Cause people rather be in denail This is one of the video that isn't validifing their inherit thoughts and opinions but instead make people ACTUALLY REFLECT ON THEIR LIFE CHOICES
The single worst aspect of being in love with a manipulator is the fact that it felt like the truest relationship I've ever had. I've spent a good 4 years deprograming and debriefing from it, and I still can't really discern how much of it was real.
This. I hate that feeling of not knowing if everything is ok or if it's wrong or if their intentions are really what they say when you find out it's totally the opposite.
I feel you.. sometimes I still wonder.. 16 years of manipulation.. I need to stick to the facts of what happened and not to my feelings. I gaslight myself about the past..
@@BetaBuxDelux I would add: They try to transfer their responsabilities to others, everything is other people's fault and twists reality making you feel always doubting about yourself
One of the worst things I’ve ever been through. Be careful people because they can steal your confidence and make you feel wrong for no reason at all lol
@@ladennayoung2939 Idk I tend to use “lol” often for some reason. Also can’t really do much but look back and learn from the experience and laugh at the pain of what I had to go through to learn some lessons.
@@ladennayoung2939 Idk it’s just a habit I have when I type out a comment or text. Also I can only look back at my experience and laugh off some of the pain I had to go through to learn the lessons I did to help me grow. Hope all is well with you and the manipulators stay far away from us as possible!
With clarity I understood how my feelings where right, my lashing out in small ways was not abusive, I never lay a wrong hand, raised my voice or made her feel unsafe, I learnt with time that nothing I had ever said was completley private always sharing always asking for sympathy about my actions. Burning bridges and relationships around you, but you wouldn’t dare listen you will defend them untill the day they finally cannot keep up the facade
Spent 11 years with a manipulator. As someone that has struggled to see my own value outside of what I can provide for people, it took a very long time for me to realize what was happening. It's never too late.
Yes they are very selfish and can't look passed their own glasses but they will criticize their target that they should think passed themselves They reverse psychology
I'm sorry you feel that way, because I'd consider myself an ex-manipulator and It took me a couple of tries and discovering what traumas made me behave this way but I feel that I've made progress, I still love bomb when I enter some relationship especially when I don't manage my emotions for the partner or when I'm trying to avoid other stuff happening in my life but I don't think I've ever gotten past that stage with anyone after starting to work on myself even in multiple years relationships. I usually tell them about my past and my flaws pretty early on so that at the same time they are aware of the risks and can catch on pretty quickly if I ever slip back into old habits and let me correct my behavior.
@@LetGaiaLiveI’m not perfect that’s for sure, but this one girl in my friend group has been with me, another guy in the group and now another dude who has correlation with the group … As a friend she’s fine and I’ve set my boundaries as just friends and nothing more, and tbh I don’t think I actually liked them when we had that complicated relationship. It’s an online group sure but me and her did meet up before. Let’s just say she definitely can be an emotional manipulator, she will bring up things she’s told you countless times that doesn’t bother them, then later try to bring it up when she feels she might be in the wrong. And the over affection and “interest” in you is so true as well, she will do that then later on pull back and even ghost you, then wait awhile leaving you wondering what happened then expect you to say something first to end it, but after me, a friend I talked to and we know how she was involved with me after him, he got back with her… but only for like 2 weeks then he told me I was right about her, he thought she changed but nahhh, she appears changed in person but funny enough her true colors are online. My friend let’s call him star, pointed out all the red flags about her, what she did and some of her manipulative tactics. But as predicted she doesn’t care for conflict and didn’t take in what he said really and just focused on the part of him saying she wasn’t a 10/10 in the looks department, now a 10/10 can have different meanings but he wasn’t calling her ugly he was just saying why do looks have to matter so much? I summed up most of what I could since there is a lot more crap, again I’m not perfect and I’ve admitted but wrongs, so did star with his side of things, but she can’t ever be wrong in a relationship. Now it’s not my issue anymore thankfully, and Star cut ties with her, I did warn him getting back with her could make or break things and it broke em. I keep her at a distance. No one is perfect and she’s not a bad person I’d say, just not emotional mature for a relationship in my opinion, I’m not either that’s why I’m taking a break form trying relationships. But she needs constant attention so she keeps trying with dudes.. and uh she has a flirtatious personality so a lot of guys like her and she knows this, the new guy she’s with in the group, she flirted a bit with him before star and her got together again.. best part is she now feels like being open and actually saying the word boyfriend but never with me or star. It’s a really weird situation ik, but I’m just hoping either this works out and she learned from the past or this fails and actually is a wake up call that you don’t need a girl friend or boyfriend to be happy at first.
I was in a relationship with one. It took me just shy of three years to see through him and finish it. I went from loving him to not even liking him as a person. The main issues were gaslighting, victim mentality, inability to take any responsibility, blame shifting, avoidance, taking my words and using them as his own, minimising, future promising, outright lying and so on. I’m so glad I didn’t waste any more time on him.
Yoo i had kinda same bf..he first broke up saying i deserve better then after just 3-5 days he came back saying he wants 2nd chance and after 4-5 i finally agreed but then i understood that he actually is manipulating me into falling inlove with him so in the end i broke up with :))
Been there, I was isolated until the point I don't have anyone to talk to about this relationship because he suddenly made me unsafe to trust my friends and he kept trying to broke me apart from my family, resenting my brother and parents and made me into thinking that he is the only place I had in this dangerous world, and made me dependent, then he hated me being dependent. It was so confusing.
I’m sorry you went through that. I do have my family so I’m grateful for that. But I can relate to not being able to trust friends after the relationship ended. It’s frustrating knowing that people you thought you could confide in you no longer can out of protection for yourself.
Remember this can be friendships as well. It took me nearly two years of living with my ex friend to truly see who she was. The constant victim mentality and blame shifting was the worst. She made me feel like a terrible person for speaking up about not feeling respected or appreciated. If I called her out on things, she would say "sorry" or "I understand" but there would not be any changed behavior. And if she was in a "bad" mood she would hide behind the word "empath" and shut down any conversation with tears and guilt tripping. She then would turn around and say I was not communicating with her, and text my fiancé behind my back. I know now that her particular "boundaries" were emotional manipulation. Never again will I make myself so destructively small to cater to a fragile ego pretending to be a good person.
Just got out of an abusive relationship, I kept doubting myself that I did the right thing. Because even after I addressed it to him that he was manipulating me he just denied it. He tried gaslighting me that he was not, that I don't know what manipulation is, that I am at fault and that I'm breaking everything off at my own choice . I lost a friend of mine because she believed him over me. This video really helped me see that I did make the right decision and that I'm not paranoid about anything. So thank you for making this content
I just broke up with my partner too as he was very manipulative and I told him. The difference with me is that I didn’t wait to hear what he had to say about me saying he’s a manipulator, I just said my goodbye and ignored him.
@@seanfrance3182 It did, I'm in a better space rn and found such good friends also getting over some problems rn that the relationship gave me but it's way better now
My ex was a grandmaster level manipulator. Months after the breakup, and I'm STILL uncovering manipulative tactics he used. He was a narcissist, and one the likes of which I've never seen. So glad to have gotten away from him.
Mine was too. It was INSANE. I'm still unraveling the layers and layers of manipulation, gaslighting, and cruelty he put me through. The eggshells I walked on 24/7, always fearing the next tiny thing that would set him off. It was hard for me to even voice an opinion for years after breaking up with him.
@@erinbeepbeep5238 it's the worst! The impact they have on us lasts for ages, even once we leave. It affects who we are as individuals, who we are in our interpersonal relationships, and it affects who and how we are with subsequent partners. It's sad how long we jump at shadows, even long after they're gone, because we're just waiting for the next string of attacks and abuse, whether from them or from other people in our lives. So glad you got out, though! And I hope your healing has helped you find yourself and your voice again. You definitely deserve it! 🖤
To avoid manipulative love, trust your instincts, communicate openly, and set boundaries. Love should feel supportive, not controlling. I, You, We deserve healthy, genuine love!
glad you guys talked about this since i was a with manipulator long ago and for others to know: it's not worth it, especially trying to change them and definitely don't fall for the love bomb like i did.
I got out of an emotionally abusive relationship like, 4 weeks ago. The mark, it leaves, is HUGE. Im still on medication, and there was expected that I would recover within a month, but I will be needing another dosis of anti depressants and anxiety medication. He recently haunted me and tells everyone I was the bad one, I lost my phone with all evidence of his heartlessness. He torments me and he loves it. He doesnt want others to date me, he doesnt want me happy. Ive long tried to help him, and realise these behaviors, and it left me broken. I hope every person who had to go through this, is on the path of healing, i pray for all of you
This makes a lot of sense now. I recently fell out of a relationship that turned into a close friendship, and now I don’t even see the person anymore. It was my first relationship and I just thought that everything that was happening on the first few dates was normal, since he said during the whole relationship that “this is what a relationship is supposed to be like”. I didn’t know that what was happening was specifically called love bombing. Thank you Psychtogo 💚.
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail.com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
So you think that every action a woman takes should benefit the man or the relationship rather than benefiting her or making her feel good? So you don't think women are entitled to their own lives, personalities, and hobbies. The dsm V lists the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder. None of these things are part of the diagnostic criteria and I highly doubt you're educated on the matter. You're just a misogynist trying to bait insecure men and sell your snake oil.
Also, not allowing your partner to have privacy and secretly violating their trust by having someone hack them is a form of abuse. If you don't trust someone, directly say that and have a conversation like an adult. You literally are the thing you're pretending to help people get away from.
@@xMckingwill It's really, really not. I've been there, until I realized I didn't love him at all. I was pressured into doing what he wanted, and now I'm just embarrassed by how blindsided I was. Once you're in a relationship with these types of people, they portray themselves as the best partners ever (and since they love bombed you first, it seems like you can't really complain) and will always blame you. He tried to make me believe I would never find someone else due to how "special" I was... as if no one else could take it. I've met someone else now, we're not dating, but I feel like I might actually be falling in love for the first time. It's so different when you genuinely like someone for their personality, for their humor, for the way you two just click. Instead of feeling pressured or rushed into things, or wowed by love bombing. Things are slower, but natural, it doesn't feel like it's just one side giving it their all and THAT is kinda hot
My ex showed up with a promise ring she got herself 3 months in when she said she had a surprise for me. From there she talked a lot about marriage and then disrespected my boundary to not live with anyone until I’m married. By basically making me feel terrible for not letting her live with me because I had let my friend and my brother live with me.
i just realised i was in a manipulative relationship. started off with love bombing and telling me that i was “the one”, he got me a crochet rose BEFORE our first date, continued to buy me random things but that eventually stopped) and then throughout the relationship he’d gaslight, stonewall, blame shift, guilt trip, lock me in his room so i couldnt leave, speed in his car so i couldnt get out of the car…he never listened to my needs either, or he tried to only to just stop doing so after a few weeks. he also broke my trust at the very beginning of the relationship but i was convinced into staying. it sucks because he was my best friend and i loved him a lot but idt he ever loved me back because he was able to do such things. maybe he loved the idea that he was in love and was loved by me.
i have loved a manipulator before... he played "if i can't do this i won't go" type of thing which made me want to please him so i can relate to this somewhat..
One of the side signs is when your partner avoids discussing any troubles, conflicts or even concerns about relationships. Most likely, they will try convincing you that you get the situation wrong and everything is fine. Whenever you try to remind that cases in future, they will be blaming and shaming you for all possible things and never approve their own responsibility. It's not because they're monsters or kinda (i know how strongly it seems to be that way sometimes, but it's not). It's because their own traumas and personality' aspects they can't control. Nonetheless it doesn't mean that a person who finds themselves as a victim in such relationships shall tolerate that moves. Work on your personal boundaries, ask for professional support and help, keep focus on your feelings, emotions. It gets better for sure. Dark times will pass and all painful affections will turn into useful and valuable lessons 😇
0:01 Such a sudden surprise you referenced Emmanuel Kant. A philosopher from where I am from. It's so heartwarming to hear close motives of your home in a video of your favorite author. Not to mention that in a light of recent tragic events, these past 3 days, locals bring flowers to Immanuel Kant's gravestone as a symbol of love. To grief the passing of Navalny, as there are unfortunately, no proper monuments to victims of political repressions in our city. Thank you humbly, thank to you, I am once again inspired to come back to his works and read them, but much more attentive this time.❤ I am thinking of visiting his monument and bringing flowers as well.
Ok, ngl the love-bombing sign had me there because my online friend started to have a thing for me, and we always cuddled me, and we sent flattering words to each other. However, I did tell them that I didn't feel the same way yet and we are certainly going slow, but I'm kinda scared that they'll get tired of me not moving forward.
Theres so much ive learned within a year. Its been hurtful but a catalyst for my growth. I went through this over and over it different situations but it started in my unbringing with the adults i had to survive as a kid. It sucks to have to see the root of a pattern. Im glad with what I know now. Thanks for the video. 🖤🧿
It’s also important to note that manipulation might not always be malice in intent. People sometimes have unhealthy traumatic experiences that molded a behaviour that creates walls in conflict. Resulting in them filtering their behaviours and words through a small peep hole over a massive wall! Which doesn’t make it right, but these are the people with some love and support you can work out those problems! Now, if this person is a manipulator in intent! Then that’s scary because they will always camouflage their actions to keep you on the hook and use emotional/psychological manipulation to slowly direct your behaviours. A very common manipulation tatic is the “lesser evil” which when they do something wrong they will stonewal/gaslight you to provoke you to react in a greater way that they did, which absolves their guilt and shame, which is then directed on you.
I literally am just getting away from the manipulator. This has been the most upsetting, emotional roller coaster, and confusing thing I’ve ever been through. He love bombed me in the beginning and gave me lots of gifts and did literally everything a perfect boyfriend would do. Kind, thoughtful, would listen to me, was encouraging, was a protector, Was generous. Then he morphed into a total monster. Had to walk on eggshells. He would blow little things way out of proportion, was constantly lying and constantly accusing me. Made me feel like everything was my fault. Would break up with me/hurt me badly and then later on act like it never happened. And would lie to make other people feel bad if he was upset with them. That loving, attentive dude I thought i loved completely disappeared. If he gets mad: it’s threats and bullying into submission. It has been hell
When I broke up with my manipulative @busive toxic ex for a while after I CRAVED manipulation from someone I felt like I NEEDED someone to make me feel bad abt myself. This stuff can really manipulate and gaslight you until your brain is literally re wired and can make you think that’s what love is
A lot of this applies to a toxic friendship (that im now out of) and it's honestly reassuring to me. I've been doubting whether or not I made the right choice
Y’know, I shrugged this video off as nothing at first. I saw a few signs that applied to my past lover, but I felt like I was overthinking because I didn’t want to believe that’s who they were. Not to mention that videos on the internet, aren’t the best reason to start judging someone. And yet here I am realizing I should’ve listened sooner. Would’ve saved me so much pain
I wanted to thank you. Sometime, I feel guilty about the way I left an 15 years friendship. After 2 hard years getting back to myself, still wondering if I was completly right or not, I took a deep moment to check with more objectivity if this was really that bad with this video criterias. And damn, I was right. The thing is, I was always walking on eggshells. It was for a long time not my only friend but time passed and he was still here. Other stuff like the 3 victim triangle and more. Those dynamic were just a habit that I was always trying to fight in order to help him. At some point I was about to be as bad as him with people and I got crazy. So I gave up after 15 years. Accepting that I can't help him anymore and just ressurected. So well, it's good to have some feedback checkup that still make me remember that I was not crazy
Another one (maybe it overlaps with victim outlook): neverending crises. Every day is a new crisis, or a repeat of the same preventable crisis that she's created for herself. Because she's always in crisis, you can easily never get a word in, much less get reciprocation, effort, or support yourself.
Yup. And then she wonders why she's exhausted all the time? It's literally because she winds herself up and doesn't self-terminate those thought patterns. How to interrupt without being unkind or inattentive? Tough tightrope to walk, but-- I'm the onliest person she trusts for it, too. So. At least our fidelity isn't a question.
These videos just confuse me even more and make me wonder if I was manipulating too unconsciously, or if I’m just delusional and I can’t trust my recollection of events
It's always manipulation. That's how love works in the real world. You don't love somebody by choice, they manipulate you into loving them. You just think it's by choice when it isn't. The least manipulative people in the world are also the least loved.
He said, and i quote "i like the attention, not you." Then claims he loves me, while im being abused mentally behind everyone's back. Thats not love is it!
Timestamps 1). Love bombing 0:39 2). Gaslighting 1:55 3). Often plays the victim 3:02 4). Walking on eggshells 3:51 5). One-sided effort 4:54 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I don’t think I’ve ever been in a relationship with a manipulator. But… I did just have a falling out with my best friend. I don’t think he’s a bad person, and I do think that he genuinely is the victim a lot of the time, but the point of playing the victim-card was something that 100% existed in our friendship. He constantly played the victim to gain my sympathy, the sympathy of my friends, and the sympathy of all his friends too. I wish I had seen this video a year ago because this captured the many ways he manipulated me, and how I should’ve responded sooner. Towards the end of our friendship, I didn’t really know what to do, but I made it a point to remain kind. I knew he couldn’t handle the complete truth is how he emotionally hurt me, but I knew it was important for me to say how he at least lied to the next person who would become my next best friend. I’m not friends with either of them anymore now as a direct result of his lies and manipulation. I told him about how he lied to her. His reaction was to tell me how I blame everything on him, basically projecting all the things he does to me. It’s really a shame because I don’t think he’s really that bad of a person… although… that may still be a result of my loving him as my former best friend. While it does hurt to not have that person anymore who I could tell anything, I have been successfully self-improving. I have a new job. I am meeting new people. Most importantly, I am more consistently happy… which is something that was pretty rare when I was best friends with him.
never being in a relationship again after i've been in one and i showed signs bordering on manipulation. not as if i'm a manipulative person, i just never knew how to be in a healthy one, am terrified of being vulnerable, and have terrible communication skills. i end up pushing everyone from me, giving silent treatment because i have no idea how to process my feelings, blaming people for having normal emotions because i can't allow myself to have them so i don't think it's normal. it would be a lie of i said i didn't liked having someone that depended on me. it is no way an excuse, i've hurted someone because of it, regret it for years even when I've made peace with the person, and i'm not doing it again or being in a relationship before i can love like a sane humab being
I’m married to one. I dunno what happened it seemed like a switch happened in his whole personality and he turned from a caring and loving respectful person to a “nah don’t have any energy for that” person. It really feels i’m pulling all the weight in our married and family life. I told him my worries and frustrations and he tries to discredit all that i shared or has no answer at all. Like he’s not even listening, so i ended up just bottling it in and not bothering him at all. As there is always no time for me to share since he’s always on his phone or gaming. I dont even know if I continue or just draw the line.
Not love, but I used to be friends with a manipulator. Our contacts became less frequent when she realized that I was not moved by forced crying and turning the tables. Eventually, she stopped talking when I moved out and did not renew contact, despite the fact that she studied in a neighboring city. As for the manipulator... These are not always people who simply use others for their own gain. Manipulators are also people with disorders and struggling with trauma. In my relationship with this friend, I allowed many things because I knew that her life was not so rosy - her parents divorced when she was little, then her mother's new partner left her after having a child, then her mother's subsequent dates... Many will probably say "What's the problem? She deserves happiness too". Well, the problem occurs when the mother behaves like a teenager, chasing guys and running around parties, and her teenage child plays the role of a parent to their younger siblings. There were days when she went out for New Year's Eve party at a friend's, and she only took one child with her or went alone, the younger child was taken by the father, and the friend was left alone with her grandmother and the dog. Her father's new partner was also mean and put her child from her previous marriage on a pedestal and treated her like a foundling. I felt sorry for her, but when she started taking her frustrations out on me (mental and physical abuse), I had to draw the line. She's moved out of her mother's house now. I hope she's doing better.
In my past relationship he told me I think I love you on the first date after just a couple weeks of talking(love bombing) he also made me cry shortly after I told him that I hadnt yet felt the same (trauma bonding). By the end of the 9th month he wasnt even willing to cuddle with me or hardly talk to me. He made me feel like I was the reason he was so depressed or the reasons arguments began when it was really him not caring or listening. He didnt even celebrate my college graduation with me and kinda seemed sad when I told him I passed my final tests. I think he loved me in his own fucked up way, but its hard to tell
Been through a recent breakup, she pushed me to my absolute mental limits in order to show her affection,love and attention, even when i am absolutely exhausted from other things in life like work, family and such. she always pushed me to fight for our relationship and even confront my mother (my mother 'hated' her to say the least). my ex always has been pouring ideas onto me like:my mother never showed me affection like she did, my friends aren't really my friends and even got to the point that i met with them less and less because of her. until i talked with my friends and other people about this situation i did not see through the manipulation. all of the signs presented in the video were there but i did not see it.
This is the first included captioning in a Psych2Go video that I like. Good work! I hope it keeps getting better after months of being bad like auto generated captioning.
Phase 1: you're going to win a dance contest because you've got the perfect partner. Phase 2: you think you might lose the contest, because your "partner" is only focused on showing what a great dancer THEY are. Phase 3: you realize your "partner" isn't trying to prove how good they dance, but is trying to make YOU look bad. Phase 4: you keep dancing, following their lead, convinced the performance is redeemable...if only you'd....???
People in relationships will be rude and disrespectful to a single person and then when the single person stands up for their self, they say the single person is jealous and lonely. This is one thing manipulators do. It's usually when a toxic relationship sees a single person being happy or thriving. Another form of manipulation is people spreading lies on you in hopes that you hear the lie. They want you to feel bad because they are miserable.
he started acting like this when he was no longer interested in me. it sucks that he was a sweet guy but i guess it would be the best to separate rather than staying and hoping him to be that sweet person one day. it was so draining and i even made excuses for him for treating me like that and blamed myself for being way too sensitive and overthinking. i hope he would realize this and treat the next person better than he did to me.
i think at some parts of my life, i was being manipulating too, and i believe we both did that unconsciously. it was nice that he pointed that out for me but ended up being manipulating while i tried to change ❤️🩹
I was in a relationship, or what you could call a situationship, with a manipulative person. Things were going well after I accepted his proposal, but he suddenly stopped communicating with me. When I asked him if everything was okay, he said he was sick. Over time, he began to ignore my messages until finally, after two months of ghosting me, he responded to my old texts . I couldn't believe his nerve. How can some people not feel any guilt about their actions? When I asked him what he wanted, he said he noticed I seemed happy lately and he was there to bring some toxicity into my life. He also mentioned wanting a wild hookup. It took me a while to realize he was not the right person for me, and finally, I blocked him. Although it took me some time , i am proud i finally took this step
Because of this video , I won't talk to my crush no more cause I feel like I'm manipulating them and I don't want them to be scared. So I will ignore:(
This was a terrible experience to live with, I am just lucky that I was an introvert with high respects for myself, because this specific person gave me *too* much affection and attention, and wouldn’t back off. Then I left him and he was begging for me to stay, i did not. I just feel grateful I left at the stage that hurts the least.
3 years after I left my relationship is when I finally realised that wow i had been in one. I'm still really scared to go into a relationship now and I want to tell my friends but I think alot of time has passed. I feel so shit that I even fell for it... for 2 whole years. Now I want to look for a partner but I am also so scared that I would end up with someone like that again without realising for years. Sigh.
Love is not only passion. It also a committment, to support another person. Signs of a manipulator. 1) Love bombing. 2) Devaluation ( after he has gained control) 3) Gaslighting (twisting the truth). 4) Walking on egg- shells ( reacting in extreme ways to minor things)
Sometimes, I'm real worried about two friends of mine who are a couple. I can't really tell which of the two are more manipulative. And yeah, this is one of the real reasons why I'm afraid to find anyone: I'm worried that I would be the one to manipulate or this girl would manipulate poor, innocent me.
Well, manipulative person can also be your friends or even family members... All these signs apply to every relationship... Having such people in life is a horrible experience... These manipulators will go to extreme extents to achieve their goals... You can't actually identify them early as they will give a genuine vibe at first but later on when u get to know them better you will know who they actually are... Manipulativeness is a personality... It can be developed knowingly or by surrounding influence... They will never accept they are wrong...
I hate calling her a manipulator. She was so good to me for so long and then suddenly I couldn't say anything that didn't make her angry and she simply stopped trying. I want to get better but every time I think I'm ready something else happens, we broke up months ago and even when I try to cut off all contact to stop the pain she suddenly apologizes. She had me hook line and sinker and yet seems to feel the need to push me away in order to drag me back along.
Been into these situations a multiple no.of times Believe me !It takes a lot of time to come out of that toxic zone whether can be from boyfriend, girlfriend or family members
Well, how am I going to explain this? Right now I am in a big conflict with a girl I'm 'dating', all fo the things explained in this video are soooo true and relatable in my relationship with the girl im 'dating'. I am going to set my boundaries for myself! Thank you Universe to send me here!
Think it’s worth mentioning the lovebombing … in my experience it consists of low value generally unwanted and sometimes humiliating items being given often. It’s kinda clever coz it’s devaluing to receiving lots of things you don’t want and encourages you to placate… you could always say no thanks. Occasionally but more often than usual you will experience high value things… but don’t get too excited - it’s always what they want to do and will involve a level of guilt … for no cost to you 😏
Now my next question is how do you fix yourself after this? How do you go about your day to day life without now viewing everyone as a user and manipulator. How do you try and reduce the personality changes that may happen on yourself due to the negative experience
Or you really fell in love with someone and they think you are manipulating them because they have gone through a lot of heart ache and you become afraid of hurting them because you don’t want to hurt them but they say you are....so you will always love them even if they change...
It’s sad. You cannot change Narcicissts or manipulative people. You are responsible for yourself and not for someone else. It’s always on an eye-to-eye-level. Watch out for that. You not only deserve to be happy but have a human right patent on it ❤ If you notice these signs, try to get help. Love yourself.
Now can someone tell me why this video only has 57 views?
Because it's not released
Cause people rather be in denail
This is one of the video that isn't validifing their inherit thoughts and opinions but instead make people ACTUALLY REFLECT ON THEIR LIFE CHOICES
@@bluefood6146 no its just not out yet
Why is your comment posted 6 months ago the video just came out
@krystal_the_theriantrue
The single worst aspect of being in love with a manipulator is the fact that it felt like the truest relationship I've ever had. I've spent a good 4 years deprograming and debriefing from it, and I still can't really discern how much of it was real.
This. I hate that feeling of not knowing if everything is ok or if it's wrong or if their intentions are really what they say when you find out it's totally the opposite.
I feel you.. sometimes I still wonder.. 16 years of manipulation.. I need to stick to the facts of what happened and not to my feelings. I gaslight myself about the past..
@@JJ.gandalfthegrey Entirely too relatable.
Yes because for a while now I haven't noticed that my FIRST freind was a manipulative person who used many of these tactics and more
0:40 Love bombing
1:56 Gaslighting
3:05 Often plays the victim
3:54 Walking on eggshells
5:00 one sided effort
6:06 WHAT TO DO ?
No mirroring?
That’s what got me.
Sounds like a narcissistic disorder portrait
@@BetaBuxDelux I would add: They try to transfer their responsabilities to others, everything is other people's fault and twists reality making you feel always doubting about yourself
One of the worst things I’ve ever been through. Be careful people because they can steal your confidence and make you feel wrong for no reason at all lol
Why did you put the lol at the end?
@@ladennayoung2939 Idk I tend to use “lol” often for some reason. Also can’t really do much but look back and learn from the experience and laugh at the pain of what I had to go through to learn some lessons.
@@ladennayoung2939 Idk it’s just a habit I have when I type out a comment or text. Also I can only look back at my experience and laugh off some of the pain I had to go through to learn the lessons I did to help me grow. Hope all is well with you and the manipulators stay far away from us as possible!
With clarity I understood how my feelings where right, my lashing out in small ways was not abusive, I never lay a wrong hand, raised my voice or made her feel unsafe, I learnt with time that nothing I had ever said was completley private always sharing always asking for sympathy about my actions. Burning bridges and relationships around you, but you wouldn’t dare listen you will defend them untill the day they finally cannot keep up the facade
same here
Spent 11 years with a manipulator. As someone that has struggled to see my own value outside of what I can provide for people, it took a very long time for me to realize what was happening. It's never too late.
Toxic people won’t change, because in their mind it’s your fault, not theirs.
Yes they are very selfish and can't look passed their own glasses but they will criticize their target that they should think passed themselves
They reverse psychology
I'm sorry you feel that way, because I'd consider myself an ex-manipulator and It took me a couple of tries and discovering what traumas made me behave this way but I feel that I've made progress, I still love bomb when I enter some relationship especially when I don't manage my emotions for the partner or when I'm trying to avoid other stuff happening in my life but I don't think I've ever gotten past that stage with anyone after starting to work on myself even in multiple years relationships. I usually tell them about my past and my flaws pretty early on so that at the same time they are aware of the risks and can catch on pretty quickly if I ever slip back into old habits and let me correct my behavior.
@@ridhabenammar715 Good on you! 😃 Perhaps some people change, but the vast majority don’t. You’re one of those good few people 😊
@@LetGaiaLiveI’m not perfect that’s for sure, but this one girl in my friend group has been with me, another guy in the group and now another dude who has correlation with the group … As a friend she’s fine and I’ve set my boundaries as just friends and nothing more, and tbh I don’t think I actually liked them when we had that complicated relationship. It’s an online group sure but me and her did meet up before. Let’s just say she definitely can be an emotional manipulator, she will bring up things she’s told you countless times that doesn’t bother them, then later try to bring it up when she feels she might be in the wrong. And the over affection and “interest” in you is so true as well, she will do that then later on pull back and even ghost you, then wait awhile leaving you wondering what happened then expect you to say something first to end it, but after me, a friend I talked to and we know how she was involved with me after him, he got back with her… but only for like 2 weeks then he told me I was right about her, he thought she changed but nahhh, she appears changed in person but funny enough her true colors are online. My friend let’s call him star, pointed out all the red flags about her, what she did and some of her manipulative tactics. But as predicted she doesn’t care for conflict and didn’t take in what he said really and just focused on the part of him saying she wasn’t a 10/10 in the looks department, now a 10/10 can have different meanings but he wasn’t calling her ugly he was just saying why do looks have to matter so much? I summed up most of what I could since there is a lot more crap, again I’m not perfect and I’ve admitted but wrongs, so did star with his side of things, but she can’t ever be wrong in a relationship. Now it’s not my issue anymore thankfully, and Star cut ties with her, I did warn him getting back with her could make or break things and it broke em. I keep her at a distance. No one is perfect and she’s not a bad person I’d say, just not emotional mature for a relationship in my opinion, I’m not either that’s why I’m taking a break form trying relationships. But she needs constant attention so she keeps trying with dudes.. and uh she has a flirtatious personality so a lot of guys like her and she knows this, the new guy she’s with in the group, she flirted a bit with him before star and her got together again.. best part is she now feels like being open and actually saying the word boyfriend but never with me or star. It’s a really weird situation ik, but I’m just hoping either this works out and she learned from the past or this fails and actually is a wake up call that you don’t need a girl friend or boyfriend to be happy at first.
I was in a relationship with one. It took me just shy of three years to see through him and finish it. I went from loving him to not even liking him as a person.
The main issues were gaslighting, victim mentality, inability to take any responsibility, blame shifting, avoidance, taking my words and using them as his own, minimising, future promising, outright lying and so on.
I’m so glad I didn’t waste any more time on him.
Yoo i had kinda same bf..he first broke up saying i deserve better then after just 3-5 days he came back saying he wants 2nd chance and after 4-5 i finally agreed but then i understood that he actually is manipulating me into falling inlove with him so in the end
i broke up with :))
@@kpop7585 you’re probably far better off without that childish behaviour and before you really sis get sucked in. Onto better things now hopefully 🤞🏼
Very similar to dating someone with Aspergers, there are apologies but no behaviour change. The intent is very different but the fallout is identical.
Been there, I was isolated until the point I don't have anyone to talk to about this relationship because he suddenly made me unsafe to trust my friends and he kept trying to broke me apart from my family, resenting my brother and parents and made me into thinking that he is the only place I had in this dangerous world, and made me dependent, then he hated me being dependent.
It was so confusing.
I’m sorry you went through that. I do have my family so I’m grateful for that. But I can relate to not being able to trust friends after the relationship ended. It’s frustrating knowing that people you thought you could confide in you no longer can out of protection for yourself.
@seanfrance3182
Thank God right now I'm in a secure relationship.
First sign to know if you're in an emotionally abusive relationship: you're looking for signs to know if you are.
Yup, that was the beginning of the end. Although I didn’t know it at the time.
Remember this can be friendships as well. It took me nearly two years of living with my ex friend to truly see who she was. The constant victim mentality and blame shifting was the worst. She made me feel like a terrible person for speaking up about not feeling respected or appreciated. If I called her out on things, she would say "sorry" or "I understand" but there would not be any changed behavior. And if she was in a "bad" mood she would hide behind the word "empath" and shut down any conversation with tears and guilt tripping. She then would turn around and say I was not communicating with her, and text my fiancé behind my back. I know now that her particular "boundaries" were emotional manipulation.
Never again will I make myself so destructively small to cater to a fragile ego pretending to be a good person.
Another form of manipulation is when youre in an argument with someone and they reply with an entirely different topic.
Deflecting. Bring them back to your topic. If they refuse, recognize who you're dealing with.
Ever seen a "journalist" who does an "interview" like that?
I don't wanna BE a manipulator, and I don't wanna be WITH one. The upsides of long-term singleness!
Always good to study what you want to attain
Just got out of an abusive relationship, I kept doubting myself that I did the right thing. Because even after I addressed it to him that he was manipulating me he just denied it. He tried gaslighting me that he was not, that I don't know what manipulation is, that I am at fault and that I'm breaking everything off at my own choice . I lost a friend of mine because she believed him over me.
This video really helped me see that I did make the right decision and that I'm not paranoid about anything.
So thank you for making this content
I just broke up with my partner too as he was very manipulative and I told him. The difference with me is that I didn’t wait to hear what he had to say about me saying he’s a manipulator, I just said my goodbye and ignored him.
I hope things got better for you.
@@seanfrance3182 It did, I'm in a better space rn and found such good friends also getting over some problems rn that the relationship gave me but it's way better now
My ex was a grandmaster level manipulator. Months after the breakup, and I'm STILL uncovering manipulative tactics he used. He was a narcissist, and one the likes of which I've never seen. So glad to have gotten away from him.
Lol, The way you described it, You are also Grandmaster.😂
@@tharkiwyvern6952 You are the problem here. Just leave.
Mine was too. It was INSANE. I'm still unraveling the layers and layers of manipulation, gaslighting, and cruelty he put me through. The eggshells I walked on 24/7, always fearing the next tiny thing that would set him off. It was hard for me to even voice an opinion for years after breaking up with him.
@@erinbeepbeep5238 it's the worst! The impact they have on us lasts for ages, even once we leave. It affects who we are as individuals, who we are in our interpersonal relationships, and it affects who and how we are with subsequent partners. It's sad how long we jump at shadows, even long after they're gone, because we're just waiting for the next string of attacks and abuse, whether from them or from other people in our lives.
So glad you got out, though! And I hope your healing has helped you find yourself and your voice again. You definitely deserve it! 🖤
Like what? What he did?
I'd rather have a pet and be satisfied than fall in love with a manipulator.
and be the pet.
People in 2024 still don't know Pets also use Maipulation tactics 😂.
@@tharkiwyvern6952 lol yes but that doesn't hurt
To avoid manipulative love, trust your instincts, communicate openly, and set boundaries. Love should feel supportive, not controlling. I, You, We deserve healthy, genuine love!
glad you guys talked about this since i was a with manipulator long ago and for others to know: it's not worth it, especially trying to change them and definitely don't fall for the love bomb like i did.
I got out of an emotionally abusive relationship like, 4 weeks ago. The mark, it leaves, is HUGE. Im still on medication, and there was expected that I would recover within a month, but I will be needing another dosis of anti depressants and anxiety medication. He recently haunted me and tells everyone I was the bad one, I lost my phone with all evidence of his heartlessness. He torments me and he loves it. He doesnt want others to date me, he doesnt want me happy. Ive long tried to help him, and realise these behaviors, and it left me broken. I hope every person who had to go through this, is on the path of healing, i pray for all of you
When it comes to walking on eggshells - "you can't say the wrong thing to the right person".
Within reason tho like u can’t just go and abuse someone else
I'd never thought about it this way, but it really helps. Thank you!
This makes a lot of sense now. I recently fell out of a relationship that turned into a close friendship, and now I don’t even see the person anymore. It was my first relationship and I just thought that everything that was happening on the first few dates was normal, since he said during the whole relationship that “this is what a relationship is supposed to be like”. I didn’t know that what was happening was specifically called love bombing. Thank you Psychtogo 💚.
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail.com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
So you think that every action a woman takes should benefit the man or the relationship rather than benefiting her or making her feel good? So you don't think women are entitled to their own lives, personalities, and hobbies. The dsm V lists the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder. None of these things are part of the diagnostic criteria and I highly doubt you're educated on the matter. You're just a misogynist trying to bait insecure men and sell your snake oil.
Also, not allowing your partner to have privacy and secretly violating their trust by having someone hack them is a form of abuse. If you don't trust someone, directly say that and have a conversation like an adult. You literally are the thing you're pretending to help people get away from.
been there and I realized I got manipulated by him after one year so I dropped him. I sadly still see him in my life and catch him looking at me
Number one sign: You are manipulated into loving them.
My bad side of my brain is telling me that thats kinda hot 😅😅
@@xMckingwill oh hell nah
@@xMckingwill It's really, really not. I've been there, until I realized I didn't love him at all. I was pressured into doing what he wanted, and now I'm just embarrassed by how blindsided I was. Once you're in a relationship with these types of people, they portray themselves as the best partners ever (and since they love bombed you first, it seems like you can't really complain) and will always blame you. He tried to make me believe I would never find someone else due to how "special" I was... as if no one else could take it. I've met someone else now, we're not dating, but I feel like I might actually be falling in love for the first time. It's so different when you genuinely like someone for their personality, for their humor, for the way you two just click. Instead of feeling pressured or rushed into things, or wowed by love bombing. Things are slower, but natural, it doesn't feel like it's just one side giving it their all and THAT is kinda hot
That's exactly what happened with me and my ex.
My ex showed up with a promise ring she got herself 3 months in when she said she had a surprise for me. From there she talked a lot about marriage and then disrespected my boundary to not live with anyone until I’m married. By basically making me feel terrible for not letting her live with me because I had let my friend and my brother live with me.
i just realised i was in a manipulative relationship. started off with love bombing and telling me that i was “the one”, he got me a crochet rose BEFORE our first date, continued to buy me random things but that eventually stopped) and then throughout the relationship he’d gaslight, stonewall, blame shift, guilt trip, lock me in his room so i couldnt leave, speed in his car so i couldnt get out of the car…he never listened to my needs either, or he tried to only to just stop doing so after a few weeks. he also broke my trust at the very beginning of the relationship but i was convinced into staying. it sucks because he was my best friend and i loved him a lot but idt he ever loved me back because he was able to do such things. maybe he loved the idea that he was in love and was loved by me.
i have loved a manipulator before... he played "if i can't do this i won't go" type of thing which made me want to please him so i can relate to this somewhat..
One of the side signs is when your partner avoids discussing any troubles, conflicts or even concerns about relationships. Most likely, they will try convincing you that you get the situation wrong and everything is fine. Whenever you try to remind that cases in future, they will be blaming and shaming you for all possible things and never approve their own responsibility. It's not because they're monsters or kinda (i know how strongly it seems to be that way sometimes, but it's not). It's because their own traumas and personality' aspects they can't control. Nonetheless it doesn't mean that a person who finds themselves as a victim in such relationships shall tolerate that moves. Work on your personal boundaries, ask for professional support and help, keep focus on your feelings, emotions. It gets better for sure. Dark times will pass and all painful affections will turn into useful and valuable lessons 😇
I agree that It is very confusing, I hope anyone who went through manipulation recovers quickly… it sucks. 💜
0:01 Such a sudden surprise you referenced Emmanuel Kant. A philosopher from where I am from. It's so heartwarming to hear close motives of your home in a video of your favorite author. Not to mention that in a light of recent tragic events, these past 3 days, locals bring flowers to Immanuel Kant's gravestone as a symbol of love. To grief the passing of Navalny, as there are unfortunately, no proper monuments to victims of political repressions in our city. Thank you humbly, thank to you, I am once again inspired to come back to his works and read them, but much more attentive this time.❤
I am thinking of visiting his monument and bringing flowers as well.
Ok, ngl the love-bombing sign had me there because my online friend started to have a thing for me, and we always cuddled me, and we sent flattering words to each other.
However, I did tell them that I didn't feel the same way yet and we are certainly going slow, but I'm kinda scared that they'll get tired of me not moving forward.
Theres so much ive learned within a year. Its been hurtful but a catalyst for my growth. I went through this over and over it different situations but it started in my unbringing with the adults i had to survive as a kid. It sucks to have to see the root of a pattern. Im glad with what I know now. Thanks for the video. 🖤🧿
It’s also important to note that manipulation might not always be malice in intent. People sometimes have unhealthy traumatic experiences that molded a behaviour that creates walls in conflict. Resulting in them filtering their behaviours and words through a small peep hole over a massive wall! Which doesn’t make it right, but these are the people with some love and support you can work out those problems!
Now, if this person is a manipulator in intent! Then that’s scary because they will always camouflage their actions to keep you on the hook and use emotional/psychological manipulation to slowly direct your behaviours.
A very common manipulation tatic is the “lesser evil” which when they do something wrong they will stonewal/gaslight you to provoke you to react in a greater way that they did, which absolves their guilt and shame, which is then directed on you.
That last paragraph sounds familiar.
I just got out of my relationship...
Turns out I was with a narcissist and a manipulative person..
This video is just perfect...
Thank you....
💔💔💔
I'm at the same situation right now. Wish you the best ❤
@@Fanu0 i wish you good luck as well...💜🤍
I literally am just getting away from the manipulator. This has been the most upsetting, emotional roller coaster, and confusing thing I’ve ever been through. He love bombed me in the beginning and gave me lots of gifts and did literally everything a perfect boyfriend would do. Kind, thoughtful, would listen to me, was encouraging, was a protector,
Was generous. Then he morphed into a total monster. Had to walk on eggshells. He would blow little things way out of proportion, was constantly lying and constantly accusing me. Made me feel like everything was my fault. Would break up with me/hurt me badly and then later on act like it never happened. And would lie to make other people feel bad if he was upset with them. That loving, attentive dude I thought i loved completely disappeared. If he gets mad: it’s threats and bullying into submission. It has been hell
When I broke up with my manipulative @busive toxic ex for a while after I CRAVED manipulation from someone I felt like I NEEDED someone to make me feel bad abt myself. This stuff can really manipulate and gaslight you until your brain is literally re wired and can make you think that’s what love is
A lot of this applies to a toxic friendship (that im now out of) and it's honestly reassuring to me. I've been doubting whether or not I made the right choice
Y’know, I shrugged this video off as nothing at first. I saw a few signs that applied to my past lover, but I felt like I was overthinking because I didn’t want to believe that’s who they were. Not to mention that videos on the internet, aren’t the best reason to start judging someone. And yet here I am realizing I should’ve listened sooner. Would’ve saved me so much pain
Well, now i know why theses happens , i should have noticed that before -
Breaking up time
How did it go?
I wanted to thank you.
Sometime, I feel guilty about the way I left an 15 years friendship. After 2 hard years getting back to myself, still wondering if I was completly right or not, I took a deep moment to check with more objectivity if this was really that bad with this video criterias. And damn, I was right.
The thing is, I was always walking on eggshells. It was for a long time not my only friend but time passed and he was still here. Other stuff like the 3 victim triangle and more. Those dynamic were just a habit that I was always trying to fight in order to help him. At some point I was about to be as bad as him with people and I got crazy. So I gave up after 15 years. Accepting that I can't help him anymore and just ressurected.
So well, it's good to have some feedback checkup that still make me remember that I was not crazy
Another one (maybe it overlaps with victim outlook): neverending crises. Every day is a new crisis, or a repeat of the same preventable crisis that she's created for herself. Because she's always in crisis, you can easily never get a word in, much less get reciprocation, effort, or support yourself.
Yup.
And then she wonders why she's exhausted all the time?
It's literally because she winds herself up and doesn't self-terminate those thought patterns.
How to interrupt without being unkind or inattentive? Tough tightrope to walk, but-- I'm the onliest person she trusts for it, too.
So. At least our fidelity isn't a question.
These videos just confuse me even more and make me wonder if I was manipulating too unconsciously, or if I’m just delusional and I can’t trust my recollection of events
It's always manipulation. That's how love works in the real world. You don't love somebody by choice, they manipulate you into loving them. You just think it's by choice when it isn't. The least manipulative people in the world are also the least loved.
He said, and i quote "i like the attention, not you."
Then claims he loves me, while im being abused mentally behind everyone's back.
Thats not love is it!
Yes they mix vile remarks with arrogant niceness
Time Stamps 🧸💗
1. 0:40 - Love Bombing
2. 1:55 - Gaslighting
3. 3:03 - Often Plays Victim
4. 3:52 - Walking On Eggshells
5. 4:54 - One-Sided Effort
Timestamps
1). Love bombing 0:39
2). Gaslighting 1:55
3). Often plays the victim 3:02
4). Walking on eggshells 3:51
5). One-sided effort 4:54
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I don’t think I’ve ever been in a relationship with a manipulator. But… I did just have a falling out with my best friend. I don’t think he’s a bad person, and I do think that he genuinely is the victim a lot of the time, but the point of playing the victim-card was something that 100% existed in our friendship. He constantly played the victim to gain my sympathy, the sympathy of my friends, and the sympathy of all his friends too. I wish I had seen this video a year ago because this captured the many ways he manipulated me, and how I should’ve responded sooner. Towards the end of our friendship, I didn’t really know what to do, but I made it a point to remain kind. I knew he couldn’t handle the complete truth is how he emotionally hurt me, but I knew it was important for me to say how he at least lied to the next person who would become my next best friend. I’m not friends with either of them anymore now as a direct result of his lies and manipulation. I told him about how he lied to her. His reaction was to tell me how I blame everything on him, basically projecting all the things he does to me. It’s really a shame because I don’t think he’s really that bad of a person… although… that may still be a result of my loving him as my former best friend. While it does hurt to not have that person anymore who I could tell anything, I have been successfully self-improving. I have a new job. I am meeting new people. Most importantly, I am more consistently happy… which is something that was pretty rare when I was best friends with him.
These are a very important for empaths 🍃🍃
This made me realise, how many of these points fit so well to my partner.
Me too 😢
never being in a relationship again after i've been in one and i showed signs bordering on manipulation. not as if i'm a manipulative person, i just never knew how to be in a healthy one, am terrified of being vulnerable, and have terrible communication skills. i end up pushing everyone from me, giving silent treatment because i have no idea how to process my feelings, blaming people for having normal emotions because i can't allow myself to have them so i don't think it's normal. it would be a lie of i said i didn't liked having someone that depended on me. it is no way an excuse, i've hurted someone because of it, regret it for years even when I've made peace with the person, and i'm not doing it again or being in a relationship before i can love like a sane humab being
Pun pun points for your profile picture 👍
@@mangastache lmao i didn't remembered commenting this now I'm embarassed. but ty for the points
@@dalilsty never feel embarrassed about opening up ✌️
I'ts crucial to be aware of these signs in any relationship, great video!
Looking back, my crush never tried to get me to do things for them or whatever, but all the signs in this video were there.
I’m married to one. I dunno what happened it seemed like a switch happened in his whole personality and he turned from a caring and loving respectful person to a “nah don’t have any energy for that” person.
It really feels i’m pulling all the weight in our married and family life. I told him my worries and frustrations and he tries to discredit all that i shared or has no answer at all. Like he’s not even listening, so i ended up just bottling it in and not bothering him at all. As there is always no time for me to share since he’s always on his phone or gaming.
I dont even know if I continue or just draw the line.
Tough to say.
Did any major life event happen? Loss of a job, friend, or parent?
Could be that grief counseling might help.
The illustrations are really good. The victim’s eyes say it all - exactly how I felt
My first and only relationship ended within a month. This sums it up pretty well!
Not love, but I used to be friends with a manipulator. Our contacts became less frequent when she realized that I was not moved by forced crying and turning the tables. Eventually, she stopped talking when I moved out and did not renew contact, despite the fact that she studied in a neighboring city. As for the manipulator... These are not always people who simply use others for their own gain. Manipulators are also people with disorders and struggling with trauma. In my relationship with this friend, I allowed many things because I knew that her life was not so rosy - her parents divorced when she was little, then her mother's new partner left her after having a child, then her mother's subsequent dates... Many will probably say "What's the problem? She deserves happiness too". Well, the problem occurs when the mother behaves like a teenager, chasing guys and running around parties, and her teenage child plays the role of a parent to their younger siblings. There were days when she went out for New Year's Eve party at a friend's, and she only took one child with her or went alone, the younger child was taken by the father, and the friend was left alone with her grandmother and the dog. Her father's new partner was also mean and put her child from her previous marriage on a pedestal and treated her like a foundling. I felt sorry for her, but when she started taking her frustrations out on me (mental and physical abuse), I had to draw the line. She's moved out of her mother's house now. I hope she's doing better.
In my past relationship he told me I think I love you on the first date after just a couple weeks of talking(love bombing) he also made me cry shortly after I told him that I hadnt yet felt the same (trauma bonding). By the end of the 9th month he wasnt even willing to cuddle with me or hardly talk to me. He made me feel like I was the reason he was so depressed or the reasons arguments began when it was really him not caring or listening. He didnt even celebrate my college graduation with me and kinda seemed sad when I told him I passed my final tests. I think he loved me in his own fucked up way, but its hard to tell
This video helped me see and actually understand it as a young male
Thank you so much💜
Been through a recent breakup, she pushed me to my absolute mental limits in order to show her affection,love and attention, even when i am absolutely exhausted from other things in life like work, family and such.
she always pushed me to fight for our relationship and even confront my mother (my mother 'hated' her to say the least). my ex always has been pouring ideas onto me like:my mother never showed me affection like she did, my friends aren't really my friends and even got to the point that i met with them less and less because of her.
until i talked with my friends and other people about this situation i did not see through the manipulation.
all of the signs presented in the video were there but i did not see it.
This is the first included captioning in a Psych2Go video that I like. Good work! I hope it keeps getting better after months of being bad like auto generated captioning.
Phase 1: you're going to win a dance contest because you've got the perfect partner.
Phase 2: you think you might lose the contest, because your "partner" is only focused on showing what a great dancer THEY are.
Phase 3: you realize your "partner" isn't trying to prove how good they dance, but is trying to make YOU look bad.
Phase 4: you keep dancing, following their lead, convinced the performance is redeemable...if only you'd....???
People in relationships will be rude and disrespectful to a single person and then when the single person stands up for their self, they say the single person is jealous and lonely. This is one thing manipulators do. It's usually when a toxic relationship sees a single person being happy or thriving.
Another form of manipulation is people spreading lies on you in hopes that you hear the lie. They want you to feel bad because they are miserable.
he started acting like this when he was no longer interested in me. it sucks that he was a sweet guy but i guess it would be the best to separate rather than staying and hoping him to be that sweet person one day. it was so draining and i even made excuses for him for treating me like that and blamed myself for being way too sensitive and overthinking. i hope he would realize this and treat the next person better than he did to me.
i think at some parts of my life, i was being manipulating too, and i believe we both did that unconsciously. it was nice that he pointed that out for me but ended up being manipulating while i tried to change ❤️🩹
Thanks for so helpful and valuable video as always ❤❤❤
I like how the manipulative partner has a Venus Flytrap on their head as threatening but seems fine
Yes, I'm in love with johan libert
23 secs ago, damn
I was in a relationship, or what you could call a situationship, with a manipulative person. Things were going well after I accepted his proposal, but he suddenly stopped communicating with me. When I asked him if everything was okay, he said he was sick. Over time, he began to ignore my messages
until finally, after two months of ghosting me, he responded to my old texts . I couldn't believe his nerve. How can some people not feel any guilt about their actions? When I asked him what he wanted, he said he noticed I seemed happy lately and he was there to bring some toxicity into my life. He also mentioned wanting a wild hookup. It took me a while to realize he was not the right person for me, and finally, I blocked him.
Although it took me some time , i am proud i finally took this step
I didn't know I was dating a manipulator until I saw this video. Thank you!
Because of this video , I won't talk to my crush no more cause I feel like I'm manipulating them and I don't want them to be scared. So I will ignore:(
Thanks for spreading knowledge
This was a terrible experience to live with, I am just lucky that I was an introvert with high respects for myself, because this specific person gave me *too* much affection and attention, and wouldn’t back off. Then I left him and he was begging for me to stay, i did not. I just feel grateful I left at the stage that hurts the least.
3 years after I left my relationship is when I finally realised that wow i had been in one. I'm still really scared to go into a relationship now and I want to tell my friends but I think alot of time has passed. I feel so shit that I even fell for it... for 2 whole years. Now I want to look for a partner but I am also so scared that I would end up with someone like that again without realising for years. Sigh.
Love is not only passion. It also a committment, to support another person.
Signs of a manipulator.
1) Love bombing.
2) Devaluation ( after he has gained control)
3) Gaslighting (twisting the truth).
4) Walking on egg- shells ( reacting in extreme ways to minor things)
I was manipulated into proposing… constant guilt trip, gaslighting, and love bombing
Wow... this is *EXACTLY* what my Mom does in all of her relationships... She even acts like this with her own kids...
*takes notes
GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY I CAN RELATE TO THIS TOPIC BECAUSE MY TOXIC PARENT DO IT TO ME ON A DAYLY BASIS HAVE A BLESSED DAY TEE 🙏💪💙
Thanks these videos should be shown in high school. (Before teens start dating).
Sometimes, I'm real worried about two friends of mine who are a couple. I can't really tell which of the two are more manipulative.
And yeah, this is one of the real reasons why I'm afraid to find anyone: I'm worried that I would be the one to manipulate or this girl would manipulate poor, innocent me.
"You make me treat you like this. I'm not this mean to anyone else in my life."- my first boyfriend
Love bombing is an example of rushing into a relationship also. That's why I never believed in love at first sight.
Well, manipulative person can also be your friends or even family members... All these signs apply to every relationship... Having such people in life is a horrible experience... These manipulators will go to extreme extents to achieve their goals... You can't actually identify them early as they will give a genuine vibe at first but later on when u get to know them better you will know who they actually are... Manipulativeness is a personality... It can be developed knowingly or by surrounding influence... They will never accept they are wrong...
I hate calling her a manipulator. She was so good to me for so long and then suddenly I couldn't say anything that didn't make her angry and she simply stopped trying. I want to get better but every time I think I'm ready something else happens, we broke up months ago and even when I try to cut off all contact to stop the pain she suddenly apologizes. She had me hook line and sinker and yet seems to feel the need to push me away in order to drag me back along.
Sometimes people really _do_ change (or seem to change) based on perceived needs and priorities.
my best friend dated a manipulator instead of me and it drove me crazy
Really needed this video at this time.
FYI: This is the trauma video we're talking about: th-cam.com/video/4EqbuAlrilQ/w-d-xo.html
I want to thank god that i am finally get rid of the manipulation relationship it was a horrible experience lasted for 4 years
i almost finished shahida arabis book! i can’t put it down
Been into these situations a multiple no.of times
Believe me !It takes a lot of time to come out of that toxic zone whether can be from boyfriend, girlfriend or family members
People who care about you care about how they make you feel
The worse part is when they actually recognize having a problem themselves and still choose to do it
Ngl I watched this to make sure I wasn't doing anything bad-
Lol I watched this to reassure that my man is not a manipulater
Well, how am I going to explain this?
Right now I am in a big conflict with a girl I'm 'dating', all fo the things explained in this video are soooo true and relatable in my relationship with the girl im 'dating'. I am going to set my boundaries for myself! Thank you Universe to send me here!
Not in a realtionship but my mom do all those things to me....
Think it’s worth mentioning the lovebombing … in my experience it consists of low value generally unwanted and sometimes humiliating items being given often. It’s kinda clever coz it’s devaluing to receiving lots of things you don’t want and encourages you to placate… you could always say no thanks. Occasionally but more often than usual you will experience high value things… but don’t get too excited - it’s always what they want to do and will involve a level of guilt … for no cost to you 😏
Ugh...been there before. If you are the love of their life after a couple of months...run...just run
Now my next question is how do you fix yourself after this? How do you go about your day to day life without now viewing everyone as a user and manipulator. How do you try and reduce the personality changes that may happen on yourself due to the negative experience
Thank you for sharing 👍🏻
He did all of this within 1 month. It really broke me. 💔
Thank you so much for this video... I can positevely say that it is going to change my life. Thank you for showing me the truth
Or you really fell in love with someone and they think you are manipulating them because they have gone through a lot of heart ache and you become afraid of hurting them because you don’t want to hurt them but they say you are....so you will always love them even if they change...
It’s sad. You cannot change Narcicissts or manipulative people. You are responsible for yourself and not for someone else. It’s always on an eye-to-eye-level. Watch out for that. You not only deserve to be happy but have a human right patent on it ❤
If you notice these signs, try to get help. Love yourself.