You are the first one that spoke to me. I am seeing a therapist and it was indicated my Chronic Anxiety (after 25yrs) is my relationship. We dated for 13 years and have been married for 20 years. I used to joke I was in the "Cheaper to Keep Her" marriage. Sad but true. He is angry, i do nothing right, our arguing has become almost daily. Let me re-phrase he verbally attacks almost daily over the most petty things, he is an angry man. I have been seeing a therapist to talk out issues with my siblings (long story). I have spoken to a Divorce Attorney to make sure I have myself protected (I am 59 and been with him for 33 years total) . I have suggested he see someone but "he doesn't have a problem" He said he would go to a Marriage Counselor but until he gets help it would be a waste of time due to "he said, she said" he is always right,
You've been through a lot over a long time. I'm glad you're getting consistent help, and support for leaving the abusive behaviors. You're right! If he doesn't think he has a problem, it is unlikely that a therapist can help with that. I have had clients, though, who had marriages like yours. When the difficult person realized that they would be alone--really got it, some did care enough to at least try to make changes. Most don't, though. Thirty-three years is a very long pattern! I wish you well. If I can help you, BeAClient.com Rhoberta
It's beyond logical or emotional reasoning. It's pre-verbal, primitive brain fear of death & anihilation. Complete vulnerability as an infant on predators for basic needs instills fear. Inability to stand up to a tiger as an baby. 🙄😵😨
Well my partner used to be angry on me like every week , he would found anything to be mad about. If I say no to something he would get crazy mad, angry, negative etc. I came from family where my parents used to fight everyday. In my country most of womens still please men which is so annoying to me, partner should be in same line next to me not that i am better or he is better than me anyway what I am trying to say it is really hard to change someone who is always mad at ya and you should be afraid... 'cause all you think all the time is when he is gonna say I am living you. Really messy situation. But also if we look on side of partner who is always mad look at his father or stepfather he must be angry on his mother also for something all the time so there is where it comes from now you see why is it hard to change , men doesn't see that psyhological way usally....
I understand. There are several cultures where the anger of the men is supposedly a show of power, and the subservience of women, an act of understanding the dynamic expected. You're right! It's a really messy situation. It's historic, environmental, and perpetuated. Your understanding of equality--and desire to share and express it--may not be readily accepted, but is important to work towards, for sure! I wish you well.
@@ForRelationshipHelp thank you for your understending this. Yeah that is so true and how much it have impact on mens or womens. Well I whis everyone knows this , this is thing what we should learn our children to be preper for real life. Anyway best regards!
You are the first one that spoke to me. I am seeing a therapist and it was indicated my Chronic Anxiety (after 25yrs) is my relationship. We dated for 13 years and have been married for 20 years. I used to joke I was in the "Cheaper to Keep Her" marriage. Sad but true. He is angry, i do nothing right, our arguing has become almost daily. Let me re-phrase he verbally attacks almost daily over the most petty things, he is an angry man. I have been seeing a therapist to talk out issues with my siblings (long story).
I have spoken to a Divorce Attorney to make sure I have myself protected (I am 59 and been with him for 33 years total) . I have suggested he see someone but "he doesn't have a problem" He said he would go to a Marriage Counselor but until he gets help it would be a waste of time due to "he said, she said" he is always right,
You've been through a lot over a long time. I'm glad you're getting consistent help, and support for leaving the abusive behaviors.
You're right! If he doesn't think he has a problem, it is unlikely that a therapist can help with that. I have had clients, though, who had marriages like yours. When the difficult person realized that they would be alone--really got it, some did care enough to at least try to make changes. Most don't, though. Thirty-three years is a very long pattern!
I wish you well. If I can help you, BeAClient.com
Rhoberta
Thank you for this advice 👍🏻 helped a lot.
Glad it helped!
It's beyond logical or emotional reasoning. It's pre-verbal, primitive brain fear of death & anihilation. Complete vulnerability as an infant on predators for basic needs instills fear. Inability to stand up to a tiger as an baby. 🙄😵😨
You're so right!
Well my partner used to be angry on me like every week , he would found anything to be mad about. If I say no to something he would get crazy mad, angry, negative etc. I came from family where my parents used to fight everyday. In my country most of womens still please men which is so annoying to me, partner should be in same line next to me not that i am better or he is better than me anyway what I am trying to say it is really hard to change someone who is always mad at ya and you should be afraid... 'cause all you think all the time is when he is gonna say I am living you. Really messy situation. But also if we look on side of partner who is always mad look at his father or stepfather he must be angry on his mother also for something all the time so there is where it comes from now you see why is it hard to change , men doesn't see that psyhological way usally....
I understand. There are several cultures where the anger of the men is supposedly a show of power, and the subservience of women, an act of understanding the dynamic expected.
You're right! It's a really messy situation. It's historic, environmental, and perpetuated. Your understanding of equality--and desire to share and express it--may not be readily accepted, but is important to work towards, for sure! I wish you well.
@@ForRelationshipHelp thank you for your understending this. Yeah that is so true and how much it have impact on mens or womens. Well I whis everyone knows this , this is thing what we should learn our children to be preper for real life. Anyway best regards!
😭