I have found a Bottega bag heavily discounted, still expensive- sure. But 70% off. I was holding it in my hands, and thinking: if it wasn’t Bottega, I would think it is extremely ugly bag. For reference, it is “paper bag” inspired synthetic bag. But, this one is hyped, and could sound like a great deal. I walked away, of course.
Omg I have to do this with thrift stores especially if I see cute cat trinkets. Like I can appreciate how cute it is, but it doesn’t have to come home with me lol.. I have other cute things at home
Stacy London has also given similar advice: "If it's not a Hell yes, it's a no." I am particularly vulnerable to the "it could work" mindset when thrifting - I am getting better though by remembering this advice.
This happens to me all the time when thrifting! Fortunately the costs are lower than if I were to buy net new clothing items, but just the other week I bought a skirt I've been on the hunt for but wasn't totally sold on because "it's not bad" but then I stopped into a thrift store a week later and I found another one that was way better. So now I have two, oops.
When I'm in the mood to buy but I don't actually need anything, I go to a library. Then I can get that dopamine hit of browsing, finding something and checking out, but 1. It costs me nothing 2. It's not staying in my house. I still window shop also, but if I find that's not enough, it's library time. :)
Great video! Another danger zone may be when there’s a hole in your wardrobe that you get too eager to fill, so you get the first thing that “could work” because you “need it”.
I've got my own personalized addendum to the antidote for number 2: CHECK THE MEASUREMENTS! ALL OF THEM! I have rather broad shoulders (16.5" vs. the 'average' 14.5") and spent too much of my life struggling into a top or dress like I was putting on a straightjacket with the buckles already done up and thinking, "I mean, as long as I don't try to reach forward, it could work." Y'all I am 34 years old and my foremothers did not fight for the rational dress movement only for me to live like that! Unless it's a very forgiving material/cut (knit fabric, flowy sleeves, certain wrap tops) I am not hitting order until I know what that shoulder measurement is. & since most size charts are bust/waist/hip only that usually means reaching out to the brand to ask. If I'm not willing to make that effort I must not want it that badly, and if the brand isn't willing to help out they must not need my money.
I might implement this. I have trouble getting over the hump of packing up items to be returned, and this would be good motivation. Thanks for the idea!
My most tempting situation is when I really need something (for instance a pair of jeans) and I can't find any that really fits me. After spending a long time searching for them, the less worse becomes an option and "It could work" at the same time that "I can't find anything better and I need something of this" starts to sound. At those times I have to decide between "do I REALLY need It?" or "could I keep living without It, exactly as I was doing?"
THIS but with fancy dress shoes! Can't say how many times I've bought shoes that were uncomfortable, wore once or twice for specific events, then languished in my closet.
Yes! I did this the other day at the thrift shop with jeans. I had two pairs I was considering but neither were quite right. I was so tempted because the length was right on both pairs. Being short that doesn’t happen often. I carried them around in a basket until I decided that it would be silly to buy them when I already have ‘good enough’ jeans at home. It satisfied my ‘shopping/I want to look for jeans’ urge and I didn’t have to spend the money..I ended up spending that money on a small Fossil crossbody bag I also found there. I don’t have a bag like that. Bargain!
Preach! I've developed a "zero-tolerance policy" when it comes to clothing. If something isn't quite right (the color looks off, it's uncomfortable when I move my body a certain way, the silhouette isn't the most flattering, etc.), I don't allow myself to keep it. I think we tend to know instinctively if a piece will work the first time we put it on.
I always say, shopping is free. It’s buying things that costs money. My sisters and I share this kind of joke that shopping is the modern version of ‘gathering’ in a hunter gatherer society. You go out ( or go online) and just noodle around seeing if there are any ripe berries or nuts to be had. I find it helpful to put things in my virtual shopping cart, and then not buy them. It serves as a way of holding a garment up to myself and thinking about it. Or- to continue the metaphor- inspecting the fruits and berries to decide which are fully ripe and which would be better another time.
I refer to thrifting as digging for gems. You have to dig through a lot of shovelfuls of dirt and gravel, to find one gem. Some days you dig and dig and don’t find any.
If browsing without buying still isn't scratching that itch, ask yourself what you're *really* looking for. Over time I've realized that I don't actually enjoy window-shopping, at least not online. Going out is what's fun for me. Every time I've found myself scrolling through shops online, it's been because I've felt lonely and thought that if I just had the right dress, I'd feel confident enough to go out and do what I really wanted. So now I try to look for events to attend, put together looks from my wardrobe, and go. The last part is the hardest for me, but I'm sure I'll get there someday.
for the third situation, i also do these two things: If it’s clothing, I make myself create 3 or more outfits (WITH accessories) with the clothes that I already own in my head. Basically, I stop and shop my wardrobe in the moment. Most of the time, when it’s a deeply valuable piece of clothing, the 3 outfits spring up automatically. If I struggle, no matter how much i like it, it stays on the shelf. I also practice admiration without ownership. If I have particularly strong feelings about leaving in item behind, i always remind myself that beautiful things do not lose value if i don’t own them, and i don’t lose value because i don’t own every item that I find beautiful
Maybe a little random, but I LOVE that you opened the intro with "I'm a writer and I also..." now. So cool to see you fully claiming and owning that identity
I often take photos in changing rooms, when I just think that it could work to see if I‘ll even remember the item. And sometimes when I’m browsing through my old photos I find those pictures and then I‘m soo grateful that I chose not to buy that thing and forgot about it. 😂
It amazes me how much pushback you get if you tell someone you paid full price! I have a dress I absolutely love and have worn tons. But I told a couple of friends that it wasn’t on sale and man did I hear about that. I would rather pay full price for the one perfect thing. Great video Hannah. Thank you for your content.
I think because we know things are marked up so many times, and because things nearly always get marked down multiple times before they become unavailable. I would never pay full price for something. I can't think of an exception.
I think if you figure a cost per wear, the full price perfect piece is really a bargain! My closet has too many marked down pieces I have barely worn because they are not just right. I’m trying to train myself to change my mindset so sales are less alluring.
When I'm ITCHYYYYYY to buyyyyy somethinnnnng and can't find anything I both need AND genuinely love? I say "fine, I'll give myself $x to play with right now, and I will either spend that to stock up on things I always use/need/run out of, OR I will shop for a gift for someone for an upcoming birthday or holiday." Itch scratched, and I don't accumulate more Closet Flotsam that never gets worn.
At 69 and retired from a much loved career, I find myself “missing” shopping for that career wardrobe. I don’t know exactly what the answer is but I do know that this video has given me much to ponder. ❤
What I usually do for "feeling spendy," I instead go purchase index funds online ^^ ... yes they can fall but loss would less than that with unnecessary clothes (i.e., 100%), and moreover, they usually rise.
I’m a big lover of travel and backpacking so sometimes I have to reframe it with that context. The “Gucci mini skirt”, that’s a week of hostel stays just about anywhere or a domestic flight within many countries. It’s the cost of my pair of hiking boots or my backpack. Hell, that’s my rent for a month here in Mexico or the cost of all my food for the month. Or I reframe it in the context of how much time and effort it takes me to earn that amount of money. That’s a whole freelance translation project or X hours of work.
My situation is so odd when it comes to shopping. I can browse in stores for hours and find nothing that really hits the mark, but then, it's like my clothing purchases find ME. I can't tell you how many times an article of clothing has caught my attention because it was misplaced or just dropped somewhere where it didn't belong. It will cause me to stop and pick it up, examine it, and 9 times out of 10, I'll buy it because, even though I wasn't searching for that item specifically, it fills a need and it ends up being a frequently-worn piece!
The worst is when you make an expensive Ebay purchase and then just don't bond with it; and you can't return. I just did this with a brand new Jil Sander bag that I was so sure that I would love; and I just don't. Oh the regret. Never again will I buy a handbag without first holding it in my hand and trying it on.
Yep, been there with an online second-hand purchase...thought I loved it, ordered it, opened it and even though the measurements were right, I didn't like how it fit me. I ended up giving it to someone who was looking for clothes on a for-free Facebook group and it fit her much better. Thankfully not super-expensive but still was money that I won't get back 😔
Ugh yes. I had the same experience with items from Vinted a few times. Did not fit me or did not suit me or both, and congrats, youre sitting there with a bunch of thrifted stuff you cant return. Having to resell them myself, maybe not for the price that I paid. The hassle of it. Meehhh.
Thank you so much for this EYE OPENER!! I didn’t realize my closet is half full of “it-could-works” and I hate the guilt every time I pass over those items when choosing an outfit.
I’ve taken those things out of my wardrobe and put them in a box. If I go looking for them and can make it work it goes back in. After it’s been there for a while it’s easier to let go of it. Now I now everything in my wardrobe fits and looks good on me
I’ve been thinking about this off and on since I watched it. My danger zone is pieces I just fall in love with, even though I know they are not things I’d wear. Sometimes I don’t get over it- I keep wanting that beloved piece for weeks or months. Every time I see it, I want it. I have two of these in my closet right now. I’ve really pared down my wardrobe, but I keep these unworn pieces because I love them. It makes me happy to have them. In fact, they spark joy.
Part of the lure if "it could work" is in not knowing your personal aesthetic, or, being in the midst of an aesthetic shift. I am currently trying to make my wardrobe more sustainable by switching to natural fibers. I've recently learned that my autistic body HATES being in clothing that contains any polyester. It feels like I'm rolled up in plastic wrap. I've got loungewear bottoms covered thanks to 2nd hand purchases of some Printfresh garments. As for the rest, I feel like i'm floating in a perpetual purgatory of I"I know what will work, now where do I find it?" Which leads me down a path of overwhelming possibilities but no direction.
I have the same problem with Polyester. You should check out the brand Pact if you are in the U.S. Their stuff is organic cotton and feels so good on. It’s a bit pricey so I’ve been slowly converting my wardrobe.
My current issue with clothes purchasing is not that I am buying things I don't really like enough, or just because they are on sale, but that I am in danger of adding to an already full wardrobe just because I want the thrill of something new. I now ask myself what occasion in the near future would I wear this for AND is there really nothing else in my wardrobe I could wear instead. It doesn't always work but it has saved me from a few unnecessary purchases. But I really just want to try to avoid the online browsing behaviour in the first place, it's a waste of time I could better spend on something more productive.
I have said "it could work" before and it ended up working, sometimes. I think it's a phrase that shows up when leaving your comfort zone, and it can end up being a good thing
Honestly also engaging in wanting stuff in free ways helps. I want a new book I go to library. I want to try a new style borrow clothes from someone else’s donation pile. I do love shopping for the sake of shopping though
“Be prepared to return”, that’s been such an important lesson for me. I used to just keep things and try to force myself to make it work. Now I remind myself to always take advantage of free returns, and I’m even willing to pay a small restocking fee if the return price is still worth it.
As I've gotten older, I am unable to wear wool or cashmere. But until I was willing to admit that, there were a lot of "that could work" purchases. I would read the description and think "Oh, that's only XX% wool, that could work." I still do it occasionally and fortunately I've trained "my other brain" to say "No. No. That won't work. How many times do you have to make a purchase and return it before you learn?" Fortunately, I'm getting better. Thanks Hannah!
I have had to become strict in this way regarding gifts. My family often gifts me cheap, ill-fitting pants/pants that “could have worked” for them because I have such issues finding pants. I would use them because, well, I’m not Winnie-the-Pooh and I need pants. (They also guilt me and don’t keep return receipts lol). So I have a whole wardrobe of pants I won’t wear outside of the house. No more giving in to pants that technically fit my body in certain stances.
One remaining circumstance, for those of us who are weird or hard to fit sizes -- very large plus size, teeny weeny petites, very large shoe size, in-between straight and plus -- IT FITS, OR IT MIGHT FIT. When I'm a size 16 I buy the weirdest, ugliest shit, things I would never voluntarily put on my body if I had other choices, just because it fits.
i almost never end up being able to return things in the mail and so my solution has been to not shop online for clothing. so far this has worked pretty well but its frustrating that there are so few sustainably-focused brands available in person.
I've really worked hard to change my mindset around online purchases and returns. I used to pretty much never return things! Mostly due to perceived hassle. But now I start with the thought that I will most likely not be keeping them item(s). I also order more than one size a lot more if I'm not sure based on the size chart and reviews. Once I started doing the returns I realized they're not that big of a deal for me. It's opened me up to trying more different pieces from a variety of brands since I know I'm not committing 100% with the initial purchase. Of course this only works well with companies that offer free returns.
I definitely had a 'it could work' moment yesterday when I saw a bronze satin slip dress for less than $10 and the regular price was $70. I had just decluttered a tan pleated midi skirt because it wasn't fitting right even though I tried different ways of styling it. I saw the slip dress and my initial thought was 'with a dress I will have more versatility to wear it as a dress or style with something on top as a skirt.' I added to cart but then sat back and once the high of the good deal came down, I realized that the reality is, I wouldn't wear it in the way that I was justifying the purchase. I ended up deleting from my cart and I know now from this video that the 'it could work' really meant 'it isn't for me, so let it go'
Video idea: what do you do when you need to build part of your wardrobe from scratch e.g. just graduated and need business casual clothes and everything is a "it could work" situation but you still need 5 pairs of slacks
I usually just buy a few key transitional pieces that are a little cheaper specifically for that reason. As in, whilst still hunting for the perfect business capsule wardrobe, I still have to go to work! So I might buy 2-3 cheaper blazers/ shirts/ trousers & rotate those until I find what I'm actually looking for. It also gives me time to assess what's acceptable at the new workplace. It does suck to have to spend money that way but, so long as the cheaper items are in my colours & fit, they tick the box enough that I don't get arrested for indecent exposure in the meanwhile lol. And after you're done with the temporary pieces, feel free to donate them to Dress for Success!
For me, I also know I need to be ok with letting something go that “could” actually be perfect and fantastic and something I would love forever. My reality is that sometimes, the “it could work” purchases do in fact work and become some of my favorite. But that’s the minority of those purchases, and some of those items sat in my closet for years before I wore them and found I loved them. I’ve realized that there are so many things I do enjoy and love, that I truly can’t have them all (nor would want to). I also have started shopping my closet instead of buying “could work” items and/or wish-listing the item to see if my ambivalent feelings shift in one direction or another.
I fill my online cart, then "save for later" and think about it for at least 24 hours. Usually, the urge is satisfied by the search and click but not pay.😉
I was thinking to myself “I don’t do this much…” but then I realize that I don’t with clothes but I definitely do with makeup! I can think of a foundation that I bought on sale ✅ and it was online, when I got it I didn’t love it but I thought it could work ✅ and it was something that I wanted to want in hindsight… some reflection will be had…
You nailed it Hannah! Sales, markdowns(and second hand ) are a big clue that others didn’t like it. I started using that thought to help me avoid buying trouble. I am trying to navigate the new reality of buying online and I immediately thought of 2 tops that I kept so I didn’t have to return them!
That #2 is my weakness! I am getting better, though, because I realize how many things I have in my closet that I never wear because I should have sent them back. Then I end up donating them and all that money is down the drain. I’ve promised myself I won’t ever do that again.
I'm susceptible to a variation of Nr. 2: sometimes I get so hyped up about a piece and imagine how great my life would be having it in my closet, that when it finally arrives and something is off about it, I downplay it in my head and think "it could work" or "i'll get used to it". This usually happens to things that are just a little bit off and that were on my wishlist for a long time.
I sometimes have a problem hearing my mantra of "If it's not a definite yes, it's a definite no." and hearing myself say, "This could work." should give my mantra a much louder voice. Thank you!
Love "Browsing without Buying" ! It's a challenge, not going to lie, but I can fully appreciate looking at beautiful items without having to bring them home! Thanks for the insight! I think this video hit the nail on the head for me!❤
I think another area of danger with curating wardrobe and "it could work" is hand me down.s My family is a lot of close women with overlapping style and I had to learn to be very selective with things that are offered to me. Still I have amazing wardrobe with a ton of hand me downs that I actually DO wear.
I read some of Julia Hungry, I haven't finished processing my thoughts yet but I just wanted to let you know I'm so happy that it was published and that I was able to read your work.
You make me feel si good in these minutes. I felt very seen because i share your ideas. And I would add.. the inner voice in my head feels RUTHLESS when I doesn't give into my inclination to shop. I think it seems this way because it Is fighting consumerism, which is a quiet beast. And also never settle for less than perfect in every way, even if you think that you can't afford it because you don't know what you can encounter. This makes you "save" money for when you are sure about your purchase, any purchase
Helpful tips! The "wanting to want" thing reminds me of my mom's rule of needing to "draw first blood" while shopping - the idea being that once you commit to buying one thing and break the seal so to speak, it's easier to add other stuff on as well. (This would always drive me nuts because I hate the idea of shopping to buy things vs shopping to find something you will genuinely love and use!)
This is so tough to stick to when thrifting. When am I going to find this again? At this amazing price? But I've regretted buying things MUCH more often than I've regretted putting the clothes back and not buying it. But not never. I'm still kicking myself over the wonderful pants I decided against because they needed to be hemmed and I wasn't sure they wouldn't stay unhemmed, waiting on my to-do list forever. (Excellent advice. Thanks)
Oh, I wanted to add this in case it might help someone. I am REALLY bad about "it could work" when it involves clothes (or really anything, but especially clothes) people want to give me. I think that because it's "free," I should try to make it work. It's not free! Your time and space are valuable! Your identity is valuable! Don't accept clothes that people are giving away unless you truly love it and you would seek it out and buy it at full price! This reminded me of a situation in which someone essentially stalked me to give me a precious shirt of hers that she could no longer wear. It was someone in a group class, and I had never even spoken to her or officially met her! One day she came up to me out of the blue and said, "I've been looking for someone special to give this to because it was expensive and I love it; it just doesn't fit anymore. I think it would look beautiful on you." What do you say to that?! So I accepted it. I hate it. It's the wrong color, it's uncomfortable, and it's a pain to launder. Out it's going! I did not realize until now how weird and gross that was. Ewww!!! Honestly, sometimes when people try to give you their unwanted clothes, it's because they feel guilty about making bad purchasing decisions. I am not their trash can! Anyway, hope this helps someone!
I had someone do this to me for ny birthday - they would keep insisting on meeting one-on-one even though we weren't close, & they essentially dumped a bunch of stuff on me I guess they felt guilty about buying but no longer needed? Majority of the stuff had tags on it but I hated just about everything in that haul except for one item. I felt sooo guilty about it at first but, actually, I realised it's not my fault if someone else doesn't know me well enough to know I'm never going to wear a fluffy blingy bag (one of many examples). Eventually I just donated that whole pile of stuff based on that logic - no regrets lol.
Your video came just at the right moment. I was about to fall into the “it might work” trap and spend money on a pair of jeans which are nice but not great …. Thanks!! Always great content.
"It could work" was EXACTLY what I said yesterday when I tried on a black linen shirt dress that I ordered, but I thought of you and came to my senses! Clothing is expensive enough as it is, why should we settle for something that isn't exactly what we want and doesn't make us feel confident?
As a person who almost exclusively shop secondhand where there are no return policies, I let every piece simmer in my head for at least a week (or an hour of instensive deliberation at the thrift shop haha). As I do my day-to-day activities and wear my existing outfits, I picture what role the piece would play in my wardrobe ecosystem and how I would feel wearing them at the office, running to catch a bus, meeting with friends, etc. It has been working pretty well so far!
I just love this series. I never thought about shopping behaviors as their own coping mechanism/hobby until you made that video about limiting it. It's really helped me to understand why I do it and to recognize when it's ok and when it's not serving me. Great content, as always :)
The closing of so many bricks and mortar stores has nudged me into more online shopping, but I have learned to mostly stick with online shops like Nordstrom or Anthro where I can make returns easily (our nearby Nordies closed but there is still a Rack where I can return). I kinda hate having to place an order to try something rather than just take it to a dressing room (or in some cases, just look at it on a hanger to know I won’t like it). But this is our reality now, and I’ve gotten really good about prompt returns. But just the other day I actually uttered the words “this could work” and two tops came home with me from Gap. I’ve been looking for a great white woven summer top, and the one I got is cream, not white. I’m tempted to hang onto it while I keep looking… but now your caution is haunting me! 😂
A thought process that has helped me about browsing: if there's a stated goal, then the goal must be met with a "this is the one!" to buy it. If there is no goal, then the real goal is to look at a lot of things and judge them by my (sometimes aspirational) standards. And that second can be easily filled by browsing listings for things that are too expensive for me or otherwise have no place in my lifestyle e.g. TVs, collector's edition books, villas, luxury resort stays, decor that would be a pain to clean, etc. For clothing specifically I also watch youtube videos of designer runway shows - it's like browsing but they're the ones "scrolling" past my screen lol
THANK YOU for putting this so succinctly!!! i'm definitely guilty of #2, i recently bought some expensive shoes online since i saw that it was returnable, but i didn't read the fine print close enough and i'd have to pay the (EXPENSIVE) return fees.... i kept them, and they are relatively wearable (i.e: "it can work"!) but they're not perfect, so now i've learnt my lesson to 1) not buy shoes from online stores, especially overseas ones and 2) as you said, check ALL the logistics of a return!
Great advice! Thank you! I’ve been doing this with decluttering my closet. I will say, “I can make this work if I just…” rather than going ahead and letting it go. Time to move on!
Finding an item that is a resounding yes really helps me differentiate from the "it could work" and avoid that trap. The down side is that my discernment fades if I haven't found anything that gives that feeling in too long. Thank you for this reminder!
This might be one of the best videos you've ever put out. Seriously. Because we all do it, we all fall into this insidious trap, and it was so useful to hear it articulated so clearly, along with the antidote.
This video is perfect timing as I am going on a ladies only shopping long weekend with family members this weekend ❤️❤️ only buy things I love … NO this could work items !!
this first tip is SO helpful!! i feel like ive become much more mindful generally when buying clothing but i've been running into new issues because i need...work clothes! in an industry that is NOT becoming zoom casual like so many it girl brands currently assume everyone is, lol....and being short means i feel like there legitimately isn't anything better than "hmm..it could work" LMAO
As someone who NEVER returns things (because of the trouble and also knowing that the items are likely to be thrown away rather than reshelved) I've been committing to "make things work" even if they first appear to be not working at all. I did end up gifting some items away mostly because they are simply too large for me as a petite person, but most of the time I ended up loving the things, even though if I saw or tried them in a store I wouldn't have bought or even considered them at all. This has led to twists and inspirations to my personal style, though maybe because I am still experimenting with outfits and silhouette, following some significant lifestyle changes. Maybe I will get to a point when I really KNOW what definitely would work for me, and what falls into the "it could work" category. (I did gradually realize, over the year, more and more things are just never going to work, so I am getting there!)
I love creating lists. On a website. Or add to cart but leave and not buy anything and it's fun! Also if time goes by goes by and I am super thinking of one specific thing I will consider buying it. But I do love just filling up a cart and it almost gives me as much joy as actually buying it :)
These are GREAT reminders - thank you! I no longer shop ThredUp but when I was, I always made sure it was an item I could return. Sometimes, I would pay a bit more to ensure the item was returnable. I would add: we have an abundance. (In the US where I am) we are not in a limited resource environment and we are served by growing out of our scarcity mindset for clothing.
You asked in another video about future video ideas. You’re a Tango dancer. I assume Argentine Tango. I’m a WCS dancer. I love quality clothing, some slouchy pieces, high end fabrics, pleated and cigarette pants, bootleg jeans-usually in black, and in my younger years, form fitting LS tops for dancing. I’ve done some Tango. One big difference is the heeled dance shoes. I never loved heeels, but now I can’t wear them at all, and I have child size feet, so I’m limited to whatever I can find that works on the floor. I’m hoping you’ll make a video on your dance clothing choices, as I feel unsettled about how to move into a different dance wardrobe. I need more coverage on top now, at the same time that the WCS community is dancing in cropped tees and cargo pants. I’d love any guidelines you’re using, especially if they might overlap into WCS.
I also like to think that each $150 ‘bargain’ that I don’t buy lets me take $150 off a big purchase I might be eyeing off (if that makes sense!) Love your shopping/fashion videos so much xx
Okay. I'll admit I fall into category three a lot. I am thinking I now need to create a Pinterest board of "It could works." I mean the it could work things give me pleasure upon seeing them, but for some reason they aren't totally me. This way I could have them without the purchasing regrets - all tucked away in my little Pinterest closet. Wow. I wonder how much that closet would overlap with my fantasy self closet...
Thank your for that video Hannah! I’ve been questioning myself a lot about loving a piece of clothing « at first sight ». I try to only buy clothes that I absolutely love, but I think it happened like 3 or 4 times in my life :’) most of the time, I enjoy the piece of clothing, I hesitate and hesitate til I buy it if it is good enough. and then it take me some times to learn to love it. I have several pieces that I bought feeling uncertain, but I started to love after wearing it, and that I absolutely love now. I have to say I’m really exigent on materials and I only buy things that suit my lifestyle.
This is so good. You're reading my mail Hannah. For me 'just browsing' gets dangerous because after looking looking looking and not finding, 'it could work' sneaks in there out of frustration, and needing a find. I will now watch for those deadly words 'this could work' sneaking their way in. Thank you! 💖
Browsing without buying has been a big game changer to me. I say “I love that that exists, and I don’t need to own it!”
absolutely, like going to the museum....
Love this. I also like to browse and appreciate the creativity of the designers without feeling the need to purchase ❤
I do this with make up, clothes, even with real estate and cars. I can admire and do nothing about it.
I have found a Bottega bag heavily discounted, still expensive- sure. But 70% off. I was holding it in my hands, and thinking: if it wasn’t Bottega, I would think it is extremely ugly bag. For reference, it is “paper bag” inspired synthetic bag. But, this one is hyped, and could sound like a great deal.
I walked away, of course.
Omg I have to do this with thrift stores especially if I see cute cat trinkets. Like I can appreciate how cute it is, but it doesn’t have to come home with me lol.. I have other cute things at home
I was told once that you'll never love something more than you do in the dressing room. So if you don't *love* it there, it's absolutely a no.
Another danger zone: throwing more things in the online cart to get the free shipping.
It could work. Lol. Sounds like the beginning of a bad relationship. 😂
Facts!
It's pretty telling how similar app dating is to online shopping. Kind of depressing too 🫠
Now THAT is funny! And applicable!
It could work often creeps up for me when I need to top up my order to get the free shipping 😝
Same! For some reason paying 100€ for an unnecessary piece seems a better deal than paying 8€ for shipping 😂
Stacy London has also given similar advice: "If it's not a Hell yes, it's a no." I am particularly vulnerable to the "it could work" mindset when thrifting - I am getting better though by remembering this advice.
This happens to me all the time when thrifting! Fortunately the costs are lower than if I were to buy net new clothing items, but just the other week I bought a skirt I've been on the hunt for but wasn't totally sold on because "it's not bad" but then I stopped into a thrift store a week later and I found another one that was way better. So now I have two, oops.
When I'm in the mood to buy but I don't actually need anything, I go to a library. Then I can get that dopamine hit of browsing, finding something and checking out, but 1. It costs me nothing 2. It's not staying in my house. I still window shop also, but if I find that's not enough, it's library time. :)
This is good.
Great video! Another danger zone may be when there’s a hole in your wardrobe that you get too eager to fill, so you get the first thing that “could work” because you “need it”.
I've got my own personalized addendum to the antidote for number 2: CHECK THE MEASUREMENTS! ALL OF THEM! I have rather broad shoulders (16.5" vs. the 'average' 14.5") and spent too much of my life struggling into a top or dress like I was putting on a straightjacket with the buckles already done up and thinking, "I mean, as long as I don't try to reach forward, it could work."
Y'all I am 34 years old and my foremothers did not fight for the rational dress movement only for me to live like that! Unless it's a very forgiving material/cut (knit fabric, flowy sleeves, certain wrap tops) I am not hitting order until I know what that shoulder measurement is. & since most size charts are bust/waist/hip only that usually means reaching out to the brand to ask. If I'm not willing to make that effort I must not want it that badly, and if the brand isn't willing to help out they must not need my money.
My best tip for making myself return things: personal rule that I can't buy anything new until my returns are done. Works like a charm lol
oh gosh, that's a good one!
I might implement this. I have trouble getting over the hump of packing up items to be returned, and this would be good motivation. Thanks for the idea!
I do this too! I online shop almost exclusively but I return probably 50% of the crap but at least I follow through!
My most tempting situation is when I really need something (for instance a pair of jeans) and I can't find any that really fits me. After spending a long time searching for them, the less worse becomes an option and "It could work" at the same time that "I can't find anything better and I need something of this" starts to sound. At those times I have to decide between "do I REALLY need It?" or "could I keep living without It, exactly as I was doing?"
THIS but with fancy dress shoes! Can't say how many times I've bought shoes that were uncomfortable, wore once or twice for specific events, then languished in my closet.
Yes! I did this the other day at the thrift shop with jeans. I had two pairs I was considering but neither were quite right. I was so tempted because the length was right on both pairs. Being short that doesn’t happen often. I carried them around in a basket until I decided that it would be silly to buy them when I already have ‘good enough’ jeans at home. It satisfied my ‘shopping/I want to look for jeans’ urge and I didn’t have to spend the money..I ended up spending that money on a small Fossil crossbody bag I also found there. I don’t have a bag like that. Bargain!
Preach! I've developed a "zero-tolerance policy" when it comes to clothing. If something isn't quite right (the color looks off, it's uncomfortable when I move my body a certain way, the silhouette isn't the most flattering, etc.), I don't allow myself to keep it. I think we tend to know instinctively if a piece will work the first time we put it on.
I do this too. I have to love it and feel happy in it 😊
I always say, shopping is free. It’s buying things that costs money. My sisters and I share this kind of joke that shopping is the modern version of ‘gathering’ in a hunter gatherer society. You go out ( or go online) and just noodle around seeing if there are any ripe berries or nuts to be had. I find it helpful to put things in my virtual shopping cart, and then not buy them. It serves as a way of holding a garment up to myself and thinking about it. Or- to continue the metaphor- inspecting the fruits and berries to decide which are fully ripe and which would be better another time.
I love this
I used to joke that in a primitive society, I would be an excellent hunter-gatherer. 😂 Thank you for this take!
I refer to thrifting as digging for gems. You have to dig through a lot of shovelfuls of dirt and gravel, to find one gem. Some days you dig and dig and don’t find any.
If browsing without buying still isn't scratching that itch, ask yourself what you're *really* looking for. Over time I've realized that I don't actually enjoy window-shopping, at least not online. Going out is what's fun for me. Every time I've found myself scrolling through shops online, it's been because I've felt lonely and thought that if I just had the right dress, I'd feel confident enough to go out and do what I really wanted. So now I try to look for events to attend, put together looks from my wardrobe, and go. The last part is the hardest for me, but I'm sure I'll get there someday.
This is such good advice
Love this advice, thank you
Very insightful. Thank you for sharing this profound realisation.
Waauw that’s amazing! Thank you so much for sharing your insight ❤😊
for the third situation, i also do these two things: If it’s clothing, I make myself create 3 or more outfits (WITH accessories) with the clothes that I already own in my head. Basically, I stop and shop my wardrobe in the moment. Most of the time, when it’s a deeply valuable piece of clothing, the 3 outfits spring up automatically. If I struggle, no matter how much i like it, it stays on the shelf. I also practice admiration without ownership. If I have particularly strong feelings about leaving in item behind, i always remind myself that beautiful things do not lose value if i don’t own them, and i don’t lose value because i don’t own every item that I find beautiful
Maybe a little random, but I LOVE that you opened the intro with "I'm a writer and I also..." now. So cool to see you fully claiming and owning that identity
I often take photos in changing rooms, when I just think that it could work to see if I‘ll even remember the item. And sometimes when I’m browsing through my old photos I find those pictures and then I‘m soo grateful that I chose not to buy that thing and forgot about it. 😂
It amazes me how much pushback you get if you tell someone you paid full price! I have a dress I absolutely love and have worn tons. But I told a couple of friends that it wasn’t on sale and man did I hear about that. I would rather pay full price for the one perfect thing. Great video Hannah. Thank you for your content.
I think because we know things are marked up so many times, and because things nearly always get marked down multiple times before they become unavailable.
I would never pay full price for something. I can't think of an exception.
I think if you figure a cost per wear, the full price perfect piece is really a bargain! My closet has too many marked down pieces I have barely worn because they are not just right. I’m trying to train myself to change my mindset so sales are less alluring.
Oddly I like paying full price. It means I really like the item
This list is legit. I've definitely had to ask myself many a time, "If this were not on sale, would I still want it at full price?"
When I'm ITCHYYYYYY to buyyyyy somethinnnnng and can't find anything I both need AND genuinely love? I say "fine, I'll give myself $x to play with right now, and I will either spend that to stock up on things I always use/need/run out of, OR I will shop for a gift for someone for an upcoming birthday or holiday." Itch scratched, and I don't accumulate more Closet Flotsam that never gets worn.
At 69 and retired from a much loved career, I find myself “missing” shopping for that career wardrobe. I don’t know exactly what the answer is but I do know that this video has given me much to ponder. ❤
What I usually do for "feeling spendy," I instead go purchase index funds online ^^ ... yes they can fall but loss would less than that with unnecessary clothes (i.e., 100%), and moreover, they usually rise.
I’m a big lover of travel and backpacking so sometimes I have to reframe it with that context. The “Gucci mini skirt”, that’s a week of hostel stays just about anywhere or a domestic flight within many countries. It’s the cost of my pair of hiking boots or my backpack. Hell, that’s my rent for a month here in Mexico or the cost of all my food for the month. Or I reframe it in the context of how much time and effort it takes me to earn that amount of money. That’s a whole freelance translation project or X hours of work.
My situation is so odd when it comes to shopping. I can browse in stores for hours and find nothing that really hits the mark, but then, it's like my clothing purchases find ME. I can't tell you how many times an article of clothing has caught my attention because it was misplaced or just dropped somewhere where it didn't belong. It will cause me to stop and pick it up, examine it, and 9 times out of 10, I'll buy it because, even though I wasn't searching for that item specifically, it fills a need and it ends up being a frequently-worn piece!
that's SUCH a thing!!
The worst is when you make an expensive Ebay purchase and then just don't bond with it; and you can't return. I just did this with a brand new Jil Sander bag that I was so sure that I would love; and I just don't. Oh the regret. Never again will I buy a handbag without first holding it in my hand and trying it on.
Yep, been there with an online second-hand purchase...thought I loved it, ordered it, opened it and even though the measurements were right, I didn't like how it fit me. I ended up giving it to someone who was looking for clothes on a for-free Facebook group and it fit her much better. Thankfully not super-expensive but still was money that I won't get back 😔
Ugh yes. I had the same experience with items from Vinted a few times. Did not fit me or did not suit me or both, and congrats, youre sitting there with a bunch of thrifted stuff you cant return. Having to resell them myself, maybe not for the price that I paid. The hassle of it. Meehhh.
Thank you so much for this EYE OPENER!! I didn’t realize my closet is half full of “it-could-works” and I hate the guilt every time I pass over those items when choosing an outfit.
I’ve taken those things out of my wardrobe and put them in a box. If I go looking for them and can make it work it goes back in. After it’s been there for a while it’s easier to let go of it. Now I now everything in my wardrobe fits and looks good on me
I’ve been thinking about this off and on since I watched it. My danger zone is pieces I just fall in love with, even though I know they are not things I’d wear. Sometimes I don’t get over it- I keep wanting that beloved piece for weeks or months. Every time I see it, I want it. I have two of these in my closet right now. I’ve really pared down my wardrobe, but I keep these unworn pieces because I love them. It makes me happy to have them. In fact, they spark joy.
Part of the lure if "it could work" is in not knowing your personal aesthetic, or, being in the midst of an aesthetic shift. I am currently trying to make my wardrobe more sustainable by switching to natural fibers. I've recently learned that my autistic body HATES being in clothing that contains any polyester. It feels like I'm rolled up in plastic wrap. I've got loungewear bottoms covered thanks to 2nd hand purchases of some Printfresh garments. As for the rest, I feel like i'm floating in a perpetual purgatory of I"I know what will work, now where do I find it?" Which leads me down a path of overwhelming possibilities but no direction.
I have the same problem with Polyester. You should check out the brand Pact if you are in the U.S. Their stuff is organic cotton and feels so good on. It’s a bit pricey so I’ve been slowly converting my wardrobe.
My current issue with clothes purchasing is not that I am buying things I don't really like enough, or just because they are on sale, but that I am in danger of adding to an already full wardrobe just because I want the thrill of something new.
I now ask myself what occasion in the near future would I wear this for AND is there really nothing else in my wardrobe I could wear instead. It doesn't always work but it has saved me from a few unnecessary purchases. But I really just want to try to avoid the online browsing behaviour in the first place, it's a waste of time I could better spend on something more productive.
My phrase has always been, “when in doubt, leave it out!” Same same
I have said "it could work" before and it ended up working, sometimes. I think it's a phrase that shows up when leaving your comfort zone, and it can end up being a good thing
Honestly also engaging in wanting stuff in free ways helps. I want a new book I go to library. I want to try a new style borrow clothes from someone else’s donation pile. I do love shopping for the sake of shopping though
“Be prepared to return”, that’s been such an important lesson for me. I used to just keep things and try to force myself to make it work. Now I remind myself to always take advantage of free returns, and I’m even willing to pay a small restocking fee if the return price is still worth it.
The production quality is off the chain lately 🤌🏻
As I've gotten older, I am unable to wear wool or cashmere. But until I was willing to admit that, there were a lot of "that could work" purchases. I would read the description and think "Oh, that's only XX% wool, that could work." I still do it occasionally and fortunately I've trained "my other brain" to say "No. No. That won't work. How many times do you have to make a purchase and return it before you learn?" Fortunately, I'm getting better. Thanks Hannah!
I have had to become strict in this way regarding gifts. My family often gifts me cheap, ill-fitting pants/pants that “could have worked” for them because I have such issues finding pants. I would use them because, well, I’m not Winnie-the-Pooh and I need pants. (They also guilt me and don’t keep return receipts lol). So I have a whole wardrobe of pants I won’t wear outside of the house. No more giving in to pants that technically fit my body in certain stances.
❤️❤️❤️
One remaining circumstance, for those of us who are weird or hard to fit sizes -- very large plus size, teeny weeny petites, very large shoe size, in-between straight and plus -- IT FITS, OR IT MIGHT FIT.
When I'm a size 16 I buy the weirdest, ugliest shit, things I would never voluntarily put on my body if I had other choices, just because it fits.
i almost never end up being able to return things in the mail and so my solution has been to not shop online for clothing. so far this has worked pretty well but its frustrating that there are so few sustainably-focused brands available in person.
That idea of re-anchoring in a product at the same price point you know you want is so wise. I'm taking that one.
the girlies need a video about investment shoes. especially those work without socks like flats
I've really worked hard to change my mindset around online purchases and returns. I used to pretty much never return things! Mostly due to perceived hassle. But now I start with the thought that I will most likely not be keeping them item(s). I also order more than one size a lot more if I'm not sure based on the size chart and reviews. Once I started doing the returns I realized they're not that big of a deal for me. It's opened me up to trying more different pieces from a variety of brands since I know I'm not committing 100% with the initial purchase. Of course this only works well with companies that offer free returns.
I definitely had a 'it could work' moment yesterday when I saw a bronze satin slip dress for less than $10 and the regular price was $70.
I had just decluttered a tan pleated midi skirt because it wasn't fitting right even though I tried different ways of styling it. I saw the slip dress and my initial thought was 'with a dress I will have more versatility to wear it as a dress or style with something on top as a skirt.' I added to cart but then sat back and once the high of the good deal came down, I realized that the reality is, I wouldn't wear it in the way that I was justifying the purchase.
I ended up deleting from my cart and I know now from this video that the 'it could work' really meant 'it isn't for me, so let it go'
It is like "visiting the church" watching these videos of yours! Girl, you are preaching so well - Shopping and buying is so not the same YES!
Video idea: what do you do when you need to build part of your wardrobe from scratch e.g. just graduated and need business casual clothes and everything is a "it could work" situation but you still need 5 pairs of slacks
I'd love a video like this. I lost 100lbs and am in a similar spot. I need clothes, but I have no idea what works.
I usually just buy a few key transitional pieces that are a little cheaper specifically for that reason. As in, whilst still hunting for the perfect business capsule wardrobe, I still have to go to work!
So I might buy 2-3 cheaper blazers/ shirts/ trousers & rotate those until I find what I'm actually looking for. It also gives me time to assess what's acceptable at the new workplace.
It does suck to have to spend money that way but, so long as the cheaper items are in my colours & fit, they tick the box enough that I don't get arrested for indecent exposure in the meanwhile lol.
And after you're done with the temporary pieces, feel free to donate them to Dress for Success!
For me, I also know I need to be ok with letting something go that “could” actually be perfect and fantastic and something I would love forever. My reality is that sometimes, the “it could work” purchases do in fact work and become some of my favorite. But that’s the minority of those purchases, and some of those items sat in my closet for years before I wore them and found I loved them. I’ve realized that there are so many things I do enjoy and love, that I truly can’t have them all (nor would want to). I also have started shopping my closet instead of buying “could work” items and/or wish-listing the item to see if my ambivalent feelings shift in one direction or another.
I fill my online cart, then "save for later" and think about it for at least 24 hours.
Usually, the urge is satisfied by the search and click but not pay.😉
I was thinking to myself “I don’t do this much…” but then I realize that I don’t with clothes but I definitely do with makeup! I can think of a foundation that I bought on sale ✅ and it was online, when I got it I didn’t love it but I thought it could work ✅ and it was something that I wanted to want in hindsight… some reflection will be had…
Id love a video on quality clothing pieces md how to avoid bad quality clothes.
You nailed it Hannah! Sales, markdowns(and second hand ) are a big clue that others didn’t like it. I started using that thought to help me avoid buying trouble. I am trying to navigate the new reality of buying online and I immediately thought of 2 tops that I kept so I didn’t have to return them!
I've heard a different version of this "if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no!". Kinda same "maybe" boundary!
That #2 is my weakness! I am getting better, though, because I realize how many things I have in my closet that I never wear because I should have sent them back. Then I end up donating them and all that money is down the drain. I’ve promised myself I won’t ever do that again.
I'm susceptible to a variation of Nr. 2: sometimes I get so hyped up about a piece and imagine how great my life would be having it in my closet, that when it finally arrives and something is off about it, I downplay it in my head and think "it could work" or "i'll get used to it".
This usually happens to things that are just a little bit off and that were on my wishlist for a long time.
The danger zone font & cuts on these are super cute - and legitimately helpful haha
I sometimes have a problem hearing my mantra of "If it's not a definite yes, it's a definite no." and hearing myself say, "This could work." should give my mantra a much louder voice. Thank you!
Love "Browsing without Buying" ! It's a challenge, not going to lie, but I can fully appreciate looking at beautiful items without having to bring them home! Thanks for the insight! I think this video hit the nail on the head for me!❤
I think another area of danger with curating wardrobe and "it could work" is hand me down.s My family is a lot of close women with overlapping style and I had to learn to be very selective with things that are offered to me. Still I have amazing wardrobe with a ton of hand me downs that I actually DO wear.
I would like to see same format videos for make up!like how would you avoid 3 mistakes when buying make up...or how to buy classic staples etc...
I read some of Julia Hungry, I haven't finished processing my thoughts yet but I just wanted to let you know I'm so happy that it was published and that I was able to read your work.
Howw did I miss this.. perfect content!!
Best.HLP. Video.Ever
I was about to head out the door to the flea market to impulse buy a denim* jacket... gotta watch this first!
You make me feel si good in these minutes. I felt very seen because i share your ideas. And I would add.. the inner voice in my head feels RUTHLESS when I doesn't give into my inclination to shop. I think it seems this way because it Is fighting consumerism, which is a quiet beast. And also never settle for less than perfect in every way, even if you think that you can't afford it because you don't know what you can encounter. This makes you "save" money for when you are sure about your purchase, any purchase
Thank you! So many good things to keep in mind here
Articulate, practical & relatable! Love this 💕
Helpful tips! The "wanting to want" thing reminds me of my mom's rule of needing to "draw first blood" while shopping - the idea being that once you commit to buying one thing and break the seal so to speak, it's easier to add other stuff on as well. (This would always drive me nuts because I hate the idea of shopping to buy things vs shopping to find something you will genuinely love and use!)
This is so tough to stick to when thrifting. When am I going to find this again? At this amazing price? But I've regretted buying things MUCH more often than I've regretted putting the clothes back and not buying it. But not never. I'm still kicking myself over the wonderful pants I decided against because they needed to be hemmed and I wasn't sure they wouldn't stay unhemmed, waiting on my to-do list forever. (Excellent advice. Thanks)
Oh, I wanted to add this in case it might help someone. I am REALLY bad about "it could work" when it involves clothes (or really anything, but especially clothes) people want to give me. I think that because it's "free," I should try to make it work. It's not free! Your time and space are valuable! Your identity is valuable! Don't accept clothes that people are giving away unless you truly love it and you would seek it out and buy it at full price!
This reminded me of a situation in which someone essentially stalked me to give me a precious shirt of hers that she could no longer wear. It was someone in a group class, and I had never even spoken to her or officially met her! One day she came up to me out of the blue and said, "I've been looking for someone special to give this to because it was expensive and I love it; it just doesn't fit anymore. I think it would look beautiful on you." What do you say to that?! So I accepted it. I hate it. It's the wrong color, it's uncomfortable, and it's a pain to launder. Out it's going! I did not realize until now how weird and gross that was. Ewww!!!
Honestly, sometimes when people try to give you their unwanted clothes, it's because they feel guilty about making bad purchasing decisions. I am not their trash can!
Anyway, hope this helps someone!
WOW, thanks for this. Nothing is actually free, because even the free things cost space and maintenance. Yay
I had someone do this to me for ny birthday - they would keep insisting on meeting one-on-one even though we weren't close, & they essentially dumped a bunch of stuff on me I guess they felt guilty about buying but no longer needed? Majority of the stuff had tags on it but I hated just about everything in that haul except for one item.
I felt sooo guilty about it at first but, actually, I realised it's not my fault if someone else doesn't know me well enough to know I'm never going to wear a fluffy blingy bag (one of many examples). Eventually I just donated that whole pile of stuff based on that logic - no regrets lol.
@@JBUHJBUH wow, that’s crazy! Sounds like you handled the situation really well, though!
I loved this. “It could work” is so deceptive.
Your video came just at the right moment. I was about to fall into the “it might work” trap and spend money on a pair of jeans which are nice but not great …. Thanks!! Always great content.
"It could work" was EXACTLY what I said yesterday when I tried on a black linen shirt dress that I ordered, but I thought of you and came to my senses! Clothing is expensive enough as it is, why should we settle for something that isn't exactly what we want and doesn't make us feel confident?
As a person who almost exclusively shop secondhand where there are no return policies, I let every piece simmer in my head for at least a week (or an hour of instensive deliberation at the thrift shop haha). As I do my day-to-day activities and wear my existing outfits, I picture what role the piece would play in my wardrobe ecosystem and how I would feel wearing them at the office, running to catch a bus, meeting with friends, etc. It has been working pretty well so far!
I just love this series. I never thought about shopping behaviors as their own coping mechanism/hobby until you made that video about limiting it. It's really helped me to understand why I do it and to recognize when it's ok and when it's not serving me. Great content, as always :)
The closing of so many bricks and mortar stores has nudged me into more online shopping, but I have learned to mostly stick with online shops like Nordstrom or Anthro where I can make returns easily (our nearby Nordies closed but there is still a Rack where I can return). I kinda hate having to place an order to try something rather than just take it to a dressing room (or in some cases, just look at it on a hanger to know I won’t like it). But this is our reality now, and I’ve gotten really good about prompt returns.
But just the other day I actually uttered the words “this could work” and two tops came home with me from Gap. I’ve been looking for a great white woven summer top, and the one I got is cream, not white. I’m tempted to hang onto it while I keep looking… but now your caution is haunting me! 😂
the first tip of comparing the on sale thing to something you've been eyeing at the same price is definitely going to change my life.
A thought process that has helped me about browsing: if there's a stated goal, then the goal must be met with a "this is the one!" to buy it. If there is no goal, then the real goal is to look at a lot of things and judge them by my (sometimes aspirational) standards. And that second can be easily filled by browsing listings for things that are too expensive for me or otherwise have no place in my lifestyle e.g. TVs, collector's edition books, villas, luxury resort stays, decor that would be a pain to clean, etc. For clothing specifically I also watch youtube videos of designer runway shows - it's like browsing but they're the ones "scrolling" past my screen lol
THANK YOU for putting this so succinctly!!! i'm definitely guilty of #2, i recently bought some expensive shoes online since i saw that it was returnable, but i didn't read the fine print close enough and i'd have to pay the (EXPENSIVE) return fees.... i kept them, and they are relatively wearable (i.e: "it can work"!) but they're not perfect, so now i've learnt my lesson to 1) not buy shoes from online stores, especially overseas ones and 2) as you said, check ALL the logistics of a return!
By watching your videos, I’ve come to realize that 1/2 my wardrobe is based on magical thinking 😂
Great advice! Thank you! I’ve been doing this with decluttering my closet. I will say, “I can make this work if I just…” rather than going ahead and letting it go. Time to move on!
Finding an item that is a resounding yes really helps me differentiate from the "it could work" and avoid that trap. The down side is that my discernment fades if I haven't found anything that gives that feeling in too long. Thank you for this reminder!
You are the sister I've always wanted. Your videos have really helped me verbalize things I want/don't want. Thank you for sharing all your knowledge!
Oh Hannah, I love you. I've been waiting for days for a new post. I'm so glad to see you.
Great tips Hannah! Browsing without shopping is a new advice that I'm excited to try.
This might be one of the best videos you've ever put out. Seriously. Because we all do it, we all fall into this insidious trap, and it was so useful to hear it articulated so clearly, along with the antidote.
This video is perfect timing as I am going on a ladies only shopping long weekend with family members this weekend ❤️❤️ only buy things I love … NO this could work items !!
Definitely gotten bitten by the bad online purchase bug. It took two bites but I’m over it.
this first tip is SO helpful!! i feel like ive become much more mindful generally when buying clothing but i've been running into new issues because i need...work clothes! in an industry that is NOT becoming zoom casual like so many it girl brands currently assume everyone is, lol....and being short means i feel like there legitimately isn't anything better than "hmm..it could work" LMAO
More of these please!
Well this hit me in the face! It's true. It could work.. very powerful
Love the added, "I'm a writer," in the intro!
As someone who NEVER returns things (because of the trouble and also knowing that the items are likely to be thrown away rather than reshelved) I've been committing to "make things work" even if they first appear to be not working at all. I did end up gifting some items away mostly because they are simply too large for me as a petite person, but most of the time I ended up loving the things, even though if I saw or tried them in a store I wouldn't have bought or even considered them at all. This has led to twists and inspirations to my personal style, though maybe because I am still experimenting with outfits and silhouette, following some significant lifestyle changes. Maybe I will get to a point when I really KNOW what definitely would work for me, and what falls into the "it could work" category. (I did gradually realize, over the year, more and more things are just never going to work, so I am getting there!)
I love creating lists. On a website. Or add to cart but leave and not buy anything and it's fun! Also if time goes by goes by and I am super thinking of one specific thing I will consider buying it. But I do love just filling up a cart and it almost gives me as much joy as actually buying it :)
Pinterest Is awesome for that. I have thousands pinned on boards that I will never look at again but we're so fun to pin!
I'm watching it again and again and again and again and again to just really soak this in again and again and again 😅
Oh my goodness the timing of this video was perfect!
These are GREAT reminders - thank you! I no longer shop ThredUp but when I was, I always made sure it was an item I could return. Sometimes, I would pay a bit more to ensure the item was returnable. I would add: we have an abundance. (In the US where I am) we are not in a limited resource environment and we are served by growing out of our scarcity mindset for clothing.
You asked in another video about future video ideas. You’re a Tango dancer. I assume Argentine Tango. I’m a WCS dancer. I love quality clothing, some slouchy pieces, high end fabrics, pleated and cigarette pants, bootleg jeans-usually in black, and in my younger years, form fitting LS tops for dancing.
I’ve done some Tango. One big difference is the heeled dance shoes. I never loved heeels, but now I can’t wear them at all, and I have child size feet, so I’m limited to whatever I can find that works on the floor.
I’m hoping you’ll make a video on your dance clothing choices, as I feel unsettled about how to move into a different dance wardrobe. I need more coverage on top now, at the same time that the WCS community is dancing in cropped tees and cargo pants. I’d love any guidelines you’re using, especially if they might overlap into WCS.
I also like to think that each $150 ‘bargain’ that I don’t buy lets me take $150 off a big purchase I might be eyeing off (if that makes sense!) Love your shopping/fashion videos so much xx
Okay. I'll admit I fall into category three a lot. I am thinking I now need to create a Pinterest board of "It could works." I mean the it could work things give me pleasure upon seeing them, but for some reason they aren't totally me. This way I could have them without the purchasing regrets - all tucked away in my little Pinterest closet. Wow. I wonder how much that closet would overlap with my fantasy self closet...
Thank your for that video Hannah!
I’ve been questioning myself a lot about loving a piece of clothing « at first sight ». I try to only buy clothes that I absolutely love, but I think it happened like 3 or 4 times in my life :’) most of the time, I enjoy the piece of clothing, I hesitate and hesitate til I buy it if it is good enough. and then it take me some times to learn to love it. I have several pieces that I bought feeling uncertain, but I started to love after wearing it, and that I absolutely love now. I have to say I’m really exigent on materials and I only buy things that suit my lifestyle.
My 4th red flag would be “it requires tailoring”. Lots of garments waiting for alterations in my closet.
This is so good. You're reading my mail Hannah. For me 'just browsing' gets dangerous because after looking looking looking and not finding, 'it could work' sneaks in there out of frustration, and needing a find. I will now watch for those deadly words 'this could work' sneaking their way in. Thank you! 💖