Hi Delilah! It’s so beautiful seeing the evolution of your mothering and how you’ve adapted and made changes best suited you, your babies and family. I’m a Postpartum Doula and would love to add a few things. 1. The way you decide to parent doesn’t matter as long as you’re comfortable with your choices and they are an informed decision based on up to date evidence. 2. Every single baby is different just like every single adult. Some will happy co sleep, some will want their own space, some will breastfeed until they’re 2.5yo and some will feed until they’re 1yo. 3. Your baby will take the sleep they need. If they take a shorter than usual nap, that’s okay. You do not NEED to go into the dark room and rock, feed and shush for another 30 minutes. If they’re happy then move on, don’t stress yourself out. 4. It’s normal for babies to wake in the night! They wake to ensure they’re still safe and that all around them is as it was previously. Sometimes they might need some assistance to get to sleep and however you decide to do that, that’s okay! Feed back to sleep, change of sleep space, rocking or patting. 5. Nap is not for mama to go and clean, cook and tick things off her list! (This is easier said than done). But a reminder that you need time to refuel with a nourishing meal, you need time to recharge by sitting and relaxing, you need time for you by doing something that boosts your oxytocin like watching a comedy show or sitting in the sun with a tea. The best way to be the best parent is ensuring you take time for you. There is nothing wrong with ticking things off your list while your babies are awake! A happy, fed and clean baby is the ultimate goal. Sleep will fall into place as they grow and one day you’ll miss those night time cuddles. 🤍
I am pregnant with baby #2 and I could cry reading this. I was so hard on myself with my son and sleep - I wish I had read this 18 months ago. Thank you for the beautiful advice and reassurance that your comment provides! ❤
My little girl is 8 months and I am only now practicing #5. It was a life changer. The realization that my baby enjoys playing while I get a chore or two done helped me relax and take time for me. Especially as an exclusively pumping mom - you are often fitting in pumping during naps just so you're available when they wake. So learning to supervise and get things done was so helpful.
For parents researching sleep, I recommend studying and reading books about biological sleep. There are reasons why babies need to wake, rocked to sleep, nursed to sleep, etc. Use your intuition and instinct because mother knows best ❤ eventually they all sleep through the night.
We tried sleep training my son. We were in the depths of severe sleep deprivation getting max 3 hrs sleep per night. But it simply didn't work. He would cry until he would vomit and hyperventilate even though we never left him alone for longer than 10 minutes. After a few attempts at this we decided it wasn't for us. Everything we were being told is that he would never sleep independently if he had a dummy, was fed to sleep, rocked to sleep, co slept on occasion etc. Surprise surprise as he got older he started to sleep. We followed his lead and slowly but surely he was able to fall asleep independently and sleep through the night (by 15 months). I wish I never bought into the narrative of "you have to do XYZ or they will never sleep" because it simple isn't true.
My son is the same way, vomiting and all, but we’re going on 21 months and he still wakes up multiple times a night and won’t fall asleep unless we’re rocking him. At this point I’m just telling myself that he’ll get there at some point, and we’re considering putting a floor mattress in his room now so I can sleep in there with him some nights and in our room other nights. Sometimes it’s REALLY frustrating, but other times I absolutely love snuggling him through his naps and nights. Definitely putting thoughts of a second child on hold for a while though!
yep. mine didn't do those things, but we coslept and nursed to sleep/all night from the beginning. we both got sleep immediately! no waking, no crying. babies NEED to eat at night. so it kills me when parents try to "train" them out of this too early 😢 when I felt like she was ready it took only hour one night for me to not nurse her through the night then she stopped asking. then did that for a few months and I didnt want to nurse her to sleep, so it took one night of that and she went to sleep in 5 minutes. at no point did she cry it out and at no point was she alone. one day when she is ready for her own bed, I believe it will be just as easy to transition. it was a long process, but no hassle at all.
@@alauramouw4830solidarity mama❤ My son just turned two this month and finally started sleeping long stretches with maybe one wake up or around 6 am and nurse back to sleep. I never thought it would happen 😅 It's really hard when kids don't follow "the rules". Eventually they all sleep - or if they are truly distressed perhaps there is a medical issue causing sleep problems. Hang in there - supporting and loving your babe will never be a regret. ❤
“It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks because they don’t know your child like you do” -Delilah This is something I wish every mama out there could hear.
I love that you guys did things differently for each baby and adapted based on new knowledge / new circumstances (other older kids etc) and so much respect that you’re discouraging mothers from judging eachother … the last thing an exhausted parent needs is judgement! What you said about the cry it out method happening naturally as you have more kids because you aren’t physically able to always be available to rock/nurse/soothe in a dark room alone makes so much sense in this modern world where we lack ‘the village’ in our immediate surroundings - it also makes me so nervous about having a third baby! I know that may end up happening but I have just love loved co-sleeping so much with both my babies and nursing through the night, it will probably be the best memory of my life and I want to be able to give the same experience to all my kids BUT like you said all babies are different! And I’m realising they REALLY are because my daughter started sleeping 7 hour stretches after a few weeks but my first never slept more than a couple of hours for nearly 2 years 🤯😂❤️
Co sleeping SAVED me when my daughter was around 4 months and we were both seriously sleep deprived and I had awful PPD. She’s now 18m and occasionally she wants to sleep with me but 99% of the time she sleeps much better in her room! It surprised me too as I expected they would all love sleeping with their mother. It really is so individual to the child 😊
Co-sleeping for the win! 4 month old sleeps through the night and we couldn’t be more thankful. Love how you have grown with each child and found what works for you and did that no matter what “sleep experts” think.
It took us 11+ years to get pregnant (no medical intervention.) I learned 2 things. 1. this too shall pass (so those late, no sleep nights will happen less and less & eventually go away) 2. CHERISH THESE TIMES! I'm not sure if I feel this because it wasn't easy for us to conceive or what, but I know we are NOT guaranteed tomorrow & I do NOT want to have any regrets! We held her all the time. We rocked her to sleep & ever so gently laid her in her crib. We did eventually sleep train but it was the right time for Both of us! Now she falls asleep on her own & sleeps great. Hope this is an encouragement! ❤
Delilah, your sleep training video you made about Eloise years ago (2018?) was how I found you. I was desperate to get our first daughter to sleep and ended up following the same type of sleep training method you used for Eloise. Our daughter has slept 12 hours a night ever since. I thank God for that video. I know you received major flack for it, but it truly helped me and I want you to know that. ❤️ Been following you ever since!
Yeah, I suspected she was wary of this topic (albeit so so requested) because of how it went with Eloise, and imho there's nothing wrong with having gone down the rabbit hole of believing unrealistic expectations that were set up by society and trusting people who are self-proclaimed "sleep experts". I would even dare go as far and say probably *most* first time moms underestimate routines and go down this rabbit hole to an extent, and the more voiced some may be against cio is likely because they themselves were there and were tempted to do that (or did it) as well. I remember spending soo much time forcing my not-at-all tired (especially when he was newborn) baby to sleep based on charts. I remember denying him nurse before sleep and even going as far as waking him up!! when I did actually manage to have him fall asleep on the breast "in order to not create bas sleeping habits" and then proceed to put him to sleep drowsy and awake (by 1,5yr this was often the case naturally even after doing over a year of breastfeeding to sleep and BFing on demand... cause it's just the natural way it goes) It took me *forever* to understand that reality is different, that non-science-based lies are being pushed at us (firstly to create a problem from something that is mostly normal and expected - baby is not sleeping through the night, baby wants to drink milk before sleep, baby wants to drink milk during the night, baby sleeps 11hrs a day instead of 14-17, newborn baby stays up for over an hour instead of 30 mins, baby wants comfort for sleep like a soother or mom,...) (secondly they sell us lies of "solutions" to the problem, so double the difficulty - do ews, ban nursing to sleep, ban nightime feedings, ban comforting, ban soothers, ban rocking and comforting baby, put baby to sleep early,...) (and thirdly to "offer a better paid solution" for the problem - hence we finally find the culprit that was keeping all those lies alive $$$). I think most parents feel it's against their grain and gut to let their babies cry excessively and not pick them up. So my guess is that some of the more angry people out there bashing CIO are some of the victims of it who haven't processed it well and come to terms with their own journeys. They often mean it well (just nurse baby to sleep, 99% they will naturally grow out of it) but word it aggressively due to unprocessed things from their past. Or they were bashed from their surrounding about having done the more natural approach following the lead of their baby and not comforming to society's expectations and not forcing sleep things (like sleeing without help and through the night) earlier than is developmentally natural, but society tells us it should be that way.
I very much appreciate you! So many parents are DROWNING in exhaustion because they are worried about their babies being left to cry. Showing that it's not just abandoning your baby to figure it out on their own is the key. We are TEACHING them how to fall asleep, and supporting them through that process. Parents should do whatever works best for them and their baby, and every baby will be different. But showing mamas that are struggling that they aren't hurting their babies by helping them learn to sleep is SO IMPORTANT!
Oh noooo… this is such an old-fashioned way to look at child’s sleep! No baby ever has to be TAUGHT to sleep. That is something every human or animal baby can by themselves 😢
@@diemeckerei3021 of course they need to learn how to fall asleep. They have to be taught EVERYTHING else. Very young babies need to be soothed to sleep with rocking and shushing, they don't just fall asleep on their own. As they get a little older developmentally, parents can guide them into learning how to self soothe. I have three happy, healthy, kind, and well adjusted young kids that learned how to fall asleep without regular assistance. Because of that, they were able to sleep through the night by six or seven months, which meant I was getting I was getting the sleep I needed to be my best self for them. Just because something seems old fashioned to you doesn't make it bad.
This video came at such a perfect time for me. I was drowning in the overwhelm of having a child that doesn’t nap and feeling the judgement of other moms… but I needed to hear your encouraging. “It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks because they don’t know your child like you do.” Thank you thank you thank you for posting this video 💕
Wake windows!! I highly recommend moms look into those. I have a schedule baby and I personally love it. I know some people don’t like being on a schedule but it so nice knowing that 7:30-8:00 everyday he’s ready for bed and wants to go to bed!!
I'm a grandmom of 2 now, Im 59. Most things don't change. As Delilah stated, YOU do what's best for YOU and your baby. People sometimes think they're being helpful, but may make you feel less than a mother should be. Many times unintentionally. Sadly, I was unable to breast feed for my 2 boys. Thus is going back 36 years. I had many people nurses included telling me a HAD to breast feed. The more i got upset that I couldn't feed my child, the worse it got. I was 23 and very scared. I felt like a failure. The next year when my 2nd son was born he had so many birth defects and later in we found out he was Autistic. So I tried to raise them both the same, but my 2nd son required different needs. Thankfully I learned real quick that you should lift other mothers up, not put them down and I started speaking to young girls who got pregnant and guide them. Delilah, you are so sweet. I'm probably the oldest in your group, but have tons of experience. We now have 2 grandchildren and our ways have differed from them too. Each little human is in himself unique. Mommas, you know whats best. Listen to your instincts. I wish you all blessings, light, love, and positive thoughts and healing energy as you go through " motherhood". And please don't think once they're grown they don't need their mommas. Cause I'm the first call that happens for just about anything. ❤
I know my baby is only 8 and a half months old…. But wow this is coming at a perfect time for me. My husband and I have been struggling so much with getting our daughter to sleep.
Your Eloise bouncing to sleep story is exactly how our experience started with our baby girl. It’s rough! Now she is 7mos and is doing sooo much better with sleep. But those early months of bouncing a crying baby to sleep were draining to say the least.
We are a household with 2 parents working outside the home full time. We cannot afford sleep deprivation and waking up with baby 5 times a night. We followed our sons lead and fed/rocked him to sleep until about 6 months when he wouldn’t settle. Then we sleep trained by doing the method you described- give him 5 mins, then 10 mins, etc. it was probably only 2-3 nights of major stress and then that was it. He’s 2 now and sleeps 12 hours through the night in his own bed every single night and only wakes if he’s sick or hurting (teething, etc). It’s been a life saver and I know people have opinions about it, but I can tell you our bond is very much in tact, he is a great independent sleeper and my husband and I get our alone time and most importantly, our SLEEP. We are much better parents if we are well rested and our son is in a much better mood all day if he’s well rested. For us- it was the best choice for everyone even though those first few days were definitely hard
I nurse my baby to sleep (14Months now) and we Co sleep since he was born. I will continue that untill I don't nurse him anymore. That way he falls asleep feeling safe and it is easy to nurse and put him back to sleep in the middle of the night. I could not let him cry or be alone on one room to fall asleep on his on because he is just a baby and he does not know that it is "safe" for him to fall asleep.
Baby soothing tip - get a YOGA BALL ❤ bouncing a heavy, sad baby is physically and mentally taxing but bouncing on a yoga ball saved us. Strongly recommend 😊
THIS IS SO REFRESHING!! It’s so frustrating with all the sleep trainers out there saying if you don’t follow their exact plan and if you respond to your crying baby they’ll NEVER sleep through the night 🙄 I let my baby girl contact nap for the first three months (my maternity leave) and I will always cherish those snuggles! She also LOVED co sleeping so we did that for about 9 months. I really appreciated how you held your approach loosely based on the child’s temperament and your household. We need more motherhood advice like this!!
I won’t lie. When I heard the Eloise method, I almost clicked off, because while I don’t have any unkind words for moms that use that method, I just don’t have anything nice to say about it either 😂 and I love you and didn’t want to have my view shifted over one detail. But I decided to just watch and see, and I’m SO glad I did. You truly show that every baby is different, every method is different, and honestly we all get to the same place at the same time. Babies do wake up, I think that’s something I didn’t know as a first time mom. My daughter started sleeping through around 16 months, but stopped nursing around 14 months. They didn’t correlate for us, again - all different. Love that you shared this. Love that I just stayed to watch. I know I have a bias, but I don’t have any negative feelings towards any parent. We all do things different and that’s okay!
Not a mom but I've heard that if you don't have access to a sound machine/can't afford it, a ticking clock works too! The baby is used to all the noises that it hears when its in the tummy so its soothing to have noise to sleep to when its out!
i have a sweet sweet 8 month old boy. our first. we are in the thick of it. i have been praying to God for a week that you specifically would make a video for this issue. thank you Lord!
I have done co-sleeping (my child sleeps with me in my bed) since he was born and he is about to turn three years old and I taught him to sleep by himself since his first year WHILE he was sleeping with me in my bed and he learned in less than a week. Lucky me 😂 currently my second baby just turned one year old and I was thinking what I was going to do this time... the video came to me at a good time👌🏻
I would recommend watching the nap times after about 3 months to make sure they don't nap for too long or too close to the evening. This helped our little ones to extend their night sleeps.
We are currently in the middle of this with our first. I’m so thankful that we have a routine and that we’ve done basically all of the same things that you did with Theo. Naps go well for the most part. Our babe wakes up several times a night to feed and I don’t think she’s hungry but she won’t fall asleep until she eats. All of this only really happens at night. It’s encouraging to know that it will end at some point, but it’s exhausting being in the middle of it. Thank you for sharing your experiences and tips!
So pumped to watch this and see this kind of parenting content!! ❤ would love more, maybe regarding independent play, preparing other children for new babies, chores for kids, etc. I know you've been trying to keep them more private so I respect any choice but would love to see this type of content that you're willing to do 😄
This is a breathe of fresh air, Thankyou! I come from a mama who I often call a martyr to attachment parenting. I also nannied kiddos who were sleep trained and slept from 7pm-7am every night. You can have ALL the ideas pre parenthood but when I hit postpartum anxiety and sleep deprivation SO bad at 7 weeks PP with my first I had to call in the experts, I was completely broken and not coping. Our boy would only nap in the carrier, with a cover over his head, if I kept bouncing and moving. He would consistently wake up 4times plus a night and feed for 30-40 mins. It was insane. We did non cry it out sleep training or very gentle sleep training with us right there and without a couple of weeks it was SO much better. We then night weaned at 10 months ish and he naturally slept through consistently from about one year. We live in a tiny house so he has a bed at the end of our bed in our loft space and we still make it work. There are so many options and if you’re in the thick of it, sleep training doesn’t need to look like walking away from your screaming baby xxx but also Ferber method or similar is better then a broken mama losing her mind, let’s get that straight!
I loved this video! So much wisdom and honesty. I have 2 kids and like you I knew nothing about baby sleep and thought they would sleep when they were tired 😂 I also developed postpartum depression and anxiety so sleep training at 3.5 months was my last resort. My daughter actually responded really well. She didn’t cry a whole lot, only the first few nights and soon after that she started sleeping through the night at around 4 months with the occasional wake up to nurse in the early morning. To this day she is an amazing sleeper. Now with my second baby, sleep training did not work at all. So we decided to not sleep train but to follow his cues. He is now 9 months old and sometimes will sleep through the night and sometimes will wake up once to nurse. We rock him, or nurse him to sleep and there have been times when we put him down awake and he would soothe himself to sleep. There’s no right or wrong when it comes to baby sleep in my opinion. It’s all about what works for you and your baby.
I had twin girls this past December, and like you said, rather like your grandma said, we kinda just fell into CIO. I'm so thankful to the Lord that He blessed us with little darlings that started sleeping through the night at 3 months old, they hardly have to CIO but have on occasion.
My experience with my first daughter is such a mix of your experiences ! I don't know if my experience will help somebody, but I personally love to hear/read testimonials so here I go : In the very beginning, she would fall asleed pretty much anywhere, we would have special little mattress for her to be safe but sleep on the couch in the living room not far from us. She was sleeping with natural light, noise, etc. We pretty much followed her own cycle with a routine (play, eat, sleep), but she really quickly was sleeping more at night than in the day. We were co-sleeping and she would nurse once or twice during the night, half asleep, so we were lucky to have around 6 hours of sleep in a row at night. Then the sleep regression occured around 3-4 months, and we fought a lot for her to fall asleep. We would "bounce" her, like you said. Baby-carrier was my bestie but my back hurt so much.. So we tested many methods, trying different situation to find the one fitted her. We had a stuffy with a sound machine, which made a huge difference for her to stay asleep during naps, not being woken up by sudden noises. We started to black out light and it worked well too. We knew her cues very early : her eyebrows were getting a little red, and she was reaching for her ears with her hand (he still does at 2yo when she is tired). That allowed us to start the napping or "night night" routine going on time. We co-slept until she was 9 months. We had tried to move her to her crib around 7 months but she was crying so much, I could not resist going in and holding her, I felt she was not ready - and I clearly wasn't on my side ! So we waited a bit more, started to put her down in her crib for portions of the night, still next to us but not IN our bed. And around 9 months, we put her to day care for few days per week, and I was not able to get enough breast milk for these feed without me, so we gradually switched to formula. And she slowly dropped her night feeds, and so we moved her bed to her room, and after 2 nights with a little bit of crying when put down, she was sleeping through the night. She has been sleeping through the night ever since. In very rare occasion (like maybe twice), I took her to my bed in the middle of the night when she was sick, but after 10 minutes she would push me away like "let me sleep you're taking all my space", and I would put her back to bed and she would be happier this way 😅 To conclude : Before 3 months, she was on "instinct sleep", then we had to learn what her needs were and find an equilibrium. We did co-sleep for 9 months and she is not at all needing us at night now. She still sleeps with a paci but we're working on it. She still sleeps with curtains, not like pitch black but in a pretty dark room still. She doesn't use her sound machine anymore. She has been sleeping from 7pm to 7am since she was like 10 months, and it is a BLESSING ! I really think listenning to your baby's needs is the key, but also yours too. I could not let her cry herself to sleep at 7 months, and it turned out she was ready to sleep on her own at 9 ! Listen to your heart ! Baby number two is on her way - due septembre ! And we'll see how we do for this little one ❤
Oh my goodness, I needed this. Your experiences with Eloise and Theo almost exactly mirrors my experience with my daughter and my son. I needed to hear that my son will grow out of his night feeds on his own. X
Thank you for sharing. I’m learning so many things with my firstborn and our experience with my son is so similar to yours with Eloise. He cries in our arms or in his crib-the only way he soothes is if we bounce him, and honestly it’s not sustainable for him or us. This was so helpful, and I feel encouraged. ❤
We're getting ready to move our 9 month old into her own bed and her own room, as I'm ready to have my bed back! We've tried the CIO method but my heart couldn't take it and it was too harsh for her, so this time we'll try something gentler. Wish us luck!
I really appreciate you sharing this! It’s so great to hear how different each baby was! I have had some sleep struggles and often felt like other moms all had it figured out. But hearing that things get better when it was not going well gives me hope and reminds me that I am not alone.
This method is called conditioning and I personally don't like it. I had a few problems with my first child too. We decided against this method and instead put him to bed and read him a book and then waited until he fell asleep. Today he can fall asleep alone. We always read him a book and then he can listen to an audio story until he falls asleep. We do the same with our daughter. She slept in our bed for over 9 months and now sleeps in her brother's room. My husband and I both put the children to bed together and it always works out great because it's a nice ritual and above all it's needs-based.
Liked your take on baby sleep !!! Good to hear a real moms experience on all the changes of sleep that a baby goes through. I’ve always nursed my babies to sleep and biologically it makes sense an for me it’s the fastest. Also babies do need there night feedings even after six months despite what some doctors or sleep experts say.
Ive always been so impressed when watching your videos for nap time just laying your babies down waving and walking out. My 3 year old begs me to rock and sing songs every nap still. Wish i had done that different. 🤷🏻♀️
I really appreciated your advice in this video. I have my first baby, she’s 3 months old. She’s been sleeping through the night but her day time naps have not been good so I tried the controlled method yesterday and worked great. Most of the time she stopped within 3 minutes and fell asleep. Longest was before bedtime, she cried for six minutes but then fell asleep and slept for 9 and half hours. I’m very glad I watched this video. I was taught that it is evil to let your baby cry themselves to sleep but now I see how in a manner like this, where it is controlled, its not. It’s helping your baby and your own well being.
Thank you for sharing your experience with your children. I was so anxious as a first time mom when sleep training didn't work out for us. I had a really tough time with my son and sleep. I'd spend so much time trying to get him to sleep because I knew he needed to, but as soon as he was flat, he was screaming and crying (and very often I was too). There was one night I stayed up the entire night holding him because I didn't know what else to do, but he slept so much more peacefully when we were in contact, so we leaned into co-sleeping / nursing to sleep and I'm so glad that we did. I love the cuddles and we all sleep so much better. I know it's not for everyone and I completely respect that! It was so interesting hearing about how different your experiences with your babies and I hope all the moms who need this video find it!
As a mama to three, I really enjoy watching your adaptations with every child. I find that I have done the same. We also have non-negotiables in the sleep world. The white noise, the wake windows, the sleepy cues, and even feeding windows, which are in the eat play sleep routine. I’ve always felt that learning your babies feeding windows can rule out lots of things. If you keep your baby fed, you alleviate so many questions. I have a brother who always blames hunger for babies crying and I almost never blame hunger, it’s usually tiredness. We found very quickly that my third had to be on his tummy to sleep. By the time I discovered this, he was strong enough to list his head significantly and so it worked out rather well. Nobody send me hate mail. Please and thanks 😉
Soooooo good to hear that another momma has gone through such a terrible time trying to get their babe to sleep. Had succchhh a tough time with my first as well - refusing to sleep, taking forever to actually fall asleep and stay asleep. Super traumatic.
Love the honor you've given your littles in your different approaches 💞. To me, that just speaks volumes above any advice and method. 😭😘 It's a wisdom and intuition in knowing what your child needs, what you need👐. I also needed the reminder that routine is important through all of it. And then, I'm with ya on wanting my baby to be able to fall asleep different places!....honestly having my baby trained as a great stroller-napper has greatly, GREATLY helped my postpartum as I got into a walking routine while she naps!
I understand how desperate you must have been with your first child. But still I think that your natural approach was actually a good one. Kids need to learn to sleep but they do not need to be trained. My both boys have almost never napped by themselves. They usually nap in the carrier or in my arms. It was hard with the first one because I thought it must be wrong, other people's babies nap in their bed but my wouldn't. I just accepted that this is what my baby needs to feel safe and it was much easier with the 2nd. However I was lucky enough to have 15 month of maternity leave and when my son went to Kindergarten he immediately slept on his own with no problem. Kids do sleep eventually and some sleep better and easier than others. I just wish that mothers would have the support to have babies sleep naturally.
I watched this video when I was 9 months pregnant in preparation for baby. Then my baby was a great sleeper right off the bat so I forgot about it. Now here I am watching it again with my 4 month old son sleeping on me because we’ve hit the 3-4 month sleep regression and are now in that place of desperation 🤦🏼♀️ Thanks for making this video ❤
Also, welldone on the "be nice" message. I get that sleep, and how, as parents, we approach our babies sleep, is a sensitive subject. But I left a WhatsApp group I was a part of as other parents tore apart a lady who was desperately struggling with her babies sleep, she needed kindness, and helpful advice, and they made her feel even worse for asking what she should do. The sad thing was that I don't think they even realised what they had done, as they didn't acknowledge her question, jusr had a conversation among themselves on the group about it. We don't realise the impact that our words can have on people. So, thank you for reminding all of the "be kind" message. I loved the video x
Your videos are so inspiring and helpful! I admire you so much as a mother. Thank you for giving me permission to just listen to my instincts as a mom, this is exactly what I needed to hear. Wishing you the best with baby #4, I’m so excited for you💕
I needed to hear that so much about when they are done breastfeeding, I really want my 12 month old to decide when he’s ready and hopefully then sleep through. Really valuable to hear your experiences, thank you!
Thank you Delilah. I have been watching you for years yet I hadn’t given my entire life to the Lord until about three years ago. Your videos even the mundane ones and these little gems are always a blessing to me. I see how I am not alone in motherhood and find comfort in your days and words. Thank you for sharing your wisdom God shares with you and your thoughtfulness! God bless you richly and more abundantly! Ps my daughters name is Delilah and they love watching the videos with me lol!
I've nursed both my daughters and have always nursed to sleep. My first was harder to settle once she started not falling asleep so we did a gentle sleep train. With my second (2 under 2) we did like you said with your third and just naturally happened when I couldn't get there straight away because I was dealing with the other. I've always attended to her and since she was about 9 months or so she would be ok going down awake after I nursed her and she happened to not fall asleep. She knows that if she needs me ill be there. So at 15 months if she wakes I'll nurse her. She sleeps through maybe 2-3 a week currently x
First time mama here and trying to figure out this whole thing! Thanks for this type of videos and sharing your own experience, you’re such a blessing for my motherhood journey
I love seeing the evolution of the sleep ❤ it gives me hope for our next baby/babies ❤ I just wanted to share some resources from sleep, experts, that support nursing to sleep or just supporting your baby to sleep because I know there’s not many out there! Raised to flourish and hey sleepy baby! ❤
I used to rock my baby to sleep. But when he turned 1 year old, he became quite heavy. I became desperate, my back amd arms really hurt from the rocking (30-60 minutes every time). Then the situation solved itself... I just tried something new for a change...after nursing him on the nursing pillow, I give him his soother, hold his hand and cuddle him and he falls asleep... then I carry him to his crib... my back and arms are really thankful. Just dont be set in your ways and dont be afraid to try different methods and ideas with your child... as long as youre calm and happy, your baby will be too...❤
My son (8 months) sounds a lot like Eloise. He is not a sleeper 😵💫 bed sharing has saved our life truthfully (following Safe sleep 7). He will periodically sleeps through the night but most nights he’s up 7-8 times. I am so exhausted. This gives me hope that it won’t always be this way. For about 6 months he was up every. Single. Hour. Love this parenting video 🤍
Thank you for this video! My son is 16 months old and it's been a rough couple months of teething, sickness, and busy social events! He is still waking up for night feeds, and since we are in a one bedroom apartment, he is still in the room with us, in his own crib. He is almost fighting sleep, or struggling to go back to sleep for whatever reason! Maybe teething, or too energized. And the struggle is wearing my patience thin, I'm sorry to say. I feel like I'm stumbling around in the dark, hoping something, anything will work. Feels like every night, every day is different. This makes me think I need a better routine and schedule that I stick to throughout the day and night. It has NEVER been a strong suit of mine. So that's what I'm aspiring to and encouraged to do in this video. Thank you!!
Thanks so much for sharing your baby sleep stories! Loved listening through. I think the first is the hardest child since you are learning everything. My firstborn would NOT go to sleep once we put him in his own room when he was about 18-20 months-ish old. He would NOT fall asleep unless we were in view, even if in the hallway outside of the room. When we thought he was finally asleep, he'd be upset to not see us there anymore. It was really hard to deal with because my first two are 22 months apart too. When we did try to let him cry it out. . .it didn't work at all. Plus our landlord was downstairs right under the bedroom, so we needed to find another way to take care of that situation. I have never done that since. Our second child, after switching him out of his room after six months, we would just rub his back and it helped that his big brother was in the same room as him, so he would fall asleep much more easily. The firstborn appreciated having someone in the room with him too, so he became easier to put into bed as well. Definitely routines help. I think that every child and method works differently person to person. :)
Thank you for making this! Kinda wish you were more specific on some points. As a first time mom I’m struggling getting my 6 month old to sleep on his own and not wake up every hour at night. For example, you stressed drowsy but awake…but what do you do if baby starting crying/screaming? Do you let him cry? For how long? When you said you practice letting William sleep anywhere like the bed, bassinet, crib…how did you get him to fall asleep in those space? Did you just put him down and he fell asleep on his own? What if he stared crying? Did soothe him?
Love your insight. We had great sleepers for our first two children but our third who is 7 months old has been the most difficult sleeper. Your experiences are comforting and encouraging. Thank you!
Delilah, thank you so much for sharing. Sleep has been a nonstop struggle for me with my son, and I made so many mistakes like you described with Eloise because I had no idea about sleep cues, wake windows, etc. What you did with your first sounds a lot like the Ferber method. We had to take a gentler approach (shush pat/pupd) because Ferber made him distraught, but at 11 months he is doing so much better. He still nurses once or twice a night but puts himself back to sleep afterwards, and we cosleep when he wakes a second time around 4 or 5, but he is in his cot until then. I hope he'll naturally wean himself at some point as you describe. I'll add that you are very brave going through it all over again with a second, third and now fourth. I'm so traumatised by the sleeping struggles with my first that even now that I am armed with knowledge and experience, I am terrified to do it a second time.
This is such a timely video, thank you so much for sharing your tips! My 8 month old has been sleeping so poorly over the past 2 months, so we're looking forward to trying a few new things. Also, thanks for sharing your experience with CIO. I feel like even mentioning it in a lot of spaces brings backlash, but it's so refreshing to hear a positive story!
Hi Delilah, I'm a 59yr old mom and wish I had half the knowledge that you have! Thanks so much for your time, wisdom and sharing of your beautiful family! I'm going to save this for my daughter who is planning on starting a family at the end of the year. Hugs, Rachele~
My child refused everything but cosleeping and it's as frowned upon where I live as in the US and Canada. I was terrified that he would die, but I read up on the research and how to do it safely (safe sleep 7 and the infant sleep book by McKenna) and we coslept. When he was about 15 months we moved him to his own room (with a big, ordinary bed) and took turns sleeping there with him. And gradually he's been able to sleep longer stretches alone. That worked for us.
@@girlwithakite Well, the recommendations here is to have the baby in therír own sleeping space for the first three months, and then it's ok to cosleep. It is considered very dangerous, yes, although if you read up on the research it is really not that black and white. I would have loved to have him in his crib but he just refused. And he woke up every two hours to nurse until he was weaned so that way I got at least some sleep. Edited to add: If you look at the research there's a correlation between cosleeping (in a bed) and an increased risk for SIDS, but the available research can't say anything about possible causation. Note that this is specifically about cosleeping in a bed, ie. on a flat surface, and not in a sofa or chair (that is indeed dangerous).
Wonderful video, new subscriber here ✨, I have 8 children and I couldn't have said anything better, I have nothing to add! Hugs to all the momma's who are sleep deprived, and many blessings to you and your beautiful family.
I made mistakes with my eldest. I would stand by the dishwasher to try and get her to sleep, sit in complete silence and darkness hoping to keep her asleep, and didn’t have a routine in the first few months except breastfeeding on demand. I found it so hard. She would wake in the night, not crying just awake, (probably from going down too early) and I would cry because I didn’t know what she wanted. I was sleep deprived and suffering from possible postpartum depression (not diagnosed) Then we did the bath-fed-bed routine from early on and found that it worked really well. Mine were breastfed on demand, and were good with the sleep cues. I continued this routine with my second child, and I still do this now (switched up to drink story bed now they’re older) and sit with them until they fall asleep. This is so they know I’m there and feel secure. It only takes 10 minutes nowadays, and they sleep through unless they’re ill. (They are almost 7 and 5) Do what is best for you and baby, completely agree. ❤
This is really helpful! I am not a mother yet, although I think this information will help me in the future. Though I am currently a full-time nanny for a one year old, and I have had a hard time putting her down for a nap in her pram (I have to walk her to sleep because she doesn’t have a cot). I think getting to know her sleepy cues and putting her down right away will be a game changer! Thank you Delilah!
Sleep training gets so much unfair hate. I truly think I would have gone insane if we hadn’t sleep trained. The lack of sleep is truly dangerous at times. Co-sleeping didn’t work for me because I found it to be SO uncomfortable that I still wasn’t able to sleep. Plus it led to my baby *literally* being on my boob the entire night which can be bad for baby’s teeth, tummy, and MY mental health/back. We sleep trained around 7 months (we did the pick up/put down method) and she was sleeping 10 hours through the night within about a month. My mental health improved DRASTICALLY.
Thank you for this and encouraging us all going through these stages in motherhood. I have 4 more weeks until my 2nd boy is born and I have been so worried thinking of a new routine and what will work with my newborn and 3 year old. It took a long time for my 1st to sleep through the night and remembering all those 45+ min rocking sessions just to try to put him back to sleep has been giving me tons of anxiety. You helped give a calm that was much needed.
Thank you for this! It’s so good to hear this! I went through the same thing with my second child we were desperate at 4 months. Once we implemented similar things it changed for the better!
We went through this too, once I learned that my daughter was better off getting herself to sleep than me holding her and rocking her to sleep, it was a game changer. Especially once she was in her own crib, she slept through the night consistently!
Thank you so much! I'm engaged currently and going to be married this summer, and as I've struggled with sleep as a single person and seen the horrible affects it has had on me mentally, I've started to grow anxious about what it will be like when we start having babies. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!! I definitely took notes on this video for the future :)
I have searched far and wide for sleep advice! This is the best video I have found. As a first time mom, it’s great to feel not alone and hopeful. Definitely watch the whole video!
I‘m SOOO thankful for this video! 😭 just the right time! My daughter (7 month) only sleeps half an hour every nap (3 times a day) since month 5. So that makes it difficult to stick to a routine as eating and sleeping often collide. I already tried to sneak into her room to calm her before she wakes up, so that she finds her way into the next sleep cycle. But unfortunately she is awake right away.. but I really wanna give the cry it out method another chance. I tried it once and it really worked, but then I somehow stopped being as consequent as I was at the beginning and with the 4th month the sleep regression really hit. Ever since then sleeping is such a big problem. Greetings from Germany 🩷
My 2 year old cosleeps and breastfeeds on demand. Today She took her first nap on her own ever except in the carseat today and im happy but sad. My one and only❤
Thank you for this video! For us this absolutely didn't work. I have a very temperamental daughter, and if we put her down for even a minute she would cry as if the world was falling apart. Like, soul-crushing crying. So during the day she was also not often on the floor/pack 'n play by herself. I've tried to let her cry for just a little bit, but it was so soul crushing to me that it would have become a trauma if I would have pushed through. I've seen quite some other baby's by now, and I'm quite confident that it was not me, but really the character of my daughter to not want to lie or sit anywhere without me. So when she was little I carried her in the wrap A LOT and she also fell asleep in the wrap, wherever we were. The first three weeks we were sleep deprived, because every time we put her in the co-sleeper she would wake up again and everything (feeding, soothing, rocking) started all over again. At three weeks old I read into safe co-sleeping, with bed sharing. And from that week everything got SO much better. Even though she woke up like 8-10 times in the night, we felt totally rested the next day. She woke up, searched for the boob, drunk, and safely fell asleep again. Thanks to the hormones released during breastfeeding, I was often already asleep before she finished drinking. She is now 1,5 years old. At day time, she falls asleep in the stroller during a walk, or in bed when I feed her to sleep (and then roll away). We bought another full person sized bed and put it next to our bed, so we now have a three person bed. She still sleeps with us in the bed and feeds about 4-5 times a night. But still, me and my husband feel rested when we wake up in the morning, and to us that has always been the most important thing. (And yes, we still find our ways to make our marriage work, if you know what I mean... 😉 ) And as Delilah says, co-sleeping with your child can be SO lovely, to snuggle up to that small warm body in your bed. It does require a mind shift change, but I would definitely do it all over again the same way when our second child arrives.
I was totally asking about how you sleep trained your babies on one of your recent vlogs. I am so thankful you made this video. I used to have my 3 year old and my 9 month old in the same room as me (my husband in his office). My son used to wake up for a night time feed (2am to 4am ish) and so we went a week without giving the feed and he dropped it. Last weekend my husband and I switched bedrooms with the kids and introduced a pacifier only at night and it made a huge difference. We did a gentle sleep trained method. We now have our master bedroom and an adorable kid I bedroom. : ) If he wakes at night , I do get up and try to put the pacifier by hand, not directly give it to him so he learned to 'find it'. I think he will learn to find it himself very soon. If he is sitting up in the middle of the night, I gently bring him down to his tummy ( he likes to sleep this way) and give him the pacifier. My daughter sounds just like Eloise. My daughter was a nightmare to try and to sleep train. We did cry it out for 6 months with no improvement. It was horrible. She did learn how to nap fantastically though because of sleep training, tired queues, and schedules. WE didn't know what we were doing and she could not self-soothe. After 6 ish months, I decided to co-sleep. It worked with her and it worked for me. She is now almost 3 and is happily sleeping in her own bed with her brother in the crib. Sleep training is like you said, very different with every kid.
Thanks so much for this video! I agree that we can figure out what works best for us and our own babies because they are all so different. A mixture of different methods is totally okay, too! Sometimes we'd be at our wits end and let them cry for a bit, sometimes I'd nurse to sleep and love it. Also, babies change and develop and, consequently, their needs change, too! We can always change our minds after making a decision. We're all just trying to stay sane and love our kids and that's what brings us all to channels like yours. If we're researching and care that much, then we're all doing a good job. :)
Breastfeeding doesn’t have to stop when the baby or toddler is sleeping through the night. My son was mostly sleeping through from about a year but for the next four months or so he would breastfeed when he came in with me for a cuddle first thing in the morning. That was the last feed to go.
I was firmly against CIO until I had an almost 3 year old who needed me to lay next to her to fall asleep, which took up to 3-4 hours some nights-all while pregnant and nursing my 1 year old. I was amazed when we tried the CIO method. We went from extremely sleep deprived and on the verge of depression to sleeping almost through the night within one week! My baby would sometimes cry for hours as I tried to get her to sleep, but with CIO she would fall asleep so fast. I realized I was DISTRACTING her from falling asleep and staying asleep. She needed to be alone to soothe herself so she could sleep well. After my 3rd & 4th were of the age that we felt they were old enough to sleep train (usually when they dropped nighttime feeds) we did and we have no regrets!
I would also add that an appropriate daytime schedule really helps with sleep training. My son sleeps terribly at night if he needs even 15 more minutes of wake time during the day and doesn't get it.
Thank you! So tired…and baby girl is 2 weeks old! We will get there, but I’m single, so there’s isn’t anyone to give me breaks. This gave me some starting places to work on, though trying to figure out a routine with a two week old feels daunting!
Hi Delilah! It’s so beautiful seeing the evolution of your mothering and how you’ve adapted and made changes best suited you, your babies and family. I’m a Postpartum Doula and would love to add a few things.
1. The way you decide to parent doesn’t matter as long as you’re comfortable with your choices and they are an informed decision based on up to date evidence.
2. Every single baby is different just like every single adult. Some will happy co sleep, some will want their own space, some will breastfeed until they’re 2.5yo and some will feed until they’re 1yo.
3. Your baby will take the sleep they need. If they take a shorter than usual nap, that’s okay. You do not NEED to go into the dark room and rock, feed and shush for another 30 minutes. If they’re happy then move on, don’t stress yourself out.
4. It’s normal for babies to wake in the night! They wake to ensure they’re still safe and that all around them is as it was previously. Sometimes they might need some assistance to get to sleep and however you decide to do that, that’s okay! Feed back to sleep, change of sleep space, rocking or patting.
5. Nap is not for mama to go and clean, cook and tick things off her list! (This is easier said than done). But a reminder that you need time to refuel with a nourishing meal, you need time to recharge by sitting and relaxing, you need time for you by doing something that boosts your oxytocin like watching a comedy show or sitting in the sun with a tea. The best way to be the best parent is ensuring you take time for you. There is nothing wrong with ticking things off your list while your babies are awake!
A happy, fed and clean baby is the ultimate goal. Sleep will fall into place as they grow and one day you’ll miss those night time cuddles. 🤍
That’s all great advice ty so much I have two boys 5 and almost 1
#5….. ABSOLUTELY. Took me far too long to realise this. It’s easy to run ourselves into the ground constantly on go go go. Mama needs time off too ❤
I am pregnant with baby #2 and I could cry reading this. I was so hard on myself with my son and sleep - I wish I had read this 18 months ago. Thank you for the beautiful advice and reassurance that your comment provides! ❤
Sound advice
My little girl is 8 months and I am only now practicing #5. It was a life changer. The realization that my baby enjoys playing while I get a chore or two done helped me relax and take time for me. Especially as an exclusively pumping mom - you are often fitting in pumping during naps just so you're available when they wake. So learning to supervise and get things done was so helpful.
For parents researching sleep, I recommend studying and reading books about biological sleep. There are reasons why babies need to wake, rocked to sleep, nursed to sleep, etc. Use your intuition and instinct because mother knows best ❤ eventually they all sleep through the night.
Love this!
That is soooo true!!!
Love this!!!!
Do you have any good books/resources? :)
Sweet Sleep is a great book/resource on this.
We tried sleep training my son. We were in the depths of severe sleep deprivation getting max 3 hrs sleep per night. But it simply didn't work. He would cry until he would vomit and hyperventilate even though we never left him alone for longer than 10 minutes. After a few attempts at this we decided it wasn't for us. Everything we were being told is that he would never sleep independently if he had a dummy, was fed to sleep, rocked to sleep, co slept on occasion etc. Surprise surprise as he got older he started to sleep. We followed his lead and slowly but surely he was able to fall asleep independently and sleep through the night (by 15 months). I wish I never bought into the narrative of "you have to do XYZ or they will never sleep" because it simple isn't true.
You're absolutely right, they'll sleep when they are developmentally ready.
My son is the same way, vomiting and all, but we’re going on 21 months and he still wakes up multiple times a night and won’t fall asleep unless we’re rocking him. At this point I’m just telling myself that he’ll get there at some point, and we’re considering putting a floor mattress in his room now so I can sleep in there with him some nights and in our room other nights. Sometimes it’s REALLY frustrating, but other times I absolutely love snuggling him through his naps and nights. Definitely putting thoughts of a second child on hold for a while though!
Agreed.
yep. mine didn't do those things, but we coslept and nursed to sleep/all night from the beginning. we both got sleep immediately! no waking, no crying. babies NEED to eat at night. so it kills me when parents try to "train" them out of this too early 😢
when I felt like she was ready it took only hour one night for me to not nurse her through the night then she stopped asking. then did that for a few months and I didnt want to nurse her to sleep, so it took one night of that and she went to sleep in 5 minutes. at no point did she cry it out and at no point was she alone.
one day when she is ready for her own bed, I believe it will be just as easy to transition.
it was a long process, but no hassle at all.
@@alauramouw4830solidarity mama❤ My son just turned two this month and finally started sleeping long stretches with maybe one wake up or around 6 am and nurse back to sleep. I never thought it would happen 😅 It's really hard when kids don't follow "the rules". Eventually they all sleep - or if they are truly distressed perhaps there is a medical issue causing sleep problems. Hang in there - supporting and loving your babe will never be a regret. ❤
“It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks because they don’t know your child like you do” -Delilah
This is something I wish every mama out there could hear.
I love that you guys did things differently for each baby and adapted based on new knowledge / new circumstances (other older kids etc) and so much respect that you’re discouraging mothers from judging eachother … the last thing an exhausted parent needs is judgement! What you said about the cry it out method happening naturally as you have more kids because you aren’t physically able to always be available to rock/nurse/soothe in a dark room alone makes so much sense in this modern world where we lack ‘the village’ in our immediate surroundings - it also makes me so nervous about having a third baby! I know that may end up happening but I have just love loved co-sleeping so much with both my babies and nursing through the night, it will probably be the best memory of my life and I want to be able to give the same experience to all my kids BUT like you said all babies are different! And I’m realising they REALLY are because my daughter started sleeping 7 hour stretches after a few weeks but my first never slept more than a couple of hours for nearly 2 years 🤯😂❤️
Co sleeping SAVED me when my daughter was around 4 months and we were both seriously sleep deprived and I had awful PPD. She’s now 18m and occasionally she wants to sleep with me but 99% of the time she sleeps much better in her room! It surprised me too as I expected they would all love sleeping with their mother. It really is so individual to the child 😊
How long did you cosleep for? I currently have a 4 month and we're co sleeping and I'm wondering if she'll ever be able to sleep on her own 🤔
Co-sleeping for the win! 4 month old sleeps through the night and we couldn’t be more thankful. Love how you have grown with each child and found what works for you and did that no matter what “sleep experts” think.
It took us 11+ years to get pregnant (no medical intervention.) I learned 2 things.
1. this too shall pass (so those late, no sleep nights will happen less and less & eventually go away)
2. CHERISH THESE TIMES! I'm not sure if I feel this because it wasn't easy for us to conceive or what, but I know we are NOT guaranteed tomorrow & I do NOT want to have any regrets! We held her all the time. We rocked her to sleep & ever so gently laid her in her crib. We did eventually sleep train but it was the right time for Both of us! Now she falls asleep on her own & sleeps great. Hope this is an encouragement! ❤
Delilah, your sleep training video you made about Eloise years ago (2018?) was how I found you. I was desperate to get our first daughter to sleep and ended up following the same type of sleep training method you used for Eloise. Our daughter has slept 12 hours a night ever since. I thank God for that video. I know you received major flack for it, but it truly helped me and I want you to know that. ❤️ Been following you ever since!
Delilah going hard on the "be nice" warnings 👏👏 I love it lol
Yeah, I suspected she was wary of this topic (albeit so so requested) because of how it went with Eloise, and imho there's nothing wrong with having gone down the rabbit hole of believing unrealistic expectations that were set up by society and trusting people who are self-proclaimed "sleep experts". I would even dare go as far and say probably *most* first time moms underestimate routines and go down this rabbit hole to an extent, and the more voiced some may be against cio is likely because they themselves were there and were tempted to do that (or did it) as well.
I remember spending soo much time forcing my not-at-all tired (especially when he was newborn) baby to sleep based on charts. I remember denying him nurse before sleep and even going as far as waking him up!! when I did actually manage to have him fall asleep on the breast "in order to not create bas sleeping habits" and then proceed to put him to sleep drowsy and awake (by 1,5yr this was often the case naturally even after doing over a year of breastfeeding to sleep and BFing on demand... cause it's just the natural way it goes)
It took me *forever* to understand that reality is different, that non-science-based lies are being pushed at us (firstly to create a problem from something that is mostly normal and expected - baby is not sleeping through the night, baby wants to drink milk before sleep, baby wants to drink milk during the night, baby sleeps 11hrs a day instead of 14-17, newborn baby stays up for over an hour instead of 30 mins, baby wants comfort for sleep like a soother or mom,...) (secondly they sell us lies of "solutions" to the problem, so double the difficulty - do ews, ban nursing to sleep, ban nightime feedings, ban comforting, ban soothers, ban rocking and comforting baby, put baby to sleep early,...) (and thirdly to "offer a better paid solution" for the problem - hence we finally find the culprit that was keeping all those lies alive $$$).
I think most parents feel it's against their grain and gut to let their babies cry excessively and not pick them up. So my guess is that some of the more angry people out there bashing CIO are some of the victims of it who haven't processed it well and come to terms with their own journeys. They often mean it well (just nurse baby to sleep, 99% they will naturally grow out of it) but word it aggressively due to unprocessed things from their past. Or they were bashed from their surrounding about having done the more natural approach following the lead of their baby and not comforming to society's expectations and not forcing sleep things (like sleeing without help and through the night) earlier than is developmentally natural, but society tells us it should be that way.
Lol I also loved it! One of my favorite part of this video
I very much appreciate you! So many parents are DROWNING in exhaustion because they are worried about their babies being left to cry. Showing that it's not just abandoning your baby to figure it out on their own is the key. We are TEACHING them how to fall asleep, and supporting them through that process.
Parents should do whatever works best for them and their baby, and every baby will be different. But showing mamas that are struggling that they aren't hurting their babies by helping them learn to sleep is SO IMPORTANT!
Oh noooo… this is such an old-fashioned way to look at child’s sleep! No baby ever has to be TAUGHT to sleep. That is something every human or animal baby can by themselves 😢
@@diemeckerei3021 of course they need to learn how to fall asleep. They have to be taught EVERYTHING else. Very young babies need to be soothed to sleep with rocking and shushing, they don't just fall asleep on their own. As they get a little older developmentally, parents can guide them into learning how to self soothe. I have three happy, healthy, kind, and well adjusted young kids that learned how to fall asleep without regular assistance. Because of that, they were able to sleep through the night by six or seven months, which meant I was getting I was getting the sleep I needed to be my best self for them. Just because something seems old fashioned to you doesn't make it bad.
This video came at such a perfect time for me. I was drowning in the overwhelm of having a child that doesn’t nap and feeling the judgement of other moms… but I needed to hear your encouraging. “It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks because they don’t know your child like you do.”
Thank you thank you thank you for posting this video 💕
Wake windows!! I highly recommend moms look into those. I have a schedule baby and I personally love it. I know some people don’t like being on a schedule but it so nice knowing that 7:30-8:00 everyday he’s ready for bed and wants to go to bed!!
I'm a grandmom of 2 now, Im 59. Most things don't change. As Delilah stated, YOU do what's best for YOU and your baby. People sometimes think they're being helpful, but may make you feel less than a mother should be. Many times unintentionally. Sadly, I was unable to breast feed for my 2 boys. Thus is going back 36 years. I had many people nurses included telling me a HAD to breast feed. The more i got upset that I couldn't feed my child, the worse it got. I was 23 and very scared. I felt like a failure. The next year when my 2nd son was born he had so many birth defects and later in we found out he was Autistic. So I tried to raise them both the same, but my 2nd son required different needs. Thankfully I learned real quick that you should lift other mothers up, not put them down and I started speaking to young girls who got pregnant and guide them. Delilah, you are so sweet. I'm probably the oldest in your group, but have tons of experience. We now have 2 grandchildren and our ways have differed from them too. Each little human is in himself unique. Mommas, you know whats best. Listen to your instincts. I wish you all blessings, light, love, and positive thoughts and healing energy as you go through " motherhood". And please don't think once they're grown they don't need their mommas. Cause I'm the first call that happens for just about anything. ❤
I know my baby is only 8 and a half months old…. But wow this is coming at a perfect time for me. My husband and I have been struggling so much with getting our daughter to sleep.
Your Eloise bouncing to sleep story is exactly how our experience started with our baby girl. It’s rough! Now she is 7mos and is doing sooo much better with sleep. But those early months of bouncing a crying baby to sleep were draining to say the least.
We are a household with 2 parents working outside the home full time. We cannot afford sleep deprivation and waking up with baby 5 times a night. We followed our sons lead and fed/rocked him to sleep until about 6 months when he wouldn’t settle. Then we sleep trained by doing the method you described- give him 5 mins, then 10 mins, etc. it was probably only 2-3 nights of major stress and then that was it. He’s 2 now and sleeps 12 hours through the night in his own bed every single night and only wakes if he’s sick or hurting (teething, etc). It’s been a life saver and I know people have opinions about it, but I can tell you our bond is very much in tact, he is a great independent sleeper and my husband and I get our alone time and most importantly, our SLEEP. We are much better parents if we are well rested and our son is in a much better mood all day if he’s well rested. For us- it was the best choice for everyone even though those first few days were definitely hard
I nurse my baby to sleep (14Months now) and we Co sleep since he was born. I will continue that untill I don't nurse him anymore. That way he falls asleep feeling safe and it is easy to nurse and put him back to sleep in the middle of the night. I could not let him cry or be alone on one room to fall asleep on his on because he is just a baby and he does not know that it is "safe" for him to fall asleep.
Baby soothing tip - get a YOGA BALL ❤ bouncing a heavy, sad baby is physically and mentally taxing but bouncing on a yoga ball saved us. Strongly recommend 😊
I have an exercise trampoline and my daughter loved it when she was little 😅
@@literarymary4933 definitely sounds easier than standing and trying to bounce!
GENIUS!!
It was so low effort and worked like a charm!! And it was so comical I couldn’t be mad about it 😂❤
Thank you!! I am pregnant with my first baby and it's so helpful to hear what other mothers have done.
I'm impressed you actually remember details from the days of next to zero sleep. Lol this was so good and helpful and relatable. Thanks
THIS IS SO REFRESHING!! It’s so frustrating with all the sleep trainers out there saying if you don’t follow their exact plan and if you respond to your crying baby they’ll NEVER sleep through the night 🙄 I let my baby girl contact nap for the first three months (my maternity leave) and I will always cherish those snuggles! She also LOVED co sleeping so we did that for about 9 months. I really appreciated how you held your approach loosely based on the child’s temperament and your household. We need more motherhood advice like this!!
I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant with my first so this video is perfect timing!
I won’t lie. When I heard the Eloise method, I almost clicked off, because while I don’t have any unkind words for moms that use that method, I just don’t have anything nice to say about it either 😂 and I love you and didn’t want to have my view shifted over one detail.
But I decided to just watch and see, and I’m SO glad I did. You truly show that every baby is different, every method is different, and honestly we all get to the same place at the same time. Babies do wake up, I think that’s something I didn’t know as a first time mom. My daughter started sleeping through around 16 months, but stopped nursing around 14 months. They didn’t correlate for us, again - all different. Love that you shared this. Love that I just stayed to watch. I know I have a bias, but I don’t have any negative feelings towards any parent. We all do things different and that’s okay!
Not a mom but I've heard that if you don't have access to a sound machine/can't afford it, a ticking clock works too! The baby is used to all the noises that it hears when its in the tummy so its soothing to have noise to sleep to when its out!
Mumma of 5 here... Watching sleepy cues & Wake windows & not feeding to sleep. you nailed it.
i have a sweet sweet 8 month old boy. our first. we are in the thick of it. i have been praying to God for a week that you specifically would make a video for this issue. thank you Lord!
I have done co-sleeping (my child sleeps with me in my bed) since he was born and he is about to turn three years old and I taught him to sleep by himself since his first year WHILE he was sleeping with me in my bed and he learned in less than a week. Lucky me 😂 currently my second baby just turned one year old and I was thinking what I was going to do this time... the video came to me at a good time👌🏻
I would recommend watching the nap times after about 3 months to make sure they don't nap for too long or too close to the evening. This helped our little ones to extend their night sleeps.
We are currently in the middle of this with our first. I’m so thankful that we have a routine and that we’ve done basically all of the same things that you did with Theo.
Naps go well for the most part. Our babe wakes up several times a night to feed and I don’t think she’s hungry but she won’t fall asleep until she eats. All of this only really happens at night. It’s encouraging to know that it will end at some point, but it’s exhausting being in the middle of it.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and tips!
So pumped to watch this and see this kind of parenting content!! ❤ would love more, maybe regarding independent play, preparing other children for new babies, chores for kids, etc. I know you've been trying to keep them more private so I respect any choice but would love to see this type of content that you're willing to do 😄
I second preparing for a new baby!! We've begun to talk about our second and are wondering about how to share with our daughter!
@@chloeremington7139 love it! How exciting! I am due a day after Delilah with my second so it's forefront in my mind when I watch her content now 😂
Right?! I'm 59, obvi my 3 are older, but WOW! Wish I had this back then! Glad I have it now so I can share with other new moms.
Thank you so much for this video. We have been desperate to get our baby girl to sleep, but it's been so difficult. This is truly encouraging 🙏🏼
This is a breathe of fresh air, Thankyou! I come from a mama who I often call a martyr to attachment parenting. I also nannied kiddos who were sleep trained and slept from 7pm-7am every night. You can have ALL the ideas pre parenthood but when I hit postpartum anxiety and sleep deprivation SO bad at 7 weeks PP with my first I had to call in the experts, I was completely broken and not coping. Our boy would only nap in the carrier, with a cover over his head, if I kept bouncing and moving. He would consistently wake up 4times plus a night and feed for 30-40 mins. It was insane. We did non cry it out sleep training or very gentle sleep training with us right there and without a couple of weeks it was SO much better. We then night weaned at 10 months ish and he naturally slept through consistently from about one year. We live in a tiny house so he has a bed at the end of our bed in our loft space and we still make it work. There are so many options and if you’re in the thick of it, sleep training doesn’t need to look like walking away from your screaming baby xxx but also Ferber method or similar is better then a broken mama losing her mind, let’s get that straight!
I loved this video! So much wisdom and honesty.
I have 2 kids and like you I knew nothing about baby sleep and thought they would sleep when they were tired 😂
I also developed postpartum depression and anxiety so sleep training at 3.5 months was my last resort. My daughter actually responded really well. She didn’t cry a whole lot, only the first few nights and soon after that she started sleeping through the night at around 4 months with the occasional wake up to nurse in the early morning. To this day she is an amazing sleeper. Now with my second baby, sleep training did not work at all. So we decided to not sleep train but to follow his cues. He is now 9 months old and sometimes will sleep through the night and sometimes will wake up once to nurse. We rock him, or nurse him to sleep and there have been times when we put him down awake and he would soothe himself to sleep. There’s no right or wrong when it comes to baby sleep in my opinion. It’s all about what works for you and your baby.
Wow as a first time mum to a 4 month old who definitely does not sleep through the night i think i manifested this video
Same here!
Second time mom but still. Same!!!! I needed this
Most babies don’t, your doing a great job.
I had twin girls this past December, and like you said, rather like your grandma said, we kinda just fell into CIO. I'm so thankful to the Lord that He blessed us with little darlings that started sleeping through the night at 3 months old, they hardly have to CIO but have on occasion.
My experience with my first daughter is such a mix of your experiences ! I don't know if my experience will help somebody, but I personally love to hear/read testimonials so here I go :
In the very beginning, she would fall asleed pretty much anywhere, we would have special little mattress for her to be safe but sleep on the couch in the living room not far from us. She was sleeping with natural light, noise, etc. We pretty much followed her own cycle with a routine (play, eat, sleep), but she really quickly was sleeping more at night than in the day. We were co-sleeping and she would nurse once or twice during the night, half asleep, so we were lucky to have around 6 hours of sleep in a row at night. Then the sleep regression occured around 3-4 months, and we fought a lot for her to fall asleep. We would "bounce" her, like you said. Baby-carrier was my bestie but my back hurt so much.. So we tested many methods, trying different situation to find the one fitted her. We had a stuffy with a sound machine, which made a huge difference for her to stay asleep during naps, not being woken up by sudden noises. We started to black out light and it worked well too. We knew her cues very early : her eyebrows were getting a little red, and she was reaching for her ears with her hand (he still does at 2yo when she is tired). That allowed us to start the napping or "night night" routine going on time. We co-slept until she was 9 months. We had tried to move her to her crib around 7 months but she was crying so much, I could not resist going in and holding her, I felt she was not ready - and I clearly wasn't on my side ! So we waited a bit more, started to put her down in her crib for portions of the night, still next to us but not IN our bed. And around 9 months, we put her to day care for few days per week, and I was not able to get enough breast milk for these feed without me, so we gradually switched to formula. And she slowly dropped her night feeds, and so we moved her bed to her room, and after 2 nights with a little bit of crying when put down, she was sleeping through the night. She has been sleeping through the night ever since. In very rare occasion (like maybe twice), I took her to my bed in the middle of the night when she was sick, but after 10 minutes she would push me away like "let me sleep you're taking all my space", and I would put her back to bed and she would be happier this way 😅
To conclude : Before 3 months, she was on "instinct sleep", then we had to learn what her needs were and find an equilibrium. We did co-sleep for 9 months and she is not at all needing us at night now. She still sleeps with a paci but we're working on it. She still sleeps with curtains, not like pitch black but in a pretty dark room still. She doesn't use her sound machine anymore. She has been sleeping from 7pm to 7am since she was like 10 months, and it is a BLESSING ! I really think listenning to your baby's needs is the key, but also yours too. I could not let her cry herself to sleep at 7 months, and it turned out she was ready to sleep on her own at 9 ! Listen to your heart !
Baby number two is on her way - due septembre ! And we'll see how we do for this little one ❤
Oh my goodness, I needed this. Your experiences with Eloise and Theo almost exactly mirrors my experience with my daughter and my son. I needed to hear that my son will grow out of his night feeds on his own. X
Thank you for sharing. I’m learning so many things with my firstborn and our experience with my son is so similar to yours with Eloise. He cries in our arms or in his crib-the only way he soothes is if we bounce him, and honestly it’s not sustainable for him or us. This was so helpful, and I feel encouraged. ❤
We're getting ready to move our 9 month old into her own bed and her own room, as I'm ready to have my bed back! We've tried the CIO method but my heart couldn't take it and it was too harsh for her, so this time we'll try something gentler. Wish us luck!
I really appreciate you sharing this! It’s so great to hear how different each baby was! I have had some sleep struggles and often felt like other moms all had it figured out. But hearing that things get better when it was not going well gives me hope and reminds me that I am not alone.
This method is called conditioning and I personally don't like it. I had a few problems with my first child too. We decided against this method and instead put him to bed and read him a book and then waited until he fell asleep. Today he can fall asleep alone. We always read him a book and then he can listen to an audio story until he falls asleep. We do the same with our daughter. She slept in our bed for over 9 months and now sleeps in her brother's room. My husband and I both put the children to bed together and it always works out great because it's a nice ritual and above all it's needs-based.
Liked your take on baby sleep !!! Good to hear a real moms experience on all the changes of sleep that a baby goes through. I’ve always nursed my babies to sleep and biologically it makes sense an for me it’s the fastest. Also babies do need there night feedings even after six months despite what some doctors or sleep experts say.
Ive always been so impressed when watching your videos for nap time just laying your babies down waving and walking out. My 3 year old begs me to rock and sing songs every nap still. Wish i had done that different. 🤷🏻♀️
I really appreciated your advice in this video. I have my first baby, she’s 3 months old. She’s been sleeping through the night but her day time naps have not been good so I tried the controlled method yesterday and worked great. Most of the time she stopped within 3 minutes and fell asleep. Longest was before bedtime, she cried for six minutes but then fell asleep and slept for 9 and half hours. I’m very glad I watched this video. I was taught that it is evil to let your baby cry themselves to sleep but now I see how in a manner like this, where it is controlled, its not. It’s helping your baby and your own well being.
I was that child that cried all night and slept during the day for 3 months. Now I'm not a mother yet but i'm here always supporting ❤
Thank you for sharing your experience with your children. I was so anxious as a first time mom when sleep training didn't work out for us. I had a really tough time with my son and sleep. I'd spend so much time trying to get him to sleep because I knew he needed to, but as soon as he was flat, he was screaming and crying (and very often I was too). There was one night I stayed up the entire night holding him because I didn't know what else to do, but he slept so much more peacefully when we were in contact, so we leaned into co-sleeping / nursing to sleep and I'm so glad that we did. I love the cuddles and we all sleep so much better. I know it's not for everyone and I completely respect that! It was so interesting hearing about how different your experiences with your babies and I hope all the moms who need this video find it!
As a mama to three, I really enjoy watching your adaptations with every child. I find that I have done the same. We also have non-negotiables in the sleep world. The white noise, the wake windows, the sleepy cues, and even feeding windows, which are in the eat play sleep routine. I’ve always felt that learning your babies feeding windows can rule out lots of things. If you keep your baby fed, you alleviate so many questions. I have a brother who always blames hunger for babies crying and I almost never blame hunger, it’s usually tiredness.
We found very quickly that my third had to be on his tummy to sleep. By the time I discovered this, he was strong enough to list his head significantly and so it worked out rather well.
Nobody send me hate mail. Please and thanks 😉
Soooooo good to hear that another momma has gone through such a terrible time trying to get their babe to sleep. Had succchhh a tough time with my first as well - refusing to sleep, taking forever to actually fall asleep and stay asleep. Super traumatic.
Love you guys!! You inspire me to work to be a better mother and to try to live a more fulfilling life. Thank you for posting such positive content.!
Love the honor you've given your littles in your different approaches 💞. To me, that just speaks volumes above any advice and method. 😭😘 It's a wisdom and intuition in knowing what your child needs, what you need👐. I also needed the reminder that routine is important through all of it. And then, I'm with ya on wanting my baby to be able to fall asleep different places!....honestly having my baby trained as a great stroller-napper has greatly, GREATLY helped my postpartum as I got into a walking routine while she naps!
I understand how desperate you must have been with your first child. But still I think that your natural approach was actually a good one. Kids need to learn to sleep but they do not need to be trained. My both boys have almost never napped by themselves. They usually nap in the carrier or in my arms. It was hard with the first one because I thought it must be wrong, other people's babies nap in their bed but my wouldn't. I just accepted that this is what my baby needs to feel safe and it was much easier with the 2nd. However I was lucky enough to have 15 month of maternity leave and when my son went to Kindergarten he immediately slept on his own with no problem. Kids do sleep eventually and some sleep better and easier than others. I just wish that mothers would have the support to have babies sleep naturally.
I watched this video when I was 9 months pregnant in preparation for baby. Then my baby was a great sleeper right off the bat so I forgot about it. Now here I am watching it again with my 4 month old son sleeping on me because we’ve hit the 3-4 month sleep regression and are now in that place of desperation 🤦🏼♀️ Thanks for making this video ❤
Also, welldone on the "be nice" message. I get that sleep, and how, as parents, we approach our babies sleep, is a sensitive subject. But I left a WhatsApp group I was a part of as other parents tore apart a lady who was desperately struggling with her babies sleep, she needed kindness, and helpful advice, and they made her feel even worse for asking what she should do. The sad thing was that I don't think they even realised what they had done, as they didn't acknowledge her question, jusr had a conversation among themselves on the group about it. We don't realise the impact that our words can have on people. So, thank you for reminding all of the "be kind" message. I loved the video x
Your videos are so inspiring and helpful! I admire you so much as a mother. Thank you for giving me permission to just listen to my instincts as a mom, this is exactly what I needed to hear.
Wishing you the best with baby #4, I’m so excited for you💕
I needed to hear that so much about when they are done breastfeeding, I really want my 12 month old to decide when he’s ready and hopefully then sleep through. Really valuable to hear your experiences, thank you!
Thank you Delilah. I have been watching you for years yet I hadn’t given my entire life to the Lord until about three years ago. Your videos even the mundane ones and these little gems are always a blessing to me. I see how I am not alone in motherhood and find comfort in your days and words. Thank you for sharing your wisdom God shares with you and your thoughtfulness! God bless you richly and more abundantly! Ps my daughters name is Delilah and they love watching the videos with me lol!
I've nursed both my daughters and have always nursed to sleep. My first was harder to settle once she started not falling asleep so we did a gentle sleep train. With my second (2 under 2) we did like you said with your third and just naturally happened when I couldn't get there straight away because I was dealing with the other. I've always attended to her and since she was about 9 months or so she would be ok going down awake after I nursed her and she happened to not fall asleep. She knows that if she needs me ill be there. So at 15 months if she wakes I'll nurse her. She sleeps through maybe 2-3 a week currently x
This video is an invaluable resource on child sleep. Thank you. ❤
First time mama here and trying to figure out this whole thing! Thanks for this type of videos and sharing your own experience, you’re such a blessing for my motherhood journey
I love seeing the evolution of the sleep ❤ it gives me hope for our next baby/babies ❤ I just wanted to share some resources from sleep, experts, that support nursing to sleep or just supporting your baby to sleep because I know there’s not many out there! Raised to flourish and hey sleepy baby! ❤
I used to rock my baby to sleep. But when he turned 1 year old, he became quite heavy. I became desperate, my back amd arms really hurt from the rocking (30-60 minutes every time). Then the situation solved itself... I just tried something new for a change...after nursing him on the nursing pillow, I give him his soother, hold his hand and cuddle him and he falls asleep... then I carry him to his crib... my back and arms are really thankful. Just dont be set in your ways and dont be afraid to try different methods and ideas with your child... as long as youre calm and happy, your baby will be too...❤
The exact video I needed at the exact right time - the Holy Spirit for sure guided you in this one! Thank you!
My son (8 months) sounds a lot like Eloise. He is not a sleeper 😵💫 bed sharing has saved our life truthfully (following Safe sleep 7). He will periodically sleeps through the night but most nights he’s up 7-8 times. I am so exhausted. This gives me hope that it won’t always be this way. For about 6 months he was up every. Single. Hour.
Love this parenting video 🤍
Solidarity! My son was up every hour from 4 to 6 months. I don't know how I survived!
My 9m old son is the exact same way. It’s so exhausting and draining, im pregnant again with baby #2 and I just want sleep😩
Thank you for this video! My son is 16 months old and it's been a rough couple months of teething, sickness, and busy social events! He is still waking up for night feeds, and since we are in a one bedroom apartment, he is still in the room with us, in his own crib. He is almost fighting sleep, or struggling to go back to sleep for whatever reason! Maybe teething, or too energized. And the struggle is wearing my patience thin, I'm sorry to say. I feel like I'm stumbling around in the dark, hoping something, anything will work. Feels like every night, every day is different. This makes me think I need a better routine and schedule that I stick to throughout the day and night. It has NEVER been a strong suit of mine. So that's what I'm aspiring to and encouraged to do in this video. Thank you!!
Love your honesty and confidence in this video :)
Can you do a video sharing your experience with weaning from breastfeeding in general?
Thanks so much for sharing your baby sleep stories! Loved listening through.
I think the first is the hardest child since you are learning everything. My firstborn would NOT go to sleep once we put him in his own room when he was about 18-20 months-ish old. He would NOT fall asleep unless we were in view, even if in the hallway outside of the room. When we thought he was finally asleep, he'd be upset to not see us there anymore. It was really hard to deal with because my first two are 22 months apart too. When we did try to let him cry it out. . .it didn't work at all. Plus our landlord was downstairs right under the bedroom, so we needed to find another way to take care of that situation. I have never done that since. Our second child, after switching him out of his room after six months, we would just rub his back and it helped that his big brother was in the same room as him, so he would fall asleep much more easily. The firstborn appreciated having someone in the room with him too, so he became easier to put into bed as well.
Definitely routines help.
I think that every child and method works differently person to person. :)
Thank you for making this! Kinda wish you were more specific on some points. As a first time mom I’m struggling getting my 6 month old to sleep on his own and not wake up every hour at night. For example, you stressed drowsy but awake…but what do you do if baby starting crying/screaming? Do you let him cry? For how long? When you said you practice letting William sleep anywhere like the bed, bassinet, crib…how did you get him to fall asleep in those space? Did you just put him down and he fell asleep on his own? What if he stared crying? Did soothe him?
Love your insight. We had great sleepers for our first two children but our third who is 7 months old has been the most difficult sleeper. Your experiences are comforting and encouraging. Thank you!
Delilah, thank you so much for sharing. Sleep has been a nonstop struggle for me with my son, and I made so many mistakes like you described with Eloise because I had no idea about sleep cues, wake windows, etc. What you did with your first sounds a lot like the Ferber method. We had to take a gentler approach (shush pat/pupd) because Ferber made him distraught, but at 11 months he is doing so much better. He still nurses once or twice a night but puts himself back to sleep afterwards, and we cosleep when he wakes a second time around 4 or 5, but he is in his cot until then. I hope he'll naturally wean himself at some point as you describe.
I'll add that you are very brave going through it all over again with a second, third and now fourth. I'm so traumatised by the sleeping struggles with my first that even now that I am armed with knowledge and experience, I am terrified to do it a second time.
This is such a timely video, thank you so much for sharing your tips! My 8 month old has been sleeping so poorly over the past 2 months, so we're looking forward to trying a few new things. Also, thanks for sharing your experience with CIO. I feel like even mentioning it in a lot of spaces brings backlash, but it's so refreshing to hear a positive story!
Hi Delilah,
I'm a 59yr old mom and wish I had half the knowledge that you have! Thanks so much for your time, wisdom and sharing of your beautiful family!
I'm going to save this for my daughter who is planning on starting a family at the end of the year.
Hugs,
Rachele~
My child refused everything but cosleeping and it's as frowned upon where I live as in the US and Canada. I was terrified that he would die, but I read up on the research and how to do it safely (safe sleep 7 and the infant sleep book by McKenna) and we coslept. When he was about 15 months we moved him to his own room (with a big, ordinary bed) and took turns sleeping there with him. And gradually he's been able to sleep longer stretches alone. That worked for us.
@@girlwithakite Well, the recommendations here is to have the baby in therír own sleeping space for the first three months, and then it's ok to cosleep. It is considered very dangerous, yes, although if you read up on the research it is really not that black and white. I would have loved to have him in his crib but he just refused. And he woke up every two hours to nurse until he was weaned so that way I got at least some sleep.
Edited to add: If you look at the research there's a correlation between cosleeping (in a bed) and an increased risk for SIDS, but the available research can't say anything about possible causation. Note that this is specifically about cosleeping in a bed, ie. on a flat surface, and not in a sofa or chair (that is indeed dangerous).
Wonderful video, new subscriber here ✨, I have 8 children and I couldn't have said anything better, I have nothing to add! Hugs to all the momma's who are sleep deprived, and many blessings to you and your beautiful family.
I made mistakes with my eldest. I would stand by the dishwasher to try and get her to sleep, sit in complete silence and darkness hoping to keep her asleep, and didn’t have a routine in the first few months except breastfeeding on demand. I found it so hard. She would wake in the night, not crying just awake, (probably from going down too early) and I would cry because I didn’t know what she wanted. I was sleep deprived and suffering from possible postpartum depression (not diagnosed)
Then we did the bath-fed-bed routine from early on and found that it worked really well. Mine were breastfed on demand, and were good with the sleep cues. I continued this routine with my second child, and I still do this now (switched up to drink story bed now they’re older) and sit with them until they fall asleep. This is so they know I’m there and feel secure. It only takes 10 minutes nowadays, and they sleep through unless they’re ill. (They are almost 7 and 5)
Do what is best for you and baby, completely agree. ❤
This is really helpful! I am not a mother yet, although I think this information will help me in the future. Though I am currently a full-time nanny for a one year old, and I have had a hard time putting her down for a nap in her pram (I have to walk her to sleep because she doesn’t have a cot). I think getting to know her sleepy cues and putting her down right away will be a game changer! Thank you Delilah!
This could not have been posted at a better time! Thank you, Delilah 💕
Sleep training gets so much unfair hate. I truly think I would have gone insane if we hadn’t sleep trained. The lack of sleep is truly dangerous at times. Co-sleeping didn’t work for me because I found it to be SO uncomfortable that I still wasn’t able to sleep. Plus it led to my baby *literally* being on my boob the entire night which can be bad for baby’s teeth, tummy, and MY mental health/back. We sleep trained around 7 months (we did the pick up/put down method) and she was sleeping 10 hours through the night within about a month. My mental health improved DRASTICALLY.
Thank you for this and encouraging us all going through these stages in motherhood. I have 4 more weeks until my 2nd boy is born and I have been so worried thinking of a new routine and what will work with my newborn and 3 year old. It took a long time for my 1st to sleep through the night and remembering all those 45+ min rocking sessions just to try to put him back to sleep has been giving me tons of anxiety. You helped give a calm that was much needed.
Thank you for this! It’s so good to hear this! I went through the same thing with my second child we were desperate at 4 months. Once we implemented similar things it changed for the better!
We went through this too, once I learned that my daughter was better off getting herself to sleep than me holding her and rocking her to sleep, it was a game changer. Especially once she was in her own crib, she slept through the night consistently!
Thank you so much! I'm engaged currently and going to be married this summer, and as I've struggled with sleep as a single person and seen the horrible affects it has had on me mentally, I've started to grow anxious about what it will be like when we start having babies. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!! I definitely took notes on this video for the future :)
i’ve been BINGEING your content recently your channel is soo wholesome
I have searched far and wide for sleep advice! This is the best video I have found. As a first time mom, it’s great to feel not alone and hopeful. Definitely watch the whole video!
I‘m SOOO thankful for this video! 😭 just the right time!
My daughter (7 month) only sleeps half an hour every nap (3 times a day) since month 5. So that makes it difficult to stick to a routine as eating and sleeping often collide. I already tried to sneak into her room to calm her before she wakes up, so that she finds her way into the next sleep cycle. But unfortunately she is awake right away..
but I really wanna give the cry it out method another chance. I tried it once and it really worked, but then I somehow stopped being as consequent as I was at the beginning and with the 4th month the sleep regression really hit. Ever since then sleeping is such a big problem. Greetings from Germany 🩷
Me watching this while my kid is currently refusing his nap 😩 timely to say the least!
Delilah you are so right, i pray the good Lord give you a safe and speedy Delivery ❤❤❤
My 2 year old cosleeps and breastfeeds on demand. Today She took her first nap on her own ever except in the carseat today and im happy but sad. My one and only❤
My two kids cried even when they were with me at night so i did cio. Best decision we ever made. They slept through by night 3 and have ever since.
Thank you for this video!
For us this absolutely didn't work. I have a very temperamental daughter, and if we put her down for even a minute she would cry as if the world was falling apart. Like, soul-crushing crying. So during the day she was also not often on the floor/pack 'n play by herself. I've tried to let her cry for just a little bit, but it was so soul crushing to me that it would have become a trauma if I would have pushed through. I've seen quite some other baby's by now, and I'm quite confident that it was not me, but really the character of my daughter to not want to lie or sit anywhere without me. So when she was little I carried her in the wrap A LOT and she also fell asleep in the wrap, wherever we were. The first three weeks we were sleep deprived, because every time we put her in the co-sleeper she would wake up again and everything (feeding, soothing, rocking) started all over again. At three weeks old I read into safe co-sleeping, with bed sharing. And from that week everything got SO much better. Even though she woke up like 8-10 times in the night, we felt totally rested the next day. She woke up, searched for the boob, drunk, and safely fell asleep again. Thanks to the hormones released during breastfeeding, I was often already asleep before she finished drinking. She is now 1,5 years old. At day time, she falls asleep in the stroller during a walk, or in bed when I feed her to sleep (and then roll away). We bought another full person sized bed and put it next to our bed, so we now have a three person bed. She still sleeps with us in the bed and feeds about 4-5 times a night. But still, me and my husband feel rested when we wake up in the morning, and to us that has always been the most important thing. (And yes, we still find our ways to make our marriage work, if you know what I mean... 😉 ) And as Delilah says, co-sleeping with your child can be SO lovely, to snuggle up to that small warm body in your bed. It does require a mind shift change, but I would definitely do it all over again the same way when our second child arrives.
This is probably the best sleep advice I've seen out there!!
I was totally asking about how you sleep trained your babies on one of your recent vlogs. I am so thankful you made this video. I used to have my 3 year old and my 9 month old in the same room as me (my husband in his office). My son used to wake up for a night time feed (2am to 4am ish) and so we went a week without giving the feed and he dropped it. Last weekend my husband and I switched bedrooms with the kids and introduced a pacifier only at night and it made a huge difference. We did a gentle sleep trained method. We now have our master bedroom and an adorable kid I bedroom. : ) If he wakes at night , I do get up and try to put the pacifier by hand, not directly give it to him so he learned to 'find it'. I think he will learn to find it himself very soon. If he is sitting up in the middle of the night, I gently bring him down to his tummy ( he likes to sleep this way) and give him the pacifier.
My daughter sounds just like Eloise. My daughter was a nightmare to try and to sleep train. We did cry it out for 6 months with no improvement. It was horrible. She did learn how to nap fantastically though because of sleep training, tired queues, and schedules. WE didn't know what we were doing and she could not self-soothe. After 6 ish months, I decided to co-sleep. It worked with her and it worked for me. She is now almost 3 and is happily sleeping in her own bed with her brother in the crib. Sleep training is like you said, very different with every kid.
11:30 I 1000% agree! I cannot preach the sound machine enough for “struggling” mommies/parents!
Thanks so much for this video! I agree that we can figure out what works best for us and our own babies because they are all so different. A mixture of different methods is totally okay, too! Sometimes we'd be at our wits end and let them cry for a bit, sometimes I'd nurse to sleep and love it. Also, babies change and develop and, consequently, their needs change, too! We can always change our minds after making a decision. We're all just trying to stay sane and love our kids and that's what brings us all to channels like yours. If we're researching and care that much, then we're all doing a good job. :)
Breastfeeding doesn’t have to stop when the baby or toddler is sleeping through the night. My son was mostly sleeping through from about a year but for the next four months or so he would breastfeed when he came in with me for a cuddle first thing in the morning. That was the last feed to go.
Ur so inspiring love how u look at life n how genuine u are ty for sharing girl
I was firmly against CIO until I had an almost 3 year old who needed me to lay next to her to fall asleep, which took up to 3-4 hours some nights-all while pregnant and nursing my 1 year old.
I was amazed when we tried the CIO method. We went from extremely sleep deprived and on the verge of depression to sleeping almost through the night within one week! My baby would sometimes cry for hours as I tried to get her to sleep, but with CIO she would fall asleep so fast. I realized I was DISTRACTING her from falling asleep and staying asleep. She needed to be alone to soothe herself so she could sleep well. After my 3rd & 4th were of the age that we felt they were old enough to sleep train (usually when they dropped nighttime feeds) we did and we have no regrets!
I would also add that an appropriate daytime schedule really helps with sleep training. My son sleeps terribly at night if he needs even 15 more minutes of wake time during the day and doesn't get it.
Thank you! So tired…and baby girl is 2 weeks old! We will get there, but I’m single, so there’s isn’t anyone to give me breaks. This gave me some starting places to work on, though trying to figure out a routine with a two week old feels daunting!
Hang in there Mama. You are not alone.❤
Hi Delilah! Thank you for this video! It's come up at the perfect time as a first time mama 🤍 have a lovely day!