Funny Kid Logic
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ธ.ค. 2020
- Fresh AskReddit Stories: Ok Parents, Teachers, Camp Counselors, Bus Drivers, anyone who has to deal with kids, what are the funniest things you've heard kids say? Any notable conversations? Hysterical kid logic? --- LIKE AND I WILL UPLOAD MORE REDDIT STORIES!
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When I was a kid I was asked: "who came first the chicken or the egg?" Like a genius I said "The rooster." I was very unset that everyone laughed at my answer
I had been separated from my wife for about a year. My kids (5YO & 10YO) were using my phone for something when they found a picture of me with a woman. They asked, "Daddy - Who is this?" I decided it was honesty time so I told them that I went on a date with her. Their indignant response was priceless.
"You went on a date??? AND YOU DIDNT BRING US??!!!!"
I had braces a few years ago and a little kid came up to me and said,”Why are you wearing a necklace on your teeth?”
Video game necklace type thig
😂😂
69th like
That is funny
That is so cute!
"If buttholes could fly, this place would be an airport" that shit got me a solid laugh
I remember seeing a video of a little kid seeing dragonflies for the first time ever, he called them baby helicopters. My heart man..
aaawwwweeeee😂💕
I have a couple of gems from my daughter when she was about three or four:
She told my mother-in-law that she would cut her head off and hide it so that no one would find it.
She told me one day that she wanted Tarzan for lunch. When I asked if she wanted to watch Tarzan while she had lunch, she said no, she wanted to eat Tarzan.
She said her favorite part of the Lion King was when Mufasa died.
Yeah, we were worried for a few years… But now she is the sweetest most gentle child ever. Dodged a bullet!
I wonder if she's just gonna be really into horror movies. Try showing her goosebumps and see if she likes it. XD I started out liking scary musicals like nightmare before christmas and corpse bride, along with favoring the unabridged folktales and fairy tales because cinderella's sisters got their comeuppance.
Working in retail, a little kid, maybe 4 years old comes to the counter with his mum. She asks him to put his chocolate bar up so I can scan it, but the little guy fumbles and it drops at his feet.
Kid: "Bollocks... Bollocks bollocks bollocks!"
I was creasing up, going red in the face, and the mum shot me a venomous look that said 'don't you dare encourage him by laughing'
The was 16 years ago and I still chuckle when I think about it.
that’s awesome
moms have some sort of telepathy i tell ya
I'm not an adult yet but I have a job in which I coach kids. We were washing our hands before our lesson for covid regulations and this kid comes up to me and says they can't use soap because they're allergic. I said just to wash her hands under water for the time being and get some paper towel for her. She then says "don't worry I'm not allergic to paper towel".
I'm like cool? And as she's drying her hands she says to me "hmm I might be allergic to bee and wasp stings though but we don't know!"
She then puts the paper towel in the bin and we have to give a stamp to the kids to know who has washed hands or not. As I'm about to give her a stamp she stops me and says "I can't have a stamp of a bee please!"
It was so adorable and I love it
"I was not born to sleep"- my 4 year old brother
He replaces the sleep with just about anything he doesn't want to do like tidy his room, eat his dinner
My 6yo son hates when his 8yo sister smacks loudly while they're at the table. One day he was pouting and refused to eat because she was doing this so I told her she had to learn to chew with her mouth closed like everyone else. She gon look me in my eyes and say "but I was born with my mouth open". Yo I had to leave the room cuz how she even come up with that ???😭
When I was 4, my mom took me to the grocery store. There was a nun there. I asked her "Who are you, the virgin Mary?" I distinctly remember it and my mom loves telling that story in a crowd.
My 3-year-old niece went through a phase not too long ago when she’d randomly comment that every person she met looked like Harriet Tubman. Her parents read her a whole bunch of children’s books about inspirational female historical figures, so that’s probably where she learned the name.
Anyway, EVERYONE apparently looked like Harriet Tubman to her (our family’s white). Her grandmother? Looks like Harriet Tubman. My boyfriend? Looks like Harriet Tubman. A random white male stranger we passed by on the street? He looks like Harriet Tubman. We had to discourage her from saying it, for fear that she’d innocently blurt it out in front of a random African-American woman and come across as racist.
Even if she did, they'd prob just laugh it off. When I was little, born to a white family, the first black person I met was named 'Reggie'. So naturally, as a toddler I called every black person we met 'Reggie'. They loved it and laughed every time.
Around 5th or 6th grade, my mom and some other random lady got into a conversation at Walmart. Mom then expressed my interest in writing (it came up somehow). The lady suggested I should write children's books. I, who had already written in the death of a main character in my first manuscript, wisely told the woman "I like violence." My mom had to clarify a few things.
When I was in 1st grade (6-7) my friend said “I’m not in the mood to breathe”. Yes. It’s an exact quote. I remember it vividly 12 years later because it was funny. I also don’t care if any of these stories are fake.
feel
“Dong’s Sporting Goods”
Thanks a lot, Prudes.
EDIT: I just made it to the point where it straight-up said Penis. I swear Robert Heinlein was more consistent than these askreddit channels
for me, "Im not allergic to bees, but when i get stung by one, i have an allergic reaction"
My dad was reading to my 6yo sister and mispronounced the word tidy. Keep in mild that english isn’t my dads first language and although he’s been speaking it for years he still had his moments. He mispronounced tidy very VERY wrong. My sister went around saying things like “mom and dad still like titty” and “well daddy still like titty”(my parents like to keep the house clean). She kept saying cause she could see us laughing.
For reference, the name of a native of Jupiter is "Jovian". Jupiter gets its name from the Roman god Jupiter who was also called Jove, and whose Greek equivalent was Zeus.
"I am definitely between 10 and a 100 inches" - Updoot Robo Voice, 2020.
I'm pretty sure no baby that wasn't born early is under 10 inches tall, and very few people have ever been over 8ft tall.
I think when I had my first mustache at 13 to 14 one of my baby cousins walked up to me and pointed; “why do you have caterpillawr on your face?”
Lost it
"*Dong's Sporting Goods!" 😆
I remember people chuckling at me when I called dry skin, "Dinosaur skin". Because of how dry my knuckles were I just remembered it looking like dinosaur skin from the animated movie. They told me it was called dry skin, I listened and then stared at my knuckles and said,"But it's not just dry...It's like the dinosaur's skin"
When I was like 4-5 years old, I experience my leg falling asleep for the first time, I asked my mom about it she said it was "asleep", I kept on shaking my leg until it "woke up" and would sometime whisper to it and say "wake up"
My most wtf moment: Ppl always say I look younger than I am, but one day I was at a bus stop and a 6yo girl was staring at my ear piercings, when I stared back at her, she asked where was my mom.
Like I was a 20yo male and she couldnt fathom how I was outside my house without my mom kkkkk
When my brother was about 4 or 5 he said that he was older than me. I asked why that was, he says "Well, I was born in 2010 and you were born in 2004, 10 is bigger than 4, so I'm older than you." I was about 9 at the time and I argued about everything. We argued about it for a while before my mother explained how years work.
My little foster brother said to me, "When I'm your size, you can have another birthday."
Me: "When you're my size, I can have another birthday? So we'll both be the same?"
"Yep! On the same day!"
Then my little cousin was born on my birthday, years later. I wonder if we'll be the same.
I kid from camp once told me: „we are not rich, we just have a lot of money!“
I used to call pins and needles "Fizzy Feet"
I'm gay and worked as a CIT at a camp last summer. The kids could understand that Nina has two dads, but couldn't fathom the concept of me being gay (they asked if I was dating anyone in a game of truth or dare). It was pretty funny. One of the counselors told them that there were minnows in the creek that would bump against their legs, and they were very insistent that the minnows would eat their legs. They had a game that consisted of using all the outdoor toys to attempt to beat me up. I'm 15 they're 5 so I didn't get hurt and it just wore them out.
From my time working in a YMCA:
*kid sprinting to me*: I’m zomica heyjog!!
Me:....
Kid:....
Co-worker:...
Me:...
Co-worker: SONIC! Your sonic the hedgehog!?
Kid: *smiles*
“I love the smell of dongs.”
That had me laughing for the rest of the video
Had a speech issue back when I was little and had trouble with s and sh sounds, so there were times when I would say in all seriousness "Im going to go shit over there", much to the amusement of my parents.
This one😂😂
Me as a kid
*cuts salamander in half with a shovel*
"Now I have two!"
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition
I play DnD in a game shop a few days a week. Every once in a while, when we play in the room next to the kids game, the commentary we hear is hilarious to us that range from ~20 to 60 y/o. Some of it is quite tame for kids like “I bet that guy has gas” or “that person is a poophead”. Other times it’s like “How bouncy is the butt when that person fell?” It’s all over the place and it’s a bit hard to contain our laughter sometimes
Lol mom was not ready. Lol the spongebob movie one.
One time my mom and I heard a three year old girl say to her mom "I want a hoho." Then her mom responded "You want a hoho? Can you sing 'hoho' like Santa Clause?" Then the girl started singing at random.😆
i hope Cheese and Toast kid is doing alright
saaame💕
since im a kid i know when they say something weird, like how although im a kid i agree with every adult saying kids are annoying
The three cats sound like folklore figures. It's like a symbollic afterlife.
"The first, the greeter cat welcomes you to the abode, The second, he warns you, for you need not go farther. The third, doesn't speak for you did not heed the warning. You ascended the mountain, there is no return"
Camp counselor for 10 year old boys. One spilled a jar of BB's on plywood floor. 8 boys crawling under bunks collecting them. One said "Do you know what we need? A trained anteater".
"hey boys come take a look at this sausage"- Quote of the year
7:55 "Yes, and you're flight 107."
I wonder whether that would put the kid in his place, at least for a moment.
Owie sprinkles might be the cutest thing I've ever heard on one of these videos.
I may be 19, but I am still a kid. Watch out for my terrible kid logic.
So, I’m blind and have been at least visually impared my entire life. When I was little, I went to this event in California called the Blind Olympics. Think like the SpEd Olympics, but just for the blind. I went for three years before I had to stop going for insurance reasons. I had this photo of myself and my team on my nightstand for a few years and loved to talk about what it’d been like, even when I ended up getting strep while I was there the day after my birthday.
So my little sister and I used to share a room at our grandparents’ house. I was talking to her about it one night (For reference, we’re five years apart, so she was very little at the time) and just kinda fondly looking back on how much fun it had been. Now, we had another older sister, but by the time the youngest was old enough to remember, our sister had moved out. Apparently, my little sis thought that it was just a phase of life that everybody went through, or at least that every female went through. Because I vividly remember her beginning a sentence that night with, “When I’M blind and I go to the Blind Olympics-” But the poor thing never got the chance to finish because of how hard I started laughing. I still tease her about it today, and she’ll jab back at me with, “Well, at least I can still see.” Love that little dweeb
My brother was about 4 when this happened. My grandpa put two pairs of underpants on him lol
Took me a minute to realize it was Dick's sporting goods
I work in a museum, there’s an art gallery section so a lot of naked paintings and sculptures.
Kids love it, they giggle, point and have the time of their lives at all the “naughty pictures”.
There’s a particular sculpture of a naked Adonis, a group of 8 year old girls were completely enamoured with him. One in particular bravely declared “I like him, I’m going to marry him”.
My In-laws committed a murder-suicide with both killed. We were driving from Pennsylvania to North Carolina to attend the funeral and also my wife was named executor. It was a pretty dismal trip down I95. I tried avoiding DC by getting off of I95 and using a shortcut. We happened to drive by a Pawn shop. It had a sign on its front: "Jewelry and Loans". After we had gone about a block, my 10 year old son turned to me and said, "At least they're honest about their prices." I laughed all the way to Wilmington.
A Random Cryptid approved
W…what is a Cryptid?
I think it’s when a grave is made into a big house made of stone in the grave yard
Karl Marx Oh ok
@@goodoldcarburetors5592 no that is a crypt a Cryptid is a mythical or not scientifically discovered creature like bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster
Yoo u kinda weird bro
My son jumped on my back and said 'i'm your captain now bitch'
When one of my sons was really young....2 or 3...he couldn't pronounce the "tr" sound. He just replaced it with F. So, you could imagine the sound of "Firetruck"
And that Molly story with two moms shows kids are not stupid and should be taught about same sex marriage early since they will just accept it and it be normal and thus make the next generation better
My nephew (from my husband's side) is an incredibly crafty kid. I hadn't been married to my husband long but really wanted to build a relationship with all 9 nephews and nieces. I'm a big history nerd. So when i got a text message from the oldest asking me about a Historical matter i was just absolutely thrilled. We went back and forth a few minutes when my coworker found me in the break room and asked me for the time. I checked my watch and that's when it hit me... My nephew would still be at school at this time...
The clever little butt was taking a History exam and tricked me in to helping him cheat.
🤦🏼♀️
“Dongs sporting goods” lol
Was there a reason the stop-drop-and-roll kid's teacher made him be silent for the rest of lunchtime as punishment because he made a harmless funny joke? Or did the teacher just feel like being the anti-fun police that day? 🙄
Dong's Sporting Goods 😂😂😂
This is the reason why that I want to have a career in child care.
Back when I was ten or so, my parents and I were watching Raiders Of The Lost Ark to celebrate its anniversary. Anyway, we got to the scene where Indy and Marion met the little monkey for the first time, and in that scene, the monkey accidentally knocks over a glass of wine and then proceeds to jump on Marion. I said, in all earnestness, "I guess he spilled the wine and dug that girl", paraphrasing Spill The Wine by Eric Burdon and War. My mom laughed really, really hard, as did my dad.
The kid with the two pairs of pants sounds weirdly familiar and I'm scared XD
Me silently laughing at 15:40
I really like that cat story! She's got a promising future as a writer!
5:03 why does this sound like a joke about Sheen, Jimmy Neutron and Carl?
I went to Washington DC with my Girl Scout Troop years ago, and some of the younger siblings of the troop members tagged along. We were at one of the Smithsonian museums, when one of the younger siblings started tugging at my dad's hat while saying, "THIS IS MY HAT!"
I did get it on video, but the quality is abhorrent because of the phone I had at the time. That doesn't make it any less funny, though!
Additional note: My dad was a chaperone for the trip, so that's why he also went with us.
Me and my dad we’re playing I got your nose and he “took” my face, and acted like he tossed it and I had a meltdown screaming “GIVE ME BACK MY FACE! GIVE IT BACK! We never did play that again I was 4
7:26 YESSSS a kid who’s just like me!! I bet he doesn’t know the parts to A Spanish Piece, Up the Khyber, or It Would Be So Nice, though! THAT’D be impressive!
17:09 - if words could kill... this sentence would definitely qualify - holy sh!t XD
In case you're curious about the correct name for a being from Jupiter I'd suggest you try looking here:
www.quora.com/What-would-you-call-a-being-from-each-of-the-planets-of-our-solar-system
Not jupes, Jovians!
At the end of the year we will all yell “Jumnji” to get out 2020. Share if you want 😁
You cannot share a comment- ._.
@@channelmoved6918 I meant like Retype it somewhere else, to like spread the word (or something, Idk 🤷🏿♀️)
My cousin has a slight learning disability and neither the school nor her parents make much of an effort to help her, so her reading, writing and reading comprehension are absolutely terrible.
Playing charades with her is a treat since not only does she not know what a word is or what it means, but ecen if she did her mind goes to the craziest, most distant place and combined with her inappropriateness makes it quite horrific, amusing and frustrating. I thought it might be easier for her to play Pictionary, but I was so, so very mistaken. I forget what the prompt was, but what she ended up drawing one time was some horrible monkey demon whose tail more resembled an enormous phallus almost the same size as its body. And it was not her intent to look like that. * shudders * Oh the memories.
7:36 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
When my little sister was four she could not pronounce the st- sound. It would come out as the letter d. For example, the word story would sound like dory. Or the world steak would sound like dake.
Anyways, my step sister and I decided to take my little sister to the park a few blocks away to play. While walking home my sister picked up a stick and put it in a hole in a manhole/sewer cover. She immediately came running up to my stepsister and I all excited and announced that she "put the dick in the hole"
I don't think neither I or my stepsister laughed so hard in our lives. My little sister is 33 now and I still give her crap about it. And we both laugh to this day
I’m between 10 to 100 inches is exactly why you should listen to Radio TTS.
I can't with these stories
Mkay
I’m a kid but I’m an older kid I’m 13 we went to a church camp over the summer and I went with my churches youth group we where in two groups 6-9 year olds and 10 to 13 year olds the little girls got in a huge argument with tears and everything over a dead dragon fly and who saw it first 💀
I love the idea that gays come from Narnia 😂
Dong's Sporting Goods
Lol
STOP DROP AND ROLL!
Ayy first
Its nerf or nothing
E
Volf
Super mega liberal and hating Jews kind of lines up though
That may be the single dumbest thing I've heard all week. Nothing about what you said makes any sense.