A great point Ms. Jones! Years ago, when i started my awakening, I realized that I wouldn’t want a friend treating me the way I treated my (then) boyfriend. It’s unfortunately common that we take out our anxieties and upset on those that love us most, much like a teenager treating their parents rudely.
@@kylietaylor396 I love when we're able to self reflect and impart the golden rule. It makes life easier...on ourselves and those we truly do love. Good going!
Wow! This is the first I've heard anyone talk about going on a date with a man who wasn't already a bf pre-quarantine. Girl, how was it? Did you two have to wear masks? Did you already know him prior to the lockdown? Just curious. hehe
I feel like having a constant aggressive, defensive and argumentative attitude has the potential to throw off a woman's hormonal system. This is why I have chosen to curb content that triggers me. I also feel like it actually makes your face less physically attractive over time. I swear it just changes a woman's aura to where it repells rather than attracting good things to her.
I agree, this is also why it’s important to control your living environment. If you live with people who bring you down, or in a negative neighborhood ; it drags you down as well.
Yes! I really have to protect my vibe carefully. From the music I listen to and shows I watch to the people I am around and the news I read. I guard my energy very very carefully. Meditation really helps too. It’s like giving my mind a shower, spiritual hygiene.
The sapphire typically has wounded masculine energy that needs to be healed. If they don’t heal, they will end up attracting, wounded feminine energy (aka weak men).
M you need to find the root of your wounded masculine energy. Try meditating, shadow work, and therapy. Once you figure it out you’ll know, because you’ll feel lighter. It also helps to look at patterns in the men you choose. What are their similarities and what do those similar traits link to in your life.
B Al it’s basically exploring your unconscious darker side of yourself. It helps to uncover all you repressed emotions, bad habits and the root of those habits. It help lead you to enlightenment and takes a little work and being honest with yourself.
This needs to be taught to our daughters so we won't continue these generational curses. I definitely have to check the Sapphire in myself at times because it isn't a good look
I recently dated a man that I feel was trying to bring out this Sapphire trait. He stated that since he was from the New York/New Jersey area, he was used to women that talked back more and were more aggressive. It just made me feel uncomfortable because I felt like he was purposefully doing things to try to make me angry.
Oh my God. Did his name start with an O ? I went through that too. I'm very jovial and friendly and he didnt like that. Even tried to change the way I dressed .
I will admit that I have been a sapphire lately because of hurt and anger but the video snatched my edges and I commit to go better and be feminine inside and out! No more blocking my own blessings!
I'm with you on this! and for me the anger was coming from watching a little too much of a certain kind of content on TH-cam. I've chosen to take a LONG break from consuming triggering content.
I personally feel that a Sapphire is a woman who uses the powerful emotion of anger to cover up her Depression and although black women do not like talking about depression, depression is very very common amongst all women; but particularly black women. And there is no denying that perpetual anger and depression go hand in hand. I look at anger as a mask that over time becomes a comfortable crutch and a comfortable distraction for women who are committed to digging their heels into their brokenness. There's always something underneath the "anger" of a Woman's Mask and it's usually it's unhealed trauma, bitterness, depression, loneliness, life dissatisfaction or unfulfillment. I am only introducing this term to my channel because I see a lot of women in the comments section who seem to be hell bent and committed to fueling, feeding, aiding and abetting to their own feminine destruction whether they want to or not. If a woman is watching my videos and she still cannot seem to let her anger go then she needs professional help, and like I've said from the beginning of my channel there is no help but self-help.
Chloe_ Thank You hoping for something make the heart sick. Which lead to other factors in our cultures. It’s too much help out here for BW to be living in darkness. Enough Is Enough once she knows herself the Power is indescribable. Thank You for using your platform to help BW know their worth.(Priceless) Blessings Chloe 🥰
You were spot on with your assessment, Chloe. Especially, considering the article that came out a few months ago that said research found that black women tend to express/mask their depression with anger.
Yessss , I noticed this about her years ago but didn’t know how to articulate it ! She literally purposely causes drama in her own life then blames the world
...and she probably doesn't even realize or doesn't care that all that bullying and bickering she did with Tamar may have contributed to Tamar wanting to kill herself...
I dealt with a woman like this at my last job- she was a “white” sapphire and IMO they can be very dangerous especially when they deal with a “black” woman who is not a typical stereotype...
The Inner G me too sis. They are very toxic. She had bad temper, no man, no children, and not close to her family. These women was difficult to work with. But there were many enablers around her. I keep my distance from her.
@@JC-gq2lo Yup. In my case, she was an older white woman. I feel like people give those women the benefit of the doubt. She makes the place a hostile work environment.
Tommie from Love and Hip Hop is like this she is very angry insecure and aggressive and she is soo beautiful to me.😢I feel for her sooo much .I hope she overcomes.
There is a woman I work with and she acts like what is described in the video. She called me the other day and starts talking about how it's so hard and she is dealing with alot. She never went into detail and I am glad and I did not ask because I do not care. She is always being negative and complaining and always wanting to know people's business for her own personal use. She wonders why life is so hard. She needs to look at what she does.
@@Tatianarain I think the biggest issue with people who complain with their lives they are not leave with themselves. They always have to have to be disruptive.
@@Saveren_ It is. I really people want others to be overly emotional involved in their mess it's sad. I prayed and I start looking at men's behavior too when dealing with women who constantly complain. They just be like yeah ok and men start mentally blocking them out. Also, I bring things to God too. I told God in prayer, I will like this woman to stop asking me for my personal items like lotions, safety pins, and gum. I feel like you should have items like this in your purse because you are woman. I stopped overly trying to help people to. If they don't ask, I'm not giving unless it's family or some friends. I really start evaluating my actions to slowly detach from a person. The same co worker who complains all the time, she told one of the HR people at our job said to her if you don't like your job shut up or leave and this was months ago. Which makes me think she wants and enjoys complaining about the job. I know this is easier than said but I can tell you pereserve through it.
@@dreamyanon5151 I had the same issue. In the end I ended things because after 1 year of nagging, hating, talking mostly about things going wrong/missing in her life I just couldnt take it anymore. I'd advise you to learn some phrases to show your boundaries. Maybe something like:" I hear you. Is there anything that I can do to help? ( to get out of being just the emotional trash can). If not ( no help wanted) : I'm sorry that you are going through this. It must be really hard. I noticed that this keeps happening (the complaining) and I'm not sure if I am the best help/support for you. I need to take care of myself and I begin to feel that your issues have an impact on me/ I 'm starting to feel drained /I wish I could help but I need to take care of myself first I dont have the capacities to support you/ listen to you right now. Something like this. Just state what you are feeling without blaming the other person. I wish I did this but I kept "being nice" and feeling more and more resentment and anger inside. Good luck!
My mother is a "sapphire"-it damaged her marriage and her relationship with her daughters and grandchildren-she is blind to her own flaws (self-righteous) and overly critical of others. Always fussing and complaining about something🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️It is an extremely unattractive archetype.
mine is exactly the same. I feel your pain Nicole. I honestly just decided to give up & let her be,she refuses to change or even take responsibility for her actions & toxic behaviour.I had to establish extreme boundaries with her which made her even more bitter to a point where she provoked me so hard to get a reaction out of me & i gave in & falsely accusing me of attacking. & not to mention being threatened with curses esp coming being that i am an African. I am the black sheep of the family & i am ok with that. if anyone brings me that kind of misery in my life, they can piss off including family
@@snjezanakristo7693 its so sad how people will still say "love her" she is still your mother not realizing how difficult & mentally draining it is to deal/tolerate/ love a person like that
@@janekhanyile7600 You can love your mom as best as you can from a distance that's comfortable for you. You need to protect yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically at all costs. You owe no one an explanation for this. If your family and/or friends are not supportive of your decision tell them to kick rocks and ghost them.
Honestly, my mother is a Saphire. However, it's not completely her fault. My father is a dusty who refuses to provide for his family. My mother has been the man of the house paying the bills/rent, cooking, etc. The weight on her shoulders is heavy. My father is the type of person that hates working under people. He has been fired from numerous jobs. Even when he has started his own businesses (with the financial support of my mother) they fail. Honestly, I am ashamed of my father and have lost respect for him. I have no respect for any man who doesn't have the drive or motivation to take care of his family. As much as it is my father's fault I also blame my mother for allowing such treatment. It's because of their relationship that I have invested my time in hypergamy, femininity, and affluence. I want to marry a man that can provide for me and our future children even if it means dating outside my race. I refuse to settle and become a bitter woman full of regret like my mother.
This is my mother’s story too. My father was not a providing man and she basically held our family together. I think she now has breadwinner depression.You really have to take heed to the people who you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Shelly Clerveaux my dad too. My sister and I now carry the weight since my mother now works part time. My dad’s whole demeanor will change when my sister and I ask him to split a utility bill, but he’s always willing and able to give money to his siblings with their chronically unemployed grown children.
I feel like you just posted my life story. I am your mother. I ended a relationship with my children’s father who is a complete dusty and does not provide for my daughters. I recognize myself in your story and Chloe’s description of a Sapphire. I will definitely work on myself.
As BW migrate towards gentle femininity; WW have become the new Sapphires with their "Karen" persona. I don't think they realize what's taking place. WM are making videos about Karen left and right.
Someone else pointed this out in another TH-camr's video. They called it peen envy. That's why we can't claim being ratchet and angry as acting Black when other women do it. Because it hurts us in the end. Let the new switch of stereotypes take over haha
Wm have been complaining about white women like that since the 80s if I remember correctly. Lots were looking for brides from eastern Europe and Spanish speaking countries. It was a thing in the media.
Amanda Seales is completely a sapphire. She’s always ready to entertain drama or some type of injustice in the most nastiest way. I like that she’s not afraid to speak up, but I could always tell deep within she wishes she didn’t have to do it all the time. Now she wants to tone down, more than likely she looked around and saw that she’s one year from 40, with cats and realized she wants love and happiness just like most women. Another great video Chloe, love you oh so much!
K K She’s a beautiful in terms of looks, attraction wise - she could do better with learning to be more honey like. I said above I appreciate her work and her need to stand up for injustices.
She talks too much, especially about exes. And its usually nothing good. Quality men probably see her coming as a red flag a mile away. She comes across as perpetually angry and that likely attracts a certain type.
I’m gonna say something triggering but for me a light skinned woman who didn’t get married with a black man which is her type has something wrong with her. They are ready to give you the world just because you light skinned and you manage to be single ? Make no sense to me. I hope she will do some internal work. She has daddy issues too :/
Haryel Haryel Her self esteem needs work, she’s a Cancer, they’re naturally very sensitive and loving. She has it in her but she hardens it with a lot of her childhood issues that she still needs to solve. You could tell on The Real when Jeannie, Tamara and Adrienne would talk about their relationships her face would be stale cause she knows deep inside she wishes she could join in and be apart of that. It’s natural for women to want to feel loved and to be soft and alluring, she somehow fell into a deep trap of being the hardened shell
I never knew the term Sapphire, just anger black woman. I use to be a sapphire, it was learned behavior from my mom who is a married woman. Growing up seeing how she dealt with life situations caused me to be the same. Years ago after seeing how it affected my friendships and relationships, I decided to change. It was hard but I look at life and situations with a better and happier light now. Thank you Chloe I still need reminders ❤️
This is not who I am 90% of the time, but this past week I caught myself acting this way. Not for attention or to spread negativity, but to protect myself and because I lost control due to being off balance.... I deeply regret the way I spoke and lost control but I have to figure out the triggers and how to avoid this in the future. I didn’t appreciate what was going on at the time, but there was a more perfect way to handle it. Needless to say I have some extra alone time to figure it out. 🤷🏽♀️
Having a low moment does not make a woman a Sapphire. A Sapphire is a woman who LEADS and Dwells in her negative for attention. Those women end up sick, angry and bitter. Being feminine and ladylike is not about being perfect but it is about getting out of you own way to find joy, happiness And fulfillment. 💄
Came back to this video as it was referenced in the latest Monitoring spirit video. I watched this video four years ago when it was first uploaded. I was at the beginning of my spiritual shift at that time. It was two years before I went with my sister in 2022. I had no idea when I watched in 2020 that I would become estranged with my sister. She was the monitoring spirit at that time as I was sharing all of my new ideas, gifts, creativity and epiphanies. Slowly within the year she started copying me and subtly stealing my ideas and personality as her own. By the time I caught on enough we wound up in an explosive confrontation. Ofc she made herself out to be the victim, me the villain whilst using her (my) newfound personality to attack me to mutual peers and talk down to me. Being brought back to this video now it describes her perfectly for the most part. Long story long, this was very validating to rewatch now post “war.” Unfortunately I suffered some setbacks that I’m still recovering from due to many levels of her sneaky infiltration, but I’m here. These videos remind me that I’m not alone in a community of women that either are this woman or enable this woman out of cowardice. Thank you Chloe for the work that you do.
The movie ‘Deliver is from Eva’ with Gabrielle Union is literally the epitome of the Sapphire black woman while all her other sisters and sweet and feminine.
@imjustsaying im the oldest and she was most definitely overdoing it and emasculating everyone, super cringeworthy, in the midst of all that beautiful fine-ness
The first step is acknowledgement, then healing. I have anger, not the other features, but we are the same boat. Celebrate your ability to grow and learn from the experience.
You really broke this one down Chloe, that description was nothing but the truth. If you didn’t think you knew what a Sapphire was before this video, now you realized that you know that chick too well..
Oh, my, yes. You nailed it. Unfortunately, I recognized myself as having been a (White) Sapphire for many years, for all the reasons you gave: anger, frustration, hurt, trauma, betrayal, and turning him off before he could hurt me. Now I understand why most people don’t like me, and never have. I’m not at all proud to admit it, but at least now I recognize it, which means I can work on myself. It’s going to take a lot of time and work, and probably a lot of tears, but I now know that I can heal, especially with the help of a therapist. Thank you, Chloe, for showing me this self-defeating personality trait in myself. I’m not looking for a husband (have one, poor guy), but it would be nice to have a couple of friends who will actually want to be my friend. I know I do have a lot of good personality traits, so I have to focus on those and work on getting rid of those negative ones that have been holding me back in life for so long, in relationships, friendships and especially, at work. Thank you again; you may have just saved me. I’ll be re-watching this video many times, and I will always remember you for waking me up.
This is huge!!! I love your videos ❤️❤️❤️!!!! My husband recognized my feminine energy when we met. Some of these sapphires want to be the modern woman but may have taken it out of context. I’m still bold but gracefully and calm. There is a balance that has to be met. I’m dealing with a friend now who is exactly how you’re describing her! She’s so negative. Dating the same old dusty men knowing they don’t care about her. Think she’s the bees knees but doesn’t see her own damaging patterns that’s bringing all of these bad energy men her way. She even tries to say slick things about my husband. He takes care of me and she always says she wishes she met a man like that. Just way too much for me. I’m over her mess.
This behaviour is not limited to African women. I have "friends" who are Indian and Chinese who do the same thing. I used to view this as a race specific issue but women in general have this attitude when they are unhappy and have no ambitions in life. They are everywhere and what I hate most about these "Sapphires" is how their poisonous energy seeps into you ! They will pile up on the disrespect towards you to "erase" your femininity and once you've had enough, you tend to lash out in a very masculine, un-elegant fashion ( which is natural ) and boom ! All of a sudden, now, they're going to be the party who responds in a feminine manner. The typical bait and switch method. Stay away from these types . They're a waste of time.
@fifikhalifa barry When I said African women, I used it as a broad term to include both African American and African from Africa. My message was mainly : sapphires can come from any race group.
You have to watch it when they even vent to you. People like to steal someone else's calm, I'm convinced they want to even if they dont know it! I'm sure there were times you were quiet and calm, and a woman comes to you telling a story filled with nervous energy and you feel it. Then she walks away and you can see she's peaceful, and now you feel anxious. So many things to watch for
Horrible shows! I started watching the oval the other day after hearing about it. I was in shock. A first black lady who is portrayed as mean, cruel, fighting, abusive etc..I couldn't continue.
I am definitely a sapphire. I get into it with people wherever I go especially when things are not to my liking or people are being rude, difficult, condescending or just plain ignorant.
@Florence Nightingale We both know that's not true. We have all seen some loud mouth woman start shit with some dude and a fight break out. We're not even talking about kids, grown women talking to people any type way. Let's not lie to ourselves now. We've seen this too many times to act like this doesn't happen.
Hmmm....I can say that I am some of this, but not all of this, or maybe I should reword that, I am A LOT if this video, but not all of it. I appreciate this video because while I am aware that it definitately does not contribute to my feminine energy, I did not know how to handle it. I will be looking at this video on repeat because I do not want this to be me.
Unfortunately this hits home for a lot of us but not many are willing to admit it. But it starts with being honest with ourselves in order to begin doing the necessary work to make change. You are not alone in your, which is why we're all here watching this video. I pray for progression for us all in our feminine journey 💕
Great vid as usual. There are a lot of youtube and IG gurus that are 100% sapphires and have black women snapping their fingers in agreement with their non stop outrage rants. Watch the message you consume ladies. The messenger will lead you to toxicity if you're not careful. Also... just a reminder to not respond to the cornball dusties in the comments 😌
Ugh I’m so guilty of being a sapphire over the years but I’m 18 now and over the past 2 years I’ve changed a lot, I’ve only just begun watching your videos and I hope that I’m able to start to become more feminine
I just realized that I'm a "sapphire"....😔. I would always carry the mindset of "I'll get them before they get me". As well as for so long carrying a negative energy.....
I think I can at times be this way. One way I’ve learned to dodge energy like this from coming out of me is not entertaining bs. Another way is resist the urge to tell someone about themselves. I can just excommunicate myself from certain people.
Anger, drama and outrage are addictive and our culture and media (by our culture I mean North American culture) feed into it. All these toxic “reality” shows, news feeds...it all feeds into our addiction to outrage. Protect yourself carefully. Watch your “media diet” like a hawk. Listen to music that lifts you up, watch movies that inspire or teach you. Be very careful of you who spend time with. Daily meditation is like a mental shower. It is spiritual and emotional hygiene. I know it sounds woo-woo but it’s a total vibe upgrade when you do it consistently. I spend only about 5-15 minutes a day and I’ve released so many old toxic patterns and healed so much. My daughter has really noticed how much softer my edges are now. People are now drawn to me in a way they never have been before.
You sound so much like myself lol. I even talk about media consumption and "softening my edges" 😄. I read tarot and oracle cards and pulled one the other day that literally said to "soften your edges" haha. Yes I meditate and I'm into what others would consider "woo woo".💕
My mom is a Sapphire. Sadly I have inherited some of her traits. I would say the first way to change is to be self-aware. Many people aren't aware of their own energy whether it be a sapphire, narc, know it all, judgemental, etc...Behavioral and Cognitive therapy are really good tools to start changing. Figuring what causes these behaviors, healing and learning to love your self. Also learning how to express your frustrations and anger in a healthy way. Simply bottling everything in for the sake of others can hurt you as well. There has to be balance. Holding people accountable and having boundaries is a form of self love. I try to have grace to BW in general, even those who are sapphires because I know BW have been and do go through a lot of bullshit.
I can admit I was once a Sapphire. I'm still working on myself but getting better and better everyday! What you said is true, a lot of that negative energy does stem from unhealed trauma, so me now facing those past traumas are started to help heal me all around! How? Well for me the first thing I knew I had to do was stop ANYTHING that masked the hurt and not let me just deal with it! So Alcohol had to go. I didn't want any "temporary" fixes that really just made it all worse at the end. I wanted to feel what I felt and deal with it! So I can move on. And the more and more I do this the lighter my spirit has become and the better I'm becoming. Thanks for this video you reminded me why I'm doing what I'm doing because I refuse to be that woman!
Omg I was watching a show on Netflix and Benzino From Love And Hip Hops baby mother acts just like this and she was emasculating him .She was saying how she had more money than him .And very argumentative and draining.Also I had to cut off a friend because every time I got around her her attitude switched she would get a sudden nasty attitude and it’s so disgusting to me .I believe pessimistic women are like this as well.
I am so happy I found you channel! I found you a few weeks ago and now I’m binging your videos. I know I’m connecting to the message bc this morning I put on a faja with my dress to run errands and it instantly boosted my confidence! Many blessings to you Chloe! ✨💓
Yeah I use to be friends with one of those. Miserable unpleasant person that pretends to be happy. Cut that fake friendship off like a light. They are energy vampires.
Therealkylesister Ari is differently a sapphire! I couldn't even be on her page because ever two weeks she or her friends got something nasty to say or its some mess with someone she's dating.
But she keeps getting provider men? I went on her page to see why or how she keeps getting these rich men, I realized that these men see her as a trophy because of her body and her popularity but they'll never stay with her they all end up leaving just like amber rose
Dionne Walker those men aren’t really rich to me or/and they have wayyy to much baggage. Moneybag has way to many children and I think he loves her but I don’t think he really takes the relationship seriously. Ari has a nasty attitude and attract men with nasty attitudes.tbh Ari will do anything to keep a man.
I'm still working on my own version of that...It's a form of codependancy to babysit the world with nastiness and self-righteous indignation..It's not the real me...It's such of a relief to let most of it go, and the men love real softness. They live for it....I get way less headaches too! We can make ourselves sick with our own behaviors, ladies ..Never too late to learn...
I had a woman like this on my job before I got laid off. I was always super feminine, so that led to attention from male coworkers, which led her to be jealous and spread rumors about me.
Love this video! I’m on birth control for hormonal issues and I tend to get very moody, but it’s never an excuse to be aggressive and derogatory. I’m more of a silent person when upset.
I became a full-on sapphire a few years ago when I became domineering and was leading in my masculine; but thank you so much to feminine you-tubers like you Chloe, you helped me realize what I needed to change the most in my life... Ever since I began my femininity journey, people have told me that I became more patient, and I don’t appear angry or unkept anymore. I also listen more than I speak, and I am less direct and brash. Thank God for TH-camrs like you Chloe! 🌸💛🌸
I have been on my feminine journey a very short time and OMG the major changes in the type of man I attract is crazy! I used to be so masculine without knowing it. I really appreciate your straight up and guidance 💖
Hey Chole been a minute since I’ve commented. Omg!! I literally just experienced the 2nd hand embarrassment of a miserable Sapphire while on a couples trip to LA.. While it was a little draining at times it didn’t disrupt my feminine disposition... and my son’s father only protected my femininity- which fueled her misery more. At one point she became so silently angry I thought she was going to have a nervous break down, or hurt her feminine beta bf!😩🤦🏾♀️
Happy Sunday ladies. Please stay safe and blessed out there. Just don’t be entangled with the demons whether family, friends or potential partners, avoid them like coronavirus, and you will gain your femininity back.
These women are also so hard to be friends with. They pop off over the slightest hiccup and I'm usually sitting there unbothered, then they are annoyed with me for not agreeing/jumping in.
Admittedly I was this person for a little over a year up until recently after a relationship with a narcissist/psychopathic man. I was nothing like this before meeting him - I’d been deep in Woman centered/feminine spiritual practice for years and had healed so many aspects of myself. I’m a powerful, feminine Woman who LOVES being a woman ♥️ I was just so naive, inexperienced and didn’t really know anything about how men truly operate. I thought that if I just focused on myself and fully own my inner world, keep myself happy and high vibe then I’d naturally attract the right partner (who works on himself and values what I value) and fulfill my desire to be a mom and creative entrepreneurial wife one day. That’s what the unicorns and rainbows spiritual community would have you believe. I never thought to lean into any kind of strategy when dealing with men or about how my very easy going, non expectation having, let things unfold organically vibe was communicating ‘low value’. I was never trying to manipulate an outcome, I was just living my life. I did the right things, make good money on my own and take care of myself. Those traits are high caliber dusty magnets 🧲 One slip in my energy while working at a stressful company was all it took for a very highly skilled manipulator to slip through the cracks. My reaction to having been bamboozled by a covert woman hating fuck boy who’s personal brand was that of an ‘activist for women’ - my reaction was the ignition of this archetype. The Sapphire. I was so unhinged and emotionally unstable and unrecognizable to myself - I seriously felt alien in my own skin. If there are any women out there struggling with this, one thing that really helped me close the loop on this reaction formation character was having deep compassion for everything that I’d been through, for the girl inside that the joker got to and learning how to better protect myself. Knowing that you have your back no matter what - not giving a fuck about who needs to be stepped to or put in their place (gently) if/when a situation comes up will neutralize this toxic masculine expression and help you to rest more comfortably in your feminine. Also feeling into both hemispheres of the brain. When I realized I was dealing with a con artist I consciously shut down my emotions to escape back having the immediate PTSD response that I needed to. It’s best to feel all of your feelings involved with whatever has happened in your life. Don’t delay it - delaying is costly.
I need that 7 major energy blockers video Chloe_. Thanks for this video and I am afraid that I am perpetuating Sapphire Energy. I need to get out of it. Thanks
Chloe, you really did something when you made this video. My mom is a Sapphire I'm finding out. Now I'm doing everything in my power to kill the learned Sapphire energy in myself and not pass it down to my own girls.
I think I have some traits 😭 I don’t think before I speak. I need to make my anger expensive and get some therapy, but I’m not disrespectful . I don’t want to be bitter. 🙏🏽
I’m surrounded by them. It oozes of their skin. They live off bad energy and take pleasure in people short comings. I learned with them you can’t entertain it and they will try you.
I know quite a few sapphire women and they're very toxic women. I guess these women think, any attention is good. These women ALWAYS have an "enemy". And yes please do the video. Examples of sapphire women: Evelyn from Love & Hip Hop and K. Michelle. Great commentary Chloe as always❤
I used to live there reacting to my narc step father all the time and in the aftermath of the abuse and bullying. It’s what they call “reactive abuse.” So glad I learned better tho. But also, there was a time I had to vent and get it all out as well. At that time I wasn’t in the least bit interested in men or relationships. It was just life in a war zone for me. Wounded and enraged and trying to survive. I transferred this to all men and would refer to them as the “male species.” But there’s a time and a place for that and it also needs to be actually released and let go (and like in a support group etc-a safe container) as well. It’s a real problem when women hold onto it like their childhood blankie tho. Idk about now, but I think I’d say Ashley Judd had some of that energy going on at some point. Back then I could Def see some of her in me. Pretty and all, but just a very hurt and angry woman.
Somebody watching this right now knows that they are just like this. You are mean to people around you who are nice to you. You judge and give everyone a hard time over any little thing, you think your opinion is law and you gossip and back-bite like it’s nobody’s business. Women like this are even mean to their own children. Change your ways before it’s too late. I know women like this and once I see these traits I distance myself immediately. I believe in energy transference and I don’t want that bad energy around me.
This has Amanda Seales written all over it💁🏽♀️ (YES I SAID IT) She actually blocked me for saying the truth about her joining the Real! As you see she didn't last a Year! I still wish her the best but she is constantly Self Sabotaging herself.
I knew you were going to speak truth when I delayed hitting "play" on this video. I've been working on it, even asking my husband to (politely) check me when I go too far
Ugh Chloe why you keep coming for my edges 😫😫😫! I have had friends , co workers, and dusties, shame me for not being a sapphire, I have been bullied by sapphires, and now I’m in a position at work trying to get back in to my feminine groove after being sabotaged by a back staber and I keep getting triggered and provoked into acting like a sapphire too prevent more back stabbing 😓. Real talk Chloe I think the sapphire stereotype that has been forced upon black women and encouraged by the media( Atlanta house wives, love and hip hop, etc.) is sometimes a reaction we are pushed into having under the guise of being assertive or no nonsense and ends up back firing horribly . So my question is what is the proper feminine reaction when people intentionally try to provoke black women ???
MsZoomification Thanks : In personal life it definitely works to ignore block walk away and ghost . Work has always been a bigger challenge. The Pink Pill feminine channel has a video regarding it called relational aggression. Unfortunately ,its not substantial enough to fall into a harassment complaint to HR. At this point Im working on “ not reacting “. Toxic women have a way of constantly trying to undermine feminine energy. SMH. Its just eye opening to have Chloe identity this “ Sapphire “ behavior and give it a name.
Chloe: as you spoke this video it hit my spirit HARD! I am now going through a divorce from being in a 22 year marriage which was toxic, abusive, and full of manipulation and pain. My childhood was also painful and I met this man right after I turned 18. It took me a long, long time to know and understand that our relationship was dysfunctional. As I listened to your video my spirit kept crying: HELP! So many things you said reminded me of the trauma I endured. I’m trying to heal myself now, and I desire to be a Hypergamous woman. I’ve never been taught what ‘Soft’ was until I began listening to You. I know it’s gonna take time but I am going to learn. Thank you 🙏🏽
Girl you make me want to cry, so many people are touched and changed by your revelation knowledge. God bless you for sharing what you received 🙏. Thank you 💖💖
I wish I would have seen this last week. I have so much more to learn in my growth journey. Thank you Chloe for your channel. I’m trying so hard to unlearn everything I taught myself about myself. I don’t want to be a smiling happy go lucky sapphire anymore! I have allowed my trauma to make me this woman for long enough. Ironically I am an extroverted introvert Virgo-whose birthstone is sapphire. Thankful for God’s grace. I’m sabotaging my blessings. No longer!
Unfortunately this describes me 😔 I need to change because it's holding me back. I used to think it was cool to be petty and always have a "clapback," but being known as the "angry black woman" isn't attractive. Chloe you have opened my eyes, thank you.
Was talking to my maintenance guy the other day and he said your not like most girls you know, like your not aggressive. I laughed and said yes i’m a lady who is feminine and not masculine, and he said yes it’s very refreshing. It felt good to hear that lol.
I love how you speak, very clear and debilitated . Your information is point on. I listen daily. Thank you for making sure that I'm informed. Excellent
I loved this video because you described a bitter person very well! It is to a person's detriment to continue on that path! The key to my overcoming bitterness was to evaluate my life, continually forgive myself and others and travel the road of healing. I believe Tammy Roman was considered having a Sapphire personality and Stevie J"s old girlfriend, the one who called herself the Puerto Rican princess!
Speak truth! If this Sapphire archetype turns me off as a woman and a friend, I know for SURE it turns men off! Once again, thank you Chloe 👌🏽
A great point Ms. Jones! Years ago, when i started my awakening, I realized that I wouldn’t want a friend treating me the way I treated my (then) boyfriend. It’s unfortunately common that we take out our anxieties and upset on those that love us most, much like a teenager treating their parents rudely.
@@kylietaylor396 I love when we're able to self reflect and impart the golden rule. It makes life easier...on ourselves and those we truly do love. Good going!
I went on a date last night and he said WOW Female Energy. He thought I didn’t hear him I smiled and said to myself Thanks Chloe 🥰Blessings
Oooooww you go girl!!!
Oooooww you go girl!!!
Wow! This is the first I've heard anyone talk about going on a date with a man who wasn't already a bf pre-quarantine. Girl, how was it? Did you two have to wear masks? Did you already know him prior to the lockdown? Just curious. hehe
Awesome!!!! ❤
aww that makes my heart so happy to hear :)
I feel like having a constant aggressive, defensive and argumentative attitude has the potential to throw off a woman's hormonal system. This is why I have chosen to curb content that triggers me. I also feel like it actually makes your face less physically attractive over time. I swear it just changes a woman's aura to where it repells rather than attracting good things to her.
You are right.
Great point!
Good observation!!
I agree, this is also why it’s important to control your living environment. If you live with people who bring you down, or in a negative neighborhood ; it drags you down as well.
Yes! I really have to protect my vibe carefully. From the music I listen to and shows I watch to the people I am around and the news I read. I guard my energy very very carefully. Meditation really helps too. It’s like giving my mind a shower, spiritual hygiene.
The sapphire typically has wounded masculine energy that needs to be healed. If they don’t heal, they will end up attracting, wounded feminine energy (aka weak men).
well said
I’ve been actively trying to figure out for years how to heal that and the time just keeps ticking 😪
M you need to find the root of your wounded masculine energy. Try meditating, shadow work, and therapy. Once you figure it out you’ll know, because you’ll feel lighter. It also helps to look at patterns in the men you choose. What are their similarities and what do those similar traits link to in your life.
@@phillycoko23 Hi Nneka! What is shadow work? I never heard of it.
B Al it’s basically exploring your unconscious darker side of yourself. It helps to uncover all you repressed emotions, bad habits and the root of those habits. It help lead you to enlightenment and takes a little work and being honest with yourself.
This needs to be taught to our daughters so we won't continue these generational curses. I definitely have to check the Sapphire in myself at times because it isn't a good look
we would like the video on the 7 feminine energy blockers 🤗
Yess please
@Blue Eyes what country are you from ? It totally sounds like my country 😂
Yes please
@Blue Eyes I went on a date with a guy from Romania. We literally sat without our drinks in a Starbucks 😂😂
would love to see it, Chloe _
I recently dated a man that I feel was trying to bring out this Sapphire trait. He stated that since he was from the New York/New Jersey area, he was used to women that talked back more and were more aggressive. It just made me feel uncomfortable because I felt like he was purposefully doing things to try to make me angry.
How crazy do you have to be to actually want an aggressive masculine woman? God bless you Queen 👑
What an ass.. sounds like a narcissist to me .. you dogged a bullet..
Oh my God. Did his name start with an O ? I went through that too. I'm very jovial and friendly and he didnt like that. Even tried to change the way I dressed .
I have experienced this too it's such a turn off and shows you what kind of man youre dealing with
@@roseinharlem8152 exactly. Narcissist loves drama. He was trying stir it up.
These Sapphires are everywhere. In your Churches, Offices and even Retailers. I avoid them at all costs. Now I have a name for them. Thanks Chloe 😊💯
Wise... the few good sisters should avoid that Energy altogether, so it doesn't tarnish their destinies.
I will admit that I have been a sapphire lately because of hurt and anger but the video snatched my edges and I commit to go better and be feminine inside and out! No more blocking my own blessings!
we r here for support! bless up
I'm with you on this! and for me the anger was coming from watching a little too much of a certain kind of content on TH-cam. I've chosen to take a LONG break from consuming triggering content.
🖤
Same!!! 😂😂 but we got this💪🏼💎
Same but we will get there eventually
I personally feel that a Sapphire is a woman who uses the powerful emotion of anger to cover up her Depression and although black women do not like talking about depression, depression is very very common amongst all women; but particularly black women. And there is no denying that perpetual anger and depression go hand in hand. I look at anger as a mask that over time becomes a comfortable crutch and a comfortable distraction for women who are committed to digging their heels into their brokenness. There's always something underneath the "anger" of a Woman's Mask and it's usually it's unhealed trauma, bitterness, depression, loneliness, life dissatisfaction or unfulfillment. I am only introducing this term to my channel because I see a lot of women in the comments section who seem to be hell bent and committed to fueling, feeding, aiding and abetting to their own feminine destruction whether they want to or not. If a woman is watching my videos and she still cannot seem to let her anger go then she needs professional help, and like I've said from the beginning of my channel there is no help but self-help.
#straightfacts
Chloe_ Thank You hoping for something make the heart sick. Which lead to other factors in our cultures. It’s too much help out here for BW to be living in darkness. Enough Is Enough once she knows herself the Power is indescribable. Thank You for using your platform to help BW know their worth.(Priceless) Blessings Chloe 🥰
Agreed
You were spot on with your assessment, Chloe. Especially, considering the article that came out a few months ago that said research found that black women tend to express/mask their depression with anger.
K. Michelle is the poster child of a sapphire 😩
Absolutely, especially the other day; what she said about Ari’s boyfriend. It was super uncalled for and rude.
Kasandra Guilbeau she is so toxic
Yessss , I noticed this about her years ago but didn’t know how to articulate it ! She literally purposely causes drama in her own life then blames the world
...and she probably doesn't even realize or doesn't care that all that bullying and bickering she did with Tamar may have contributed to Tamar wanting to kill herself...
Absolutely 💯
I dealt with a woman like this at my last job- she was a “white” sapphire and IMO they can be very dangerous especially when they deal with a “black” woman who is not a typical stereotype...
Hi! Please, would you develop a bit more on how they are dangerous when facing a non-stereotypical black woman?
Man, thats sooooo true!!
The Inner G me too sis. They are very toxic.
She had bad temper, no man, no children, and not close to her family. These women was difficult to work with. But there were many enablers around her.
I keep my distance from her.
I been in that same exact situation at work........and dont let it be a older ww
@@JC-gq2lo Yup. In my case, she was an older white woman. I feel like people give those women the benefit of the doubt. She makes the place a hostile work environment.
Tommie from Love and Hip Hop is like this she is very angry insecure and aggressive and she is soo beautiful to me.😢I feel for her sooo much .I hope she overcomes.
It’s so sad because she is so beautiful and such a fashionista.
There is a woman I work with and she acts like what is described in the video. She called me the other day and starts talking about how it's so hard and she is dealing with alot. She never went into detail and I am glad and I did not ask because I do not care. She is always being negative and complaining and always wanting to know people's business for her own personal use. She wonders why life is so hard. She needs to look at what she does.
@@Tatianarain I think the biggest issue with people who complain with their lives they are not leave with themselves. They always have to have to be disruptive.
@@Saveren_ It is. I really people want others to be overly emotional involved in their mess it's sad. I prayed and I start looking at men's behavior too when dealing with women who constantly complain. They just be like yeah ok and men start mentally blocking them out. Also, I bring things to God too. I told God in prayer, I will like this woman to stop asking me for my personal items like lotions, safety pins, and gum. I feel like you should have items like this in your purse because you are woman. I stopped overly trying to help people to. If they don't ask, I'm not giving unless it's family or some friends. I really start evaluating my actions to slowly detach from a person. The same co worker who complains all the time, she told one of the HR people at our job said to her if you don't like your job shut up or leave and this was months ago. Which makes me think she wants and enjoys complaining about the job. I know this is easier than said but I can tell you pereserve through it.
@@dreamyanon5151 I had the same issue. In the end I ended things because after 1 year of nagging, hating, talking mostly about things going wrong/missing in her life I just couldnt take it anymore.
I'd advise you to learn some phrases to show your boundaries. Maybe something like:" I hear you. Is there anything that I can do to help? ( to get out of being just the emotional trash can). If not ( no help wanted) : I'm sorry that you are going through this. It must be really hard. I noticed that this keeps happening (the complaining) and I'm not sure if I am the best help/support for you. I need to take care of myself and I begin to feel that your issues have an impact on me/ I 'm starting to feel drained /I wish I could help but I need to take care of myself first
I dont have the capacities to support you/ listen to you right now.
Something like this.
Just state what you are feeling without blaming the other person.
I wish I did this but I kept "being nice" and feeling more and more resentment and anger inside.
Good luck!
My mother is a "sapphire"-it damaged her marriage and her relationship with her daughters and grandchildren-she is blind to her own flaws (self-righteous) and overly critical of others. Always fussing and complaining about something🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️It is an extremely unattractive archetype.
mine is exactly the same. I feel your pain Nicole. I honestly just decided to give up & let her be,she refuses to change or even take responsibility for her actions & toxic behaviour.I had to establish extreme boundaries with her which made her even more bitter to a point where she provoked me so hard to get a reaction out of me & i gave in & falsely accusing me of attacking. & not to mention being threatened with curses esp coming being that i am an African. I am the black sheep of the family & i am ok with that. if anyone brings me that kind of misery in my life, they can piss off including family
@@snjezanakristo7693 its so sad how people will still say "love her" she is still your mother not realizing how difficult & mentally draining it is to deal/tolerate/ love a person like that
@@janekhanyile7600 You can love your mom as best as you can from a distance that's comfortable for you. You need to protect yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically at all costs. You owe no one an explanation for this. If your family and/or friends are not supportive of your decision tell them to kick rocks and ghost them.
So is mine🤷🏿♀️
It sounds like a narcissistic mom is being described.
Honestly, my mother is a Saphire. However, it's not completely her fault. My father is a dusty who refuses to provide for his family. My mother has been the man of the house paying the bills/rent, cooking, etc. The weight on her shoulders is heavy. My father is the type of person that hates working under people. He has been fired from numerous jobs. Even when he has started his own businesses (with the financial support of my mother) they fail. Honestly, I am ashamed of my father and have lost respect for him. I have no respect for any man who doesn't have the drive or motivation to take care of his family. As much as it is my father's fault I also blame my mother for allowing such treatment. It's because of their relationship that I have invested my time in hypergamy, femininity, and affluence. I want to marry a man that can provide for me and our future children even if it means dating outside my race. I refuse to settle and become a bitter woman full of regret like my mother.
@@noble604 Lol, sorry for being blunt. I just say it how it is. But I understand where you're coming from.
This is my mother’s story too. My father was not a providing man and she basically held our family together. I think she now has breadwinner depression.You really have to take heed to the people who you want to spend the rest of your life with.
My mothers story too but later on in her life, my dad started to change for the worse.
Shelly Clerveaux my dad too. My sister and I now carry the weight since my mother now works part time. My dad’s whole demeanor will change when my sister and I ask him to split a utility bill, but he’s always willing and able to give money to his siblings with their chronically unemployed grown children.
I feel like you just posted my life story. I am your mother. I ended a relationship with my children’s father who is a complete dusty and does not provide for my daughters. I recognize myself in your story and Chloe’s description of a Sapphire. I will definitely work on myself.
As BW migrate towards gentle femininity; WW have become the new Sapphires with their "Karen" persona. I don't think they realize what's taking place. WM are making videos about Karen left and right.
Yes, you are so right! Wow!
I've noticed this too! Surprised no one's talking about it but black women can be bashed? Call them all out...
Someone else pointed this out in another TH-camr's video. They called it peen envy. That's why we can't claim being ratchet and angry as acting Black when other women do it. Because it hurts us in the end. Let the new switch of stereotypes take over haha
True , but nothing "new" about the nasty persona -they started it in the 60s
Wm have been complaining about white women like that since the 80s if I remember correctly. Lots were looking for brides from eastern Europe and Spanish speaking countries. It was a thing in the media.
When Cloe said "Ashy Knuckles" I looked down at my hands 😂 I'm Good 💅😂
*Chloe
Saaaaaammmmmeeee!!!! 😂
She cracks me uuuuupp 😂❤
Amanda Seales is completely a sapphire. She’s always ready to entertain drama or some type of injustice in the most nastiest way. I like that she’s not afraid to speak up, but I could always tell deep within she wishes she didn’t have to do it all the time. Now she wants to tone down, more than likely she looked around and saw that she’s one year from 40, with cats and realized she wants love and happiness just like most women. Another great video Chloe, love you oh so much!
K K She’s a beautiful in terms of looks, attraction wise - she could do better with learning to be more honey like. I said above I appreciate her work and her need to stand up for injustices.
She talks too much, especially about exes. And its usually nothing good. Quality men probably see her coming as a red flag a mile away. She comes across as perpetually angry and that likely attracts a certain type.
I’m gonna say something triggering but for me a light skinned woman who didn’t get married with a black man which is her type has something wrong with her. They are ready to give you the world just because you light skinned and you manage to be single ? Make no sense to me. I hope she will do some internal work. She has daddy issues too :/
Omg she is the FIRST person I thought of when I saw the title
Haryel Haryel Her self esteem needs work, she’s a Cancer, they’re naturally very sensitive and loving. She has it in her but she hardens it with a lot of her childhood issues that she still needs to solve. You could tell on The Real when Jeannie, Tamara and Adrienne would talk about their relationships her face would be stale cause she knows deep inside she wishes she could join in and be apart of that. It’s natural for women to want to feel loved and to be soft and alluring, she somehow fell into a deep trap of being the hardened shell
I never knew the term Sapphire, just anger black woman. I use to be a sapphire, it was learned behavior from my mom who is a married woman. Growing up seeing how she dealt with life situations caused me to be the same. Years ago after seeing how it affected my friendships and relationships, I decided to change. It was hard but I look at life and situations with a better and happier light now. Thank you Chloe I still need reminders ❤️
Noble thank you ❤️
This is not who I am 90% of the time, but this past week I caught myself acting this way. Not for attention or to spread negativity, but to protect myself and because I lost control due to being off balance.... I deeply regret the way I spoke and lost control but I have to figure out the triggers and how to avoid this in the future. I didn’t appreciate what was going on at the time, but there was a more perfect way to handle it. Needless to say I have some extra alone time to figure it out. 🤷🏽♀️
Having a low moment does not make a woman a Sapphire. A Sapphire is a woman who LEADS and Dwells in her negative for attention. Those women end up sick, angry and bitter. Being feminine and ladylike is not about being perfect but it is about getting out of you own way to find joy, happiness And fulfillment. 💄
“... cannot be covered with lipstick & a dress.” 😆😁 Chloe you’re hilarious, but absolutely truthful👍👍
Came back to this video as it was referenced in the latest Monitoring spirit video. I watched this video four years ago when it was first uploaded. I was at the beginning of my spiritual shift at that time. It was two years before I went with my sister in 2022. I had no idea when I watched in 2020 that I would become estranged with my sister. She was the monitoring spirit at that time as I was sharing all of my new ideas, gifts, creativity and epiphanies. Slowly within the year she started copying me and subtly stealing my ideas and personality as her own. By the time I caught on enough we wound up in an explosive confrontation. Ofc she made herself out to be the victim, me the villain whilst using her (my) newfound personality to attack me to mutual peers and talk down to me. Being brought back to this video now it describes her perfectly for the most part. Long story long, this was very validating to rewatch now post “war.” Unfortunately I suffered some setbacks that I’m still recovering from due to many levels of her sneaky infiltration, but I’m here. These videos remind me that I’m not alone in a community of women that either are this woman or enable this woman out of cowardice. Thank you Chloe for the work that you do.
*it was two years before I went No Contact with my sister.
The movie ‘Deliver is from Eva’ with Gabrielle Union is literally the epitome of the Sapphire black woman while all her other sisters and sweet and feminine.
just1desi Being Mary Jane?
@imjustsaying im the oldest and she was most definitely overdoing it and emasculating everyone, super cringeworthy, in the midst of all that beautiful fine-ness
I think that I am sapphire. I don't even know when this happen but I have sabotaged potentially great relationships.
The first step is acknowledgement, then healing. I have anger, not the other features, but we are the same boat. Celebrate your ability to grow and learn from the experience.
It’s understandable sis. I’m glad that you came to identify it. I hope you strategize and make action to move beyond it. Good luck 🌞
Thank you, I am working on it.
Please do the video on the blockers of feminine energy.
Patrice J I second this request 💜
yes I third this request
4th this request
You really broke this one down Chloe, that description was nothing but the truth. If you didn’t think you knew what a Sapphire was before this video, now you realized that you know that chick too well..
Oh, my, yes. You nailed it. Unfortunately, I recognized myself as having been a (White) Sapphire for many years, for all the reasons you gave: anger, frustration, hurt, trauma, betrayal, and turning him off before he could hurt me. Now I understand why most people don’t like me, and never have. I’m not at all proud to admit it, but at least now I recognize it, which means I can work on myself. It’s going to take a lot of time and work, and probably a lot of tears, but I now know that I can heal, especially with the help of a therapist. Thank you, Chloe, for showing me this self-defeating personality trait in myself. I’m not looking for a husband (have one, poor guy), but it would be nice to have a couple of friends who will actually want to be my friend. I know I do have a lot of good personality traits, so I have to focus on those and work on getting rid of those negative ones that have been holding me back in life for so long, in relationships, friendships and especially, at work. Thank you again; you may have just saved me. I’ll be re-watching this video many times, and I will always remember you for waking me up.
Good luck with changing to be the best you 🙏🏽
A peddler of misery. I love the word play.
Please do the 7 energy blockers of Femininity video...we love to see it!!!
This is huge!!! I love your videos ❤️❤️❤️!!!! My husband recognized my feminine energy when we met. Some of these sapphires want to be the modern woman but may have taken it out of context. I’m still bold but gracefully and calm. There is a balance that has to be met. I’m dealing with a friend now who is exactly how you’re describing her! She’s so negative. Dating the same old dusty men knowing they don’t care about her. Think she’s the bees knees but doesn’t see her own damaging patterns that’s bringing all of these bad energy men her way. She even tries to say slick things about my husband. He takes care of me and she always says she wishes she met a man like that. Just way too much for me. I’m over her mess.
This behaviour is not limited to African women. I have "friends" who are Indian and Chinese who do the same thing. I used to view this as a race specific issue but women in general have this attitude when they are unhappy and have no ambitions in life. They are everywhere and what I hate most about these "Sapphires" is how their poisonous energy seeps into you ! They will pile up on the disrespect towards you to "erase" your femininity and once you've had enough, you tend to lash out in a very masculine, un-elegant fashion ( which is natural ) and boom ! All of a sudden, now, they're going to be the party who responds in a feminine manner. The typical bait and switch method. Stay away from these types . They're a waste of time.
@fifikhalifa barry When I said African women, I used it as a broad term to include both African American and African from Africa. My message was mainly : sapphires can come from any race group.
You have to watch it when they even vent to you. People like to steal someone else's calm, I'm convinced they want to even if they dont know it! I'm sure there were times you were quiet and calm, and a woman comes to you telling a story filled with nervous energy and you feel it. Then she walks away and you can see she's peaceful, and now you feel anxious. So many things to watch for
This is SO true.
Sounds like the "Housewifes". I hate those shows. Bad bad example of black women
Horrible shows! I started watching the oval the other day after hearing about it. I was in shock. A first black lady who is portrayed as mean, cruel, fighting, abusive etc..I couldn't continue.
I am definitely a sapphire. I get into it with people wherever I go especially when things are not to my liking or people are being rude, difficult, condescending or just plain ignorant.
You're not alone! 90% of bw are sapphire.
This almost sounds like the "Karen's" we have seen on social media. But I get Chole is talking about black women.
I wonder if it can be changed. I feel these attributes but I don’t want them. I guess that’s why I’m here to become more feminine. Thanks Chloe❤️
@Florence Nightingale We both know that's not true. We have all seen some loud mouth woman start shit with some dude and a fight break out. We're not even talking about kids, grown women talking to people any type way. Let's not lie to ourselves now. We've seen this too many times to act like this doesn't happen.
🙄me too.... I’m learning to reserve my input unless I will elevate from speaking up.
Meagan thee stallion, Jaguar Wright, Tyra Banks and Angel Reese have heavy sapphire energy.
Hmmm....I can say that I am some of this, but not all of this, or maybe I should reword that, I am A LOT if this video, but not all of it. I appreciate this video because while I am aware that it definitately does not contribute to my feminine energy, I did not know how to handle it. I will be looking at this video on repeat because I do not want this to be me.
Unfortunately this hits home for a lot of us but not many are willing to admit it. But it starts with being honest with ourselves in order to begin doing the necessary work to make change. You are not alone in your, which is why we're all here watching this video. I pray for progression for us all in our feminine journey 💕
Great vid as usual. There are a lot of youtube and IG gurus that are 100% sapphires and have black women snapping their fingers in agreement with their non stop outrage rants. Watch the message you consume ladies. The messenger will lead you to toxicity if you're not careful.
Also... just a reminder to not respond to the cornball dusties in the comments 😌
The 7 negative energy blockers of femininity is a video I would like see too. Thanks Chleo🌹
If you don't heal, pain will change you for the worse.
Ugh I’m so guilty of being a sapphire over the years but I’m 18 now and over the past 2 years I’ve changed a lot, I’ve only just begun watching your videos and I hope that I’m able to start to become more feminine
Don’t feel guilty, you are so Yooooung
happy for your transformation :)
I felt this but if you had the presence of mind to find and listen to chloe's channel, you will grow into any woman u desire to be.
SoMoS Thankyou so much and for yours too 😋
Florence Nightingale I was so triggered watching this video😂 like wow this girl has got to have cameras on me
I just realized that I'm a "sapphire"....😔. I would always carry the mindset of "I'll get them before they get me". As well as for so long carrying a negative energy.....
I think I can at times be this way. One way I’ve learned to dodge energy like this from coming out of me is not entertaining bs. Another way is resist the urge to tell someone about themselves. I can just excommunicate myself from certain people.
Anger, drama and outrage are addictive and our culture and media (by our culture I mean North American culture) feed into it. All these toxic “reality” shows, news feeds...it all feeds into our addiction to outrage. Protect yourself carefully. Watch your “media diet” like a hawk. Listen to music that lifts you up, watch movies that inspire or teach you. Be very careful of you who spend time with.
Daily meditation is like a mental shower. It is spiritual and emotional hygiene. I know it sounds woo-woo but it’s a total vibe upgrade when you do it consistently. I spend only about 5-15 minutes a day and I’ve released so many old toxic patterns and healed so much. My daughter has really noticed how much softer my edges are now. People are now drawn to me in a way they never have been before.
You sound so much like myself lol. I even talk about media consumption and "softening my edges" 😄. I read tarot and oracle cards and pulled one the other day that literally said to "soften your edges" haha. Yes I meditate and I'm into what others would consider "woo woo".💕
At Home With Eden you sound like a sister from another mister!! Have a beautiful day, lovely lady!
My mom is a Sapphire. Sadly I have inherited some of her traits. I would say the first way to change is to be self-aware. Many people aren't aware of their own energy whether it be a sapphire, narc, know it all, judgemental, etc...Behavioral and Cognitive therapy are really good tools to start changing. Figuring what causes these behaviors, healing and learning to love your self. Also learning how to express your frustrations and anger in a healthy way. Simply bottling everything in for the sake of others can hurt you as well. There has to be balance. Holding people accountable and having boundaries is a form of self love. I try to have grace to BW in general, even those who are sapphires because I know BW have been and do go through a lot of bullshit.
I tried telling my wounded sister about you today. I realized she is through and through a sapphire. I can't with it anymore. I need real peace.
I can admit I was once a Sapphire. I'm still working on myself but getting better and better everyday! What you said is true, a lot of that negative energy does stem from unhealed trauma, so me now facing those past traumas are started to help heal me all around! How? Well for me the first thing I knew I had to do was stop ANYTHING that masked the hurt and not let me just deal with it! So Alcohol had to go. I didn't want any "temporary" fixes that really just made it all worse at the end. I wanted to feel what I felt and deal with it! So I can move on. And the more and more I do this the lighter my spirit has become and the better I'm becoming. Thanks for this video you reminded me why I'm doing what I'm doing because I refuse to be that woman!
You just got me all the way together -definitely needed this.
Omg I was watching a show on Netflix and Benzino From Love And Hip Hops baby mother acts just like this and she was emasculating him .She was saying how she had more money than him .And very argumentative and draining.Also I had to cut off a friend because every time I got around her her attitude switched she would get a sudden nasty attitude and it’s so disgusting to me .I believe pessimistic women are like this as well.
I am so happy I found you channel! I found you a few weeks ago and now I’m binging your videos. I know I’m connecting to the message bc this morning I put on a faja with my dress to run errands and it instantly boosted my confidence! Many blessings to you Chloe! ✨💓
❤️
Wow, sounds like my mom 🤣
Yes! Mine too!
Same here...🥺💔
Drop the video the 7 energy blocking.
Yeah I use to be friends with one of those. Miserable unpleasant person that pretends to be happy. Cut that fake friendship off like a light. They are energy vampires.
Therealkylesister Ari is differently a sapphire! I couldn't even be on her page because ever two weeks she or her friends got something nasty to say or its some mess with someone she's dating.
I agree.
Yh had to unfollow her page
But she keeps getting provider men? I went on her page to see why or how she keeps getting these rich men, I realized that these men see her as a trophy because of her body and her popularity but they'll never stay with her they all end up leaving just like amber rose
Dionne Walker those men aren’t really rich to me or/and they have wayyy to much baggage. Moneybag has way to many children and I think he loves her but I don’t think he really takes the relationship seriously. Ari has a nasty attitude and attract men with nasty attitudes.tbh Ari will do anything to keep a man.
@@dionnewalker2308 yes I observed that aswell
Yes. I'd love a video about the 7 major energy blockers in femininity.
I'm still working on my own version of that...It's a form of codependancy to babysit the world with nastiness and self-righteous indignation..It's not the real me...It's such of a relief to let most of it go, and the men love real softness. They live for it....I get way less headaches too! We can make ourselves sick with our own behaviors, ladies ..Never too late to learn...
I had a woman like this on my job before I got laid off. I was always super feminine, so that led to attention from male coworkers, which led her to be jealous and spread rumors about me.
Me too
Me too
Sorry about the girl
Omg this happened to me!
I had a similar experience
Love this video! I’m on birth control for hormonal issues and I tend to get very moody, but it’s never an excuse to be aggressive and derogatory. I’m more of a silent person when upset.
LOOOL!!!
‘’Before you come for me with you’re ashy knuckles’’
Chloe_
Woah, you educated me today Ms. Chloe.👌🏾 Sadly, my mother embodies the Sapphire spirit and blocks her own blessings.
I became a full-on sapphire a few years ago when I became domineering and was leading in my masculine; but thank you so much to feminine you-tubers like you Chloe, you helped me realize what I needed to change the most in my life...
Ever since I began my femininity journey, people have told me that I became more patient, and I don’t appear angry or unkept anymore. I also listen more than I speak, and I am less direct and brash. Thank God for TH-camrs like you Chloe! 🌸💛🌸
I have been on my feminine journey a very short time and OMG the major changes in the type of man I attract is crazy! I used to be so masculine without knowing it. I really appreciate your straight up and guidance 💖
Hey Chole been a minute since I’ve commented. Omg!! I literally just experienced the 2nd hand embarrassment of a miserable Sapphire while on a couples trip to LA.. While it was a little draining at times it didn’t disrupt my feminine disposition... and my son’s father only protected my femininity- which fueled her misery more. At one point she became so silently angry I thought she was going to have a nervous break down, or hurt her feminine beta bf!😩🤦🏾♀️
azealia banks. that’s all i have to say.
Sky from Black Ink Crew is Queen Saaphire. I would consider Cardi B to be one too.
Yes please do the video on the 7 energy blockers of femininity
Happy Sunday ladies. Please stay safe and blessed out there. Just don’t be entangled with the demons whether family, friends or potential partners, avoid them like coronavirus, and you will gain your femininity back.
These women are also so hard to be friends with. They pop off over the slightest hiccup and I'm usually sitting there unbothered, then they are annoyed with me for not agreeing/jumping in.
Yes! I am here for this video. Another great one! 🦋
Admittedly I was this person for a little over a year up until recently after a relationship with a narcissist/psychopathic man.
I was nothing like this before meeting him - I’d been deep in Woman centered/feminine spiritual practice for years and had healed so many aspects of myself. I’m a powerful, feminine Woman who LOVES being a woman ♥️
I was just so naive, inexperienced and didn’t really know anything about how men truly operate.
I thought that if I just focused on myself and fully own my inner world, keep myself happy and high vibe then I’d naturally attract the right partner (who works on himself and values what I value) and fulfill my desire to be a mom and creative entrepreneurial wife one day.
That’s what the unicorns and rainbows spiritual community would have you believe. I never thought to lean into any kind of strategy when dealing with men or about how my very easy going, non expectation having, let things unfold organically vibe was communicating ‘low value’. I was never trying to manipulate an outcome, I was just living my life.
I did the right things, make good money on my own and take care of myself.
Those traits are high caliber dusty magnets 🧲
One slip in my energy while working at a stressful company was all it took for a very highly skilled manipulator to slip through the cracks.
My reaction to having been bamboozled by a covert woman hating fuck boy who’s personal brand was that of an ‘activist for women’ - my reaction was the ignition of this archetype.
The Sapphire.
I was so unhinged and emotionally unstable and unrecognizable to myself - I seriously felt alien in my own skin.
If there are any women out there struggling with this, one thing that really helped me close the loop on this reaction formation character was having deep compassion for everything that I’d been through, for the girl inside that the joker got to and learning how to better protect myself.
Knowing that you have your back no matter what - not giving a fuck about who needs to be stepped to or put in their place (gently) if/when a situation comes up will neutralize this toxic masculine expression and help you to rest more comfortably in your feminine.
Also feeling into both hemispheres of the brain. When I realized I was dealing with a con artist I consciously shut down my emotions to escape back having the immediate PTSD response that I needed to.
It’s best to feel all of your feelings involved with whatever has happened in your life. Don’t delay it - delaying is costly.
I need that 7 major energy blockers video Chloe_. Thanks for this video and I am afraid that I am perpetuating Sapphire Energy. I need to get out of it. Thanks
Chloe, you really did something when you made this video. My mom is a Sapphire I'm finding out. Now I'm doing everything in my power to kill the learned Sapphire energy in myself and not pass it down to my own girls.
I think I have some traits 😭 I don’t think before I speak. I need to make my anger expensive and get some therapy, but I’m not disrespectful . I don’t want to be bitter. 🙏🏽
I’m surrounded by them. It oozes of their skin. They live off bad energy and take pleasure in people short comings. I learned with them you can’t entertain it and they will try you.
I know quite a few sapphire women and they're very toxic women. I guess these women think, any attention is good. These women ALWAYS have an "enemy". And yes please do the video.
Examples of sapphire women: Evelyn from Love & Hip Hop and K. Michelle.
Great commentary Chloe as always❤
All the women on Fake Housewives and No Love & Not Relevant in Hip Hop.
I would love to see a video of 7 major energy blockers of femininity
I am a saphire due to depression. I will stop TODAY NOW!!!!!!
I used to live there reacting to my narc step father all the time and in the aftermath of the abuse and bullying. It’s what they call “reactive abuse.” So glad I learned better tho. But also, there was a time I had to vent and get it all out as well. At that time I wasn’t in the least bit interested in men or relationships. It was just life in a war zone for me. Wounded and enraged and trying to survive. I transferred this to all men and would refer to them as the “male species.” But there’s a time and a place for that and it also needs to be actually released and let go (and like in a support group etc-a safe container) as well. It’s a real problem when women hold onto it like their childhood blankie tho. Idk about now, but I think I’d say Ashley Judd had some of that energy going on at some point. Back then I could Def see some of her in me. Pretty and all, but just a very hurt and angry woman.
Thank you. Super upload. Yes to the video of the 7 major blockers of feminine energy.
Thanks for this video. Very eye opening. You are a gem to us.
Somebody watching this right now knows that they are just like this. You are mean to people around you who are nice to you. You judge and give everyone a hard time over any little thing, you think your opinion is law and you gossip and back-bite like it’s nobody’s business. Women like this are even mean to their own children. Change your ways before it’s too late.
I know women like this and once I see these traits I distance myself immediately. I believe in energy transference and I don’t want that bad energy around me.
This has Amanda Seales written all over it💁🏽♀️ (YES I SAID IT) She actually blocked me for saying the truth about her joining the Real! As you see she didn't last a Year! I still wish her the best but she is constantly Self Sabotaging herself.
I knew you were going to speak truth when I delayed hitting "play" on this video. I've been working on it, even asking my husband to (politely) check me when I go too far
A definite yesss to your question about a video re the 7 femininity blockers!
My birthstone is a sapphire 😂 lord help me
Ugh Chloe why you keep coming for my edges 😫😫😫! I have had friends , co workers, and dusties, shame me for not being a sapphire, I have been bullied by sapphires, and now I’m in a position at work trying to get back in to my feminine groove after being sabotaged by a back staber and I keep getting triggered and provoked into acting like a sapphire too prevent more back stabbing 😓. Real talk Chloe I think the sapphire stereotype that has been forced upon black women and encouraged by the media( Atlanta house wives, love and hip hop, etc.) is sometimes a reaction we are pushed into having under the guise of being assertive or no nonsense and ends up back firing horribly . So my question is what is the proper feminine reaction when people intentionally try to provoke black women ???
MsZoomification Thanks : In personal life it definitely works to ignore block walk away and ghost . Work has always been a bigger challenge. The Pink Pill feminine channel has a video regarding it called relational aggression. Unfortunately ,its not substantial enough to fall into a harassment complaint to HR. At this point Im working on “ not reacting “. Toxic women have a way of constantly trying to undermine feminine energy. SMH. Its just eye opening to have Chloe identity this “ Sapphire “ behavior and give it a name.
K K 🙌🏾
K K thanks 😊
Chloe, Please do a video on the energy blockers! 👏🏽
Please do the 7 blockers of feminine energy
Chloe: as you spoke this video it hit my spirit HARD! I am now going through a divorce from being in a 22 year marriage which was toxic, abusive, and full of manipulation and pain. My childhood was also painful and I met this man right after I turned 18. It took me a long, long time to know and understand that our relationship was dysfunctional. As I listened to your video my spirit kept crying: HELP! So many things you said reminded me of the trauma I endured. I’m trying to heal myself now, and I desire to be a Hypergamous woman. I’ve never been taught what ‘Soft’ was until I began listening to You. I know it’s gonna take time but I am going to learn. Thank you 🙏🏽
Girl you make me want to cry, so many people are touched and changed by your revelation knowledge. God bless you for sharing what you received 🙏. Thank you 💖💖
Chloe you need your own TV show
We love you Chloe! 💖
I love you too.❤️
I wish I would have seen this last week. I have so much more to learn in my growth journey. Thank you Chloe for your channel. I’m trying so hard to unlearn everything I taught myself about myself. I don’t want to be a smiling happy go lucky sapphire anymore! I have allowed my trauma to make me this woman for long enough. Ironically I am an extroverted introvert Virgo-whose birthstone is sapphire. Thankful for God’s grace. I’m sabotaging my blessings. No longer!
Unfortunately this describes me 😔 I need to change because it's holding me back. I used to think it was cool to be petty and always have a "clapback," but being known as the "angry black woman" isn't attractive. Chloe you have opened my eyes, thank you.
Hi Chloe _ Love your Content
Was talking to my maintenance guy the other day and he said your not like most girls you know, like your not aggressive. I laughed and said yes i’m a lady who is feminine and not masculine, and he said yes it’s very refreshing. It felt good to hear that lol.
I love how you speak, very clear and debilitated . Your information is point on. I listen daily. Thank you for making sure that I'm informed.
Excellent
I just learned that I am a sapphire. Time for some unlearning. Thank you chloe.
Hey Chloe_... So grateful for you. You are a blessing.
We are so ready for the video on energy blockers to femininity.
Thank you.
Hello Chloe👋🏾I would like to hear a video on the 7 major energy blockers... Great content, per usual.💋
See a lot of sapphires on those reality shows. This is really Good information.
I loved this video because you described a bitter person very well! It is to a person's detriment to continue on that path! The key to my overcoming bitterness was to evaluate my life, continually forgive myself and others and travel the road of healing. I believe Tammy Roman was considered having a Sapphire personality and Stevie J"s old girlfriend, the one who called herself the Puerto Rican princess!