Beauty is a gift from god and if anybody abuses that, just walk away from those people, they’re not worth your time. End of. But if you’re a beautiful person, you will be treated the same way regardless of your looks. People in their right mind don’t give a f*** about how anyone looks. Anyone who does is seriously messed up so keep the f away from them.
Yeah as a man I usually don't interpret being nice as flirting though. To me it seems just like human decency, why would I be mean or rude to you without reason? But I think I've probably missed out on a few relationships by ignoring that women will flirt by being nice, or at least some will, I have found out a few women later liked me but I just didn't pick up on it.
This hit hard. I stopped wearing make up and dressing well because of all the attention and unsafety that came along with it. I wish I had people to talk to about this. It's very conplicated and isolating
I agree with you. It is best to be on the down low. I used to make myself look fat (little bit of cushion) when I would go through drive threw. I put my hair in a bun, as well.
As a beautiful woman, I've often tried to downplay my appearance or hold back so as not to offend others or come across as arrogant. However, I've shifted my mindset to accept myself and recognize that I deserve to show up fully, just like everyone else. Additionally, I understand that I am not responsible for other people's reactions to me.
thank you for your comment ,I totally hear this . I relate. I got fat though and i actually liked being fat because women were nice to me , and men took me more seriously . Like you though i want to be me and show up fully. So i hope to glow up again. My pretty is hidden under flab and frumpy . Sod people . i will show up who i am meant to be .
I suffered for years in silence. And as a beautiful woman, you have no right to complain. I was confused for all of my 20s and 30s because I didn’t understand people’s behaviours. This is enlightening and liberating. Thank you 🙏🏽
You didn’t suffer because you were beautiful, you suffered because you were suffering from the delusion that looks mean something and from such a intense self obsession you actually believed you were so beautiful people couldn’t cope with you. You’re just very mentally unwell and delusional. It doesn’t matter what you look like, nobody cares - nobody because how you look means nothing. If you’re a kind and loving person who treats people with kindness etc, they’ll treat you back the same way. Anybody who doesn’t, or who cares what you look like, isn’t worth your time.
@@maudyvictoria1598 Potentially yes. Intention and context determine whether it is or not. Apart from the fact that in the comment I responded to was no mention it's about telling someone you're in pain.
My wife is gorgeous and yes I resonate with a lot of what you say. She also happens to be even more beautiful inside. I am very grateful to be with her for a very long time.
Being lusted over can feel awful. In a moment of passion it's fantastic, but long term that attraction is fleeting and unsustainable. People dont stick around for lust. Having someone admire and respect your character is something else ENTIRELY. The best compliment I ever recieved was from a friend mine describing how when they met me, they liked my wit in conversation. This happened 3 years ago and I remember the moment so clearly. Being called witty flattered me in a way being called 'pretty' could never. Having your charcter complimented goes so far.
Okay. Try to imagine being on the other side of the spectrum and being completely invisible to everyone you would like to start a relationship with. Picture that no one finds you attractive. I knew a girl like that and it is a fate worse than death.
Yeah I told my girlfriend that I loved how honest she is, and how good she is with money, and how you can really rely on her for anything. I could easily give her $5K and know she will make wise choices with that money, that she will be fair, and that she isn’t materialistic at all. She’s the first woman to give me money herself, and she’s from the Philippines (she comes from a modest background), but I respect her so much because of her character. She’s also very pretty physically. When she was a baby her mother accidentally started a fire so she has a small scar in her forehead but I would’ve never noticed it if she hadn’t told me because of the way she arranges her hair. Very good woman.
I believe this is why pretty people often bond with other pretty people in friendships. They understand this because they live it. And those that aren’t attractive will never ever believe it to be true.
@@ekaterinavalcheva9025 I celebrate and champion your extreme prettiness; I grieve that your suffering, because of it, is unprecedented, heartbreaking and traumatizing! May you find healing!
@ yup. This entire video is so healing. I remember saying to myself. Oh, these men don’t like me…. They have an image of who they want me to be and when I am a smart human and don’t cater to them…they get mean. It seems to have gotten worse. Putting language to it is helpful ….a little bit. Love to you.
@wendywilliams3962 so much love to you, too! I met a man a few years ago on a dating app, and he had the worst view of women. It brought to light a lot of what she said in this video. He said he just wanted a woman to stay thin and hot and put out. Wow.
Yup. I’m sorry this happened to you. And sad to say it’s very common!!! I don’t even date anymore. Romantic relationships with men have brought me nothing but pain. The fact that Teal has even said that beautiful women are blamed on relationship failure was spot on. People always blame me. And girl you know we’ve been doing the inner work if we’re here for this video.
It took me years to understand this! I went all of my 20's thinking that maybe something was wrong with me, because of the way I've been treated. What you said about not being hired if a woman sees you as more attractive than her really resonates...more than once I've done remote interviews and had women make a strange face at me when I turned on my camera, it's so strange that sometimes they don't even try to hide it (or can't). Sure, I'm happy I didn't end up working with/for a woman like that, but finding a job is not always easy. And, working with these types of women is usually hell.
The hiring thing happened to me!! All I was thinking about her was wow she is so polished and goals. But I just got that she hated me. It crushed me but now I own my own company ❤
It's such a weird concept to me. I'm a pretty woman and love other women , beautiful or not. I hired many women that I thought were more attractive than me, because I don't care about their looks but their skills.
So sorry to hear, hope you are happier the rest of your life. I feel very lonely and ostracised, in depression now, and looking back at my relationships and friendships - I honestly can’t see anything I did that was so wrong. I’ve been kind, thoughtful, supportive, strong for others - it seems like it’s never enough, and no one is there for me. I was and am an avid reader, studied architectural and industrial design, hard working, I’d like to think I’m a decent conversationalist, but I can’t keep friends. Maybe I’m wrong about myself. I’m 37. Anyways, I hope happiness and peace finds you. Much love from the internet ❤️🩹
I´ve someone tries hard to be liked, people usually pulling away because they feel ´needy energy´ towards them. If people are totally independent of others = self centered and relaxed, it usually pulls people in, because they can feel that nothing depends on them.
I was beautiful when I was younger. I had an awful time with relationships and never found real love with anyone. I kept getting "hit on" sure, but no "love". Part of that was up to me because I couldn't bond with any of those guys. Now I'm pretty old, I realise through the whole of my life I found honest love with my Mama, and my dog. I was so blessed by those experiences and regret nothing. But I have for certain no interest in "relationships" with men any more. That has now completely left me. I am quite content with it ! haha!
I am content also alone I was married the first half of my life. I have lived alone with animals I enjoy the mountains & lakes with my dogs. My only issue is finances I have a chronic kidney disease. One reason I don't date till I am financially set because they always call pretty women gold diggers
@@G0ETTIN That is very sweet of you. But if you are looking at my picture with my dog.. ..I don't look like that any more. It was taken 13 years ago, But thank you, and you know what? That's what my Mama would have said. Blessings to you., and wishing you a happy new year.
I never realised why some ppl treated me a certain way until i saw how they treated my sister for no reason. Being beautiful comes at price. Ladies, do not underdress, hide, or isolate. Wear it all with pride as well as your personality. HR mean to you? Escalate. Co-workers making suggestions? Escalate. A friend dismissing your feelings over bad dates? Surround yourselves with 2 good friends and leave the rest. Have your own business, employ ppl - design your life - on your terms.🎉❤
Exactly! It took me years but now I celebrate who I am. I wear both makeup (I love playing with colours of eyeshadows, it looks wonderful and brings me joy and I do it daily, without waiting for "special occasions") and my personality and my expertise with pride. And I don't expect myself to be "perfect".
They assume WE think we’re beautiful too. I’ve been told I am, but I don’t see it. So we get accused of being stuck up and cold etc if we are the slightest bit shy or withdrawn.
Well it can appear that way on the surface, but it's likely just insecurity on the part of the men. From a male perspective it's hard to assume you wouldn't know your beautiful, I mean certainly you can see what we see when you look in the mirror, and if you can you should be able to realize that, or so we think. Then again as a man, I honestly don't know what women see in men either, if I was a woman I imagine I wouldn't be very interested in dating men.
@ We end up bullied by other girls in school having minor flaws or no flaws at all pointed out or called certain names. That can cause some cognitive dissonance and some of us have issues where we hyper focus on things like zits or minor lines and only see those things in the mirror. Not by choice it’s just where the eyes go automatically. It’s a sort of mental exaggeration of what’s already there and can create a bad image. More along the lines of body dysmorphia. Seeing things in the mirror that aren’t there or that are but aren’t as readily apparent to people who see them. Nothing personal, men, but yeah I agree about women looking better. Hands down. Plus their feminine traits are much nicer, psychologically. If you’re on their good side. A man will unalive you, a woman will come in like a swarm of subterranean termites and dismantle your life a brick at a time. Pick your poison. 😂
All the beautiful girls I knew from school have had terrible lives, a few ended in suicide. I've had two relationships and was treated cruelly in both - financially, physically and emotionally. The plain girls I knew all appear to have husbands who can't do enough for them. It's a topsy turvy world. Thanks for exposing the lie that pretty women have it easy, Teal.
In the past (high school), I was considered ugly by everyone in class. I was bullied a lot because of my quietness and knowledge too. Now, I'm considered beautiful by a lot of people, and I'm lusted by men. Being in the both sides of spectrum made me realize when someone is looking at you with lust/hate because of your looks. When I was considered ugly, people often would look at me with a funny face, laughing. Now, that doesn't happen. It's worse to be ugly, but being pretty sometimes doesn't help if you're not confident or extroverted. I still feel lonely, being lusted can boost your ego, especially if you were bullied like me, but it's not love. You're just some piece of fresh meat for them. And I want to be loved, because most part of my life I felt hated.
Thank you for validating ugly people! It sucks. If I was attractive maybe I wouldn't be alone at 36 years old, have a better job, have the family I always wanted, and have friends. People don't see my heart, they see my horribly asymmetrical face. Now when I tried to enhance my appearance by working out 2+ hours a day, all they wanted was sex a few times with the lights off so they could have my body but not see my hideous face. Unless you've been physically "ugly," and unrelentingly bullied, then you have no clue
@@cindymiller7187 Exactly. Being beautiful may have it's downsides, but is still much preferable to being ugly, just as being rich has its downsides, but is still much preferable to being poor. If beautiful women really found their beauty to be such a curse they wouldn't do everything in their might to enhance it, which they do. Just as the rich man does all in his might to get even richer. And if he then complained about how hard it is to be rich he would be laughed out of the room. Similar logic applies to women who do the "woe is me for being so pretty!" routine, while wearing makeup.
@@cindymiller7187 Hi Cindy I want to wish you to have people who respect and value you in your life regardless of partnership, romantic interests or not. We humans deserve not only respect but also recognition of our bright qualities. We all deserve love. May you be healed from these pains. It's somehing very sad in this world.
Agreed. Sad that it so aptly reflected Monica Bellucci's own real life...but yes, the life of all of us beautiful women. "Closer" and "Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love" come to mind as well.
The way she walks through the town with her eyes on the ground at all times.. and yet everyone projects an idea onto her.. we never see her smile or see her true self.. it is hidden behind the false perception of the townsfolk
Wow! I have experienced everything you mentioned my whole life. I’m 40 now and still single and life is very lonely. Dating & workplace has been especially difficult. When you’re beautiful and intelligent it’s an even bigger struggle. I’m in the phase of trying to maintain my looks and it’s exhausting. Thank you for covering this topic!
@@Pure.energy10 Im a 41 year old male, and I feel much the same. Dating is just so daunting these days, and as I've gotten older its become more difficult to relate to the opposite sex in that way..at the same time, I feel like I don't have much time left to start a family but I'm so far away from it. Its tough man... Just gotta put yourself out there and give people a chance to be who you might hope them to be, a good match for you.
I didn’t know I was seen as beautiful until I was well into adulthood. Looking back, I see I was hurt a lot out of jealousy. These days, I just do what I want. I’ll use beauty to my advantage when I want to and I’ll ignore people when I want to. If people try to make me feel insecure, I just pretend they don’t exist (so long as it feels safe-sometimes you gotta pretend you feel hurt just to feed someone’s ego enough to get out of there.) I’m basically purely strategic, using different tactics on different people, and I only trust my small close circle.
I always felt icky about this convo. Even looking at these pfps, i see so many ppl whom i consider average, normally human looking? Or maybe it is me who has too high of an ideal of beauty (someone that makes me stop in my tracks basically)? Who knows.
@ I mean, I think I am averagely attractive. But I do live in NYC and there are a lot of beauties walking around. I feel more eyes on me when I’m pretty much anywhere else, save for LA. Regardless, I think most women likely experience some adverse effects from their beauty, because just like there is always someone objectively “more beautiful,” there is also always someone objectively “less beautiful.” Overall, I think it’s just unwise to place too much value on anyone’s looks. The more I mature, the more I see that beauty and attraction takes many forms. Being curious and non-judgmental, for example…SO hot.
I started moving the same way. I don’t say much and often play dumb lol. I am quite opinionated and a bit of a know it all. Been that way since childhood. In college my face dramatically changed. I was no longer average looking and cute. I was very pretty. Men and women responded very differently to me including relatives. It is a strange thing to suddenly have people stare in awe and friends subtly bullying you. I can be me 100% with my close friends & family. No need to minimize any part of myself to reduce perceived threats.
I love your strategy. Thank you. I'm very compassionate toward others, but this video finally draws a light on why people have always hated me and I've never had a close circle of girlfriends which is the one thing I've always wanted the most. Now I understand why. I thought it was the competition thing (it is), so I tried making friends with older ladies and even they push me away. Now I can say F** it and just do me. It's so annoying when men are chasing me down to "be with me", but I KNOW it's only for my looks because they never ask any good questions to get the real me.
I teared up watching this and almost couldn't watch it all. You literally summed it all up and it's so true. I was bullied relentlessly by other girls my whole life. I didnt realize until my 20s that it is jealousy. Men always say things like oh you could have anyone you want. As if thats some goal of mine. Exes have been so cruel and controlling. Thank you for bringing light to this subject. Hopefully it will make ppl more kind. When a woman tells me im beautiful i always reply with "the only reason you can see my beauty is because that same beauty is in you".
i think i might steal that reply back moving forward, compliments always make me super uncomfortable so this is a nice way to deflect. thank you for your share!
@@Kraterlandschaft I was always very naive and just thought ppl were not really mean like that. My mother was not hands on at all. I basically raised myself. Not until my 20s did a close friend explain it to me . And then everything clicked
The most beautiful woman I have ever seen in real life was also the most polite and the most patient when I decided to go and talk to her. I was on a traveling working holiday in Sydney, and I was at the beach with a group of other travelers from the UK, Germany etc. When suddenly out of the water comes this goddess, like something out of a James Bond movie. I said to my UK friend "have you ever seen anything more gorgeous in your entire life?" He looks over at her & is stunned for a moment too, then turns to me with a little laugh and says "why don't you try talking to her, see what happens". I was too drunk to understand that he was joking. Usually I'm intimidated by women on that supermodel level, but this woman was SO beautiful, that it transcended my fear and I was just enchanted - it's hard to explain. So there I was - 23 years old, about 5 or 6 drinks in me with about $100 to my name at the time - and I was fearless. I walked over to her and introduced myself, and asked if I could sit for a moment, and she said yes. But you know what is so memorable about that encounter other than her beauty, was how nice & polite she was, and her body language wasn't uncomfortable or hinting that she wanted me to go away. She didn't roll her eyes, and looked AT me the entire time we spoke...she was engaging - and that in and of it self was so refreshing. It's pretty much the only time in my life that I didn't regret striking up a conversation with a woman I didn't know.
Your ability to deconstruct things I have struggled to make sense of for 43 years is such an important gift. Thank you for continuing to share despite the plethora of obstacles you face to do it.
I've been searching for content around this topic for weeks because I've noticed an increasing hostility towards my being and couldn't figure out why. I felt so isolated as I struggled to articulate what I was experiencing. I was scouring the internet and TH-cam searching for support. I couldn't find any resources...until you posted this video. Teal, I feel so seen and acknowledged through your words. Thank you for sharing this message in divine timing✨✨ I believe that awareness can lead to healing. May every beautiful woman who reads this attract genuine friendships, healthy romantic partners, and lasting success in their life. 💞May we all learn to support and uplift one another because we become stronger and more magnetic when we can acknowledge the light in one another.
I loved that she touched on this subject because teal is also beautiful and I’m 100% sure that she is talking from her experience as well. I’ve always thought that beautiful women are walking targets from the time they are born. People wanna exploit your beauty constantly in all facets of life. Then people are confused as to why you don’t fit in society or why you can’t just exist in the workplace when it constantly attracts negative connotations.
So true. And if you look sweet, they will try to take advantage of you and if you are nice to other women, because that's what you are, they will bully you, ignore you or gossip behind your back. And if you happen to stay single for a while , because you haven't found a like-minded soul, they will say that there must be something very wrong with you. I never considered myself stunning, but attractive enough to trigger those reactions in people. Even today, since I take care of myself, eat well and I'm not toxic. I did find a good man and we are happy, but I still find it hard to make friends.
She is only average, you are projecting. Her thoughts on this are not as clinical as she would like to present it because she comes to it with the inseparable fact that she is a woman and most likely cannot separate the two properly.
This may be true about beauty but it goes for us that are unattractive too. I'm constantly desired and it's annoying because of WHAT they desire. They don't care what you look like.
It's all projection. If they think you're prettier than them, they believe you think they're ugly. Its like your mere existence is equivalent to calling them ugly whenever they see you😂
My worst catty experiences have been with straight men lol. When you are an attractive woman and you are also better than them at their job....they get really aggressive and competitive.
My ex-wife was very beautiful and it brought nothing but trouble. Getting hit on everywhere she went, whether she was alone or not, jealousy and backstabbing by other women, stalkers everywhere and harassment by police officers abusing their position to be able to talk to her. Yes, she could get MOST men to do whatever she wanted, but it came with a price.
That’s me I’m very grateful with life for being beautiful but it has reached a point we’re I get depressed at times and I get tired and it’s a curse but I’ve tried to be positive everything in life has a price I’m trying to enjoy the gift God gave me
@@sweetiepie1110 Get Mixed Martial Arts and self defense training by which you will always have an empowering dirty-little secret giving you a chuckle when your treated for you’re beauty. 👊🏽😎
Wow I needed this video to be made. I’m sick of these insecure hateful women. I can identify with having to dim my light to make you comfortable . No I won’t dim it again . I adore another beautiful woman . I look up to her and get to learn from her and admire her. Grateful not a hater and can appreciate another beautiful woman 🎉❤
Thank you, this is a never discussed subject. Even worse is pretty and smart! People do not understand the constant criticism pretty women deal with esp about ridiculous things that you cannot change like color of your eyes! You are spot on in your observations. I used to tell my ex husband he wore me like a Rolex. Actually mothers often display jealousy toward good looking daughters,with constant criticism, scapegoating. Even as you grow older this not diminsh. I am reminded of an old pop song "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife." Sometimes a stranger will comment to a parent or spouse about their pretty child,friend, etc. only for the compliment to be negatively countered or denied. People have no idea of the challenges and hurts this causes. Great video.
recently my narc mom was upset because at 70s we dont look like sisters anymore and she saw so many lines even though they been minimised with light editing. all my life i never hv female friends who dont ended up being jealous and resentful. if not in the beginning its later on after their mothers or partners compared us and told them to be more like me. men sometimes assume good looking women are bad women. there may be some but its not more than normal average people who are insecure and felt entitled or delusional 😅
My dad loved that song... I HATED it. To this day, it makes me so uncomfortable because I am a beautiful woman who would love to settle down, be appreciated, and be in a loving, happy marriage - no joy...
This. I used get complimented a lot by strangers as a child. And I come from an environment where arranged marriage was a thing at that time, I used to have people trying to arrange marriage with my mom randomly in public and I think it used annoy her so bad she would take out her frustration on me by being irritated with me. I remember my mom slapping me in public after being complimented by a stranger and she said it’s because I was licking my lips. I was 8 or 9 I didn’t know anything about being suggestive at that age. I dreaded getting compliments from grown up because I knew I’d be punished for it.
Even as a toddler, I would have people coming up to my parents and exclaiming, how beautiful I was. That is the only positive message I’ve ever heard about myself from the public my entire life. As a now 36 year-old society, beautiful woman, I also realize that the majority of my female friends were only my friends because they wanted the competition. Now that I am aging, my choice of friends has really opened up, but in my 20s, I was a viciously hatedby other females, and only lusted at when it came to males. It really was an extremely isolating and lonely period of my life.
I sometimes had this idea that it can’t be easy since you can’t trust people especially men if they like you only For the outer appearance and then all the jealousy because of other men or from friends who wanna look like you. 😢
I had the same issue. I became a dancer (fully clothed) and the only people that were nice to me were men. I didn't care that they wanted to use me, men smiled at me, they told me I was beautiful, statuesque, stunning etc. It had its perks ,but now at 37, I deeply feel I'm losing my beauty and spend literally any money I have on my look (Botox, micro needling, laser, light cosmetic surgery, makeup) I can go two days without eating, but I'll sacrifice meals, bills whatever just to make sure I don't look old, unworthy, unattractive. Would any one even be interested in me if I didn't have beauty? (I know there's tons of beautiful women out there and don't think I'm a ten, but I definitely above average). Like who am I? No body wants an ugly woman w trauma.
my later years where my physical beauty has faded have been the happiest in my entire life, not only because of the experience & knowledge of old age but also because of the abscence of things like the jealousy ,envy & projectons of people assuming all kinds of things due to my former looks..so relaxing & effortless..blissful🔥💥🎉💖thx for speaking on this rarely adressed issue🙏🏼👍🏼🙌🏼
@@expectingthebeach2368 All the social media and the cosmetics industry brainwashes men and women into believing that aging is bad manners and can be avoided if people undergo the necessary nips and tucks for maintenance. I'm older woman too and it's nice not to get stupid comments about one's appearance from strange men in the street any more - very liberating indeed! I'm glad I grew up in a different time when people didn't have access to cheap plastic surgery and Botox and we just had to make the most of the features we were born with and young men and women didn't go around like shiny Ken & Barbie dolls. What a strange species we are! Putting on make-up to conceal flaws is one thing but to go and reconstruct one's features on an ongoing basis is something else!
I don't think she is rare. It has been my personal experience and it was the experience of the women I knew growing up. Most, in my family were Christians. Women were happy, satisfied and self- reliant in their 50's and up. They did not want a relationship with a man (other than those married) and they had learned not to care what others think. I wouldn't fear aging. I've kicked the arses out and I am finally able to relax and be myself.😊
Thank u Teal. People tell me I can get everything with just a smile. People think life is easy because I'm beautiful. I'm single since too long. I m very lonely and I don't think people understand how hard it is.
@gunfugames7430 think of being beautiful like being a rich man. Sure it has perks, but when it comes to dating it's going to be pure hell because you will never know if they are with you for you, or for your money.
No offense but if you are attractive as you lead on, you are single because you won't settle for a good average man. You are looking for an above average relationship that equals or is more than your success. No doubt you aren't lacking in male attention, it's just the male attention that you are looking for is the attention you aren't getting. Now if there is trauma that you experienced, then that's a whole other discussion, but basically if it's good looks and success that you have, you will experience what I explained earlier
@@sagehawk12 The average man does not get the kind of attention the average-looking women get. Tinder statistics prove that, empirically. The average man gives up on dating because women are always looking out for the top 10% of successful men.
I was a fat kid, then in my late teens, early 20s I developed an eating disorder (bulimia) and became slim so I was very attractive for about 10 years until I stopped throwing up and became heavy again. So I've seen both sides. During my attractive years I met, married and divorced an abusive man. Now I'm just alone, people act like they don't see me, so out of the two extremes I would prefer being slim and attractive because people are much friendlier to attractive people. I did get mocked and treated like I was stupid when I was attractive - but that's far better than being overweight because people act annoyed that you even exist.
@lightworker2956 and it you are attractive and aren't enjoying it, it's really easy to make yourself not fit into conventional beauty standards and this be unattractive.
Thank you for talking about this taboo, never-acknowledged phenomenon. This has been my entire experience with every person I've ever known. Even family. It's truly hellish. And the illusion that the world is under about how easy beautiful women have it makes it exponentially harder. Ugh...and then the automatic silent judgment as though we're snooty or crazy when we don't have a "friend circle" or close family ties is also another layer of fuckked-up-ed-ness. People are always trying to be that one person to knock us down a peg or two...not realizing that is how everyone already treats us. It's f-ing brutal and it's neverending. From both men and women.
@@neptuneenergy123 You are confirming everything Teal just spoke of. Widen your scope, cultivate some empathy, stfu if you can't be a kind person to someone baring their pain.
@@neptuneenergy123 the truth is the truth and unadulterated. if you really wanna tell me i'm feeling sorry for myself I can share how my own mother prostituted me or more fun trafficking stories, but maybe you've seen SVU and Taken, so you know all about it, yeah?
I'm so glad that you are addressing this Teal! I have wanted to comment on posts about pretty privilege but didn't because I knew I would be attacked. Everything you talk about is 100% true in my experience. When I see people calling other beautiful women a b!+ch I tell them why she appears this way and defend her. This needs to be a bigger conversation out there for the sake of mental health.
I am a beautiful woman. I actually have a modelling and music/entertainment industry career behind me. I always identified more with my soul and brains. I started dating early on as a teenager much older (and ugly) men because I believed they would be more mature and would know more about valuing one’s inside. They were all awful human beings but I only discovered this when their initial theatre would give way to who they truly were. They ALL abused and cheated on me and tried to destroy me when I finally walked away while everyone around believed I had used them and I was some black spider type of woman. I only found peace when I met a gorgeous same-age man. This guy is truly model-like gorgeous, Viking-looking, mixed martial arts and I was like hmmm we saw the ugly ones were not it so why not try? I rode into the sunset with him and I found (and continue to find 8 wonderful years later) that he was the ONLY ONE who knew about valuing what’s inside and didn’t see me as a trophy. He had been the trophy in his past relationships with women who cheated on him (yes they cheated on this model gorgeous guy with ugly men) and tried to break his spirit. So I guess this is the way to go: beautiful women, find yourself a beautiful man, he is the only one who understands us 😂
Thank you for this spin on things.. it actually does restore my faith as I married a man not that attractive and assumed it meant he'd treat me well and cherish me.. then he abused me to extreme levels and demanded I support him become polyamory with women he already started things with - when our baby was just born. I divorced him thank god and have been single ever since.. scared of being hurt again.
Thank you for sharing and it makes a lot of sense. I also thought the same way. Dated the ugly guy and was treated that way. I never thought I was beautiful bc of childhood but seen people use me or try to belittle me. Now I hang alone for my peace but if I date in the future I will date someone on my level. Thanks for sharing and happy you are in a healthy relationship.
@@rosieeye6812 once everyone realizes WE ARE ONE… things will shift. 💙🙏🏻 When you judge or attack another,,, you are attacking yourself. Hence “division” being our nemesis. UNITED WE STAND,,, Etc…
@@rosieeye6812 Your perfect love story is still waiting to be written. Don't give up hope ❤️ don't dim your light. Keep showing up, shine your light! ✨
Wow! This really resonates with me. I know it's a bit personal, but as a naturally curvy woman who developed early, I faced similar challenges in the workplace. Many women were unkind, excluded, and dismissed me solely because of my appearance. At first, I was hurt and confused. It was an older colleague who offered a surprising perspective: they treated me poorly because I was beautiful. It took time to understand, but he was right. In an effort to fit in, I hid my curves under lab coats for years. Thankfully, I eventually gained confidence and became a manager, determined to be a better leader than those who had mistreated me. Thank you for sharing your story. It means a lot. ❤️🌹
I don't think the "hate" you experienced has anything to do with being naturally curvy (whatever that may even mean or be) or your appearance in general. Truth be told, most women hate other women per default (without the majority of them being aware of that). It may or may not be related to your appearance, unless they told you, it's probably just that you've (!) assigned this one cause to the particular effect. And even if they told you, that may not necessarily be the real reason and they've made just something up. Again, most women don't know why they hate or envy other women; it's a psychological program that drives it rather than specific reasons.
@sailor1921 Women know exactly why the despise other women. And if you happen to be objectively attractive, certain women will hate you just for that.
You blame your appearance for being treated poorly, but usually not the looks are to blame.... You might have been a better person, or somebody who made more effort in the workplace - believe me these qualities will make you hated amongst certain people. If you are naturally a loner it also makes you a target ... It happened to me too.
It could be more than one thing as to why you struggled but I'm sorry to hear this happened to you 😔 I'm a little on the curvy side myself and I do wonder at peoples' beliefs around that sometimes.... I think the main thing is to try your best to be kind, fair and professional, though of course you're not always going to get that perfectly right so a genuine apology when necessary is extremely helpful. Props on you for becoming a leader and best of luck 🙏
Im not a beautiful woman and I have been treated in similar ways a few times. Of course I understand perfectly the dehumanization that comes with being fat and not beautiful, it's absolutely painful and alienating. However, it was good to hear this, because that just makes me think about what we have in common as women and how we should start having the wholesome conversations instead of throwing ourselves into each others throats. Shouldn't be a competition, we get different sides of the same rotten coin.
I love this!! I try my best to bond with woman period. And it amazes me how much other women hate on each other. I fell for it too as a teen and wanted to be “ one of the guys” but I soon realized that men wants us separated. Because the more we are separated the more they can have power over us!!! Power to you sis ❤
@@missymartin8125 Sorry lass, you got that wrong, women are mean to other women because that's how women compete, it has nothing to do with what men want. I can tell you what men want from women (and rarely get!): peace and quiet. To have nearby women embroiled in drama is literally the last thing any man wants.
I bursted into tears hearing you, finally someone understands and says it so well. And I was attacked by my own mother and other ppl in my life, telling me it’s my own arrogance and paranoia that I read into things when I am on the receiving end of micro aggressions. Yes, I have been gaslighted. All the toning down, adjusting my outfit, manners, being cold to fathers while I pick up my kids from school- to avoid unwanted attention from them and micro aggression from their partners, because I am a single mom who is attractive and happy.
We all receive micro aggressions. For whatever reason. It doesn't have anything to do with attractiveness: It's just nature. People are aggressive to each other in different ways and for unendless many different reasons. In your case it may be beauty. If you were ugly it would be because of ugliness. So stop thinking nonsense. If life has given you lemons, make lemonade out of them.
@@gunfugames7430 ...until they realize that's why they've been treated badly in the same ways by so many. THEN we start saying the TRUTH. This video is clearly about people like you and how y'all treat us. So frfr, you can just fork right off.
Thank you Teal for your message. With a spiritual awakening a couple of years ago I got to understand that beauty also makes people pause, observe and listen. Now I own my beauty more than ever and shine my light as brightly as possible. I’m 46 and feel beautiful inside and out, strong, resilient and also soft, receptive and so so accepted and loved. Because I have learned to accept myself radically and love myself unconditionally. The outside is now a resonant reflection of the inside, and I experience so much ease, joy and abundance. Of course there are ups and downs, but there is choice and spaciousness. I don’t see people as rejecting me anymore. I see doors opening through the magic of redirection from the universe. Wishing you all much ease, joy, love and peace ❤
Good for you, I had my spiritual awakening, too. That's a hard thing to accomplish, and I'm proud of you!🎉 good for you, ik you're going to keep kicking ass in life. stay beautiful, my friend ❤
Even men can resent a beautiful woman because she is prettier than his girlfriend, or because he has to accept that the beautiful woman puts him in the friend zone, ETC. Beautiful women don't have it easy, they have to look for a support network they can trust and avoid being alone and isolated, which can make it more difficult.
yep there's comments in here about it! how "any woman who calls herself beautiful isn't really beautiful" you have to be HUMBLE while we treat you like your beauty is the only thing that matters. like if I'm good at math I can say I'm good at math it's a proven statement, but I can't share that when I was 30 and working with the public I was called beautiful 15+ times a day? imagine being praised for something all day every day and also not being able to say you are that thing it's bananas.
@ exactly!!!! Omg it’s infuriating and it’s wrong. I really am so grateful she had the courage to say this because of that because I’m sure people will say the same about her.
@@kyleydiamondThe truth is, being beautiful and also being top of the class is hell! You can't say you're beautiful AND you can't say you're intelligent either, while at the same time getting compliments on your physical appearance AND excellent grades or feedback on a daily basis. The only thing that you're allowed to do in such circumstances is hiding and keeping a low profile, or your classmates/ colleagues will tear you apart. And at the same time, you're encouraged and even pressured to be pretty and to perform! Yet if you do both and exceed this society's expectations in both fields, you get a ticket to hell. This leads to a level of rejection and isolation which, in addition to the insanity of this twofold double bind, can have the most terrible consequences on your mental health.
I have both - I've been ostrazised for being ugly and beautiful. I was always beautiful until puberty hit early, I got a bit chubby and developed severe acne that has left deep scars. I've been bullied for that and for being the weird silent kid that was different. I was not valuable. Then in between that I got my acne under control people thought I was beautiful but no one really wanted to be my friend except the outsiders who struggled with exclusion also for being weird. Today I am the most beautiful that I have ever been, and people value me a lot more today, but not just for my looks, today also for my kindess. But not many know who I truly am, they always get suprised by my thoughts and life choices. My point is I think I entered life to experience both of the contrast and shadows of being "ugly" and "beautiful", inside and out. It has been tough, I just never made the connection of experincing both until this video.
🙋🏻♀️ you have choices, set your standards high and become an Eagle spirit🦅 it’s very challenging but your life even in sadness will be satisfying and fulfilling💯🪅 the road less traveled is not for the masses, enjoy your individuality and celebrate life by ‘Random acts of kindness’ and forgiveness👍 “Let go or be dragged” 🪄😉
O.M.G. B.I.N.G.O!! 100% I don't even see myself as beautiful, but I'm told that I am...and I have been alone for 15 years. Before that I was married...I left when I realized my husband didn't love me. I had NO IDEA I was a "trophy wife" for him, because (again) I don't see myself that way. Or, I didn't. After so many years on my own...I realize I've been living this life just as Teal describes. I never saw myself as a prize, because I've been rejected and often literally hated on sight, my whole life.
To all the beautiful women watching this video, let’s get together and make this planet a more loving and beautiful place for everyone. By the way, you are beautiful, magnetic, kind, intelligent, loving, rooted, dedicated and you deserve the best. Shine bright 💎✨ your beauty may come with a price, but it’s up to you to use beauty as a tool to do goodness, spread Love and peace. You’ve got this 🙌 We’ve got this!
My mother and I have both gone through this our whole lives. I have so much more understanding of my mother now. I just want to hug her. I have experience some jealousy from my very own mother toward me as well. I experience my own jealousy toward other women. The only thing that helps me with that is to ask them questions about themselves. The one thing I respect so much in a woman is the inner work she has done. And I love these conversations amongst women. Thank you so much to you for bringing this topic to the surface.
Thank you for making this video, there was a study that was done that attractive people actually have a harder time making friends because like you said being loved and being lusted over are too very different things
thank you for covering medical care!!! I have been going through this for 10 years now. i jjave actualy had (female) counsellors laugh in my face at the idea that i would need mental health support. and i have had male GPs approach me with hostility and mistrust before i had even finished explaining why i was there. i have been accused of faking my symptoms, i have been accused of making too many appointments and, my most recent example, an emergency responder told me to cuddle up in my bed and sleep off a panic attack. when the "panic attack" was actually in response to real side effects I have having to a medication that was causing me to loose control of my body whilst throwing up, making it a dangerous situation for me to be in while alone.
I have literally had enlarged glands showing from under my skin and been told they "don't see what I'm talking about." People don't believe me, but the contempt is real.
Hey there- I understand this very real struggle about not being taken seriously by doctors. I’m 11 years into my health struggle and still am not being taken seriously. I started a TH-cam to share my struggles. I look crappy in most of my videos, although my pretty privilege has come and gone over these years I have been incredibly ill with Reactive Arthritis. I have embraced looking like crap recently so I’d be left alone by folks who mistake my kindness for other than just being friendly.
I have a medical issue that causes chronic pain and gives me migraines and nerve damage.. it’s actually considered a disability and is progressive.. yet I look healthy and I’ve learned to be strong and keep a positive attitude. Some drs, massage therapists, and my family are beyond dismissive… my family considers me lazy. When it comes to beauty I get so many mixed situations.. some people overly compliment me, get clumsy, obsessive, or go the other way and are mean and try to tear me down. I look unique and I know not everyone thinks I’m beautiful, but it’s just so lonely and confusing to live like this.
Wow, I feel this video on every level! I’m 42 now but have experience so much hate, envy, jealousy from both men and women most of my life. Deep down we know it’s jealousy but being beat down for years on end has definitely destroyed my self esteem. The worst I was ever treated was by married men at a job I was at for 11 years because I didn’t want them! followed close behind were the married women who worked there.
OMG! Thank you for this, I'm 48 and ALL of my relationships have been so painful and abusive, and the fact that I could tell everyone just wanted to use me in some fashion but I was belittled if I tried to speak my truth. Such a painful, lonely existence.
@actuallyican4250 sounds like a you problem.... don't blame your appearance, if you were a really beautiful person on the inside people would be nicer to you
Me too. Abused from parents to ex husband, to schoolmates, to girlfriends, to colleagues, to grandparents, to virtually everyone. Then, people think you deserve abuse, wanted it, or disbelieve you! The abuse has been never-ending. I now have a retired teacher friend who has made me finally realize I was a true package of beauty, talent (artist) and intellect - and in my 70 years never put it together!
@@meeow2165 That's me too. Down to the particular package deal. I'm so sorry. I hope you can fully embrace those wonderful things about you now. Even if it took forever to get here❤
Wow 🥺 I thought I was crazy until you put it into words. You touched on many deep fears, struggles and insecurities I have. I’ve claimed my beauty as a curse after endless failed and horrible relationships. I’ve done everything to “hide” or become less noticeable, less threatening, less desirable, less nice, less skinny, less dumb, less dependent, and really just anything to make me feel safer. Also while knowing I have been a victim over and over, I still refuse to be that or let those take my power away from me. I have found forgiveness and compassion to those who have hurt me. I have desire to truly gain an understanding of men and build harmonious relationships thru the work of Alison Armstrong. But this video really highlighted the areas I feel are still programmed in me to feel safe and actually loved. Great awareness and power to change with it. Thank you soo much teal for all your valuable content. 🙏 ❤
Me too, my whole life I have modified my image/behavior to strive for the balance of being pretty enough to be loved because that's what I learned people wanted, and also not being threatening :/
This is way I used to avoid beautiful woman before ai met my wife, I had horrible experience and now I with a not that beautiful woman and I'm the happiest men on earth, thank for providing that beautiful woman in general are a big red flag. You want to know how hard life is, come and join me on a day of am average men, you won't make it.
I've experienced what your talking about Teal. Its a weird un pleasent feeling in my neck and upper back to get put down just because some one else thinks your prettier than they. Sad day that people feel like that. I love you all! I love you Teal!
I’m crying right now bc I can’t believe u spoke on this this week. I’ve literally been bullied SO much for being pretty actually, & then if you’re happy omg you have a target on your back. Going thru this at work right now. Thank you for bringing light to this. I want to start a “pretty girl” charity to bring light to this matter. The amount of pain I’ve had from women and men due to this is insurmountable. 😢🙏🥰♥️ You’re the best!
This is why I have multiple jobs, creative outlets, hobbies and expansive interests. My lifestyle protects me from miserable haters, as well as my supportive family, friends and associates. Through my activity I have the energy to full my optimism. Haters want to say and do things to bring you down but using optimism, excitement etc as tools ensures optimal transmutation.
Sorry to hear about your issues. My eyes have been opened now. I'd support a form of social program for this. However, be aware about the perception on a charity like that based in what Teal just said. "Oh look at the poor beautiful women now wanting more..." could be one of the remarks. Good luck out there!
Thanks Teal. My life. No partner at 55, chased by egos all my life, everyone has a reaction to you. Making myself small to be accepted. Not chosen to be friends.
"Making myself small to be accepted. " Yes... Sadly, yes. But Im done with that tbh. I need to live my live to what it could be and I think you should do the same 💖.
I solved many of these problems by gaining weight, it took me off the menu for many men and made the women not view me as a threat. They felt safe leaving me alone with their men. Now that Im older and wiser I am all about healthy living. Glad to find this video, thanks. It needs to be said. ❤
I was thinking the same thing: if being pretty was as problematic as she claims that it is, why don’t you see beautiful people trying to make themselves less attractive? That almost never happens. Granted, there are a few people who will go out of their way to make themselves even less attractive than they already are as some kind of protest against the patriarchy or whatever (but, to be brutally honest, most of these people were not that naturally attractive to begin with), but most women who are naturally beautiful tend to spend a large chuck of their money and time trying to enhance and maintain their beauty, not diminish it. The beauty industry is a multi-million dollar industry for a reason. This implies that the privileges that come from being beautiful obviously outweigh any drawbacks.
That’s sad. To diminish oneself for the comfort of others. But seeing the comment above mine trying to humble you as they usually do makes me understand even more why you came to that decision. I hope you get to a point where you feel comfortable living your life out loudly and not caring about the meanies of this world because we only get this one life. I see you.
@@randyg22152 Randy staaap it. Everyone’s experience and response isn’t the same don’t expect her to live her life in a way that’s most usual for you. You are attempting to humble a woman in a video that addresses this very issue you are displaying by denying her experience because according to you she’s not as she experiences herself and life. Stop it!
@ you missed my point. I wasn’t saying that you should diminish yourself; I was simply pointing out that obviously being pretty has more advantages than disadvantages, as evidenced by the fact that most people constantly try to improve their appearance. If it was so problematic to be pretty, then people would spend their time and energies elsewhere. Being pretty gives a person social status and soft power over others, as evidenced by the fact that pretty people get better treatment than unattractive people do wherever they go, and pretty people have more opportunities thrown at them, where unattractive people have to struggle for everything, even simply acceptance or decent treatment by store clerks. But it is what it is. I understand that everyone has problems, and pretty people are no exception, but I am tired of people trying to get attention and special treatment by playing the victim. Life is hard for everybody, not just for you.
@ interesting how condescending your straw-man argument is. You hope that I finally accept myself? Who said that I was not comfortable in my own skin? You? Most people WOULD be comfortable in their own skin if they were not constantly being put down and labeled as “creepy” for simply existing by the hot people. If someone is unattractive, everyone else will let you know that you are less attractive then they are whether you asked for their opinion or not. An unattractive person is unwelcome wherever they go, and is usually harassed by everyone around them simply for being present, and constantly reminded that they are unwelcome. You don’t have to diminish yourself for others, but you should not diminish others just to feel better about yourself, either.
My good friend cut me off cos her ex boyfriend liked me. She haven't invited me for her wedding. 2girls from highschool were triggered that I had attention with wearing outdoor clothes while they had party dresses. The whole time I had no often seen me as very attractive since I never put any effort into my body frame. Being a woman is such a confusing when teenager. What a healing journey
It’s different for women and far harder for men. We have women that are below average thinking they’re tens. Maybe if more people practiced stoicism things would be more on the right track. Unfortunately I don’t believe women and stoicism mix well.
@@jaynebarry5658 gotta love how you tube deletes comments that are facts. An average or below average woman has it easier than a man that’s above them let alone below. The problem is these women believing they’re tens when they’re not. “A particularly beautiful woman is a source of terror. As a rule, a beautiful woman is a terrible disappointment.” A quote that is correct to this day from Carl Jung.
Thank you, Teal. You are spot on! Everything in life has a contrast. We chose our bodies or avatars because we knew which experiences and lessons we wanted to pursue. But there is a good side and a bad side to everything. Being attractive when you are young gets you a lot of attention you didn't have to work for and don't want at first. As time passes, you realize many women are jealous of you and, thus, don't like you and may try to harm you somehow. Different people will react in various ways. I responded to female aggression by becoming a people-pleaser. So, not only did I have people projecting on me (instead of helping me to discover my personality), but I also had narcissists and people who prey on wounded empaths. When I hit my mid-forties, I started freaking out because I thought I was losing one of the only good things about me. How sad is that? I still struggle with aging. It's a great lesson to have something so powerful and then to lose it. Now I'm 47, and I know my youth is gone. I feel nostalgic about it, but I know myself better now and love who I am. I didn't have a chance to develop love for myself when I was younger. I was too busy trying to play the big role I signed up for. Now, I'm playing the role of a middle-aged woman, and I love it. It's so much easier to make friends; most women aren't jealous of me. It's a huge relief. I love my sisters and want to enjoy them, not have them always projecting their shadows on me. I haven't dated for many years, so I'm not sure how that will go, but I'm optimistic. I'm also grounded but very open-minded, and I can't wait to meet new people. I've noticed that when I focus on caring for and loving myself, I find myself surrounded by people doing the same. It's what I've always wanted, more than money, success, or good looks...the most valuable thing in life is having incredible relationships with people you love who love you. My advice to the young and beautiful is to get to know who you are, what you like, and what you really want out of life. Use your youth to get ahead in your career, and know that you won't always be this beautiful, but you'll be okay with it. Learn to identify more with who you are, not what you look like.
I am a man. I lost my "pretty privilege" as i grew older. The good thing about it is that i found my inner self. I was too attached to my looks and physique and reduced myself to a mere image
This was a huge eye-opener for me. Growing up I was always told I look just like Brooke shields. I was “too short” to model, and started making myself ugly with goth make up as a teenager. I always have problems with relationships with females for exactly why you said. One bad relationship after another without understanding why until I watched your video. Lots of revelations I download at your video so that I can watch it over and over again and let it sink in . Thank you for this gift.
Thank you, this is true. You just described my life and nailed the cause of my anxiety. I hope people take this seriously. All our children continue to grow up with this elephant in the room.
Thank you Teal. I have figured out a while ago that pretty privilege comes with so many downsides and have been trying to process them along the way of having those hardships. I feel so seen and validated. Thanks ❤
Everyone has their struggles and no one is exempt from suffering, even the beautiful, charismatic and wealthy. I believe the unsaid takeaway here is never look to outside validation to determine your worth.
Not like there's much chance that the only struggle of the beautiful or charismatic is to be beautiful and charismatic... when there's other genuine hardship next to the accurate effects described by Teal... well... it can easily ruin one's serious efforts to get out of serious trouble as well. Merit to pull yourself out of difficulty will more often than not just be ignored or worse , sabotaged, sometimes after years of "friendships" by the ones best knowing your vulnerabilities.
I’ve lived with these experiences my whole life. I was a BEAUTIFUL child who attracted a lot of attention. In kindergarten, I was not allowed to sit by boys on the school bus because they would fight over me. I was also “exceptionally gifted and talented,” so in junior high I was chosen to be a peer tutor for an at-risk classmate. He went on to become a sex offender, and blamed his crimes on me, because I rejected his advances. As a young adult, I was building a successful career until I was suddenly fired by my boss’ jealous wife. When I told my doctor that I was concerned about my mental health, he said “I bet you’re cute when you’re angry.” He went on to tell me that Isabella Rossellini was once his patient, and my skin was as nice as hers. I’m now 45, but look half my age, which is extremely alienating. People are even nastier now than when I was young. This life has made me wise beyond my years, which only makes things worse.
Wow, Teal. This is something I think many of us have wanted to say, but I think you need to be positioned the right way to truly make a difference. So thank you. And, to my *beautiful woman* collective, I love you. ❤ I'm honored to share this moment with you all.
Being a neurodivergent woman who is beautiful has been such a hard life. Everyone approaches me with an idea of what I should be and how I should act. But I am just me, and I've never pretended to be anything else. And it usually only takes a few seconds or minutes for people to realize this, and react with disgust and even anger at me for being myself. It's made meeting new people rather soul crushing. There's definitely been this assumption that because I am beautiful, I must be dumb, shallow, and superficial, and if not then I need to make up for it by catering to other people's whims and emotions. But I am none of these things, I am not blindly agreeable, I don't do emotional labor for random people I don't really have friends anymore, it's very true that people see me as a threat to their relationships. So it's very typical that friendships don't last more than a year or two at most. And after it's happened so many times I just tend not to go out of my way to make new friendships that I know are doomed from the start. The only exception is friendships with older divorced women who are done with men's BS, but we are at different life stages which also makes things hard. I am lucky in that I have a committed partner, he is very similar to me. It took considerable effort wading through men's bad intentions to find one who actually wanted me for reasons beyond status and sex.
The last part gave me hope. You are my hero. Thank you for not diminishing your light and not playing about your standards. You create an easier path for the rest of us, even if unintentionally.
If you lived in my area, I would definitely want to be friends. There have got to be ways for more neurodivergent women to connect and not feel so alone...
As a red head woman, and a not-too-ugly one, I felt this. I was paid much too much attention from birth, and it has given me many complexes. Most of them as a consequence to one of these topics you discussed. I tell people that I look forward to the day my hair fades and then I can also fade into society and just be me.
Omg I felt sick throughout this video, bringing back just awful memories. I don’t think I’m good looking at all but so many others, men & women do! I’m so glad I’m old now. I won’t wear makeup or dye my hair anymore, even though it makes me feel better. I don’t go out at night, I know I can’t have friends, the jealousy is surreal! So what can we do Teal? How should we handle it? How about a video on boundaries that have to be set by (so called) beautiful women?
Heavy on being socially used. I am currently working through the trauma of constant social hostility in my past and coming to terms with the fact that I have been perpetually taken advantage of and gaslit into thinking that it had something to do with my personhood. I think discussing this issue is so important for our own understanding of our experiences and how we can move forward from the way we have been treated. Hopefully other beautiful women will see this video and relate to it and begin this healing process.
@@Lady_Isabellayup. They Want you to think it’s your own fault. They have to monstrify you in everyone’s eyes to justify their meanness. That’s really what it is. It’s not your keychain, or your hair color, or your skin color, or your clothing, or your purse or your shoes or anything else that they pick on. All those petty criticisms are just cover for their jealousy and their own self-hatred. I hear their insecurities loud and clear now🤷♀️ How people treat you is mostly about themselves and very little to do with you.
Not claiming to be a major beauty of anything but I’ve often found the combination of looking nice and dressing well put together with deep insecurities about my intelligence and awkwardness tricky to navigate. I often experience two stages romantically. You get peoples attention easily and then have to watch yourself lose it. As opposed to getting it less initially but for better reasons and therefore having a less dramatic drop off rate. It starts to play on your insecurities and makes you think you only have people initially because you’ve tricked them and once they find out more about you they will go. Like is said in the video people think you’re things you’re not and you can’t live up to it ultimately.
Maybe you don't understand that beauty's impact fades away as the other person gets to know you better. Physical beauty is just a surface level aspect, so when people get to see the character of the good looking person might not like it 🤷 And it goes both ways.
@FloraChantrell Yes!! I didn't know how to string my words together to say this but it is THIS exactly!! I know I have nice features and can be attractive (though I have extreme anxiety about the way I look too, anyway) but I fear for when someone sees underneath the "beauty" is some lost, confused, stupid soul, who has no idea who he is or where he is going. Someone to NOT consider because he's messed up or something. Yes, omg, this is exactly exactly .y precise issue
People always ask me how someone so beautiful is still single... Makes me laugh in their faces. The loneliness, anxiety, and serious insecurities brought on because of being a disappointment after they kno me better is crippling some days. So I feel this for sure! Mind U, I have no friends.. Females immediately hate me and men always just want one thing. So solo dolo for me unfortunately. Keep ur head up! ❤
thanks for sharing, I relate to that too. especially I hate it when I say to people that I have a chronic ilness and they say "you look normal" because they expect me to be overweight and with acne or something, but my skin is good and I'm in shape, and they envy my clothing too from time to time.
This was profound. I was considered a beautiful child and it was so painful I literally started to sabotage my looks to make it stop. Now that I'm older I see how sad it is to dampen ones light based on the insecurity of others. I literally have disassocited from life because of this and struggle to find my way back because apart of me feels un safe completely in my body. I definitely am thankful I am only considered pretty or slightly above average now because the cost of being considered beautiful is too high. Feeling my own beauty in fact is a part of why I disassociate, it's so exquisite when i come into my body and really appreciate all of me that I'm hypersensitive to being attacked and so at the slightest hint of negativity I slip right back into disassociation. And this video perfectly explains why. I didn't get the solution though Teal. Can you expand on how to deal with this?❤
Thank you for sharing this truth. My relatives think I can have it all because I'm attractive. My little sister is jealous because physical appearance and sex are the two most important things to her in life. My mother treats me like a trophee and thinks that she made me. My grandfather used to give me the eye when he was still living and I stopped seeing him. My adolescence was hard because my mother forced me to wear clothes I didn't feel comfortable in and I had a very neglectful appearance because I was aware of how seductive I could be and had difficulty handling it. I am better now. To those who believe that "pretty privilege" exists: stop saying that life is easy for beautiful women and envying them. Physical attractiveness fades with time. Character doesn't.
One question: if being pretty was as problematic as you claim that it is, why don’t you see beautiful people trying to make themselves less attractive? That almost never happens. Granted, there are a few people who will go out of their way to make themselves even less attractive than they already are as some kind of protest against the patriarchy or whatever (but, to be brutally honest, most of these people were not that naturally attractive to begin with), but most women who are naturally beautiful tend to spend a large chuck of their money and time trying to enhance and maintain their beauty, not diminish it. The beauty industry is a multi-million dollar industry for a reason. This implies that the privileges that come from being beautiful obviously outweigh any drawbacks.
@randyg22152 You're WRONG! I can choose to look however I want. You're implying that the way I choose to look is for other people, it's not! I keep my appearance a certain way because it makes me happy. Period!
@ you missed my point. To make an analogy, listening to you complain about pretty privilege is like listening to a rich person complain about all of the problems that come from having too much money. While he may have a point, if being rich was really that problematic, then the obvious solution would be to give all of your money away and go live the life of a regular person. But there aren’t that many billionaires taking a vow of poverty and becoming a monk, so we have to take their claims of “more money, more problems” with a grain of salt, now don’t we? Likewise, most people are undergoing costly and painful treatments like plastic surgery to gain and maintain their beauty, not to lose it, and people spend hundreds of dollars each year on clothing and makeup and other cosmetics to make themselves more attractive, not less, so we have to assume that the privileges that come with being attractive far outweigh any drawbacks that one might experience from being attractive. So you are obviously lying. You look pretty because it makes other people treat you a certain way, so you ARE looking a certain way to gain power over others. I don’t blame you, but stop the cap.
@@randyg22152I hear you!! that's what I used to say. Complaining about being beautiful is really so lame, because with no makeup, plain hair and unflattering clothes, REALLY few women would still be stunning. so being beautiful is like SOOO easy to fix😂. I should know because people treat me SOO differently when I am putting efforts in my appearance vs not😂. I really cannot stand the hypocrisy.
Better to be beautiful than ugly. I understand being beautiful comes with its drawbacks, just like everything in life. We (regardless of our looks) have to develop a thick skin and made the most of it what we have got... Your mother's behaviour was awful, when she was trying to make you wear clothes you didn't feel comfortable in. Your problem is not your looks but your family. How old are you? If you are old enough maybe you can limit your exposure to your family and heal.
Very interesting video. I remember when my friends complained about "pretty privilege" in a conversation, and I was like: I don't think being stalked by a perv is a privilege. // But as seen in this video, there is a lot to it. Definitely make more of these types of videos about the lived experience of different groups 🙌
“With great power comes great responsibility”. You have a gift, and it’s sometimes going to feel like a burden. It’s like being born into a wealthy family. It can be an asset or a liability, but above either of these it is a RESPONSIBILITY. You cannot only complain about it without realizing its potential to also be an advantage. So with gratitude… carry on your spiritual growth, be smart and be kind and be unselfish, and realize that everyone has their ups and down and keep your humility. Some people would love to have what you take for granted. Nobody said life was going to be easy. To quote the Dread Pirate Wesley: “Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something”. God bless and have a great life!
Thank you for seeing me Teal. I remember being mocked by many friends growing up "oh gee it's so hard being pretty" as they'd roll their eyes. The trouble that my beauty brought me compounded into so much negativity that I'm pretty sure it led to my health issues and very unwanted weight gain. Gaining weight takes away a great deal of being perceived as pretty since it goes against the beauty standard.And while it's been great to be treated more normal and less like a threat the weight is hurting my health and I long for my old body back.. I have been doing a lot of shadow work around this and I have a very high degree of fear tied to looking that way again. But I find myself rejecting how I look now because I feel ugly though I know I am not .. I'm also afraid I'm losing out on my desires because I'm not longer that pretty. It's been nice to be seen and appreciated for my mind and talents. But average girls get looked over a lot too I've found. Discarded for not being appealing enough visually. It's like there's no win. I'm older now and I think maybe better equipped to handle the negative attention I used to get bombarded by.. but I definitely don't miss that treatment. It feels very damned if I do and damned if I don't. Pretty privilege comes at a cost and I sympathize with others carrying that burden.
So True! I've experienced all the above. It's so important for us to do our shadow work, journal, and do our inner work so that when we wake up one day and we're 60, we still have our Self worth as a Spiritual being, not just a physical one.
Let's face it. Just being a woman is hard. Whether you're ugly or beautiful, you have fo suffer and try and navigate your particular set of circumstances. May God Bless All my sisters! ❤️
Damn teal, there you go cracking another mystery. Well that explains it. I’ve been puzzled my whole life as to why my higher self opted into an ugly duckling situation. Now I see why. Thanks to that decision, I get to have the best of both worlds. Sure, my ego had to suffer tremendously prior to reaching this point… but still. It’s all worth it if in the end I’ve earned for myself a win-win. I met my husband sometime in my 20’s, right as my beauty was starting to bud (apparently a typical occurrence for people with swan spirit). That means that what he fell in love with is a certain amount of outer beauty, and a whole lot more inner beauty. It’s not my physical beauty that he’s here for. Higher self made sure I get to have the safe relationship sector settled BEFORE I start to really bloom. Smart. Now I get it. Doing that eliminated at least half of the problems listed here. I finally see the benefit of that damned choice I used to so deeply resent. Thank you wise one.
Thank you for this video. It’s been especially hard now as I enter intensive therapy and have to look back at just how awful people have always been to me. I have been depressed my entire life and no one could ever relate to me. It’s been such an isolating empty existence.
There is virtually no way to fully win in this world,like, without some downfall. If you are not objectively attractive/fitting the beauty standards, you are treated less than human, and like an object . Same if you're beautiful. And if you're more average, you're essentially invisible, which can also suck, especially if you want more attention and want to feel desired and loved. I guess all we can do is to be aware of ourselves, know what we want and who we are, to develop the ability to feel and work to achieve and allow our desires. I know most of the time it's not this simple, but I guess that's all we can do.
@@bossytruthy1573😂😂 that's one of the most ignorant things I ever read, ofc uglies are targeted and have it way worse than attractive ppl. I speak from my own experience in high school several years ago
Thank You. Thank You! Thank Yoooou!!!! For arranging the words and helping me to make sense of SOOO many things and situations throughout my life over and over, these odd behaviors and people becoming cold and hateful or being that way from the start. Even moms perceiving their daughters as a threat, being envious of any attention her daughter gets, and treating the daughter like garbage because her beautiful existence and basic human needs are such a burden. Oh and wait until the good looking daughter becomes a teen! I needed to hear this Teal. Not to shove in anyone's face. I'm rewatching this video so I can absorb it well and do some mending on the inside. I never wanted to stir up hate inside of anyone EVER.
I have experienced both being beautiful and being ugly in my life. Fairly speaking, both have their own distinguished advantages and disadvantages. However, being beautiful still makes things easier in life in terms of self-esteem, self-confidence, opportunities, and small daily things.
@@marazampariolo3200 No job can replace your self respect and integrity. Keep being you, life WILL reward you for it at some point, although it might not seem like it sometimes.
I have had nearly every experience you have described here. When I was young, I tried to talk with my mother about it...she told me I just needed to accept people will always be jealous of me. Even my mother and daughter expressed jealousy towards me. The funny part, I do not feel like I am super beautiful but I was offered a modeling contract because of my unusual look. I do believe beauty comes from inside. My presence is strong though, and people respond very positively or highly negatively, rarely in the middle. I have been burned and drowned in this society for sure.
That was so powerful. Thank you, Teal! It REALLY needed to be said. It explains so much of my life and gives me so much compassion for the challenges I've faced. The social pressures have made it difficult to even admit that I'm a beautiful woman. Thank you and Bless you!!!✨️🙏🏻❤🙏🏻✨️
Same! We're not even allowed to call ourselves beautiful or comment on the "why" we are treated the way we so often are! Bc then we're considered high up on ourselves or arrogant instead of just calling balls and strikes. It's maddening
This was so triggering and validating all at once. Beauty is most certainly a curse and so when I’m all alone is the only time I can appreciate it and look in the mirror and feel grateful that I admire what I see. People truly hate when you’re beautiful and other things that don’t fit their small minded perceptions. Like beautiful and intelligent, or talented, or kind. It’s truly sad the jealousy of others and I spent my whole life people pleasing and making myself smaller as to not trigger others ego and yet it all backfired so I just limit human interaction as much as possible now and I’m much safer. Here’s a poem I wrote years ago about my feelings towards being beautiful: On being pretty I don't speak on being attractive much But I am and very... And to even acknowledge it I might be judged unfairly And to say pretty is a privilege, Might evoke some envy But the truth is I don't enjoy it And it's Actually scary Sometimes I open up to speak But nobody hears me I'm expected to be perfect Instead of being carefree I don't receive compliments or anything That is genuine only There's always some motive That leaves me weary I may be used for ego boosts Until they finally kill me My faults are magnified and then Used against me I'm thrown inside a box Meant for restraining If I react to any of the pressure Than I'm labeled crazy Labeled shady Labeled everything But what my mother named me And The worst part is the S A B O T A G E That I can never complain about Because I'm Always hated Always baited Always used but never satiated In solitude because I’m losing patience A privilege that leaves me close to breaking
I completely get all of what what said. However, I have been both very beautiful and average (I'm older and fatter now, haha). And I have to say after being both I would definitely chose very beautiful over average. People treat you better when you look better. The struggle being beautiful has is much less than the struggle of being unattractive, even just for the simple fact of how you feel about yourself. When you look better, you also usually feel better too.
Thank you Thank you Thank you Teal. Really. Never heard anyone touch on this and it has affected me my whole life. Being outsooken and a “seer” and ve pretty to a point where women have been envious of my looks my whole life, including my own Mother, it is exceptionally healing to hear this
Yup-story of my life, thanks for bringing light to this subject. Even as an older woman I don’t look anywhere near my age so am still treated this way. Women my own age spit bullets when they discover I’m not 20 years younger than them. Thankfully I have developed a strong connection to source and my spiritual journey has given me the tools to navigate this path intact. It’s no journey for the faint of heart though and all the dynamics you’ve touched upon have caused me huge suffering during my life. I’m at peace with it now, and know my worth despite the crap others project onto me.
This is the first time I've seen anybody talking about this subject. I resonated with every bit of it. I had my beautiful daughter listen too. I'm watching her at 17 go thru some of this and it hurts my heart bc attitudes toward pretty people will never change as long as there is jealousy and envy. It's also something you can't really talk about. People be like "oh cry me a river because you're gorgeous" I'm 54 and am still beautiful but am scared and at the same time relieved that I'm losing my looks. Maybe if I'm uglier I could actually get a date! We're not approached, talked to or asked out socially unless the guy wants to boost his ego. Then he boosts it more by discarding the beautiful woman because it makes him look like he can have anybody...people are mean, cruel, jealous and up to this point nobody understood til you ms teal swan. I love u. Thank you for all that you do for the rest of us. ❤
I can't believe someone said it all, Swan, thanks so so much, everything that I wanted to say for years... Some men, too many... really treated me as a witch... They wanted me, I didn't... and they were mad... they became mean and vengeful. That part of men just scares me so so much !!! I became so scared of getting attention from the men that are in a relationship, and lose friends over that... like it happened so many times in the past... I started to dress unappealing purposely... and stop wearing makeup... and people started to ask me why I dress weird... I felt judged... and I can't even answer that question without looking like I'm full of myself... I'm single for 9 years now, I just wish I could leave this insane, unjust world... ! You are so beautiful Swan !! (... and some people will think I meant physically)
“Beauty is a trigger to the egos of other people.” Excellent sentence.
Beauty is a gift from god and if anybody abuses that, just walk away from those people, they’re not worth your time. End of.
But if you’re a beautiful person, you will be treated the same way regardless of your looks.
People in their right mind don’t give a f*** about how anyone looks. Anyone who does is seriously messed up so keep the f away from them.
@ I wish it were that easy. When people are jealous of you, they try to destroy you…you have an (unwanted) war on your hands.
Ones own beauty is also a trigger to ones own ego🦋
@@amcgee0668 👆
It's the same with intellectuality
being friendly is seen as flirting!!! THIS!!
Yes this hits hard because I thought being friendly was the antidote to a lot of all the other down sides mentioned!
Flirt.
Yeah as a man I usually don't interpret being nice as flirting though. To me it seems just like human decency, why would I be mean or rude to you without reason? But I think I've probably missed out on a few relationships by ignoring that women will flirt by being nice, or at least some will, I have found out a few women later liked me but I just didn't pick up on it.
I also feel sorry for very rich people, must be really tough to be a billionaire. People will make up any BS to play down their privilages 🤣
Its tru in high school girls chase me and i was just be nice...pretty much formal talk i didnt even try to get close from one of them...
This hit hard. I stopped wearing make up and dressing well because of all the attention and unsafety that came along with it. I wish I had people to talk to about this. It's very conplicated and isolating
♥️
Love you put you first. Dress up for you wear make up for you. Not for others.
Same
I agree with you. It is best to be on the down low. I used to make myself look fat (little bit of cushion) when I would go through drive threw. I put my hair in a bun, as well.
@@ItsJustJara i did that too for many years. I still do it now from time to time because I just don't want any added attention.
As a beautiful woman, I've often tried to downplay my appearance or hold back so as not to offend others or come across as arrogant. However, I've shifted my mindset to accept myself and recognize that I deserve to show up fully, just like everyone else. Additionally, I understand that I am not responsible for other people's reactions to me.
If anything being beautiful helps with personal development and fully loving yourself, esp once you realise how disingenuous most people are xx
thank you for your comment ,I totally hear this . I relate. I got fat though and i actually liked being fat because women were nice to me , and men took me more seriously . Like you though i want to be me and show up fully. So i hope to glow up again. My pretty is hidden under flab and frumpy . Sod people . i will show up who i am meant to be .
@@marlenakelli2696 wow, exact same experience!
@@marlenakelli2696 so true -- as soon as I gained some weight and got a little older, women stopped giving me dirty looks. So sad!
🙌
I suffered for years in silence. And as a beautiful woman, you have no right to complain. I was confused for all of my 20s and 30s because I didn’t understand people’s behaviours. This is enlightening and liberating. Thank you 🙏🏽
Complaining is unattractive in general. I avoid complaining people regardless of their gender or attractiveness.
You didn’t suffer because you were beautiful, you suffered because you were suffering from the delusion that looks mean something and from such a intense self obsession you actually believed you were so beautiful people couldn’t cope with you.
You’re just very mentally unwell and delusional.
It doesn’t matter what you look like, nobody cares - nobody because how you look means nothing.
If you’re a kind and loving person who treats people with kindness etc, they’ll treat you back the same way.
Anybody who doesn’t, or who cares what you look like, isn’t worth your time.
@sailor1921You're literally proving the point of the video
@sailor1921 is telling somebody you are in pain complaining?
@@maudyvictoria1598 Potentially yes. Intention and context determine whether it is or not. Apart from the fact that in the comment I responded to was no mention it's about telling someone you're in pain.
My wife is gorgeous and yes I resonate with a lot of what you say. She also happens to be even more beautiful inside. I am very grateful to be with her for a very long time.
Most truly beautiful women are wonderful people. Very rich inner lives.
@@TARAdubbleyuu I absolutely agree with you...
Buy her flowers every week
@@neptuneenergy123 no. Both is equally important
@@neptuneenergy123they are actually. Just because someone is less attractive doesn’t automatically make them a better human being internally.
Being lusted over can feel awful. In a moment of passion it's fantastic, but long term that attraction is fleeting and unsustainable. People dont stick around for lust. Having someone admire and respect your character is something else ENTIRELY. The best compliment I ever recieved was from a friend mine describing how when they met me, they liked my wit in conversation. This happened 3 years ago and I remember the moment so clearly. Being called witty flattered me in a way being called 'pretty' could never. Having your charcter complimented goes so far.
This!!!!🎉
Wonderful comment. I recognize the situation.
Okay. Try to imagine being on the other side of the spectrum and being completely invisible to everyone you would like to start a relationship with. Picture that no one finds you attractive. I knew a girl like that and it is a fate worse than death.
@@LeninovaPlesI also see it as freeing
Yeah I told my girlfriend that I loved how honest she is, and how good she is with money, and how you can really rely on her for anything. I could easily give her $5K and know she will make wise choices with that money, that she will be fair, and that she isn’t materialistic at all. She’s the first woman to give me money herself, and she’s from the Philippines (she comes from a modest background), but I respect her so much because of her character. She’s also very pretty physically. When she was a baby her mother accidentally started a fire so she has a small scar in her forehead but I would’ve never noticed it if she hadn’t told me because of the way she arranges her hair. Very good woman.
I believe this is why pretty people often bond with other pretty people in friendships. They understand this because they live it. And those that aren’t attractive will never ever believe it to be true.
Looking back at all my pics from my 20s, I'd say a lot were pretty or gorgeous. A subconscious thing
Your suffering is incomprehensible. Thank you for speaking your truth, with such bravery and courage!
And an less pretty person always gets jealous it’s inevitable
@@ekaterinavalcheva9025 I celebrate and champion your extreme prettiness; I grieve that your suffering, because of it, is unprecedented, heartbreaking and traumatizing! May you find healing!
@@ekaterinavalcheva9025 They are valid in being jealous, people who are pretty are treated better as a whole by everyone.
Wow. The part where people get mad at you for no reason. Thank you.
If you're beautiful you must also always be agreeable. Ugh
@ yup. This entire video is so healing. I remember saying to myself. Oh, these men don’t like me…. They have an image of who they want me to be and when I am a smart human and don’t cater to them…they get mean. It seems to have gotten worse. Putting language to it is helpful ….a little bit. Love to you.
@wendywilliams3962 so much love to you, too! I met a man a few years ago on a dating app, and he had the worst view of women. It brought to light a lot of what she said in this video. He said he just wanted a woman to stay thin and hot and put out. Wow.
Yup. I’m sorry this happened to you. And sad to say it’s very common!!! I don’t even date anymore. Romantic relationships with men have brought me nothing but pain. The fact that Teal has even said that beautiful women are blamed on relationship failure was spot on. People always blame me. And girl you know we’ve been doing the inner work if we’re here for this video.
@wendywilliams3962 I'm with you!! I've been celibate for 16 months and counting...
It took me years to understand this! I went all of my 20's thinking that maybe something was wrong with me, because of the way I've been treated. What you said about not being hired if a woman sees you as more attractive than her really resonates...more than once I've done remote interviews and had women make a strange face at me when I turned on my camera, it's so strange that sometimes they don't even try to hide it (or can't). Sure, I'm happy I didn't end up working with/for a woman like that, but finding a job is not always easy. And, working with these types of women is usually hell.
Working with 90% of women is hell
The hiring thing happened to me!! All I was thinking about her was wow she is so polished and goals. But I just got that she hated me. It crushed me but now I own my own company ❤
It's such a weird concept to me. I'm a pretty woman and love other women , beautiful or not. I hired many women that I thought were more attractive than me, because I don't care about their looks but their skills.
@@mayluz444 you’re mature and have a good sense of self
You’re speaking about my life. Is disheartening when you show up as your best for your career to be met with barely veiled contempt.
Thank you. I was a photographic and catwalk model. I’m now 70 and had the loneliest unhappy life. I’ve tried so hard to be liked. Nothing worked
❤
So sorry to hear, hope you are happier the rest of your life. I feel very lonely and ostracised, in depression now, and looking back at my relationships and friendships - I honestly can’t see anything I did that was so wrong. I’ve been kind, thoughtful, supportive, strong for others - it seems like it’s never enough, and no one is there for me. I was and am an avid reader, studied architectural and industrial design, hard working, I’d like to think I’m a decent conversationalist, but I can’t keep friends. Maybe I’m wrong about myself. I’m 37. Anyways, I hope happiness and peace finds you. Much love from the internet ❤️🩹
I´ve someone tries hard to be liked, people usually pulling away because they feel ´needy energy´ towards them. If people are totally independent of others = self centered and relaxed, it usually pulls people in, because they can feel that nothing depends on them.
🤗
@@liebingf but not if you are pretty, than you are arrogant .
I was beautiful when I was younger. I had an awful time with relationships and never found real love with anyone. I kept getting "hit on" sure, but no "love". Part of that was up to me because I couldn't bond with any of those guys.
Now I'm pretty old, I realise through the whole of my life I found honest love with my Mama, and my dog. I was so blessed by those experiences and regret nothing. But I have for certain no interest in "relationships" with men any more. That has now completely left me. I am quite content with it ! haha!
You are my twin...im just relaxing into age and invisibility. Liberation🎉
I thought I'd just say I do like men, and do have a few male friends. But the whole sex/mating thing is gone away from me, and I am happy with that.
I am content also alone I was married the first half of my life.
I have lived alone with animals I enjoy the mountains & lakes with my dogs.
My only issue is finances I have a chronic kidney disease.
One reason I don't date till I am financially set because they always call pretty women gold diggers
You are still beautiful 🥰
@@G0ETTIN That is very sweet of you. But if you are looking at my picture with my dog.. ..I don't look like that any more. It was taken 13 years ago, But thank you, and you know what? That's what my Mama would have said. Blessings to you., and wishing you a happy new year.
I never realised why some ppl treated me a certain way until i saw how they treated my sister for no reason. Being beautiful comes at price. Ladies, do not underdress, hide, or isolate. Wear it all with pride as well as your personality. HR mean to you? Escalate. Co-workers making suggestions? Escalate. A friend dismissing your feelings over bad dates? Surround yourselves with 2 good friends and leave the rest. Have your own business, employ ppl - design your life - on your terms.🎉❤
Thanks for this love 💕
Doing this ❤❤❤
Exactly! It took me years but now I celebrate who I am. I wear both makeup (I love playing with colours of eyeshadows, it looks wonderful and brings me joy and I do it daily, without waiting for "special occasions") and my personality and my expertise with pride. And I don't expect myself to be "perfect".
Wow.excellent.
I don't wear make up so I guess I stay ugly but ya know what I make ugly look good
They assume WE think we’re beautiful too. I’ve been told I am, but I don’t see it. So we get accused of being stuck up and cold etc if we are the slightest bit shy or withdrawn.
Yes, exactly. And I know that it's only makeup that gives me that appearance.
I see myself as my Plain Jane bare face.
❤
It is projection, they place beautiful people on that pedestal and assume the beautiful person put themselves there
Well it can appear that way on the surface, but it's likely just insecurity on the part of the men. From a male perspective it's hard to assume you wouldn't know your beautiful, I mean certainly you can see what we see when you look in the mirror, and if you can you should be able to realize that, or so we think. Then again as a man, I honestly don't know what women see in men either, if I was a woman I imagine I wouldn't be very interested in dating men.
@ We end up bullied by other girls in school having minor flaws or no flaws at all pointed out or called certain names. That can cause some cognitive dissonance and some of us have issues where we hyper focus on things like zits or minor lines and only see those things in the mirror. Not by choice it’s just where the eyes go automatically. It’s a sort of mental exaggeration of what’s already there and can create a bad image. More along the lines of body dysmorphia. Seeing things in the mirror that aren’t there or that are but aren’t as readily apparent to people who see them. Nothing personal, men, but yeah I agree about women looking better. Hands down. Plus their feminine traits are much nicer, psychologically. If you’re on their good side. A man will unalive you, a woman will come in like a swarm of subterranean termites and dismantle your life a brick at a time. Pick your poison. 😂
All the beautiful girls I knew from school have had terrible lives, a few ended in suicide. I've had two relationships and was treated cruelly in both - financially, physically and emotionally. The plain girls I knew all appear to have husbands who can't do enough for them. It's a topsy turvy world. Thanks for exposing the lie that pretty women have it easy, Teal.
Straight facts.
Wow not my experience. All the beautiful girls I know from school are all happily married with children
@@Jdawn92 yep. Depends on the circumstances. Sometimes Girls actually get treated better because of their good looks.
handsome men face a lot of this as well. Physically attractive people are sadly targeted too often
Beautiful or popular? There is a difference.
In the past (high school), I was considered ugly by everyone in class. I was bullied a lot because of my quietness and knowledge too. Now, I'm considered beautiful by a lot of people, and I'm lusted by men. Being in the both sides of spectrum made me realize when someone is looking at you with lust/hate because of your looks. When I was considered ugly, people often would look at me with a funny face, laughing. Now, that doesn't happen. It's worse to be ugly, but being pretty sometimes doesn't help if you're not confident or extroverted. I still feel lonely, being lusted can boost your ego, especially if you were bullied like me, but it's not love. You're just some piece of fresh meat for them. And I want to be loved, because most part of my life I felt hated.
Thank you for validating ugly people! It sucks. If I was attractive maybe I wouldn't be alone at 36 years old, have a better job, have the family I always wanted, and have friends. People don't see my heart, they see my horribly asymmetrical face. Now when I tried to enhance my appearance by working out 2+ hours a day, all they wanted was sex a few times with the lights off so they could have my body but not see my hideous face. Unless you've been physically "ugly," and unrelentingly bullied, then you have no clue
@@cindymiller7187 Exactly. Being beautiful may have it's downsides, but is still much preferable to being ugly, just as being rich has its downsides, but is still much preferable to being poor. If beautiful women really found their beauty to be such a curse they wouldn't do everything in their might to enhance it, which they do. Just as the rich man does all in his might to get even richer. And if he then complained about how hard it is to be rich he would be laughed out of the room. Similar logic applies to women who do the "woe is me for being so pretty!" routine, while wearing makeup.
@@cindymiller7187 Hi Cindy I want to wish you to have people who respect and value you in your life regardless of partnership, romantic interests or not. We humans deserve not only respect but also recognition of our bright qualities. We all deserve love. May you be healed from these pains. It's somehing very sad in this world.
I feel like the movie Malèna best captures this dark reality of a beautiful woman. Highly recommend it ✨
yes, I've thought about it too, the best movie ever made actually in my opinion...
Agreed. Sad that it so aptly reflected Monica Bellucci's own real life...but yes, the life of all of us beautiful women. "Closer" and "Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love" come to mind as well.
That movie is outstanding. So heartbreaking and relatable
The way she walks through the town with her eyes on the ground at all times.. and yet everyone projects an idea onto her.. we never see her smile or see her true self.. it is hidden behind the false perception of the townsfolk
I absolutely love and adore Monica Belluci! She's so beautiful and genuine 💗
Wow! I have experienced everything you mentioned my whole life. I’m 40 now and still single and life is very lonely. Dating & workplace has been especially difficult. When you’re beautiful and intelligent it’s an even bigger struggle. I’m in the phase of trying to maintain my looks and it’s exhausting. Thank you for covering this topic!
Same. And funny on top of it all also makes them glitch. ooo and if you're talented and graceful, look out.
Are you single by choice?
Same I’m 40 too... so lonely...
@@Canadian_Eh_I Not by choice
@@Pure.energy10 Im a 41 year old male, and I feel much the same. Dating is just so daunting these days, and as I've gotten older its become more difficult to relate to the opposite sex in that way..at the same time, I feel like I don't have much time left to start a family but I'm so far away from it. Its tough man... Just gotta put yourself out there and give people a chance to be who you might hope them to be, a good match for you.
I didn’t know I was seen as beautiful until I was well into adulthood. Looking back, I see I was hurt a lot out of jealousy. These days, I just do what I want. I’ll use beauty to my advantage when I want to and I’ll ignore people when I want to. If people try to make me feel insecure, I just pretend they don’t exist (so long as it feels safe-sometimes you gotta pretend you feel hurt just to feed someone’s ego enough to get out of there.) I’m basically purely strategic, using different tactics on different people, and I only trust my small close circle.
Me. Baffled me 😂
I always felt icky about this convo. Even looking at these pfps, i see so many ppl whom i consider average, normally human looking? Or maybe it is me who has too high of an ideal of beauty (someone that makes me stop in my tracks basically)? Who knows.
@ I mean, I think I am averagely attractive. But I do live in NYC and there are a lot of beauties walking around. I feel more eyes on me when I’m pretty much anywhere else, save for LA.
Regardless, I think most women likely experience some adverse effects from their beauty, because just like there is always someone objectively “more beautiful,” there is also always someone objectively “less beautiful.”
Overall, I think it’s just unwise to place too much value on anyone’s looks. The more I mature, the more I see that beauty and attraction takes many forms. Being curious and non-judgmental, for example…SO hot.
I started moving the same way. I don’t say much and often play dumb lol. I am quite opinionated and a bit of a know it all. Been that way since childhood. In college my face dramatically changed. I was no longer average looking and cute. I was very pretty. Men and women responded very differently to me including relatives. It is a strange thing to suddenly have people stare in awe and friends subtly bullying you. I can be me 100% with my close friends & family. No need to minimize any part of myself to reduce perceived threats.
I love your strategy. Thank you. I'm very compassionate toward others, but this video finally draws a light on why people have always hated me and I've never had a close circle of girlfriends which is the one thing I've always wanted the most. Now I understand why. I thought it was the competition thing (it is), so I tried making friends with older ladies and even they push me away. Now I can say F** it and just do me. It's so annoying when men are chasing me down to "be with me", but I KNOW it's only for my looks because they never ask any good questions to get the real me.
I teared up watching this and almost couldn't watch it all. You literally summed it all up and it's so true. I was bullied relentlessly by other girls my whole life. I didnt realize until my 20s that it is jealousy. Men always say things like oh you could have anyone you want. As if thats some goal of mine. Exes have been so cruel and controlling. Thank you for bringing light to this subject. Hopefully it will make ppl more kind. When a woman tells me im beautiful i always reply with "the only reason you can see my beauty is because that same beauty is in you".
i think i might steal that reply back moving forward, compliments always make me super uncomfortable so this is a nice way to deflect. thank you for your share!
I've had men say that to me too and I'm like, yes I can definitely get banged any day I want, but that's not what I want????
"The same beauty is in you" - that's lovely :)
How did you not realize it was jealousy? Did nobody explain that to you...?
@@Kraterlandschaft I was always very naive and just thought ppl were not really mean like that. My mother was not hands on at all. I basically raised myself. Not until my 20s did a close friend explain it to me . And then everything clicked
The most beautiful woman I have ever seen in real life was also the most polite and the most patient when I decided to go and talk to her.
I was on a traveling working holiday in Sydney, and I was at the beach with a group of other travelers from the UK, Germany etc. When suddenly out of the water comes this goddess, like something out of a James Bond movie. I said to my UK friend "have you ever seen anything more gorgeous in your entire life?" He looks over at her & is stunned for a moment too, then turns to me with a little laugh and says "why don't you try talking to her, see what happens". I was too drunk to understand that he was joking. Usually I'm intimidated by women on that supermodel level, but this woman was SO beautiful, that it transcended my fear and I was just enchanted - it's hard to explain.
So there I was - 23 years old, about 5 or 6 drinks in me with about $100 to my name at the time - and I was fearless. I walked over to her and introduced myself, and asked if I could sit for a moment, and she said yes. But you know what is so memorable about that encounter other than her beauty, was how nice & polite she was, and her body language wasn't uncomfortable or hinting that she wanted me to go away. She didn't roll her eyes, and looked AT me the entire time we spoke...she was engaging - and that in and of it self was so refreshing.
It's pretty much the only time in my life that I didn't regret striking up a conversation with a woman I didn't know.
Love this. ❤
Most beautiful women I have ever seen in real life abused her ex-boyfriend.
Your ability to deconstruct things I have struggled to make sense of for 43 years is such an important gift. Thank you for continuing to share despite the plethora of obstacles you face to do it.
I've been searching for content around this topic for weeks because I've noticed an increasing hostility towards my being and couldn't figure out why. I felt so isolated as I struggled to articulate what I was experiencing. I was scouring the internet and TH-cam searching for support. I couldn't find any resources...until you posted this video. Teal, I feel so seen and acknowledged through your words. Thank you for sharing this message in divine timing✨✨
I believe that awareness can lead to healing. May every beautiful woman who reads this attract genuine friendships, healthy romantic partners, and lasting success in their life. 💞May we all learn to support and uplift one another because we become stronger and more magnetic when we can acknowledge the light in one another.
I will keep you in my prayers. Keep shining 🥺💕
Awareness leads to healing, yes!!!
I can feel a strong angelic resonance while reading your comment. Unusual for me on TH-cam... you are some kind of gem. I can tell by intuition.
You know what? I see a beautiful woman I just want to go right up and say "You are beautiful " and the older I get the more I want to say it.
@Anewattitude Knowing why also stops you being crazy.
My grandma explained this to me early on. She dealt with it and passed it on down to me and my daughters! It is true!
I loved that she touched on this subject because teal is also beautiful and I’m 100% sure that she is talking from her experience as well. I’ve always thought that beautiful women are walking targets from the time they are born. People wanna exploit your beauty constantly in all facets of life. Then people are confused as to why you don’t fit in society or why you can’t just exist in the workplace when it constantly attracts negative connotations.
So true. And if you look sweet, they will try to take advantage of you and if you are nice to other women, because that's what you are, they will bully you, ignore you or gossip behind your back. And if you happen to stay single for a while , because you haven't found a like-minded soul, they will say that there must be something very wrong with you. I never considered myself stunning, but attractive enough to trigger those reactions in people. Even today, since I take care of myself, eat well and I'm not toxic. I did find a good man and we are happy, but I still find it hard to make friends.
She is only average, you are projecting. Her thoughts on this are not as clinical as she would like to present it because she comes to it with the inseparable fact that she is a woman and most likely cannot separate the two properly.
This may be true about beauty but it goes for us that are unattractive too. I'm constantly desired and it's annoying because of WHAT they desire. They don't care what you look like.
She's ancient now. She's 40!!
YES!
Not to mention how difficult and catty women in the workplace are to someone they find a threat… Thank you for this video. 💙🙏🏻🙌🏻🌟
@ blessings while dealing with your judgment. 💙🙏🏻
That’s always been my experience too Ronnie! Especially is you are try to be kind to them.
It's all projection. If they think you're prettier than them, they believe you think they're ugly. Its like your mere existence is equivalent to calling them ugly whenever they see you😂
My worst catty experiences have been with straight men lol. When you are an attractive woman and you are also better than them at their job....they get really aggressive and competitive.
@@neptuneenergy123lemme guess you're one of those caddy women🙄
My ex-wife was very beautiful and it brought nothing but trouble. Getting hit on everywhere she went, whether she was alone or not, jealousy and backstabbing by other women, stalkers everywhere and harassment by police officers abusing their position to be able to talk to her. Yes, she could get MOST men to do whatever she wanted, but it came with a price.
Stalkers. 🥺
That’s me I’m very grateful with life for being beautiful but it has reached a point we’re I get depressed at times and I get tired and it’s a curse but I’ve tried to be positive everything in life has a price I’m trying to enjoy the gift God gave me
@@sweetiepie1110 Get Mixed Martial Arts and self defense training by which you will always have an empowering dirty-little secret giving you a chuckle when your treated for you’re beauty. 👊🏽😎
Wow I needed this video to be made. I’m sick of these insecure hateful women. I can identify with having to dim my light to make you comfortable . No I won’t dim it again . I adore another beautiful woman . I look up to her and get to learn from her and admire her. Grateful not a hater and can appreciate another beautiful woman 🎉❤
Preach it, sister 🙌 👏❤
Thank you, this is a never discussed subject. Even worse is pretty and smart! People do not understand the constant criticism pretty women deal with esp about ridiculous things that you cannot change like color of your eyes! You are spot on in your observations. I used to tell my ex husband he wore me like a Rolex. Actually mothers often display jealousy toward
good looking daughters,with constant criticism, scapegoating. Even as you grow older this not diminsh. I am reminded of an old pop song "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife." Sometimes a stranger will comment to a parent or spouse about their pretty child,friend, etc. only for the compliment to be negatively countered or denied. People have no idea of the challenges and hurts this causes. Great video.
recently my narc mom was upset because at 70s we dont look like sisters anymore and she saw so many lines even though they been minimised with light editing. all my life i never hv female friends who dont ended up being jealous and resentful. if not in the beginning its later on after their mothers or partners compared us and told them to be more like me. men sometimes assume good looking women are bad women. there may be some but its not more than normal average people who are insecure and felt entitled or delusional 😅
omg! Yes!
My dad loved that song... I HATED it. To this day, it makes me so uncomfortable because I am a beautiful woman who would love to settle down, be appreciated, and be in a loving, happy marriage - no joy...
This. I used get complimented a lot by strangers as a child. And I come from an environment where arranged marriage was a thing at that time, I used to have people trying to arrange marriage with my mom randomly in public and I think it used annoy her so bad she would take out her frustration on me by being irritated with me. I remember my mom slapping me in public after being complimented by a stranger and she said it’s because I was licking my lips. I was 8 or 9 I didn’t know anything about being suggestive at that age. I dreaded getting compliments from grown up because I knew I’d be punished for it.
@@Wonderer888 That is so horrible! I'm so sorry that you went through that!
Thank you for bringing this to our awareness …
The truth is we ALL struggle.
It’s a tough gig on planet Earth.
Even as a toddler, I would have people coming up to my parents and exclaiming, how beautiful I was. That is the only positive message I’ve ever heard about myself from the public my entire life. As a now 36 year-old society, beautiful woman, I also realize that the majority of my female friends were only my friends because they wanted the competition. Now that I am aging, my choice of friends has really opened up, but in my 20s, I was a viciously hatedby other females, and only lusted at when it came to males. It really was an extremely isolating and lonely period of my life.
I'm very sorry for you
@@pinkva23 Amazing, good for you
I sometimes had this idea that it can’t be easy since you can’t trust people especially men if they like you only For the outer appearance and then all the jealousy because of other men or from friends who wanna look like you. 😢
I had the same issue.
I became a dancer (fully clothed) and the only people that were nice to me were men. I didn't care that they wanted to use me, men smiled at me, they told me I was beautiful, statuesque, stunning etc.
It had its perks ,but now at 37, I deeply feel I'm losing my beauty and spend literally any money I have on my look (Botox, micro needling, laser, light cosmetic surgery, makeup)
I can go two days without eating, but I'll sacrifice meals, bills whatever just to make sure I don't look old, unworthy, unattractive. Would any one even be interested in me if I didn't have beauty? (I know there's tons of beautiful women out there and don't think I'm a ten, but I definitely above average). Like who am I? No body wants an ugly woman w trauma.
@@pinkva23 many of your female friends when you were younger lusted after you too
my later years where my physical beauty has faded have been the happiest in my entire life, not only because of the experience & knowledge of old age but also because of the abscence of things like the jealousy ,envy & projectons of people assuming all kinds of things due to my former looks..so relaxing & effortless..blissful🔥💥🎉💖thx for speaking on this rarely adressed issue🙏🏼👍🏼🙌🏼
we are taught to fear and fight aging from a young age...this is remarkable to read it was a positive experience for you. You are rare.
@@expectingthebeach2368 All the social media and the cosmetics industry brainwashes men and women into believing that aging is bad manners and can be avoided if people undergo the necessary nips and tucks for maintenance. I'm older woman too and it's nice not to get stupid comments about one's appearance from strange men in the street any more - very liberating indeed! I'm glad I grew up in a different time when people didn't have access to cheap plastic surgery and Botox and we just had to make the most of the features we were born with and young men and women didn't go around like shiny Ken & Barbie dolls. What a strange species we are! Putting on make-up to conceal flaws is one thing but to go and reconstruct one's features on an ongoing basis is something else!
I don't think she is rare. It has been my personal experience and it was the experience of the women I knew growing up. Most, in my family were Christians.
Women were happy, satisfied and self- reliant in their 50's and up. They did not want a relationship with a man (other than those married) and they had learned not to care what others think. I wouldn't fear aging. I've kicked the arses out and I am finally able to relax and be myself.😊
I am not cool with this idea of Beauty as people get older. It’s boring. Also untrue.
As an individual I need to shut out this concept.
Thank u Teal. People tell me I can get everything with just a smile. People think life is easy because I'm beautiful. I'm single since too long. I m very lonely and I don't think people understand how hard it is.
Imagine how hard it is to be average man
@gunfugames7430 think of being beautiful like being a rich man. Sure it has perks, but when it comes to dating it's going to be pure hell because you will never know if they are with you for you, or for your money.
No offense but if you are attractive as you lead on, you are single because you won't settle for a good average man. You are looking for an above average relationship that equals or is more than your success. No doubt you aren't lacking in male attention, it's just the male attention that you are looking for is the attention you aren't getting. Now if there is trauma that you experienced, then that's a whole other discussion, but basically if it's good looks and success that you have, you will experience what I explained earlier
@@sagehawk12 The average man does not get the kind of attention the average-looking women get. Tinder statistics prove that, empirically. The average man gives up on dating because women are always looking out for the top 10% of successful men.
@@gunfugames7430 Also fear of getting raped, just on an average day in average clothes?
I was a fat kid, then in my late teens, early 20s I developed an eating disorder (bulimia) and became slim so I was very attractive for about 10 years until I stopped throwing up and became heavy again. So I've seen both sides. During my attractive years I met, married and divorced an abusive man. Now I'm just alone, people act like they don't see me, so out of the two extremes I would prefer being slim and attractive because people are much friendlier to attractive people. I did get mocked and treated like I was stupid when I was attractive - but that's far better than being overweight because people act annoyed that you even exist.
🤗💕
I loved your comment, there's always a catch, and you could see it in both situations. (and see which is less "worse")
Agreed. I've been unattractive and attractive, and while both have downsides, being attractive is still better.
@lightworker2956 and it you are attractive and aren't enjoying it, it's really easy to make yourself not fit into conventional beauty standards and this be unattractive.
I am sorry that you are treated this way. Society is broken wrt looks
Thank you for talking about this taboo, never-acknowledged phenomenon. This has been my entire experience with every person I've ever known. Even family. It's truly hellish. And the illusion that the world is under about how easy beautiful women have it makes it exponentially harder.
Ugh...and then the automatic silent judgment as though we're snooty or crazy when we don't have a "friend circle" or close family ties is also another layer of fuckked-up-ed-ness. People are always trying to be that one person to knock us down a peg or two...not realizing that is how everyone already treats us. It's f-ing brutal and it's neverending. From both men and women.
@@neptuneenergy123 You are confirming everything Teal just spoke of. Widen your scope, cultivate some empathy, stfu if you can't be a kind person to someone baring their pain.
@@neptuneenergy123 the truth is the truth and unadulterated. if you really wanna tell me i'm feeling sorry for myself I can share how my own mother prostituted me or more fun trafficking stories, but maybe you've seen SVU and Taken, so you know all about it, yeah?
@@neptuneenergy123 and ooo wait, now do I get how angry i am bc of "unhealed trauma"? lol
I hear you, been through what you been through. I've found solace in aligning with spiritual realms and life purpose ♥️🙏🏽✊🏽💫
@@healthyfreesoul Thank you for coming alongside me, friend.
I'm so glad that you are addressing this Teal! I have wanted to comment on posts about pretty privilege but didn't because I knew I would be attacked. Everything you talk about is 100% true in my experience. When I see people calling other beautiful women a b!+ch I tell them why she appears this way and defend her. This needs to be a bigger conversation out there for the sake of mental health.
I am always attacked when i speak about it. I even post abt it and get attacked telling me im not even pretty etc. its insanity
Ugly people have it worse than you, pipe down.
I am a beautiful woman. I actually have a modelling and music/entertainment industry career behind me. I always identified more with my soul and brains. I started dating early on as a teenager much older (and ugly) men because I believed they would be more mature and would know more about valuing one’s inside. They were all awful human beings but I only discovered this when their initial theatre would give way to who they truly were. They ALL abused and cheated on me and tried to destroy me when I finally walked away while everyone around believed I had used them and I was some black spider type of woman. I only found peace when I met a gorgeous same-age man. This guy is truly model-like gorgeous, Viking-looking, mixed martial arts and I was like hmmm we saw the ugly ones were not it so why not try? I rode into the sunset with him and I found (and continue to find 8 wonderful years later) that he was the ONLY ONE who knew about valuing what’s inside and didn’t see me as a trophy. He had been the trophy in his past relationships with women who cheated on him (yes they cheated on this model gorgeous guy with ugly men) and tried to break his spirit. So I guess this is the way to go: beautiful women, find yourself a beautiful man, he is the only one who understands us 😂
This make me laugh 😂😂 glad you found love 💕💕
Thank you for this spin on things.. it actually does restore my faith as I married a man not that attractive and assumed it meant he'd treat me well and cherish me.. then he abused me to extreme levels and demanded I support him become polyamory with women he already started things with - when our baby was just born. I divorced him thank god and have been single ever since.. scared of being hurt again.
Always better to "date on your level"!
As a beautiful woman, I find this story relatable and inspiring .
Thank you for sharing and it makes a lot of sense. I also thought the same way. Dated the ugly guy and was treated that way. I never thought I was beautiful bc of childhood but seen people use me or try to belittle me. Now I hang alone for my peace but if I date in the future I will date someone on my level. Thanks for sharing and happy you are in a healthy relationship.
Ms teal I went through all of this. I'm 54 and I'm single forever now. I give up. Thank you so much for addressing this issue. It's all so true.
your single because you are 54. thats normal as all men want youth and fertility.
same
@@rosieeye6812 once everyone realizes WE ARE ONE… things will shift. 💙🙏🏻 When you judge or attack another,,, you are attacking yourself. Hence “division” being our nemesis. UNITED WE STAND,,, Etc…
@@rosieeye6812 Your perfect love story is still waiting to be written. Don't give up hope ❤️ don't dim your light. Keep showing up, shine your light! ✨
@@No1andeverything. Sometimes giving up hope is the best thing to do…
Wow! This really resonates with me. I know it's a bit personal, but as a naturally curvy woman who developed early, I faced similar challenges in the workplace. Many women were unkind, excluded, and dismissed me solely because of my appearance.
At first, I was hurt and confused. It was an older colleague who offered a surprising perspective: they treated me poorly because I was beautiful. It took time to understand, but he was right.
In an effort to fit in, I hid my curves under lab coats for years. Thankfully, I eventually gained confidence and became a manager, determined to be a better leader than those who had mistreated me.
Thank you for sharing your story. It means a lot. ❤️🌹
I don't think the "hate" you experienced has anything to do with being naturally curvy (whatever that may even mean or be) or your appearance in general. Truth be told, most women hate other women per default (without the majority of them being aware of that). It may or may not be related to your appearance, unless they told you, it's probably just that you've (!) assigned this one cause to the particular effect. And even if they told you, that may not necessarily be the real reason and they've made just something up. Again, most women don't know why they hate or envy other women; it's a psychological program that drives it rather than specific reasons.
@sailor1921 Oh we have a "scientist" here 😂 shut up and sit down, nobody asked YOUR perspective on someone else's experience
@sailor1921 Women know exactly why the despise other women. And if you happen to be objectively attractive, certain women will hate you just for that.
You blame your appearance for being treated poorly, but usually not the looks are to blame.... You might have been a better person, or somebody who made more effort in the workplace - believe me these qualities will make you hated amongst certain people. If you are naturally a loner it also makes you a target ... It happened to me too.
It could be more than one thing as to why you struggled but I'm sorry to hear this happened to you 😔 I'm a little on the curvy side myself and I do wonder at peoples' beliefs around that sometimes.... I think the main thing is to try your best to be kind, fair and professional, though of course you're not always going to get that perfectly right so a genuine apology when necessary is extremely helpful. Props on you for becoming a leader and best of luck 🙏
Im not a beautiful woman and I have been treated in similar ways a few times. Of course I understand perfectly the dehumanization that comes with being fat and not beautiful, it's absolutely painful and alienating. However, it was good to hear this, because that just makes me think about what we have in common as women and how we should start having the wholesome conversations instead of throwing ourselves into each others throats. Shouldn't be a competition, we get different sides of the same rotten coin.
I love this!! I try my best to bond with woman period. And it amazes me how much other women hate on each other. I fell for it too as a teen and wanted to be “ one of the guys” but I soon realized that men wants us separated. Because the more we are separated the more they can have power over us!!! Power to you sis ❤
@@missymartin8125 Sorry lass, you got that wrong, women are mean to other women because that's how women compete, it has nothing to do with what men want. I can tell you what men want from women (and rarely get!): peace and quiet. To have nearby women embroiled in drama is literally the last thing any man wants.
I bursted into tears hearing you, finally someone understands and says it so well. And I was attacked by my own mother and other ppl in my life, telling me it’s my own arrogance and paranoia that I read into things when I am on the receiving end of micro aggressions. Yes, I have been gaslighted. All the toning down, adjusting my outfit, manners, being cold to fathers while I pick up my kids from school- to avoid unwanted attention from them and micro aggression from their partners, because I am a single mom who is attractive and happy.
We all receive micro aggressions. For whatever reason. It doesn't have anything to do with attractiveness: It's just nature. People are aggressive to each other in different ways and for unendless many different reasons. In your case it may be beauty. If you were ugly it would be because of ugliness. So stop thinking nonsense. If life has given you lemons, make lemonade out of them.
I know what you're saying. I get it. Not in the same circumstances, but it's a thing.
The mothers jealously is the hardest part, my mother was so mean to me and my grandma said she was jealous
Same here, thanks for sharing
Same... tears...
As a beautiful woman, I WHOLE HEARTEDLY CLAIM THIS MESSAGE. RAW TRUTH!
❤
@@smartgirl2298 Beatiful women don't think about themself as beatiful.
@@gunfugames7430 ...until they realize that's why they've been treated badly in the same ways by so many. THEN we start saying the TRUTH. This video is clearly about people like you and how y'all treat us. So frfr, you can just fork right off.
I wholeheartedly cosign on this. 100% TRUTH
@@gunfugames7430why, are they all blind?
Thank you Teal for your message.
With a spiritual awakening a couple of years ago I got to understand that beauty also makes people pause, observe and listen. Now I own my beauty more than ever and shine my light as brightly as possible. I’m
46 and feel beautiful inside and out, strong, resilient and also soft, receptive and so so accepted and loved. Because I have learned to accept myself radically and love myself unconditionally. The outside is now a resonant reflection of the inside, and I experience so much ease, joy and abundance. Of course there are ups and downs, but there is choice and spaciousness.
I don’t see people as rejecting me anymore. I see doors opening through the magic of redirection from the universe.
Wishing you all much ease, joy, love and peace ❤
Congratulations on being able to harmonize your inside self and exterior reality. Ronn
100% Resonates.
This is so drenched in positivity I thought for a second this has to be written by a bot 😂 but I feel you. That's the goal ❤
Self-acceptance and self-love is key. Looking to others for validation always leads to unnecessary suffering.
Good for you, I had my spiritual awakening, too. That's a hard thing to accomplish, and I'm proud of you!🎉 good for you, ik you're going to keep kicking ass in life. stay beautiful, my friend ❤
Even men can resent a beautiful woman because she is prettier than his girlfriend, or because he has to accept that the beautiful woman puts him in the friend zone, ETC. Beautiful women don't have it easy, they have to look for a support network they can trust and avoid being alone and isolated, which can make it more difficult.
Yesss and god forbid we acknowledge our own beauty in the light of these issues
Yup. We're not allowed to acknowledge our own beauty or *gasp* call ourselves what we are: Beautiful.
@ yes exactly 🙌
yep there's comments in here about it! how "any woman who calls herself beautiful isn't really beautiful" you have to be HUMBLE while we treat you like your beauty is the only thing that matters.
like if I'm good at math I can say I'm good at math it's a proven statement, but I can't share that when I was 30 and working with the public I was called beautiful 15+ times a day? imagine being praised for something all day every day and also not being able to say you are that thing it's bananas.
@ exactly!!!! Omg it’s infuriating and it’s wrong. I really am so grateful she had the courage to say this because of that because I’m sure people will say the same about her.
@@kyleydiamondThe truth is, being beautiful and also being top of the class is hell! You can't say you're beautiful AND you can't say you're intelligent either, while at the same time getting compliments on your physical appearance AND excellent grades or feedback on a daily basis. The only thing that you're allowed to do in such circumstances is hiding and keeping a low profile, or your classmates/ colleagues will tear you apart. And at the same time, you're encouraged and even pressured to be pretty and to perform! Yet if you do both and exceed this society's expectations in both fields, you get a ticket to hell. This leads to a level of rejection and isolation which, in addition to the insanity of this twofold double bind, can have the most terrible consequences on your mental health.
I have both - I've been ostrazised for being ugly and beautiful. I was always beautiful until puberty hit early, I got a bit chubby and developed severe acne that has left deep scars. I've been bullied for that and for being the weird silent kid that was different. I was not valuable. Then in between that I got my acne under control people thought I was beautiful but no one really wanted to be my friend except the outsiders who struggled with exclusion also for being weird. Today I am the most beautiful that I have ever been, and people value me a lot more today, but not just for my looks, today also for my kindess. But not many know who I truly am, they always get suprised by my thoughts and life choices. My point is I think I entered life to experience both of the contrast and shadows of being "ugly" and "beautiful", inside and out. It has been tough, I just never made the connection of experincing both until this video.
I'll be your friend 😊 I'm in Southern California -- you?
🙋🏻♀️ you have choices, set your standards high and become an Eagle spirit🦅 it’s very challenging but your life even in sadness will be satisfying and fulfilling💯🪅 the road less traveled is not for the masses, enjoy your individuality and celebrate life by ‘Random acts of kindness’ and forgiveness👍 “Let go or be dragged” 🪄😉
O.M.G. B.I.N.G.O!! 100% I don't even see myself as beautiful, but I'm told that I am...and I have been alone for 15 years. Before that I was married...I left when I realized my husband didn't love me. I had NO IDEA I was a "trophy wife" for him, because (again) I don't see myself that way. Or, I didn't. After so many years on my own...I realize I've been living this life just as Teal describes. I never saw myself as a prize, because I've been rejected and often literally hated on sight, my whole life.
@plenarygrace - Similar experience for myself, too.
@@anitarogers2877💜🙏🏻
To all the beautiful women watching this video, let’s get together and make this planet a more loving and beautiful place for everyone. By the way, you are beautiful, magnetic, kind, intelligent, loving, rooted, dedicated and you deserve the best. Shine bright 💎✨ your beauty may come with a price, but it’s up to you to use beauty as a tool to do goodness, spread Love and peace. You’ve got this 🙌 We’ve got this!
💞💞💞💞💞
❤❤❤❤❤
My mother and I have both gone through this our whole lives. I have so much more understanding of my mother now. I just want to hug her. I have experience some jealousy from my very own mother toward me as well. I experience my own jealousy toward other women. The only thing that helps me with that is to ask them questions about themselves. The one thing I respect so much in a woman is the inner work she has done. And I love these conversations amongst women. Thank you so much to you for bringing this topic to the surface.
Thank you for making this video, there was a study that was done that attractive people actually have a harder time making friends because like you said being loved and being lusted over are too very different things
thank you for covering medical care!!! I have been going through this for 10 years now. i jjave actualy had (female) counsellors laugh in my face at the idea that i would need mental health support. and i have had male GPs approach me with hostility and mistrust before i had even finished explaining why i was there. i have been accused of faking my symptoms, i have been accused of making too many appointments and, my most recent example, an emergency responder told me to cuddle up in my bed and sleep off a panic attack. when the "panic attack" was actually in response to real side effects I have having to a medication that was causing me to loose control of my body whilst throwing up, making it a dangerous situation for me to be in while alone.
I have literally had enlarged glands showing from under my skin and been told they "don't see what I'm talking about." People don't believe me, but the contempt is real.
🤗 Hugs.
Hey there- I understand this very real struggle about not being taken seriously by doctors. I’m 11 years into my health struggle and still am not being taken seriously. I started a TH-cam to share my struggles. I look crappy in most of my videos, although my pretty privilege has come and gone over these years I have been incredibly ill with Reactive Arthritis. I have embraced looking like crap recently so I’d be left alone by folks who mistake my kindness for other than just being friendly.
I have a medical issue that causes chronic pain and gives me migraines and nerve damage.. it’s actually considered a disability and is progressive.. yet I look healthy and I’ve learned to be strong and keep a positive attitude. Some drs, massage therapists, and my family are beyond dismissive… my family considers me lazy.
When it comes to beauty I get so many mixed situations.. some people overly compliment me, get clumsy, obsessive, or go the other way and are mean and try to tear me down. I look unique and I know not everyone thinks I’m beautiful, but it’s just so lonely and confusing to live like this.
Wow, I feel this video on every level! I’m 42 now but have experience so much hate, envy, jealousy from both men and women most of my life. Deep down we know it’s jealousy but being beat down for years on end has definitely destroyed my self esteem. The worst I was ever treated was by married men at a job I was at for 11 years because I didn’t want them! followed close behind were the married women who worked there.
OMG! Thank you for this, I'm 48 and ALL of my relationships have been so painful and abusive, and the fact that I could tell everyone just wanted to use me in some fashion but I was belittled if I tried to speak my truth. Such a painful, lonely existence.
@actuallyican4250 sounds like a you problem.... don't blame your appearance, if you were a really beautiful person on the inside people would be nicer to you
Me too. Abused from parents to ex husband, to schoolmates, to girlfriends, to colleagues, to grandparents, to virtually everyone. Then, people think you deserve abuse, wanted it, or disbelieve you! The abuse has been never-ending. I now have a retired teacher friend who has made me finally realize I was a true package of beauty, talent (artist) and intellect - and in my 70 years never put it together!
@@meeow2165 That's me too. Down to the particular package deal. I'm so sorry. I hope you can fully embrace those wonderful things about you now. Even if it took forever to get here❤
@@meeow2165 That made me cry.... I wish much beter for you. It's good to receive the appreciation of who you truely are!!!
You’re not alone….look at all these comments! 🫶big hugs and am in the same boat x
Wow 🥺 I thought I was crazy until you put it into words.
You touched on many deep fears, struggles and insecurities I have. I’ve claimed my beauty as a curse after endless failed and horrible relationships.
I’ve done everything to “hide” or become less noticeable, less threatening, less desirable, less nice, less skinny, less dumb, less dependent, and really just anything to make me feel safer.
Also while knowing I have been a victim over and over, I still refuse to be that or let those take my power away from me. I have found forgiveness and compassion to those who have hurt me. I have desire to truly gain an understanding of men and build harmonious relationships thru the work of Alison Armstrong.
But this video really highlighted the areas I feel are still programmed in me to feel safe and actually loved. Great awareness and power to change with it. Thank you soo much teal for all your valuable content. 🙏 ❤
Me too, my whole life I have modified my image/behavior to strive for the balance of being pretty enough to be loved because that's what I learned people wanted, and also not being threatening :/
This is way I used to avoid beautiful woman before ai met my wife, I had horrible experience and now I with a not that beautiful woman and I'm the happiest men on earth, thank for providing that beautiful woman in general are a big red flag.
You want to know how hard life is, come and join me on a day of am average men, you won't make it.
I've experienced what your talking about Teal. Its a weird un pleasent feeling in my neck and upper back to get put down just because some one else thinks your prettier than they. Sad day that people feel like that.
I love you all! I love you Teal!
I’m crying right now bc I can’t believe u spoke on this this week. I’ve literally been bullied SO much for being pretty actually, & then if you’re happy omg you have a target on your back. Going thru this at work right now. Thank you for bringing light to this. I want to start a “pretty girl” charity to bring light to this matter. The amount of pain I’ve had from women and men due to this is insurmountable. 😢🙏🥰♥️ You’re the best!
Sending you some LOVE and COMPASSON. I know.... I know.
Girl me too and I can't quit because I don't have back ups right now
I’m sorry and it really is hard. Hang in there. 🙏🏻🤍
This is why I have multiple jobs, creative outlets, hobbies and expansive interests. My lifestyle protects me from miserable haters, as well as my supportive family, friends and associates. Through my activity I have the energy to full my optimism. Haters want to say and do things to bring you down but using optimism, excitement etc as tools ensures optimal transmutation.
Sorry to hear about your issues. My eyes have been opened now. I'd support a form of social program for this. However, be aware about the perception on a charity like that based in what Teal just said. "Oh look at the poor beautiful women now wanting more..." could be one of the remarks. Good luck out there!
Thanks Teal. My life. No partner at 55, chased by egos all my life, everyone has a reaction to you. Making myself small to be accepted. Not chosen to be friends.
"Making myself small to be accepted. " Yes... Sadly, yes. But Im done with that tbh. I need to live my live to what it could be and I think you should do the same 💖.
@susanaisabel5133 oh I am :-)
We are here with you, Susie 🌞 🩷
I solved many of these problems by gaining weight, it took me off the menu for many men and made the women not view me as a threat. They felt safe leaving me alone with their men. Now that Im older and wiser I am all about healthy living. Glad to find this video, thanks. It needs to be said. ❤
I was thinking the same thing: if being pretty was as problematic as she claims that it is, why don’t you see beautiful people trying to make themselves less attractive? That almost never happens. Granted, there are a few people who will go out of their way to make themselves even less attractive than they already are as some kind of protest against the patriarchy or whatever (but, to be brutally honest, most of these people were not that naturally attractive to begin with), but most women who are naturally beautiful tend to spend a large chuck of their money and time trying to enhance and maintain their beauty, not diminish it. The beauty industry is a multi-million dollar industry for a reason. This implies that the privileges that come from being beautiful obviously outweigh any drawbacks.
That’s sad. To diminish oneself for the comfort of others. But seeing the comment above mine trying to humble you as they usually do makes me understand even more why you came to that decision. I hope you get to a point where you feel comfortable living your life out loudly and not caring about the meanies of this world because we only get this one life. I see you.
@@randyg22152 Randy staaap it. Everyone’s experience and response isn’t the same don’t expect her to live her life in a way that’s most usual for you. You are attempting to humble a woman in a video that addresses this very issue you are displaying by denying her experience because according to you she’s not as she experiences herself and life. Stop it!
@ you missed my point. I wasn’t saying that you should diminish yourself; I was simply pointing out that obviously being pretty has more advantages than disadvantages, as evidenced by the fact that most people constantly try to improve their appearance. If it was so problematic to be pretty, then people would spend their time and energies elsewhere.
Being pretty gives a person social status and soft power over others, as evidenced by the fact that pretty people get better treatment than unattractive people do wherever they go, and pretty people have more opportunities thrown at them, where unattractive people have to struggle for everything, even simply acceptance or decent treatment by store clerks. But it is what it is. I understand that everyone has problems, and pretty people are no exception, but I am tired of people trying to get attention and special treatment by playing the victim. Life is hard for everybody, not just for you.
@ interesting how condescending your straw-man argument is. You hope that I finally accept myself? Who said that I was not comfortable in my own skin? You? Most people WOULD be comfortable in their own skin if they were not constantly being put down and labeled as “creepy” for simply existing by the hot people. If someone is unattractive, everyone else will let you know that you are less attractive then they are whether you asked for their opinion or not. An unattractive person is unwelcome wherever they go, and is usually harassed by everyone around them simply for being present, and constantly reminded that they are unwelcome.
You don’t have to diminish yourself for others, but you should not diminish others just to feel better about yourself, either.
My good friend cut me off cos her ex boyfriend liked me. She haven't invited me for her wedding.
2girls from highschool were triggered that I had attention with wearing outdoor clothes while they had party dresses. The whole time I had no often seen me as very attractive since I never put any effort into my body frame. Being a woman is such a confusing when teenager.
What a healing journey
Being ugly, being pretty, or being average, are terrible burdens, because existing here is a terrible burden. Our society is shameful.
😂😂😂😂 true
😅
It’s different for women and far harder for men. We have women that are below average thinking they’re tens. Maybe if more people practiced stoicism things would be more on the right track. Unfortunately I don’t believe women and stoicism mix well.
YES exactly !
@@jaynebarry5658 gotta love how you tube deletes comments that are facts. An average or below average woman has it easier than a man that’s above them let alone below. The problem is these women believing they’re tens when they’re not.
“A particularly beautiful woman is a source of terror. As a rule, a beautiful woman is a terrible disappointment.” A quote that is correct to this day from Carl Jung.
Thank you, Teal. You are spot on! Everything in life has a contrast. We chose our bodies or avatars because we knew which experiences and lessons we wanted to pursue. But there is a good side and a bad side to everything. Being attractive when you are young gets you a lot of attention you didn't have to work for and don't want at first. As time passes, you realize many women are jealous of you and, thus, don't like you and may try to harm you somehow. Different people will react in various ways. I responded to female aggression by becoming a people-pleaser. So, not only did I have people projecting on me (instead of helping me to discover my personality), but I also had narcissists and people who prey on wounded empaths.
When I hit my mid-forties, I started freaking out because I thought I was losing one of the only good things about me. How sad is that? I still struggle with aging. It's a great lesson to have something so powerful and then to lose it. Now I'm 47, and I know my youth is gone. I feel nostalgic about it, but I know myself better now and love who I am. I didn't have a chance to develop love for myself when I was younger. I was too busy trying to play the big role I signed up for.
Now, I'm playing the role of a middle-aged woman, and I love it. It's so much easier to make friends; most women aren't jealous of me. It's a huge relief. I love my sisters and want to enjoy them, not have them always projecting their shadows on me. I haven't dated for many years, so I'm not sure how that will go, but I'm optimistic. I'm also grounded but very open-minded, and I can't wait to meet new people. I've noticed that when I focus on caring for and loving myself, I find myself surrounded by people doing the same. It's what I've always wanted, more than money, success, or good looks...the most valuable thing in life is having incredible relationships with people you love who love you.
My advice to the young and beautiful is to get to know who you are, what you like, and what you really want out of life. Use your youth to get ahead in your career, and know that you won't always be this beautiful, but you'll be okay with it. Learn to identify more with who you are, not what you look like.
❤❤such a great comment
Love this! 🎉
I am a man. I lost my "pretty privilege" as i grew older. The good thing about it is that i found my inner self. I was too attached to my looks and physique and reduced myself to a mere image
Sad but male problems are non-existent for a gynocentric society.
@@thenightmare6204 I think male problems are washed away in a Patriarchist society because in it man are not aloud to feel
This was a huge eye-opener for me. Growing up I was always told I look just like Brooke shields. I was “too short” to model, and started making myself ugly with goth make up as a teenager. I always have problems with relationships with females for exactly why you said. One bad relationship after another without understanding why until I watched your video.
Lots of revelations I download at your video so that I can watch it over and over again and let it sink in . Thank you for this gift.
Thank you, this is true. You just described my life and nailed the cause of my anxiety. I hope people take this seriously. All our children continue to grow up with this elephant in the room.
Thank you Teal. I have figured out a while ago that pretty privilege comes with so many downsides and have been trying to process them along the way of having those hardships. I feel so seen and validated. Thanks ❤
Everyone has their struggles and no one is exempt from suffering, even the beautiful, charismatic and wealthy. I believe the unsaid takeaway here is never look to outside validation to determine your worth.
Thank you…I liked what you said at the beginning, about the choices we make before our arrival.
I think it's more than that. Because even if we realize our worth, we can still end up alone and lonely because of how people project onto us.
Yes ❤
@@sagedakotalmft7763 Speaking from my experience and that of my clients, I have to disagree with you.
Not like there's much chance that the only struggle of the beautiful or charismatic is to be beautiful and charismatic... when there's other genuine hardship next to the accurate effects described by Teal... well... it can easily ruin one's serious efforts to get out of serious trouble as well. Merit to pull yourself out of difficulty will more often than not just be ignored or worse , sabotaged, sometimes after years of "friendships" by the ones best knowing your vulnerabilities.
I’ve lived with these experiences my whole life. I was a BEAUTIFUL child who attracted a lot of attention. In kindergarten, I was not allowed to sit by boys on the school bus because they would fight over me. I was also “exceptionally gifted and talented,” so in junior high I was chosen to be a peer tutor for an at-risk classmate. He went on to become a sex offender, and blamed his crimes on me, because I rejected his advances. As a young adult, I was building a successful career until I was suddenly fired by my boss’ jealous wife. When I told my doctor that I was concerned about my mental health, he said “I bet you’re cute when you’re angry.” He went on to tell me that Isabella Rossellini was once his patient, and my skin was as nice as hers. I’m now 45, but look half my age, which is extremely alienating. People are even nastier now than when I was young. This life has made me wise beyond my years, which only makes things worse.
Wow, Teal. This is something I think many of us have wanted to say, but I think you need to be positioned the right way to truly make a difference. So thank you. And, to my *beautiful woman* collective, I love you. ❤ I'm honored to share this moment with you all.
Thank you for making this video. People project a lot of terrible things onto beautiful women.
Being a neurodivergent woman who is beautiful has been such a hard life. Everyone approaches me with an idea of what I should be and how I should act. But I am just me, and I've never pretended to be anything else. And it usually only takes a few seconds or minutes for people to realize this, and react with disgust and even anger at me for being myself. It's made meeting new people rather soul crushing.
There's definitely been this assumption that because I am beautiful, I must be dumb, shallow, and superficial, and if not then I need to make up for it by catering to other people's whims and emotions. But I am none of these things, I am not blindly agreeable, I don't do emotional labor for random people
I don't really have friends anymore, it's very true that people see me as a threat to their relationships. So it's very typical that friendships don't last more than a year or two at most. And after it's happened so many times I just tend not to go out of my way to make new friendships that I know are doomed from the start. The only exception is friendships with older divorced women who are done with men's BS, but we are at different life stages which also makes things hard.
I am lucky in that I have a committed partner, he is very similar to me. It took considerable effort wading through men's bad intentions to find one who actually wanted me for reasons beyond status and sex.
You just told my story too. We are amazing, and sad that we have to be alone, but we shall be okay.
The last part gave me hope. You are my hero. Thank you for not diminishing your light and not playing about your standards. You create an easier path for the rest of us, even if unintentionally.
If you lived in my area, I would definitely want to be friends. There have got to be ways for more neurodivergent women to connect and not feel so alone...
Thank you - you put it into words.
As a red head woman, and a not-too-ugly one, I felt this. I was paid much too much attention from birth, and it has given me many complexes. Most of them as a consequence to one of these topics you discussed. I tell people that I look forward to the day my hair fades and then I can also fade into society and just be me.
Omg I felt sick throughout this video, bringing back just awful memories. I don’t think I’m good looking at all but so many others, men & women do! I’m so glad I’m old now. I won’t wear makeup or dye my hair anymore, even though it makes me feel better. I don’t go out at night, I know I can’t have friends, the jealousy is surreal! So what can we do Teal? How should we handle it? How about a video on boundaries that have to be set by (so called) beautiful women?
& another thing! We’re supposed to enjoy being complimented 🤮 it turns my stomach, coz I know it’s not my personality they’re looking at 😔
I’ve been alone and socially used for my looks my whole life. Thank you for saying this. It’s not me
Same
Heavy on being socially used. I am currently working through the trauma of constant social hostility in my past and coming to terms with the fact that I have been perpetually taken advantage of and gaslit into thinking that it had something to do with my personhood. I think discussing this issue is so important for our own understanding of our experiences and how we can move forward from the way we have been treated. Hopefully other beautiful women will see this video and relate to it and begin this healing process.
@@Lady_Isabellayup. They Want you to think it’s your own fault.
They have to monstrify you in everyone’s eyes to justify their meanness.
That’s really what it is.
It’s not your keychain, or your hair color, or your skin color, or your clothing, or your purse or your shoes or anything else that they pick on.
All those petty criticisms are just cover for their jealousy and their own self-hatred.
I hear their insecurities loud and clear now🤷♀️
How people treat you is mostly about themselves and very little to do with you.
Not claiming to be a major beauty of anything but I’ve often found the combination of looking nice and dressing well put together with deep insecurities about my intelligence and awkwardness tricky to navigate. I often experience two stages romantically. You get peoples attention easily and then have to watch yourself lose it. As opposed to getting it less initially but for better reasons and therefore having a less dramatic drop off rate. It starts to play on your insecurities and makes you think you only have people initially because you’ve tricked them and once they find out more about you they will go. Like is said in the video people think you’re things you’re not and you can’t live up to it ultimately.
You’re totally gorgeous
Maybe you don't understand that beauty's impact fades away as the other person gets to know you better.
Physical beauty is just a surface level aspect, so when people get to see the character of the good looking person might not like it 🤷 And it goes both ways.
@FloraChantrell
Yes!! I didn't know how to string my words together to say this but it is THIS exactly!! I know I have nice features and can be attractive (though I have extreme anxiety about the way I look too, anyway) but I fear for when someone sees underneath the "beauty" is some lost, confused, stupid soul, who has no idea who he is or where he is going. Someone to NOT consider because he's messed up or something. Yes, omg, this is exactly exactly .y precise issue
People always ask me how someone so beautiful is still single... Makes me laugh in their faces. The loneliness, anxiety, and serious insecurities brought on because of being a disappointment after they kno me better is crippling some days. So I feel this for sure! Mind U, I have no friends.. Females immediately hate me and men always just want one thing. So solo dolo for me unfortunately. Keep ur head up! ❤
thanks for sharing, I relate to that too. especially I hate it when I say to people that I have a chronic ilness and they say "you look normal" because they expect me to be overweight and with acne or something, but my skin is good and I'm in shape, and they envy my clothing too from time to time.
This was profound. I was considered a beautiful child and it was so painful I literally started to sabotage my looks to make it stop. Now that I'm older I see how sad it is to dampen ones light based on the insecurity of others. I literally have disassocited from life because of this and struggle to find my way back because apart of me feels un safe completely in my body. I definitely am thankful I am only considered pretty or slightly above average now because the cost of being considered beautiful is too high. Feeling my own beauty in fact is a part of why I disassociate, it's so exquisite when i come into my body and really appreciate all of me that I'm hypersensitive to being attacked and so at the slightest hint of negativity I slip right back into disassociation. And this video perfectly explains why. I didn't get the solution though Teal. Can you expand on how to deal with this?❤
Thank you for sharing this truth. My relatives think I can have it all because I'm attractive. My little sister is jealous because physical appearance and sex are the two most important things to her in life. My mother treats me like a trophee and thinks that she made me. My grandfather used to give me the eye when he was still living and I stopped seeing him.
My adolescence was hard because my mother forced me to wear clothes I didn't feel comfortable in and I had a very neglectful appearance because I was aware of how seductive I could be and had difficulty handling it. I am better now.
To those who believe that "pretty privilege" exists: stop saying that life is easy for beautiful women and envying them. Physical attractiveness fades with time. Character doesn't.
One question: if being pretty was as problematic as you claim that it is, why don’t you see beautiful people trying to make themselves less attractive? That almost never happens. Granted, there are a few people who will go out of their way to make themselves even less attractive than they already are as some kind of protest against the patriarchy or whatever (but, to be brutally honest, most of these people were not that naturally attractive to begin with), but most women who are naturally beautiful tend to spend a large chuck of their money and time trying to enhance and maintain their beauty, not diminish it. The beauty industry is a multi-million dollar industry for a reason. This implies that the privileges that come from being beautiful obviously outweigh any drawbacks.
@randyg22152
You're WRONG! I can choose to look however I want. You're implying that the way I choose to look is for other people, it's not!
I keep my appearance a certain way because it makes me happy. Period!
@ you missed my point.
To make an analogy, listening to you complain about pretty privilege is like listening to a rich person complain about all of the problems that come from having too much money. While he may have a point, if being rich was really that problematic, then the obvious solution would be to give all of your money away and go live the life of a regular person. But there aren’t that many billionaires taking a vow of poverty and becoming a monk, so we have to take their claims of “more money, more problems” with a grain of salt, now don’t we?
Likewise, most people are undergoing costly and painful treatments like plastic surgery to gain and maintain their beauty, not to lose it, and people spend hundreds of dollars each year on clothing and makeup and other cosmetics to make themselves more attractive, not less, so we have to assume that the privileges that come with being attractive far outweigh any drawbacks that one might experience from being attractive.
So you are obviously lying. You look pretty because it makes other people treat you a certain way, so you ARE looking a certain way to gain power over others.
I don’t blame you, but stop the cap.
@@randyg22152I hear you!! that's what I used to say. Complaining about being beautiful is really so lame, because with no makeup, plain hair and unflattering clothes, REALLY few women would still be stunning. so being beautiful is like SOOO easy to fix😂. I should know because people treat me SOO differently when I am putting efforts in my appearance vs not😂. I really cannot stand the hypocrisy.
Better to be beautiful than ugly. I understand being beautiful comes with its drawbacks, just like everything in life. We (regardless of our looks) have to develop a thick skin and made the most of it what we have got... Your mother's behaviour was awful, when she was trying to make you wear clothes you didn't feel comfortable in. Your problem is not your looks but your family. How old are you? If you are old enough maybe you can limit your exposure to your family and heal.
Very interesting video. I remember when my friends complained about "pretty privilege" in a conversation, and I was like: I don't think being stalked by a perv is a privilege. // But as seen in this video, there is a lot to it. Definitely make more of these types of videos about the lived experience of different groups 🙌
“With great power comes great responsibility”. You have a gift, and it’s sometimes going to feel like a burden. It’s like being born into a wealthy family. It can be an asset or a liability, but above either of these it is a RESPONSIBILITY. You cannot only complain about it without realizing its potential to also be an advantage. So with gratitude… carry on your spiritual growth, be smart and be kind and be unselfish, and realize that everyone has their ups and down and keep your humility. Some people would love to have what you take for granted. Nobody said life was going to be easy. To quote the Dread Pirate Wesley: “Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something”. God bless and have a great life!
Thank you for seeing me Teal. I remember being mocked by many friends growing up "oh gee it's so hard being pretty" as they'd roll their eyes. The trouble that my beauty brought me compounded into so much negativity that I'm pretty sure it led to my health issues and very unwanted weight gain. Gaining weight takes away a great deal of being perceived as pretty since it goes against the beauty standard.And while it's been great to be treated more normal and less like a threat the weight is hurting my health and I long for my old body back.. I have been doing a lot of shadow work around this and I have a very high degree of fear tied to looking that way again. But I find myself rejecting how I look now because I feel ugly though I know I am not .. I'm also afraid I'm losing out on my desires because I'm not longer that pretty. It's been nice to be seen and appreciated for my mind and talents. But average girls get looked over a lot too I've found. Discarded for not being appealing enough visually. It's like there's no win. I'm older now and I think maybe better equipped to handle the negative attention I used to get bombarded by.. but I definitely don't miss that treatment. It feels very damned if I do and damned if I don't. Pretty privilege comes at a cost and I sympathize with others carrying that burden.
Its incredibly dangerous, an envious woman attacked me with a chair. A huge reason why I don't have an online presence, a lot of downsides.
So True! I've experienced all the above. It's so important for us to do our shadow work, journal, and do our inner work so that when we wake up one day and we're 60, we still have our Self worth as a Spiritual being, not just a physical one.
Let's face it. Just being a woman is hard. Whether you're ugly or beautiful, you have fo suffer and try and navigate your particular set of circumstances. May God Bless All my sisters! ❤️
Damn teal, there you go cracking another mystery. Well that explains it. I’ve been puzzled my whole life as to why my higher self opted into an ugly duckling situation. Now I see why. Thanks to that decision, I get to have the best of both worlds. Sure, my ego had to suffer tremendously prior to reaching this point… but still. It’s all worth it if in the end I’ve earned for myself a win-win.
I met my husband sometime in my 20’s, right as my beauty was starting to bud (apparently a typical occurrence for people with swan spirit). That means that what he fell in love with is a certain amount of outer beauty, and a whole lot more inner beauty. It’s not my physical beauty that he’s here for. Higher self made sure I get to have the safe relationship sector settled BEFORE I start to really bloom. Smart. Now I get it. Doing that eliminated at least half of the problems listed here. I finally see the benefit of that damned choice I used to so deeply resent. Thank you wise one.
Thank you for this video. It’s been especially hard now as I enter intensive therapy and have to look back at just how awful people have always been to me.
I have been depressed my entire life and no one could ever relate to me. It’s been such an isolating empty existence.
There is virtually no way to fully win in this world,like, without some downfall. If you are not objectively attractive/fitting the beauty standards, you are treated less than human, and like an object . Same if you're beautiful. And if you're more average, you're essentially invisible, which can also suck, especially if you want more attention and want to feel desired and loved.
I guess all we can do is to be aware of ourselves, know what we want and who we are, to develop the ability to feel and work to achieve and allow our desires. I know most of the time it's not this simple, but I guess that's all we can do.
I agree with you
It's worse when comes to beautiful women most of us are targeted ugly people are not targeted so think about it
@@bossytruthy1573😂😂 that's one of the most ignorant things I ever read, ofc uglies are targeted and have it way worse than attractive ppl. I speak from my own experience in high school several years ago
Great video! I resonate with it all…. I’m 49 and just now have decided to own my beauty!! Easier said than done but I’m on the right path ! Thank you
Thank You. Thank You! Thank Yoooou!!!! For arranging the words and helping me to make sense of SOOO many things and situations throughout my life over and over, these odd behaviors and people becoming cold and hateful or being that way from the start. Even moms perceiving their daughters as a threat, being envious of any attention her daughter gets, and treating the daughter like garbage because her beautiful existence and basic human needs are such a burden. Oh and wait until the good looking daughter becomes a teen! I needed to hear this Teal. Not to shove in anyone's face. I'm rewatching this video so I can absorb it well and do some mending on the inside. I never wanted to stir up hate inside of anyone EVER.
Yes! The mother-daughter dynamic.
I have experienced both being beautiful and being ugly in my life. Fairly speaking, both have their own distinguished advantages and disadvantages. However, being beautiful still makes things easier in life in terms of self-esteem, self-confidence, opportunities, and small daily things.
and then theres me, fired 5 times for refusng the boss'es advances
@@marazampariolo3200 No job can replace your self respect and integrity. Keep being you, life WILL reward you for it at some point, although it might not seem like it sometimes.
Well said Teal! You put in words my internal battle I've faced all my life. Thanks a million for this truth ❤
I am fortunate to have found a partner who values me as a human being and to be surrounded by beautiful friends who are not threatened by me ❤
I have had nearly every experience you have described here. When I was young, I tried to talk with my mother about it...she told me I just needed to accept people will always be jealous of me. Even my mother and daughter expressed jealousy towards me. The funny part, I do not feel like I am super beautiful but I was offered a modeling contract because of my unusual look. I do believe beauty comes from inside. My presence is strong though, and people respond very positively or highly negatively, rarely in the middle.
I have been burned and drowned in this society for sure.
That was so powerful. Thank you, Teal! It REALLY needed to be said.
It explains so much of my life and gives me so much compassion for the challenges I've faced. The social pressures have made it difficult to even admit that I'm a beautiful woman. Thank you and Bless you!!!✨️🙏🏻❤🙏🏻✨️
Same! We're not even allowed to call ourselves beautiful or comment on the "why" we are treated the way we so often are! Bc then we're considered high up on ourselves or arrogant instead of just calling balls and strikes. It's maddening
This was so triggering and validating all at once. Beauty is most certainly a curse and so when I’m all alone is the only time I can appreciate it and look in the mirror and feel grateful that I admire what I see. People truly hate when you’re beautiful and other things that don’t fit their small minded perceptions. Like beautiful and intelligent, or talented, or kind. It’s truly sad the jealousy of others and I spent my whole life people pleasing and making myself smaller as to not trigger others ego and yet it all backfired so I just limit human interaction as much as possible now and I’m much safer.
Here’s a poem I wrote years ago about my feelings towards being beautiful:
On being pretty
I don't speak on being attractive much
But I am and very...
And to even acknowledge it
I might be judged unfairly
And to say pretty is a privilege,
Might evoke some envy
But the truth is
I don't enjoy it
And it's
Actually scary
Sometimes I open up to speak
But nobody hears me
I'm expected to be perfect
Instead of being carefree
I don't receive compliments or anything
That is genuine only
There's always some motive
That leaves me weary
I may be used for ego boosts
Until they finally kill me
My faults are magnified and then
Used against me
I'm thrown inside a box
Meant for restraining
If I react to any of the pressure
Than I'm labeled crazy
Labeled shady
Labeled everything
But what my mother named me
And
The worst part is the
S A B O T A G E
That I can never complain about
Because I'm
Always hated
Always baited
Always used but never satiated
In solitude because I’m losing patience
A privilege that leaves me close to breaking
Always used but never satiated…that line cut deep, I can totally relate. What a beautiful poem, thank you for sharing it ❤
So absolutely true, thanks for putting this out there. I finally understand why my youth was so difficult! ❤
I completely get all of what what said. However, I have been both very beautiful and average (I'm older and fatter now, haha). And I have to say after being both I would definitely chose very beautiful over average. People treat you better when you look better. The struggle being beautiful has is much less than the struggle of being unattractive, even just for the simple fact of how you feel about yourself. When you look better, you also usually feel better too.
Thank you Thank you Thank you Teal. Really. Never heard anyone touch on this and it has affected me my whole life. Being outsooken and a “seer” and ve pretty to a point where women have been envious of my looks my whole life, including my own Mother, it is exceptionally healing to hear this
Yup-story of my life, thanks for bringing light to this subject. Even as an older woman I don’t look anywhere near my age so am still treated this way. Women my own age spit bullets when they discover I’m not 20 years younger than them. Thankfully I have developed a strong connection to source and my spiritual journey has given me the tools to navigate this path intact. It’s no journey for the faint of heart though and all the dynamics you’ve touched upon have caused me huge suffering during my life. I’m at peace with it now, and know my worth despite the crap others project onto me.
This is the first time I've seen anybody talking about this subject. I resonated with every bit of it. I had my beautiful daughter listen too. I'm watching her at 17 go thru some of this and it hurts my heart bc attitudes toward pretty people will never change as long as there is jealousy and envy. It's also something you can't really talk about. People be like "oh cry me a river because you're gorgeous" I'm 54 and am still beautiful but am scared and at the same time relieved that I'm losing my looks. Maybe if I'm uglier I could actually get a date! We're not approached, talked to or asked out socially unless the guy wants to boost his ego. Then he boosts it more by discarding the beautiful woman because it makes him look like he can have anybody...people are mean, cruel, jealous and up to this point nobody understood til you ms teal swan. I love u. Thank you for all that you do for the rest of us. ❤
I can't believe someone said it all, Swan, thanks so so much, everything that I wanted to say for years...
Some men, too many... really treated me as a witch... They wanted me, I didn't... and they were mad... they became mean and vengeful. That part of men just scares me so so much !!!
I became so scared of getting attention from the men that are in a relationship, and lose friends over that... like it happened so many times in the past... I started to dress unappealing purposely... and stop wearing makeup... and people started to ask me why I dress weird... I felt judged... and I can't even answer that question without looking like I'm full of myself... I'm single for 9 years now, I just wish I could leave this insane, unjust world... !
You are so beautiful Swan !!
(... and some people will think I meant physically)