You just lost 1 thing. Its women talking, they are not looking for their actions but they words. They will aways virtue signaling. From the mouth of women when the subject its relationship only comes lies. In the real world just see how they act. Women are far more draw by to apparence than men looks its top period. They are the definition of shallow. In the real world apparence = personality for women.
For wearing red I think the easiest examples are in accents. Like a red power tie (not a cheap solid red but a nice red pattered tie) with a navy suit. Or in clothing in the red family. Buffalo check flannels, burgundy t shirt/sweater/Henley etc
Hey Courtney I have a Question, when dating as a man It kinda feels like there’s pressure to 1) Make the first move 2) Keep the conversation going 3) Pay for and come up with ideas for the first and futures dates 4) Make sure she feels protected 5) Make sure you as the guy exude confidence even when you have no idea what you’re doing 6) Make sure she’s treated right every day and especially on Valentine’s Day 7) Make sure you do something special for your anniversary 8) Gifts 9) Not to mention pay for the engagement ring, wedding, house xyz I feel like mens role are pretty laid out and are kinda known by both, but What roles do women have in relationships these days?
What roles women play is heavily depended on her cultural background and surrounding role models from her upbringing. Are you asking about American women? If so, this is very different from roles of women from 3rd world countries.
They are the prize. Trust me , they are worth it. I mean, just look at them, they are so sexy. Sorry could help being sarcastic in case you didn't realise lol. I am in the UK and I'm old , married and not interested in these silly entitled girls, I married a girl that didn't have a huge body count, had prospects in her own career path and was into the same things as me, ie walking , bike rides, badminton, dogs. Looks fade and quite fast with some women, Use the correct head when and if you bother choosing a partner in life.
@@1SmokingLizard true because I have a Filipina girlfriend and she wants to cook , clean, buy me gifts , etc , totally different from the majority of women in America. She even said if money ever ran out she’d still be there. I wish All women had the same mindset
@@introvertdude99 Yep. Same here except I had an American Filipino (GF to Wife to ExWife of almost 19 cumulative years together) which meant she was split on the customs of roles she played in the family unit. Too bad the Americana lifestyle and modern day culturalism stole her former identity.
It all boils down to: be authentic. You’ll never be everyone’s type, so you might as well be who you most intuitively strive to be, and then max that out indefinitely. That covers all the virtues (honesty, truth, etc.) and leads to the tangibles (pursuing your purpose, staying healthy, etc.)
I have never had a woman react positively to vulnerability. Most react poorly if I even mention that I'm having an issue and I never even get the chance to be vulnerable.
I think passion is a big factor as well. Whether a guy is into everyday stuff like cooking or landscaping or more personal things like art or music, women like to see a guy who's passionate about something. It's much easier to start convos when you're constantly keeping your brain active, to an extent of course.
#1. Direct and decisive. Works great, until it doesn’t. My ex wife claimed to love everything about me, until slowly but surely she became very contrary to anything and everything I decided, to a point where I’m convinced she said she didn’t agree even if deep down she really did. Things to pay attention to, saving serious problems down the road.
One thing I would think regarding the dating within your league is that if you are not happy with your current situation, upgrade yourself. It’s unrealistic as a guy to let yourself go but expect gorgeous women to flock. If you want hot girls, you will need to lift, dress better, carry yourself more attactively and become a hot guy yourself. Many women/men get caught up in how to find their dream partner, but we need to consider if we would be our dream partner’s dream partner.
Bullshit, I bartend, hit the gym, I’m in a band, write my own songs, sing at karaoke and make BANK and it still doesn’t attract women, they are all either married or taken, stop fooling people with your bullshit.
@Jay Bee I had plenty of women speak to me before, today bartending and attacking me for nothing, don’t expect my pity, you’re on a screen, nothin in person, fuckin don’t act as if you know me.
The crazy thing is the average looking woman doesn’t want the average looking guy. The average woman is overweight and so is the guy but ofcourse she only dates or has sex with the guy who is in shape. This is where things get skewed. Once the average woman has had sex with someone who is on a higher level than her she feels entitled to a guy at that level for a relationship. Sadly that guy will not stick around longer than it takes to be done with the sex. These same women will “settle” with some regular guy and then withhold sex from him because he isn’t the chiseled god that used to fuck her. Lol
@@GabrielXDrums I don’t know you, so can’t comment, but you never directly addressed my point which is that handling those issues will make you more attractive. I doubt everyone around you is married, unless you live in a sub-5k people small town where you may not know anyone. Even then, if you live in a place with very little single people, the best you can do is to make yourself competent.
One thing I didn't expect when I learnt to dance was that I was attracted to women when I danced with them. Not necessarily before. Their physicality and 'chemistry' became much more apparent in the closeness of dance. It's not all looks! How someone moves can be very sensual.
I was dating a girl recently and one night we hung out with two of her cousins. I remember her and her cousin both telling me they felt safe being around me. She said she really liked that about me but didn’t like the fact that I called her out on something which made her deflect and accused me of being clingy lol 😒
Courtney, I think what you are doing is really positive, but the sad reality is that too many women have unbelievable expectations. Women need to start taking a serious look in the mirror and work on their inside first before the outside(physical). It’s important to keep in good physical shape, but you know that 95% of women depend on their looks to catch a man…. It does not work for anything long-term or healthy. And still, too many women neglect their mental and spiritual aspects of their personalities.
@Jay Bee Yes, men and women both need to look in the mirror. And the men and women that are complaining about not being able to find a decent girlfriend or boyfriend need to say the following words in the mirror every day - “Instagram is toxic ! Tik Tok is toxic ! Tinder is toxic ! ALL DATING APPS ARE TOXIC ! “ I met my wife at a gas station. We saw each other with our own eyes ! We heard each other with our own ears ! Instagram and dating APPS deliberately encourage RIDICULOUS expectations. Single men and women need to get some courage and talk to a women or a man in the grocery store, or at the gas station. The problem is that too many 20,30,40 and 50 something’s are too proud to humble themselves to say a simple “hello”. There is no perfect man or women on the planet. Physical beauty fades eventually. My grandmother told me long ago that my grandfather became extremely handsome to her as the years went by…. That’s REAL LOVE !
@@jimmy2591 for me it’s not pride that prevents me from saying hello. It is concern that I will be viewed as a creep, and reported as such. This fear is also coupled with this ‘understanding’ 1. If a woman is at the gym she is there to work on herself *not to be eye candy for anyone* 2. If a woman is in a grocery store then she is there to get what she needs and leaves, *not to have conversation with men.* 3. If a woman is anywhere else in the world then she is either married, dating, or completely not interested. These are the three principles men _must_ follow in todays world. Women have stated multiple times that they do not like to be cold approached. They have made these statements often and vociferously on any and all social media they possess. The game changed, men adapted to the expectations of the new game, or they saw it for what it is and stopped playing.
Nice to see a vid that seems to be backed by science. The one that confuses me, though, is the one about sharing your emotions. I believe Corey Wayne touched on the subject by saying to never make your woman your mother or therapist. Part of the reason behind this is that if a man seeks emotional comfort from his woman, it shows that he doesn’t have to the confidence to find a solution or at least be able to overcome his problems. So, it seems like it would be difficult to share your emotions with your woman without coming off as a man who doesn’t know how to manage the emotional difficulties in his life.
I agree with what you're saying, and I think that in addition to sharing the emotions and vulnerability, we also need to bring with that the actual solution you refer to, and confidence we will achieve it, as she actually witnesses us working to achieve it. If we fail to achieve it, being "butt hurt" will make us look like wimps, so ya gotta be like 🤷♂️ and implement the plan for "resolution 2." Persistence eventually leads to payoff, and those who disagree with that statement are not only cynical, but insecure and lack confidence.
you are right can't loose control of your emotions.....now it's not fair because women tend to be the ones who can't control their emotions but that's life.....and obviously it's not all women probably more often it's the women with some type of damage...and try to find one that doesn't have at least a little damage...won't happen
Sharing your emotions is not losing control of your emotions. You feel them. Work them out in silence. Or with the boys. Another female friend if you have one. Then you *share* them with your woman (when applicable) with understanding and stoicism, instead of acting irrationally on them. They want to know what we think and feel. They just don't want to see us "feel" it. Best way I can put it.
I have a good friend who used to be a master pick up artists and followed a guy named Mystery who talked that female to male attraction was based off of four things. Listening to Courtney, Jordan Peterson, and a reading a number of books have all said or hinted at the same things. 1. Leader of men 2. Protector of loved ones 3. Strong identity with the ability to emote accordingly 4. Preselection among other women
@Jay Bee Thanks for your thoughts! When I say leader men to clarify it doesn't have to mean they're the Quarterback or a CEO, but as the Engineer who works for him giving your example, he could be someone who gives good advice to friends that helps, or someone who takes charge of plans when he out with friends, or teachers other a useful skill, those are other basic examples of being a, "leader of men," not necessarily holding a position but being someone other guys look up to in some way.
@@11tkohtz Yea, admittedly it was not that great. The book is a good guide if all you want is a few tricks to get laid after bar encounters, but I don’t think that’s what most men truly want.
I read a book called attract and keep her by Jim Wolfe. He says the 4 traits women are attracted to are 1. Internal value 2. Internal strength 3. Preselection 4. Being a Challenge
Courtney’s commitment to providing real data instead of gratuitous shit (click bait) is what makes her one of the best on here. I still wish she would do a more mature version of what women are attracted to rather than just her age group. 30s & 40s women are a different demographic entirely than the 20s (age group) going out to clubs and bars every weekend.
One of the Simplest known reactions to know if a woman is interested is when you make eye contact she looks away then looks back in I think it was about a minute. So, don't stop looking at her. Then if you get the look... its your move what you do with it is up to you.
Men do not I repeat DO NOT!!! Be vulnerable One thing I’ve learned is women do know what they want but they are emotional and what they want changes with their emotions, which are completely different every single day.
lmfao SHIT ADVICE MATE if you are not alllowed to be vulnerable with your SO it will destroy your relationship. you eventually will reach a limit when all the bottled up emotions come out at once. I did it and lost the girl i loved like no other because she said i hate insane anger issues which i have not. I just ignored it but at one point enough is enough
It can't be stressed enough how important it is to be a man that's straightforward, honest, and decisive. Society can influence women to be more "strong and independent" all they want, but most women defer to men in situations where decisions have to be made and that's in the workplace and in life in general. When you're clear and concise in your communication and decisions, you're already more attractive than the average man today.
Yeah well that's a lot of fucking pressure to always be the one carrying the burden of honesty and decisiveness. Why should men have to shoulder that burden entirely in a relationship? Also, if women claim to want men that don't try to control them or tell them what to do, then women should stay away from looking for men that are too quick to take charge of a situation because the woman runs the risk of the man not having the discernment to know when it's ok to be in charge and when it isn't.
I work as a hospital nurse in the ICU where I am tasked to respond to patient emergencies occurring throughout the hospital. As a nurse doing this, I have to be decisive, proactive, stay calm, and work efficiently. I have to work closely with that nurse taking care of that patient. I get to work with many female nurses. NONE have shown any interest in me...none. I'm polite and kind to them and I get no hint that I'm attractive to any of them. For critics who say that I have to get out of the workplace and find women somewhere else, I understand, but females are females no matter the place. What Courtney has said in this video is true but only if the guy is FIRST attractive. If he's not attractive, then everything Courtney has said means nothing, and I'm living proof of this. I'm short (5'8") and have the body of a nerd, not masculine-looking like the guys most women want. If you're not attractive to begin with, these traits mean nothing.
Studies have shown that women generally care significantly less about looks than men do, although they are equally as important for superficial first impressions. Some women want to be directly courted. Others may want a man who makes as much money or more than them. Attraction has become more nuanced in the modern world since we have parted from Neolithic age.
Don't worry about being short. Think about the advantages you offer anatomically. Tall, pale freckles is my type physically. I am 5'10.5". My shortest boyfriend was 5'10". I could have done missionary with him forever because of how perfectly we aligned anatomically. Girls who only want 6' or taller were never your audience anyway. Don't play to them. BTW nerdy guys are hot!
Out Of Her League. You ain’t handsome and sexy it’s over. She’s a 9 and you’re a hard 5,,,,if you are in a band that gets you a 6.5-, maybe. Life is cruel and it will always be that way. Go listen to Janis Ian, At Seventeen..
Courtney - this is a great list, however, the "talk about your feelings" can be tricky. I've dated women in the past who were okay for me to talk about my feelings, and others who thought it was a sign of weakness. I guess it depends upon the women I guess (perhaps the manner in which I convey my thoughts as well). You do great work.... I always get something out of your channel. Tale care and have a wonderful Summer!
Depends on how you go about talking about it. If you’re expressing how you feel so you’re on the same page and your communication is in sync then it’s not really bad. If you are expressing how you feel in a way that is whiny or complaining then it’s a turn off. It’s a slippery slope so just be careful about it and don’t do it too often. Talk about your feelings to reconnect with her. That’s about it.
If you can't talk about your feelings with her, then she never liked you for you. Talking about feelings is the foundation of a good relationship where two people keep communication with each other.
There is also a difference between being kind and being nice. Being kind is more genuine, where as being nice is what "nice guys" do to gain something from the woman. Remember this boys.
I think city, suburban, rural plays a part, also. I've seen perception bias from both men and women to where someone lives playing a role in interest and attractiveness. People tend to want to stay within their own culture. It's happened to me personally also.
The part about women's selection being based on their own attractiveness is really interesting. Generally, from what I understand from my social circle, women nowadays often overestimate their own attractiveness. Maybe this is part of the reason that there are more singles and less couples nowadays compared to 30ish years ago
This was probably one of your best videos yet. Much of the video, especially the second half, presents "research based facts," which goes way beyond "gut instincts" and is the farthest thing from fiction you can get. Well researched findings which form a concrete basis in fact. We thank you for your effort in bringing this important work to us.
I wish there was a channel like this for those of us over 55. A lot of this is geared towards having marriage and raising a family as a goal. Those things don't exist for singles of an older age group.
Yes and no I’m my opinion. If you have no social skills and don’t know how to banter and flirt with a girl then all the traits you mentioned won’t really matter. But yes having those things definitely helps if you good “game” to go along with it
This was so good, Courtney. SPOT on. Good indication, guys, that these traits attract across the generations. Well done. I agree that we cannot ignore our evolutionary and biological wiring (if we like it, or not).
@@CourtneyRyan God bless you 999 trillion times more. I hope God gives you what ever you are looking for. Its such a crazy world. Could you just imagine how much you do not even know!! [ There could interesting plot twists out there- I feel like Alexander Dumas with the count of Monte Cristo.] The element of perception is a very interesting element indeed. You are beautiful- use your good judgment to stay that way. God bless you and I hope you have a very beautiful and wonderful life.
Good video, Courtney! I think in terms of the mano-sphere not liking the article about expressing emotions, it's more about how you express those emotions in front of women. Nobody is going to say a man is weak if he expresses emotions relating to the death of a partner, a parent, a child or a close friend, it's about not losing your emotional balance over menial stuff in life - that's the thing that's not attractive.
Hey Courtney, thank you for giving us men these tips. Can you please make a video about maintaining eye contact with a woman? I genuinely had that problem during watching this video, which is not your fault, but this is a problem I've had for a while. I work from home and don't see many women, other than dates, but that becomes a problem, my 'gazing' or glancing. I don't stare, but I feel awkward when I look and she notices. I would appreciate any advice and I'm sure other men are in the same boat!
Very interesting, a great overview. Not sure about the "stay within your league" advice, simply because most people have not that much of an idea what their league is, and because it is hard to know what the other person finds attractive. I personally don't care what color hair a woman has, but her voice factors in a lot. I'm sure women have odd preferences that even out in a statistic, but not necessarily on an individual level. As far as vulnerability is concerned, I still believe women like an empathetic man, but not necessarily a sensitive one.
@Jay Bee Well, even wealth is just one dimension of several. And even here many people can't see clearly. I think that many people respond to financial matters emotionally and not rationally. Rationally, you also have nothing to lose when approaching that attractive woman.
Vulnerability is sexy? That is BS. I don't show my feelings or vulnerability anymore because I've been burned too many times. I know that some women aren't like that and won't shame me, but why risk it? All this advice is really not targeted at men like me because I'm not in the group of men that this could work for. For a guy like me, marriage or a relationship is an insane risk because there will always be the next best thing waiting around the corner. Also, the "you date the guy with the sixpack but marry the guy with the dad bod" just sounds like settling. No man wants to feel like he's the 50th choice, and it is not a good feeling.
@@Ross-ve9ww It’s not overthinking when it has happened literally every single time I opened up to a girl. And the divorce rates plus how a man is treated in custody battles that it’s just not worth the pain. I wish it was different but times have changed.
As someone who’s been in a relationship for over 17 yrs, I don’t understand how this vulnerability thing is a turn off. Can you be more specific or give me an example? I may not be seeing it with my husband but he shares a lot with me and we talk a lot and I’m still hot for him lol. I know I may be the exception but I need to know these things so I can understand it.
As a woman; yep decisive helps! I don't get a lot of dates, but when I do get asked, the guys don't know what to do or where to go! I end up having to pick a place, book it, set the time, make provisions for them being late and lately also pay for them. It feels like I'm not worth any effort if someone rocks up 30 mins late and doesn't seem to notice! I do like financially stable men (not rich, but someone my equivalent) so that it doesn't feel like I'm the one who has to pick up the tab all the time! Confidence is very attractive but sense of humour gets me very interested. Lately I found that I like some guys who constantly challenged my views without being aggressive but open my eyes to other people's s thoughts. I know a lot of men who would argue with the german report, but I agree with it. I honestly have never dated men I'm physically attracted to because I became attracted to them based on their sense of humour and other traits. I don't feel as if I have more options though as I am not an attractive women by most men's standards. I generally would prefer someone easy going who made me laugh than someone with a 6 pack and chiseled jawline. The light beard is also very attractive. I never used to find it hot but lately it's become very attractive especially the older I get. In younger years, I liked clean shaven.
I really like the way Courtney will makes the point in several of her videos that improvements in the way you live are really for your own well-being, even though this also attracts women. She does this here when giving the advice to have a purpose. Courtney's videos offer advice on how to attract women, but often they are also about self-improvement, which is good for your all-around well--being. Thumbs up for that.
The Power of Red. This is a color representing masculine energy. It stimulates appetite, and also other physical senses like sexual passion. It increases the metabolism rate and blood pressure. It magnifies and intensifies the object, and is attention-grabbing. It provokes the senses and makes a person react faster.
Yeah guys if you aren't waking up raging stiff, your testosterone is plummeting or is being interfered with. I've heard constipation and a full bladder can influence performance so diet, exercise&stress reduction help those two, meaning they can help performance. Remember, testosterone makes effort feel good
Being doing this from last 6 years ...lmao this is bs advice is sick ....dooomers gona belive this bs and follow this advice hoping to attract some women one day , but it's not true and when they realise the truth it's very late ... Work out , meditate, bring ethics to your life , love your mom and dad , be gentleman don't do these with expectations like women will get attracted to you one day .! Do these to be a good human being
@@Theviewerdude good! That healthy cholesterol helps the production of testosterone. Happy for ya! (And your callers hahahahaha) I'm in my early 30s and I've never missed a morninf
I hear ya - Joseph! Great tips - and speaking of “Testosterone…” If you want to increase your “Testosterone” levels, then you must… -Exercise, and start Lifting Weight, it definitely helps! -Try getting some Sun, or just take Vitamin D, you’ll see what happens! -Get some High Quality Sleep at night, and make sure you get a lot of Rest! -And lastly, Eat Protein, Fat and Carbs, and soon, you’ll start seeing a big difference! There are more things you could do, of course - but these should get you started! Good luck! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
She needs to be young and beautiful, or we (men) wouldn’t look twice at her. It’s hard for women, too. And they can’t exactly do much about aging. Women want protection and provision (for her and her offspring); men want pussy (that is young and beautiful, i.e. fertile and healthy). This is how humans (and many other animals) have always reproduced, and is still the case today. I really don’t understand why men (not all men!) seem to resent women for being attracted to men with money. Unless you plan on building her a shelter, hunting wildebeest to feed her, and guarding her from bears, then your resources (money) are how you will protect and provide for her. And in exchange, we get what we want: pussy (forgive the vulgarity, but it’s true). The more you are able to protect and provide (i.e. the more status/success/wealth you have), the younger and more beautiful the women you are able to attract. It’s not a complex equation. If you think this sounds transactional…well, it is. But (almost) all human relationships are transactional. Why is this a bad thing? Consider the alternative: a _completely_ one-sided relationship, where you do _everything_ for a person, and they give you _nothing_ in return. Isn’t that far worse than a two-way, mutually-beneficial, “transactional” relationship? Listen, if you don’t have money, it’s fine. I’m not here to criticise anyone. I’ve had a very privileged upbringing (along with my own successes, and failures, along the way), so I am in no position to judge anyone. But if you don’t have money, either better yourself, or lower your expectations (or give up on dating entirely - also a valid choice). If you’re a 5, don’t expect to date 8s and 9s. Expect to date 5s (or below). Women _never_ fuck down. And why should they? They don’t “owe” us anything. I will not be taking questions at this time.
Key note about societal pressures: it doesn’t like it when men discuss emotion. It’s been ground into most of our lives that if we open up it’ll just become a burden on others, and we’re better off bottling it up. Most accept it as a “it is what it is” thing, and don’t get help until they become a statistic. I dated a girl in high school that was confused about it, and it took a half hour and half my friend group to be able to come up with words to explain it, and she honestly didn’t know that was a thing. So do I think talking about emotions is bad? No. It’s a way of possibly releasing something that you need to say, especially with a significant other. But bottling up completely will make pressure build until the guy finally breaks. It’s a necessity to have at least one person in your life that you can trust with yours.
Hey Courtney, I've been watching your videos for the past few weeks and I really like the advice you give. I'd really appreciate if you could answer a question of mine. I feel like when it comes to modern dating post school years it's really hard to expand your social circle. Typically people are very busy either with work or other obligations so the chances of two people coincidentally having free time to hang out and get to know each other is pretty slim. I have tried online dating but I have had no success with it. In person I have anxiety approaching girls that I find attractive because I'm usually at a coffee shop (and they're working) or at a gym where everyone has earphones on. And I don't really know how to start something with just that initial attraction. So my question is this. Where can I go in person to meet girls nowadays and how should I start talking to them?
I'm no Courtney lol but I guess a good start is actively leaving your social circle, try a new hobby or do a new language course or something like that.
If a girl is working at a coffee shop or something don't ask them out unless you are friends with them before is my opinion. (You have fun with small talk) Same goes for the gym. It's less pressure and you come off less as a weirdo if there is some connection. As far as spontaneously meeting people, join a group activity. You can even do this at a gym, whether its a cycling or crossfit class. Girls love these classes as well. Doing recreational sports or other activities are great.
@@rod6722 pls stop this bs ... Iam a College team football player I hit gym when i was 17 now iam 21 still continuing Hitting gym won't change your genetics, or transform you into a Greek god which make women go mad Hit gym lift weights and make yourself satisfied and happy , Don't hit gym with these wierd expectations linked to women
@@ashwinach_zz5195 I don't disagree with anything you said. Sure, attracting women shouldn't be the only reason you hit the gym. And it won't change the genetic factors you can't control. All I'm saying is that having a stronger and healthier body makes you more attractive, that's just a fact.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about what women are attracted to, is that they all have different tastes in men. As a man, it’s more important to be yourself - and practice being the best version of yourself - than trying to be something you’re not in order to attract a certain type of girl. You can’t control who is attracted to you, but you can control what you do in order to attract women in general.
True, sort of. Look, there are some pretty universal factors to attract women. Looks, money, physique rarely hurts. HOWEVER, women also know, when trying to lock down a guy, that if they aim too high they can run into problems. Will the guy be faithful to them short or long term? So while hypergamy dictates that women ARE attracted to men of equal or higher SMV, they also know that high SMV guys can be intimidating. Again, this comes back to the dual nature of female attraction, arousal and comfort. Yes, Billionaire Giga-Chad can be highly arousing, but he's low on the comfort metric. She's going to struggle to lock him down and women DON'T LIKE TO SHARE. So there are self imposed limits to a woman's hypergamy if she's got some self discipline.
@@jleano609 dropping facts! All women have those core traits they look for and all the other +’s is dependent on the woman and her preferences, environmental influence, history etc Are you making content? That would be awesome 😎
@@Nah-ah thanks for the kind words, you likewise provide a valuable perspective from the woman’s side. No I’ve never really thought about providing online content. I do informally coach young guys along side my more formal role as a judo coach. They need guidance on and off the mat in muscles/money/game/frame. The most important thing that comes up again and again is to approach and build social skills with girls. Guys nowadays are way too shy.
Great tips! I agree… Women tend to like guys with a particular trait or traits… for instance, women like men who lead, who are decisive, they like to feel protected, and taken care of in the relationship. Men are supposed to be leaders, if she’s the one leading, it’ll just be a matter of time before she leaves you for another man - who knows how to lead! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
@Jay Bee Society also tells woman to be more masculine while at the same time pushing the concept of 'toxic masculinity' to weaken men. Men aren't wired to like masculine women either. This is why the West will continue its demise with a rapid decline in birth rates.
Really enjoying your channel, Courtney - you're sensible and authentic. You've confirmed that I've been doing many things correctly, which is a great additional confidence boost, but I've also been learning and getting new perspectives from you some of your guests. Keep it up!
Appreciate the way you deliver the findings of controlled studies and then gift the veiwer with your honest and truthful opinion. Breath of fresh air 😊
Its very encouraging to hear that sharing your honest feelings with a woman you care for is not viewed as a negative. Of course its important to build on a friendship first so as not to overwhelm the lady , but Rambo i will never be .haha
The purpose topic is the greatest power a man can have. If you put your lady as your purpose; you are going to lose her. Your purpose must come first. Then the lady is the icing on the cake.
One thing over looked ALL THE TIME is "Compatibility!". It doesnt matter what you bring to the table or who you think you are, if you're incompatible. If you're not a match then it more than likely will not work out. Also, people with adolescent trauma and narcissistic personalities will almost never work out as well. So.... finding somebody who possesses desirable features in no way means that you're guaranteed compatibility with the one you want. I've learned this the hard way. If you disagree more than you agree on anything, the relationship is doomed. You have to find someone who has common interests, values, beliefs, goals, education and love. Another thing to highly consider is without a doubt true that really pretty women and very handsome men are unfortunately more often desired by the general populace and require far more attention from their partner because someone else will come along along that wants to replace you with them selves so you may become exhausted with the constant competition. I'm not saying you cant keep an attractive person but if you're not mentally healthy enough to maintain them then dont pursue them.
Hello it work I can't believe I'm with my love again after so many years of break-up Dr🏃🏃,...,, he do alot of work okay.., and keep to his words and it works within 48hours
I avoid online dating at all costs! I like to find women outside because... why not? Poignantly, I'm no stranger to being rejected. (And I can see why.) But I'm not giving up. Not now, not ever. Whoever she is out there, I really hope she is into me as I'm into her. 14:11 ah-ha! Ah-HA! I knew it! Girls love guys who are kind. 😄 I mean, who doesn't?
Me: what do you want to eat tonight? Her: I don’t know, what do you want? Me (Trying to be direct and decisive): I want Chinese. Her: I am not in the mood for Chinese. Me: So, what are you in the mood for? Her: I don’t know, you choose? Me: 🤦🏽
Women in a nutshell. They don't want to make any decisions, they don't want to take any responsibility. Not even in the smallest of matters. But they're always quick to criticize others (males) who do make decisions and who do take responsibility.
Make a preselection of three restaurants where she can wear different outfits and mention that to her. Fancy place A where she can wear a dress and heels. Place B is a normal decent restaurant where she can wear a cute new outfit she bought the week before of something. Place C is a food truck somewhere and she can wear her comfy jacket and pants and she doesn't have to puts lot of effort into things for that night. Specifically mention the outfits she could wear to her so she can imagine things and let her choose which option she's most comfortable with.
@@DutchDansing or maybe she is an adult and shouldn't need someone else going through all that effort to help her make basic decisions. To my fellow men: we need to stop normalizing and accommodating this kind of behavior. It's not healthy to be that indecisive, and it's not fair to the man to have to be the one to go through all the bullshit they go through trying to figure out what their wife/girlfriend wants to eat. Here's some good rules of thumb: 1. If she said she wants you to pick, then you pick and don't let her blame you If she doesn't like it later on. 2. If she doesn't want what you choose, tell her that she can feed herself then. 3. If she says she doesnt want any food or isn't hungry, but then later is picking away at food that you made or bought for yourself, don't let her. It is inane how much men are expected to continue to infantilize women in this way.
Absolutely on point with everything… Even opening up and being somewhat vulnerable. Only strong people allowed them selves to be vulnerable because of strong person knows they can overcome any hurt or… Love it!
Seemed to be a few generations dated,...last century stuff. Today,...the number one attraction trait is if OTHER women find you attractive. Thus,...when meeting on a first date,...have a drop-dead gorgeous woman or two planted there to say hi and kiss you on the cheek,...and have them give a glancing look over of the women you're with. Guaranteed youre first date will want a second (even if you don't to).
Hello it work I can't believe I'm with my love again after so many years of break-up Dr🏃🏃,...,, he do alot of work okay.., and keep to his words and it works within 48hours
Fascinating video! Definitely feel the hypergamy thing; I worked my whole life to claw my way to the top 5% of earners and I do okay dating, but I’ve had dating partners move on because I’m not a multimillionaire. That stings a bit, because a lot of extreme wealth in America is inherited, not earned, and social mobility is super low in the USA. That frequently leads to frustration and a feeling of unfairness because the odds are so stacked against you if you’re born poor. 🇺🇸
80 percent of millionaires are self made, and most people who have their money inherited to them blow it very quickly. The old money families are very rare. Also being born poor in the US is no excuse, there is a reason why people leave other countries with no money in their pockets and become very successful here. They understand the opportunity here and don't look for wack ass excuses or play the victim card
@@One_Eleven111 I know where you’re getting that statistic from, but the measure is spin. For instance Microsoft, Amazon, and Facebook were all started with loans from rich parents. Did the moguls inherit their wealth? Not at the time. So by the informal study’s measure these billionaires are “self made“. However that ignores the reality of their upbringings’ influence on their success.
@@EpicDadventures About 20 percent of "self made" millionaires earned their wealth through a combination of inheritance and their self created wealth. I believe those people would have been successful weather they got that money or not, people who build companies that big have a drive that would have made them millions or even billions anyway. Also, I don't care if 99 percent of millionaires didn't earn their money, that has nothing to do with me and shouldn't matter to anyone how they got their money. Everybody needs to worry and focus on their own life and not make excuses why they aren't where other people are.
Happily married man of 15 years. In my personal experience and opinion how women sort and rank men (as a generality, there are ALWAYS exceptions but we cannot speak about anything if all we do is bring up exceptions): 1)Physical Attractiveness - Height. If a man is not as tall or taller than a women 90%-95% of women immediately disregard him. This is also the first thing that women use on dating apps to filter out men. This bears out with my personal experience now at 35 years old. I can count on one hand how many women taller than me have found me attractive (via body language cues or actually told me so). Whereas women shorter than me I cannot count how many have found me attractive in comparison. This is a pure isolated filter without any other factors at play. 2)Physical Attractiveness - Hygiene and weight. A man must be moderately groomed, clean, at least somewhat presentable and not obese. Interestingly, most women will consider a man with a little bit of extra fat but only if he has muscle to back it up (picture dad bod, big chest and arms but a bit of a gut). An ugly man who is very fit, well groomed and dressed can land most women if he is tall enough and meets other filters. 3)Personality - Confidence. Confidence is an indicator of success. This also applies to decisiveness, leadership, being driven and assertiveness. This only gets a man in the door as if their capabilities don't match their confidence then they get filtered out once the woman realizes. 4)Success - Financial Stability - Should a man's confidence match up with his actual real world success financially, then a man will pass this filter. Intelligence can help make up for lack of real world tangible success as intelligence translates into potential financial success in the future. Intelligence can be indicated through humor, conversation or other traditional methods. 5)Personality - The only thing women say they want in a man but is actually #5 or 6 on the list of things they prioritize in a man. Loyalty, commitment, loving, caring etc. In my experience, this is the order in which women filter out men for dating/marriage. If you do not pass the previous filter then you won't even be considered no matter how strong you would do on the filters afterwards. If you are not tall enough for her, she won't find you attractive and nothing else matters. If you are not hygienic and acceptable body weight, you won't be considered no matter how much wealth or confidence you have. If you don't have the confidence, it doesn't matter how much real world financial success you have. And finally - quality women won't marry you unless you have personality that is desirable. Attractive women are most often involved with men with 1-4 and keep looking for someone that has the 5th trait too. These are the women who complain they can't find any "good" men. They filter out the men with the personality they want through items 1-4 and then can't find anyone with all 5. The problem with dating apps is that it is too easy to filter the best of the best in categories 1-4 - which leave most guys unable to compete in those items at all. Most men who are the cream of the crop with items 1-4 have so little incentive to develop number 5 that they don't bother. While Courtney is right women put less emphasis on looks than men, they definitely put more emphasis on "attractiveness" as that includes height. Women don't budge on height because it is part of their gut level attractiveness to a guy. A man will hook up, date and marry a women who is slightly to moderately below him on the looks scale and do not give a damn about height. Women will not do this. The good thing about this is men have 100% control over items 2-5. My advice as a short man (5'5) who has had a bit of success with women - don't waste effort on a woman that doesn't find you attractive immediately. In my case, this is pretty much every woman taller than me so it was easy to sort out. If a women makes eye contact with you frequently, glances at you frequently, smiles frequently at you while making eye contact, finds excuses to touch you frequently, laughs at your jokes then she is attracted to you and you can spend effort on her. If not move on. If you happen to be 6 foot or taller, congratulations you can focus on items 2-5 and become either a chad or unicorn husband.
What really attracts a real man to a woman who is genuine ,nice ,full of strong character,fun personality ,mutual interests ,mature ,old soul It goes both ways ladies!
I love this woman. Also, I've embraced my gray hairs and tell people I wish I had MORE gray hair just so I could look more like George Clooney so I laughed when I saw the bit for him.
I've got a date tomorrow but I think I need to work on myself more, I quit smoking, drinking and eating meat. I'm just starting to exercise now and will look at bettering my career. I've been buying fragrances and putting together nice outfits hopefully I'll get there one day
Social safety (popularity) is probably ranked higher than physical & emotional safety. On that note, I think that safety in all regards are what main points of hypergamy. Preferences/pathogenic beliefs also play a role here but more they skew hypergamy ever so slightly. Great video.
Honesty is the best policy, so I will apply the concept to my reaction to this video and it is easier to focus first on what was explained towards the end: Wear red? Not for me. I prefer black, white, light brown and blue. As an introvert, I seem to come off as brooding and aloof; but instead of pretending to be someone I am not, what I do instead is adapt to the environment in order to meet someone. I do agree with the moderate mustache and beard, specially since I look way too young for my age. Thank you very much, Courtney. I just subbed to your channel.
Great outfit. I don't know what traits women would find attactive in men, but I can surely see what traits men would find attactive in women. for sure. Thanks.
you can not generalise - I know rather attractive women who can't find any partner and desperately look for a partner and I know men who have lots of choices but of course it can be vice versa as well.
Hello it work I can't believe I'm with my love again after so many years of break-up Dr🏃🏃,...,, he do alot of work okay.., and keep to his words and it works within 48hours
Being that direct can definitely turn her off. You definitely need to wait until the arousal cues come and then feed into them so that you won't even have to directly say anything, it will just happen naturally between the two of you. Women need that built up in their minds before feeling safe to proceed (unless she's a 304), men just flip the switch. DO NOT confuse men&women. We are not the same lmao
I've read 20 more articles on the topic beside this one in the video, and composed top 5 characteristics for attraction: 1) humor / fun; 2) confidence (as always) in body language and conversation; 3) being a good listener; 4) intelligence; 5) good posture and a bit of muscle. Definitely not "wear red" 😅
i agree with everything you said. primarily the one thing about looks not being the end all be all, it helps for sure, but i think its the confidence and assurance in yourself. Like if you're an 5 or 6 in the face but you now how to dress, you smell nice, you groom youself that can dramatically increase your overrall attractiveness. so looks is very encompassing its not black and white at all
Sometimes I have to remind myself that there are women out there who actually want to be with me more than I want them. I have missed out on so many relationships because of self doubt. Confidence over long term is key.
There must be some nuance or fine line to "being vulnerable" that we haven't figured out yet. The messaging is that being vulnerable is sexy and attractive, but the anecdotal evidence seems to indicate that it kills attraction. There's got to be some underlying middle ground there.
A woman wants to be put in her place by a leader and, at the same time, she wants to take care of him...it's the last part that creates confusion, people mistake it for being vulnerable. In reality it's the boyish charm that combined with being a leader makes the guy irresistible to a woman.
@@GubyIQ dude, get some self esteem, you aren’t talking about a bratty child here, but a woman, I can tell you are young, don’t worry about stuff like this, focus in life for the moment
_"Women want to feel secure"_ *= try to control EVERYTHING including accusations of toxic masculinity as the excuse for dumping a man who cannot be manipulated the way she requires.*
I'm surprised to see the dark triad did not make an appearance here, in a supposedly "according to science" take, Courtney. Perhaps a video is in order for your take on women's attraction to these dark personality traits?
of course, attractiveness traits are different when courting (before marriage or before sex), after marriage, after child birth, and in old age. i think that the traits presented here are for courting. some traits might be universal, some not. attractiveness can change significantly after sex or after marriage. for example, having a "purpose" (that is, work, earning money, hobbies,...) can be taken to extreme. when courting, being "extreme" or above average can attract attention and desire, but later can seem unbalanced.
When girls told me what attracted them to me I was shocked by the superficiality and childness of what they said. And know how short they will stick to such reasons of attraction.
I had one woman tell me that I'm "smart as f*ck". She claims to be a sapiosexual, and says I have an active mind, and that it turns her on. I suppose I can't complain about that. She also told me I was "insanely handsome".
Sounds borderline risky. Sometimes a narcissist will feed your own ego so that you will accept theirs and later she will take control so I would simply say thank you and not let it make you
So, to sum it up, if you don't have alot of money women aren't interested in you. This is a consistent theme I keep hearing from this channel. Money, clothes, looks, facial features, etc. I have known these for years. I'm almost 52 and I've been single for 23 years. I'm not a cheater or a liar but it cones to money. I'm not trying to be negative, but not everyone is rich and can afford expensive clothes and plastic surgery to change my face. The theme of this channel seems to be money, looks and clothes
Alright I left tis comment on the older videos of Courtneys but as a ASIAN 5'4"( not really sought after and you can forget about online dating lol) the beautiful women I " pulled" did tell me it was my manners , the way I speak so I'm guessing communication/ interpersonal skills , and confidence is what attracted them mostly . and that I am clean . PS. I'm broke lool. I truly truly believe in my short kings and I believe If i was able, you can too.
PROTECTION also includes showing your morals and values through you're willingness to protect. Not being okay with injustice and doing something about it is the singlehandedly most attractive thing a man can do.
I think this video and the scientific research is accurate. Women are attracted to men with resources also red is a color of passion & boldness I see why people are attracted to the color
OK. Thank you for this. I think I got it now. All that we men have to remember is that we need to have everything, be everything, and do everything. Nice. What is your job, woman? Why don’t you do a video about that?
I agree being richer, more protective, and older but not very attractive will get many women but the women definitely do not love them. If the study shows many women settle with rich guys does not mean you will get a healthy relationship by being rich
@@derrickmccann8489 and she won't respect you. She's not a princess. Monarchies are illegal in America so we're all just plain people. Do what you will but just know that if you treat her like a celebrity she will treat you like a fan and she would rather complement your life than be the center of your life because that puts a burden of performance on her instead of you which means if she fails she will be embarrassed and then you just failed at what you said you were going to do
@@derrickmccann8489 treat her like a person, for sure, but just remember that men and women are different so don't treat her like you would your friends. There is an interesting mentality, treat women like children, which will help you take charge, be decisive, and maintain boundaries, which will then help her feel so secure that she can be her feminine self, which is beautiful, but sometimes a daddy will spoil his little girl vs finding balance so do find balance.
Courtney I'm glad that your content isn't 🧢🧢🧢 like other posts I've seen, keep it up (Edit: just saw the be emotionally vulnerable part 😅🤣 -- guys, if you've seen Bruce Willis in Friends, there's a reason why Rachel wanted him to open up but, his sobbing was ultimately shown as a punchline! Just sayin', mostly strength with the infrequent sprinkling of emotions is the sweet spot -- like Aba and Preach said, women fetishize THEIR man's emotions, e.g. in intimate moments, weddings and funerals)
Regarding women claiming they want a man who shares their emotions, they will weaponize them and use them against you the moment things go bad. Men need to be very, very careful about what emotions they share with a woman.
Get $15 off your first month of treatment with my link: getroman.com/courtney
You just lost 1 thing. Its women talking, they are not looking for their actions but they words. They will aways virtue signaling. From the mouth of women when the subject its relationship only comes lies.
In the real world just see how they act. Women are far more draw by to apparence than men looks its top period. They are the definition of shallow.
In the real world apparence = personality for women.
Thanks for the coaching and content. 😎
For wearing red I think the easiest examples are in accents. Like a red power tie (not a cheap solid red but a nice red pattered tie) with a navy suit. Or in clothing in the red family. Buffalo check flannels, burgundy t shirt/sweater/Henley etc
for the record im take Cialis® 5mg tab. from time to time but no longer like sex. maby perhaps im have enogh of it
You're so pretty Courtney
1) 1:50 a man who leads,
2) 3:04 a man who protect,
3) 5:19 a man who has purpose
4) 6:20 a man who has intelligence
Protec*
@@PremiumUserUltra He protecc, he attacc
Be rich. End of the story
@@adityakulkarni7889 no point of the Weiner if u ain't got the bread
He protecc
He attacc
He thicc 😩
Hey Courtney I have a Question, when dating as a man It kinda feels like there’s pressure to
1) Make the first move
2) Keep the conversation going
3) Pay for and come up with ideas for the first and futures dates
4) Make sure she feels protected
5) Make sure you as the guy exude confidence even when you have no idea what you’re doing
6) Make sure she’s treated right every day and especially on Valentine’s Day
7) Make sure you do something special for your anniversary
8) Gifts
9) Not to mention pay for the engagement ring, wedding, house xyz
I feel like mens role are pretty laid out and are kinda known by both, but
What roles do women have in relationships these days?
They are a liability in those instances.
What roles women play is heavily depended on her cultural background and surrounding role models from her upbringing. Are you asking about American women? If so, this is very different from roles of women from 3rd world countries.
They are the prize.
Trust me , they are worth it.
I mean, just look at them, they are so sexy.
Sorry could help being sarcastic in case you didn't realise lol.
I am in the UK and I'm old , married and not interested in these silly entitled girls,
I married a girl that didn't have a huge body count, had prospects in her own career path and was into the same things as me, ie walking , bike rides, badminton, dogs.
Looks fade and quite fast with some women,
Use the correct head when and if you bother choosing a partner in life.
@@1SmokingLizard true because I have a Filipina girlfriend and she wants to cook , clean, buy me gifts , etc , totally different from the majority of women in America. She even said if money ever ran out she’d still be there. I wish All women had the same mindset
@@introvertdude99 Yep. Same here except I had an American Filipino (GF to Wife to ExWife of almost 19 cumulative years together) which meant she was split on the customs of roles she played in the family unit. Too bad the Americana lifestyle and modern day culturalism stole her former identity.
Men are human beings not just success objects that you can dress up and throw away at your leisure.
They could speed it up and have a wall with holes and men just whip it out and the women pick which one they like
That's what's happening if guys sign up for it.
and they think tate is worser then hitler
@@JHINYT Tate is narcissistic millionaire where as Hitler was a dictator in 1930s the difference is absolutely irrelevant
@@JHINYT you should of said and they say Tate is worser than a simp
It all boils down to: be authentic. You’ll never be everyone’s type, so you might as well be who you most intuitively strive to be, and then max that out indefinitely. That covers all the virtues (honesty, truth, etc.) and leads to the tangibles (pursuing your purpose, staying healthy, etc.)
No lol
nobody is authentic as whatever you do someone else also does it lol
you can be rare and different but you can't be exceptional
I have never had a woman react positively to vulnerability. Most react poorly if I even mention that I'm having an issue and I never even get the chance to be vulnerable.
Wrong women. Just don't be a cry baby. But showing occasional vulnerabilities will not be a problem with the right woman
I think passion is a big factor as well. Whether a guy is into everyday stuff like cooking or landscaping or more personal things like art or music, women like to see a guy who's passionate about something. It's much easier to start convos when you're constantly keeping your brain active, to an extent of course.
The passion has to make money though
Women like looks everything come with looks is good
Go ahead and believe that and see how far that gets you.
@@ryanbailey8588 What are you referring to?
💯
#1. Direct and decisive. Works great, until it doesn’t. My ex wife claimed to love everything about me, until slowly but surely she became very contrary to anything and everything I decided, to a point where I’m convinced she said she didn’t agree even if deep down she really did. Things to pay attention to, saving serious problems down the road.
To me, a woman would act like that with you only if she loses attraction for you
Predictability in your actions has turned off your wife....be intuitive
It's just a big game with them. Don't beat yourself up.
That's a lot like passive aggressive behavior and shit testing. Glad she's your ex....
She had a other guy thats when woman try to blame you for shit
One thing I would think regarding the dating within your league is that if you are not happy with your current situation, upgrade yourself.
It’s unrealistic as a guy to let yourself go but expect gorgeous women to flock. If you want hot girls, you will need to lift, dress better, carry yourself more attactively and become a hot guy yourself.
Many women/men get caught up in how to find their dream partner, but we need to consider if we would be our dream partner’s dream partner.
Bullshit, I bartend, hit the gym, I’m in a band, write my own songs, sing at karaoke and make BANK and it still doesn’t attract women, they are all either married or taken, stop fooling people with your bullshit.
@Jay Bee all parties end.
@Jay Bee I had plenty of women speak to me before, today bartending and attacking me for nothing, don’t expect my pity, you’re on a screen, nothin in person, fuckin don’t act as if you know me.
The crazy thing is the average looking woman doesn’t want the average looking guy. The average woman is overweight and so is the guy but ofcourse she only dates or has sex with the guy who is in shape. This is where things get skewed.
Once the average woman has had sex with someone who is on a higher level than her she feels entitled to a guy at that level for a relationship. Sadly that guy will not stick around longer than it takes to be done with the sex.
These same women will “settle” with some regular guy and then withhold sex from him because he isn’t the chiseled god that used to fuck her. Lol
@@GabrielXDrums I don’t know you, so can’t comment, but you never directly addressed my point which is that handling those issues will make you more attractive.
I doubt everyone around you is married, unless you live in a sub-5k people small town where you may not know anyone.
Even then, if you live in a place with very little single people, the best you can do is to make yourself competent.
One thing I didn't expect when I learnt to dance was that I was attracted to women when I danced with them. Not necessarily before. Their physicality and 'chemistry' became much more apparent in the closeness of dance. It's not all looks! How someone moves can be very sensual.
I was dating a girl recently and one night we hung out with two of her cousins. I remember her and her cousin both telling me they felt safe being around me. She said she really liked that about me but didn’t like the fact that I called her out on something which made her deflect and accused me of being clingy lol 😒
Being safe around you is woman speak for saying you are unattractive. How do you not know this?
@@kelvinpell4571depends on context. If he's jacked and they like him it probably actually means safe. If he's some soyboy it means he's unattractive.
Courtney, I think what you are doing is really positive, but the sad reality is that too many women have unbelievable expectations. Women need to start taking a serious look in the mirror and work on their inside first before the outside(physical). It’s important to keep in good physical shape, but you know that 95% of women depend on their looks to catch a man…. It does not work for anything long-term or healthy.
And still, too many women neglect their mental and spiritual aspects of their personalities.
@Jay Bee Yes, men and women both need to look in the mirror. And the men and women that are complaining about not being able to find a decent girlfriend or boyfriend need to say the following words in the mirror every day -
“Instagram is toxic ! Tik Tok is toxic ! Tinder is toxic ! ALL DATING APPS ARE TOXIC ! “
I met my wife at a gas station. We saw each other with our own eyes ! We heard each other with our own ears !
Instagram and dating APPS deliberately encourage RIDICULOUS expectations. Single men and women need to get some courage and talk to a women or a man in the grocery store, or at the gas station. The problem is that too many 20,30,40 and 50 something’s are too proud to humble themselves to say a simple “hello”.
There is no perfect man or women on the planet. Physical beauty fades eventually. My grandmother told me long ago that my grandfather became extremely handsome to her as the years went by…. That’s REAL LOVE !
@@jimmy2591 for me it’s not pride that prevents me from saying hello.
It is concern that I will be viewed as a creep, and reported as such. This fear is also coupled with this ‘understanding’
1. If a woman is at the gym she is there to work on herself *not to be eye candy for anyone*
2. If a woman is in a grocery store then she is there to get what she needs and leaves, *not to have conversation with men.*
3. If a woman is anywhere else in the world then she is either married, dating, or completely not interested.
These are the three principles men _must_ follow in todays world. Women have stated multiple times that they do not like to be cold approached. They have made these statements often and vociferously on any and all social media they possess.
The game changed, men adapted to the expectations of the new game, or they saw it for what it is and stopped playing.
@@jimmy2591 You're spitting facts. I'll take that into note thanks
Nice to see a vid that seems to be backed by science. The one that confuses me, though, is the one about sharing your emotions. I believe Corey Wayne touched on the subject by saying to never make your woman your mother or therapist. Part of the reason behind this is that if a man seeks emotional comfort from his woman, it shows that he doesn’t have to the confidence to find a solution or at least be able to overcome his problems. So, it seems like it would be difficult to share your emotions with your woman without coming off as a man who doesn’t know how to manage the emotional difficulties in his life.
I agree with what you're saying, and I think that in addition to sharing the emotions and vulnerability, we also need to bring with that the actual solution you refer to, and confidence we will achieve it, as she actually witnesses us working to achieve it. If we fail to achieve it, being "butt hurt" will make us look like wimps, so ya gotta be like 🤷♂️ and implement the plan for "resolution 2." Persistence eventually leads to payoff, and those who disagree with that statement are not only cynical, but insecure and lack confidence.
It can ruin the polarity. She wants to see you as a guy who has his stuff together. Being emotional is fine and needed but in appropriate doses.
I agree with @conner calibration is needed
you are right can't loose control of your emotions.....now it's not fair because women tend to be the ones who can't control their emotions but that's life.....and obviously it's not all women probably more often it's the women with some type of damage...and try to find one that doesn't have at least a little damage...won't happen
Sharing your emotions is not losing control of your emotions.
You feel them. Work them out in silence. Or with the boys. Another female friend if you have one.
Then you *share* them with your woman (when applicable) with understanding and stoicism, instead of acting irrationally on them.
They want to know what we think and feel. They just don't want to see us "feel" it. Best way I can put it.
I have a good friend who used to be a master pick up artists and followed a guy named Mystery who talked that female to male attraction was based off of four things. Listening to Courtney, Jordan Peterson, and a reading a number of books have all said or hinted at the same things.
1. Leader of men
2. Protector of loved ones
3. Strong identity with the ability to emote accordingly
4. Preselection among other women
@Jay Bee Thanks for your thoughts! When I say leader men to clarify it doesn't have to mean they're the Quarterback or a CEO, but as the Engineer who works for him giving your example, he could be someone who gives good advice to friends that helps, or someone who takes charge of plans when he out with friends, or teachers other a useful skill, those are other basic examples of being a, "leader of men," not necessarily holding a position but being someone other guys look up to in some way.
there's actually a book about Mystery written by Neil Strauss called "The Game" ;)
@@sahalahmed8263 I've read that! However, I don't feel it was the best book. Your thoughts?
@@11tkohtz Yea, admittedly it was not that great. The book is a good guide if all you want is a few tricks to get laid after bar encounters, but I don’t think that’s what most men truly want.
I read a book called attract and keep her by Jim Wolfe. He says the 4 traits women are attracted to are
1. Internal value
2. Internal strength
3. Preselection
4. Being a Challenge
Courtney’s commitment to providing real data instead of gratuitous shit (click bait) is what makes her one of the best on here. I still wish she would do a more mature version of what women are attracted to rather than just her age group. 30s & 40s women are a different demographic entirely than the 20s (age group) going out to clubs and bars every weekend.
My is 30 to 40 age group
One of the Simplest known reactions to know if a woman is interested is when you make eye contact she looks away then looks back in I think it was about a minute. So, don't stop looking at her. Then if you get the look... its your move what you do with it is up to you.
Men do not
I repeat
DO NOT!!!
Be vulnerable
One thing I’ve learned is women do know what they want but they are emotional and what they want changes with their emotions, which are completely different every single day.
Yes!
Every single hour... *
@@andersnielsen6044 Every single second.
Your comment is pure BS
lmfao SHIT ADVICE MATE if you are not alllowed to be vulnerable with your SO it will destroy your relationship. you eventually will reach a limit when all the bottled up emotions come out at once. I did it and lost the girl i loved like no other because she said i hate insane anger issues which i have not. I just ignored it but at one point enough is enough
It can't be stressed enough how important it is to be a man that's straightforward, honest, and decisive. Society can influence women to be more "strong and independent" all they want, but most women defer to men in situations where decisions have to be made and that's in the workplace and in life in general. When you're clear and concise in your communication and decisions, you're already more attractive than the average man today.
🙌🏼
As in when your clearly willing to do what she wants for the rest of you life, and you clearly tell her this, no thanks
Yeah well that's a lot of fucking pressure to always be the one carrying the burden of honesty and decisiveness. Why should men have to shoulder that burden entirely in a relationship? Also, if women claim to want men that don't try to control them or tell them what to do, then women should stay away from looking for men that are too quick to take charge of a situation because the woman runs the risk of the man not having the discernment to know when it's ok to be in charge and when it isn't.
I work as a hospital nurse in the ICU where I am tasked to respond to patient emergencies occurring throughout the hospital. As a nurse doing this, I have to be decisive, proactive, stay calm, and work efficiently. I have to work closely with that nurse taking care of that patient. I get to work with many female nurses. NONE have shown any interest in me...none. I'm polite and kind to them and I get no hint that I'm attractive to any of them. For critics who say that I have to get out of the workplace and find women somewhere else, I understand, but females are females no matter the place.
What Courtney has said in this video is true but only if the guy is FIRST attractive. If he's not attractive, then everything Courtney has said means nothing, and I'm living proof of this. I'm short (5'8") and have the body of a nerd, not masculine-looking like the guys most women want. If you're not attractive to begin with, these traits mean nothing.
Studies have shown that women generally care significantly less about looks than men do, although they are equally as important for superficial first impressions. Some women want to be directly courted. Others may want a man who makes as much money or more than them. Attraction has become more nuanced in the modern world since we have parted from Neolithic age.
You’re 100 percent right! Don’t let them gaslight you.
Don't worry about being short. Think about the advantages you offer anatomically.
Tall, pale freckles is my type physically. I am 5'10.5". My shortest boyfriend was 5'10". I could have done missionary with him forever because of how perfectly we aligned anatomically.
Girls who only want 6' or taller were never your audience anyway. Don't play to them. BTW nerdy guys are hot!
@@yeledim296 what study is that? They care about looks as the top priority. Have a look at the OKCupid study from about 2012.
Out Of Her League.
You ain’t handsome and sexy it’s over.
She’s a 9 and you’re a hard 5,,,,if you are in a band that gets you a 6.5-, maybe.
Life is cruel and it will always be that way.
Go listen to
Janis Ian, At Seventeen..
*The emphasis on confidence and emotional intelligence really resonates. I’d love to hear more about how these traits can be developed over time.*
Props to Courtney for standing up for men.
Courtney - this is a great list, however, the "talk about your feelings" can be tricky. I've dated women in the past who were okay for me to talk about my feelings, and others who thought it was a sign of weakness. I guess it depends upon the women I guess (perhaps the manner in which I convey my thoughts as well).
You do great work.... I always get something out of your channel. Tale care and have a wonderful Summer!
The feelings one is definitely true but honestly the ones that see it as weakness aren’t worth your time anyways
You don’t get to have feelings because you’re just an ATM to her.
Depends on how you go about talking about it. If you’re expressing how you feel so you’re on the same page and your communication is in sync then it’s not really bad. If you are expressing how you feel in a way that is whiny or complaining then it’s a turn off. It’s a slippery slope so just be careful about it and don’t do it too often. Talk about your feelings to reconnect with her. That’s about it.
@@ericmoore9444 not if she’s the sugar mama
If you can't talk about your feelings with her, then she never liked you for you. Talking about feelings is the foundation of a good relationship where two people keep communication with each other.
There is also a difference between being kind and being nice. Being kind is more genuine, where as being nice is what "nice guys" do to gain something from the woman. Remember this boys.
Good point.
I think city, suburban, rural plays a part, also. I've seen perception bias from both men and women to where someone lives playing a role in interest and attractiveness. People tend to want to stay within their own culture. It's happened to me personally also.
The part about women's selection being based on their own attractiveness is really interesting. Generally, from what I understand from my social circle, women nowadays often overestimate their own attractiveness. Maybe this is part of the reason that there are more singles and less couples nowadays compared to 30ish years ago
Poom poom inequality has increased.
The bottom half have less poom poom.
And the top 10% have helluva lot more.
Amen to all of this. I've found that expressing my more private emotions helps build a connection, but not doing it too soon.
Courtney you are relentlessly consistent with the uploads! Keep it up! Thanks for making such great content! The internet needs more people like you
no, read the unplugged alpha by richard cooper
Yes she is
In the present it's everything Chad and Tryone have and not the average guy.
This was probably one of your best videos yet. Much of the video, especially the second half, presents "research based facts," which goes way beyond "gut instincts" and is the farthest thing from fiction you can get. Well researched findings which form a concrete basis in fact. We thank you for your effort in bringing this important work to us.
*research that has an agenda
@@ericmoore9444 Tell us the agenda.
I appreciate that there are people like you who want to see us all get along better and have healthy relationships. Keep up the good work!!
I wish there was a channel like this for those of us over 55. A lot of this is geared towards having marriage and raising a family as a goal. Those things don't exist for singles of an older age group.
Bro if you're over 55 don't try to date get ready to die
Naah. . .There's more to life than women.@@lochanavimukthi1101
@@lochanavimukthi1101 LOL you will be there yourself before you even realise!
The same applies at any age:-
Height
Looks
Money
over 40 I'd add HAIR
Everything else is irrelevant
Simple. I’ve said it a million times. Height, status, money/earning capability, hair….everything else is secondary
you sound like a black piller, on this list what exactly do you lack?
Yes and no I’m my opinion. If you have no social skills and don’t know how to banter and flirt with a girl then all the traits you mentioned won’t really matter. But yes having those things definitely helps if you good “game” to go along with it
@@nickrunaway2 Flirting and social skills will only get you so far in 2022. Women expect the whole “package.” Even average women.
@mummysaidican'thaveabf I’m 51 and single. The only gold digging in my life is me digging for my own.
This was so good, Courtney. SPOT on. Good indication, guys, that these traits attract across the generations. Well done. I agree that we cannot ignore our evolutionary and biological wiring (if we like it, or not).
🙌🏼🤍 thank you Nina!!
*good tips if the guy was hot to begin with.
Hi what state u from I'm from California
🌷🌷❤❤
@@CourtneyRyan God bless you 999 trillion times more. I hope God gives you what ever you are looking for. Its such a crazy world. Could you just imagine how much you do not even know!! [ There could interesting plot twists out there- I feel like Alexander Dumas with the count of Monte Cristo.] The element of perception is a very interesting element indeed. You are beautiful- use your good judgment to stay that way. God bless you and I hope you have a very beautiful and wonderful life.
Good video, Courtney! I think in terms of the mano-sphere not liking the article about expressing emotions, it's more about how you express those emotions in front of women. Nobody is going to say a man is weak if he expresses emotions relating to the death of a partner, a parent, a child or a close friend, it's about not losing your emotional balance over menial stuff in life - that's the thing that's not attractive.
As long as it's masculine
6'6" 235lbs Buff Man here. Never had any problem attracting women.
Hey Courtney, thank you for giving us men these tips. Can you please make a video about maintaining eye contact with a woman? I genuinely had that problem during watching this video, which is not your fault, but this is a problem I've had for a while. I work from home and don't see many women, other than dates, but that becomes a problem, my 'gazing' or glancing. I don't stare, but I feel awkward when I look and she notices. I would appreciate any advice and I'm sure other men are in the same boat!
Very interesting, a great overview. Not sure about the "stay within your league" advice, simply because most people have not that much of an idea what their league is, and because it is hard to know what the other person finds attractive. I personally don't care what color hair a woman has, but her voice factors in a lot. I'm sure women have odd preferences that even out in a statistic, but not necessarily on an individual level. As far as vulnerability is concerned, I still believe women like an empathetic man, but not necessarily a sensitive one.
@Jay Bee Well, even wealth is just one dimension of several. And even here many people can't see clearly. I think that many people respond to financial matters emotionally and not rationally. Rationally, you also have nothing to lose when approaching that attractive woman.
Vulnerability is sexy? That is BS. I don't show my feelings or vulnerability anymore because I've been burned too many times. I know that some women aren't like that and won't shame me, but why risk it? All this advice is really not targeted at men like me because I'm not in the group of men that this could work for. For a guy like me, marriage or a relationship is an insane risk because there will always be the next best thing waiting around the corner. Also, the "you date the guy with the sixpack but marry the guy with the dad bod" just sounds like settling. No man wants to feel like he's the 50th choice, and it is not a good feeling.
100% facts!
Same here man. You show vulnerability, they exploit you and burn.
You’re overthinking everything man
@@Ross-ve9ww It’s not overthinking when it has happened literally every single time I opened up to a girl. And the divorce rates plus how a man is treated in custody battles that it’s just not worth the pain. I wish it was different but times have changed.
As someone who’s been in a relationship for over 17 yrs, I don’t understand how this vulnerability thing is a turn off. Can you be more specific or give me an example? I may not be seeing it with my husband but he shares a lot with me and we talk a lot and I’m still hot for him lol. I know I may be the exception but I need to know these things so I can understand it.
As a woman; yep decisive helps! I don't get a lot of dates, but when I do get asked, the guys don't know what to do or where to go! I end up having to pick a place, book it, set the time, make provisions for them being late and lately also pay for them. It feels like I'm not worth any effort if someone rocks up 30 mins late and doesn't seem to notice! I do like financially stable men (not rich, but someone my equivalent) so that it doesn't feel like I'm the one who has to pick up the tab all the time! Confidence is very attractive but sense of humour gets me very interested. Lately I found that I like some guys who constantly challenged my views without being aggressive but open my eyes to other people's s thoughts.
I know a lot of men who would argue with the german report, but I agree with it. I honestly have never dated men I'm physically attracted to because I became attracted to them based on their sense of humour and other traits. I don't feel as if I have more options though as I am not an attractive women by most men's standards. I generally would prefer someone easy going who made me laugh than someone with a 6 pack and chiseled jawline. The light beard is also very attractive. I never used to find it hot but lately it's become very attractive especially the older I get. In younger years, I liked clean shaven.
💯
🙌🏼 thank you for sharing this!
Stand up to women that have created these men. Men can’t say anything so you have to.
I really like the way Courtney will makes the point in several of her videos that improvements in the way you live are really for your own well-being, even though this also attracts women. She does this here when giving the advice to have a purpose. Courtney's videos offer advice on how to attract women, but often they are also about self-improvement, which is good for your all-around well--being. Thumbs up for that.
I believe that two major qualities attract most women:
1) inner strength
2) non neediness
3) $$$$
The Power of Red. This is a color representing masculine energy. It stimulates appetite, and also other physical senses like sexual passion. It increases the metabolism rate and blood pressure. It magnifies and intensifies the object, and is attention-grabbing. It provokes the senses and makes a person react faster.
Sounds like it gives you high blood pressure
Red is an angry colour nothing more nothing less. I don’t own a single article of Red clothing.
Yeah guys if you aren't waking up raging stiff, your testosterone is plummeting or is being interfered with. I've heard constipation and a full bladder can influence performance so diet, exercise&stress reduction help those two, meaning they can help performance. Remember, testosterone makes effort feel good
Being doing this from last 6 years ...lmao this is bs advice is sick ....dooomers gona belive this bs and follow this advice hoping to attract some women one day , but it's not true and when they realise the truth it's very late ...
Work out , meditate, bring ethics to your life , love your mom and dad , be gentleman don't do these with expectations like women will get attracted to you one day .!
Do these to be a good human being
I started eating a lot more red meat and eggs and sleeping better and now I'm pitching tents every morning again lol
@@Theviewerdude good! That healthy cholesterol helps the production of testosterone. Happy for ya! (And your callers hahahahaha) I'm in my early 30s and I've never missed a morninf
I hear ya - Joseph! Great tips - and speaking of “Testosterone…”
If you want to increase your “Testosterone” levels, then you must…
-Exercise, and start Lifting Weight, it definitely helps!
-Try getting some Sun, or just take Vitamin D, you’ll see what happens!
-Get some High Quality Sleep at night, and make sure you get a lot of Rest!
-And lastly, Eat Protein, Fat and Carbs, and soon, you’ll start seeing a big difference!
There are more things you could do, of course - but these should get you started! Good luck!
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
I've been being a bit more active lately and I've noticed a bit improvement in that department
A man has to be all of these things.
Her: works 16 hours a week at Target and is 60,000 in student loan debt.
you forgot to mention she has some other guys kids
Preach the truth my friend. We must educate men on here.
She needs to be young and beautiful, or we (men) wouldn’t look twice at her.
It’s hard for women, too. And they can’t exactly do much about aging.
Women want protection and provision (for her and her offspring); men want pussy (that is young and beautiful, i.e. fertile and healthy).
This is how humans (and many other animals) have always reproduced, and is still the case today.
I really don’t understand why men (not all men!) seem to resent women for being attracted to men with money.
Unless you plan on building her a shelter, hunting wildebeest to feed her, and guarding her from bears, then your resources (money) are how you will protect and provide for her.
And in exchange, we get what we want: pussy (forgive the vulgarity, but it’s true).
The more you are able to protect and provide (i.e. the more status/success/wealth you have), the younger and more beautiful the women you are able to attract. It’s not a complex equation.
If you think this sounds transactional…well, it is. But (almost) all human relationships are transactional. Why is this a bad thing?
Consider the alternative: a _completely_ one-sided relationship, where you do _everything_ for a person, and they give you _nothing_ in return. Isn’t that far worse than a two-way, mutually-beneficial, “transactional” relationship?
Listen, if you don’t have money, it’s fine. I’m not here to criticise anyone. I’ve had a very privileged upbringing (along with my own successes, and failures, along the way), so I am in no position to judge anyone.
But if you don’t have money, either better yourself, or lower your expectations (or give up on dating entirely - also a valid choice). If you’re a 5, don’t expect to date 8s and 9s. Expect to date 5s (or below).
Women _never_ fuck down. And why should they? They don’t “owe” us anything.
I will not be taking questions at this time.
@@bob995preferably a mixed race kid whose dad is getting out of jail
Soon
Key note about societal pressures: it doesn’t like it when men discuss emotion. It’s been ground into most of our lives that if we open up it’ll just become a burden on others, and we’re better off bottling it up. Most accept it as a “it is what it is” thing, and don’t get help until they become a statistic. I dated a girl in high school that was confused about it, and it took a half hour and half my friend group to be able to come up with words to explain it, and she honestly didn’t know that was a thing.
So do I think talking about emotions is bad? No. It’s a way of possibly releasing something that you need to say, especially with a significant other. But bottling up completely will make pressure build until the guy finally breaks. It’s a necessity to have at least one person in your life that you can trust with yours.
Hey Courtney, I've been watching your videos for the past few weeks and I really like the advice you give. I'd really appreciate if you could answer a question of mine. I feel like when it comes to modern dating post school years it's really hard to expand your social circle. Typically people are very busy either with work or other obligations so the chances of two people coincidentally having free time to hang out and get to know each other is pretty slim. I have tried online dating but I have had no success with it. In person I have anxiety approaching girls that I find attractive because I'm usually at a coffee shop (and they're working) or at a gym where everyone has earphones on. And I don't really know how to start something with just that initial attraction. So my question is this. Where can I go in person to meet girls nowadays and how should I start talking to them?
I'm no Courtney lol but I guess a good start is actively leaving your social circle, try a new hobby or do a new language course or something like that.
If a girl is working at a coffee shop or something don't ask them out unless you are friends with them before is my opinion. (You have fun with small talk) Same goes for the gym. It's less pressure and you come off less as a weirdo if there is some connection.
As far as spontaneously meeting people, join a group activity. You can even do this at a gym, whether its a cycling or crossfit class. Girls love these classes as well. Doing recreational sports or other activities are great.
Ugly men with confidence:- creep , cocky 🤬😡👎
Attractive men with confidence:- self made King , chad ,sexy 🥰🤗😘👍
There's a lot you can do to become more attractive. Start by hitting the gym.
@@rod6722 one of the real reasons why I joined the gym: I hate feeling so unattractive.
Attractive men without confidence: cute
@@rod6722 pls stop this bs ...
Iam a College team football player
I hit gym when i was 17 now iam 21 still continuing
Hitting gym won't change your genetics, or transform you into a Greek god which make women go mad
Hit gym lift weights and make yourself satisfied and happy ,
Don't hit gym with these wierd expectations linked to women
@@ashwinach_zz5195 I don't disagree with anything you said. Sure, attracting women shouldn't be the only reason you hit the gym. And it won't change the genetic factors you can't control. All I'm saying is that having a stronger and healthier body makes you more attractive, that's just a fact.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about what women are attracted to, is that they all have different tastes in men. As a man, it’s more important to be yourself - and practice being the best version of yourself - than trying to be something you’re not in order to attract a certain type of girl. You can’t control who is attracted to you, but you can control what you do in order to attract women in general.
True, sort of. Look, there are some pretty universal factors to attract women. Looks, money, physique rarely hurts. HOWEVER, women also know, when trying to lock down a guy, that if they aim too high they can run into problems. Will the guy be faithful to them short or long term? So while hypergamy dictates that women ARE attracted to men of equal or higher SMV, they also know that high SMV guys can be intimidating. Again, this comes back to the dual nature of female attraction, arousal and comfort. Yes, Billionaire Giga-Chad can be highly arousing, but he's low on the comfort metric. She's going to struggle to lock him down and women DON'T LIKE TO SHARE. So there are self imposed limits to a woman's hypergamy if she's got some self discipline.
@@jleano609 dropping facts! All women have those core traits they look for and all the other +’s is dependent on the woman and her preferences, environmental influence, history etc
Are you making content? That would be awesome 😎
@@Nah-ah thanks for the kind words, you likewise provide a valuable perspective from the woman’s side.
No I’ve never really thought about providing online content. I do informally coach young guys along side my more formal role as a judo coach. They need guidance on and off the mat in muscles/money/game/frame. The most important thing that comes up again and again is to approach and build social skills with girls. Guys nowadays are way too shy.
Great tips! I agree… Women tend to like guys with a particular trait or traits…
for instance, women like men who lead, who are decisive, they like to feel protected, and taken care of in the relationship.
Men are supposed to be leaders, if she’s the one leading, it’ll just be a matter of time before she leaves you for another man - who knows how to lead!
Anyway, that’s my two cents.
-Carlos Verde - Dating Tips
Men are human beings
@Jay Bee Society also tells woman to be more masculine while at the same time pushing the concept of 'toxic masculinity' to weaken men. Men aren't wired to like masculine women either. This is why the West will continue its demise with a rapid decline in birth rates.
Really enjoying your channel, Courtney - you're sensible and authentic. You've confirmed that I've been doing many things correctly, which is a great additional confidence boost, but I've also been learning and getting new perspectives from you some of your guests. Keep it up!
So do i
Appreciate the way you deliver the findings of controlled studies and then gift the veiwer with your honest and truthful opinion. Breath of fresh air 😊
Its very encouraging to hear that sharing your honest feelings with a woman you care for is not viewed as a negative. Of course its important to build on a friendship first so as not to overwhelm the lady , but Rambo i will never be .haha
Most women don't *actually* want that though. They say they do, but in reality most of them want men who impervious and never feel fear or self-doubt.
@@badwolf3618 Most "women" are not meant to be our woman. Go find to right ones.
The purpose topic is the greatest power a man can have. If you put your lady as your purpose; you are going to lose her. Your purpose must come first. Then the lady is the icing on the cake.
Ambition and being dynamic are attractive qualities. Show vulnerability in the right measure.
One thing over looked ALL THE TIME is "Compatibility!". It doesnt matter what you bring to the table or who you think you are, if you're incompatible. If you're not a match then it more than likely will not work out. Also, people with adolescent trauma and narcissistic personalities will almost never work out as well. So.... finding somebody who possesses desirable features in no way means that you're guaranteed compatibility with the one you want. I've learned this the hard way. If you disagree more than you agree on anything, the relationship is doomed. You have to find someone who has common interests, values, beliefs, goals, education and love. Another thing to highly consider is without a doubt true that really pretty women and very handsome men are unfortunately more often desired by the general populace and require far more attention from their partner because someone else will come along along that wants to replace you with them selves so you may become exhausted with the constant competition. I'm not saying you cant keep an attractive person but if you're not mentally healthy enough to maintain them then dont pursue them.
Hello it work I can't believe I'm with my love again after so many years of break-up Dr🏃🏃,...,, he do alot of work okay.., and keep to his words and it works within 48hours
Red is a wrong thing, because most men do not wear red. Any men wearing red would get attention but does not mean its attraction in the long run.
I avoid online dating at all costs! I like to find women outside because... why not? Poignantly, I'm no stranger to being rejected. (And I can see why.) But I'm not giving up. Not now, not ever. Whoever she is out there, I really hope she is into me as I'm into her.
14:11 ah-ha! Ah-HA! I knew it! Girls love guys who are kind. 😄 I mean, who doesn't?
No no no. You are going to get your heart broken.
@@ericmoore9444 I was afraid someone's gonna say that.
It's hard cause a lot of women are online. Even going out to meet them. Where are they at? On the phone.
@@punsized2296 of course.
@@punsized2296 It is pretty easy to identify the ones on the phone and the one who are not...
Me: what do you want to eat tonight?
Her: I don’t know, what do you want?
Me (Trying to be direct and decisive): I want Chinese.
Her: I am not in the mood for Chinese.
Me: So, what are you in the mood for?
Her: I don’t know, you choose?
Me: 🤦🏽
Women in a nutshell. They don't want to make any decisions, they don't want to take any responsibility. Not even in the smallest of matters. But they're always quick to criticize others (males) who do make decisions and who do take responsibility.
Make a preselection of three restaurants where she can wear different outfits and mention that to her. Fancy place A where she can wear a dress and heels. Place B is a normal decent restaurant where she can wear a cute new outfit she bought the week before of something. Place C is a food truck somewhere and she can wear her comfy jacket and pants and she doesn't have to puts lot of effort into things for that night. Specifically mention the outfits she could wear to her so she can imagine things and let her choose which option she's most comfortable with.
@@DutchDansing or maybe she is an adult and shouldn't need someone else going through all that effort to help her make basic decisions.
To my fellow men: we need to stop normalizing and accommodating this kind of behavior. It's not healthy to be that indecisive, and it's not fair to the man to have to be the one to go through all the bullshit they go through trying to figure out what their wife/girlfriend wants to eat.
Here's some good rules of thumb:
1. If she said she wants you to pick, then you pick and don't let her blame you If she doesn't like it later on.
2. If she doesn't want what you choose, tell her that she can feed herself then.
3. If she says she doesnt want any food or isn't hungry, but then later is picking away at food that you made or bought for yourself, don't let her.
It is inane how much men are expected to continue to infantilize women in this way.
Absolutely on point with everything… Even opening up and being somewhat vulnerable. Only strong people allowed them selves to be vulnerable because of strong person knows they can overcome any hurt or… Love it!
do acne scars, just acne scars matter to a girl ?
Seemed to be a few generations dated,...last century stuff.
Today,...the number one attraction trait is if OTHER women find you attractive. Thus,...when meeting on a first date,...have a drop-dead gorgeous woman or two planted there to say hi and kiss you on the cheek,...and have them give a glancing look over of the women you're with. Guaranteed youre first date will want a second (even if you don't to).
BRILLIANT!
Hello it work I can't believe I'm with my love again after so many years of break-up Dr🏃🏃,...,, he do alot of work okay.., and keep to his words and it works within 48hours
And this is how you do commentary video! Mixture of your own observation/experience and contents of the article. Great video Courtney :)
Fascinating video!
Definitely feel the hypergamy thing; I worked my whole life to claw my way to the top 5% of earners and I do okay dating, but I’ve had dating partners move on because I’m not a multimillionaire.
That stings a bit, because a lot of extreme wealth in America is inherited, not earned, and social mobility is super low in the USA. That frequently leads to frustration and a feeling of unfairness because the odds are so stacked against you if you’re born poor. 🇺🇸
Extreme wealth is earned - not inherited. Social mobility up and down is very agile in America.
@Jason MP Anecdotal at best. Most Forbes 400 are self-made.
80 percent of millionaires are self made, and most people who have their money inherited to them blow it very quickly. The old money families are very rare. Also being born poor in the US is no excuse, there is a reason why people leave other countries with no money in their pockets and become very successful here. They understand the opportunity here and don't look for wack ass excuses or play the victim card
@@One_Eleven111 I know where you’re getting that statistic from, but the measure is spin. For instance Microsoft, Amazon, and Facebook were all started with loans from rich parents. Did the moguls inherit their wealth? Not at the time. So by the informal study’s measure these billionaires are “self made“. However that ignores the reality of their upbringings’ influence on their success.
@@EpicDadventures About 20 percent of "self made" millionaires earned their wealth through a combination of inheritance and their self created wealth. I believe those people would have been successful weather they got that money or not, people who build companies that big have a drive that would have made them millions or even billions anyway. Also, I don't care if 99 percent of millionaires didn't earn their money, that has nothing to do with me and shouldn't matter to anyone how they got their money. Everybody needs to worry and focus on their own life and not make excuses why they aren't where other people are.
As always, splendid advice. Thank you for your work.
Thanks for being here Dale! 🥰
@@CourtneyRyan if a man is truly alpha then he knows it and he also knows that he doesn't need to call himself alpha or the need to prove it.
Stop making money off guys simping for you.
@@Kickback-dm7zt what about the dudes that wear alphalete clothing at the gym to show they are alpha males
Happily married man of 15 years. In my personal experience and opinion how women sort and rank men (as a generality, there are ALWAYS exceptions but we cannot speak about anything if all we do is bring up exceptions):
1)Physical Attractiveness - Height. If a man is not as tall or taller than a women 90%-95% of women immediately disregard him. This is also the first thing that women use on dating apps to filter out men. This bears out with my personal experience now at 35 years old. I can count on one hand how many women taller than me have found me attractive (via body language cues or actually told me so). Whereas women shorter than me I cannot count how many have found me attractive in comparison. This is a pure isolated filter without any other factors at play.
2)Physical Attractiveness - Hygiene and weight. A man must be moderately groomed, clean, at least somewhat presentable and not obese. Interestingly, most women will consider a man with a little bit of extra fat but only if he has muscle to back it up (picture dad bod, big chest and arms but a bit of a gut). An ugly man who is very fit, well groomed and dressed can land most women if he is tall enough and meets other filters.
3)Personality - Confidence. Confidence is an indicator of success. This also applies to decisiveness, leadership, being driven and assertiveness. This only gets a man in the door as if their capabilities don't match their confidence then they get filtered out once the woman realizes.
4)Success - Financial Stability - Should a man's confidence match up with his actual real world success financially, then a man will pass this filter. Intelligence can help make up for lack of real world tangible success as intelligence translates into potential financial success in the future. Intelligence can be indicated through humor, conversation or other traditional methods.
5)Personality - The only thing women say they want in a man but is actually #5 or 6 on the list of things they prioritize in a man. Loyalty, commitment, loving, caring etc.
In my experience, this is the order in which women filter out men for dating/marriage. If you do not pass the previous filter then you won't even be considered no matter how strong you would do on the filters afterwards. If you are not tall enough for her, she won't find you attractive and nothing else matters. If you are not hygienic and acceptable body weight, you won't be considered no matter how much wealth or confidence you have. If you don't have the confidence, it doesn't matter how much real world financial success you have. And finally - quality women won't marry you unless you have personality that is desirable.
Attractive women are most often involved with men with 1-4 and keep looking for someone that has the 5th trait too. These are the women who complain they can't find any "good" men. They filter out the men with the personality they want through items 1-4 and then can't find anyone with all 5. The problem with dating apps is that it is too easy to filter the best of the best in categories 1-4 - which leave most guys unable to compete in those items at all. Most men who are the cream of the crop with items 1-4 have so little incentive to develop number 5 that they don't bother.
While Courtney is right women put less emphasis on looks than men, they definitely put more emphasis on "attractiveness" as that includes height. Women don't budge on height because it is part of their gut level attractiveness to a guy. A man will hook up, date and marry a women who is slightly to moderately below him on the looks scale and do not give a damn about height. Women will not do this.
The good thing about this is men have 100% control over items 2-5. My advice as a short man (5'5) who has had a bit of success with women - don't waste effort on a woman that doesn't find you attractive immediately. In my case, this is pretty much every woman taller than me so it was easy to sort out. If a women makes eye contact with you frequently, glances at you frequently, smiles frequently at you while making eye contact, finds excuses to touch you frequently, laughs at your jokes then she is attracted to you and you can spend effort on her. If not move on.
If you happen to be 6 foot or taller, congratulations you can focus on items 2-5 and become either a chad or unicorn husband.
What really attracts a real man to a woman who is genuine ,nice ,full of strong character,fun personality ,mutual interests ,mature ,old soul It goes both ways ladies!
I love this woman. Also, I've embraced my gray hairs and tell people I wish I had MORE gray hair just so I could look more like George Clooney so I laughed when I saw the bit for him.
Corey Wayne has it right when it comes to, being vulnerable for men.
Yeah Corey wayne is amazing
"Aston Martin?"
"Ford Fiesta."
"Rolex?"
"Timex."
"Armani suit?"
"Tip Top tailors."
"OH JAMES, TAKE ME NOW!"
😂
I've got a date tomorrow but I think I need to work on myself more, I quit smoking, drinking and eating meat. I'm just starting to exercise now and will look at bettering my career. I've been buying fragrances and putting together nice outfits hopefully I'll get there one day
My hair color has been the attractant. I know it’s not typical, because of the feedback. Being different has really been positive for me.
Woman love dark hair
@@cripbk2147 I agree with you. Except if I happen to be in their eyeshot.
“Kindness.” “Talk about your feelings.” If you gentleman want to get ghosted? Just do that lmao 🤣.
Sadly yes.
Social safety (popularity) is probably ranked higher than physical & emotional safety. On that note, I think that safety in all regards are what main points of hypergamy. Preferences/pathogenic beliefs also play a role here but more they skew hypergamy ever so slightly. Great video.
Honesty is the best policy, so I will apply the concept to my reaction to this video and it is easier to focus first on what was explained towards the end: Wear red? Not for me. I prefer black, white, light brown and blue.
As an introvert, I seem to come off as brooding and aloof; but instead of pretending to be someone I am not, what I do instead is adapt to the environment in order to meet someone.
I do agree with the moderate mustache and beard, specially since I look way too young for my age.
Thank you very much, Courtney. I just subbed to your channel.
Great outfit. I don't know what traits women would find attactive in men, but I can surely see what traits men would find attactive in women. for sure. Thanks.
you can not generalise - I know rather attractive women who can't find any partner and desperately look for a partner and I know men who have lots of choices but of course it can be vice versa as well.
Hello it work I can't believe I'm with my love again after so many years of break-up Dr🏃🏃,...,, he do alot of work okay.., and keep to his words and it works within 48hours
Courtney did you ever play the hypergamy card?
She is always looking even when I’m a relationship
@@ericmoore9444 That didn't make sense.
@@ericmoore9444 yeah that's a lie.
Does direct mean telling a girl you want sex?
💀💀💀💀💀
Yes
Being that direct can definitely turn her off. You definitely need to wait until the arousal cues come and then feed into them so that you won't even have to directly say anything, it will just happen naturally between the two of you. Women need that built up in their minds before feeling safe to proceed (unless she's a 304), men just flip the switch. DO NOT confuse men&women. We are not the same lmao
She already knows that guys want sex
@@LatimusChadimus time > opinionz
I've read 20 more articles on the topic beside this one in the video, and composed top 5 characteristics for attraction:
1) humor / fun;
2) confidence (as always) in body language and conversation;
3) being a good listener;
4) intelligence;
5) good posture and a bit of muscle.
Definitely not "wear red" 😅
i agree with everything you said. primarily the one thing about looks not being the end all be all, it helps for sure, but i think its the confidence and assurance in yourself. Like if you're an 5 or 6 in the face but you now how to dress, you smell nice, you groom youself that can dramatically increase your overrall attractiveness. so looks is very encompassing its not black and white at all
Sometimes I have to remind myself that there are women out there who actually want to be with me more than I want them. I have missed out on so many relationships because of self doubt. Confidence over long term is key.
There must be some nuance or fine line to "being vulnerable" that we haven't figured out yet. The messaging is that being vulnerable is sexy and attractive, but the anecdotal evidence seems to indicate that it kills attraction. There's got to be some underlying middle ground there.
A woman wants to be put in her place by a leader and, at the same
time, she wants to take care of him...it's the last part that creates confusion, people mistake it for being vulnerable. In reality it's the boyish charm that combined with being a leader makes the guy irresistible to a woman.
@@GubyIQ Ok so your basically stating what we’ve always know, women don’t know what the hell they want.
@@GubyIQ yeah I’m sorry, but what you just said makes no sense
@@GubyIQ dude, get some self esteem, you aren’t talking about a bratty child here, but a woman, I can tell you are young, don’t worry about stuff like this, focus in life for the moment
@@amoongsoos where'd you get the idea I have a low self esteem?🤔
_"Women want to feel secure"_ *= try to control EVERYTHING including accusations of toxic masculinity as the excuse for dumping a man who cannot be manipulated the way she requires.*
I'm surprised to see the dark triad did not make an appearance here, in a supposedly "according to science" take, Courtney. Perhaps a video is in order for your take on women's attraction to these dark personality traits?
of course, attractiveness traits are different when courting (before marriage or before sex), after marriage, after child birth, and in old age. i think that the traits presented here are for courting. some traits might be universal, some not.
attractiveness can change significantly after sex or after marriage. for example, having a "purpose" (that is, work, earning money, hobbies,...) can be taken to extreme. when courting, being "extreme" or above average can attract attention and desire, but later can seem unbalanced.
When girls told me what attracted them to me I was shocked by the superficiality and childness of what they said. And know how short they will stick to such reasons of attraction.
I had one woman tell me that I'm "smart as f*ck". She claims to be a sapiosexual, and says I have an active mind, and that it turns her on. I suppose I can't complain about that. She also told me I was "insanely handsome".
That means that if you weren't handsome shes suddenly not sapio anymore
Sounds borderline risky. Sometimes a narcissist will feed your own ego so that you will accept theirs and later she will take control so I would simply say thank you and not let it make you
Run!!!
So, to sum it up, if you don't have alot of money women aren't interested in you. This is a consistent theme I keep hearing from this channel. Money, clothes, looks, facial features, etc. I have known these for years. I'm almost 52 and I've been single for 23 years. I'm not a cheater or a liar but it cones to money. I'm not trying to be negative, but not everyone is rich and can afford expensive clothes and plastic surgery to change my face. The theme of this channel seems to be money, looks and clothes
@Jay Bee I'm not sure where you seen any of the shit you're spewing
I have lost 25k to lieing scamming women. It's not about paying half, it's about the money plain and simple so don't give me that crap
Alright I left tis comment on the older videos of Courtneys but as a ASIAN 5'4"( not really sought after and you can forget about online dating lol) the beautiful women I " pulled" did tell me it was my manners , the way I speak so I'm guessing communication/ interpersonal skills , and confidence is what attracted them mostly . and that I am clean . PS. I'm broke lool. I truly truly believe in my short kings and I believe If i was able, you can too.
🙂 nice to hear...Good luck
PROTECTION also includes showing your morals and values through you're willingness to protect. Not being okay with injustice and doing something about it is the singlehandedly most attractive thing a man can do.
I think this video and the scientific research is accurate. Women are attracted to men with resources also red is a color of passion & boldness I see why people are attracted to the color
I think it makes more sense to say this, "women date the men with a six pack, they settle for men with a dad bod."
This is the best class i ever seen for a while 😳... i 💙 it teacher 👍🏻
Bring more of these classes please.
OK. Thank you for this. I think I got it now. All that we men have to remember is that we need to have everything, be everything, and do everything. Nice. What is your job, woman? Why don’t you do a video about that?
👏
I agree being richer, more protective, and older but not very attractive will get many women but the women definitely do not love them. If the study shows many women settle with rich guys does not mean you will get a healthy relationship by being rich
You are by far the best challenge for this, thanks so much!!
@0:31 - "Don't Call yourself an Alpha Male"
Meanwhile Fresh & Fit Stans every 15 seconds "I'm a High Value Omega Man"
Hahahahaha
At least your situational awareness is much higher than theirs so haha let us agree that your awareness level is much more valuable hahaha
Thank you for the advice for being an gentleman
Women LOVE a civil man capable of being lethal. Don't embarrass her and don't hurt her.
@@LatimusChadimus I will not embarrass her and I will treat her like an Disney princess that she is.
@@derrickmccann8489 and she won't respect you. She's not a princess. Monarchies are illegal in America so we're all just plain people. Do what you will but just know that if you treat her like a celebrity she will treat you like a fan and she would rather complement your life than be the center of your life because that puts a burden of performance on her instead of you which means if she fails she will be embarrassed and then you just failed at what you said you were going to do
@@LatimusChadimus oh you are so right im sorry about my comment and I will treat her with the honest of respect for rest of her beautiful life
@@derrickmccann8489 treat her like a person, for sure, but just remember that men and women are different so don't treat her like you would your friends. There is an interesting mentality, treat women like children, which will help you take charge, be decisive, and maintain boundaries, which will then help her feel so secure that she can be her feminine self, which is beautiful, but sometimes a daddy will spoil his little girl vs finding balance so do find balance.
Courtney I'm glad that your content isn't 🧢🧢🧢 like other posts I've seen, keep it up
(Edit: just saw the be emotionally vulnerable part 😅🤣 -- guys, if you've seen Bruce Willis in Friends, there's a reason why Rachel wanted him to open up but, his sobbing was ultimately shown as a punchline! Just sayin', mostly strength with the infrequent sprinkling of emotions is the sweet spot -- like Aba and Preach said, women fetishize THEIR man's emotions, e.g. in intimate moments, weddings and funerals)
Regarding women claiming they want a man who shares their emotions, they will weaponize them and use them against you the moment things go bad. Men need to be very, very careful about what emotions they share with a woman.