Security Guard Transforms into Unstoppable Stalker After Three Dates | Clare Bernal Case Analysis

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ม.ค. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 679

  • @shellyharry8189
    @shellyharry8189 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    The police didn't let Claire down, the court did. He never should've been let out on bail or back into the country

  • @Robin-xt7yo
    @Robin-xt7yo ปีที่แล้ว +326

    Too bad they let him out on bail. And too bad he was allowed back into England. Poor Clare. The system failed her.

    • @Christina-sf4py
      @Christina-sf4py ปีที่แล้ว +9

      It fails alot because it goes on previous record not on current escalation of behaviour. So there is virtually no protection for the victim UNTIL harm or death actually occurs. I could be wrong as I'm not an expert on law in this situation, and it's just a guess from my observation.

    • @janecoe9407
      @janecoe9407 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      i would think they woukd keep him in jail or send him back to slovakia.

    • @Christina-sf4py
      @Christina-sf4py ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@janecoe9407 that would require effort, application of common sense in law and enforcement communities...fat chance of that.

    • @LBdreamin
      @LBdreamin ปีที่แล้ว

      My ex gf got treated with the lightest hands of the US criminal justice system.
      She broke into a new gf’s house and smashed up her kitchen. She broke into my parents’ house and caused a huge scene. She showed up at my work, caused a scene, and got me fired. She hacked my iCloud, impersonated me, and harassed friends, family, and employers (and got me fired ,
      again).
      I had loads of evidence, and the courts didn’t do anything. They kept letting her out and eventually dropped all the charges.
      A couple times during the process officers of the court told me that I need to learn how to keep my woman in line. Friends, family, and employers were pissed at me for vectoring this crazy woman into their life. It was terrible.
      It only went away bc I moved half way across the country and dropped off all social media. I had to go on the run from her and completely change my life in order to shake her. Til this day, she still tries to contact friends, family, and former employers to try to figure out where I am.
      The courts also asked what I did to her. Well, we were planning on getting married. Then I had a two year cancer battle. My ex supported me for six months but then started lying and cheating on me. That’s when I broke up with her and all the stalking, harassing, and abuse started. If I knew how bad it was gonna get, especially with no real accountability for her at the end of it, then I really wish I would’ve have let her keep cheating and then snuck away.
      Unfortunately, I thought the courts could help, but they kinda made the situation worse and then nothing really happened to her.
      She’s highly manipulative, wanted to punish me for breaking up
      with her for cheating on me while I was dying, and was always dead set on not facing any accountability for her actions. And ultimately, she was successful.
      I lost so much and had to move. All for the state to drag their feet and then eventually drop the charges. Her case got passed around to a couple DAs. Everyone of them was a woman. I don’t know if that had any bearing on the situation, but they definitely didn’t use their teeth at all, and victim blamed, with their failed attempt at prosecuting her.

    • @AnnaBelll.e
      @AnnaBelll.e ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Absolutely they completely failed her. Poor Claire.

  • @ST-rj8iu
    @ST-rj8iu ปีที่แล้ว +490

    A restraining order would have not stopped him considering he offed himself. If you are at that point, legal action means nothing...

    • @thezyklonbeast
      @thezyklonbeast ปีที่แล้ว +80

      Shocking that it's such a common belief that a simple piece of paper would ever do anything to stop an unhinged stalker?

    • @chartroy
      @chartroy ปีที่แล้ว +54

      I had to get one once and, believe me, they are worthless

    • @charisselinnell-morton4137
      @charisselinnell-morton4137 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      @@chartroyThey are completely useless. It didn’t even make a dent with my case in fact it made it worse.😢

    • @mr.sinjin-smyth
      @mr.sinjin-smyth ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Restraining order doesn't work unless there's visible police presence to enforce it. Why don't they use unmarked vehicles to keep an eye on volatile individuals for a certain period of time to diffuse a potentially dangerous situation? Then use surveillance records, CCTV, cell phone records and photos with a warrant to interrogate them on what they're up to.

    • @angelbeauty8
      @angelbeauty8 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      ​@@mr.sinjin-smythgood question.
      I really hope they change it and that they enforce your great suggestions.
      Stalking is abuse and police can easily catch them with ALL the camera's there are around .

  • @TheFakeyCakeMaker
    @TheFakeyCakeMaker ปีที่แล้ว +193

    Sick of this. As soon as stalking is identified, escalation should be assumed and action taken.

    • @eadweard.
      @eadweard. ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Taken by who, and on what legal basis?

    • @lmiller1413
      @lmiller1413 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Me too. Sick of it.

    • @tdesq.2463
      @tdesq.2463 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I agree that once certain lines (that decent Human Beings would never even consider crossing) are crossed, we should acknowledge that we're dealing with an unknown quantity (a wildcard), and cannot safely presume against anything. In such situation, we should not be held (legally or otherwise) to be able to determine the course of the creep's conduct going forward, and at what point he will cease & desist ... or what line
      he will not cross ... if any.
      That's why I think that once someone crosses a certain line, he is the one who should be held to know that he has rendered himself open to justifiable incapacitation.
      ~TD, Boston

    • @charlesterrizzi8311
      @charlesterrizzi8311 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Criminal activity should be assumed? I think the lesson is don’t enter into relationships lightly, fatal attraction happens.

    • @troy3456789
      @troy3456789 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      As the story goes, you are always your own first responder. The cops cannot be everywhere

  • @AMYBIERHAUS
    @AMYBIERHAUS ปีที่แล้ว +101

    If you hear, "If I can't have you, then nobody will", RUN FOR YOUR VERY LIFE!!! They mean it! 😱

    • @AMYBIERHAUS
      @AMYBIERHAUS 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@wademyers6598 My point exactly!

    • @nicolejttmom6061
      @nicolejttmom6061 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@wademyers6598you must be a really kind and easy going person. Show me one man on planet Earth who would reject a woman for her using all caps.

    • @juanf5391
      @juanf5391 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      That's what I say to the last chocolate chip cookie in the package.

  • @VeeLondon1449
    @VeeLondon1449 ปีที่แล้ว +350

    Michael was 30 years old, going through a divorce. I am curious to know how Michael’s wife was able to separate/divorce herself from him. And keep herself safe! Did his ex escape him. And due to her leaving him. Did, Clare become a substitute/focus for his anger/obsession! Incredibly sad case. Clare’s life was only just beginning. EDIT: Michael’s now ex wife still lives in Slovakia she never came to the UK with him. She left him with the support of her family. After years of abuse. Due to her father and family protection, Michael stayed away.

    • @agostinodublino1387
      @agostinodublino1387 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      maybe his wife was no more "desirable", and useful for his ego. A younger, successful new woman was more attractive to fulfil his fantasies

    • @KatG-vw4db
      @KatG-vw4db ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Maybe he left his wife so there was no animosity. Maybe he found another romantic interest and therefore his wife wasn't stalked

    • @tommccormick9290
      @tommccormick9290 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      I'm inclined to think his wife ceased being sexually attractive to him so it was no real loss nor a blow to his ego.

    • @chartroy
      @chartroy ปีที่แล้ว +31

      I think you are onto something….he likely viewed her as a surrogate and punished her in leu of his exwife

    • @ethorii
      @ethorii ปีที่แล้ว +3

      If he didn't want her anymore why would he stalk her?

  • @xChaosReignsx
    @xChaosReignsx ปีที่แล้ว +15

    “Like the stalker is so awkward that even being associated with them becomes embarrassing.”
    Facts right there thanks for pointing that out I have felt this second hand embarrassment and I feel less alone now lol

  • @Josue_Cristobal
    @Josue_Cristobal ปีที่แล้ว +55

    Hey Dr. D, have you ever thought about making a video analyzing the case of Blair Adams? He was a Canadian who withdrew all his money, traveled to Seattle, bought a plane ticket to Germany, then switched it to Washington, DC, and then drove to Knoxville where he was discovered naked and beaten to death in a parking lot. No one knows who was after him or what exactly happened. It’s a pretty fascinating case.

  • @TheMiccoliGroup
    @TheMiccoliGroup ปีที่แล้ว +170

    Covering more info/profile of what makes a stalker, why they do it and what a victim can do to protect themselves would be greatly appreciated.

    • @gigi9301
      @gigi9301 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Dr Grande did mention that she was embarassed to take a stand early on and just tell him to get lost. Seemed as though she felt both embarassed by him and sorry for him at the same time, which worked to his advantage. For example, she had him over to her place, then walked him to the train station, correct?

    • @Sanakudou
      @Sanakudou ปีที่แล้ว +22

      I definitely think there’d be a lot of value in a video covering that!
      From what I understand, habitual stalkers are typically addicted to the process of enmeshment with their victim, so you can sometimes successfully avert being their target of obsession by either directly or indirectly depriving them of means to do that. Basically, if they can’t voyeuristically learn about/observe your life online via social media (don’t have publicly accessible photo galleries) or find out the IRL locations to use for a stakeout (turn geo tagging off social media posts and don’t publicly post them in your profile or verbally divulge specific home/work/study locations in the first few months of dating someone), without these things you’re an inadequate source to satiate their addiction to involuntary stalker-victim enmeshment, which can result in them disengaging to look for a more compatible victim.
      Once that one-sides enmeshment has happened, they’re extremely dangerous and difficult to ever get rid of. Women should be especially wary of eroding their boundaries to men out of pity. Your home address is one of the most important things to guard, do not ever divulge it. Anyone who doesn’t respect that boundary is a walking red flag and you should cut all communication with them. Waiting too long and allowing them the opportunity to fixate on you will be to your own detriment.
      Don’t have your empathetic nature weaponised against you, especially if they have signs of mental illness. Murder-su*cides are an all too common occurrence for unwell, nihilistic men, particularly when they’ve come to resent and blame women for their misery. You’re not paranoid or prejudice to have a rule never to date or befriend unwell men. Self preservation must always take precedence.

    • @gigi9301
      @gigi9301 ปีที่แล้ว

      @JohnJKelly-of4dcno worries! have a great week!

    • @audreycasassa1683
      @audreycasassa1683 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Agree! This is such valuable info. Just to make people aware of the warning signs so they have

    • @audreycasassa1683
      @audreycasassa1683 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Edit🙃. . . a chance to nip it before it escalates.

  • @brendanquinn6894
    @brendanquinn6894 ปีที่แล้ว +73

    When your stalker threatens to kill you, you tend to realize that things are not going so well.

    • @MelindaMc
      @MelindaMc ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Sadly, that made me laugh.

    • @GS-zc4sk
      @GS-zc4sk ปีที่แล้ว

      That's DEFCON 01 in terms of red flag guidelines.

    • @Just...Peachy
      @Just...Peachy 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      True. I much prefer my stalkers to keep it civil 😂

  • @PrecociousFriand
    @PrecociousFriand ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I hope they fired all the security staff who were asked not to let him enter the store too. I just SMH at the multiple moments of incompetence and stupidity in this case.

  • @Jeanninecomeau
    @Jeanninecomeau ปีที่แล้ว +62

    I think people get afraid to escalate a situation by reporting it as well.

    • @CandidLy1
      @CandidLy1 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yes, obviously it only bought her a little time and much more anger from the stalker

    • @Jeanninecomeau
      @Jeanninecomeau ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@CandidLy1 I've had a couple of stalkers and they do take you hostage for a few years mentally, but they get bored and move on. Although, I'm sure they check in on what you're doing now occasionally.

    • @adotintheshark4848
      @adotintheshark4848 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      the stalker knows this. That's why the victim has to report it and tell the police about any and all threats made by the stalker.

  • @jenniferthompson6280
    @jenniferthompson6280 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    the only way i was able to rid of my stalker was to find a guy friend that stood up to him, after he threatened to beat his ass , he left me alone..these men are usually cowards

    • @melfreemans
      @melfreemans 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I had one too. But I joined the military and for some reason he wasn't interested in stalking a woman with an AR 15. Interesting when a woman can defend herself or has someone willing to defend her how they loose interest! But here's something weird ...he turned up at my parents house 25 years later asking about me! They told him I lived far away. I actually was less than half a mile. I think he's since passed away from drugs and alcohol.

    • @niniyen1362
      @niniyen1362 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Your guy friend was lucky, your stalker didn't somehow get back to him.

  • @pyry1948
    @pyry1948 ปีที่แล้ว +116

    Airport security removes my medical scalpel but this guy was allowed to just show up with a Luger pistol???

    • @scottdavidson526
      @scottdavidson526 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Ikr. How did he get through security

    • @canileaveitblank1476
      @canileaveitblank1476 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      He didn’t fly.

    • @michaelperez9966
      @michaelperez9966 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I believe he entered Britain by train. He also entered Britain from another European Union country, so he wouldn’t have had to go through customs.

    • @scottdavidson526
      @scottdavidson526 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@michaelperez9966 That makes sense. I was wondering how he was able to get through security at Heathrow without having his weapon detected.

    • @Johnjj-bf8pw
      @Johnjj-bf8pw 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@michaelperez9966Wrong,The UK was never a Schengen zone country,customs and pass control always existed.

  • @mario-qi3yw
    @mario-qi3yw ปีที่แล้ว +18

    The laws and monitoring of stalkers is way too lenient and often ends up with victim dead. Thank you Dr Grande for reviewing this case.

  • @viviansytsui
    @viviansytsui ปีที่แล้ว +133

    She did what she was supposed to and it still ended like this... My goodness. that's just so sad.

    • @MsQ275
      @MsQ275 ปีที่แล้ว

      Dating for "casual" connection was her first mistake. Read between the lines and don't repeat her mistakes.
      Don't put yourself in sketchy positions. Once you have put yourself in a bad position, things can go sideways, quickly.
      We need to teach all young women this instead of the liberated garbage we currently force on them.

    • @e_i_e_i_bro
      @e_i_e_i_bro ปีที่แล้ว +18

      ​@@MsQ275women are not to be blamed for the male propensity to stalk and be violent. End of.

    • @mongoose6685
      @mongoose6685 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ​@e_i_e_i_bro What type of man goes outside of their marriage? The crooked ones... she chose a low quality man.

    • @jdlamb4212
      @jdlamb4212 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@e_i_e_i_broblamed no, but they need to be cautious and knowledgeable of the risks. It's not like stalkers are going to stop out of the goodness of their hearts.

    • @whittenaw
      @whittenaw ปีที่แล้ว +8

      He would have chosen her regardless. Stop blaming her for his actions! ​@@mongoose6685

  • @Kari.F.
    @Kari.F. ปีที่แล้ว +53

    Slovakia the UK were both members of the EU at the time this happened. Traveling freely between countries is the EU citizen's right. That means that their luggage isn't checked on the border other than in rare and random controls. He couldn't have bought the gun in the UK, but bringing one in to the UK that he already owned would have been impossible for the UK to prevent. Especially since he wasn't convicted of anything yet at that time. The fact is that the laws need to allow firmer action, not that the policeman did a poor job with the laws he had to work with. The dangers of stalkers is continuously underrated. A piece of paper can't protect the lives of people who are being stalked by people who have the potential for getting really violent. Mine was more stupid than violent. He thought that if he kept me scared, I'd want to move in with him so he could protect me from the stalking. 🥴 I didn't know him, so I didn't know what he had the potential for. It was scary for a few years. The most romantic thing that ever happened between us was a couple of handshakes as we were leaving group meetings. And he was married, so I don't know how he thought the "moving in with him" part work work... He eventually moved far away, and I hope he got some therapy. If not, he's likely stalking some other random woman. It's been mant years, but I still don't answer the phone if I don't know the number, and the adrenaline kicks in if someone knocks on my door. It changed who I am, and not in a good way.

    • @Afrinaturality
      @Afrinaturality ปีที่แล้ว +9

      That's untrue about the luggage. EU membership provided freedom of movement, but that didn't mean your luggage wasn't checked.

    • @Kari.F.
      @Kari.F. ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@Afrinaturality So EVERY passenger on EVERY train (or car) that arrives in any country in the EU from another EU country will have their luggage thoroughly searched? A) That's not humanly possible, and B) I live in Europe and have traveled to and from other EU countries by ferry, train and car more times than I can remember, and I haven't had my luggage rummaged through one time yet. How come, if you're right? They always check luggage with x-ray and persons with a metal detector wand when we travel by PLANE, but that's irrelevant since this guy arrived by TRAIN. If every single passenger entering an EU country by train or car has to go through a luggage and person check, he would have been stopped, wouldn't he?

    • @Afrinaturality
      @Afrinaturality ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Kari.F. Ah, ok. I stand corrected.

    • @evelynwaugh4053
      @evelynwaugh4053 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Agree. A protection order's purpose isn't really to protect (sadly, it isn't magic), but rather to enable law enforcement to act as the court directs to separate the involved parties. Otherwise it's a 'he says, she says' situation and LE can spend a lot of time trying to sort out the parties' statements, and still get it wrong.

    • @michellel564
      @michellel564 ปีที่แล้ว

      Seriously?!! Do they check now? It doesn't go through metal detectors? 😳😳 I thought England didn't allow firearms except for like hunting rifles..

  • @iseeeverything
    @iseeeverything 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    "The judge ordered him to not come in contact with her and let him go on bail". what could possibly go wrong. he sure has been an upstanding citizen so far.

  • @bigdave1885
    @bigdave1885 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    I remember this being in the news. It was so terrible and frustrating at the same time.

    • @LMoon20
      @LMoon20 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It was awful. It always sticks in my mind this one.

  • @chryssesandchaos
    @chryssesandchaos ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Maybe the police should have psychologists or psychiatrists evaluate people who are accused of stalking, to ensure the safety of the victim and that the stalker would get the help they need. Many people have died because stalking was taken for granted, since the stalker "has no record of violent crimes". BS!

  • @judithhofweber4858
    @judithhofweber4858 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I was shocked when not far from where I live, two women were stalked and murdered within a couple of months of each other this year.
    When I called the police about an incident and they showed up,
    I was shocked how little they knew about domestic violence and needing protection from stalkers.
    This does not bode well for the police.
    It is not okay to not know about stalking.

  • @DallasCrane
    @DallasCrane ปีที่แล้ว +28

    I’ve been in situations where friends were casual about stalkers and people who consistently violated boundaries. It’s a struggle to get them to take the threats seriously and take action to be safe. There’s almost a belief that, by acting against a stalker, you become embroiled in their world and share the guilt and drama of “the situation”. Very difficult to get them to change course.
    10:30 you explain it exactly

  • @Happinosis
    @Happinosis ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I remember this case really well, a news report that Harvey Nicks was on lockdown because of an armed attacker. I had a stalker when I was 19. He used to send me anonymous cards, flowers and mixtapes. He finally made himself known by breaking down our front door. My dad sat on him and my mum called the police. I got a restraining order and never heard from him again. I was so naive at the time, but I shudder to think now of which direction this situation could have taken.

  • @farbeyondfading8697
    @farbeyondfading8697 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Such a sad story, I feel so bad for people that have to deal with this because it can completely alter your life and ruin all feelings of safety. Be safe out there ladies, and if you can, have some sort of self-protection because a restraining order won't stop some of these psychos

  • @master2uall88
    @master2uall88 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Absolutely love these stories that you tell about Psychopathic people analyze they destroy it's just amazing the depth of inhumanity and dehumanization that these Psychopathic evil people do

  • @Survivin2Thrivin
    @Survivin2Thrivin ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Tragic. So sad. My condolences to her family.

  • @kelliearnold8498
    @kelliearnold8498 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Please be careful ladies!!! Great job Doctor Grande!!

  • @sophiaisabelle027
    @sophiaisabelle027 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    We appreciate your dedication and hard work. You'll always have our support.

  • @manewland1
    @manewland1 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Another frustrating case; here's a time when the stalker should never have been released on bail (because he didn't even care about keeping his own life). Unfortunately, predicting the behaviour of someone so unreasonable is impossible. Thanks, as always, Dr. Grande, for another thoughtful video (I especially appreciated the categorization and analysis of the different types of stalkers at the end).

  • @tdesq.2463
    @tdesq.2463 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The "Embarrassment Dynamic" is quite interesting.
    Tragic ... just absolutely tragic.
    Thanks, Dr. Grande.
    Good work!
    ~TD, Boston

  • @themajesticmagnificent386
    @themajesticmagnificent386 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I’m not saying all security guards are weird,just the ones I’ve met are..Great video and thank you Doctor Grande.!🇬🇧🇺🇸👍

  • @ds7900
    @ds7900 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Unfortunately, the only way to stop the Michaels out there is too keep them locked up for a very long time. Anything short of that will end in tragedy.

  • @JudiKerestan
    @JudiKerestan ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Claire was way too trusting of this man..very sad, Tell him to get an uber and a hotel!!! She kept giving in and he took advantage of that.

  • @crownjewel832
    @crownjewel832 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Thanks for another excellent video/breakdown! I so wish she would have followed her instincts and declined additional dates. It’s apparent that she was feeling uneasy early on. She was a young, kind lady just trying to be polite…. He was a menace to society!

  • @Chancer
    @Chancer ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Even today there's very little protection against stalking in the UK.

  • @kellykane7586
    @kellykane7586 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    There has been a real uptick in stalking behaviors as of recently. I myself didn't realize how devastating this can be on the victim. Please don't make the mistake of underestimating your enemy because these types of cases are becoming more and more frequent.
    RIP Claire

    • @eadweard.
      @eadweard. ปีที่แล้ว +1

      More stalking recently? Where did you learn this?

    • @miriamllamas224
      @miriamllamas224 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@eadweard.Dr Grande covered a similar case which took place in the US. The end result? A gun shot to the head. And these are the extreme cases.

    • @Jimmy911ism
      @Jimmy911ism ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Could be due to tactics like ghosting. I think women need to tell men it's over - though in this case she did.

  • @Charlotte66666
    @Charlotte66666 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    This was a horrendous case here in England 🙁

  • @marlinfisher2529
    @marlinfisher2529 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    yes many thanks for your passionate hard work = we all appreciate you so

  • @TomTheOwl68
    @TomTheOwl68 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I've spent 4 days or so listening to pretty much all your video's.
    There's a couple of subjects that I find you are quite narrow minded about but other than that, your analysis is spot on, fair for the most part although you are blatantly obvious when you don't like someone which I guess is fair enough considering it's your channel and video's. I know quite a bit about mental health but I've learnt even more from you.
    I was surprised that you have such a high level of insight and understanding in some subjects, so that Kudos to you for the amount of knowledge you have learnt and the research you do into each video. 15 minutes of one of your videos often teaches me far more than an hour of mumbo jumbo from others.
    Even your jokes have grown on me, some actually make me literally laugh.
    Normally when I listen to someone, I find myself liking them less and less as each video comes and goes but yours I have grown in respect for you. It's kind of a shame I've finished listening to them because it's been informative and enjoyable in a sense of learning and being more understanding myself.
    There have been people that I have really disliked for their crimes but you have shown me more compassion and empathy. To understand is not to excuse. To understand is to have the knowledge to prevent similar crimes in the future. I only wish that was put into practice because often the lesssons to be learnt never are, especially in the case of children.
    It's better to do something and be wrong about abuse than do nothing and a child dies. If you are worried about a child or person do something about it. Don't stand by and let them down, especially children. Children need the help, protection and vigilance of everyone.
    I have now joined your patreon.

    • @scodyt3996
      @scodyt3996 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Hopefully you learn that learnt isn’t a word. 😊

    • @michaeljozwiak25
      @michaeljozwiak25 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@scodyt3996 The commenter could be British. The British use the word “learnt”. Americans use the word, “learned”. I hope you learned something today.

    • @davidroux7987
      @davidroux7987 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I also dislike narrow minded people. A narrow mind is one that thinks differently from me. An open mind is one that agrees with me. That's why I like open minded people.

    • @XYZ-kb3mm
      @XYZ-kb3mm ปีที่แล้ว

      @@davidroux7987 did this false dichotomy make you feel really smart? the only people who believe narrow minded people can’t be categorized are narrow minded people. exposed yourself

    • @Accuface2000
      @Accuface2000 ปีที่แล้ว

      @scodyt3996 - Hopefully you learned that learnt is actually a word in the British vocabulary, Dumbo🤣 There are many English words that are spelt differently in American and British vocabulary, which mean the same thing. Spend time educating yourself rather than trolling on TH-cam, thinking you are smart when you aren't. Getting 200 likes on social media doesn't mean you are correct or knowledgeable. I have seen many dumb comments whereby people convince themselves they are right because of 200 likes.

  • @commonsense2680
    @commonsense2680 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    What a sad story. From what I have understood, people like Michael will never stop harassing and will escalate to physical harm. So, women should stay away from this type. You can tell after 1 date because this type is usually short tempered, rude, condescending, etc. Most women just make excuses when they see this behavior, but you have to stop yourself, you see the red flags, follow them and your instincts don't fall for some guy like this just because you are lonely.

  • @tinareaume7484
    @tinareaume7484 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    A restraining order isn't worth the paper it is printed on. I had one against my X but he came to the house and beat me up again. Here's the kicker; he was the Sheriff of our small county.

  • @samchapmanmakeup
    @samchapmanmakeup ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I worked at Harvey Nichols on the Chanel counter in 2003/2004 but left on maternity in autumn of 2004. I recognise both of them. He was often on bag check as we’d leave the store at night. Always very cold and unfriendly.
    Awful. So terribly sad for Clare and her family.

  • @ronnie_5150
    @ronnie_5150 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It amazes me how courts think that a restraining order and a "promise to stay away" will stop an obsessed stalker.

  • @carlyrennae3963
    @carlyrennae3963 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Yaaaaassss thank you Dr Grande ❤ you're the best !

  • @chilloften
    @chilloften ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Keep self safe ladies. Crazy is one away.

  • @herbstaugen800
    @herbstaugen800 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    This sounds exactly like what happened in the mall when I used to live in Iowa. An obsessed security guard (Alexander M. Kozak) shot an employee (Andrea Farrington) in the back three times. He was super into her, but I think it was when she found out he was already married, she rejected him, and he just went crazy.

  • @richardpaulcaird9192
    @richardpaulcaird9192 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Such a sad case😔, thanks for posting this & focusing on it Dr Grande👍🏻, your keen insights on various cases are always illuminating... 💡🔦

  • @dreamsinthree
    @dreamsinthree ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I didn't know there were various types of stalkers. Very interesting.

  • @Yasser.Osman.A.Z.
    @Yasser.Osman.A.Z. ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hello!! 2 videos in less than 16 hours, that is less than 2 thirds of a day!! The reason?! Holidays season?! 😊
    I am an enthusiastic follower for true crimes, documentaries, analysis, criminal psychology, interrogations, trials.....etc!! I hope nothing is wrong with me, (my ex wife used to tell me I am, hahaha)
    I also, truly & genuinely like & enjoy Dr. Grande's videos, I speak, read, and write 4 languages, including English as well as my native languages, unfortunately I used to find it not easy to follow the English narration and / or the accents from other true crime channels, but now!l, the doctor made it too easy for me, I don't even have to watch the video. Listening is now sufficiently enough!
    Thank you very much, Dr. Grande, I wish you and your family peace, success, and joy! Happy holidays, season!! 😊

  • @rejaneoliveira5019
    @rejaneoliveira5019 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Great info on the types of stalkers.
    Thank you Dr. Grande.❤

  • @susanmann5286
    @susanmann5286 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Folks here might enjoy reading, "The Gift of Fear", by Gavin DeBecker. If you enjoyed this video I think you would learn a lot about this topic in a very interesting way. This book is hard to out down.

    • @melissadavis225
      @melissadavis225 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'll have to check this book out

    • @sanepillow59
      @sanepillow59 ปีที่แล้ว

      Brooke Shields also made a tv movie called I Can Make You Love Me based on a real mass shooting that started with a stalking case just like this

    • @jenniferthompson6280
      @jenniferthompson6280 ปีที่แล้ว

      yes, worth the read

  • @roxannespahr2804
    @roxannespahr2804 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I was once stalked by former friend/co-worker. It was scary but I luckily had already previously planned to move halfway across the country when the stalking started. I still don't know to this day what set him off. It's so sad to hear of situations where women are terrorized by someone obsessed with them, then ultimately end up murdered by that crazed person. Such a young life taken due to a psycho ex. Thank you for shedding light on this case. Love your daily videos and knowledge analyzing all diff types of situations, Dr. Grande!! ❤

  • @dameanvil
    @dameanvil ปีที่แล้ว +3

    01:06 🛑 Claire met a security guard named Michael at work. Despite his divorce, he pursued a romantic relationship with her after a few dates.
    03:37 📱 Michael's obsession intensified post-breakup: he stalked Claire persistently, making up to 50 calls a day, following her home, and watching her at work.
    06:32 🔫 After multiple incidents, including threats and physical violence, Michael fatally shot Claire at her workplace, driven by an escalating obsession.
    08:55 🚨 Police handling was criticized: insufficient training, failure to recognize the escalating danger, and allowing Michael into the country with a firearm despite red flags.
    10:19 😔 Claire's reluctance to reportstemmed from embarrassment and fear of judgment, a common dynamic in stalking cases affecting victims' willingness to seek help.
    11:26 🎯 Michael's stalking behavior aligns with multiple stalker types: rejected, resentful, and predatory, displaying a progression toward dangerous fixation and obsession.

  • @rachelmansoor8323
    @rachelmansoor8323 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Excellent coverage and analysis of this very sad and frustrating case. So good to see you covering it. It's a shame she didn't spot the red flags that kept coming her way right from the very beginning. Always so interesting to hear you. Thank you Dr Grande!👌

  • @friskykitten64
    @friskykitten64 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is so sad. 😢 she was too nice for her own good. Poor thing. 💐💐💐

  • @tomfisher44
    @tomfisher44 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This reminds me of a security guard at a mall who killed Andrea Farrington while she was working at said mall.

  • @clairelariviere3122
    @clairelariviere3122 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Let’s educate our girls that ANY kind of stalking is a very bad sign. Give a second chance if you must but not more that that! I wouldn’t even give a second chance. Any one of these behaviours is a sign of danger to come.

    • @hopeausbyn1734
      @hopeausbyn1734 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I will not give a second chance either.

  • @tdesq.2463
    @tdesq.2463 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I've made this recommendation before: If You have one or more male friends/relatives who have their sh*t together ... Get 'em involved. Sometimes, a firm, clear shot across the bow ... with some follow-up ... will scare the creep away. Effective communication can detet the creep from potentially intended violence, while avoiding it on Your end as well. That's the hope, at least.
    Big lesson from this case: If somebody's bothering You, ... SPEAK UP!!!

    • @eadweard.
      @eadweard. ปีที่แล้ว

      Utterly useless.

    • @tdesq.2463
      @tdesq.2463 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@eadweard. I disagree.

  • @fragrancememoir2350
    @fragrancememoir2350 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Stalkers are soooooo GROSS. He definitely should not have been released and definitely should not have been allowed back into the country. Poor Clare. 😥😞😓🙏

  • @Mandola-Jane
    @Mandola-Jane ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for covering Clare’s case

  • @selener4973
    @selener4973 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is just a horrible and sad case. I felt the terror myself as you told the story. How can you trust anyone these days. There are so many really bad people. You poor girl Claire, you did not deserve to run into this lunatic.

  • @rocroc
    @rocroc ปีที่แล้ว

    This was a needed and worthwhile presentation. It would be helpful to have this kind of information available to young and old women and men everywhere. AND, to the police as well. I would think you could change the opening a bit and include this as part of other pertinent videos and make them available to schools, police and employers everywhere as an educational tool. All of this could be done via access to a website or even TH-cam, etc.

  • @pipermccool
    @pipermccool ปีที่แล้ว +2

    OMG, I just had a flashback to when I grudgingly did the early-AM airport thing. We didn’t have the “s” word back then. 😑

  • @audreycasassa1683
    @audreycasassa1683 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Excellent!!! I had a mix of #'s 3 and a little bit on # 4. So I was hyper sensitive when I saw the danger signs in a friend of mine and her suitor. I was right. Fortunately for her her brothers were able to make the unwanted see the light without any violence. Sadly this was not the case for this young woman.

    • @yankeecitygirl
      @yankeecitygirl ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It's interesting to hear these stories of stalkers being afraid of male relatives. It means they're just bullies at heart,

    • @audreycasassa1683
      @audreycasassa1683 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@yankeecitygirl agreed but mixed with a slew of other mental health issues✌

  • @dawnvarty657
    @dawnvarty657 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Before I watch this, i have a question. Do you ever sleep? I don't much and can almost always count on you to release several new videos almost daily.

  • @SunsetGuitarist
    @SunsetGuitarist ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Well done. Another great video ❤

  • @palletwizard
    @palletwizard ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you king for going off!!

  • @MooseGuy1
    @MooseGuy1 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Oddly enough, firearms discourage stalkers more than restraining orders. I cornered one guy years ago who was stalking a young family member. I told him I wanted to show him something. I pulled a snub-nosed .357 magnum revolver from my jacket pocket and politely explained how the firearm worked, dazzling him with facts about stopping power and such. The stalking stopped.

  • @SuperAngelic5
    @SuperAngelic5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    So sad. The system failed her. Stalkers are not taken seriously.

    • @MsQ275
      @MsQ275 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      she failed herself by getting into a "casual" relationship. if you're relying on a "system" to care for you in any circumstance, good luck.

    • @SuperAngelic5
      @SuperAngelic5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @MsQ275 Don't blame the victim. There are dangerous people out there, and one of the reasons why we pay crazy taxes to fund police ,detectives, courts, and systems is to respond when those dangerous individuals reveal themselves. This guy definitely should have been locked up in a mental institution. People failed to do their jobs in this case.

    • @JustMe-fo4ev
      @JustMe-fo4ev 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@MsQ275 Boring troll is boring.

  • @kelliearnold8498
    @kelliearnold8498 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you Dr.Grande!! Very intriguing!!

  • @CastawayHikes
    @CastawayHikes ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Dr. Grande, can you evaluate Henry Kissinger?

  • @kristentrep5038
    @kristentrep5038 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Men/women/people in general who send dozens of flowers, and behave in an obsessively loving manner after a date or 2 have something wrong mentally! They think real life is like the movies, and ultra romantic gestures will make the other person realize they are in love too! It’s so bizarre! (In my experience, the restraining order didn’t work until he was actually caught stalking me and arrested! He lived in another state 3 hours away!! And had no business around the corner from my home! It didn’t deter him that my retired NYPD father was staying with me to help keep me safe at that point)

  • @lindas5964
    @lindas5964 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    After a restraining order,many stalkers (at least the one I had) just up their game.

  • @marilyn6168
    @marilyn6168 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Poor girl, it’s really sad

  • @kellyanni5092
    @kellyanni5092 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    IMO If a guy tells me he loves me on the first date and if I don’t say it back I’m out! TY Dr G😉 So unbelievable sad with a lot of victims

    • @scottdavidson526
      @scottdavidson526 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      If a guy tells you he loves you on the first date, the guy has serious issues.

    • @jdlamb4212
      @jdlamb4212 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      If a girl tells me she loves me, I wake up

  • @gerry2345
    @gerry2345 ปีที่แล้ว

    I like this vid. Good insight and great analysis..

  • @nika-pt2pl
    @nika-pt2pl ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Can you please make a video about
    Russell and Shirley Dermond? Elderly couple brutally murdered in their own house.
    It's an open but unsolved case

  • @marlaroberts2087
    @marlaroberts2087 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    The only real thing to do is pray to God someone like this never comes into your life! So many disturbed people walking around!

    • @Moodboard39
      @Moodboard39 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      And many die because of it

  • @melissadavis225
    @melissadavis225 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    RIP Claire.. another failed stalking case . I had a ex stalk me steady for many years,, changed my number several times.. blocked his three Facebook accounts so he can't bother me anymore.. he threatened to kill me several times..glad I got away and lived some people dont rip 😢❤ Claire..sad story..

  • @btetschner
    @btetschner ปีที่แล้ว

    Very interesting (and helpful) about the five types of stalkers.
    I am curious how a person should deal with a stalker (like what tactics are effective for getting rid of a stalker).
    I am also curious what situations are the most likely to create a stalking situation.

  • @Sanakudou
    @Sanakudou ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The fact bail is allowed for people who threaten to kill a specific person as they’re not classified as a “threat to the community” is still incomprehensibly absurd, so many murders are directly enabled by bail releases and were provable as the difference between life and death, yet still the law hasn’t changed. Nor has there at least been any counter measures to this legal loophole, like state obligation to provide the victim a safe house in instances the person charged with a death threat against them is released on bail/pending trial.

    • @eadweard.
      @eadweard. ปีที่แล้ว

      They only had her word that he'd made such a threat.

  • @SherylRobertson-p9x
    @SherylRobertson-p9x ปีที่แล้ว

    Dr. Grande could you do assessment of Hannah Payne trial.

  • @seahamdesigner
    @seahamdesigner ปีที่แล้ว

    Today was a bad day for recommendations on TH-cam home screen, but Dr Todd is here to save me. Edit: What a sad story 😢

  • @WarlordRising
    @WarlordRising 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Following the person home from work is pretty much the final stage before murder. It is the height of obsession. Why do you think celebrities live behind big walls with loads of security? They know, better than any, the dangers of obsessive stalkers.

  • @terrybeasley5931
    @terrybeasley5931 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Stalkers relationships with their prey is all made up in their head. I had a guy stalk me for days untill confronted by some male friends. He said I "lead him on" by saying "HI" to him in hallway. WTF????

  • @maryrichardson6029
    @maryrichardson6029 ปีที่แล้ว

    Always interesting
    Thank you

  • @creolelady182
    @creolelady182 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Claire worried about too much what other people thought

    • @tdesq.2463
      @tdesq.2463 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Appears to be a factor here. The "Embarrassment Dynamic" that Dr. Grande addressed caught my attention.

  • @birdworldist
    @birdworldist ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Yess king go off

  • @Traderjoe
    @Traderjoe ปีที่แล้ว +11

    This is the nightmare of many women. Early love declarations are a big red flag. In my youth I perceived my feelings to be love and declared it as well, and it always backfired on me and scared the girl off. Those feelings are infatuation rather than love. Now I know. It’s better to not reveal any feelings until the woman does first.

    • @jessepitt
      @jessepitt ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I think most “normal “ people are able to intuit the other persons feelings and therefore they can say the L word at an appropriate time.

    • @Jimmy911ism
      @Jimmy911ism ปีที่แล้ว

      Romeo and Juliet, love at first sight?

    • @ns4725
      @ns4725 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Women are trifling nowadays.

  • @cindyhesson9213
    @cindyhesson9213 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Dr ❤❤

  • @CG-MP
    @CG-MP ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Stories like this are why I support 2A. The criminals don’t respect gun laws and the law abiding citizens are left dependent on police.

    • @red_five3325
      @red_five3325 ปีที่แล้ว

      Who are at best too slow to respond, but expect them to be incompetent and/or outright corrupt.

    • @michiganmaxedout6248
      @michiganmaxedout6248 ปีที่แล้ว

      One of the reasons I also support the 2nd Amendment is that in the US, even if you're able to call the police in and life and d.e.a.t.h emergency, they have no duty to protect anyone nor to provide policing services to us. There are several cases where this has been ruled by the courts. One is Castlerock v Gonzales, where a non-custodial dad m.u.r.d.e.r.e.d his 3 children after their mother called police and they refused to enforce the protection order against him. Another is Warren v District of Columbia. In the 70s, several female roommates and a 4 year old girl were the victims of a 14 hour attack and r.a.p.e by two home intruders. Twice, a victim was able to call police. The first cop drove by in the alley but didn't stop. The second cop knocked on the door but left when the r.a.p.i.s.t.s wouldn't let the victims answer. The women sued and lost.

  • @markbeames7852
    @markbeames7852 ปีที่แล้ว

    For a moment or two I thought the wire sculpture of a cactus on the left side were drip marks on my screen.

  • @Dawn-f7g
    @Dawn-f7g ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you DOC❤Happy Hanukkah🎉

  • @Witchologies
    @Witchologies ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Please make a character analysis for Dennis Reynolds from Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia ♡

  • @onetwothree-bz9lj
    @onetwothree-bz9lj ปีที่แล้ว

    I clearly remember this case.as I live in England. what really disturbed me, was Harvey Nichols. opened their store, 12 hours later.at 8a.m. yes, business as usual..Shocking!

  • @MissJellybean
    @MissJellybean ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I wish people would take actions like his more seriously. Even if it doesn't always in violently, it ends with a lot of trauma for the victim. You shouldn't be able to traumatize somebody like that and just walk away.

  • @sallyoakes7709
    @sallyoakes7709 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I wonder what leads a person to stalking behavior.

    • @Moodboard39
      @Moodboard39 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Mind is distorted . Control and power , to intimidate . Bad joker villain

  • @mickserful
    @mickserful ปีที่แล้ว

    Psycho babble and restraining orders don't work. Clarity is priceless in these tragic situatuions but elusive. Many may cite misogony as a aggravating element, but an organized effort by law enforcement and the pschological scholars and pschiartric practionishoners to whom we beseech advice on such matters, may make the difference but incompetence and obfuscation all too often are the result. If someone has evidence to apply a restraining order, then that individual that's ordered restrained shhould wear an GPS locator and not be permitted to own firearms. Clarity, Dr Grande, clarity.

  • @johnkowalski5756
    @johnkowalski5756 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The amazing thing is how he got the pistol through customs.

  • @nimsa2000
    @nimsa2000 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hello 👋 good Dr. Grande 😊