This is bizarre. Dr R when you talked about the guy who got drunk on his wedding night and left. The VERY same thing happened to me. My ahole ex...got blind drunk on our wedding night and I went to the motel room on my own. He flipped so quick it was blinding.... his excuse in the morning was....I never thought I would get married...this is a big deal... I am giving up so much for you... I hope you know that... I am giving up my whole life.... I was so overwhelmed last night when I realised that I was married... I just couldn't handle it ... Not one bit of regret....just made me feel so bad and looking back he was setting me up to prove that I was worth him...and that I would bust a gut to make him realise that he had gotten something better than his previous life ....oh me oh my... they are nothing but evil and mean .. It's embarrassing to admit that I got sucked in.
That is a bizarre co-incidence. I hope you won't spend much time being embarrassed by wanting to believe a #Hijackal, and wanting to make his life better at the expense of your own. None of us can know this stuff about #Hijackals until we learn it, and often, the hard way. I'm so glad that you learned, left, and moved on. That's the most important thing: that we learned and healed and trust ourselves not to engage with any again for more than the hot minute it takes to see them for who they really are. You graduated! Yay!
The Relationship Help Doctor Thank you. I am shocked you replied. But very grateful. Yes graduated only now at 63. But I think I might be on the honour roll... hahaha. Because today the 24.6.2019 is my mother's funeral day....and I am not going. Hijackal siblings are feasting and fighting. I have stepped out of the fray completely and it is quite shocking to see the results. Amusing really....now that I have clarity on these people. Wow....is all I can say. And I am very peaceful about my decision. No more. Finally a message to others here.... I want to encourage you on your journey! The peace and freedom you will find after working through the pain.. of losing what is an illusion anyway.....is unbelievable. Much love to all. X
@@bandieboo8102 I understand completely. I am an only child so I had to organize my mother's funeral. Lots of people. Lots. No tears, just duty. Congratulations on being free of a crazy-making family system! It is amazing to watch, once you see it, for sure. I think most folks have some grief from never have had an appropriate, welcoming, loving, supportive, healthy family system. And, that's what friends are for. Big hugs!
Would love to see a video specifically addressing the mother \ daughter dynamic when your mom is the hijackal, such as red flags most likely to present themselves in this dynamic. Focusing in part on the types that are of the quiet variety. 🙏
Thanks.. it really does confirm.. but he used so much the holding grudge against me that he kept me thinking it was my fault all along on an event that happened in the first 2 months we met.. and on and on we go.. confusion of "if this really hapenning" kept me in also.. it just doesn't make common sense... even if he did't believe in past affect present or emotion etc .. nothing made sense. ---- Ah got to the spot in the video where you speak about it.. oh well how much longer can I deny...
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Rhoberta, I love your practical wisdom 🦉🙏
This is bizarre. Dr R when you talked about the guy who got drunk on his wedding night and left. The VERY same thing happened to me. My ahole ex...got blind drunk on our wedding night and I went to the motel room on my own. He flipped so quick it was blinding.... his excuse in the morning was....I never thought I would get married...this is a big deal... I am giving up so much for you... I hope you know that... I am giving up my whole life.... I was so overwhelmed last night when I realised that I was married... I just couldn't handle it ...
Not one bit of regret....just made me feel so bad and looking back he was setting me up to prove that I was worth him...and that I would bust a gut to make him realise that he had gotten something better than his previous life ....oh me oh my... they are nothing but evil and mean ..
It's embarrassing to admit that I got sucked in.
That is a bizarre co-incidence. I hope you won't spend much time being embarrassed by wanting to believe a #Hijackal, and wanting to make his life better at the expense of your own. None of us can know this stuff about #Hijackals until we learn it, and often, the hard way. I'm so glad that you learned, left, and moved on. That's the most important thing: that we learned and healed and trust ourselves not to engage with any again for more than the hot minute it takes to see them for who they really are. You graduated! Yay!
The Relationship Help Doctor Thank you. I am shocked you replied. But very grateful. Yes graduated only now at 63. But I think I might be on the honour roll... hahaha. Because today the 24.6.2019 is my mother's funeral day....and I am not going. Hijackal siblings are feasting and fighting. I have stepped out of the fray completely and it is quite shocking to see the results. Amusing really....now that I have clarity on these people. Wow....is all I can say. And I am very peaceful about my decision. No more. Finally a message to others here.... I want to encourage you on your journey! The peace and freedom you will find after working through the pain.. of losing what is an illusion anyway.....is unbelievable. Much love to all. X
@@bandieboo8102 I understand completely. I am an only child so I had to organize my mother's funeral. Lots of people. Lots. No tears, just duty.
Congratulations on being free of a crazy-making family system! It is amazing to watch, once you see it, for sure.
I think most folks have some grief from never have had an appropriate, welcoming, loving, supportive, healthy family system. And, that's what friends are for. Big hugs!
Would love to see a video specifically addressing the mother \ daughter dynamic when your mom is the hijackal, such as red flags most likely to present themselves in this dynamic. Focusing in part on the types that are of the quiet variety. 🙏
I'll certainly use that topic. Thanks.
This podcast episode might also help: th-cam.com/video/Xel7nPJeCAU/w-d-xo.html
Thanks.. it really does confirm.. but he used so much the holding grudge against me that he kept me thinking it was my fault all along on an event that happened in the first 2 months we met.. and on and on we go.. confusion of "if this really hapenning" kept me in also.. it just doesn't make common sense... even if he did't believe in past affect present or emotion etc .. nothing made sense. ---- Ah got to the spot in the video where you speak about it.. oh well how much longer can I deny...
Dr. Roberta, you understand from the inside out
Excellent and thank you