Another excellent video Chole, you can make this a 10 part series and never run out of content. For me, it's simply that I was never taught about self esteem and my worth as it relates to men. I was taught to get an education, work hard so that I can take care of myself. Now I'm mid 50s, 6 figure income, own my home, drive no kids, have savings etc, and divorced twice (married the same dusty twice, just different names, and height). Long story short I haven't been on a date in 7 years because I just gave up after being hurt. I learned the hard way ladies. My family is the same as me, so I had no guidance..I'm not giving up though. Young ladies listen to Chole, don't waste your youth and your pretty on dusties. Get your self together and I learn your worth.
Very well said...I just turned 50 y.o. I've been single for 15 years. I've had two long term sex partners at the same time for about 19 years. Neither man stepped up to the plate and for a short period of time I thought it was me. Then I realized these men, although nice guys towards me most of the time, they were in between dusties and quality men. They kept jobs but nothing rarely came my way. No real date, no gifts, no nice gestures. I told myself I'll except this behavior just to keep allies near me because they checked in on me daily. As life took a turn and they couldn't so anything but say I'm sorry to hear that but can we still have sex. As life turned back up my eyes began to open and I became for confident without them weening myself away like drug. I'm now free of them from my body, no need to talk and share with them my personal business and never ask them for anything. They both also admitted they don't have the tools to be that man I deserve. And they're both right. My love and womanhood is so high and the man on my frequency is special and extremely hard to find.
April Love I’m so sorry you had to go through that especially with blood. Keep your head up and I hope you have found other outside support who are positive and happy for you for trying to improve your life
Agreed. I fell for the “potential” in my early 20s. Married him too. Only lasted 2 years because I woke up and realized he never respected nor loved me and he didnt even love himself. To this day at 47 years old hes still living in his father’s basement with heart problems. Karma.
Tn Girl54 Be honest, not every woman is not going to get the man of her dreams, just like every man is not going to get his Beyoncé. Let’s be realistic. And if your response to that is... “then I will just be single“ then you are letting Chloe lead you to a life of misery, loneliness, and unfulfilled motherhood (Unless you’re willing to all the single mom route like so many others)
I can’t tell you how good therapy has been. I was that hurt little girl in a 28 year old woman’s body. But healing those issues with my mom has been amazing. Seek it ladies, & God. It’s sad that therapy is so stigmatized in the black community
I love this definition of worth! YES! What I always say is it’s not the accolades or accomplishments, it’s the acts of working on self and building value so you won’t accept anything less! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Petit Piment glacé that is so true!! When I was young, I heard some of these concepts before, but I couldn’t hear it because I was so busy trying not to be a gold digger or ask for too much. So, of course, I ended up with a master’s degrees, a great paying job, and a dusty that’s could not (or wouldn’t) keep a job!!!
I was just talking about this recently,, I’ve seen lazy, no ambition having women with men who treat them like gold. They only care about their looks and what they want and men flock to them. And I’m over here independent, getting promotions, and raises, in school to get certified and single as a Kraft cheese slice😒
Because men dont look at those things. Dont get me wrong most want a woman that they can connect with, converse with, has a skill, but they are driven by looks initially. So invest in that heavily! As shallow as it is, men are biologically wired like this, no amount of feminism is going to change them as a whole. *hugs*
@@bd3966 true. i love my smartness and all that but i love my looks just as much. there is nothing wrong with a woman investing in her looks just as much as she invests in other things
Jay2x's Spot on. When educated women put that same energy into dating, the tables will turn. Think of it as a course, study it daily; pass the exam and reap the benefit.
Sorry to tell you this...men don't care about all of the things you mentioned you have over the "pretty, lazy" women. Since literally the beginning of time men have been interested in looks and the way a woman puts energy and effort in keeping herself up. So, to you she seems lazy... to a man she's simply focused that same energy and ambition in a more feminine direction. I have always dated men of means, I'm currently engaged to one, but I have not even finished my Bachelor's (although I do work in HR making more than people with Master's degrees). I have asked the men over the years because I, myself was curious (since I also bought into the narrative when I was younger that men want highly accomplished women). What they ALL said (in different ways) was that other things were higher on their list of priorities when looking for a woman. The accolades were more at the bottom for them, and even then based on how the woman made them *FEEL* inside emotionally, they were willing to ditch it altogether. They also said professional accomplishments and degree did not guarantee true intelligence and class in a woman as well (some of the examples they gave of their exes were both sad and funny) . Intelligence and class was also high up on their priority list.
"dumpster diving" is very easy and usual. there are so many women married to men they don't respect because the men are beneath them and they know it, but the idea of being married and not being alone is more important to them.
Chloe is spot on that many ppls parents don’t teach them self worth from a young age (which is where it starts) bc they don’t have it themselves and you can’t teach your kids something you don’t even have, hence the generational curse. So most ppl have not the slightest clue on how to level up and change, but we live in a different time where knowledge is shared through the internet. Our parents didn’t have the resources we have today so there is no longer any sort of “excuse” to stay in victim mentality. It wasn’t your fault your mom didn’t teach you these skills but look at you now, here you are learning from Chloe so now you can do better! You have to want it and understand the transformation doesn’t happen overnight, unlearning toxic past behaviors and developing new ones is a lot of hard work and a very painful process but the reward is unmatched!!! You can do it, you deserve to have what every other hypergamous woman has!
Elle D I mean it generally which involves the entire package of the relationship you have with them, the way they make you feel, by words, by actions, treatment...etc . I’m not specifically referring to just telling you, I mean the entire relationship in totality teaches you your self worth from a young age.
Yes! I'm so here for this girl. I saw a beautiful woman who could have easily passed for a model dumpster diving (I mean climbing in an actual dumpster behind a grocery store to get food) while her "man" sat on the curb waiting for her to bring the food to him. I couldn't believe it! Why didn't anyone teach her about value!
I wish more women know that they are valuable. Women, teach your daughters about value so that they can avoid dating losers and find someone who can take care of them and not use them up.
Sunshine Smile My own mother has always been jealous of me and tried to destroy me. She’s an evil bitter envious narcissistic sociopath. Tried to destroy her own daughter’s life. And I’ve met very few women who were actually kind to me.
Thanks for the message. The apt complex I live, I'm the only person whose single. However I see what my neighbors go through. Yelling, screaming, cheating. The men don't work. Been there done that years ago. So at peace knowing I'm not sleeping next to headache every night just to say I have a man!
@@DarkAries76 idk. I work and have my son in activities. We travel and always doing something fun. My so called BFF at work who married a dusty and she attend church weekly can't understand why I have peace and she doesn't. Began calling me names, fat a** and now said I'm the ugliest girl at the office.
Women who are single can be shamed into toxic relationships, the old "that's why you don't have a man" or "why you can't keep a man" or " you're going to be a cat Lady and alone". The list goes on, society needs to accept some women find it more fulfilling and peaceful being single and enjoy her life on her own terms. Women that chooses to remain single should have as much support as women who wants to be married. Truth is many women live in "shame" because they don't want what society say women should want. As long as women are happy, it makes for a healthy feminine woman.
So true. This type of misogynistic taunting is what led all of my beautiful auntie's into marrying bums, drunks, and abusers; just to prove a "man" wanted them 😔. Sad part is most of the pressure, to find ANY man, came from church folk.
@@lisab3165 Never listen to folks who doesn't know they're in a cult called religion, they don't even have a mind of their own and need rules on how to be a decent human being. There's no way I'll take advice from people who can't live without advice from a pastor on how to be decent.
Powerful video. I honestly wish someone would have taught me this as an adolescent. My great grandmother, grandmother, mom, and myself have struggled through the curse of abuse and low self esteem. I pray that I can end the curse with my daughters.
I hear you love. Raising children when you are healing has got to be one of the hardest things to do in life. We need to allow ourselves to heal. I think many of us are afraid to heal because we don't know who we are without the trauma. We are such butterflies once we accept and release the trauma we have been through
You can also besides prayer get you and your daughters mindset recalculated.... avoid being around toxic family n frens ..careful who/what are you listening to each day who is depositing POSITIVE energy into your thoughts mindset surrounding .....you will do better bcos you now know better its a process dnt rush or beat up YOURSELF...
A black man was on a podcast last night upset because a woman HE asked out and told to pick the restaurant picked a restaurant that was a bit pricey. He was complaining about a $240 bill and said that she was wrong to do that. First of all, $240 for a first date is not that much money unless you're really broke. Secondly, he told her to pick the restaurant! How is SHE wrong? She obviously knew her worth and to me, HE showed himself unworthy of her. No one pushed back on him either, not even the woman on the panel. I sure wish I was on there, lol
TheVerbalAssassin for some, it’s pricey but..if he couldn’t afford it, he should’ve spared himself the trouble 🤷🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤣. He could’ve suggested other places but if she didn’t approve then he needed to keep it pushing...simple. No one forced him
He shouldnt have asked her out in the 1st place,when you go on a date with a woman I feel like you should have an open check mindset,meaning you should have the mind that whatever bill you get you are ready to pay for,except you pick the place specifically to be cheap,$240 is not too much
Bullshit. I am a bw and that is crap. 240 is a ton of money. A responsible and smart woman would care more for a man's financial growth than a nice dinner.
BrownGirlrep - It’s not a woman’s responsibility to worry about a man’s pocket especially on the first date. If his pockets had a limit HE should have been SMART and do the RESPONSIBLE thing by choosing the restaurant. Bet his butt won’t make that mistake again.
Seeing a therapist was the best decision in my life! I gained self confidence and a better self esteem. I worked out my childhood trauma. My boundaries were always violated and I was told I was not good enough for nothing. And I saw this patterns also in my dating life. It was really exhausting. I had depression and generalized anxiety disorder. I was so messed up. But going to Therapy showed me, that I am a valuable person who deserve the best in life. Now I can make healthy choices in every area in my life! So ladies don't give up! You deserve the best. Never forget that ♥️
I feel the same way... Seeking counsel through therapy helped me to figure out so many nuances in my familial programming... Helped me uproot a tremendous amount destructive patterns and behaviors!
Thank you so much Chloe_! So many women are jumping into the bed with men to get validated. Sex is expected and that is why these guys think everyone will do it. NO! I know my value!
Great you mentioned the fact that many bw equate obtaining a degree/degrees/PHDs & what not to the ultimate success & boost their self esteem. Like this is it in life, they’ve made it & anyone who hasn’t accomplished the same isn’t even on their “level” including men that may be interested in them, friends even family members🤷🏽♀️. They look/talk down @ people but certain aspects in their lives are a mess or they have a shitty personality
Ciaobella Amour, Spot on. You just described 2 of my family members to a tee! I've said this exact thing but dare not say it out loud. I'd be accused of hating and some more!!
Kay Kay yup, I’m kinda dealing with this so I’ve just become much more quiet,barely engage in their convos but listen real closely & pay close attention. But yeah, dare I call certain things out or have a mind of my own, I’m looked @ as if I have 3 heads, try to force me to agreeing with them 🤦🏽♀️ like wtf lol or tried to made feel belittled or unwelcomed.
Perfect video to compliment my keto breakfast! Thank you Chloe your videos have helped me so much !! You are a GEM in the Black women community. Because of you I have been getting my mind right , losing weight , began getting my hair done again, got my nails done. I am getting the old me back. THANK YOU SO MUCH !
I love the hypergamy movement. Currently I am separated but prior to getting married I can remember times Where I did not settle for the b.s. and carried myself in a very feminine way ( probably how I attracted my husband). Long story short, I have decided not to take my husband back after the infidelity, and I have raised the bar for myself. I appreciate this channel but I would like to ask if we could speak to each other in an uplifting way instead of condescending.
Thanks Chloe. I appreciate what you do. I feel really late to the game being in my 30s and I try not to be sad about it lol. But I missed a lot of these lessons in life and they would’ve saved me a lot of headache smh. But better late than never ✊🏾
I have the “package” but it’s seems that men around me are not interested because I want too much. I’m 26, no children and it seems like men look at me as if something is wrong with me if no man has wanted to make me a mother. I just don’t want kids until I’m married. I get treated like I’m naive for expecting marriage.
Honey you need to level up your social circle of men hang around high quality men, like I wrote before if your target is only black men the thing with that is that usually black men with money date out it looks like as sad as it sounds BM only wants to date BW when they are broke they expect BW to hold them down but if they had money most BM would not even look at BW
The other girl in the comment section is right if u have no kids mid 20s and fine and feminine men of other races won’t stop trying to lock u down. I’m 25 with a daughter and I attract CEOs and entrepreneurs Mexican white European Indian. You may not want to date out but you gotta go where u are celebrated honey
Unfortunately I work in an area where it’s all black men. I’m a loctician. I’m a little stumped on where to go to date out. I do attract a variety of men, I just need to level up more
Thank you Chloe for reminding me that accomplishments are different from self worth. I often confuse these two because of the way I was raised (I was raised with very high expectations); so whenever things aren't straight with my career or education I feel like I'm worthless. But after listening to this, I won't anymore.
Wow! This has been me for 15+ years😳...sticking around because of his potential instead of what I could see at that moment for fear of being single or requiring more of a guy would maybe make him leave. I've been working on myself since 2017 and I'm getting better & stronger daily, I'm demanding more & excepting less BS from a man. I'm almost at a place where if being single is what I have to be to get respect & peace then so be it! I've noticed that when I've been single, I slept better at night and I'm more at peace🙌😁.
This info is so freeing. I'm so glad to be getting this while I'm young (with no ties). You are so fierce in your delivery, but your message is so perfect and right on time.
I Love your channel Chloe! I am the hypergamist wife who happily takes my place as the contributor not the head. I am very well taken care of by my husband and it shows. My coworkers hate me for it. I speak about my position as a woman/wife and many despise my ability to meet suitable men. I have been on the hypergamy path for decades and completely understand and agree with the words you speak. Now in my early forties, I'm pretty much "established" compared to most 30s 40s 50s females who can't understand how. These are the bitter broken & envious women. Oftentimes, I'm not the subject of your conversations but listen daily and share your videos with my daughters & friends. I make sure if anything in my marriage goes wrong, I have established financial security by opening business with my husband. I manage all the books and take care of my home and my husband. You remind me of myself and you voice exactly what I talk about with Black Women daily. Great Job! Keep Teaching ♥
As always... Tru Gems... I literally listen to you EVERYDAY!!!! Even tho I’ve listened to almost everything you’ve posted. Thank you my dear. I’m 41, divorced, mother of a beautiful teenager and I’m absolutely falling in love with me through your words. I honestly appreciate your work. I speak to my daughter often about loving herself and being the best version of herself. Thanks again Chloe_❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💕💕💕💕🔥🔥🔥😁😁😁😊😊😊😊
I gotta give it to you Chloe. When I first started watching your videos, the content really threw me for a loop cuz I had never heard of this before and I did feel triggered by some of it and you seemed to have a harsh way of delivering your message but based on informative videos like this I really feel that you deliver your messages with tough love. Like a lot of us, you are really tired of seeing black women settle for less than what they deserve and your doing your part to wake up those that need it. Although I don’t agree with all of it, I have definitely learned a lot and appreciate your input.
Women also believe that being a help mate is going 50/50 with bills. That's not being a help mate, that's signing up be a mule and struggling. No thanks.
The devil is lie I'm not doin know 50/50 wit no man. I rather be single for the rest of my life!!! You will never get ahead and enjoy married life with 50/50 man. Money will always be issue in marriage like that.
My momma used to tell me don't show a man how to treat you tell him and then show how you won't accept anything less. I didn't really start getting it until now. Love the messages keep it up sis.
Honestly, it hurts me to hear how women have been brainwashed thoroughly. I know this from seeing how grateful they act when dusties do the bare minimum.
I need some advice: I have a friend who I believe is dating a dusty. I want to tell her she needs to higher her standards but I also don’t want her to feel like I’m being judgmental. Here are the red flags I’ve noticed. 1. When she first told me about him she gave me the impression that it was a platonic friendship. She told me he asked if he could live with her until he get his own place and that he’ll be sleeping on the couch. AT FIRST I didn’t think anything of it because again I was under the impression that the friendship was platonic and the situation was temporary. 2. One day she had to get surgery and I had texted her wishing her a safe surgery and fast recovery. HE REPLIED sending me a picture of himself. I felt like it was very inappropriate for him to respond to me when he doesn’t know me. Then once I realized he had her phone I stopped texting him and he continued to text me from her phone. 3. We went on a double date and he constantly kept insulting me. Constantly cracking jokes I told her about how it made me uncomfortable and all she said was “he tends to play too much” 4. He drives her car 5. He shacked up with her I believe that he does the bare minimum to be able to live with her and to continue to drive her car. Do I say something to her or do I allow her to learn on her own?
That's so hard, we can be so defensive when it comes to men. She'll either ask "since you know so much where is your man", or if you do have a high quality man she'll resent you because she doesn't believe she can get that kind of man so she's not going to leave this man she's with to avoid being alone. *sigh* I lost my best friend of several years behind this and she's not even married to the guy anymore, but hasn't spoken to me in 4 years. I truly wish her the best. Maybe approach this delicately, and say "girl can I talk to you about something? I really care about you and I feel such and such is not a good match for you because..." when you guys are alone of course in person not over the phone where he can hear the conversation or read the text.
Sex, masculine energy, & relationships are so powerful it will have us out of our minds, living a completely different life! AND MEN KNOW THIS & USE THAT POWER TO THEIR BENEFIT! & Only an EVIL person would take advantage of another person! Warn your friend of the danger she is in because that man is going to fuck her life up if she doesnt GET OUT now!!
I would mind my business and us all the energy I had to worry about her to level up something in my own life...your friend is happy to be a dust bunny!!!
I’m trying to teach women twice my age these things but their rebuttal is “what about if he falls on hard times is wouldn’t you try to help then”. I explain, “yes I would but only if he’s in a bad situation after he was a good provider for years to me. And I’ll always have my own money because Ik times like this happen if he bounces back good, but if he’s not trying he’s gonna know I’m not bobisha builder so I’m not gonna allow him to be mediocre but he has got to want to get back up himself. I’m Not going to coax him like mother coaxes her child to walk. AMBITION is key in these men to beable to bounce back”
I continue to learn so much from you. Just because a woman is accomplished doesn't mean she's secure in herself. I would see women in high positions gossiping about other people and I would ask myself why do they feel the need to do that? No accomplishment and no compliment can cover up the gaping hole within if we do not address it. We must be willing to face ourselves, to know and understand that we are not defined by the external image that we project or any accomplishment. We are defined by how we see our selves, think about ourselves and what we think we deserve. That is the beauty of life, you learn and at any moment you can shed that which no longer serves you and pick up that which does. This is why I'm such a big fan of affirmations, they help reprogram the mind and so does this channel. Never settle and work on yourself! Thank you always ♡
Chloe can you do a video on 40 Year old "man" still broke & trying to live the street drug life & hang around " his buddies" who really are not their friends.
We simply settle for less because we give up! Being lied to by the man you love in the beginning causes us to fall in love with these men, only to be left with "left overs." So we give up because we don't want to start over. Hence, we settle. Settling definitely hurts!
I really get valuable insight from your vids and knowledge. Things I have been trying to fix for yrs. with excerisise, New job, New this, New that. But kept having the same issue. since Sept 2018 I began my journey of self love and acceptance. It was really important for me to be accountable in this process to end toxic behavior. I saw my patterns and as I was near breaking things off. I felt an urge to play victim, but I resisted and now I feel I'm be in aligned with proper thinking and behaviors. Thank you for being awesome and the informations is pure and align w my beliefs. Ijs I'm glad I came across your page or I would be still conducting experiments lol!
I’ve learned that the truth I’m not ready to hear usually feels like an attack, but it’s actually meant to bring about healing. Chloe is passionate about women but more specifically BW leveling up. Please don’t take offense, just do the work. It’s a tough pill to swallow, when many of us know majority of many BM aren’t leveling up. So many are either gay, hobosexual, hurt and not seeking healing, or unaware of the value of their masculine ability to be a provider.. It’s disheartening but irregardless of the lack of capable partners, we still have an obligation to heal. These words come from a place of love.❤️
Much of this stems from childhood. As a child my mom raised me to take care of my brothers who were helpless without her or I. I took that with me into adulthood and sought men who needed a caregiver. Changing the paradigm in my 40’s thanks to channels like this
I like how you use a photo of a woman who looks tired and broken as the main photo for this video. Helps get the point across. I’ve been feeling tired and broken for a long time. And I’m only a 28 year old girl. And I have a good heart. I don’t deserve to feel like this. I love you Chloe 💜 you’re a beautiful woman. I met a successful lawyer btw, hope it works out.
“Addiction to Being Victims.” Very well stated 👌🏻 I think I heard you mentioning something about wanting to hold onto self-righteousness too. Pretty sure this is tying in with taking pride in the struggle mindset. I’ve decided to stop talking about my old life and previous struggles. I’ve learned and don’t want to look back. I sure don’t want to reattract it by glorifying it. Your videos are conducive to my self reflection ❤️
That’s why I hate being apart of a very religious Christian family - we were told our worth is solely based in God and that we are low and disgusting creatures our whole lives. So when I denounced that life, I made so many bad choices because I felt that no one would ever love me especially because my own family didn’t, so it wouldn’t matter how bad I was. Thankfully I realize that I’m not the only one who has struggles and I can heal, even if I never find a solid partner at least I will be happy with myself ❤️
Gawd this woman just speaks to my soul on a different level. Everything being said I know is me and I was lead here because of my current situation. Thank you really, hopefully I can gain the confidence to walk away.
It’s a blessing that my first child from my abusive marriage was a boy. I was not ready for a baby girl. Hypergamy has only entered my life in my mid 30’s and I am committed to it...this mindset has already pushed away some deeply deceptive men. When I am blessed with a king and should I have a daughter, I most certainly will pass down the hypergamous mindset
We women have to be strong because there are not many men that will hold their own weight. As far as settling: It's just a self hatred/ low self-esteem issue. It's better to be without a bum than held back by one. 🤔
Another great topic. I think it comes from a scarcity mindset instead of effectively planning, working on yourself and dating with a purpose. Its just like everything else in your life if you set a goal determine your objectives (your why) and map out how you want to achieve your goal and put your plan into action and most of all DON’T WAIVER until you achieve your goal you will be successful. Also i think what is missing is the inner self work that must be done to strengthen your mindset and increase your appraisal of yourself and you cant be afraid to be single while you are working on yourself. People oftentimes mistake single for being lonely. Dating is no different. You have to date with a CLEAR purpose and a plan. In regards to Chloe’s analogy about professional/education success being mistaken as self esteem is accurate. We see it everyday with women and men. They can have $1 million in the bank, spent $100 of thousands on material possessions and education but have a $2 mindset and opinion of themselves and the people they choose to entertain. I use this analogy all the time which is the weight-loss surgery people use to lose weight. If you have not lap banded your mind you will return to old habits and regain the weight. Love your content. That picture of Taraji always has me crying.
low self worth and low self esteem is prevalent in women that were rejected by their fathers or have had no masculine figure in their upbringing they have an obnormal desire to just be in a relationship nomatter what
Chloe fan who’s a man here ... keep teaching and preaching truth Chloe. Excellent resource for developing yourself and self worth, a book entitled, The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman. The book cites Beyoncé as an example of a person who used her alter ego - Sasha Fierce - to maximize her potential. And the book walks through how we can all develop our own hero alter ego to achieve what we want.
I don't know why i call my mother mother or family family. They will just push you onto men that just don't cut it because in their eyes it's getting "late". Gosh!. I am not desperate. I want what i deserve and what i deserve is goodness. I'd rather die looking for it then to be as miserable and lost as them.
My sister at 40 y.o. and has always conducted her life and made decisions from a low self esteem, low vibration mindset. When you talk to her about coming up higher she makes excuses and talks like picking better quality men is a bad thing. The brainwashing began with our mother who raised both of us. She makes excuses for all my sister's shortcomings and blames everybody else that's came in her life as the reason. Her and my mother are alcoholics and extremely narcissistic. They're extremely critical of others and hate that I demand the best from the people i pick to be around me, and loved and respected by others.
Another excellent video Chole, you can make this a 10 part series and never run out of content. For me, it's simply that I was never taught about self esteem and my worth as it relates to men. I was taught to get an education, work hard so that I can take care of myself. Now I'm mid 50s, 6 figure income, own my home, drive no kids, have savings etc, and divorced twice (married the same dusty twice, just different names, and height). Long story short I haven't been on a date in 7 years because I just gave up after being hurt. I learned the hard way ladies. My family is the same as me, so I had no guidance..I'm not giving up though. Young ladies listen to Chole, don't waste your youth and your pretty on dusties. Get your self together and I learn your worth.
im so sorry for what you've been through. fuck this world
MyCrownstar Wow. This resonated with me. Avoiding dusties at all cost now. Been there done that.
Very well said...I just turned 50 y.o. I've been single for 15 years. I've had two long term sex partners at the same time for about 19 years. Neither man stepped up to the plate and for a short period of time I thought it was me. Then I realized these men, although nice guys towards me most of the time, they were in between dusties and quality men. They kept jobs but nothing rarely came my way. No real date, no gifts, no nice gestures. I told myself I'll except this behavior just to keep allies near me because they checked in on me daily. As life took a turn and they couldn't so anything but say I'm sorry to hear that but can we still have sex. As life turned back up my eyes began to open and I became for confident without them weening myself away like drug. I'm now free of them from my body, no need to talk and share with them my personal business and never ask them for anything. They both also admitted they don't have the tools to be that man I deserve. And they're both right. My love and womanhood is so high and the man on my frequency is special and extremely hard to find.
I'm 32 but I feel so old..do I still have time to turn things around? I want a family/husband but I know my Biological clock is ticking.
@soul sessions tv Bdhrh Your right! Thank you💜
Highly educated and low self worth, needs to be a whole video in itself.
Yessss...I know a few highly educated and the most hardworking self motivated, achieved women, but yet their choice in men is awful.
Okay!?
💯🏆
@@basicinfo2022 Exactly this! An entire series of videos can be made from this one comment
YESSS!! 👏🏾
She said: "Many women are afraid of success, because with success comes attacks". Boom!
And this is very true!!!!!
Ronnie Patton yooooo. Some of My own family members sound bitter as F due to me recent accomplishments. That shit hurts to the core
April Love I’m so sorry you had to go through that especially with blood. Keep your head up and I hope you have found other outside support who are positive and happy for you for trying to improve your life
@@aprillove10 get away from them...You owe them nothing, including mama...You do not have to have contact with anyone who is not for you.
@@aprillove10 With all that going on, you might be dealing with relatives with personality disorders. Keep your distance!
I’m here for it! Potential is a no go! Either it is or it ain’t. 💯🤷🏽♀️
Right🤦♀️
Agreed. I fell for the “potential” in my early 20s. Married him too. Only lasted 2 years because I woke up and realized he never respected nor loved me and he didnt even love himself. To this day at 47 years old hes still living in his father’s basement with heart problems. Karma.
Tn Girl54
Be honest, not every woman is not going to get the man of her dreams, just like every man is not going to get his Beyoncé. Let’s be realistic.
And if your response to that is...
“then I will just be single“
then you are letting Chloe lead you to a life of misery, loneliness, and unfulfilled motherhood (Unless you’re willing to all the single mom route like so many others)
Don Dabingo so are you saying that men “settle”?
@@NotoriousN_I_G_ wow
I can’t tell you how good therapy has been. I was that hurt little girl in a 28 year old woman’s body. But healing those issues with my mom has been amazing. Seek it ladies, & God. It’s sad that therapy is so stigmatized in the black community
A J yeah ur absolutely right. Prayer is great! But so is talking to a professional that’s not directly involved or related is good too
I love this definition of worth! YES! What I always say is it’s not the accolades or accomplishments, it’s the acts of working on self and building value so you won’t accept anything less! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Never settle there’s always someone out there that knows your worth ladies 💎
But your worth has to be 1st identified by you
Denise Yearwood ur right same energy has to be reciprocated
Jaime Smith thanks bby
Thank you
I don't know why I never have a channel like this when I was in high school.
The teacher comes when the student is ready
Tineisha Jarrett Chile ughhh
Petit Piment glacé that is so true!! When I was young, I heard some of these concepts before, but I couldn’t hear it because I was so busy trying not to be a gold digger or ask for too much. So, of course, I ended up with a master’s degrees, a great paying job, and a dusty that’s could not (or wouldn’t) keep a job!!!
I was just talking about this recently,, I’ve seen lazy, no ambition having women with men who treat them like gold. They only care about their looks and what they want and men flock to them. And I’m over here independent, getting promotions, and raises, in school to get certified and single as a Kraft cheese slice😒
Because men dont look at those things. Dont get me wrong most want a woman that they can connect with, converse with, has a skill, but they are driven by looks initially. So invest in that heavily! As shallow as it is, men are biologically wired like this, no amount of feminism is going to change them as a whole. *hugs*
@@bd3966 true. i love my smartness and all that but i love my looks just as much. there is nothing wrong with a woman investing in her looks just as much as she invests in other things
A shame we have got to water down ourselves because men are so insecure & are not go getters
Jay2x's Spot on. When educated women put that same energy into dating, the tables will turn. Think of it as a course, study it daily; pass the exam and reap the benefit.
Sorry to tell you this...men don't care about all of the things you mentioned you have over the "pretty, lazy" women. Since literally the beginning of time men have been interested in looks and the way a woman puts energy and effort in keeping herself up. So, to you she seems lazy... to a man she's simply focused that same energy and ambition in a more feminine direction.
I have always dated men of means, I'm currently engaged to one, but I have not even finished my Bachelor's (although I do work in HR making more than people with Master's degrees). I have asked the men over the years because I, myself was curious (since I also bought into the narrative when I was younger that men want highly accomplished women). What they ALL said (in different ways) was that other things were higher on their list of priorities when looking for a woman. The accolades were more at the bottom for them, and even then based on how the woman made them *FEEL* inside emotionally, they were willing to ditch it altogether. They also said professional accomplishments and degree did not guarantee true intelligence and class in a woman as well (some of the examples they gave of their exes were both sad and funny) . Intelligence and class was also high up on their priority list.
"dumpster diving" is very easy and usual. there are so many women married to men they don't respect because the men are beneath them and they know it, but the idea of being married and not being alone is more important to them.
A. Word.
This reminds me of the movie "Acrimony" by Tyler Perry
@@didibjones absolutely.
This is true!
Ive seen so many women in my family settle just so they could claim to have a man
Chloe is spot on that many ppls parents don’t teach them self worth from a young age (which is where it starts) bc they don’t have it themselves and you can’t teach your kids something you don’t even have, hence the generational curse. So most ppl have not the slightest clue on how to level up and change, but we live in a different time where knowledge is shared through the internet. Our parents didn’t have the resources we have today so there is no longer any sort of “excuse” to stay in victim mentality. It wasn’t your fault your mom didn’t teach you these skills but look at you now, here you are learning from Chloe so now you can do better! You have to want it and understand the transformation doesn’t happen overnight, unlearning toxic past behaviors and developing new ones is a lot of hard work and a very painful process but the reward is unmatched!!! You can do it, you deserve to have what every other hypergamous woman has!
WELL SAID!!!
Elle D I mean it generally which involves the entire package of the relationship you have with them, the way they make you feel, by words, by actions, treatment...etc . I’m not specifically referring to just telling you, I mean the entire relationship in totality teaches you your self worth from a young age.
🙌🏾
Thank you for the encouragement!
The guy with the black hoodie and Ace card who represents tricksters get me every time.
What you said about black women and college degrees is 💯% correct. Your degrees do not equal to self-esteem and self-love.
Amen
Yes! I'm so here for this girl. I saw a beautiful woman who could have easily passed for a model dumpster diving (I mean climbing in an actual dumpster behind a grocery store to get food) while her "man" sat on the curb waiting for her to bring the food to him. I couldn't believe it! Why didn't anyone teach her about value!
Sultana Hazuri she’s been brainwashed. Very sad. Her beauty could have gotten her a provider man.
Damn 🤦🏽♀️
I wish more women know that they are valuable. Women, teach your daughters about value so that they can avoid dating losers and find someone who can take care of them and not use them up.
Sunshine Smile My own mother has always been jealous of me and tried to destroy me. She’s an evil bitter envious narcissistic sociopath. Tried to destroy her own daughter’s life. And I’ve met very few women who were actually kind to me.
Narcissistic mothers view their female children as competition and enemies that need to be taken down. It’s very sick.
Thanks for the message. The apt complex I live, I'm the only person whose single. However I see what my neighbors go through. Yelling, screaming, cheating. The men don't work. Been there done that years ago. So at peace knowing I'm not sleeping next to headache every night just to say I have a man!
As long as you don't entertain them that's on them. I bet they're jealous of you too.
@@DarkAries76 idk. I work and have my son in activities. We travel and always doing something fun. My so called BFF at work who married a dusty and she attend church weekly can't understand why I have peace and she doesn't. Began calling me names, fat a** and now said I'm the ugliest girl at the office.
@@lavonnealexander6936 thank you
The title alone on this early, Sunday morning 🤣🤦🏽♀️😹. Chloe never disappoints & knows how to jumpstart the day
👁🏃♂️
Ciaobella Amour you married?
M M 💕♥️🤣
eric archer are you?🙄....here come the typical/tired assumptions 💅🏽
@@Empiredigits hey sweetheart i have potential
Women who are single can be shamed into toxic relationships, the old "that's why you don't have a man" or "why you can't keep a man" or " you're going to be a cat Lady and alone". The list goes on, society needs to accept some women find it more fulfilling and peaceful being single and enjoy her life on her own terms. Women that chooses to remain single should have as much support as women who wants to be married. Truth is many women live in "shame" because they don't want what society say women should want. As long as women are happy, it makes for a healthy feminine woman.
PERIOD
So true. This type of misogynistic taunting is what led all of my beautiful auntie's into marrying bums, drunks, and abusers; just to prove a "man" wanted them 😔. Sad part is most of the pressure, to find ANY man, came from church folk.
@@lisab3165 Never listen to folks who doesn't know they're in a cult called religion, they don't even have a mind of their own and need rules on how to be a decent human being. There's no way I'll take advice from people who can't live without advice from a pastor on how to be decent.
@@ShaysWorld12 lawd that is a Word right there , so true 💯
“A lot of women use broken men as a hiding place”! Chloe Chloe Chloe 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 thank you for the awakening of us all 💗💗
Powerful video. I honestly wish someone would have taught me this as an adolescent. My great grandmother, grandmother, mom, and myself have struggled through the curse of abuse and low self esteem. I pray that I can end the curse with my daughters.
No problem sis
Dont just pray, DO SOMETHING ❤❤❤ its gonna effect so many more young Black daughters then just yours when you do!!
Please do sis. Blessings to you and Happy Sunday ♥️💖
I hear you love. Raising children when you are healing has got to be one of the hardest things to do in life. We need to allow ourselves to heal. I think many of us are afraid to heal because we don't know who we are without the trauma. We are such butterflies once we accept and release the trauma we have been through
You can also besides prayer get you and your daughters mindset recalculated.... avoid being around toxic family n frens ..careful who/what are you listening to each day who is depositing POSITIVE energy into your thoughts mindset surrounding .....you will do better bcos you now know better its a process dnt rush or beat up YOURSELF...
A black man was on a podcast last night upset because a woman HE asked out and told to pick the restaurant picked a restaurant that was a bit pricey. He was complaining about a $240 bill and said that she was wrong to do that. First of all, $240 for a first date is not that much money unless you're really broke. Secondly, he told her to pick the restaurant! How is SHE wrong? She obviously knew her worth and to me, HE showed himself unworthy of her. No one pushed back on him either, not even the woman on the panel. I sure wish I was on there, lol
TheVerbalAssassin for some, it’s pricey but..if he couldn’t afford it, he should’ve spared himself the trouble 🤷🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤣. He could’ve suggested other places but if she didn’t approve then he needed to keep it pushing...simple. No one forced him
He shouldnt have asked her out in the 1st place,when you go on a date with a woman I feel like you should have an open check mindset,meaning you should have the mind that whatever bill you get you are ready to pay for,except you pick the place specifically to be cheap,$240 is not too much
Bullshit. I am a bw and that is crap. 240 is a ton of money. A responsible and smart woman would care more for a man's financial growth than a nice dinner.
BrownGirlrep - It’s not a woman’s responsibility to worry about a man’s pocket especially on the first date. If his pockets had a limit HE should have been SMART and do the RESPONSIBLE thing by choosing the restaurant. Bet his butt won’t make that mistake again.
aaydrian right
Seeing a therapist was the best decision in my life! I gained self confidence and a better self esteem. I worked out my childhood trauma. My boundaries were always violated and I was told I was not good enough for nothing. And I saw this patterns also in my dating life. It was really exhausting. I had depression and generalized anxiety disorder. I was so messed up. But going to Therapy showed me, that I am a valuable person who deserve the best in life. Now I can make healthy choices in every area in my life!
So ladies don't give up! You deserve the best. Never forget that ♥️
I feel the same way... Seeking counsel through therapy helped me to figure out so many nuances in my familial programming... Helped me uproot a tremendous amount destructive patterns and behaviors!
@@akuasalaam490 that's so good to hear! ♥️ I'm happy for you ♥️
@@nadine1018 Thank You... Truly therapy and doing the necessary internal work has changed my life and how I live it!!!! #Grateful
Thank you so much Chloe_! So many women are jumping into the bed with men to get validated. Sex is expected and that is why these guys think everyone will do it. NO! I know my value!
blame feminism for that one
Great video Chloe! I’d rather be single and at peace than with a man who only has potential 🙌🏾
Yes ma'am💯
janschild say that again
Amen👌🏽
Great you mentioned the fact that many bw equate obtaining a degree/degrees/PHDs & what not to the ultimate success & boost their self esteem. Like this is it in life, they’ve made it & anyone who hasn’t accomplished the same isn’t even on their “level” including men that may be interested in them, friends even family members🤷🏽♀️. They look/talk down @ people but certain aspects in their lives are a mess or they have a shitty personality
Ciaobella Amour, Spot on. You just described 2 of my family members to a tee! I've said this exact thing but dare not say it out loud. I'd be accused of hating and some more!!
Kay Kay yup, I’m kinda dealing with this so I’ve just become much more quiet,barely engage in their convos but listen real closely & pay close attention. But yeah, dare I call certain things out or have a mind of my own, I’m looked @ as if I have 3 heads, try to force me to agreeing with them 🤦🏽♀️ like wtf lol or tried to made feel belittled or unwelcomed.
tag line omg yes🤦🏽♀️
Yvonne oliea,yvonne why are you mentioning whites tho🤷🏽♀️🙄
@@CiaobellaAmour Oh, I'm hip. Trust! It's a shame and fr fr their self esteem is terrible!
Perfect video to compliment my keto breakfast! Thank you Chloe your videos have helped me so much !! You are a GEM in the Black women community. Because of you I have been getting my mind right , losing weight , began getting my hair done again, got my nails done. I am getting the old me back. THANK YOU SO MUCH !
Comments like yours are why I do what I do.💕💕💕
The inexperience with men. Spot on.
“Heal the broken little girl inside of you”
💕✨
Choosing a life partner and someone to MAKE HUMANS WITH is a life skill.
The unhealthy cycle stops with me.
“Dumpster diving..” 😂
I thought that was something else too LOL so mean🤣😭👁
I love the hypergamy movement. Currently I am separated but prior to getting married I can remember times Where I did not settle for the b.s. and carried myself in a very feminine way ( probably how I attracted my husband). Long story short, I have decided not to take my husband back after the infidelity, and I have raised the bar for myself. I appreciate this channel but I would like to ask if we could speak to each other in an uplifting way instead of condescending.
Aw, hugs to you sis!
Thanks Chloe. I appreciate what you do. I feel really late to the game being in my 30s and I try not to be sad about it lol. But I missed a lot of these lessons in life and they would’ve saved me a lot of headache smh. But better late than never ✊🏾
Your not alone ... I’m 37
@@priscillapie I'm the same age. I basically didn't have parents. Sometimes I get down thinking it's too late for me.
Same here..I'll be 32 next month
Right before i turned 29 i came across your video's i wish i would have learned it sooner
“Women are not aware of the mind tricks men play”, Good One 👍🏽
j lying because Wemen are the Master at having multiple partners
“Stuckness or addiction to being victims” girl.....that right there.
“Why women try to turn relationship crumbs into a whole meal.”😂😂😂
You’d be surprised lol 😂
I have the “package” but it’s seems that men around me are not interested because I want too much. I’m 26, no children and it seems like men look at me as if something is wrong with me if no man has wanted to make me a mother. I just don’t want kids until I’m married. I get treated like I’m naive for expecting marriage.
Honey you need to level up your social circle of men hang around high quality men, like I wrote before if your target is only black men the thing with that is that usually black men with money date out it looks like as sad as it sounds BM only wants to date BW when they are broke they expect BW to hold them down but if they had money most BM would not even look at BW
The other girl in the comment section is right if u have no kids mid 20s and fine and feminine men of other races won’t stop trying to lock u down. I’m 25 with a daughter and I attract CEOs and entrepreneurs Mexican white European Indian. You may not want to date out but you gotta go where u are celebrated honey
Unfortunately I work in an area where it’s all black men. I’m a loctician. I’m a little stumped on where to go to date out. I do attract a variety of men, I just need to level up more
Hang around the right places
You are right, don't settle.marriage before babies girl.
Put yourself first for that Creates miracles. Love it Chloe!!!
Thank you Chloe for reminding me that accomplishments are different from self worth. I often confuse these two because of the way I was raised (I was raised with very high expectations); so whenever things aren't straight with my career or education I feel like I'm worthless. But after listening to this, I won't anymore.
Keep listening. And if it doesn’t apply let it fly.💕
Wow! This has been me for 15+ years😳...sticking around because of his potential instead of what I could see at that moment for fear of being single or requiring more of a guy would maybe make him leave. I've been working on myself since 2017 and I'm getting better & stronger daily, I'm demanding more & excepting less BS from a man. I'm almost at a place where if being single is what I have to be to get respect & peace then so be it! I've noticed that when I've been single, I slept better at night and I'm more at peace🙌😁.
"ladies...and lurkers who are listening" LMBO!
google user she seems angry
All of those reasons you mentioned about settling are absolutely true! It's either those or we settle for being alone...yikes!!
This info is so freeing. I'm so glad to be getting this while I'm young (with no ties). You are so fierce in your delivery, but your message is so perfect and right on time.
Dragoness Nat Amen
I Love your channel Chloe! I am the hypergamist wife who happily takes my place as the contributor not the head. I am very well taken care of by my husband and it shows. My coworkers hate me for it. I speak about my position as a woman/wife and many despise my ability to meet suitable men. I have been on the hypergamy path for decades and completely understand and agree with the words you speak.
Now in my early forties, I'm pretty much "established" compared to most 30s 40s 50s females who can't understand how. These are the bitter broken & envious women. Oftentimes, I'm not the subject of your conversations but listen daily and share your videos with my daughters & friends. I make sure if anything in my marriage goes wrong, I have established financial security by opening business with my husband. I manage all the books and take care of my home and my husband. You remind me of myself and you voice exactly what I talk about with Black Women daily. Great Job! Keep Teaching ♥
As always... Tru Gems... I literally listen to you EVERYDAY!!!! Even tho I’ve listened to almost everything you’ve posted. Thank you my dear.
I’m 41, divorced, mother of a beautiful teenager and I’m absolutely falling in love with me through your words. I honestly appreciate your work. I speak to my daughter often about loving herself and being the best version of herself. Thanks again Chloe_❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💕💕💕💕🔥🔥🔥😁😁😁😊😊😊😊
this channel has dropped so many gems and made me understand so much. I thought I knew, but I can acknowledge those generational curses.
I gotta give it to you Chloe. When I first started watching your videos, the content really threw me for a loop cuz I had never heard of this before and I did feel triggered by some of it and you seemed to have a harsh way of delivering your message but based on informative videos like this I really feel that you deliver your messages with tough love. Like a lot of us, you are really tired of seeing black women settle for less than what they deserve and your doing your part to wake up those that need it. Although I don’t agree with all of it, I have definitely learned a lot and appreciate your input.
Women also believe that being a help mate is going 50/50 with bills. That's not being a help mate, that's signing up be a mule and struggling. No thanks.
Exactly right
The devil is lie I'm not doin know 50/50 wit no man. I rather be single for the rest of my life!!! You will never get ahead and enjoy married life with 50/50 man. Money will always be issue in marriage like that.
My momma used to tell me don't show a man how to treat you tell him and then show how you won't accept anything less. I didn't really start getting it until now. Love the messages keep it up sis.
Honestly, it hurts me to hear how women have been brainwashed thoroughly. I know this from seeing how grateful they act when dusties do the bare minimum.
'Dumpster Diving'. Wow. That's a hell of a toxic term that should get a lot of women's attention.
I need some advice: I have a friend who I believe is dating a dusty. I want to tell her she needs to higher her standards but I also don’t want her to feel like I’m being judgmental. Here are the red flags I’ve noticed.
1. When she first told me about him she gave me the impression that it was a platonic friendship. She told me he asked if he could live with her until he get his own place and that he’ll be sleeping on the couch. AT FIRST I didn’t think anything of it because again I was under the impression that the friendship was platonic and the situation was temporary.
2. One day she had to get surgery and I had texted her wishing her a safe surgery and fast recovery. HE REPLIED sending me a picture of himself. I felt like it was very inappropriate for him to respond to me when he doesn’t know me. Then once I realized he had her phone I stopped texting him and he continued to text me from her phone.
3. We went on a double date and he constantly kept insulting me. Constantly cracking jokes I told her about how it made me uncomfortable and all she said was “he tends to play too much”
4. He drives her car
5. He shacked up with her
I believe that he does the bare minimum to be able to live with her and to continue to drive her car. Do I say something to her or do I allow her to learn on her own?
That's so hard, we can be so defensive when it comes to men. She'll either ask "since you know so much where is your man", or if you do have a high quality man she'll resent you because she doesn't believe she can get that kind of man so she's not going to leave this man she's with to avoid being alone. *sigh* I lost my best friend of several years behind this and she's not even married to the guy anymore, but hasn't spoken to me in 4 years. I truly wish her the best.
Maybe approach this delicately, and say "girl can I talk to you about something? I really care about you and I feel such and such is not a good match for you because..." when you guys are alone of course in person not over the phone where he can hear the conversation or read the text.
Do both. Say something AND let her find out for herself.
Just let her sub to this channel :)
Sex, masculine energy, & relationships are so powerful it will have us out of our minds, living a completely different life! AND MEN KNOW THIS & USE THAT POWER TO THEIR BENEFIT! & Only an EVIL person would take advantage of another person! Warn your friend of the danger she is in because that man is going to fuck her life up if she doesnt GET OUT now!!
I would mind my business and us all the energy I had to worry about her to level up something in my own life...your friend is happy to be a dust bunny!!!
I’m trying to teach women twice my age these things but their rebuttal is “what about if he falls on hard times is wouldn’t you try to help then”. I explain, “yes I would but only if he’s in a bad situation after he was a good provider for years to me. And I’ll always have my own money because Ik times like this happen if he bounces back good, but if he’s not trying he’s gonna know I’m not bobisha builder so I’m not gonna allow him to be mediocre but he has got to want to get back up himself. I’m Not going to coax him like mother coaxes her child to walk. AMBITION is key in these men to beable to bounce back”
I continue to learn so much from you. Just because a woman is accomplished doesn't mean she's secure in herself. I would see women in high positions gossiping about other people and I would ask myself why do they feel the need to do that?
No accomplishment and no compliment can cover up the gaping hole within if we do not address it. We must be willing to face ourselves, to know and understand that we are not defined by the external image that we project or any accomplishment. We are defined by how we see our selves, think about ourselves and what we think we deserve.
That is the beauty of life, you learn and at any moment you can shed that which no longer serves you and pick up that which does. This is why I'm such a big fan of affirmations, they help reprogram the mind and so does this channel.
Never settle and work on yourself!
Thank you always ♡
Chloe can you do a video on 40 Year old "man" still broke & trying to live the street drug life & hang around " his buddies" who really are not their friends.
We simply settle for less because we give up! Being lied to by the man you love in the beginning causes us to fall in love with these men, only to be left with "left overs." So we give up because we don't want to start over. Hence, we settle. Settling definitely hurts!
@@Alyssaj1236 me too
I really get valuable insight from your vids and knowledge. Things I have been trying to fix for yrs. with excerisise, New job, New this, New that. But kept having the same issue. since Sept 2018 I began my journey of self love and acceptance. It was really important for me to be accountable in this process to end toxic behavior. I saw my patterns and as I was near breaking things off. I felt an urge to play victim, but I resisted and now I feel I'm be in aligned with proper thinking and behaviors. Thank you for being awesome and the informations is pure and align w my beliefs. Ijs I'm glad I came across your page or I would be still conducting experiments lol!
YW.💕
Chloe stay coming with the Sunday morning treats as I have my coffee ☕️ 🧁
Bena Lang yes girl. I love Sundays
♥️
I’ve learned that the truth I’m not ready to hear usually feels like an attack, but it’s actually meant to bring about healing. Chloe is passionate about women but more specifically BW leveling up. Please don’t take offense, just do the work. It’s a tough pill to swallow, when many of us know majority of many BM aren’t leveling up. So many are either gay, hobosexual, hurt and not seeking healing, or unaware of the value of their masculine ability to be a provider.. It’s disheartening but irregardless of the lack of capable partners, we still have an obligation to heal. These words come from a place of love.❤️
When you talked about a blunt and a big mac date I fell out !!!
MichaelMakeup 😂
Much of this stems from childhood. As a child my mom raised me to take care of my brothers who were helpless without her or I. I took that with me into adulthood and sought men who needed a caregiver. Changing the paradigm in my 40’s thanks to channels like this
I like how you use a photo of a woman who looks tired and broken as the main photo for this video. Helps get the point across. I’ve been feeling tired and broken for a long time. And I’m only a 28 year old girl. And I have a good heart. I don’t deserve to feel like this. I love you Chloe 💜 you’re a beautiful woman. I met a successful lawyer btw, hope it works out.
I love you too.
“Addiction to Being Victims.” Very well stated 👌🏻 I think I heard you mentioning something about wanting to hold onto self-righteousness too. Pretty sure this is tying in with taking pride in the struggle mindset. I’ve decided to stop talking about my old life and previous struggles. I’ve learned and don’t want to look back. I sure don’t want to reattract it by glorifying it. Your videos are conducive to my self reflection ❤️
That’s why I hate being apart of a very religious Christian family - we were told our worth is solely based in God and that we are low and disgusting creatures our whole lives. So when I denounced that life, I made so many bad choices because I felt that no one would ever love me especially because my own family didn’t, so it wouldn’t matter how bad I was. Thankfully I realize that I’m not the only one who has struggles and I can heal, even if I never find a solid partner at least I will be happy with myself ❤️
Gawd this woman just speaks to my soul on a different level. Everything being said I know is me and I was lead here because of my current situation. Thank you really, hopefully I can gain the confidence to walk away.
“A blunt” I almost thought I heard that wrong. Who is worth a blunt? 😂😂😂
Uani P you would be surprised how many people think like this.
O Love smh 🤦🏽♀️
It’s a blessing that my first child from my abusive marriage was a boy. I was not ready for a baby girl. Hypergamy has only entered my life in my mid 30’s and I am committed to it...this mindset has already pushed away some deeply deceptive men. When I am blessed with a king and should I have a daughter, I most certainly will pass down the hypergamous mindset
We women have to be strong because there are not many men that will hold their own weight. As far as settling: It's just a self hatred/ low self-esteem issue. It's better to be without a bum than held back by one. 🤔
SPEAK LIFE INTO YOUR SELF-WORTH!!!! Yassss...I felt that in my spirit!!!!
Currently walking at the park listening to her videos 😂
Another great topic. I think it comes from a scarcity mindset instead of effectively planning, working on yourself and dating with a purpose.
Its just like everything else in your life if you set a goal determine your objectives (your why) and map out how you want to achieve your goal and put your plan into action and most of all DON’T WAIVER until you achieve your goal you will be successful. Also i think what is missing is the inner self work that must be done to strengthen your mindset and increase your appraisal of yourself and you cant be afraid to be single while you are working on yourself. People oftentimes mistake single for being lonely. Dating is no different. You have to date with a CLEAR purpose and a plan.
In regards to Chloe’s analogy about professional/education success being mistaken as self esteem is accurate. We see it everyday with women and men. They can have $1 million in the bank, spent $100 of thousands on material possessions and education but have a $2 mindset and opinion of themselves and the people they choose to entertain. I use this analogy all the time which is the weight-loss surgery people use to lose weight. If you have not lap banded your mind you will return to old habits and regain the weight. Love your content. That picture of Taraji always has me crying.
Yes ! Focusing On Solutions..it’s all in your head. Put Yourself First and Feel free to hit them with a plot twist. EXECUTE.
Thank You Chloe.💕
i’m addicted to your channel. thank you for all these videos!!! 😇
Chloe, I SALUTE YOU! Your channel is much needed. It promotes HEALING. It's quite THERAPEUTIC to watch. Peace and Blessings!
❤️
I am so sick of settling for less and the more i upgrade the less men in the pool...leading to singlton in late 30s and 40s+
Chloe, this was right on time!
“With success comes being attacked “ I felt this with my entire being! 🙌🏾
All I can say is you are what you attract Ladies.
“Dumpster diving “damn lmaoooooo
This used to be me but Lord God I am so happy I woke up (after a really bad and toxic relationship cycle) and made changes whilst still in my 20’s.
Self worth is based on what you believe you deserve, Real worth is dictated by the marketplace.
The lady looking through the blinds is the funniest part 😂
Wow you described me. I am critical of others and myself. This is something I am working on during my feminine journey. Thank you for these videos.
low self worth and low self esteem is prevalent in women that were rejected by their fathers or have had no masculine figure in their upbringing they have an obnormal desire to just be in a relationship nomatter what
Thank u, Chloe. This was the scripture I needed this morning. 🙏🏾
Bless your life, bless your work, Chloe.
💕💕💕
GrandRising! Another truthful beacon of self-interest & self-awareness: full moon alchemy anyone? Time to manifest! BlessUP
One of the best channels on TH-cam ! Forreal
Chloe fan who’s a man here ... keep teaching and preaching truth Chloe. Excellent resource for developing yourself and self worth, a book entitled, The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman. The book cites Beyoncé as an example of a person who used her alter ego - Sasha Fierce - to maximize her potential. And the book walks through how we can all develop our own hero alter ego to achieve what we want.
I don't know why i call my mother mother or family family. They will just push you onto men that just don't cut it because in their eyes it's getting "late". Gosh!. I am not desperate. I want what i deserve and what i deserve is goodness. I'd rather die looking for it then to be as miserable and lost as them.
Reading these comments like yes ladies 🙌🏾
Chloe_ dropping knowledge on us again thank you for the video
PhD. women settling for GED men.
You said a word. Happy Sunday y’all!
I am learning this and introducing my mother to these concepts at the same time.
Hollering at the images lol 😆
When i listen to you im inspired. I wish so badly I had someone like you to listen to when I was young.
Well. You have me now...and all that matters is NOW.💕
@@TheNewFeminine thank you! ❤❤
Niki's new man's mugshots had me 💀💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣😭😭
I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAD THIS DUSTY MINDSET I NEED A WHOLE HYPERGAMUS MAKEOVER FOR ME & MY CHILDREN FUTURE
YES GURL!!!!! Say that!!! Sunday church!!
My sister at 40 y.o. and has always conducted her life and made decisions from a low self esteem, low vibration mindset. When you talk to her about coming up higher she makes excuses and talks like picking better quality men is a bad thing. The brainwashing began with our mother who raised both of us. She makes excuses for all my sister's shortcomings and blames everybody else that's came in her life as the reason. Her and my mother are alcoholics and extremely narcissistic. They're extremely critical of others and hate that I demand the best from the people i pick to be around me, and loved and respected by others.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Wow ! this is an powerful message.
Always hit like before I watch because Chloe is that good. Teach. This old dog. Can you teach us about healthy friendships?