"Looking for something to want." That statement resonates with me. After sitting in that realization, I've decided I'll be consciously working on spending less time doing that going forward.
One of the biggest things I explain to parents (preschool teacher) is the importance of boredom. It’s from that boredom that creativity blooms. Those quiet moments are the stage for inspiration. So when you have kids complain about being bored, I always say “great! It’s a start!” Or “that’s on you, kid!”
It’s within the limitations and confinements that we learn to work and wind up with some pretty neat things! Plus when we’re constantly bombarded with stimuli, we forget how to exist without it, same goes for kids and adults alike.
This is so true... as someone who was a very bored child, the number of hobbies I have now is endless. However, I will say, half the time a kid may want to do something WITH you. Maybe you can step into that space and do something fun together. I was bored, and that helped my creativity, but I was also pretty lonely and felt neglected when a parent rebuffed me after I declared I was bored. I think a balance there is important.
It’s absolutely a balance! This isn’t permission to be neglectful, and sometimes that’s the hardest part is there doesn’t seem to be a right way but there sure is a lot of wrong ways! It’s always great to find opportunities to have them help, even with mundane tasks, it’s about being together!
I started what I call a "stuff sabbath" day about six months ago and it has been working out great, for me, so I thought I would share. One day a weekend I don't do any social media, no shopping, no organizing, sorting, donating, tending to stuff. I struggle with being able to relax when things are messy and I have two kids so they are always messy. It has been great. I feel more present with my family, and the non-stuff day opens up time for me to be idle (so important!) or do something I enjoy. As a concrete example, last weekend I wasn't able to get to the Christmas decorations on Saturday. Because of my stuff sabbath, I was able to sit and watch a movie with my kid on Sunday, when I normally would have been organizing. I took the decorations down slowly over the week and it was fine. It is amazing how the task fills to the time we allot for it.
Thank you so much for this video, @hannahlouiseposton! I have been feeling exactly the same way. Online Window Shopping is probably my biggest time suck, and a guilty pleasure for sure as it’s usually fun and engaging while I’m doing it but rarely do I feel great afterward. I too have been finding that having a book to read helps. I hadn’t yet thought of concrete ways that I could make structure around online shopping behaviors, but I have been feeling more and more that it’s something I want to get in check this year. I really like your idea of keeping it off-limits during the week, so perhaps I will embark on the project as well… And @emilybreslin3645 “stuff sabbath” was another inspiring idea. 😊
"tending to stuff" - wow, never thought of it this way but yes! nail on the head! SO MUCH TIME goes to tending to *stuff*. I'm going to be more conscious of this now, and look for ways to do less unnecessary tending. I love the idea of a stuff-free day! thank you!
I love this. Would you be willing to tell me what a typical "stuff sabbath" day looks like for you given that there are things that still have to be done (feeding the family, laundry etc). I'm asking because this would be very difficult for me to do and I need an explicit example to help me get my head around it so that I might be able to Iintroduce this concept into my life. 🙏
@@cait2004 Lovely I am glad it resonated! I should give credit to that concept where it is due. I follow The Minimal Mom on youtube. One of her main philosophies is that all of the inventory in our house requires management. It requires storing, cleaning, repairing, knowing where it is when we need it, etc. It all requires time and energy. That rang really true for me. I have really tried to reduce our inventory, and over the past year or so have been really mindful (maybe sometimes militant?) about the stuff coming in to our house.
I’ve been a longtime watcher and supporter of your channel and have always identified so much with many aspects of who you are-a writer who loves beautiful things, who deals with overspending sometimes in order to fill emptiness within and distract from outside despair. But never have I identified more with one of your videos than this one. I became a mother in late 2022 and the amount of time I spent over the last year scrolling, finding something to want, looking for the perfect thing, filling and abandoning carts, and yes, overspending is unconscionable. This year I’m making a concerted effort to read more and scroll less and this video truly had the impact of making me feel like I’m not alone in the struggle. Thank you so much for this.
This is soooo so relatable only without me being a mother. It really hit me know that the browsing and continuous searching is making my lowbuy so hard. It is stealing my time still! So frustrating. But now I also came up with strategies to replace this behaviour. ❤ Good luck
Promoting less screen time while also depending on peoples screen time... that is a bold move! ❤ I feel the same though. I'm doing kind of an extended version of a no buy-year this year, also selling some things that I just never use. Regarding screen time.. my biggest issue is you guys! 😂❤ I follow several creators who I like and love on TH-cam and Instagram and I really do want to watch all their content. But it's just not possible! I get stressed when I see that I have 10 new videos on TH-cam to watch and everyone has done a 30-45 minute video. I just can't watch all of them, even if I really really want to show my support to you all. This year I am choosing more strictly what content I want to see the most and then simply accept missing out on the rest. Mixed feelings because I'm aware that a lot of you depend on views, likes and comments for your income. ❤
PSA for anyone interested: Kimberly Clark is back on YT - with a great new series on how to stop shopping. It's very nuanced and has some mindfulness aspects, and THAT song has now fully evolved into a multi-layered bop.
when you asked instagram about the parka i responded that you should keep it because you were cold and things don’t have to be perfect. i said that because it’s something i’m trying to teach myself. i can use the things i own even if they’re not perfect or “the best” because sometimes good is perfect. like the phrase “done is better than perfect”. idk if i’m making sense. but i find myself using the excuse of wanting to find The Best to justify compulsively shopping.
Can relate: I probably spent 40 hours this week curating my Fragrantica page. I only allow myself to buy one birthday perfume a year, but the research/organization reverie is unreal
Incredibly relatable! I’ve done this very thing! And for my birthday no less. The item curation and the buckets of time to curate the perfect list of items is such a thing that I don’t like to talk about, feels so embarrassing. Glad to feel I’m not alone. What do we do now? ❤
Would it be time saving to try out things in person in store? Obviously it can be difficult to find stuff in stores but I did notice for myself at least going into a store to actually try on things even if it takes some hours is still more helpful, obviously far more real and easy to discern and less tiring than staring at a screen.
“I would rather do ✍️nothing ✍️than online✍️ browse” - sooo true! Loved this video and topic. Once again, we’re spiraling the mountain ⛰️ getting trapped in a cage that only we have the key to. This is so completely relatable. Thank you for reminding me to remember to make space and to breathe in that new, fresh air. I would adore it if you made this into a series - Let’s just sit in silence doing nothing together.
Replacing online window shopping with reading is probably a good one for me too. I have so many books to read, and I just never get around to it. Instead I scroll on my phone or "window" shop. I think actively replacing the search for something to do in idle moments with a reminder that books exist I do actually like reading them is an obvious fix that I just hadn't actively set a rule for. If I'm not doing something specific but I clearly want to be doing something pick up book instead of phone.
I feel this so much! Time and space to do nothing is so precious. My son has autism and I work full time and have used “online shopping “ as a “break” when I am stressed on and off for 11 years! Life is hard, beautiful and short and we don’t want to miss it. 2023 got a bit bad so I’m also doing a low buy and no Instagram in 2024. Love your work.
A list of healthy things to do when "I just can't right now and I need a break" would be so useful! Instead of shopping behaviours and other bad habits I have. Good for you for putting this into effect so effectively!
I came to comments hoping for brainstorming on this & would love a video that expands on the theme of healthy breaks. When I'm too tired to read, I often should take a nap or go to bed early. If I'm too wound up, listening to music or taking a walk are possibilities.
My family is in no-buy mode for January. No discretionary spending. No eating out, no clothing, and no Amazon (except for groceries). We have budgeted for years but had some huge unexpected house expenses in December on top of Christmas, and we just started using YNAB (highly recommend), which reminded us of our financial priorities.
OMGGGGGG you just answered my current frustration with life moving too fast, never enough time to do what NEEDS done! I’ve gained some weight since an injury. I am CONSTANTLY scrolling for clothes that will make me feel the way I used to feel! I get excited 10:56 buy them and then still feel awful!!!! Yet I don’t seem to have time to fix the healthy meal, take the detox bath, do the stretches I can do AND freak out over paying for a massage and healthcare deductible yet just spent over my budget on a cardigan that looks HORRIBLE and of course is non returnable!!!!
I started keeping fish last year, and I've really enjoyed how it encourages me to "do nothing" more often. Sitting down to watch my fish is so engrossing that it's a special kind of meditation
My biggest struggle with stopping online browsing and mindless scrolling is that literally nothing else that feels as easy to do. Your first strategy, reading, often feels much too hard for my ADHD brain. But the idea of replacing scrolling with doing absolutely nothing is immensely exciting to me, especially because I agree - nothing makes me feel more serene than just sitting and staring out of the window. Thank you for another wonderful video!
there are these microlearning things too! like scrolling through lessons/educational material. but staring at trees is definitely just as good, was us ADHDers need nature very deeply to cope with being alive. Solidarity and love to you!
I have been watching you since your no buy year, which in turn inspired me to do a no buy year. You have changed my life (truly) and are the reason I finally started tackling my debt and budgeting. I am now debt free (except for my mortgage). Your content is always thought provoking. You are articulate and speak to my soul. I just wanted to say, as someone who is childfree by choice, I truly appreciate the way in which your channel has not turned into "baby central." Once pregnant so many of my favorite content creators have become, well, not my favorite anymore because their content completely changes! The way you mentioned motherhood and your baby today was an integral part of the video, it leads to your "why" for this project. Of course, I love that you are happy and a mother. I love to see what you share about your baby on instagram and I am so happy for you and Joe. I'm just grateful the HLP content that I know and love has continued.
Was definitely needing this guidance today. I haven't been struggling with internet window shopping for products so much as using the internet for ideas for projects and get so obsessed 'researching' the perfect way to go about a project (makeup looks, knitting, crocheting, audiovisual collage) that I end up thinking thinking thinking and never creating. Will be instituting a similar restrictions and strategies that feel appropriate for my life.
I’ve recently been spending too much time on screens as well, and telling myself “just don’t do it” hasn’t been very effective. I miss the space, time, and calmer affect I had when I wasn’t as online. I think I’ll join you in this project to simply remove an “unhealthy” behavior without having the goal to replace it (yet) with something more “productive.” Your channel has been so illuminating and a real joy to watch over the past year! Wishing you a 2024 filled with contentedness ❤
DRAAAAG ME MS POSTON - your perennial superpower of knowing exactly what I need to hear is once again rearing its beautiful head. I’ve recently moved and, between that and Christmas, have been shopping way more than usual (or my new usual post no buy) and it’s fully activated that ‘searching’ / seeking outside myself part of my brain again. Hadn’t connected all that time to the simultaneous unmanageability I’ve been feeling (more generally in my life and time) but you really hit the nail on the head. Thank you again for not only sharing your experience with us but also doing so in such a clear and communicative way 💚
The idea of doing nothing rather than reaching for my phone to fill any and all empty space feels almost rebellious, and I love it. I am going to try and incorporate this into my days.
Hannah- I don’t often write comments on videos. But I am doing a no buy year. I watched all of your videos to prepare for my low buy and I just want to say thank you! You have changed my life! I hope you have a wonderful year!
This is exactly me. Time. It’s adding so much stress, adding to errands, creating shopping pressure, and I’m avoiding my life and personal goals. I can’t get that wasted time back. It’s bad habits. You verbalized all I have been thinking of for the past two months. I have a rule that I can shop after exercise, work and so long as I am rested. High bar! Thank you for your video!!
This topic could not have come at a better time! I think we're at different stages of life but these feelings of wanting to simplify the spaces around us are the same. Thanks for bringing this up!
For me, shopping has never been a problem; but consuming your thoughtful content this past year and going back to watch your no-buy, made me realize what IS a problem for me: and it's screen time--particularly, mobile games. I know *very* well the feeling of not being able to deal with life and turning to your phone for comfort. I lost so many days and weeks of my life, watching it fly by like you described, and feeling like there just wasn't enough time: because half of my time was spent in a screen sinkhole. And this last August, I followed a no-buy framework and cut out phone games! A no-game, if you will. Some things are okay, some things are once/twice a day, but most are just big fat 'no's. The shift in my life as a whole because of this has been so wonderful, (and I really thank your no-buy example for that) so I'm so excited for you in this next step of limiting shopping behaviors and freeing up more time for yourself! Getting my time back has been one of the greatest gifts of my no-game experience, and I'm incredibly hopeful for the space and time you'll make for yourself in the coming weeks. ❤
Games are tough for me too, especially when I feel like I’m not achieving what I want because my goals are long term. The short term wins are like snacking.
Every time I come to your channel, I always gain a new perspective. I watched this video and then deleted the rest of the remaining games off of my phone as well as Tik Tok. When I look back at my life, I truly do not want to remember having spent countless hours playing mindless game and watching junk food content. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, about how I want to spend time and how I want to create a "life worth living" for myself. Your video just reinforced that for me.
Thank you for this video Hannah. Your struggles are very relatable. Oftentimes i try to implement too many changes all at once and end up giving up, so allowing yourself to be idle rather than forcing a positive habit is a great idea - small steps are the way forward. I also started reading books on my phone. This way i don't have to turn on another device, I can simply access different app on my screen and stop myself from mindless browsing. Good luck to you and to everyone else who's trying to regain some control over how they spend time and money 😊
I have two projects/resolutions this year: 1: a $40 per month snack budget to become more mindful of how much i spend on snacks & how much i eat them in lieu of meals. So far I've noticed a lot of times where i wish i had a savory/nonsweet bread to "tide me over" while i do things like dishes in order to cook, but i dont end up doing the dishes or cooking 🤨 2: going outside for a social reason at least once a month. This one's going well, i spent eight hours hanging out with my firend yesterday and we have plans again for two weeks from now, and im smiling a lot more even just while puttering around my apartment
Oh, yes. I hear you. Just one example, I have spent hours and hours looking at midi length puffer and other padded coats on line this winter without buying one. I have a padded waterproof coat that is still in great condition and fits me. Any occasion I could wear this coat I have been looking for, my current one would totally work. I know this and I decided at the start of the winter I wouldn't buy another coat in that category this year. So why am I looking for one still? Meanwhile I want to exercise more, cook more, study Italian, do yoga, go dancing etc... but I don't have enough time. I even distract myself while watching something on TV and have to rewind because I missed something because I was looking for a coat I wasn't going to buy!!! I always enjoy your channel, but I will be watching with particular interest this year.
Shopping behavior has been my long time crutch as well! I like the idea of shopping/buying only on the weekend. I find that when I can buy something quickly and make a decision, it's so much easier on my mind than when I do too much research and hem and haw. It feels like my life and brain dont have the space for it and I keep trying to shove it in
This has been super helpful. It made me realize that I watch a lot of declutter (mostly makeup) videos as a way of getting reviews on products and filling my time and justifying it by saying "well, this person is getting rid of things so it's anti-consumerist" when I'm absolutely using it for consumerist reasons.
Hey Hannah, I'm a new subscriber, and 3 minutes into this video I had to pause to let you know - thank you for making this video. This type of content is incredibly relevant to me. I only began getting into makeup a couple of years ago, around the same time that I began to struggle with some chronic health conditions. My "shopping behaviors" around makeup/beauty have been a little piece of joy/escape for me, but it has resulted in some really bad habits - I absolutely feel you re: the Search for that perfect item. I can't wait to learn more and I hope I can implement some of the things you suggest. Thank you for such a thoughtful, introspective, and honest video. xo *edited to include Hannah's verbiage of "shopping behaviors" and going along with her definition of those*
In November i decreased my work contract to 90% FTE, and i take every other Friday off. This is me day. I do not touch stuff, i do not clean, i do not slave around the house, although i must say that i really enjoy chores, and having a clean and organized space makes me feel good. The truth is, having these 10% to me only cost me 10% of my income. This time is precious to me and i am not willing to whizz through it with a to-do or to-buy list in hand.
Thank you so much for this, Hannah! My project for this year is to stop the mindless TH-cam watching. Intentional TH-cam watching-for example, watching my favorite content creators who have more to say than just buy, buy, buy, is fine. But I have already failed miserably because I didn’t know what to do instead, and by the end of the day after working a nine-hour day writing and editing, my eyes are too tired to read. Thank you for the idea of doing nothing! Long story, but before Covid, I did not have a TV. I got a TV during Covid because I thought I would need one to know what was going on in the world during the lockdown. Biggest mistake ever! 😊😂 I was so much better off when I would spend the evenings sitting out on the deck, listening to the birds, or like you said, just looking out the window.❤
Oooh, I really like this idea and approach, so I think I'll join you. However, I think I'll add watching TH-cam to my "shopping behaviour", and I'll call it "the wanting mind" (which I think is Buddhist, but I learned it from Tara Brach) instead. It's that search for something ease the internal pressure, the sinking feeling I've been having lately because of what's happening in the world, and the confusion that comes with everything. For me, I think The Wanting Mind feels great because it's focusing on something concrete and tangible, and it's giving me this sense of hope (I'll look good in this blush, this will help my oily skin, I'll be so warm in this sweater, etc.). Although I don't like it now, I hope that I'll be able to look at it as a guide in the future, telling me that I need comfort and support, and that I'll be able to give myself that in more constructive ways than spending time on TH-cam and shopping. Thank you for a great video, as always!
You’re such a fresh of breath air. This video hits hard because everything you said happens to me. Thank you for being so transparent with us. We’re constantly evolving and I appreciate you for sharing your experience and your plan on how to overcome this.
I'm only two minutes into the video, but i came to that spiral of growth conclusion on my own a couple years back. I love that its a buddhist teaching. I'm taking it as a sign that I'm on the right path :)
I absolutely adore the strategy of doing nothing. I remember an old Leena Norms video where she talked about (maybe a poet/book?) that referenced that there are some pockets of time where you just need to put yourself on ice and be there, still - it is incredibly healing! Thanks for this, it inspired me to rethink my pie chart as well 😅❤
Ok, I'm about to do some processing and thinking out loud in this comment! This is EXACTLY where I am right now, just so so exactly. For me it is also not money or space, but time. I have been tracking all the clothes I buy since 2018. In 2019 I bought 151 items. Yes, 151! Since then, I have been committed to cutting down. 2020 I bought 50 (and it was really hard cutting down to a third - I did a lot of work that year) then in 2021 I bought 21. But in 2022 I went back up to 50 and in 2023 I bought 44, so though I have done a lot of work on this and I am proud of myself, I still need to cut down a lot. I've also been working on having a 100 piece wardrobe. That is counting absolutely everything except underwear - clothes, shoes, bags, coats, jewellery, accessories, loungewear, workout stuff, gardening clothes, Halloween costumes - truly EVERYTHING. I am hovering around 111 right now and hope to hit 100 by the end of the year, in part as things wear out. It feels good to use things to the end of their life! There are a couple of gaps, both practical (I will need new hiking boots this year) and emotional (I really want a perfect white blouse) but I am at a stage where I really love almost everything. It's a cohesive style and colour palette and I feel great in it. So buying 50 things a year like I have the last couple of years is, in other words, replacing half of my wardrobe. This is not ethical or sustainable or even, quite frankly, what I want to do. I have to remember that: as I'm so strict and numbers focused, everything new I bring in is going to knock something else out. And I look at my clothes and can't think of anything I WANT to take out. So there's really no space for new, right? On that note: I have been debating a complete no buy this year. I thought I was ready (as ready as you can be, I guess) but I am still going back and forth on it, a LOT. For the first couple of weeks this year, I have been on track. I have not bought anything and I had not opened eBay or Vinted even once. But the last couple of days I have started looking again and adding things to the folder on my desktop that serves as my wishlist. This has happened after a couple of bad nights where I got very little sleep - I know it's the tiredness talking. When I am so low or exhausted, clothes browsing feels like a nice thing I can do without taking too much energy. But it very soon stops feeling nice. And I don't want to fall back into that insidious pattern of browsing and scrolling and favouriting. I want to do actual things with my life! I want to walk by the sea! I want to play board games with my husband! I want to go to choir practise! I want to make some new friends this year! So I really need to keep a lid on that. It's a time suck and an energy suck and, weirdly, a creativity suck, too. I might try habit tracking for this one, you know. It's helping for other things, so a little row of ticks for the days I don't browse might be inspiring here, too. I am having a very difficult mental health time lately with terrifying panic attacks and I want to respect this and not put too much pressure on myself to be perfect. Previously even the thought of a no buy has left me feeling panicked and, while it doesn't right now, I know that I need to be a bit careful with myself, a bit gentle. So while I feel good at the moment about not shopping, a complete no buy for 2024 is truly too much to expect from myself at this point in my life. I think that's ok. Maybe instead of complete no buy, I will limit myself to 12 pieces (one thing a month) or 5 pieces (Rule of 5), as I recently read that's what we should all be cutting down to for the environment. I feel good about those numbers but I am going to try to commit to a no buy January first. I read a quote recently about sobriety where she was saying that she didn't choose to give up alcohol forever - she just chooses not to drink today. This has worked for her for 30 years. I can't believe how strongly this has resonated with me. I have thought about it so often! Today is all we really have, you know? So today I'm not going to buy any clothes. Tomorrow I can decide again.
I stayed up til 1.30am last night looking at my laptop "in a shopping way". I needed this! I could have done something more worthwhile like reading a book, or sleeping.
My therapist recommended writing a self care list, which I think would totally work for this project. I have a list full of activities that are self care to me, from really low effort (burning a candle, drinking a glass of water, reading, knitting, sitting in the garden) to high effort (taking a walk, meditating, yoga). Whenever I feel really anxious (or in this case: when you feel like doing shopping behaviors), I take the list and ask myself what I can manage in that moment. Ever since I have been using this list (I keep it in a very visible place in my living room) I have noticed I am much more likely to choose a healthy habit over an unhealthy one. It's like my brain needs a little reminder of what's actually going to help me, so having my little self care menu really works. :)
I relate so hard to the multi-week search for a very specific item as a distraction. 😅 Most of the time I don’t buy it! But that somehow makes it worse for me, mentally. Like I spent all that time and it’s clearly something I never even needed or wanted. Meditation is something I also want to get back to. Thank you for the uncomfortable reminder!
I definitely have a tendency to ruminate over potential purchases. I can spend way too much time searching for the perfect item at the best price. Then I ruminate over whether I should spend the money. Often, by the time I finally decide to buy the thing, it's either unavailable or the price has gone up. 🙄 So I'm working on making faster decisions and not being a perfectionist. Because as you pointed out, time and attention are easily wasted browsing and (in my case) ruminating.
It is so lovely to listen to a woman who has retained her sense of self and her capacity to view all aspects of life equally, after having a child. You continue to inspire and reassure me with your content and your perspective ❤
This made me smile, I remember these times. My oldest of 4 is now 24 years old. And when they say time flies, this is what they mean it’s after you have kids. I was reminiscing just yesterday scrolling through old pics. ❤ Enjoy your child let everything else come secondary, these are times you’ll never get back and you will miss one day. The rest all comes back around later; shopping, traveling, work, socializing… of course balance what you can.🌺 Best wishes on your new journey😊
Can you do a more generalized goal setting video? I know it’s not related to beauty, but you’re so gentle and kind to yourself with setting this goal of less online shopping, I’d love to hear how you approach other ambitions.
I have been thinking about how much time I spend consuming content, which does include browsing, but I've also gotten into the habit of always having a youtube video on in the background. I think I am going to find a way to work no-content time into my day
This is amazing. I have literally figured out/started the same thing this year - I realised just how important 'doing nothing' was because that's the space where you can actually hear yourself and it is much easier to go on from there. I would always feel that I had to do *something*, which would often lead me to endless scrolling when I didn't have an immediate answer to ''what should I do next?' I have trouble with anxiety and for a long time I've been trying to stave it off by scrolling, until I realised I was actually making it worse. Nothingness, on the other hand, helps me soothe it. In some ways, just doing nothing feels like a very base form of meditation.
I have gone off the rails lately with shopping. I’m doing no buy January but that hasn’t stopped me from being on Etsy and poshmark constantly for items of clothing I have wishlisted over the past handful of years. I recently added up all of the money I spent last year in extraneous “beautiful things” and it was a lot. I think the thing that contributed most to the over spending was the fact that I was on these websites more seeing what was on offer and being so allured by them. As long as I’m looking I’m bound to find something I want. So I deleted the apps for the month.. we’ll see if I want to continue on.
It's interesting that in some ways your less shopping actually parallels my less social media. I'm still letting myself watch a small amount of creators, but have disabled youtube and chrome from my phone, which has also in turn lessened how much I'm shopping as I'm in the state of wanting when I'm mindlessly watching youtube. (Frankly, I can't give up watching you as it would be too much of a disservice to myself to stop watching the person that inspired me to bite the bullet) I'm letting myself watch anime more now but hope to slowly sew, journal, draw and read more, but after watching this am realizing I'm also doing "nothing" more now and it's been pretty great. I don't notice life passing me by so heavily, even though I'm still in the habit of looking for something to numb my brain lol
I am on a similar journey. I am slowing becoming a more minimal & conscience spender because I like the space & the ability to keep things tidy. Cutting clutter makes me feel good & to relax I listen to a-lot of podcasts while I walk my pup.
Very timely. Yesterday evening i trialled a no screen time after the work day. For me the problem isnt shopping related it's entirely entertainment but 'm becoming aware that it's straining my brain and eyes and sucking my time. Yesterday i put my classical playlist on low because silence felt too heavy and did a lot of reading, a bit of sewing and had a long everything bath. In advance I had planned to do it every Tuesday but im now thinking perhaps more often
I have lived in small places which required I ask “where am I going to put this or what am I going to get rid of in order to have this” over every purchase. It was good training but I have to remind myself to go back to it every now and again. I’m in a good place right now, the past couple years I’ve been on a quest to develop a skincare routine that really helped my dry, sensitive (skin cancer prone) skin. I think I have found a good, affordable, routine now. I found myself filling the time I had been researching ingredients looking at clothes online. I ordered a bunch recently. When the items came, I tried them on and asked myself whether I needed or really wanted this particular garment. I returned everything except a couple T-shirts.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my own spending behaviors last year and going into this year. While I’ve made some strides in changing and challenging my own spending tendencies I’ve also started to become more observant of how I spend my time and the way shopping occupies my mind. I think this is a great challenge to set for yourself. For myself I am keeping a journal of my spending and I’m giving each transaction a star rating which is helping me to look more at my mood and emotions when I’ve shopped. I also am soo grateful for this community. There are always such wonderful discussions and we are all supporting each other. Also Hannah, I was intrigued by what you said about from the nothingness comes poetry. As someone who is trying to start writing I’ve found my shopping tends to be a way to run from the silence or nothingness. I think challenging myself to also live within that space of nothing will help me evolve as a writer. Thanks for sharing your journey and updates. ❤️ I’m always so appreciative!
I noticed that one reason I indulge in 'shopping behaviours' when I'm stressed or bored is because it uses many facets of the mind. These behaviours allow me to 'discover' new things, ideas, or activities (which can be tucked away in my memory for future reference); to delight in stimulating visual, creative, or intellectual content; to indulge in fantasy planning. These behaviours require critical thinking, math, & decision making skills. It keeps my mind occupied, my creative senses alert, and generates a feeling of interacting with the world. The last couple of years when I've noticed myself 'deep diving' into online consumer researching, I physically get up and start looking for something to declutter - thus marshalling those restless mental acuities to break the spell of glassy-eyed browsing & gathering.
What you said about time resonated so much with me. I don't really engage with social media mainly because TH-cam has already sucked enough of my time. There are creators I love watching, and videos that have really broadened my perspective, but it doesn't negate that it overall feels like I'm just spending too much time. I've been thinking for a while about needing to find some way of limiting the amount of time, and this video just emphasized that for me. Especially that in the end, it's not truly restful and is that "damaging something." Also, "out of nothingness that the evolution of the self arises and out of that nothingness poetry comes" was beautiful and feels like uncovering a facet of the truth of being human.
This is great. It appears to be a trend everyone, including myself, have set as a goal for 2024. The one thing I did which helped a lot was unsubscribing from store/brand emails. Out of sight, out of mind. And quality over quantity - 100%. I ask myself "Is this something I would wear/use every day. Is this something I will wear/use in 10 years". So far, I am feeling good with these life changes which I started about 6 months ago.
love that idea of the spiralling journey! It makes sense too: sometimes it feels like I backtrack or have a "relapse" (not just in bad habits but more so mental health) but it's just that we have to confront ourselves again and again and probably a bit better every time! I'm on a forced no-buy/low-buy since I've been on benefits for a while now, it's actually been SUPER handy since I've been kind of an overspender (FASHION, SHOES
Ugh. “Looking for the thing to want”. That’s so me. Thank you for articulating where you’re at as it helps me clarify further what it is I’m really really doing and why
I have been on a bit of an anti-capitalist/declutter/no buy journey and as a person who likes mantras and slogans, my latest one is "shopping is housework". Has really helped reframe it as a task I have to do as a person who needs things to live, rather than a hobby I can indulge in for fun. Has been really helpful
I have been thinking about the problematic nature of browsing. I usually do it when I'm bored. I need to find another way to entertain myself. I also tend to want to shop when I'm tired. I've learned to say no to late night purchases and shopping when I haven't had enough rest. I am more impulsive when I need more sleep. I'm not on a no buy project. I am working to pay a sizable credit card dowm by June though, so most of my money will be going to that for a while.
I use a data driven approach to no buys. I review my most worn clothing from the past 1-2 years, identify my most worn brands or clothing stores from the clothing, and then limit my browsing to those stores. I also keep mini capsules for work and leisure, so I know what I have and what I need. From there, this dramatically decreases my need to shop and browse. I love it!
Such a great video. Thanks! I’ve committed myself to the Rule of 5 Challenge for 2024: for environmental & anti-consumerism reasons, limiting new clothing purchases to 5 for the year & allowing myself no more than 4 secondhand purchases as well. Limiting my online browsing, as you suggested, would be immensely helpful to meet my own 2024 challenge, so I plan to adopt that strategy too.
Currently snowed in and did a lot of browsing/shopping. Didn’t actually buy anything but keeping tabs on what I want to buy in the future, what things I like, new categories of things to buy. It’s so easy, but thank you for this inspiration.
Ah, yes… worshipping the god of Materialism. I am familiar. I’m always pulled to shop when I’m unhappy. I’m DEFINITELY trying to distract myself from my feelings with a cheap hit of seratonin or dopamine. (I forget which)….. Shopping addiction is alive and well in our consumerist society. And, it’s kind of like an eating disorder. You can’t just stop eating. People on drugs can quit and completely cut that behavior out of their lives. But, we will always need stuff. Things get worn down. We grow out of them, we use it up. It’s not as easy balancing act. I really applaud you for bringing a spotlight to this issue and sharing your own journey with us.
I needed this! I have a chronic illness and also a dog, and I’m finding at the moment that ive been doing almost “revenge bedtime procrastination”, but at any time of day. I think having her, although she adds so much love to my life, means that with the little energy I have in spreading between the two of us, and I often crash before I get to do “my” things, after I’ve done hers
I do absolutely get it. I prefer owning less and spent so much time on doing research. The best item regarding quality, durability and impact on our planet. I felt overwhelmed or frustrated due to far to many or nor options at all. I had to "allow" myself being less disciplined and following my principles a little bit less. Quelle surprise! Nowadays I do not shop uncontrolled or crappy items as I have learned to identify true quality over the course of the years. I do simply no longer spend hours on one simple purchase. Trust in your taste and in knowing yourself.
Oh gosh i needed to hear this. Ive been recovering from a two year long bought of autistic burnout and for the first year i was using endlessly scrolling the internet to self sooth (it wasnt all shopping behaviors but a lot of it was), but it doesnt actually provide my brain the deep rest it needs. This year has been a long slow process of reconnecting with myself and all the activities that used to make me happy. Im excited to see how this journey goes for you and wishing you all the best ❤
A lot of people, including myself, seem to be going through something similar at the moment...we are all deciding to spend less time online because theee are other things we want and need to do with that time and energy. It's so interesting to see. I don't have kids or spend lots of time online shopping, but I'm making similar changes because I'm spending too much time online doing other things...chasing interesting content essentially. It's robbing me of some great things. So it needs to be reigned in, just like you concluded. *edit* I wanted to add, that I think a lot of this behavior is because we use it as an escape or distraction. And because we have done it so automatically in the past it's so easy to fall back into it every time. Anyway, life and the world has been a lot and weird and I think we are using screen time as an escape.
I found your videos through Kackie always talking about you haha. I went back and watched how your no buy year changed your life and it motivated me to try it for myself this year with my own rules and intentions. I love your shopping content and if you haven’t heard it yet today, You have helped me. Thank you for doing what you do, in the way that you do it!!
This was exactly what I was thinking about for the upcoming year -- half my time isn't taken up by childcare but it is being taken up by a different life project (community leadership). So I'm trying to reconfigure the rest of my work and personal and inner life. This was so so helpful to hear and I'm looking forward to seeing how this goes for you, and doing something similar along with you.
Thank you for the food for thought in this video! My clothes nobuy is starting ok. I do a lot of browsing and "window" shopping online but without the urge to buy. But I don't want to rush it and tolerate my behaviour so far. When I circle back to this point on my learning journey I will work on my screen time. I bought the first things outside of my nobuy categories. I just bought the things I intended to buy and didn't add anything at the last minute. Just buying one thing and paying shipping for it feels weird but adding things I don't need and paying ultimately way more money is objectively more unwise.
Your no buy year is how I first found your channel. I really love how your content has evolved! I definitely need to curb my behaviour when it comes to shopping in 2024! My issue area is art and craft supplies! I also have issues browsing which eventually leads to shopping.
I’m in a similar place and I’ve been having very much the same thought. With kids and work requiring (and deserving) the bulk of my time, what precious few moments of me time I have are frequently spent staring at a screen. Your content has been transformative for me over the last few years. I’ve made marked changes in how I consume-content, material possessions, ideas, etc . I’ve developed routines I enjoy and basked in the glory of the small things in life that make me happy…whether that’s the chunky knit of a sweater or the subtle scent of my favorite perfume. Having less has made a HUGE impact on my sanity (I have a cross country move to thank for the great stuff purge of 2023 lol). I’m stuck with the thought that I’m addicted to screen time but I also greatly enjoy it. I love browsing Facebook marketplace looking for the perfect vintage furniture item to fill our new home with warmth and texture. I’ve had loads of fun creating my own version of a capsule wardrobe and learning about sustainability and the second hand market. I also scroll way too much on who knows what. So how do I manage the good-the learning, exploring, self-expression fun bits-without feeding the mindless scrolling monster who lives in my head and doesn’t let me actually live life as it happens? I wish I could call up that proverbial mountain and chat with the me on the next loop. I lost me for a bit, to work and post partum depression, mostly. I’m so excited to have me back and find new ways to be joyful in existence. I guess I’m afraid if I cut out too much of the screen portal I’ll miss out on something great, but if I DONT cut out screen time, I’ll miss out on something great. Anyone else up this mountain a few turns have some good advice? How do you find balance amid the chaos?
Interestingly, I have started a no-buy year. Well, I started one back on November 1st and it's going really well. I kind of did the most with gift-giving this year, but it was all sanctioned and I didn't go over budget. I did go to the edge of the budget, just not over. HOWEVER, I just three days ago broke my no but for one thing - a timed cell phone lock box because my screen time has been off the charts. It has also cut into time with my little. I have found that I want to sit and scroll instead of sit and play with him because I just can't at the end of the day. I work with cancer patients and it's heavy. At the end of the day all I want to do lately is scroll and the habit has been out of control. So I had been thinking about this lock box thing to use after work in the evenings and then Julia mentioned it in this week's lesson so I took it as a sign. I'm not worried about this spinning me out buying-wise and going back on the no-buy has already happened. I consider this $25 break in the no-buy an emergency buy to be honest. Such a timely video 💓 always nice to hear you aren't alone in your struggles.
During the peak of the pandemic, I found I was spending a lot of time on screens because my pie chart opened up while I was laid off. I was spending a lot of time watching TH-cam, which consequently made me want to purchase a lot of items I wouldn't have otherwise considered. After I went back to work, I was still spending almost all of my spare time watching TH-cam. I chose to limit my TH-cam time to overlap with other tasks. I don't just watch TH-cam videos anymore. I watch one while I get ready in the morning, or fold laundry, or was the dishes, or I listen to one on the boring parts of my daily walks. I found I was able to spend my time taking care of the things I needed to take care of, and still enjoy some screen time without making it my focus and choosing it over and above the rest of my life tasks.
This video helped to put into words something that I struggle with as well--"shopping behavior"! I have never had an actual spending or overbuying problem, but I do spend too many hours a week browsing or window-shopping online as a form of catharsis.
I've been mindlessly scrolling pointless videos for the past few months, sometimes for hours at a time. Very timely video, I definitely need to consider how to curb my "shopping behaviors" too!
I changed my relationships to social media in 2020 and rediscovered some of the joy of doing nothing, in being a little bored. I don't quite know how to explain it, but it was like opening a window and realizing that it's morning and the sun is shining. It illuminated a lot of stuff, good and bad.
Shopping Behaviors is my real problem too - even if my DOLLAR SPEND is notably reduced, my TIME SPEND is wayyyyy increased. Love this angle of the conversation. Thank you for walking through it! 💜
I'm going to be doing 6-months of no buying this year. Spread throughout the year. I tried this month and got a little swept away with some emotional spending and procrastination buying. But the biggest takeaway that I got from this month is just bc you shop today, doesn't mean you have to shop tomorrow. "failing" a no-buy doesn't mean toy have to quit! So though I did shop this month, I've had 20 days of no shopping. Going to try a full month for Feb!
This video really connected personally, my focus in 2024 is 'be more present with my life' and I am doing this by focusing on health and connection (with self and others), examining my intentions with time, space, things etc. I am struggling with the online/social media and how often it activates my desire to seek out, look for something to want and redirect this to more present focus. I have increased my yoga, listening to music with my morning coffee rather than scrolling, and training my dog :) she loves me being more present with my life. lol. great video, thanks for all that you do!
Such a good comment! Good luck! ❤ I also sing in choir and this is such a valuable hobby. I want to spend more time with things that improve my life and mental health.
I am always amazed how you are able to articulate something so well.. often times something that probably only lives in my unconcious; behaviour that I only recognize when you start talking about it. I am a mother myself and escape into my phone (browsing.. often for things my toddler might need) way too often. I need to make an effort to escape this vicious circle of trying to escape the stress (via shopping/browsing) without the result of being relaxed. Often I am even more stressed afterwards because there are actions I have to take after a purchase (go somewhere to pick it up, return it, post it etc.) I am always thankful for your thoughts and your ability to articulate and relay them so well! Wish you and your family all the best for 2024.
I am starting a health year. Started slowly in October-November. But not a regular one, with loose weight. I have been very Ill so I slowly have been trying to get off my medication and instead doing things that I hope will help me with staying off the meds. Soo making more of the time when I don’t have to rest and the time I am resting but awake is my goal. Much like you! Without meds I need to sleep and rest a lot, so how do I make the rest of the time as optimal as possible. I Fast and I have screen free days. My hubbs and I have also deciderat to have screen free weekends. I am also preparering for maybe a no buy year next year. Not only cloths but books! I have a big very good library close by so I hope to slowly get into the habit of going there. I always do like this. Mentally and physicly prepare myself for whats coming next. So first of January I will be on the way and I will avoid the February failior! As I already know what boundaries I can live with and that I have the strength to keep it up…
I can definitely relate to this! My husband & I don't want kids and earn a comfortable amount of money, and I feel like I'm a very discerning shopper and really make a conscious effort to be mindful about the things I bring into my life. So we are coming from a similar place in terms of our current relationship with acquiring new things, although I definitely have more time at my disposal. But I definitely get that feeling sometimes that I've lost hours of my time to scrolling and browsing. I do spend a lot of time on my hobbies as well, but my problem can come down to discipline. For example if I'm going to work at the office my morning routine is very structured and I have a bit of free time worked into it because I wake up early. But on days when I'm working from home and don't have to get myself ready to leave the house or eat breakfast at a particular time, etc, I can really just devolve and spend my whole morning on my laptop without doing anything meaningful with my time right up until I start work. It's actually when I have more free time that I find myself wasting more of it, and I have caught myself doing it at times and recognised that I want to get a handle on it. Like you have wisely said (which has lived in my brain ever since) - the hobby is enjoying the thing, not shopping for the thing.
Why does doing nothing sound so luxurious? Thank you Hannah. The time I spend on online browsing has been the most damaging part of shopping for me for a while. You explaining your method for approaching it makes me motivated to come up with my own method. I may also want to examine my perfectionism - and why I want the perfect item and what I think the perfect item will give to me.
I'm in a weird space where I'm happy with my wardrobe, and aside from some nice to have items, don't need anything. I'm now a little obsessed with East Fork Pottery, thanks to you, but I'm keeping myself from buying a full slate of dishes all at once. (we have the same dishes both of us came to the marriage with, and they were already a decade old at that time... I have no guilt over finally buying "real" dishes) But yeah, I feel like I've spent too much time researching stuff I don't need or even want. I've spent way too much time playing games on my phone. And I've not spent nearly enough time reading and getting outside.
Damn, I really needed to hear this. Reducing screen time is so hard to face for some reason. But I agree, I want my mind to be free of the screen entrapment too!
"Looking for something to want." That statement resonates with me. After sitting in that realization, I've decided I'll be consciously working on spending less time doing that going forward.
Me too. That's the statement that stuck. It's pretty eye opening.
One of the biggest things I explain to parents (preschool teacher) is the importance of boredom. It’s from that boredom that creativity blooms. Those quiet moments are the stage for inspiration. So when you have kids complain about being bored, I always say “great! It’s a start!” Or “that’s on you, kid!”
It’s within the limitations and confinements that we learn to work and wind up with some pretty neat things! Plus when we’re constantly bombarded with stimuli, we forget how to exist without it, same goes for kids and adults alike.
Perhaps im mean but i always say only boring people stay bored.... You word it much better!! 😂 will use yours 😂
This is so true... as someone who was a very bored child, the number of hobbies I have now is endless. However, I will say, half the time a kid may want to do something WITH you. Maybe you can step into that space and do something fun together. I was bored, and that helped my creativity, but I was also pretty lonely and felt neglected when a parent rebuffed me after I declared I was bored. I think a balance there is important.
I tell my kids, "Cool, it's okay to be bored." It rarely lasts very long, they find something new to do pretty quickly
It’s absolutely a balance! This isn’t permission to be neglectful, and sometimes that’s the hardest part is there doesn’t seem to be a right way but there sure is a lot of wrong ways! It’s always great to find opportunities to have them help, even with mundane tasks, it’s about being together!
I started what I call a "stuff sabbath" day about six months ago and it has been working out great, for me, so I thought I would share. One day a weekend I don't do any social media, no shopping, no organizing, sorting, donating, tending to stuff. I struggle with being able to relax when things are messy and I have two kids so they are always messy. It has been great. I feel more present with my family, and the non-stuff day opens up time for me to be idle (so important!) or do something I enjoy. As a concrete example, last weekend I wasn't able to get to the Christmas decorations on Saturday. Because of my stuff sabbath, I was able to sit and watch a movie with my kid on Sunday, when I normally would have been organizing. I took the decorations down slowly over the week and it was fine. It is amazing how the task fills to the time we allot for it.
this is incredible. thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you so much for this video, @hannahlouiseposton! I have been feeling exactly the same way. Online Window Shopping is probably my biggest time suck, and a guilty pleasure for sure as it’s usually fun and engaging while I’m doing it but rarely do I feel great afterward. I too have been finding that having a book to read helps. I hadn’t yet thought of concrete ways that I could make structure around online shopping behaviors, but I have been feeling more and more that it’s something I want to get in check this year. I really like your idea of keeping it off-limits during the week, so perhaps I will embark on the project as well… And @emilybreslin3645 “stuff sabbath” was another inspiring idea. 😊
"tending to stuff" - wow, never thought of it this way but yes! nail on the head! SO MUCH TIME goes to tending to *stuff*. I'm going to be more conscious of this now, and look for ways to do less unnecessary tending. I love the idea of a stuff-free day! thank you!
I love this. Would you be willing to tell me what a typical "stuff sabbath" day looks like for you given that there are things that still have to be done (feeding the family, laundry etc). I'm asking because this would be very difficult for me to do and I need an explicit example to help me get my head around it so that I might be able to Iintroduce this concept into my life. 🙏
@@cait2004 Lovely I am glad it resonated! I should give credit to that concept where it is due. I follow The Minimal Mom on youtube. One of her main philosophies is that all of the inventory in our house requires management. It requires storing, cleaning, repairing, knowing where it is when we need it, etc. It all requires time and energy. That rang really true for me. I have really tried to reduce our inventory, and over the past year or so have been really mindful (maybe sometimes militant?) about the stuff coming in to our house.
I’ve been a longtime watcher and supporter of your channel and have always identified so much with many aspects of who you are-a writer who loves beautiful things, who deals with overspending sometimes in order to fill emptiness within and distract from outside despair. But never have I identified more with one of your videos than this one. I became a mother in late 2022 and the amount of time I spent over the last year scrolling, finding something to want, looking for the perfect thing, filling and abandoning carts, and yes, overspending is unconscionable. This year I’m making a concerted effort to read more and scroll less and this video truly had the impact of making me feel like I’m not alone in the struggle. Thank you so much for this.
💗
You can do it. ❤
Exactly all the words hit
This is soooo so relatable only without me being a mother. It really hit me know that the browsing and continuous searching is making my lowbuy so hard. It is stealing my time still! So frustrating. But now I also came up with strategies to replace this behaviour. ❤ Good luck
Promoting less screen time while also depending on peoples screen time... that is a bold move! ❤
I feel the same though. I'm doing kind of an extended version of a no buy-year this year, also selling some things that I just never use.
Regarding screen time.. my biggest issue is you guys! 😂❤ I follow several creators who I like and love on TH-cam and Instagram and I really do want to watch all their content. But it's just not possible! I get stressed when I see that I have 10 new videos on TH-cam to watch and everyone has done a 30-45 minute video. I just can't watch all of them, even if I really really want to show my support to you all. This year I am choosing more strictly what content I want to see the most and then simply accept missing out on the rest. Mixed feelings because I'm aware that a lot of you depend on views, likes and comments for your income. ❤
PSA for anyone interested: Kimberly Clark is back on YT - with a great new series on how to stop shopping. It's very nuanced and has some mindfulness aspects, and THAT song has now fully evolved into a multi-layered bop.
yesss! love kimberly clark so much - they’re a genius
I am more than the material🎵🎶
Teriallllllll 😍
@@clandestinecoherenceinterestingly enough, his pronouns are he/him. I looked it up on his website.
Just came from her newest video! 😄
when you asked instagram about the parka i responded that you should keep it because you were cold and things don’t have to be perfect. i said that because it’s something i’m trying to teach myself. i can use the things i own even if they’re not perfect or “the best” because sometimes good is perfect. like the phrase “done is better than perfect”. idk if i’m making sense. but i find myself using the excuse of wanting to find The Best to justify compulsively shopping.
"Looking for something to want" really speaks to me.
Can relate: I probably spent 40 hours this week curating my Fragrantica page. I only allow myself to buy one birthday perfume a year, but the research/organization reverie is unreal
Incredibly relatable! I’ve done this very thing! And for my birthday no less. The item curation and the buckets of time to curate the perfect list of items is such a thing that I don’t like to talk about, feels so embarrassing. Glad to feel I’m not alone. What do we do now? ❤
Would it be time saving to try out things in person in store? Obviously it can be difficult to find stuff in stores but I did notice for myself at least going into a store to actually try on things even if it takes some hours is still more helpful, obviously far more real and easy to discern and less tiring than staring at a screen.
“I would rather do ✍️nothing ✍️than online✍️ browse” - sooo true! Loved this video and topic. Once again, we’re spiraling the mountain ⛰️ getting trapped in a cage that only we have the key to. This is so completely relatable. Thank you for reminding me to remember to make space and to breathe in that new, fresh air. I would adore it if you made this into a series - Let’s just sit in silence doing nothing together.
Have you watched any 'study with me'/ eilent study videos on TH-cam? I like those even if I'm not studying, just pottering around the house. :)
Replacing online window shopping with reading is probably a good one for me too. I have so many books to read, and I just never get around to it. Instead I scroll on my phone or "window" shop. I think actively replacing the search for something to do in idle moments with a reminder that books exist I do actually like reading them is an obvious fix that I just hadn't actively set a rule for.
If I'm not doing something specific but I clearly want to be doing something pick up book instead of phone.
I feel this so much! Time and space to do nothing is so precious. My son has autism and I work full time and have used “online shopping “ as a “break” when I am stressed on and off for 11 years! Life is hard, beautiful and short and we don’t want to miss it. 2023 got a bit bad so I’m also doing a low buy and no Instagram in 2024. Love your work.
A list of healthy things to do when "I just can't right now and I need a break" would be so useful! Instead of shopping behaviours and other bad habits I have. Good for you for putting this into effect so effectively!
I came to comments hoping for brainstorming on this & would love a video that expands on the theme of healthy breaks. When I'm too tired to read, I often should take a nap or go to bed early. If I'm too wound up, listening to music or taking a walk are possibilities.
My family is in no-buy mode for January. No discretionary spending. No eating out, no clothing, and no Amazon (except for groceries). We have budgeted for years but had some huge unexpected house expenses in December on top of Christmas, and we just started using YNAB (highly recommend), which reminded us of our financial priorities.
Ynab is so good! Highly recommend to anyone interested in a budgeting software
OMGGGGGG you just answered my current frustration with life moving too fast, never enough time to do what NEEDS done! I’ve gained some weight since an injury. I am CONSTANTLY scrolling for clothes that will make me feel the way I used to feel! I get excited 10:56 buy them and then still feel awful!!!! Yet I don’t seem to have time to fix the healthy meal, take the detox bath, do the stretches I can do AND freak out over paying for a massage and healthcare deductible yet just spent over my budget on a cardigan that looks HORRIBLE and of course is non returnable!!!!
“Nothing is preferable to the damaging something.” So many good nuggets in this video!
I started keeping fish last year, and I've really enjoyed how it encourages me to "do nothing" more often. Sitting down to watch my fish is so engrossing that it's a special kind of meditation
My biggest struggle with stopping online browsing and mindless scrolling is that literally nothing else that feels as easy to do. Your first strategy, reading, often feels much too hard for my ADHD brain. But the idea of replacing scrolling with doing absolutely nothing is immensely exciting to me, especially because I agree - nothing makes me feel more serene than just sitting and staring out of the window. Thank you for another wonderful video!
there are these microlearning things too! like scrolling through lessons/educational material. but staring at trees is definitely just as good, was us ADHDers need nature very deeply to cope with being alive. Solidarity and love to you!
I have been watching you since your no buy year, which in turn inspired me to do a no buy year. You have changed my life (truly) and are the reason I finally started tackling my debt and budgeting. I am now debt free (except for my mortgage). Your content is always thought provoking. You are articulate and speak to my soul.
I just wanted to say, as someone who is childfree by choice, I truly appreciate the way in which your channel has not turned into "baby central." Once pregnant so many of my favorite content creators have become, well, not my favorite anymore because their content completely changes! The way you mentioned motherhood and your baby today was an integral part of the video, it leads to your "why" for this project. Of course, I love that you are happy and a mother. I love to see what you share about your baby on instagram and I am so happy for you and Joe. I'm just grateful the HLP content that I know and love has continued.
Was definitely needing this guidance today. I haven't been struggling with internet window shopping for products so much as using the internet for ideas for projects and get so obsessed 'researching' the perfect way to go about a project (makeup looks, knitting, crocheting, audiovisual collage) that I end up thinking thinking thinking and never creating. Will be instituting a similar restrictions and strategies that feel appropriate for my life.
I’ve recently been spending too much time on screens as well, and telling myself “just don’t do it” hasn’t been very effective. I miss the space, time, and calmer affect I had when I wasn’t as online. I think I’ll join you in this project to simply remove an “unhealthy” behavior without having the goal to replace it (yet) with something more “productive.”
Your channel has been so illuminating and a real joy to watch over the past year! Wishing you a 2024 filled with contentedness ❤
When you said, "my body hurts", I felt that.
DRAAAAG ME MS POSTON - your perennial superpower of knowing exactly what I need to hear is once again rearing its beautiful head.
I’ve recently moved and, between that and Christmas, have been shopping way more than usual (or my new usual post no buy) and it’s fully activated that ‘searching’ / seeking outside myself part of my brain again. Hadn’t connected all that time to the simultaneous unmanageability I’ve been feeling (more generally in my life and time) but you really hit the nail on the head. Thank you again for not only sharing your experience with us but also doing so in such a clear and communicative way 💚
The idea of doing nothing rather than reaching for my phone to fill any and all empty space feels almost rebellious, and I love it. I am going to try and incorporate this into my days.
Hannah- I don’t often write comments on videos. But I am doing a no buy year. I watched all of your videos to prepare for my low buy and I just want to say thank you! You have changed my life! I hope you have a wonderful year!
This is exactly me. Time. It’s adding so much stress, adding to errands, creating shopping pressure, and I’m avoiding my life and personal goals. I can’t get that wasted time back. It’s bad habits. You verbalized all I have been thinking of for the past two months. I have a rule that I can shop after exercise, work and so long as I am rested. High bar! Thank you for your video!!
This topic could not have come at a better time! I think we're at different stages of life but these feelings of wanting to simplify the spaces around us are the same. Thanks for bringing this up!
For me, shopping has never been a problem; but consuming your thoughtful content this past year and going back to watch your no-buy, made me realize what IS a problem for me: and it's screen time--particularly, mobile games. I know *very* well the feeling of not being able to deal with life and turning to your phone for comfort. I lost so many days and weeks of my life, watching it fly by like you described, and feeling like there just wasn't enough time: because half of my time was spent in a screen sinkhole. And this last August, I followed a no-buy framework and cut out phone games! A no-game, if you will. Some things are okay, some things are once/twice a day, but most are just big fat 'no's. The shift in my life as a whole because of this has been so wonderful, (and I really thank your no-buy example for that) so I'm so excited for you in this next step of limiting shopping behaviors and freeing up more time for yourself! Getting my time back has been one of the greatest gifts of my no-game experience, and I'm incredibly hopeful for the space and time you'll make for yourself in the coming weeks. ❤
Games are tough for me too, especially when I feel like I’m not achieving what I want because my goals are long term. The short term wins are like snacking.
Every time I come to your channel, I always gain a new perspective. I watched this video and then deleted the rest of the remaining games off of my phone as well as Tik Tok. When I look back at my life, I truly do not want to remember having spent countless hours playing mindless game and watching junk food content. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, about how I want to spend time and how I want to create a "life worth living" for myself. Your video just reinforced that for me.
Thank you for this video Hannah. Your struggles are very relatable. Oftentimes i try to implement too many changes all at once and end up giving up, so allowing yourself to be idle rather than forcing a positive habit is a great idea - small steps are the way forward. I also started reading books on my phone. This way i don't have to turn on another device, I can simply access different app on my screen and stop myself from mindless browsing. Good luck to you and to everyone else who's trying to regain some control over how they spend time and money 😊
I have two projects/resolutions this year:
1: a $40 per month snack budget to become more mindful of how much i spend on snacks & how much i eat them in lieu of meals. So far I've noticed a lot of times where i wish i had a savory/nonsweet bread to "tide me over" while i do things like dishes in order to cook, but i dont end up doing the dishes or cooking 🤨
2: going outside for a social reason at least once a month. This one's going well, i spent eight hours hanging out with my firend yesterday and we have plans again for two weeks from now, and im smiling a lot more even just while puttering around my apartment
Oh, yes. I hear you. Just one example, I have spent hours and hours looking at midi length puffer and other padded coats on line this winter without buying one. I have a padded waterproof coat that is still in great condition and fits me. Any occasion I could wear this coat I have been looking for, my current one would totally work. I know this and I decided at the start of the winter I wouldn't buy another coat in that category this year. So why am I looking for one still?
Meanwhile I want to exercise more, cook more, study Italian, do yoga, go dancing etc... but I don't have enough time. I even distract myself while watching something on TV and have to rewind because I missed something because I was looking for a coat I wasn't going to buy!!!
I always enjoy your channel, but I will be watching with particular interest this year.
Shopping behavior has been my long time crutch as well! I like the idea of shopping/buying only on the weekend. I find that when I can buy something quickly and make a decision, it's so much easier on my mind than when I do too much research and hem and haw. It feels like my life and brain dont have the space for it and I keep trying to shove it in
This has been super helpful. It made me realize that I watch a lot of declutter (mostly makeup) videos as a way of getting reviews on products and filling my time and justifying it by saying "well, this person is getting rid of things so it's anti-consumerist" when I'm absolutely using it for consumerist reasons.
The spiral metaphor is such tea, i’m writing that down
Hey Hannah, I'm a new subscriber, and 3 minutes into this video I had to pause to let you know - thank you for making this video. This type of content is incredibly relevant to me. I only began getting into makeup a couple of years ago, around the same time that I began to struggle with some chronic health conditions. My "shopping behaviors" around makeup/beauty have been a little piece of joy/escape for me, but it has resulted in some really bad habits - I absolutely feel you re: the Search for that perfect item. I can't wait to learn more and I hope I can implement some of the things you suggest. Thank you for such a thoughtful, introspective, and honest video. xo *edited to include Hannah's verbiage of "shopping behaviors" and going along with her definition of those*
In November i decreased my work contract to 90% FTE, and i take every other Friday off. This is me day. I do not touch stuff, i do not clean, i do not slave around the house, although i must say that i really enjoy chores, and having a clean and organized space makes me feel good. The truth is, having these 10% to me only cost me 10% of my income. This time is precious to me and i am not willing to whizz through it with a to-do or to-buy list in hand.
Thank you so much for this, Hannah! My project for this year is to stop the mindless TH-cam watching. Intentional TH-cam watching-for example, watching my favorite content creators who have more to say than just buy, buy, buy, is fine. But I have already failed miserably because I didn’t know what to do instead, and by the end of the day after working a nine-hour day writing and editing, my eyes are too tired to read. Thank you for the idea of doing nothing! Long story, but before Covid, I did not have a TV. I got a TV during Covid because I thought I would need one to know what was going on in the world during the lockdown. Biggest mistake ever! 😊😂 I was so much better off when I would spend the evenings sitting out on the deck, listening to the birds, or like you said, just looking out the window.❤
Maybe you'd have luck with an audio book. Eye fatigue is real.
Oooh, I really like this idea and approach, so I think I'll join you. However, I think I'll add watching TH-cam to my "shopping behaviour", and I'll call it "the wanting mind" (which I think is Buddhist, but I learned it from Tara Brach) instead. It's that search for something ease the internal pressure, the sinking feeling I've been having lately because of what's happening in the world, and the confusion that comes with everything. For me, I think The Wanting Mind feels great because it's focusing on something concrete and tangible, and it's giving me this sense of hope (I'll look good in this blush, this will help my oily skin, I'll be so warm in this sweater, etc.). Although I don't like it now, I hope that I'll be able to look at it as a guide in the future, telling me that I need comfort and support, and that I'll be able to give myself that in more constructive ways than spending time on TH-cam and shopping. Thank you for a great video, as always!
You’re such a fresh of breath air. This video hits hard because everything you said happens to me. Thank you for being so transparent with us. We’re constantly evolving and I appreciate you for sharing your experience and your plan on how to overcome this.
I'm only two minutes into the video, but i came to that spiral of growth conclusion on my own a couple years back. I love that its a buddhist teaching. I'm taking it as a sign that I'm on the right path :)
I absolutely adore the strategy of doing nothing. I remember an old Leena Norms video where she talked about (maybe a poet/book?) that referenced that there are some pockets of time where you just need to put yourself on ice and be there, still - it is incredibly healing! Thanks for this, it inspired me to rethink my pie chart as well 😅❤
Ok, I'm about to do some processing and thinking out loud in this comment! This is EXACTLY where I am right now, just so so exactly. For me it is also not money or space, but time.
I have been tracking all the clothes I buy since 2018. In 2019 I bought 151 items. Yes, 151! Since then, I have been committed to cutting down. 2020 I bought 50 (and it was really hard cutting down to a third - I did a lot of work that year) then in 2021 I bought 21. But in 2022 I went back up to 50 and in 2023 I bought 44, so though I have done a lot of work on this and I am proud of myself, I still need to cut down a lot.
I've also been working on having a 100 piece wardrobe. That is counting absolutely everything except underwear - clothes, shoes, bags, coats, jewellery, accessories, loungewear, workout stuff, gardening clothes, Halloween costumes - truly EVERYTHING. I am hovering around 111 right now and hope to hit 100 by the end of the year, in part as things wear out. It feels good to use things to the end of their life! There are a couple of gaps, both practical (I will need new hiking boots this year) and emotional (I really want a perfect white blouse) but I am at a stage where I really love almost everything. It's a cohesive style and colour palette and I feel great in it.
So buying 50 things a year like I have the last couple of years is, in other words, replacing half of my wardrobe. This is not ethical or sustainable or even, quite frankly, what I want to do. I have to remember that: as I'm so strict and numbers focused, everything new I bring in is going to knock something else out. And I look at my clothes and can't think of anything I WANT to take out. So there's really no space for new, right?
On that note: I have been debating a complete no buy this year. I thought I was ready (as ready as you can be, I guess) but I am still going back and forth on it, a LOT. For the first couple of weeks this year, I have been on track. I have not bought anything and I had not opened eBay or Vinted even once. But the last couple of days I have started looking again and adding things to the folder on my desktop that serves as my wishlist. This has happened after a couple of bad nights where I got very little sleep - I know it's the tiredness talking. When I am so low or exhausted, clothes browsing feels like a nice thing I can do without taking too much energy. But it very soon stops feeling nice. And I don't want to fall back into that insidious pattern of browsing and scrolling and favouriting. I want to do actual things with my life! I want to walk by the sea! I want to play board games with my husband! I want to go to choir practise! I want to make some new friends this year! So I really need to keep a lid on that. It's a time suck and an energy suck and, weirdly, a creativity suck, too. I might try habit tracking for this one, you know. It's helping for other things, so a little row of ticks for the days I don't browse might be inspiring here, too.
I am having a very difficult mental health time lately with terrifying panic attacks and I want to respect this and not put too much pressure on myself to be perfect. Previously even the thought of a no buy has left me feeling panicked and, while it doesn't right now, I know that I need to be a bit careful with myself, a bit gentle. So while I feel good at the moment about not shopping, a complete no buy for 2024 is truly too much to expect from myself at this point in my life. I think that's ok.
Maybe instead of complete no buy, I will limit myself to 12 pieces (one thing a month) or 5 pieces (Rule of 5), as I recently read that's what we should all be cutting down to for the environment. I feel good about those numbers but I am going to try to commit to a no buy January first.
I read a quote recently about sobriety where she was saying that she didn't choose to give up alcohol forever - she just chooses not to drink today. This has worked for her for 30 years. I can't believe how strongly this has resonated with me. I have thought about it so often! Today is all we really have, you know? So today I'm not going to buy any clothes. Tomorrow I can decide again.
I stayed up til 1.30am last night looking at my laptop "in a shopping way". I needed this! I could have done something more worthwhile like reading a book, or sleeping.
My therapist recommended writing a self care list, which I think would totally work for this project. I have a list full of activities that are self care to me, from really low effort (burning a candle, drinking a glass of water, reading, knitting, sitting in the garden) to high effort (taking a walk, meditating, yoga). Whenever I feel really anxious (or in this case: when you feel like doing shopping behaviors), I take the list and ask myself what I can manage in that moment. Ever since I have been using this list (I keep it in a very visible place in my living room) I have noticed I am much more likely to choose a healthy habit over an unhealthy one. It's like my brain needs a little reminder of what's actually going to help me, so having my little self care menu really works. :)
I remember that very first no buy year, its iconic! Also that comparison of calling online shopping etc "research" is brilliant!
I relate so hard to the multi-week search for a very specific item as a distraction. 😅 Most of the time I don’t buy it! But that somehow makes it worse for me, mentally. Like I spent all that time and it’s clearly something I never even needed or wanted. Meditation is something I also want to get back to. Thank you for the uncomfortable reminder!
I definitely have a tendency to ruminate over potential purchases. I can spend way too much time searching for the perfect item at the best price. Then I ruminate over whether I should spend the money. Often, by the time I finally decide to buy the thing, it's either unavailable or the price has gone up. 🙄 So I'm working on making faster decisions and not being a perfectionist. Because as you pointed out, time and attention are easily wasted browsing and (in my case) ruminating.
It is so lovely to listen to a woman who has retained her sense of self and her capacity to view all aspects of life equally, after having a child. You continue to inspire and reassure me with your content and your perspective ❤
This made me smile, I remember these times. My oldest of 4 is now 24 years old. And when they say time flies, this is what they mean it’s after you have kids. I was reminiscing just yesterday scrolling through old pics. ❤ Enjoy your child let everything else come secondary, these are times you’ll never get back and you will miss one day. The rest all comes back around later; shopping, traveling, work, socializing… of course balance what you can.🌺 Best wishes on your new journey😊
Can you do a more generalized goal setting video? I know it’s not related to beauty, but you’re so gentle and kind to yourself with setting this goal of less online shopping, I’d love to hear how you approach other ambitions.
I have been thinking about how much time I spend consuming content, which does include browsing, but I've also gotten into the habit of always having a youtube video on in the background. I think I am going to find a way to work no-content time into my day
This is amazing. I have literally figured out/started the same thing this year - I realised just how important 'doing nothing' was because that's the space where you can actually hear yourself and it is much easier to go on from there. I would always feel that I had to do *something*, which would often lead me to endless scrolling when I didn't have an immediate answer to ''what should I do next?' I have trouble with anxiety and for a long time I've been trying to stave it off by scrolling, until I realised I was actually making it worse. Nothingness, on the other hand, helps me soothe it. In some ways, just doing nothing feels like a very base form of meditation.
I have gone off the rails lately with shopping. I’m doing no buy January but that hasn’t stopped me from being on Etsy and poshmark constantly for items of clothing I have wishlisted over the past handful of years. I recently added up all of the money I spent last year in extraneous “beautiful things” and it was a lot. I think the thing that contributed most to the over spending was the fact that I was on these websites more seeing what was on offer and being so allured by them. As long as I’m looking I’m bound to find something I want. So I deleted the apps for the month.. we’ll see if I want to continue on.
It's interesting that in some ways your less shopping actually parallels my less social media. I'm still letting myself watch a small amount of creators, but have disabled youtube and chrome from my phone, which has also in turn lessened how much I'm shopping as I'm in the state of wanting when I'm mindlessly watching youtube. (Frankly, I can't give up watching you as it would be too much of a disservice to myself to stop watching the person that inspired me to bite the bullet) I'm letting myself watch anime more now but hope to slowly sew, journal, draw and read more, but after watching this am realizing I'm also doing "nothing" more now and it's been pretty great. I don't notice life passing me by so heavily, even though I'm still in the habit of looking for something to numb my brain lol
I am on a similar journey. I am slowing becoming a more minimal & conscience spender because I like the space & the ability to keep things tidy. Cutting clutter makes me feel good & to relax I listen to a-lot of podcasts while I walk my pup.
Very timely. Yesterday evening i trialled a no screen time after the work day. For me the problem isnt shopping related it's entirely entertainment but 'm becoming aware that it's straining my brain and eyes and sucking my time. Yesterday i put my classical playlist on low because silence felt too heavy and did a lot of reading, a bit of sewing and had a long everything bath. In advance I had planned to do it every Tuesday but im now thinking perhaps more often
I have lived in small places which required I ask “where am I going to put this or what am I going to get rid of in order to have this” over every purchase. It was good training but I have to remind myself to go back to it every now and again. I’m in a good place right now, the past couple years I’ve been on a quest to develop a skincare routine that really helped my dry, sensitive (skin cancer prone) skin. I think I have found a good, affordable, routine now. I found myself filling the time I had been researching ingredients looking at clothes online. I ordered a bunch recently. When the items came, I tried them on and asked myself whether I needed or really wanted this particular garment. I returned everything except a couple T-shirts.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my own spending behaviors last year and going into this year. While I’ve made some strides in changing and challenging my own spending tendencies I’ve also started to become more observant of how I spend my time and the way shopping occupies my mind. I think this is a great challenge to set for yourself. For myself I am keeping a journal of my spending and I’m giving each transaction a star rating which is helping me to look more at my mood and emotions when I’ve shopped. I also am soo grateful for this community. There are always such wonderful discussions and we are all supporting each other. Also Hannah, I was intrigued by what you said about from the nothingness comes poetry. As someone who is trying to start writing I’ve found my shopping tends to be a way to run from the silence or nothingness. I think challenging myself to also live within that space of nothing will help me evolve as a writer. Thanks for sharing your journey and updates. ❤️ I’m always so appreciative!
I noticed that one reason I indulge in 'shopping behaviours' when I'm stressed or bored is because it uses many facets of the mind. These behaviours allow me to 'discover' new things, ideas, or activities (which can be tucked away in my memory for future reference); to delight in stimulating visual, creative, or intellectual content; to indulge in fantasy planning. These behaviours require critical thinking, math, & decision making skills. It keeps my mind occupied, my creative senses alert, and generates a feeling of interacting with the world. The last couple of years when I've noticed myself 'deep diving' into online consumer researching, I physically get up and start looking for something to declutter - thus marshalling those restless mental acuities to break the spell of glassy-eyed browsing & gathering.
What you said about time resonated so much with me. I don't really engage with social media mainly because TH-cam has already sucked enough of my time. There are creators I love watching, and videos that have really broadened my perspective, but it doesn't negate that it overall feels like I'm just spending too much time. I've been thinking for a while about needing to find some way of limiting the amount of time, and this video just emphasized that for me. Especially that in the end, it's not truly restful and is that "damaging something."
Also, "out of nothingness that the evolution of the self arises and out of that nothingness poetry comes" was beautiful and feels like uncovering a facet of the truth of being human.
This is great. It appears to be a trend everyone, including myself, have set as a goal for 2024. The one thing I did which helped a lot was unsubscribing from store/brand emails. Out of sight, out of mind. And quality over quantity - 100%. I ask myself "Is this something I would wear/use every day. Is this something I will wear/use in 10 years". So far, I am feeling good with these life changes which I started about 6 months ago.
love that idea of the spiralling journey! It makes sense too: sometimes it feels like I backtrack or have a "relapse" (not just in bad habits but more so mental health) but it's just that we have to confront ourselves again and again and probably a bit better every time! I'm on a forced no-buy/low-buy since I've been on benefits for a while now, it's actually been SUPER handy since I've been kind of an overspender (FASHION, SHOES
Ugh. “Looking for the thing to want”. That’s so me. Thank you for articulating where you’re at as it helps me clarify further what it is I’m really really doing and why
I have been on a bit of an anti-capitalist/declutter/no buy journey and as a person who likes mantras and slogans, my latest one is "shopping is housework". Has really helped reframe it as a task I have to do as a person who needs things to live, rather than a hobby I can indulge in for fun. Has been really helpful
ooooh! that's insightful
@@nikkiknack thanks, feel free to use it in your life
I love that! Truth!
I have been thinking about the problematic nature of browsing. I usually do it when I'm bored. I need to find another way to entertain myself. I also tend to want to shop when I'm tired. I've learned to say no to late night purchases and shopping when I haven't had enough rest. I am more impulsive when I need more sleep.
I'm not on a no buy project. I am working to pay a sizable credit card dowm by June though, so most of my money will be going to that for a while.
I use a data driven approach to no buys. I review my most worn clothing from the past 1-2 years, identify my most worn brands or clothing stores from the clothing, and then limit my browsing to those stores. I also keep mini capsules for work and leisure, so I know what I have and what I need. From there, this dramatically decreases my need to shop and browse. I love it!
When my children started school, I stopped shopping on weekends... These boundaries have to change as we grow... 💜
Such a great video. Thanks! I’ve committed myself to the Rule of 5 Challenge for 2024: for environmental & anti-consumerism reasons, limiting new clothing purchases to 5 for the year & allowing myself no more than 4 secondhand purchases as well. Limiting my online browsing, as you suggested, would be immensely helpful to meet my own 2024 challenge, so I plan to adopt that strategy too.
Currently snowed in and did a lot of browsing/shopping. Didn’t actually buy anything but keeping tabs on what I want to buy in the future, what things I like, new categories of things to buy. It’s so easy, but thank you for this inspiration.
Ah, yes… worshipping the god of Materialism. I am familiar. I’m always pulled to shop when I’m unhappy. I’m DEFINITELY trying to distract myself from my feelings with a cheap hit of seratonin or dopamine. (I forget which)….. Shopping addiction is alive and well in our consumerist society. And, it’s kind of like an eating disorder. You can’t just stop eating. People on drugs can quit and completely cut that behavior out of their lives. But, we will always need stuff. Things get worn down. We grow out of them, we use it up. It’s not as easy balancing act. I really applaud you for bringing a spotlight to this issue and sharing your own journey with us.
I needed this! I have a chronic illness and also a dog, and I’m finding at the moment that ive been doing almost “revenge bedtime procrastination”, but at any time of day. I think having her, although she adds so much love to my life, means that with the little energy I have in spreading between the two of us, and I often crash before I get to do “my” things, after I’ve done hers
I do absolutely get it. I prefer owning less and spent so much time on doing research. The best item regarding quality, durability and impact on our planet. I felt overwhelmed or frustrated due to far to many or nor options at all. I had to "allow" myself being less disciplined and following my principles a little bit less. Quelle surprise! Nowadays I do not shop uncontrolled or crappy items as I have learned to identify true quality over the course of the years. I do simply no longer spend hours on one simple purchase. Trust in your taste and in knowing yourself.
Oh gosh i needed to hear this. Ive been recovering from a two year long bought of autistic burnout and for the first year i was using endlessly scrolling the internet to self sooth (it wasnt all shopping behaviors but a lot of it was), but it doesnt actually provide my brain the deep rest it needs. This year has been a long slow process of reconnecting with myself and all the activities that used to make me happy.
Im excited to see how this journey goes for you and wishing you all the best ❤
A lot of people, including myself, seem to be going through something similar at the moment...we are all deciding to spend less time online because theee are other things we want and need to do with that time and energy. It's so interesting to see. I don't have kids or spend lots of time online shopping, but I'm making similar changes because I'm spending too much time online doing other things...chasing interesting content essentially. It's robbing me of some great things. So it needs to be reigned in, just like you concluded.
*edit*
I wanted to add, that I think a lot of this behavior is because we use it as an escape or distraction. And because we have done it so automatically in the past it's so easy to fall back into it every time. Anyway, life and the world has been a lot and weird and I think we are using screen time as an escape.
I think many of us are also fatigued by being online/ glued to screens etc after COVID.
I listening to this while driving my cat and I to the vet (an hour drive). It stopped her from yowling and calmed both of our nerves! ❤
I found your videos through Kackie always talking about you haha. I went back and watched how your no buy year changed your life and it motivated me to try it for myself this year with my own rules and intentions. I love your shopping content and if you haven’t heard it yet today, You have helped me. Thank you for doing what you do, in the way that you do it!!
I love your honesty, reflection and realism! These aspects make your videos on shopping behavior so valuable!
This was exactly what I was thinking about for the upcoming year -- half my time isn't taken up by childcare but it is being taken up by a different life project (community leadership). So I'm trying to reconfigure the rest of my work and personal and inner life. This was so so helpful to hear and I'm looking forward to seeing how this goes for you, and doing something similar along with you.
Thank you for the food for thought in this video!
My clothes nobuy is starting ok. I do a lot of browsing and "window" shopping online but without the urge to buy. But I don't want to rush it and tolerate my behaviour so far. When I circle back to this point on my learning journey I will work on my screen time.
I bought the first things outside of my nobuy categories. I just bought the things I intended to buy and didn't add anything at the last minute. Just buying one thing and paying shipping for it feels weird but adding things I don't need and paying ultimately way more money is objectively more unwise.
Your no buy year is how I first found your channel. I really love how your content has evolved! I definitely need to curb my behaviour when it comes to shopping in 2024! My issue area is art and craft supplies! I also have issues browsing which eventually leads to shopping.
I’m in a similar place and I’ve been having very much the same thought. With kids and work requiring (and deserving) the bulk of my time, what precious few moments of me time I have are frequently spent staring at a screen. Your content has been transformative for me over the last few years. I’ve made marked changes in how I consume-content, material possessions, ideas, etc .
I’ve developed routines I enjoy and basked in the glory of the small things in life that make me happy…whether that’s the chunky knit of a sweater or the subtle scent of my favorite perfume. Having less has made a HUGE impact on my sanity (I have a cross country move to thank for the great stuff purge of 2023 lol). I’m stuck with the thought that I’m addicted to screen time but I also greatly enjoy it. I love browsing Facebook marketplace looking for the perfect vintage furniture item to fill our new home with warmth and texture. I’ve had loads of fun creating my own version of a capsule wardrobe and learning about sustainability and the second hand market. I also scroll way too much on who knows what. So how do I manage the good-the learning, exploring, self-expression fun bits-without feeding the mindless scrolling monster who lives in my head and doesn’t let me actually live life as it happens? I wish I could call up that proverbial mountain and chat with the me on the next loop. I lost me for a bit, to work and post partum depression, mostly. I’m so excited to have me back and find new ways to be joyful in existence. I guess I’m afraid if I cut out too much of the screen portal I’ll miss out on something great, but if I DONT cut out screen time, I’ll miss out on something great. Anyone else up this mountain a few turns have some good advice? How do you find balance amid the chaos?
Interestingly, I have started a no-buy year. Well, I started one back on November 1st and it's going really well. I kind of did the most with gift-giving this year, but it was all sanctioned and I didn't go over budget. I did go to the edge of the budget, just not over. HOWEVER, I just three days ago broke my no but for one thing - a timed cell phone lock box because my screen time has been off the charts. It has also cut into time with my little. I have found that I want to sit and scroll instead of sit and play with him because I just can't at the end of the day. I work with cancer patients and it's heavy. At the end of the day all I want to do lately is scroll and the habit has been out of control. So I had been thinking about this lock box thing to use after work in the evenings and then Julia mentioned it in this week's lesson so I took it as a sign. I'm not worried about this spinning me out buying-wise and going back on the no-buy has already happened. I consider this $25 break in the no-buy an emergency buy to be honest. Such a timely video 💓 always nice to hear you aren't alone in your struggles.
During the peak of the pandemic, I found I was spending a lot of time on screens because my pie chart opened up while I was laid off. I was spending a lot of time watching TH-cam, which consequently made me want to purchase a lot of items I wouldn't have otherwise considered.
After I went back to work, I was still spending almost all of my spare time watching TH-cam.
I chose to limit my TH-cam time to overlap with other tasks. I don't just watch TH-cam videos anymore. I watch one while I get ready in the morning, or fold laundry, or was the dishes, or I listen to one on the boring parts of my daily walks. I found I was able to spend my time taking care of the things I needed to take care of, and still enjoy some screen time without making it my focus and choosing it over and above the rest of my life tasks.
This video helped to put into words something that I struggle with as well--"shopping behavior"! I have never had an actual spending or overbuying problem, but I do spend too many hours a week browsing or window-shopping online as a form of catharsis.
I've been mindlessly scrolling pointless videos for the past few months, sometimes for hours at a time. Very timely video, I definitely need to consider how to curb my "shopping behaviors" too!
This video has so much wisdom I've watched it twice. In fact, I think I'll watch it again with a notepad and pen. :)
I changed my relationships to social media in 2020 and rediscovered some of the joy of doing nothing, in being a little bored. I don't quite know how to explain it, but it was like opening a window and realizing that it's morning and the sun is shining. It illuminated a lot of stuff, good and bad.
Shopping Behaviors is my real problem too - even if my DOLLAR SPEND is notably reduced, my TIME SPEND is wayyyyy increased. Love this angle of the conversation. Thank you for walking through it! 💜
I'm going to be doing 6-months of no buying this year. Spread throughout the year. I tried this month and got a little swept away with some emotional spending and procrastination buying. But the biggest takeaway that I got from this month is just bc you shop today, doesn't mean you have to shop tomorrow. "failing" a no-buy doesn't mean toy have to quit! So though I did shop this month, I've had 20 days of no shopping. Going to try a full month for Feb!
This video really connected personally, my focus in 2024 is 'be more present with my life' and I am doing this by focusing on health and connection (with self and others), examining my intentions with time, space, things etc.
I am struggling with the online/social media and how often it activates my desire to seek out, look for something to want and redirect this to more present focus. I have increased my yoga, listening to music with my morning coffee rather than scrolling, and training my dog :) she loves me being more present with my life. lol.
great video, thanks for all that you do!
Such a good comment! Good luck! ❤ I also sing in choir and this is such a valuable hobby. I want to spend more time with things that improve my life and mental health.
I am always amazed how you are able to articulate something so well.. often times something that probably only lives in my unconcious; behaviour that I only recognize when you start talking about it. I am a mother myself and escape into my phone (browsing.. often for things my toddler might need) way too often. I need to make an effort to escape this vicious circle of trying to escape the stress (via shopping/browsing) without the result of being relaxed. Often I am even more stressed afterwards because there are actions I have to take after a purchase (go somewhere to pick it up, return it, post it etc.)
I am always thankful for your thoughts and your ability to articulate and relay them so well!
Wish you and your family all the best for 2024.
I am starting a health year. Started slowly in October-November. But not a regular one, with loose weight. I have been very Ill so I slowly have been trying to get off my medication and instead doing things that I hope will help me with staying off the meds. Soo making more of the time when I don’t have to rest and the time I am resting but awake is my goal. Much like you! Without meds I need to sleep and rest a lot, so how do I make the rest of the time as optimal as possible. I Fast and I have screen free days. My hubbs and I have also deciderat to have screen free weekends. I am also preparering for maybe a no buy year next year. Not only cloths but books! I have a big very good library close by so I hope to slowly get into the habit of going there. I always do like this. Mentally and physicly prepare myself for whats coming next. So first of January I will be on the way and I will avoid the February failior! As I already know what boundaries I can live with and that I have the strength to keep it up…
I can definitely relate to this! My husband & I don't want kids and earn a comfortable amount of money, and I feel like I'm a very discerning shopper and really make a conscious effort to be mindful about the things I bring into my life. So we are coming from a similar place in terms of our current relationship with acquiring new things, although I definitely have more time at my disposal. But I definitely get that feeling sometimes that I've lost hours of my time to scrolling and browsing. I do spend a lot of time on my hobbies as well, but my problem can come down to discipline. For example if I'm going to work at the office my morning routine is very structured and I have a bit of free time worked into it because I wake up early. But on days when I'm working from home and don't have to get myself ready to leave the house or eat breakfast at a particular time, etc, I can really just devolve and spend my whole morning on my laptop without doing anything meaningful with my time right up until I start work. It's actually when I have more free time that I find myself wasting more of it, and I have caught myself doing it at times and recognised that I want to get a handle on it. Like you have wisely said (which has lived in my brain ever since) - the hobby is enjoying the thing, not shopping for the thing.
I have spent so much money last year. I am on a low/no buy this year. I am trying my best
This resonated with me so much as a mom of two kids under four! The spiral imagery hit me so hard. Thank you for sharing!
I would LOVE to see. Video with your novel/reading recs!!!!
Resonated with so much you said! Thank you so much for this one!🧡
Why does doing nothing sound so luxurious? Thank you Hannah. The time I spend on online browsing has been the most damaging part of shopping for me for a while. You explaining your method for approaching it makes me motivated to come up with my own method. I may also want to examine my perfectionism - and why I want the perfect item and what I think the perfect item will give to me.
I'm in a weird space where I'm happy with my wardrobe, and aside from some nice to have items, don't need anything. I'm now a little obsessed with East Fork Pottery, thanks to you, but I'm keeping myself from buying a full slate of dishes all at once. (we have the same dishes both of us came to the marriage with, and they were already a decade old at that time... I have no guilt over finally buying "real" dishes) But yeah, I feel like I've spent too much time researching stuff I don't need or even want. I've spent way too much time playing games on my phone. And I've not spent nearly enough time reading and getting outside.
Damn, I really needed to hear this. Reducing screen time is so hard to face for some reason. But I agree, I want my mind to be free of the screen entrapment too!