Hi Teal, could you please do a video for people whose lives feel like there is very room for mistakes (and every steps in life needs to be exact if not everything collapses)? Please, it will be much appreciated
@banthatracks_gaffisticks The words can be reframing in themselves in this very video/blog post. We have to assume what resonates. Sometimes it’s subconscious, subjective, reactive, hormones, attitude, behavior and choices, and the reframing can be all about perception, perspective etc. You know what I’m getting at. Most of the time it’s not the words, it’s the actions :)
I tempted You, relentlessly, from 2013 till 2018 or so. It was my fault; I'm weak; I wanted to have an eternal connection to You - even if it had to be a trauma bond. I'm sorry; I apologize; it was my fault. not Yours. When the Creator asks us what happened to us, I'll tell the truth about my own culpability. I won't allow You to take the fall alone just because You're a Paranormal Person. I'll defend You and I hope You'll defend me, too. I Love You. Human beings are known for doing foolish things when it comes to love; the Creator knows and understands this.
I was just thinking about all the amazing fiber items (clothing, tools, bedding, bags, art) that was made by humans over the hundreds of thousands of years and how almost all of it is lost. 🥴
I'm more interested in the art that hides behind the foreground textile. (We got an unusual glimpse tho this time...niiiiiice as they said in south park)
BUT, if the itch is a previously lost sensory information (due to repression/supression of pain), feeling it unconditionally will give you that sensory information back. So to me it's not obvious what to transcend and what to get rid of through physical change.
I saw this quote that "your needs are always met by the universe, if you think you have a need that is not provided then it's not a real need" and I thought that's also a form of spiritual gaslighting. Like I am wrong for thinking that I have a need that is not fulfilled yet
Learn the difference between Need and Want. Need has to do with survival- roof, food, water. Wants are almost everything else. Unless it compromises your life and health in some way, it's not a Need. I've had to make do for some time living off govt aid. It doesn't mean I don't think I deserve to have money, a good paying job, nice things, but there are many people that exist without. LOA preaches using gratitude and assumption to have the extra wants met, if you think you prefer to have a certain lifestyle. But it is not necessary to suffer out of envy or perceived lack, by comparing yourself to people with more of their wants fulfilled. If you have food, clothes, and shelter, find contentment in the present while awaiting a change in the situation
@@lotus1716 I understand the difference you're mentioning. I actually saw that quote when I was struggling to make money for rent, so it was really hurtful rather than calming. Cause I think if we were protected and provided by the universe, no one would be in that position, to worry about the basics. And besides that, I think emotional connection is also a Need...a need that the self love spiritual community ignores it and refer to "everything you need is within you" while we really need true authentic connection with other people. I think of it as a need, not a want.
This is actually factually objectively untrue. The ONLY need the universe unconditionally provides you with a solution is breathing. Sure sure you can get your other needs met too but only by being a slave. Is being a slave for needs a divine providence? Or is it a diabolical providence rather? Spirituality is a cancer it's the same idiotic copium as religion.
Not all therapists ask you to bypass or reframe the situation. I have found many therapists who help you get to the heart of the problem, and would agree with Teal.
Yep, it's important to talk to your therapist and state your needs. If you say what doesn't work for you and why and what you would prefer, many therapists would accommodate that. They do understand, that people are all different too and require different approaches. Otherwise, they can also refer you to someone who can give you what you need better.
The examples given were of a TERRIBLE therapist. I would hope there are few if any therapists out there practicing like this, that therapy disempowers clients which is the opposite of what therapy is meant for.
Right? Thank you so much for this comment. I also have an issue with CBT, in many cases it's just gaslighting the people in treatment out of their very valid needs and serious issues that cannot be resolved by the patients on their own by just talking to the therapist, thinking about the problem or wrting down things into neat little notes. Sometimes people struggle with health issues, financial ruin and abusive situations without the resources to resolve things on their own or get away, but it still doesn't mean that they need to accept the current situation and think differently about it. It means that people sometimes need active tangible support from others and that it's ok to require social support, we are social creatures after all. Social isolation is also a serious issue and our need for connection is not some immature neediness or self-victimisation, it's a valid need that has to be addressed practically, not just mentally and not with one-sided responsibility.
Completely! Altho CBT has helped me overcome so much this is my current hurdle mostly do to my mental health education mixed with the level of disrespect and disheartening experiences I have been exposed to. It’s a delicate balancing act bc I don’t want to go off the deep end and I can’t afford a lawyer. The most logical thing has been to just keep focusing on what ever seems to keep my feet up under me at this point and since no one close to me is on any kind of healing journey or at all willing to take any personal accountability I have to just kinda keep pushing forward or make myself really small and live in a state of fawning to keep the peace which isn’t logical. I might not be able to completely take a stand yet but I am learning to keep my boundaries in place and alchemize the negative energies being sent my direction regularly.
@@bludesertfairy3370 It sounds like you're going through a lot and you're very determined to keep going. It's great that you were able to benefit from CBT, unfortunately it's just a short term solution that can only bring you so far. It doesn't help much when situations are too complex, entangled with other people's issues who impact your life negatively and you don't have the resources to get out of abusive situations or to tackle legal matters. I think it's a good tool for people who have a lot of options and want to figure out which way would be best for them, but it's not good to deal with complex trauma, deep shame and very limited financial and social opportunities. It's heartbreaking to hear that you have to make yourself small and fawn over people who are a threat within your living space, but at least you know it's only temporary and you're working on a plan to change the situation. I wish you all the luck you can get to change your situation for the better and create a safe environment to fulfill your needs!
Finally! Someone talked about it! In my CBT training, on the cognitive restructuring teaching day, I raised a question that if people in pre revolution France applied all of that there will have been no French revolution and Europe would've still been in darkness.. it's NOT all in the mind.. external situations sometimes need radical change
Teal 🙌🏼 I haven't listened to you for so long because I am a new mom with a 5 month old. This popped up on my phone and was what I needed 🙏🏼🙏🏼 love you so much❤
Great comment!!! All those spiritual people Teal mentions, usually are "forgiving" by repression, or from the distance. Meet annoying uncle Larry twice a week, and we'll see how far can you go with that new spiritual side ;) !
I’m shook because you used my birth name in your example I don’t go by it anymore but it is Briana plus your life example was spot on. I had a connection like that with my mother and my terrible stepfather and being surrounded by spiritual bypassers that make everything my responsibility. I feel responsible for so much and have hyper-independent traits because no one in my reality takes ownership of their own stuff. I’m drowning and in a very dark place mentally. And I get treated like it is all my fault. Life is one big gaslight for me and I’m ready to just leave. Update: I was having a very VERY bad time in life when I wrote this. I am doing much better but life can be extraordinarily painful sometimes. I felt hopeless when I wrote this. I am okay now and I am feeling a whole lot better. Life is still challenging at times but I am determined. Some days do still get the best of me though.
@@antoniyatreneva1201i don’t feel you understand what she was meaning. I feel the same way she does with her experience of life. I am also hyper independent and take more responsibility for everything than anyone who has ever been in my life. Its a not an easy road to be on. We should be able to rely on people to be there etc but that is something i have learned is not something that goes well long term in real life or at all.
the example of zoe is what i have experienced. i have been being harassed by some neighbors. insults every time they see me, and i'm just going about my business. it's not once or twice, it's ongoing. it's unprovoked abuse. i'm trying to just ignore it although it's pissing me off and depressing me. i talked to a therapist about it. she framed it just as "oh, don't let it bother you, don't be a victim" but it is me being victimized. being cursed at and having harsh insults yelled at me and being laughed at for no reason by strangers is abuse. it is inappropriate and it is harassment. it happens again and again, and it's ridiculous that i have to dread walking out my door and being around my apartment because i'm going be attacked. they even curse me out right outside my door! this is a problem. it clearly isn't going away. i'm suffering because i'm being hurt, and taking it, not because i'm trying to be a victim. i'm justified in being pissed off. this is unjust. i have a right to defend myself from mistreatment. i'm going to have to be assertive and put up boundaries, even get the landlord involved. good call teal. thank you.
Can you call the police for that? That's nuts. Also, talk to your other neighbors, they might be getting the same treatment. If you ban together and make a complaint, it can get resolved faster. Also if you have a ringlight and can get it recorded as evidence that can help to. But srsly, find another therapist. Your current one sounds like a dumbass. 😬
Yes, get proof, discretly check if others around them are also being harrassed, get written witness statements if you can and list dates, times in a book with specifics to co oberate and then take action, call in the authorities or lay a charge if necessary..it's a really tough situation, and can take time - you can do this - good luck Also, if the situation is dangerous make sure you're not on your own facing them, when you do
Interesting that you would mention this under this exact video. Growing up i unfortunately had to grow up with neighbors similar to the ones you are discribing. As a young teenager I did everything I could to “reframe” this sad reality because I couldn’t just move away and I had to find a way to endure it. Honestly I don’t blame my younger self for trying to change my thoughts but really what I needed was to move out and get away from toxic people. Some people are just born troublemakers and will never change and you need to understand this. Probably moving away is the only thing that is advisable in your situation. I have had to spend many years as a young adult trying To come to terms that “reframing” can be abused in such a way when really what I really would have needed was either a restraining order from a judge or for my parents to move us away. Sometimes it is the outer reality that needs changing not the inner reality. Telling you anything else would be cynical and holding you captive. If the situation doesn’t improve get a restraining order or move out. Best of luck!
That’s a weird way to approach it from your therapist. Sorry you’re going through this🫂 look up “small tyrant” by Castaneda, it’s a concept from his book, might help you
Sounds like re-framing is a very bad idea as a whole, better to just be honest with yourself and about your life's circumstances, & seek to change what needs to change by coming up with a plan to get out of the difficulties you face. Like getting out of debt for example, you seek wisdom about finances, create a plan and stick to the plan over the long term in order to achieve your goal. Along the way you may have to face the reasons you like to overspend and learn to become a more frugal person. Seems like re-framing is touted as a quick fix, but quick fixes are never any good for the long haul. Thanks Teal for sharing your insight on this subject!
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Damn Mary made me say that ! phone on silent, i ain't ignoring
Actually, I think that’s a very wise saying because you need to find out what you can and can’t control. I don’t think it’s talking about mentally reframing; I think it’s just about accepting that there are some things in life you can’t change, like other people’s behavior, for example.
Stfu, stop being so disrespectful and rude, you saying that is extremely offensive and rude. You don’t know what anyone is capable of, so therefore stop.
@@maniau There are some things in life that we can’t change. My husband developed Lewy body dementia with Parkinson’s from being exposed to Agent Orange in Vietnam, where he did not want to go. It’s a horrible disease and it ended up killing him because it’s fatal. There wasn’t a damn thing anybody could do about it. It’s a nice thought that we can change everything, but we can’t. That’s just being in denial.
Thank you, Teal. You are giving extremely valuable deep insight into this human life. I am so thankful for your help. I am a person who was born in Hungary where looking at our emotions and the truth does not come very naturally because it's quite painful and confusing. But you helped me a lot to start to see things for what they are in the fog of extreme pain and it's all becoming clearer and clearer. You are loved and appreciated!
Real life story: my former therapist got "obsessed" with reframing. Since I am healing from severe trauma, she started to push me into reframing every experience.... everything. Not only to see good in crappy moments, but also bad things in good! TOTAL PROJECTION. At some point I told her, that I don't give her a permission to use reframing in my presence. She got angry. In a result, at some point I had a serious attack of AFib, I've never experienced such thing before! I thought I'd die. A doctor asked me what happened, I told him it happened after a therapeutic session. He told me it's forbidden to me to participate in such therapy! Never again , under no circumstance. That "reframing" was abusive and toxic. As you can imagine, I never went to that therapist again. And, thanks to kind, genuine ,loving talk with my friend, I started to feel better about myself!
@tealswanofficial I was watching your interview with Neeta Bhushan where you mention the people who love you are not as vocal as the ones who don't. I am going to be more vocal. Teal, the world needs you. I need you. I'm so glad I get to live in a world where you exist. Please keep existing.
Thank you very much! I'm French, and my English is not very good, but with the help of translation, I was able to understand you and find the conversation very interesting.
This is why it is always important to separate the unwanted behavior from the positive intention when reframing and making a sound ecology-check. If a smoker wants to stop smoking, we can notice that it's not the smoking (unwanted behavior) the client essentially wants, it's the reduces stress from smoking (positive intention). In this way we can find new, better and more holistic behavior that is aligned with one's identity, values and environment.. and the positive intention of reducing stress! If you just reframe smoking into something positive, you will reinforce the smoking. This is not giving the client many options, resources and choices. Your video also implies some deeply interesting presuppositions about epistemology, linguistics and metaphysics. Amazing. Thanks Teal!
I've always been authentic and sensitive. My family literally brainwashed me in every situation, forcing me to change the way i was. They reframed everything in order to invalidate me and my feelings, kept convincing me im wrong and need to change. Being a helpless teenager in a big family, i had to pretend they were right. This created a big conflict inside me, which resulted in severe depression later. Even when my exhusband was treating me badly, my therapist used to reframe the facts i was saying in such a way it's never his fault, it's all in my head. Reframing is one of the worst tools used to keep an abused person trapped, confused & unable to get out of their misrable state.
Reframing truly only works if you’re dealing with negative thoughts but you also have to figure out the source of the negative thoughts. It’s much more productive to do a check ins with yourself when contrast comes up
I think your type of thinking is why most people aren't self aware or can truly understand someone else's perspective. It seems you're essentially saying you can't change your perspective unless you're dealing with negative thoughts or a troubling situation. And that seems to mostly be when people actual do self reflection instead of being on autopilot and readily buying into their thoughts.
@@2eleven40 To use your own words, your type of thinking is why most people lack the sensitivity and compassion to understand another person’s perspective. Ironically, this would’ve been an opportunity for you to understand my POV before you felt the need to criticize me personally. It sounds like you’re the one who could use some self awareness. First of all, where did you even get the idea that negative thoughts, which for some ppl can be distressing and intrusive and does warrant counseling, can impede someone … from understanding another person’s perspective ?? Negative thoughts alone are kind of broad, you would actually have to look at the nature of those thoughts to determine the personality. You seem to be drawing this conclusion that ppl who suffer with negative thoughts are too wrapped up in their own perspective to understand other ppl outside of themself which is a perspective that lacks compassion in and of itself. “You’re essentially saying that you can’t change your perspective unless you’re dealing with negative thoughts or dealing with a troubling situation” ????? No ????? I’m talking specifically about “reframing” which is a little different than trying to understand someone’s point of view. If you watched this video, you would understand “Reframing” is a therapized technique that allows you to put a positive spin on a negative situation or belief. And some times this actually can be helpful. But Teal also gave examples that demonstrated where it’s not as effective.
@@cecelpstv To use your own words, that you apparently edited out, "Wow so many wild presumptions here. That's what you gleaned from this brief comment ?"
@@cecelpstv You don't have a point. You edited your response more than once, and I obviously screenshot it the first time and have been observing your reactions. Whatever point you claim you had for me to learn, I'm learning and you're not presenting yourself in the best light. But whatever makes you feel better. You didn't deny my declaration that you've edited your post, and it's clearly in an attempt to make yourself look good or why else would you remove it. Thanks for the lessons.
The TV show "Mr Robot" is a great series to understand the ego and how parts are constructed from childhood and so much on what she is saying: comping mechanisms, overlays and the inner conflict/war.
Awesome. So many new age therapist need to hear this. Lack of attunement is also spot on. Going through trauma it´s sometimes needed to live in a constant refraiming. I just saw that I´ve certainly done that for the years I was in it while feeling powerless over a circumstance as part of mt survival mechanism.
This came at just the right time. Dealing with deception in a relationship at the moment. It’s not going away. Got to figure out if I stay or go. Really just feeling disappointed as the main emotion at the moment about the whole thing.
YOU teach others how to treat you👉If they don’t appreciate your presence then you must give them the gift of your absence!…..And, never look back bc you’re not going👉 that way! 🦋
I'm grateful for your words, I've been feeling this way about a lot of "healing" modalities. I'd rather deal with the root causes and not change the way I view or perceive any given "issue". ❤ gives great perspective
This info and perspective is just brillant! This one hit home in a big way. As a cronic "people pleaser", this video may be a big help for seeing, seeking and accepting things for how they really are going forward in my life. Just amazing, thanks!
This video is a great reminder to me. Reframing has been useful for me at times however i went too far with it and it meant I stayed in stale situations. Being honest with myself and letting my emotions loose and going "F*ck this!" has led to action and change. I just have to rememeber this.
By far one of my favorite videos you’ve ever put out. I used to be the king of reframing and I just had a situation come up today that’s relevant to this. Thanks teal much love
hey teal! this isent related to the video but i hope you get the chance to read this. You helped pull me out of and recover from an eating disorder of 6 years and struggles with suicide and depression for at least 5 years. today i have achieved and created finally a life i wish to live, and can experience freedom with food whilst still being in a body that i accept and want to be in. I no longer have issues with food anymore, and actually feel some enthusiasm for life. Ive tried so many things in the past, and nothing worked until i finally let go and went into the pain. i spent months in the darkness, but it finally led me to the light. thank you again teal. you are the brightest gem there is
This is really big for me, I tried to cure the wrong thing for many years. And it really piss me of to see that many so called spiritual teachers still teach people to pretend and lie to themselves about the situation. Thank you, Teal, much Love ❤️ 🙏
I have felt it when a therapist says responds to me speaking about a deep trauma like "Well if you choose to go with the gratefulness in the situation". As if I was holding on to something neagtive. I feel like I need someone to witness the pain not bypassing it.
this also gets me because you might be working on being grateful all day every day, only to be told the reason you feel pain from a trauma is lack of gratitude. when you do not lack gratitude you are working on it all day every day. in countries where there is war idk if people are sitting around telling each other to be so grateful for the opportunity to grow that war has offered them. instead they are witnessing and mirroring each other's real struggles and real emotions from the war and letting people get it out THEN having a dance party.
I‘ve been following you for a couple of years now, and during that time, every video, or interview that I‘ve listened to has resonated with me. Thank you for being and thank you for your awesome work.
This is what I experienced all the time years ago when I was among "spiritual" people. I saw a lot of people accepting horrible behavior, in the name of learning or facing demons. Also open relationship stuff. But just in general always putting it back on you when in fact some behavior happened that wasn't good, or wounding.
Your the Queen! So many points that I can easily understand..."putting the shoe on the other foot"should only really come with true intentions! most think ignorance=Resilience!
Dearest Teal, I love you, I love you, I love you so much, thank you, thank you, thank you for being voice of sanity and reason in this messed up world. I'm Brianna and literally everyone around me is Ivory, it makes me screaming inside and tears me apart, my parents have even conveniently 'forgot' (or so they claim) all the bad stuff they did to me and my brother is also telling me I'm imagining it all. It's the worst thing ever.
At the start of the video and Teal Swan has once again got to the core it. I too used reframing in an unhealthy way and this led to me staying in bad situations/relations/experiences longer than necessary. Like anything, it is in the application of the knowledge, tool, and so on that determines a healthy or unhealthy outcome.
FACTS!!! I experience this in my family. The codependency and scapegoating is endless with my ex-family bc it is traditional to always put the "mother" on a pedestal regardless of how they treat them
Great video. This is something I have always struggled with, in the area of friendships and relationships. I try to reframe/gaslight myself out of unpleasant or "unloving/uncaring" feelings that are actually a legitimate response to certain words/behaviours. Not helped by important people in my life telling me that maybe it's a childhood trauma response, maybe I could work through it by being more spiritually enlightened, maybe it's my monthly hormones, maybe I'm "just nuts". Therapy has helped me to see that my feelings are a direct response to situations.
As a teacher myself, reframing can be a powerful tool to get out of a negative spiral and into inspired action. But indeed if it is used as a coping mechanism to not do any action at all, then it is a recipe for destruction. (as with all things used as a coping mechanism). The title should be: "8 Hidden Dangers of Reframing Your Thoughts IF used as a coping mechanism". Love ya Teal, keep doing your amazing work :)
Thank you so much. Guilty of almost all you mentionned. I will watch everything you recommended. That's something I seriously want to work on. Have a good week ❤ and thanks
This was a great video. What I find confusing is that my understanding had been that a lot of shadow work seemed to my mind to involve reframing. So if your shadow was anger then acknowledging and seeing how anger can help/he protective which feels a bit like reframing? The same for some of the tools for overcoming shame which involve learning to see the positive in the thing you're ashamed of, which again feels like reframing. It's very possible I'm misunderstanding these terms though.
ThankU hmm Watching this leads me to think reframing is not something I use. Denial i am familiar, and am finding it wrenching to remove denial. I was taken by your words on gaslighting, conscious vs unconscious. You asserted that we can never be sure of what's true. Are we then perpetually in doubt. Reality is quicksand. I noticed good scientists always say: More research must be done
IMO the most brutal but honest reframing is that life _is_ a zero-sum game. I mean, ultimately, there is no reward and no punishment at the end of it. After you die, you die; and it is for you as if you never existed (-- Alan Watts). To me, this is the ultimate spiritual liberation one can have. Meaning, if you believe otherwise, you are bound to suffer. BTW this is also _the_ cessation of all denial. You may want to read The Elephant and the Blind" by Thomas Metzinger on this matter, especially chapter 17. (The book is free to download in the PDF format) Admittedly, this is also what Metzinger calls a toxic epistemic state (defined as "any form of knowledge or insight that threatens the biological fitness of an organism, its individual reproductive success"). But he also makes the observation that "An epistemic state that is toxic from a biological perspective may be seen as a healing or liberating form of insight from a spiritual perspective".
SO DEAD ON. Every word. And yes there are those "movements" that encourage forgiveness above all else. TERRIBLE. In 1978 a wonderful book came out by the psychiatrist M. Scott Peck, M.D. based on 35 years of his work. It was the first to focus on this line of thinking. Page One "Problems and Pain Line one : "Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it." Get the book if even to read just the first chapter, "Problems and Pain" He says by not dealing with your truth, your pain, and pouring on layers and layer of escapes (as Teal says "reframes") emotionally you get worse.... period. This is great Teal. SO essential for people to get what you are saying.
Wowza❣️ this is a biggie! I see so many participating and something felt off to me when I had first learned of the idea. I've also had friends, well meaning, say that I needed to look at my situations through different lenses or they wouldn't be looking at a situation as I am. Thanks for always showing us all sides to these glorious fixes 🙏💜😜
0:00 💡 Reframing changes our reality by altering our perspective on thoughts, emotions, beliefs, or situations. 1:02 📉 Reframing can be used as a coping mechanism, potentially keeping us stuck in negative situations. 1:55 🏢 Example: Melanie uses reframing to cope with a miserable job, avoiding necessary life changes. 2:43 👫 Example: Zoe's therapist uses reframing, causing Zoe to stay in an abusive relationship. 4:10 🌪 Denial through reframing prevents addressing and accepting the reality of a situation. 5:00 ✈ Example: Denial is like ignoring a low oil pressure warning on a plane, dangerous and ineffective. 6:22 🏰 Reframing can create an "overlay," a false reality that detaches us from actual reality. 8:03 👥 Reframing can harm relationships by invalidating others' experiences and causing emotional isolation. 10:09 🧘♀ Example: Avery's spiritual reframing invalidates Briana's pain, damaging their friendship. 12:09 🌈 Toxic positivity, a form of reframing, rejects difficult emotions and prevents authentic living. 12:58 🚧 Bypassing uses reframing to avoid facing and healing from painful feelings and unresolved wounds. 13:54 🎭 Reframing can lead to gaslighting, making oneself or others question their reality and personal truth. 15:12 ⚖ Reframing can oversimplify complex situations, leading to black-and-white thinking and loss of nuance.
Ahhh this is so good. I can’t think of any other material I come across where I am like, yes. You really do swerve through the tunnels and examine all of it, and even pull back to examine that. And.. it’s practical, and not overwhelming and you’re just right. I am so used to picking up parts and pieces and the more these videos evolve in time the more I am like, yes. I feel like it can be so unpopular or even causing a lot of reflection but when I hear you it’s hearing my notes verbalized and, yes. Thank you for this particular content, and the references to bypassing, and other spiritual traps. And non spiritual. Dammit I hate understanding this- I’m not sure why. It makes me feel alone somehow? Like yes why is everyone doing this?? But, I’ve watched myself move through all these things and still catch myself in them so really I’m not alone at all. Great video.
PS In thinking about this subject, I realized that people are given this concept to shield them from the harsh realities of life, this is wrong on so many levels. Overcoming challenges, obstacles, problem solving, developing strength of character, and many other life skills are all needed to survive and to thrive. We grow as a person as we face challenges, not hiding behind re-framing as a scared child looking to avoid/run away from the school bully one more time. This creates weak, passive, easily manipulated people, ripe for an abusive/toxic person to use & abuse, and worse yet an authoritarian government to do as they please!
How do I reframe my reframe, lol! Thank you, Teal, for this. You have been my rock throughout my entire Kundalini journey. You have always encouraged me to view shadow and light as one and to understand that they go hand in hand. Funny enough (because we don't live in a simulation... right?!) I have been trying to "convince" my partner of this topic and how it affects our relationship, with no success, obviously. I am so happy that you released this video on this topic today. It really helped to ground my perspective that has been tainted as of late. Love ya! - Chantelle
Wow.. that last one hit me hard in a good way. "... But you will find that over the course of your path of healing and expanding, there are plenty of helpful thoughts and perceptions that don't exactly feel good". I've experienced that several times as well as recently, like a thought being "helpful" and maybe sometimes working but other times not working so much and being also far from my personal truth. In general this whole theme of the video about reframing... It's exactly like that... It can indeed sometimes do more bad than good especially if you're in a situation where you're always finding yourself reframing cause there's "no other way" and the other person "knows that much so they can't do otherwise" and all of this mentality "it's an opportunity to face and overcome XYZ"... Well yeah... In a certain extent maybe... Because.. what about boundaries? What about truths that need to be told? Decisions that need to be made cause a situation is unworkable? I recently had again a situation like this where I felt I was being violated and needed to communicate some truths and some boundaries and once again I got the advice to kind of reframe and act "that way" where instead what I needed to do was to f*kin acknowledge the situation and actual behavior of the other person and speak my truth and protect myself and act "this" way. Which I eventually did. But until then..... Oh gosh the torment.... So thank you Teal.. so much .. 💗 You are amazing, thank you so much for being here ✨🌻🌊 greetings to everyone 💕
Incase you'd rather read about it instead and want to dive deeper into today's topic: tealswan.vip/workbooks
Hi Teal, could you please do a video for people whose lives feel like there is very room for mistakes (and every steps in life needs to be exact if not everything collapses)? Please, it will be much appreciated
@banthatracks_gaffisticks The words can be reframing in themselves in this very video/blog post. We have to assume what resonates. Sometimes it’s subconscious, subjective, reactive, hormones, attitude, behavior and choices, and the reframing can be all about perception, perspective etc. You know what I’m getting at. Most of the time it’s not the words, it’s the actions :)
I tempted You, relentlessly, from 2013 till 2018 or so. It was my fault; I'm weak; I wanted to have an eternal connection to You - even if it had to be a trauma bond. I'm sorry; I apologize; it was my fault. not Yours. When the Creator asks us what happened to us, I'll tell the truth about my own culpability. I won't allow You to take the fall alone just because You're a Paranormal Person. I'll defend You and I hope You'll defend me, too. I Love You. Human beings are known for doing foolish things when it comes to love; the Creator knows and understands this.
I like you.
th-cam.com/video/PoiP6BKhdxU/w-d-xo.html
That is a glorious piece of textile art in the backdrop!
I was just thinking about all the amazing fiber items (clothing, tools, bedding, bags, art) that was made by humans over the hundreds of thousands of years and how almost all of it is lost. 🥴
Right
I'm more interested in the art that hides behind the foreground textile. (We got an unusual glimpse tho this time...niiiiiice as they said in south park)
Feeling better about an itch doesn't make the itch go away.
💥
I like that analogie, I'll remember it ❤
BUT, if the itch is a previously lost sensory information (due to repression/supression of pain), feeling it unconditionally will give you that sensory information back. So to me it's not obvious what to transcend and what to get rid of through physical change.
Hmm. Ok to make amends with the itch and not scratch until wounded. But DO leave the patio with the mosquito and close the screen behind you.
I saw this quote that "your needs are always met by the universe, if you think you have a need that is not provided then it's not a real need" and I thought that's also a form of spiritual gaslighting. Like I am wrong for thinking that I have a need that is not fulfilled yet
Yeah exactly tell that quote to a starving kid and see what they think lol 😂
the universe is abundant and loves you but needs you to learn to need less.
Learn the difference between Need and Want. Need has to do with survival- roof, food, water.
Wants are almost everything else. Unless it compromises your life and health in some way, it's not a Need.
I've had to make do for some time living off govt aid. It doesn't mean I don't think I deserve to have money, a good paying job, nice things, but there are many people that exist without. LOA preaches using gratitude and assumption to have the extra wants met, if you think you prefer to have a certain lifestyle. But it is not necessary to suffer out of envy or perceived lack, by comparing yourself to people with more of their wants fulfilled. If you have food, clothes, and shelter, find contentment in the present while awaiting a change in the situation
@@lotus1716 I understand the difference you're mentioning. I actually saw that quote when I was struggling to make money for rent, so it was really hurtful rather than calming. Cause I think if we were protected and provided by the universe, no one would be in that position, to worry about the basics.
And besides that, I think emotional connection is also a Need...a need that the self love spiritual community ignores it and refer to "everything you need is within you" while we really need true authentic connection with other people. I think of it as a need, not a want.
This is actually factually objectively untrue. The ONLY need the universe unconditionally provides you with a solution is breathing. Sure sure you can get your other needs met too but only by being a slave. Is being a slave for needs a divine providence? Or is it a diabolical providence rather?
Spirituality is a cancer it's the same idiotic copium as religion.
This has always made me wary of therapy. If I'm dissatisfied about something it's for a good reason.
Not all therapists ask you to bypass or reframe the situation. I have found many therapists who help you get to the heart of the problem, and would agree with Teal.
Therapists are human. They are not all the same. They don’t all have the same views, methods, or training. Be wary of overgeneralizing.
Yep, it's important to talk to your therapist and state your needs. If you say what doesn't work for you and why and what you would prefer, many therapists would accommodate that. They do understand, that people are all different too and require different approaches. Otherwise, they can also refer you to someone who can give you what you need better.
The examples given were of a TERRIBLE therapist. I would hope there are few if any therapists out there practicing like this, that therapy disempowers clients which is the opposite of what therapy is meant for.
You have tackled the gaping hole in cognitive-behavioral psychology/psychotherapy
Right? Thank you so much for this comment.
I also have an issue with CBT, in many cases it's just gaslighting the people in treatment out of their very valid needs and serious issues that cannot be resolved by the patients on their own by just talking to the therapist, thinking about the problem or wrting down things into neat little notes.
Sometimes people struggle with health issues, financial ruin and abusive situations without the resources to resolve things on their own or get away, but it still doesn't mean that they need to accept the current situation and think differently about it. It means that people sometimes need active tangible support from others and that it's ok to require social support, we are social creatures after all. Social isolation is also a serious issue and our need for connection is not some immature neediness or self-victimisation, it's a valid need that has to be addressed practically, not just mentally and not with one-sided responsibility.
Completely! Altho CBT has helped me overcome so much this is my current hurdle mostly do to my mental health education mixed with the level of disrespect and disheartening experiences I have been exposed to. It’s a delicate balancing act bc I don’t want to go off the deep end and I can’t afford a lawyer. The most logical thing has been to just keep focusing on what ever seems to keep my feet up under me at this point and since no one close to me is on any kind of healing journey or at all willing to take any personal accountability I have to just kinda keep pushing forward or make myself really small and live in a state of fawning to keep the peace which isn’t logical. I might not be able to completely take a stand yet but I am learning to keep my boundaries in place and alchemize the negative energies being sent my direction regularly.
@@bludesertfairy3370 It sounds like you're going through a lot and you're very determined to keep going.
It's great that you were able to benefit from CBT, unfortunately it's just a short term solution that can only bring you so far. It doesn't help much when situations are too complex, entangled with other people's issues who impact your life negatively and you don't have the resources to get out of abusive situations or to tackle legal matters. I think it's a good tool for people who have a lot of options and want to figure out which way would be best for them, but it's not good to deal with complex trauma, deep shame and very limited financial and social opportunities.
It's heartbreaking to hear that you have to make yourself small and fawn over people who are a threat within your living space, but at least you know it's only temporary and you're working on a plan to change the situation. I wish you all the luck you can get to change your situation for the better and create a safe environment to fulfill your needs!
Yes! Spot on.
Finally! Someone talked about it! In my CBT training, on the cognitive restructuring teaching day, I raised a question that if people in pre revolution France applied all of that there will have been no French revolution and Europe would've still been in darkness.. it's NOT all in the mind.. external situations sometimes need radical change
Teal 🙌🏼 I haven't listened to you for so long because I am a new mom with a 5 month old. This popped up on my phone and was what I needed 🙏🏼🙏🏼 love you so much❤
"When ever you feel the most Spiritual Awakened, go and spend 1 month with your family" best way to return to earth
Is that a joke?
@@annikajohansson9171 yeah, but is a truth also. I think it was Ram Das who say it, I think
Great comment!!! All those spiritual people Teal mentions, usually are "forgiving" by repression, or from the distance. Meet annoying uncle Larry twice a week, and we'll see how far can you go with that new spiritual side ;) !
😂🎉 amen 🙌
yeah it's rough
10:00 I love it when Teal subtly mocks the people who go the "checking the boxes" spiritual route.
😂 same 😂❤
I’m shook because you used my birth name in your example I don’t go by it anymore but it is Briana plus your life example was spot on. I had a connection like that with my mother and my terrible stepfather and being surrounded by spiritual bypassers that make everything my responsibility. I feel responsible for so much and have hyper-independent traits because no one in my reality takes ownership of their own stuff. I’m drowning and in a very dark place mentally. And I get treated like it is all my fault. Life is one big gaslight for me and I’m ready to just leave.
Update: I was having a very VERY bad time in life when I wrote this. I am doing much better but life can be extraordinarily painful sometimes. I felt hopeless when I wrote this. I am okay now and I am feeling a whole lot better. Life is still challenging at times but I am determined. Some days do still get the best of me though.
I'm really sorry you're having to go through that :(
You are not alone. Things will eventually change and hopefully life will get better ❤️🩹
You’re not alone, 🪷
Then why do u call yourself "divine sacred wisdom"? Aren't u suppose to share your wisdom with such a nickname? U are fooling people
@@antoniyatreneva1201i don’t feel you understand what she was meaning. I feel the same way she does with her experience of life. I am also hyper independent and take more responsibility for everything than anyone who has ever been in my life. Its a not an easy road to be on. We should be able to rely on people to be there etc but that is something i have learned is not something that goes well long term in real life or at all.
the example of zoe is what i have experienced. i have been being harassed by some neighbors. insults every time they see me, and i'm just going about my business. it's not once or twice, it's ongoing. it's unprovoked abuse. i'm trying to just ignore it although it's pissing me off and depressing me. i talked to a therapist about it. she framed it just as "oh, don't let it bother you, don't be a victim" but it is me being victimized. being cursed at and having harsh insults yelled at me and being laughed at for no reason by strangers is abuse. it is inappropriate and it is harassment. it happens again and again, and it's ridiculous that i have to dread walking out my door and being around my apartment because i'm going be attacked. they even curse me out right outside my door! this is a problem. it clearly isn't going away. i'm suffering because i'm being hurt, and taking it, not because i'm trying to be a victim. i'm justified in being pissed off. this is unjust. i have a right to defend myself from mistreatment. i'm going to have to be assertive and put up boundaries, even get the landlord involved. good call teal. thank you.
Can you call the police for that? That's nuts. Also, talk to your other neighbors, they might be getting the same treatment. If you ban together and make a complaint, it can get resolved faster. Also if you have a ringlight and can get it recorded as evidence that can help to.
But srsly, find another therapist. Your current one sounds like a dumbass. 😬
Whip out your cell phone and record!!!!!!!
Yes, get proof, discretly check if others around them are also being harrassed, get written witness statements if you can and list dates, times in a book with specifics to co oberate and then take action, call in the authorities or lay a charge if necessary..it's a really tough situation, and can take time - you can do this - good luck
Also, if the situation is dangerous make sure you're not on your own facing them, when you do
Interesting that you would mention this under this exact video.
Growing up i unfortunately had to grow up with neighbors similar to the ones you are discribing.
As a young teenager I did everything I could to “reframe” this sad reality because I couldn’t just move away and I had to find a way to endure it.
Honestly I don’t blame my younger self for trying to change my thoughts but really what I needed was to move out and get away from toxic people.
Some people are just born troublemakers and will never change and you need to understand this.
Probably moving away is the only thing that is advisable in your situation.
I have had to spend many years as a young adult trying To come to terms that “reframing” can be abused in such a way when really what I really would have needed was either a restraining order from a judge or for my parents to move us away.
Sometimes it is the outer reality that needs changing not the inner reality.
Telling you anything else would be cynical and holding you captive.
If the situation doesn’t improve get a restraining order or move out.
Best of luck!
That’s a weird way to approach it from your therapist. Sorry you’re going through this🫂 look up “small tyrant” by Castaneda, it’s a concept from his book, might help you
This whole video is very visually/ aesthetically pleasing. Even your shirt matches the flowers in the background. So pretty
Sounds like re-framing is a very bad idea as a whole, better to just be honest with yourself and about your life's circumstances, & seek to change what needs to change by coming up with a plan to get out of the difficulties you face. Like getting out of debt for example, you seek wisdom about finances, create a plan and stick to the plan over the long term in order to achieve your goal. Along the way you may have to face the reasons you like to overspend and learn to become a more frugal person. Seems like re-framing is touted as a quick fix, but quick fixes are never any good for the long haul. Thanks Teal for sharing your insight on this subject!
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Damn Mary made me say that ! phone on silent, i ain't ignoring
Actually, I think that’s a very wise saying because you need to find out what you can and can’t control. I don’t think it’s talking about mentally reframing; I think it’s just about accepting that there are some things in life you can’t change, like other people’s behavior, for example.
God, grant me the power to change the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to accept that the the things I think cannot change, can be changed.
Stfu, stop being so disrespectful and rude, you saying that is extremely offensive and rude. You don’t know what anyone is capable of, so therefore stop.
The stuff you just said is so extremely disrespectful stop saying that. I am truly offended
@@maniau There are some things in life that we can’t change. My husband developed Lewy body dementia with Parkinson’s from being exposed to Agent Orange in Vietnam, where he did not want to go. It’s a horrible disease and it ended up killing him because it’s fatal. There wasn’t a damn thing anybody could do about it. It’s a nice thought that we can change everything, but we can’t. That’s just being in denial.
Thank you, Teal. You are giving extremely valuable deep insight into this human life. I am so thankful for your help.
I am a person who was born in Hungary where looking at our emotions and the truth does not come very naturally because it's quite painful and confusing. But you helped me a lot to start to see things for what they are in the fog of extreme pain and it's all becoming clearer and clearer. You are loved and appreciated!
Real life story: my former therapist got "obsessed" with reframing. Since I am healing from severe trauma, she started to push me into reframing every experience.... everything. Not only to see good in crappy moments, but also bad things in good! TOTAL PROJECTION. At some point I told her, that I don't give her a permission to use reframing in my presence. She got angry.
In a result, at some point I had a serious attack of AFib, I've never experienced such thing before! I thought I'd die. A doctor asked me what happened, I told him it happened after a therapeutic session. He told me it's forbidden to me to participate in such therapy! Never again , under no circumstance. That "reframing" was abusive and toxic. As you can imagine, I never went to that therapist again. And, thanks to kind, genuine ,loving talk with my friend, I started to feel better about myself!
@tealswanofficial I was watching your interview with Neeta Bhushan where you mention the people who love you are not as vocal as the ones who don't. I am going to be more vocal. Teal, the world needs you. I need you. I'm so glad I get to live in a world where you exist. Please keep existing.
She is my favourite woman in the planet, she brings so much healing. Bless you❤
Thank you very much! I'm French, and my English is not very good, but with the help of translation, I was able to understand you and find the conversation very interesting.
This is why it is always important to separate the unwanted behavior from the positive intention when reframing and making a sound ecology-check. If a smoker wants to stop smoking, we can notice that it's not the smoking (unwanted behavior) the client essentially wants, it's the reduces stress from smoking (positive intention). In this way we can find new, better and more holistic behavior that is aligned with one's identity, values and environment.. and the positive intention of reducing stress! If you just reframe smoking into something positive, you will reinforce the smoking. This is not giving the client many options, resources and choices.
Your video also implies some deeply interesting presuppositions about epistemology, linguistics and metaphysics. Amazing.
Thanks Teal!
I've always been authentic and sensitive. My family literally brainwashed me in every situation, forcing me to change the way i was. They reframed everything in order to invalidate me and my feelings, kept convincing me im wrong and need to change. Being a helpless teenager in a big family, i had to pretend they were right. This created a big conflict inside me, which resulted in severe depression later. Even when my exhusband was treating me badly, my therapist used to reframe the facts i was saying in such a way it's never his fault, it's all in my head. Reframing is one of the worst tools used to keep an abused person trapped, confused & unable to get out of their misrable state.
Reframing truly only works if you’re dealing with negative thoughts but you also have to figure out the source of the negative thoughts. It’s much more productive to do a check ins with yourself when contrast comes up
I think your type of thinking is why most people aren't self aware or can truly understand someone else's perspective. It seems you're essentially saying you can't change your perspective unless you're dealing with negative thoughts or a troubling situation. And that seems to mostly be when people actual do self reflection instead of being on autopilot and readily buying into their thoughts.
@@2eleven40 To use your own words, your type of thinking is why most people lack the sensitivity and compassion to understand another person’s perspective. Ironically, this would’ve been an opportunity for you to understand my POV before you felt the need to criticize me personally. It sounds like you’re the one who could use some self awareness.
First of all, where did you even get the idea that negative thoughts, which for some ppl can be distressing and intrusive and does warrant counseling, can impede someone … from understanding another person’s perspective ?? Negative thoughts alone are kind of broad, you would actually have to look at the nature of those thoughts to determine the personality. You seem to be drawing this conclusion that ppl who suffer with negative thoughts are too wrapped up in their own perspective to understand other ppl outside of themself which is a perspective that lacks compassion in and of itself.
“You’re essentially saying that you can’t change your perspective unless you’re dealing with negative thoughts or dealing with a troubling situation” ????? No ????? I’m talking specifically about “reframing” which is a little different than trying to understand someone’s point of view. If you watched this video, you would understand “Reframing” is a therapized technique that allows you to put a positive spin on a negative situation or belief. And some times this actually can be helpful. But Teal also gave examples that demonstrated where it’s not as effective.
@@cecelpstv To use your own words, that you apparently edited out, "Wow so many wild presumptions here. That's what you gleaned from this brief comment ?"
@@2eleven40 😂 You’re still proving my point. Have a nice day!
@@cecelpstv You don't have a point. You edited your response more than once, and I obviously screenshot it the first time and have been observing your reactions. Whatever point you claim you had for me to learn, I'm learning and you're not presenting yourself in the best light. But whatever makes you feel better. You didn't deny my declaration that you've edited your post, and it's clearly in an attempt to make yourself look good or why else would you remove it. Thanks for the lessons.
The TV show "Mr Robot" is a great series to understand the ego and how parts are constructed from childhood and so much on what she is saying: comping mechanisms, overlays and the inner conflict/war.
Awesome. So many new age therapist need to hear this. Lack of attunement is also spot on. Going through trauma it´s sometimes needed to live in a constant refraiming. I just saw that I´ve certainly done that for the years I was in it while feeling powerless over a circumstance as part of mt survival mechanism.
This came at just the right time. Dealing with deception in a relationship at the moment. It’s not going away. Got to figure out if I stay or go. Really just feeling disappointed as the main emotion at the moment about the whole thing.
YOU teach others how to treat you👉If they don’t appreciate your presence then you must give them the gift of your absence!…..And, never look back bc you’re not going👉 that way!
🦋
I'm grateful for your words, I've been feeling this way about a lot of "healing" modalities. I'd rather deal with the root causes and not change the way I view or perceive any given "issue". ❤ gives great perspective
This info and perspective is just brillant! This one hit home in a big way. As a cronic "people pleaser", this video may be a big help for seeing, seeking and accepting things for how they really are going forward in my life. Just amazing, thanks!
WOW this gave me several AHHAS!!! THANK You Teal!!! SO MANY times when I'm stuck, your videos HELP ME!!! 💛💛💚💚💙💙🧡🧡💜💜❤❤Much LOVE and GRATITUDE!!!
This video is a great reminder to me. Reframing has been useful for me at times however i went too far with it and it meant I stayed in stale situations. Being honest with myself and letting my emotions loose and going "F*ck this!" has led to action and change. I just have to rememeber this.
By far one of my favorite videos you’ve ever put out. I used to be the king of reframing and I just had a situation come up today that’s relevant to this. Thanks teal much love
hey teal! this isent related to the video but i hope you get the chance to read this. You helped pull me out of and recover from an eating disorder of 6 years and struggles with suicide and depression for at least 5 years. today i have achieved and created finally a life i wish to live, and can experience freedom with food whilst still being in a body that i accept and want to be in. I no longer have issues with food anymore, and actually feel some enthusiasm for life. Ive tried so many things in the past, and nothing worked until i finally let go and went into the pain. i spent months in the darkness, but it finally led me to the light. thank you again teal. you are the brightest gem there is
Whenever I feel down, I watch your videos. I'm instantly feeling more motivated and less heavy :) Thank you so much!
This is really big for me, I tried to cure the wrong thing for many years. And it really piss me of to see that many so called spiritual teachers still teach people to pretend and lie to themselves about the situation. Thank you, Teal, much Love ❤️ 🙏
lol Teal's play-acting facial expressions are hilarious 🤣🤣🤣
Once again you bring truth to the BS of the false light. Thank you Teal 🙏
I have felt it when a therapist says responds to me speaking about a deep trauma like "Well if you choose to go with the gratefulness in the situation". As if I was holding on to something neagtive. I feel like I need someone to witness the pain not bypassing it.
this also gets me because you might be working on being grateful all day every day, only to be told the reason you feel pain from a trauma is lack of gratitude.
when you do not lack gratitude you are working on it all day every day.
in countries where there is war idk if people are sitting around telling each other to be so grateful for the opportunity to grow that war has offered them.
instead they are witnessing and mirroring each other's real struggles and real emotions from the war and letting people get it out THEN having a dance party.
Once again Teal is multiple steps ahead of all the other self-help stuff out there. It's pretty amazing
I‘ve been following you for a couple of years now, and during that time, every video, or interview that I‘ve listened to has resonated with me.
Thank you for being and thank you for your awesome work.
Thank you Teal
Hey teal, thanks for your videos and I love your beautiful blouse, have a wonderful day❤
Is there any way you can communicate
How this one specifically was This video interesting to you ?
This is what I experienced all the time years ago when I was among "spiritual" people. I saw a lot of people accepting horrible behavior, in the name of learning or facing demons. Also open relationship stuff. But just in general always putting it back on you when in fact some behavior happened that wasn't good, or wounding.
This was a tough pill to swallow. Thank you as always Teal ❤️🙏🏼
Your the Queen! So many points that I can easily understand..."putting the shoe on the other foot"should only really come with true intentions! most think ignorance=Resilience!
You are the best! You destroy my therapist’s Advice! I feel empowered knowing that I was right about a certain situation.
You're videos are so informative and much appreciated . Thank You Teal
Teal, your videos from 10 yrs ago is just as helpful as this one from yesterday! And u look just as young and lovely. Thank you 😊
Dearest Teal, I love you, I love you, I love you so much, thank you, thank you, thank you for being voice of sanity and reason in this messed up world. I'm Brianna and literally everyone around me is Ivory, it makes me screaming inside and tears me apart, my parents have even conveniently 'forgot' (or so they claim) all the bad stuff they did to me and my brother is also telling me I'm imagining it all. It's the worst thing ever.
Teal you are beautiful!! Thank you for this great advice. I just loved this week's aesthetics!! So lovely and flowery!
At the start of the video and Teal Swan has once again got to the core it. I too used reframing in an unhealthy way and this led to me staying in bad situations/relations/experiences longer than necessary. Like anything, it is in the application of the knowledge, tool, and so on that determines a healthy or unhealthy outcome.
Tael’s impersonations of these example situations are getting better everytime 😂 method actress in the making
Love the new background! 😍🌿☘️🩵
Thank you so much Teal Swan✨✨
Gaslighting, that's exactly the false memory by Elizabeth Loftus‼
FACTS!!! I experience this in my family. The codependency and scapegoating is endless with my ex-family bc it is traditional to always put the "mother" on a pedestal regardless of how they treat them
Great video. This is something I have always struggled with, in the area of friendships and relationships. I try to reframe/gaslight myself out of unpleasant or "unloving/uncaring" feelings that are actually a legitimate response to certain words/behaviours. Not helped by important people in my life telling me that maybe it's a childhood trauma response, maybe I could work through it by being more spiritually enlightened, maybe it's my monthly hormones, maybe I'm "just nuts". Therapy has helped me to see that my feelings are a direct response to situations.
As a teacher myself, reframing can be a powerful tool to get out of a negative spiral and into inspired action. But indeed if it is used as a coping mechanism to not do any action at all, then it is a recipe for destruction. (as with all things used as a coping mechanism). The title should be: "8 Hidden Dangers of Reframing Your Thoughts IF used as a coping mechanism". Love ya Teal, keep doing your amazing work :)
Thanks Teal. I'm dealing with anger issues since last couple years an this helped me a lot today.
Thank you Teal for speaking the truth. As a psychologist so important to be aware of these facts so we don't contribute to more pain
Teal you helped me years ago see a tough situation in a different light, I love your elphet and Thankyou 💜
It is so important to sit with the problem a bit, to release it and accept it. Then rewiring your brain starts. That's healing.
Much appreciated this. It so resonates with me and my present situation. ❤🙏
Teal’s ‘transcendent’ persona was spot on!! 😂. Thanks Teal, the laugh is very healing ❤
Thank you so much.
Guilty of almost all you mentionned. I will watch everything you recommended. That's something I seriously want to work on.
Have a good week ❤ and thanks
This was a great video. What I find confusing is that my understanding had been that a lot of shadow work seemed to my mind to involve reframing. So if your shadow was anger then acknowledging and seeing how anger can help/he protective which feels a bit like reframing? The same for some of the tools for overcoming shame which involve learning to see the positive in the thing you're ashamed of, which again feels like reframing. It's very possible I'm misunderstanding these terms though.
Thank you for your work. The Anatomy of Lonliness has been so good for me!
ThankU hmm Watching this leads me to think reframing is not something I use. Denial i am familiar, and am finding it wrenching to remove denial. I was taken by your words on gaslighting, conscious vs unconscious. You asserted that we can never be sure of what's true. Are we then perpetually in doubt. Reality is quicksand. I noticed good scientists always say: More research must be done
Very good contribution! Tx teal!
Wow.. this is one of the best videos on Earth.. thank you so much Teal for sharing out these advices.. you help people for real 👏👏💚
IMO the most brutal but honest reframing is that life _is_ a zero-sum game. I mean, ultimately, there is no reward and no punishment at the end of it. After you die, you die; and it is for you as if you never existed (-- Alan Watts). To me, this is the ultimate spiritual liberation one can have. Meaning, if you believe otherwise, you are bound to suffer.
BTW this is also _the_ cessation of all denial.
You may want to read The Elephant and the Blind" by Thomas Metzinger on this matter, especially chapter 17.
(The book is free to download in the PDF format)
Admittedly, this is also what Metzinger calls a toxic epistemic state (defined as "any form of knowledge or insight that threatens the biological fitness of an organism, its individual reproductive success"). But he also makes the observation that "An epistemic state that is toxic from a biological perspective may be seen as a healing or liberating form of insight from a spiritual perspective".
Ty again for ur amazing way of bringing forth thought provoking awareness much gratitude❤
Thanks teal this has been an ongoing ponder 247 in my mind
Thank you so much for this!!
❣️obviously, you have mastered the shadow side of humanity. Brilliant work ty
SO DEAD ON. Every word. And yes there are those "movements" that encourage forgiveness above all else. TERRIBLE.
In 1978 a wonderful book came out by the psychiatrist M. Scott Peck, M.D. based on 35 years of his work. It was the first to focus on this line of thinking.
Page One "Problems and Pain
Line one :
"Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it."
Get the book if even to read just the first chapter, "Problems and Pain"
He says by not dealing with your truth, your pain, and pouring on layers and layer of escapes (as Teal says "reframes") emotionally you get worse.... period.
This is great Teal. SO essential for people to get what you are saying.
Teal you look so stunning in this. Love and appreciate you!
This is genius 💫
Great video. I’m glad someone can see the danger of reframing.
Wish I could like this more than once! Brilliant as always Teal 🙏
Thanks for this Teal, a million thanks, 😢, I needed this video❤
Wowza❣️ this is a biggie! I see so many participating and something felt off to me when I had first learned of the idea. I've also had friends, well meaning, say that I needed to look at my situations through different lenses or they wouldn't be looking at a situation as I am. Thanks for always showing us all sides to these glorious fixes 🙏💜😜
0:00 💡 Reframing changes our reality by altering our perspective on thoughts, emotions, beliefs, or situations.
1:02 📉 Reframing can be used as a coping mechanism, potentially keeping us stuck in negative situations.
1:55 🏢 Example: Melanie uses reframing to cope with a miserable job, avoiding necessary life changes.
2:43 👫 Example: Zoe's therapist uses reframing, causing Zoe to stay in an abusive relationship.
4:10 🌪 Denial through reframing prevents addressing and accepting the reality of a situation.
5:00 ✈ Example: Denial is like ignoring a low oil pressure warning on a plane, dangerous and ineffective.
6:22 🏰 Reframing can create an "overlay," a false reality that detaches us from actual reality.
8:03 👥 Reframing can harm relationships by invalidating others' experiences and causing emotional isolation.
10:09 🧘♀ Example: Avery's spiritual reframing invalidates Briana's pain, damaging their friendship.
12:09 🌈 Toxic positivity, a form of reframing, rejects difficult emotions and prevents authentic living.
12:58 🚧 Bypassing uses reframing to avoid facing and healing from painful feelings and unresolved wounds.
13:54 🎭 Reframing can lead to gaslighting, making oneself or others question their reality and personal truth.
15:12 ⚖ Reframing can oversimplify complex situations, leading to black-and-white thinking and loss of nuance.
Totally nailing it every time. Thank you.
You look so beautiful! The flowery blouse looks gorgeous on you 😍 Thank you for your shared insights 🤗
Agreed 🥰
🙋🏼♀️ …The only thing I haven’t reframed out of my life is my dog!😂 …I will work on this lol
Thank you✨
Ahhh this is so good. I can’t think of any other material I come across where I am like, yes. You really do swerve through the tunnels and examine all of it, and even pull back to examine that. And.. it’s practical, and not overwhelming and you’re just right. I am so used to picking up parts and pieces and the more these videos evolve in time the more I am like, yes. I feel like it can be so unpopular or even causing a lot of reflection but when I hear you it’s hearing my notes verbalized and, yes. Thank you for this particular content, and the references to bypassing, and other spiritual traps. And non spiritual. Dammit I hate understanding this- I’m not sure why. It makes me feel alone somehow? Like yes why is everyone doing this?? But, I’ve watched myself move through all these things and still catch myself in them so really I’m not alone at all. Great video.
I love Teals wisdom and style ❤
PS In thinking about this subject, I realized that people are given this concept to shield them from the harsh realities of life, this is wrong on so many levels. Overcoming challenges, obstacles, problem solving, developing strength of character, and many other life skills are all needed to survive and to thrive. We grow as a person as we face challenges, not hiding behind re-framing as a scared child looking to avoid/run away from the school bully one more time. This creates weak, passive, easily manipulated people, ripe for an abusive/toxic person to use & abuse, and worse yet an authoritarian government to do as they please!
Omg, thank you
Thank you for reminding us that nothing is black and white, and to always consider your own boundaries and needs when challenging your thoughts.
I liked how you reframed the actual video compared to previous ones. ❤
Good morning Teal.
I will listen now.
How do I reframe my reframe, lol! Thank you, Teal, for this. You have been my rock throughout my entire Kundalini journey. You have always encouraged me to view shadow and light as one and to understand that they go hand in hand.
Funny enough (because we don't live in a simulation... right?!) I have been trying to "convince" my partner of this topic and how it affects our relationship, with no success, obviously. I am so happy that you released this video on this topic today. It really helped to ground my perspective that has been tainted as of late. Love ya! - Chantelle
Very good insight. Thank you for sharing.
Nice background teal ❤. The quality of this video is way better
Bravo,Teal! You are my idol! Thank you! 💖
Thank you so much🌹💐🙏
Wow.. that last one hit me hard in a good way. "... But you will find that over the course of your path of healing and expanding, there are plenty of helpful thoughts and perceptions that don't exactly feel good". I've experienced that several times as well as recently, like a thought being "helpful" and maybe sometimes working but other times not working so much and being also far from my personal truth. In general this whole theme of the video about reframing... It's exactly like that... It can indeed sometimes do more bad than good especially if you're in a situation where you're always finding yourself reframing cause there's "no other way" and the other person "knows that much so they can't do otherwise" and all of this mentality "it's an opportunity to face and overcome XYZ"... Well yeah... In a certain extent maybe... Because.. what about boundaries? What about truths that need to be told? Decisions that need to be made cause a situation is unworkable? I recently had again a situation like this where I felt I was being violated and needed to communicate some truths and some boundaries and once again I got the advice to kind of reframe and act "that way" where instead what I needed to do was to f*kin acknowledge the situation and actual behavior of the other person and speak my truth and protect myself and act "this" way. Which I eventually did. But until then..... Oh gosh the torment.... So thank you Teal.. so much .. 💗 You are amazing, thank you so much for being here ✨🌻🌊 greetings to everyone 💕
You look beautiful on this one Teal ♥️
This is the most eye opening video I've seen in years... 🤯
This is brilliant Teal