.
I am 26 and get compliments every once and a while as a guy. My eyes, my hair. I had my athletic jogger pants (I run a lot) complimented by a really good looking and fit mid 40s latina woman I work with and she paid for 2 coffees for me twice and didn’t need to pay her back. She also complimented my shoes too. Idk if she really likes me that way tho. I can get really good matches on dating apps from time to time. But I am still single. I get complimented for my eyes and my hair (blonde hair and blue eyes) by women my age from time to time
@@Mistah_Boombastic_BiggieCheese Dude, if the latina lady was buying you coffee and complimenting your shoes, she was practically begging you to bang her LOL. However, you said you work with her so that would be a no for me. Stormcock?? Uh what...nevermind LOL.
Sign #1, you have options. This makes you even more attractive because it's reflected in your overall attitude. You're not simping over one woman because you don't have to. This comes across as confidence
Important things: 0:31 First Thing: Receiving Regular Compliments; 2:43 Second Thing: People Value Your Opinion Over Others; 4:07 Third Thing: People Mirror Your Body Language; 4:55 Fourth Thing: People Ask You Many Questions; 6:10 Fifth Thing: You Have Hobbies, Passion, Interests, and 7:48 to summarize all the told here. I agree with all what you have told here Courtney. Additional things could be these: Sixth Thing: People Like Your Charisma, Or Perhaps Taking The Initiative (but this can be partly used for second thing that you have told); Seventh Thing: Taking Care Of Yourself (mentally and physically). Thank you very much for your wisdom Courtney. It means a lot ❤💙🤍.
Communication alone usually gets you in the friendzone, as you are "easy to talk to". Confindence is hit or miss, as for it to work, there needs to be atleast some degree of attraction between the two. Confidence can make a difference when she is on the fence, but it won't matter if she's just uninterested from the beginning.
I would also argue that attractiveness in its subjectivity, can be influenced by how you care for and hold yourself, which can be impacted by your confidence.
I would also add that if you're more attractive than you think, you will rarely receive compliments. People will think you already know you're attractive, and won't give you compliments because they don't want to boost your ego any more.
@@Alan-rw3ez Yes, the compliments are often implicit. For example, someone might say, "I like your shirt," but their tone says, "I think you are handsome."
this is most definitely my experience, I othen receive stares everywhere I go and conversations being made, even like compliments on my shoes, tattoos etc, but never straight up being called attractive, but ONLINE it’s another ball game, I’m flooded with compliments on my looks lol, so I know people IRL just don’t wanna feed egos more, then those online.
In certain ways, attractiveness can be subtle, and other times it will seem more obvious than others...however...while it might seem like confidence is always the clear cut answer- sometimes that's not always the case...but I don't believe that is anything to be ashamed of; and I think that being able to handle constructive criticism (which I still struggle with sometimes) is the fundamental building block for effective communication and being able to forgive and feel wanted and accepted; even in the most impulsive of times. The natural curiosity we as people have certainly can't be ignored either - along with dopamine playing a role in even the most basic concept of thought. However, it does take experience to know who really values you and who doesn't - and tbh, it should get talked about more often in the general public. But that's just me anyway.
I’m hella attractive and confident but don’t get compliments nor approached until I approach the women because they just assume I was out of their league.
I’ve been told that I am handsome and attractive but I don’t realize it. Your videos have helped me focus on knowing my self worth, and improve confidence and self esteem. 3 months post break up and I’ve lost 48 pounds💪🏼👊🏼
I would rather think of myself as being unattractive and have someone tell me I am nice looking than to think of myself as being attractive and have someone say I am not nice looking.
The last one, I have TONS of hobbies. Does it make me more interesting? Yes, does it help me pick up chicks? No, not really. Then again, I do those hobbies for me because I like doing them, I don't do them to impress girls. So I really don't care if girls don't flock to me despite all my hobbies.
@sotecluxan4221 Idk because I can't seem to formally meet any ladies to begin with at these hobbies. Small talk has been the most I've been able to get, and no, I don't believe I'm very ugly nor do I have bad social skills. Even when I do other hobbies, the results are the same. HOWEVER, one reason is likely that the huge majority of these ladies are taken. The ones who are alone and presumed single tend to ignore me, maybe because they are just there to do the hobbies, nothing else.
Damn, the comments here are not fun to read. Sounds like guys are not receiving any compliments at all, for the most part. Courtney, I SO know where you were coming from with your intention in this video and I see your point 100%! It’s a great video even if it isn’t resonating with everyone the way you intended. I would love to see a video that respectfully touches on how it’s not realistic for someone to expect a love connection with someone you have nothing in coming with and is maybe prioritizing different things in life. The idea of “be the mate you wish to attract.” I often read, “If you’re not an 8 or higher you won’t get a date. If you aren’t making 6 figures, you won’t ever get married. If you don’t have a 6 pack and are 6 feet tall you will be single and treated horribly by women.” However, I can’t help but now that’s not logical. I’m in my hometown in southwest Michigan right now visit family and when I visit Walmart I see plenty of people who don’t get dressed up, don’t drive nice cars, don’t really look like they have dental insurance or a clean pair of shoes. Yet, many are coupled up. I see lots of men and women buying their groceries with their kids. They, objectively, aren’t 10s and they certainly aren’t rolling in money from what I can tell. What’s so wrong with pairing with people you’re most like? I think that’s how mating works successfully most commonly. I don’t know how you could get this point across but it’s worth a shot!
The guys that buy into those thoughts aren't looking for a perfect match per se, they're looking for validation. The common thread I see on vids like these are guys saying "I only get compliments on my haircut, or a new shirt, etc. But never stop to think that women don't always give men compliments in the same way men give women compliments, but also that women don't necessarily dole out compliments to people they think are repulsive.
The more I watch Courtney's videos, the more I realize I will probably be single. I groom myself, keep clean, have a good job, dress well, work out 1-4 times a day, have a skincare routine, friendly and yet nothing. No action, no gf, not even a compliment other than from grandmother's at my job at the bank.
I think I missed many opportunities in my life because women are often so subtle and I never want to assume(women giving compliments?). Probably because I was humiliated so badly when I was younger. The whole thing with dudes getting destroyed simply for showing a girl attention isn't really a new thing as far as I'm concerned, but I won't get into that. I grew up out of poverty, had terrible self image, had to jump straight into working my life away as soon as I was out of school and kinda hid myself for fear of failure or humiliation I suppose. Now I'm at a point in life where I feel like I can lift my head up and breath, but I'm in my 40s now.. And if you spend most of your life thinking a certain way it's VERY hard to rewire that thinking. I know this might come off as "cringe", but I know there are plenty of dudes out there struggling with the same sort of thing, and that things like this we might look to as affirmation of our doom. I'm not going to spout off some words of positive motivation because I'm not in a position to do that. But, if you're younger, I'd suggest doing everything you can to improve yourself FOR YOU, because it only gets harder when you get older. Just because women aren't hitting on you doesn't mean you're screwed, it may just come down to how you carry yourself, how approachable you are, etc. More importantly, if you're struggling, you're not alone. I appreciate people like Courtney, could have used these kind of discussions when I was younger.. ya know before TH-cam lol.
Cringo after reading your comment I get the impression that you feel you are over-the-hill. Not so, I understand exactly where you are coming from but Rollo Tomassi, the author of "The Rational Male" explains that the peak SMV (Sexual Marketplace Value) is 23yo for women and 36yo for men. His opinions make perfect sense and it was really eye-opening with regards to how men and women view relationships and why they do what they do. I highly recommend you pick up a copy of this book. Regarding women being subtle, that is ftustrating but women have this code of not being too obvious or they will feel they have cheapened themselves. They want to be pursued and may even be rude to test you. Lose your fear of rejection or better yet, learn to use it to your advantage and you might be surprised what will happen. Women are attracted to men who act like men and go after what they want. Women are not attracted to men who act like little puppies that run away when she stamps her foot and there are a lot of puppies out there.
@@RICKYY1100 It's not the stamping of feet you have to worry about though. Basically have to discern whether you're attractive in her eyes, because otherwise you may be treated like a terrorist. And it's even worse if you're older. I tried explaining to someone why I find myself attracted to younger women, it's almost like waking up out of a coma, you're not just going to start finding older women attractive. It's not even as much a physical thing, if you haven't had experiences you find in relationships, you can't relate with them. I think this is an issue with many older guys who have worked their lives away. But people who aren't in those shoes can't comprehend it and treat these men like they're scum. If you're someone who cares about your image or how you're going to be treated by those around you, you're not going to be very assertive. Maybe it's not as bad in higher populated areas, but.. This whole situation, paired with having less connections/social networks as you get older, less places to go or things to do, makes it sooo hard to find a companion. More to the point of the original video, most men aren't getting these hints that someone finds them attractive, and anymore we more-or-less need definitive proof. Thanks for the encouragement though.
Yes Courtney women ask me lots of questions such as what do I do for a living, how much do I have in the bank, how big is my house, what sort of car do I drive, how much money does my family have and how will it be split amongst my siblings when the old folks go. My oh my I feel incredibly ATTRACTIVE. My confidence is sky high!!! I'm a STAR!!!
I have really liked how thoughtful and well-presented your videos are Courtney. This past year I have been working on improving my physique, social skills and fashion. I guess these were thing I neglected for a long time. You have given me a lot to reflect on, so thank you😁
I experience all of these things regularly on a daily basis. The irony is that attractive young women who probably like you are the last people to give you compliments, express interest in your opinions or hobbies when you initially meet them. Many women who are attracted to you will try to act like they don't like you and you aren't all that. But their eyes, body language and actions tell a different story. If anything, you have to be involved with a woman before she starts singing your praises.
As a 70 yo man who has had hot women come on to me since I was 12, I wholeheardedly agree with your comment. However, at a young age I saw through their silly little games, learned how to make it work to my advantage and always smashed LOL. I wasn't interested in compliments or praises, I was only interested you-know-what!
Scored a 1/5 thanks to a few hobbies and passions. If there are any guys on here that actually receive compliments or who are ever asked for their opinions (or at least do not receive instant backlash when they express them), shout-out below. I'd be curious to know your circumstances that facilitate that.
@@linewalkr6500 I'm sure "just competence" doesn't count. The kind of opinions and questions asked be like "what do you think of... [scent, clothing, hairstyle etc]. But I appreciate your positive feedback
I am 26 and get compliments every once and a while as a guy. My eyes, my hair. I had my athletic jogger pants (I run a lot) complimented by a really good looking and fit mid 40s latina woman I work with and she paid for 2 coffees for me twice and didn’t need to pay her back. She also complimented my shoes too. Idk if she really likes me that way tho. I can get really good matches on dating apps from time to time. But I am still single. I get complimented for my eyes and my hair (blonde hair and blue eyes) by women my age from time to time. Idk what mirroring really looks like. Im still single :(
I watched Queer Eye for the Straight Guy in highschool and they told me to put suntan lotion on every day. I'm now 35 and when I look around at my peers, I'm very glad I did so.
I recently had someone come into my gym 3 hours earlier than he normally would to meet me. He always sees my name on the sign in sheet at around 5am every day. So he came in at 5am one day just to meet me.
I think your channel and the things you taught me about me being a woman and realizing the beauty of finding someone truly special to yourself. Not for sex or things like that but for love, saved me from the last guy I dated. I was in a very bad relationship that was toxic and abusive in all kinds of ways. Got to the point were I was at the ER a few times a week because of him. I had low to zero self respect. I hated myself so much that the abuse he did to me felt deserving. Im 23 years old and all of this happened about 3 years ago, since then it’s been hard to date and I was really struggling after I left and he went to jail. I did things I’m not proud of , I got into drugs, drinking a lot, and fell into prostitution. I was in a dark place and I was really really struggling. I came across your channel about 2 years ago during the same time of the drug, drinking, prostitution etc-and fell almost in love with your confidence and the confidence you have knowing your self worth. It sort of shifted me into a different perspective towards myself. Your videos helped me improve the view I had of not only myself but your own self worth and the love you have for yourself as well. I stoped drinking, stoped doing drugs, I didn’t go to parties with the people I did before got a job, got my education back on track. And in the same time span I met my future husband who I’m engaged to. And we actually met at a bus-stop (how romantic hahaha ) We always took the same bus at the same time cause I worked at the supermarket and he worked at the the restaurant directly across the street. He asked me out and now 2 years later we’re engaged. I was very open with him form the starts the things I went through and how my life was I didn’t want to hide anything, learned that from your channel actually that it’s important to be honest. I mean it hasn’t been easy, but we made it work. We talked a lot trying to be honest with each other and really growing with each other not against each other. We worked together to be together. So I wanted to just thank you, even if you don’t read it I wanted to write and tell how much this channel and how you helped me turn my life around 😊
Every time I go to the same restaurant. The cook always calls me “Pretty” even the workers calls me pretty. (Every single time) so I guess I’m attractive than I think.
In Psychology, it's "Self-Actualization" you talk about. Unfortunately in many instances, it's another psychologic theory: "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy" --after continuous negative experiences that generate a negative feeling about oneself, continually reinforced, leads the person to actually think negative thoughts about oneself and to act accordingly, in the negative way. If you continually treat a person as inferior(creep), from continued negative comments and actions, don't be surprised if he starts acting as an inferior. Also called the Pygmalion effect from the fictional work( in a positive sense), when a peasant woman selling flowers is treated as a noble lady, and she eventually becomes a noble lady.
I've always been a low-profile guy. Growing up all I cared about about was playing video games in my spare time (which I do know regret). Being shy, quiet and not a sports guy, I was unconfident and thus was not keen on going to parties until I was 17 or so. I am 26, now, and despite having changed (take care of my appearance, and practice sports) I do still have reserves concerning me that prevent me, for example, to get to woman I am into and talk to her without messing it up. For example, my tone of voice (which is not deep) and the fact that I do not look as old as I am.
Another sign, as strange as it may sound but it is true, is that you rarely or never receive compliments. The reason behind this is because people may already think you know how attractive you truly are and don't feel the need to compliment you.
While I appreciate your optimistic outlook on these kinds of things I feel inclined to point out that men, generally speaking, rarely receive compliments of almost any kind. I can honestly count on one hand the number of times I have received a genuine compliment for my looks in my entire life(three of which I can still remember despite the most recent one being more than a decade ago) and I think I'm somewhere around average looking. I've chatted with my friends about this and have heard essentially identical stories from basically all of them. It doesn't bother me but it sounds so strangely naive that anybody who truly does get any kind of regular compliments might not actually know how attractive they are... I think your perspective likely just shows the difference between the male and female experience. It's so incredibly different that it likely seems impossible to understand in some ways. Just my two cents.
@@gnarlsdarkley That would be my hobbies too but I think in the video was meant about some hobbies that makes you interesting like snowboarding, skiing, being an entrepreneur, do some instruments, basejumping, "travelling", etc. As an introvert i do none of these. I like to watch my movies and I dont understand why this isnt enough for women.
@@peterwilliam4044 As for the why it isn't "enough" because it's boring. I know it is. But pretending to be someone who you are not isn't going to work out either
I actually received a few last week when I went out, from men and women. I make it a point to be smiling when I enter the room, make eye contact with everyone and engage in chit chat with as many of them as possible
Last time I received a compliment was about 5 years ago (give or take). Last time someone wanted me to assume a leading role in a "group" did not end well. It was about 7 years ago. I threatened to resign. I can rarely read other person's body language, so I cannot know if anyone is mirroring my body language. People are typically afraid to hear my opinions, they don't ask me questions unless they have no choice. Well... most of use have hobbies...
1. Compliments: people only compliment my hair 2. People value my opinion: yes because i’m “smarter” not attractive 3. People mirror my body language: because i’m usually the one doing the right things while they are confused on what to do 4. People ask you many questions: yes because i ask those same people many many questions prior 5. Hobbies and Interests: i have TONS
The thing about attractive men that most people don't talk about and is something we are constantly on the receiving end off is people's negative assumptions about us specially women. I can't count the amount of times I've gotten the cold shoulder from people just because of my looks. Men throw hissy fits and cheap shots while women are always assuming and thinking negatively about attractive guys. For me, approaching women feels unnatural because I'm not used to it and when I do it I gets awkward from the get go. And you can't even show genuine interest because you come off as needy so is like a lose-lose situation we are in. You can be attractive and still have a hard time.
Well, not to be too harsh but, being attractive or over the medium, is a heck of a lot better than not. Yes, attractive guys can also have problems and difficulties with approaching, that mostly comes from themselves. But, again, I rather be generally attractive than ugly. And, I'm guessing that is a _problem_ many, many guys would like to have. Good luck to you.
This has been my experience as well. Many women default to assuming you're a player and can be incredibly rude to you even as a total stranger. Men, especially with a bit of alcohol in them try to start fights all the time. I've been randomly attacked multiple times in bar scenes. I'm not trying to brag or anything but I've been approached by modeling agencies out in public just to give perspective. It sounds dumb but doing the hold-the-door-open for someone test you can really sense it. Just a common courtesy and I can get scoffs, eye rolls, or flat out ignored doing so. It's so odd how people assume you have life on easy mode if you just look good so they go out of their way to make yours difficult.
@@enemy1134 That can be rough, I’m sure. People should never treat other differently by simply looking at them. Prejudice is awful for anyone. Saying that, I’m guessing your looks are not all a complete bane of existence? Best of luck!
@@enemy1134 i also experienced the same thing. But what I also often see is guys looking to me in a public setting espacially if they are out with their girlfriend. I also feel like its because they feel a certain competetion lookswise when it comes down to the dating game.
I have medium-long curly hair, and I work at a cafe where I receive compliments about my curls almost daily. While I appreciate the kind words, I’ve started to feel like my hair is the only notable thing about me.
Studies have shown attractive people get less compliments on there appearance at least. The theory behind it is people thonk they know they look good already.
compliments: rarely, if ever. opinions: yea, only because I'm smart mirror: not that I've noticed asking questions: yea, but only when they want my help hobbies: not many and mostly introverted stuff so i guess I'm not more attractive than i thought i was
I’m pretty sure I’m attractive at least mildly but I never get compliments. Idk if it’s a regional thing but I think people don’t talk to each other much.
People only look to me when it comes to fixing a car or something in the house. When it comes to hobbies, well, every time I bring up my book that I wrote and how long it took me to write it, every woman stops talking to me. Is it wrong to show that I remained dedicated to completing something and have plans for more books?
I'd say that, generally speaking, there are certain hobbies that women value a lot more than others. Any hobby that they consider boring/nerdy, chances are they won't care for it. If the hobby is going to the gym, or something music related, they will show a lot more interest, even if the guy in question is just bland. At the end of the day, it kinda works like beauty standards, where something as basic as a jaw line can make a huge difference, for some reason. Just enjoy what you do, and wait for someone who actually cares for your hobbies.
Have you ever attempted talking to women in a library or book store? Book clubs? If that’s what you enjoy, that sounds like where you’d find someone with similar interests
Confidence and security are the most attractive traits I've found people appreciate in me recently. I've always had confidence issues due to upbringing and childhood trauma but when exposed to a new environment in college and social gatherings, people thought I was confident and attractive. People can see the stiffness and awkwardness in you. Maybe if you're struggling like I did, try not to affirm your struggles and hide them. Slowly but surely you'll get to a very liberating confidence. Think positive thoughts only, and nip the negative ones immediately. Be critical about yourself, but do no beat yourself up. Bring yourself up. We all got this trying to be better :)) P.S. this means no more/ much less of self deprecating humor :))
First of all, I can honestly say I would never be accused of being an attractive gentleman, secondly, there have been some infrequent and far-in-between instances when a compliment was thrown my way...one occasion my female eye doctor asked me if I felt as good as I look, but I believe that was about my elderly age, and the other occasion goes back several years when a close friend of my mother told her that I was the black version of Cary Grant, so I take them when and where ever I can get a compliment thanks for sharing this video👌🏾👍🏾
As a young man if I heard a pack of girls giggling behind me, I automatically assumed they were making fun of me and would immediately become irate - but keep it buried inside, maintain a poker face, and try to get out of there and go somewhere private to recover, perhaps cry to release the emotions and feelings of shame. This was a result of low self esteem instilled from a very young age - mainly from my own family - and my deeply ingrained belief that no girl would ever like me, so all interactions with girls were taken in a negative light. It wasn't until my mid-40s when I started watching coaches like this that I realized girls have tried to approach me for decades but I never understood it, and instead either were confused as to why they were talking to me or viewed their actions with deep suspicion and hostility. Slowly over the last few years I came to realize I actually have a certain level of "pretty privilege" as I increased my awareness of social cues, but all these years just assumed I was not very attractive because that's was I led to believe as a child.
1. The only compliment I remember receiving was that I have a nose like a Greek god (or statue? one of the two, but it's basically the same thing). It was from an older classmate who was in a relationship with another classmate (evening school, people of all ages there, even one 50+ guy). 2. People sometimes do value my opinion more, but only at work. I am practically always the most logical person in the room, but apparently I suck at conveying my point in a way that compels others... most of the time, anyway. And my opinions are often strong and thus polarizing. 3. Haven't noticed others copying me, but I don't really look at other people unless they're on stage, and even then only if they're performing something; if they're only talking, then I just listen without looking right at them. 4. Rarely does anyone ask me questions, I presume it's because I tend to talk a lot in such cases. I just want to convey my point as precisely as possible to avoid any confusion or misunderstandings, but alas... 5. My hobby is learning, but I do that via the internet, which isn't interesting to other people. Has to be said that people only really find interesting the kinds of hobbies where you do something with your hands, and I don't really have any such hobbies. I have some interests, like cycling or hiking, but I rarely practice them. My passions are nature, art, music, truth. As for activities - none that matter. I know this is a major issue, but I just don't feel like doing much most of the time. I exercise at home just enough to keep fit, but that's about it. I have thought about doing all kinds of stuff, but never have the motivation to actually start anything.
My attractive female neighbor is completely paranoid ... She thinks I'm following or even stalking her ... She is worried that I may be obsessed with her and any time she hears a noise in her house she is purified ... or petrified... Sorry, it's not easy reading her new blog entry through binoculars from a tree ... * Moscow, Russia
Tiege Hanley: Get your first box 30% off (+ FREE gift), and 20% off for life, at tiege.com/crmore
i was thinking about going to bakery where she works asking how her day was going then giving my food order any ideas on what to say next? She has tattoo on her arm and long hair do i comment on that?
It's not 30% off, it's 13%. At the main page it looks right, but when you go to checkout the "original" price changes. If they would've been honest about the 13% upfront they would've had my business, but they had to lie.
Thank you but I am focused on many other things plus I have never used anything but TH-cam no need to reply all notifs are off on a count I p****d TH-cam off so I just leave my thoughts and seldom reply anyway what's the point have a great life and I am gone
Summary for busy people:
1. Receiving regular compliments;
2. Halo effect (people value your opinion over others's);
3. People mirror your body language;
4. People want to know your opinion and ask you questions;
5. You have hobbies, passions, activities, and therefore you are more interesting than others.
Esp for 1-4, pay attention to the frequency you'd get this. I've gotten 1-4, but it's not too many to count and kinda rare for me.
Thanks!
Hah! Then I'm definitely ugly, cuz all of these signs are the opposite for me, except that I have my own hobbies, that I trully enjoy.
@@johnnykend5728 life is not only about being attractive. you got this
@SaschaJanetschek I know, cuz I already enjoy my life and without ppl around me, especially without girls around me, cuz I don't need them. I'm happier on my own.
Well, the bathroom mirror doesn’t break when I walk past it. So I suppose that’s a good sign
😆
Haha
😂
Lmaooo
Nice 😂
A girl in school cried because she was made to sit next to me. Yup, I am attractive. :D
hey man, those tears of joy are unforgettable ;)
😁😁😁😁. Once I was hiking thru Shenandoah mountains, a black bear approached me and told me, "Dude, I am a bear and even then I am more attractive than you! First I was perplexed that a bear could communicate with me, secondly I said, Misery loves company, I guess I can't count on you now, right homie!" He ran away laughing. Yup! Even wild life knows how attractive I am. 😉😉😉😉
I was on a museum tour and we were told to sit on some benches to watch a video. I sat down and there was an open spot next to me and an attractive girl looked at that spot and decided to sit on the dirty nasty floor than next to me. Yup, I'm SOOOOO attractive.
Shit man, those are memories I don't need, middle/high school girls are cruel
I'm 6 10 and a girl cried when she had to sit next to me cause she don't like short people 😕
1. Compliments: None
2. People Value your Opinion: No
3. People Mirror your Body Language: Mo
4. People ask you many question: No
5. Hobbies: atleast i have this.
Looks like I failed these signs overall..lol
Once you go way over people they can't ask you questions, everything you say is Greek or Mandarin to them. ( thousands and thousands of hours of study)
body language not just "no" but "mo", man is beyond hope
Hobbies is your fault
Don't be hard on yourself man, I also only have hobbies that's all :P
Same and I've given up what others think.
The vast majority of men can count the total number of compliments they have received on one hand (or no hands). It's so uncommon that if you were to ask a man if he's ever been complimented, he can tell you every single detail (date, time, exact quote, who it was, etc.) about that one compliment he got because it was such a rare and memorable occurrence.
Absolutely right!
I receive compliments regularly from men (usually about the stickers on the back window of my car, lol) But compliments from women are exceedingly rare. And if I do receive them, there’s usually one or multiple reasons why it definitely isn’t implying anything other than them just being nice. (I.e. a married woman and a lesbian told me I had a nice haircut, lol)
For real, i remember a girl in 8th grade complimenting my abs and one about my jawline in 11 grade😂
The most recent compliments from a woman ( a really good looking and fit mid 40s latina woman) were for my athletic jogger pants and my shoes and socks. I get compliments for my eyes, and have been called attractive by dating app matches (women my age, im 26) but still single :/
My husband gets hit on and complimented on a daily basis 😂
Dude, if a man has received more than 5 compliments in his entire life, he's good looking.
I can vouch for this!
At age 34 im up to 2!
Fuck, I got 5 more this year (since I posted this 5 months ago), from 5 different people...unreal, 9 lifetime. Plus my gf thinks I'm super hot. Does that mean I might not be ugly anymore? Mindfuck!!!
A 3 year old girl and a young woman in her 30s recently both told me that I'm handsome.
Only times anyone told me that.
I'm 0 for 5 💪
My man 👊
Me too☹️
I hear you.
Same😂😂😂
Time to step up your game or continue to get stepped on
I've always felt that I was pretty low on the attractive scale. After watching this, I know that I'm lower than originally assumed.
Me too. I feels like women dont even notice I am in a room. I wonder how fast the can determine an just complete ignore my existance.
Ditto. I'm pretty much invisible to all and sundry. Although that invisibility would come in handy if I ever decided to become a hitman, LOL.
Lol , I actually laughed out loud , this comment was so real 🤴
I takes being exceptional to get a western woman notice because of the "eyes glued to phone" phenomenon. The screens provide her with a constant flow of Dopamine hits that command her attention.
Confident people don’t just receive compliments, but they give them. Go out of your way to genuinely compliment others, and you’ll immediately be more attractive to people and boost your own confidence.
I help guys by giving them tips on how to ask to women out 😂
Uuh, maybe don't do that, if you're not a 8+/10 cause that's just seen as creepy, I'm a 5-7, did that, to a 5 in society standards, but a 7-8 in mine, complimented her awesome braids, cause i overheard her talking about herself feeling ugly, wanted to lighten her mood, got get some guys send after me, tho i could talk my self out of the situation, by explaining just that prior ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
If you had eye contact at several occasions, without her rolling her eyes, you can consider making a compliment, but even then it's still minesweeper on hard.
@@watchdog6619 complimenting people for their kindness and thoughtfulness or creativity or hard work or honesty or going the extra miles or doing something they didn’t have to do, etc…is never creepy. You compliment and then leave- don’t linger or stare, or even wait for a response. Walk off and then the next time they see you, they’ll remember.
@@golfbuddy1969 Ooh yeah, your right, that i totally agree with, complimenting acts or decisions is the best way to go. 👍😄
@@watchdog6619 i have challenged my employees and coworkers to find a way to say thank you twice instead of once. It changes the whole temperature of a conversation.
I like to think that I'm so attractive that all the women around me think I'm out of their league.
😂😂😂
That even might be the case, many attractive women don't feel attractive, they mostly start to realize and accept it due to compliments of their surrounding and guys hitting on them.
there's some truth to this though. Some women who find a man attractive default to being rude with the man because they don't want to give the impression they're attracted to him. Or they feel entitled to his attention and if he's not approaching her or just kind of doing his own thing they think he's stuck up. It's kind of like a way to protect their ego by rejecting themselves before the guy does
😂😂😂
😂
Welp got told in 5 ways I’m not that attractive 💀
Im sure you have a wonderful personality though
@@SPM-tvI've heard a lot of women say they wish a guy would fill them up with their huge wonderful personality.
⚰️
I regularly fill up women with my wonderful personality, ha ha :) they can't seem to get enough of my personality :) @@adamant5906
DAAAAAAMN
Here’s my personal list as a guy who’s been looxsmaxing for the past year
1. Girls will get nervous when talking to you
2. You can get away with things more at work
3. Girls don’t find you repulsive when you’re forward (confident) with them and are engaged in your conversations (there is nuance)
4. Girls will give you double takes i.e. at the gym, mall, store, etc.
5. Girls will put themselves in your vicinity
6. Girls will stare at you from mirrors at the gym
7. Men and women will enjoy talking to you and go up to you if you frequent at a place
8. Older women are a lot more forward with their interests in you i.e. compliments, breaking touch barrier
9. Straight and Gay men find you attractive or give you compliments
10. Girls adjust themselves in your presence (hair, clothes, body, etc.)
Just things I’ve noticed that never happened to me before hitting the gym consistently, fitting better into new/stylish clothes, new hair style, fragrance rotation, etc., walking confidently with better posture, etc.
Going from 130kg to 76kg I have noticed almost all of these as well, also did a lot of this too changed my looks, hair style, changing fragrances, worked on posture, started going to gym etc. The one at the gym cracks me up it happens way too much with the mirrors even though I've only just started going to the gym. Had one girl do a quadruple take on me the other day she almost ran into a pole was pretty funny. Another girl I went to a coffee shop I frequent she asked if I wanted her spot in the line, I said that's fine I'll wait and just went to the back, she then after we'd both ordered came up and stood right next to me facing me and just started singing the song that was on the radio. It's weird man going from 0 attention when I was a fat dude to a lot after putting so much work into myself.
Out of curiosity, did you happen to start making friends with women?
now it's 10 more signs that i'm ugly
@@APiccoloI’ve always had female friends before from college, work, social circles, etc. but I’ve went “monk mode”, deleted my social media accounts and have been more isolated since breaking up with my girlfriend last year. Wanted a fresh start. I don’t recommend doing this long term because if you’re not great at being social or with your conversations with others, your looks and money may improve but your social skills will suffer. But making friends has been slow but stable due to me only wanting to spend my time with like minded men. I personally don’t like being “friends” with women as I am only interested in dating. Women at work and gym that I talk to frequently can count as “friends” if that’s what you’re talking about but we don’t communicate or “hang out” outside of that. Most of my time goes to working overtime, gym, and the occasional “night out”. Focusing on yourself, money, and body, for any man regardless of relationship status or relationship goals should be top priority imo. You need a strong foundation and your choices for what woman you want to be part of your life broadens and you learn not to “settle” out of scarcity. Your partner should add to your life as you do to theirs, not take away. If you want high quality women, be someone high quality yourself. Some people have to work for it unlike others who are born with great jawlines, height, genetics, etc. It’s life, those are the rules you have to play by and accept. Life becomes simple, peaceful, and gives you a reason to fight to improve on something everyday once you understand this.
@@dg271there’s 10 reason to motivate you to improve, choosing signals aren’t everything but they’re a good indicator that you’re on the right track. There’s things you can improve now but there will be things you have to work on long term as well. Do it now, but Do it for you, you only have one life
I've received a compliment on my outfit every day so far that I've tried to dress well. From men and women! It's boosted my confidence and your season essentials videos have helped me a lot!
I found out other men find me attractive with that mirror effect thing...every time I punch a guy in the face, they try to do the same thing right back. Thanks for helping me understand!
This has Army written all over it. Every drunk saturday night at the barracks. I'm glad you found love. Your callsign: little spoon.
Tempted to ask if you were THAT guy.
today i have learned that most of the time people think i'm pretty attractive once they get to know me but my social anxiety often get's in the way of them being able to see my attractive qualities.
I’m not a bad looking dude… but a guy I work with is “destroy your marriage” good looking. He and I have the same name. When we answer the phone at work, we answer with our names. When women think they are speaking to him, but it’s me… I get real insight into how women treat men that they find irresistible. Us normal mortals are not living the same life lol
Well I get guys complimenting me all the time, the boys got me 🤣
Fr. I was hit on by this gay dude who's really attractive, so at least that?
Yk they mean it when they say it
You'll miss that when you get out.
@@APiccolo It's something at least 😂
I’ve seen men who are not physically attractive at all, get dates with women who could be models. All because they are excellent at communication.
Problem is just, most women are bad at coms, good luck mate 😆
Were they tall 😆if they’re are, case closed that’s the reason why.
My grandmother is 90 years old, and have good health despite smoking for 70 years.
There are exceptions everywhere..
No, they just have money and are using escorts.
That is true communication and confidence.
Courtney should do a "5 signs your are LESS attractive than you think" video
She basically did with this one💀
Oh, she just did.
⚰️
That's exactly what I just found out!
Most of us already know through decades of reinforcement. 🤷♂
I'll add in my two cents, I guess. I think most people fall in that middle category, the one where a great personality makes you good-looking. A not-so-great personality makes you not so good-looking. Always learn, always work on yourself, and most people will find you attractive.
I ask people questions because I am a curious person. But even more so, people LOVE talking about themselves, so I give them the openings to do so. At the end of the one-sided conversation, I often hear a person say, "that was a great talk we've had!" They have little to no awareness that the conversation was all about them.
Thank you for sharing some info about this situation.
As someone with a tremendously negative self view, it helps a lot!
Lol, good to confirm I've never been attractive as I have never received a compliment in my adult life.
I am 26 and get compliments every once and a while as a guy. My eyes, my hair. I had my athletic jogger pants (I run a lot) complimented by a really good looking and fit mid 40s latina woman I work with and she paid for 2 coffees for me twice and didn’t need to pay her back. She also complimented my shoes too. Idk if she really likes me that way tho. I can get really good matches on dating apps from time to time. But I am still single. I get complimented for my eyes and my hair (blonde hair and blue eyes) by women my age from time to time
@@Mistah_Boombastic_BiggieCheese Dude, if the latina lady was buying you coffee and complimenting your shoes, she was practically begging you to bang her LOL. However, you said you work with her so that would be a no for me. Stormcock?? Uh what...nevermind LOL.
Sign #1, you have options. This makes you even more attractive because it's reflected in your overall attitude. You're not simping over one woman because you don't have to. This comes across as confidence
Important things: 0:31 First Thing: Receiving Regular Compliments; 2:43 Second Thing: People Value Your Opinion Over Others; 4:07 Third Thing: People Mirror Your Body Language; 4:55 Fourth Thing: People Ask You Many Questions; 6:10 Fifth Thing: You Have Hobbies, Passion, Interests, and 7:48 to summarize all the told here.
I agree with all what you have told here Courtney.
Additional things could be these: Sixth Thing: People Like Your Charisma, Or Perhaps Taking The Initiative (but this can be partly used for second thing that you have told); Seventh Thing: Taking Care Of Yourself (mentally and physically).
Thank you very much for your wisdom Courtney. It means a lot ❤💙🤍.
@iamme25yago Well, I didn't put dividing sign.
Communication and confidence is what makes u the most attractive.
Communication alone usually gets you in the friendzone, as you are "easy to talk to". Confindence is hit or miss, as for it to work, there needs to be atleast some degree of attraction between the two. Confidence can make a difference when she is on the fence, but it won't matter if she's just uninterested from the beginning.
I'm pretty confident, but my communication sucks big time and that's the worst combo😑
1. Confidence
2. Good sense of humor
3.Kindness
4. Good attitude toward other people
5. Be a smartass
I would also argue that attractiveness in its subjectivity, can be influenced by how you care for and hold yourself, which can be impacted by your confidence.
Your last point is very correct, Courtney Ryan .... Nice , helpful video, Courtney Ryan !!!
I would also add that if you're more attractive than you think, you will rarely receive compliments. People will think you already know you're attractive, and won't give you compliments because they don't want to boost your ego any more.
Do you mean if you think you are more attractive than you are?
@@socratttIf someone is attractive, they don’t just receive compliments all the time because people know that you already are.
@@Alan-rw3ez Yes, the compliments are often implicit. For example, someone might say, "I like your shirt," but their tone says, "I think you are handsome."
this is most definitely my experience, I othen receive stares everywhere I go and conversations being made, even like compliments on my shoes, tattoos etc, but never straight up being called attractive, but ONLINE it’s another ball game, I’m flooded with compliments on my looks lol, so I know people IRL just don’t wanna feed egos more, then those online.
Jesus then People always think I get compliments al the time
In certain ways, attractiveness can be subtle, and other times it will seem more obvious than others...however...while it might seem like confidence is always the clear cut answer- sometimes that's not always the case...but I don't believe that is anything to be ashamed of; and I think that being able to handle constructive criticism (which I still struggle with sometimes) is the fundamental building block for effective communication and being able to forgive and feel wanted and accepted; even in the most impulsive of times. The natural curiosity we as people have certainly can't be ignored either - along with dopamine playing a role in even the most basic concept of thought. However, it does take experience to know who really values you and who doesn't - and tbh, it should get talked about more often in the general public. But that's just me anyway.
I’m hella attractive and confident but don’t get compliments nor approached until I approach the women because they just assume I was out of their league.
Your always giving great information good woman
Thanks. I learned from your video that I am not attractive at all. Back to video games then.
😂😂😂
This is very helpful for those men who are super attractive, but completely oblivious about it. So... um... Cloud Strife, I guess?
I have no idea if I’m simply too intimidating to get compliments or my demeanor makes me less attractive.
BEING ATTRACTIVE IS FINE,BUT NO MONEY, NO HONEY
absolutely untrue. or you will attract the wrong kind of women.
Nah man if you’re attractive and good in bed women will tolerate you being broke.
@@Spritz86 YOU ARE CORRECT, BUT WHAT I SAID IS ALSO TRUE
@@maxespinosa5052very true, man. Money conquers all lol
@@maxespinosa5052 no need to yell on me. No moral, no oral. 😘
I’ve been told that I am handsome and attractive but I don’t realize it. Your videos have helped me focus on knowing my self worth, and improve confidence and self esteem. 3 months post break up and I’ve lost 48 pounds💪🏼👊🏼
That is incredible! I hope you are so proud of yourself. Rooting for you!! ❤️❤️
I would rather think of myself as being unattractive and have someone tell me I am nice looking than to think of myself as being attractive and have someone say I am not nice looking.
The last one, I have TONS of hobbies. Does it make me more interesting? Yes, does it help me pick up chicks? No, not really. Then again, I do those hobbies for me because I like doing them, I don't do them to impress girls. So I really don't care if girls don't flock to me despite all my hobbies.
Phps ur hobbies are so time consuming.....
@sotecluxan4221 Idk because I can't seem to formally meet any ladies to begin with at these hobbies. Small talk has been the most I've been able to get, and no, I don't believe I'm very ugly nor do I have bad social skills. Even when I do other hobbies, the results are the same.
HOWEVER, one reason is likely that the huge majority of these ladies are taken. The ones who are alone and presumed single tend to ignore me, maybe because they are just there to do the hobbies, nothing else.
Damn, the comments here are not fun to read. Sounds like guys are not receiving any compliments at all, for the most part. Courtney, I SO know where you were coming from with your intention in this video and I see your point 100%! It’s a great video even if it isn’t resonating with everyone the way you intended.
I would love to see a video that respectfully touches on how it’s not realistic for someone to expect a love connection with someone you have nothing in coming with and is maybe prioritizing different things in life. The idea of “be the mate you wish to attract.” I often read, “If you’re not an 8 or higher you won’t get a date. If you aren’t making 6 figures, you won’t ever get married. If you don’t have a 6 pack and are 6 feet tall you will be single and treated horribly by women.”
However, I can’t help but now that’s not logical. I’m in my hometown in southwest Michigan right now visit family and when I visit Walmart I see plenty of people who don’t get dressed up, don’t drive nice cars, don’t really look like they have dental insurance or a clean pair of shoes. Yet, many are coupled up. I see lots of men and women buying their groceries with their kids. They, objectively, aren’t 10s and they certainly aren’t rolling in money from what I can tell. What’s so wrong with pairing with people you’re most like? I think that’s how mating works successfully most commonly. I don’t know how you could get this point across but it’s worth a shot!
The guys that buy into those thoughts aren't looking for a perfect match per se, they're looking for validation. The common thread I see on vids like these are guys saying "I only get compliments on my haircut, or a new shirt, etc. But never stop to think that women don't always give men compliments in the same way men give women compliments, but also that women don't necessarily dole out compliments to people they think are repulsive.
The more I watch Courtney's videos, the more I realize I will probably be single. I groom myself, keep clean, have a good job, dress well, work out 1-4 times a day, have a skincare routine, friendly and yet nothing. No action, no gf, not even a compliment other than from grandmother's at my job at the bank.
I think I missed many opportunities in my life because women are often so subtle and I never want to assume(women giving compliments?). Probably because I was humiliated so badly when I was younger. The whole thing with dudes getting destroyed simply for showing a girl attention isn't really a new thing as far as I'm concerned, but I won't get into that. I grew up out of poverty, had terrible self image, had to jump straight into working my life away as soon as I was out of school and kinda hid myself for fear of failure or humiliation I suppose. Now I'm at a point in life where I feel like I can lift my head up and breath, but I'm in my 40s now.. And if you spend most of your life thinking a certain way it's VERY hard to rewire that thinking. I know this might come off as "cringe", but I know there are plenty of dudes out there struggling with the same sort of thing, and that things like this we might look to as affirmation of our doom. I'm not going to spout off some words of positive motivation because I'm not in a position to do that. But, if you're younger, I'd suggest doing everything you can to improve yourself FOR YOU, because it only gets harder when you get older. Just because women aren't hitting on you doesn't mean you're screwed, it may just come down to how you carry yourself, how approachable you are, etc. More importantly, if you're struggling, you're not alone. I appreciate people like Courtney, could have used these kind of discussions when I was younger.. ya know before TH-cam lol.
Cringo after reading your comment I get the impression that you feel you are over-the-hill. Not so, I understand exactly where you are coming from but Rollo Tomassi, the author of "The Rational Male" explains that the peak SMV (Sexual Marketplace Value) is 23yo for women and 36yo for men. His opinions make perfect sense and it was really eye-opening with regards to how men and women view relationships and why they do what they do. I highly recommend you pick up a copy of this book.
Regarding women being subtle, that is ftustrating but women have this code of not being too obvious or they will feel they have cheapened themselves. They want to be pursued and may even be rude to test you. Lose your fear of rejection or better yet, learn to use it to your advantage and you might be surprised what will happen. Women are attracted to men who act like men and go after what they want. Women are not attracted to men who act like little puppies that run away when she stamps her foot and there are a lot of puppies out there.
@@RICKYY1100 It's not the stamping of feet you have to worry about though. Basically have to discern whether you're attractive in her eyes, because otherwise you may be treated like a terrorist. And it's even worse if you're older. I tried explaining to someone why I find myself attracted to younger women, it's almost like waking up out of a coma, you're not just going to start finding older women attractive. It's not even as much a physical thing, if you haven't had experiences you find in relationships, you can't relate with them. I think this is an issue with many older guys who have worked their lives away. But people who aren't in those shoes can't comprehend it and treat these men like they're scum. If you're someone who cares about your image or how you're going to be treated by those around you, you're not going to be very assertive. Maybe it's not as bad in higher populated areas, but.. This whole situation, paired with having less connections/social networks as you get older, less places to go or things to do, makes it sooo hard to find a companion. More to the point of the original video, most men aren't getting these hints that someone finds them attractive, and anymore we more-or-less need definitive proof. Thanks for the encouragement though.
I guess based on this, I'm even less attractive than I thought. Because I have NONE of that.
no stress, it will come with age. the first time i got regular compliments was from my female colleagues when i started working in an office.
Me looking in the mirror and analyzing handsome. I’m handsome. That’s good enough for me.
Yes Courtney women ask me lots of questions such as what do I do for a living, how much do I have in the bank, how big is my house, what sort of car do I drive, how much money does my family have and how will it be split amongst my siblings when the old folks go.
My oh my I feel incredibly ATTRACTIVE. My confidence is sky high!!! I'm a STAR!!!
The mirror neuron concept is wild. It is proto telepathic in a sense.
LOVE your content and energy keep it up !
Hey hey! Another weekend, another banger 🤩
Thank you Courtney and it is hard to keep up with all these dating topics 😊
Very big positive thing - shirt does not open too wide or deep.
I have followed you for a long time and your channel has grown over the years but I appreciate the wisdom you give.
Thank you so much! 🥰
I have really liked how thoughtful and well-presented your videos are Courtney. This past year I have been working on improving my physique, social skills and fashion. I guess these were thing I neglected for a long time. You have given me a lot to reflect on, so thank you😁
Aww wonderful! So glad I can help 🥰
Thanks for this, Courtney!
I experience all of these things regularly on a daily basis. The irony is that attractive young women who probably like you are the last people to give you compliments, express interest in your opinions or hobbies when you initially meet them. Many women who are attracted to you will try to act like they don't like you and you aren't all that. But their eyes, body language and actions tell a different story. If anything, you have to be involved with a woman before she starts singing your praises.
As a 70 yo man who has had hot women come on to me since I was 12, I wholeheardedly agree with your comment. However, at a young age I saw through their silly little games, learned how to make it work to my advantage and always smashed LOL. I wasn't interested in compliments or praises, I was only interested you-know-what!
Scored a 1/5 thanks to a few hobbies and passions. If there are any guys on here that actually receive compliments or who are ever asked for their opinions (or at least do not receive instant backlash when they express them), shout-out below. I'd be curious to know your circumstances that facilitate that.
The only questions I get asked are about back pain... but I think that's because I'm good with physiotherapy
@@gnarlsdarkley I mean, that counts. You have a competence and people seek it's value. Well done mate.
@@linewalkr6500 I'm sure "just competence" doesn't count. The kind of opinions and questions asked be like "what do you think of... [scent, clothing, hairstyle etc].
But I appreciate your positive feedback
I am 26 and get compliments every once and a while as a guy. My eyes, my hair. I had my athletic jogger pants (I run a lot) complimented by a really good looking and fit mid 40s latina woman I work with and she paid for 2 coffees for me twice and didn’t need to pay her back. She also complimented my shoes too. Idk if she really likes me that way tho. I can get really good matches on dating apps from time to time. But I am still single. I get complimented for my eyes and my hair (blonde hair and blue eyes) by women my age from time to time. Idk what mirroring really looks like. Im still single :(
I mean, I got the last one, but that’s about it 😂
For me speaking slowly and being direct when speaking to a woman is very powerful.
I watched Queer Eye for the Straight Guy in highschool and they told me to put suntan lotion on every day. I'm now 35 and when I look around at my peers, I'm very glad I did so.
Sunblock or tanning lotion? There is a difference.
I recently had someone come into my gym 3 hours earlier than he normally would to meet me. He always sees my name on the sign in sheet at around 5am every day. So he came in at 5am one day just to meet me.
I think your channel and the things you taught me about me being a woman and realizing the beauty of finding someone truly special to yourself. Not for sex or things like that but for love, saved me from the last guy I dated.
I was in a very bad relationship that was toxic and abusive in all kinds of ways. Got to the point were I was at the ER a few times a week because of him. I had low to zero self respect. I hated myself so much that the abuse he did to me felt deserving. Im 23 years old and all of this happened about 3 years ago, since then it’s been hard to date and I was really struggling after I left and he went to jail. I did things I’m not proud of , I got into drugs, drinking a lot, and fell into prostitution. I was in a dark place and I was really really struggling.
I came across your channel about 2 years ago during the same time of the drug, drinking, prostitution etc-and fell almost in love with your confidence and the confidence you have knowing your self worth. It sort of shifted me into a different perspective towards myself. Your videos helped me improve the view I had of not only myself but your own self worth and the love you have for yourself as well.
I stoped drinking, stoped doing drugs, I didn’t go to parties with the people I did before got a job, got my education back on track. And in the same time span I met my future husband who I’m engaged to. And we actually met at a bus-stop (how romantic hahaha )
We always took the same bus at the same time cause I worked at the supermarket and he worked at the the restaurant directly across the street. He asked me out and now 2 years later we’re engaged. I was very open with him form the starts the things I went through and how my life was I didn’t want to hide anything, learned that from your channel actually that it’s important to be honest.
I mean it hasn’t been easy, but we made it work. We talked a lot trying to be honest with each other and really growing with each other not against each other. We worked together to be together. So I wanted to just thank you, even if you don’t read it I wanted to write and tell how much this channel and how you helped me turn my life around 😊
Every time I go to the same restaurant. The cook always calls me “Pretty” even the workers calls me pretty. (Every single time) so I guess I’m attractive than I think.
Tiege Hanley - that's what I've been missing, that's what I need. Ladies, here I come. With Tiege Hanley. Are you ready for it?
I like the fifth one the most! It's true, especially for guys.
I was told I have good boundaries...and yes, I see what you mean.
This definitely is going to have me be looking out more
Always dropping gems👏
In Psychology, it's "Self-Actualization" you talk about. Unfortunately in many instances, it's another psychologic theory: "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy" --after continuous negative experiences that generate a negative feeling about oneself, continually reinforced, leads the person to actually think negative thoughts about oneself and to act accordingly, in the negative way. If you continually treat a person as inferior(creep), from continued negative comments and actions, don't be surprised if he starts acting as an inferior. Also called the Pygmalion effect from the fictional work( in a positive sense), when a peasant woman selling flowers is treated as a noble lady, and she eventually becomes a noble lady.
I've always been a low-profile guy. Growing up all I cared about about was playing video games in my spare time (which I do know regret). Being shy, quiet and not a sports guy, I was unconfident and thus was not keen on going to parties until I was 17 or so. I am 26, now, and despite having changed (take care of my appearance, and practice sports) I do still have reserves concerning me that prevent me, for example, to get to woman I am into and talk to her without messing it up.
For example, my tone of voice (which is not deep) and the fact that I do not look as old as I am.
Another sign, as strange as it may sound but it is true, is that you rarely or never receive compliments. The reason behind this is because people may already think you know how attractive you truly are and don't feel the need to compliment you.
My mom and my grandma say I’m really handsome. No one else has said that to me. Must be true. 😂😂😂😂
Im an attorney so I don’t really know about the questions and opinions thing. People use me 😂😂😂🤷🏻♂️
Let's go guys! Apart from the last point, which is kinda useless, I fail all other four! Yay for me!
While I appreciate your optimistic outlook on these kinds of things I feel inclined to point out that men, generally speaking, rarely receive compliments of almost any kind. I can honestly count on one hand the number of times I have received a genuine compliment for my looks in my entire life(three of which I can still remember despite the most recent one being more than a decade ago) and I think I'm somewhere around average looking. I've chatted with my friends about this and have heard essentially identical stories from basically all of them. It doesn't bother me but it sounds so strangely naive that anybody who truly does get any kind of regular compliments might not actually know how attractive they are... I think your perspective likely just shows the difference between the male and female experience. It's so incredibly different that it likely seems impossible to understand in some ways. Just my two cents.
great, as a 5'1 27 year old male, none of those 5 things ever happened to me... kms
Not even #5?
6'3 here, 37yo
None except #5 is true for me as well. But heck ... my hobbies are reading and watching series. *sadface
@@sm5574 Nope, I dont have money for hobbies and women avoid me when I go outside and I try to talk to them.
@@gnarlsdarkley That would be my hobbies too but I think in the video was meant about some hobbies that makes you interesting like snowboarding, skiing, being an entrepreneur, do some instruments, basejumping, "travelling", etc. As an introvert i do none of these. I like to watch my movies and I dont understand why this isnt enough for women.
@@peterwilliam4044 As for the why it isn't "enough" because it's boring. I know it is. But pretending to be someone who you are not isn't going to work out either
No one complements men. Not even other men, but especially not women.
I actually received a few last week when I went out, from men and women. I make it a point to be smiling when I enter the room, make eye contact with everyone and engage in chit chat with as many of them as possible
Here in Boca raton, most women are looking for a tall rich guy that throws money around.... it doesn't help me that I am a short 5' 6".
That's not Boca mate, that's everywhere.
Last time I received a compliment was about 5 years ago (give or take).
Last time someone wanted me to assume a leading role in a "group" did not end well. It was about 7 years ago. I threatened to resign.
I can rarely read other person's body language, so I cannot know if anyone is mirroring my body language.
People are typically afraid to hear my opinions, they don't ask me questions unless they have no choice.
Well... most of use have hobbies...
1. Compliments: people only compliment my hair
2. People value my opinion: yes because i’m “smarter” not attractive
3. People mirror my body language: because i’m usually the one doing the right things while they are confused on what to do
4. People ask you many questions: yes because i ask those same people many many questions prior
5. Hobbies and Interests: i have TONS
The thing about attractive men that most people don't talk about and is something we are constantly on the receiving end off is people's negative assumptions about us specially women. I can't count the amount of times I've gotten the cold shoulder from people just because of my looks. Men throw hissy fits and cheap shots while women are always assuming and thinking negatively about attractive guys. For me, approaching women feels unnatural because I'm not used to it and when I do it I gets awkward from the get go. And you can't even show genuine interest because you come off as needy so is like a lose-lose situation we are in. You can be attractive and still have a hard time.
Well, not to be too harsh but, being attractive or over the medium, is a heck of a lot better than not. Yes, attractive guys can also have problems and difficulties with approaching, that mostly comes from themselves. But, again, I rather be generally attractive than ugly. And, I'm guessing that is a _problem_ many, many guys would like to have.
Good luck to you.
This has been my experience as well. Many women default to assuming you're a player and can be incredibly rude to you even as a total stranger. Men, especially with a bit of alcohol in them try to start fights all the time. I've been randomly attacked multiple times in bar scenes. I'm not trying to brag or anything but I've been approached by modeling agencies out in public just to give perspective. It sounds dumb but doing the hold-the-door-open for someone test you can really sense it. Just a common courtesy and I can get scoffs, eye rolls, or flat out ignored doing so. It's so odd how people assume you have life on easy mode if you just look good so they go out of their way to make yours difficult.
@@enemy1134 That can be rough, I’m sure. People should never treat other differently by simply looking at them. Prejudice is awful for anyone.
Saying that, I’m guessing your looks are not all a complete bane of existence? Best of luck!
@@enemy1134 i also experienced the same thing.
But what I also often see is guys looking to me in a public setting espacially if they are out with their girlfriend.
I also feel like its because they feel a certain competetion lookswise when it comes down to the dating game.
I have medium-long curly hair, and I work at a cafe where I receive compliments about my curls almost daily. While I appreciate the kind words, I’ve started to feel like my hair is the only notable thing about me.
It's not, they're using your hair to break the ice
Studies have shown attractive people get less compliments on there appearance at least. The theory behind it is people thonk they know they look good already.
compliments: rarely, if ever.
opinions: yea, only because I'm smart
mirror: not that I've noticed
asking questions: yea, but only when they want my help
hobbies: not many and mostly introverted stuff
so i guess I'm not more attractive than i thought i was
I’m pretty sure I’m attractive at least mildly but I never get compliments. Idk if it’s a regional thing but I think people don’t talk to each other much.
Well my formula for my success has been 'If you can't be handsome at least be handy' ! LOL.
People only look to me when it comes to fixing a car or something in the house. When it comes to hobbies, well, every time I bring up my book that I wrote and how long it took me to write it, every woman stops talking to me. Is it wrong to show that I remained dedicated to completing something and have plans for more books?
I'd say that, generally speaking, there are certain hobbies that women value a lot more than others. Any hobby that they consider boring/nerdy, chances are they won't care for it. If the hobby is going to the gym, or something music related, they will show a lot more interest, even if the guy in question is just bland.
At the end of the day, it kinda works like beauty standards, where something as basic as a jaw line can make a huge difference, for some reason.
Just enjoy what you do, and wait for someone who actually cares for your hobbies.
Have you ever attempted talking to women in a library or book store? Book clubs? If that’s what you enjoy, that sounds like where you’d find someone with similar interests
Thanks for this content. I've really taken benefits from you courtney ❤👍
My Girlfriend from High School Ghosted me. Ghosting Hurts So Much, I wish I Knew It 😢
I've Still Not Cured After 13 Years 🤧 I'm done With Life 😞
Confidence and security are the most attractive traits I've found people appreciate in me recently. I've always had confidence issues due to upbringing and childhood trauma but when exposed to a new environment in college and social gatherings, people thought I was confident and attractive.
People can see the stiffness and awkwardness in you. Maybe if you're struggling like I did, try not to affirm your struggles and hide them. Slowly but surely you'll get to a very liberating confidence. Think positive thoughts only, and nip the negative ones immediately. Be critical about yourself, but do no beat yourself up. Bring yourself up.
We all got this trying to be better :))
P.S. this means no more/ much less of self deprecating humor :))
Love your advice and comments listen a lot to you ,thanks Courtney 😮God Bless you ❤
First of all, I can honestly say I would never be accused of being an attractive gentleman, secondly, there have been some infrequent and far-in-between instances when a compliment was thrown my way...one occasion my female eye doctor asked me if I felt as good as I look, but I believe that was about my elderly age, and the other occasion goes back several years when a close friend of my mother told her that I was the black version of Cary Grant, so I take them when and where ever I can get a compliment thanks for sharing this video👌🏾👍🏾
I keep my standards pretty low, so I'm never disappointed! 😀
I don't think Courtney Ryan is talking about Men here. 😀😀😀
As a young man if I heard a pack of girls giggling behind me, I automatically assumed they were making fun of me and would immediately become irate - but keep it buried inside, maintain a poker face, and try to get out of there and go somewhere private to recover, perhaps cry to release the emotions and feelings of shame. This was a result of low self esteem instilled from a very young age - mainly from my own family - and my deeply ingrained belief that no girl would ever like me, so all interactions with girls were taken in a negative light. It wasn't until my mid-40s when I started watching coaches like this that I realized girls have tried to approach me for decades but I never understood it, and instead either were confused as to why they were talking to me or viewed their actions with deep suspicion and hostility. Slowly over the last few years I came to realize I actually have a certain level of "pretty privilege" as I increased my awareness of social cues, but all these years just assumed I was not very attractive because that's was I led to believe as a child.
I guess “6/10” could be taken as a compliment? In a perfect world, I’m good looking
1. The only compliment I remember receiving was that I have a nose like a Greek god (or statue? one of the two, but it's basically the same thing).
It was from an older classmate who was in a relationship with another classmate (evening school, people of all ages there, even one 50+ guy).
2. People sometimes do value my opinion more, but only at work. I am practically always the most logical person in the room, but apparently I suck at conveying my point in a way that compels others... most of the time, anyway. And my opinions are often strong and thus polarizing.
3. Haven't noticed others copying me, but I don't really look at other people unless they're on stage, and even then only if they're performing something; if they're only talking, then I just listen without looking right at them.
4. Rarely does anyone ask me questions, I presume it's because I tend to talk a lot in such cases. I just want to convey my point as precisely as possible to avoid any confusion or misunderstandings, but alas...
5. My hobby is learning, but I do that via the internet, which isn't interesting to other people. Has to be said that people only really find interesting the kinds of hobbies where you do something with your hands, and I don't really have any such hobbies. I have some interests, like cycling or hiking, but I rarely practice them.
My passions are nature, art, music, truth.
As for activities - none that matter. I know this is a major issue, but I just don't feel like doing much most of the time. I exercise at home just enough to keep fit, but that's about it. I have thought about doing all kinds of stuff, but never have the motivation to actually start anything.
I always get compliments from people whenever I wear my suit and tie.
Build confidence through intrinsic worth and self-discipline! Amen!
My attractive female neighbor is completely paranoid ...
She thinks I'm following or even stalking her ...
She is worried that I may be obsessed with her and any time she hears a noise in her house she is purified ... or petrified...
Sorry, it's not easy reading her new blog entry through binoculars from a tree ...
* Moscow, Russia