Welcome to calming your mind by STAAAAAAMMMMMPPPPPPPSSSSSS!!!!! Check out Pitch Meetings on Screen Rant - th-cam.com/users/ScreenRant Grab tickets to Walter Banasiak's The Infinity Trinity & meet all of us on June 29th - theawesomestore.com/index.php?dispatch=products.view&product_id=30001 Come see us at Planet Funk Con - planetfunkcon.com/
Tbh solo Doug skits have been consistently amazing this year, to the point that I'm more excited to see what he comes up for the sponsor ad rather than the review :T
Critic talking about having Newt being older because of pod problems instead of killing her off just because she got older in real life makes a lot of sense. Him explaining other things of how it could have been reminded me of him saying"I FIX THE MOVIE."
“Hi. I’m the pitch meeting executive from Screen Rant. I listen to writer ideas so you don’t have to”. Writer: “Who are you talking to? And why do you have two dozen crates full of stamps all over your office?” Executive: “I Don’t knowwww...”
Watching Pitch meetings is super easy, barely an inconvenience. Watching Nostalgia Critic is incredible simple, hardly an obstacle to overcome. Watching both at the same time is TIGHT.
@@megamovieman101 And EVERYONE ELSE. They all died for nothing, apparently. Remember how Gorman redeemed himself by going back for Vasquez? Remember Hudson? Remember Ripley's character arc, going from having nightmares from her first encounter, to fighting the f'ing alien queen hand to hand? Nope, none of that mattered at all. F this garbage.
I just want to say this video inspired me to watch the Screen Rant Pitch Meetings and you’re right - they’re hilarious and the writing is incredible. Thanks for introducing me to that series!
That's how I was introduced as well. Thankfully, these amazing pitch meetings have their own channel, now, so you don't have to be subscribed to Screen Rant, anymore
Gavin O'Connor Clarke Yeah I think that project ended up getting canned after Blomkamp basically blacklisted himself with Eylesium and Chappie. Mind you I’d rather see his film than see Ridley Scott continually ruin this franchise with a never ending supply of shitty, shitty prequels.
@@SharpDesign "won't it be hard to do a pitching meeting on nostalgia critic with such great content to go over","no super easy barely an inconvenience".
The extended cut of this movie actually feels like a whole film, as opposed to the theatrical version, which feels like its missing a lot of necessary substance.
The Guardian: "So that alternate cut on the DVD special edition whatever it is - that's not yours?" David Fincher: "I don't know who did it, I've never seen it, I can't comment on it."
They could do several episodes where Doug is briefly replaced by another actor. For example, Black Critic, Little Kid Critic, Animated Kitten Critic, Sexy Female Critic, Invisible Critic (who might just be a wall), and Cameo Critic.
@@maneckineckbeard1749 Can you imagine that happening in real life? You put your ear to your pregnant wife's tummy and you just hear "WAHA, WAHA, WAHA!!"
Amen to that. In fact, I’m pretty sure that he’s now become my personal mental representation of The Devil. (Sorry, Peter Stormare from “Constantine.” You still get the runner-up crown, though.)
I gotta admit, that part did make me feel a touch guilty...for uncontrollably bursting into hysterical, hyena-like laughter! Because really, what’s not to like about jokes involving the use of a child’s corpse as silly voiced hand puppets? That’s right up there with classic knee-slappers like Tarantino’s “shot in the face” sight gags, and Christopher Nolan’s Joker doing his “disappearing pencil trick!” Classic, classic hijinks, all of them.
You can always go read the Alien comic story about the Xenomorph that spat one liners, smoked cigars, and had a puppy. Sounds stupid, no? It's a bit more clever than it sounds.
Haven't seen Alien 3 since I was a child, imagine my surprise when the explanation I (apparently?) constructed for the prison was that it was ONLY inmates with no way off the planet, and no weapons to hijack stray transports, so isolation and hopelessness led them to turn to fanaticism to try and survive as best they could, forced into cooperation by necessity, through dogma. I have to thank 7 year old me for improving my view of the film. Slightly. Even if it was a misunderstanding - not sure if I have it in me to rewatch to verify whether that is the case though :P
FINCHER: Seriously. I swear to God. She was like...what's her name in Peter Pan? She was like Wendy. And she would make up these stories. And in the end, there were these seven dwarfs left, and there was this f*cking tube they put her in, and they were waiting for Prince Charming to come wake her up. So that was one of the endings we had for this movie. You can imagine what Joe Roth said when he heard this. "What?! What are they doing over there?! What the f*ck is going on?!" '' [PREMIERE magazine May 1992]
Pretty sure Ripley's alien took longer to be born because it was a queen, and it only chose that moment to pop out because it could sense that it was in danger.
More like, we're going to nearly completely inspire Metroid from face hugging to one getting all maternal to bad ass heroine to Ridley the space pirate dragon.
Fincher won't even talk about hellish experience he had with the studio and basically everything to do with the making of this film anymore...it almost broke him
Someone needs to tell him that it might be time to give up his dreams of Hollywood stardom, and just move to the San Gorgonio Pass in SoCal. We have dozens of square kilometers of wind farms that are always hiring...and the pay for generating power here is better than anywhere else in the USA. Coal, natural gas and water would kill for a chance at SoCal Edison’s monopoly on kilowatt hour rates! Seriously- word is that The Wind has a labor union in Riverside County that offers killer benefits and a solid pension plan...Hollywood Wind should turn in his SAG card and join up. After all, in this economy, who can afford to NOT explore midlife career changes or job transfers, amirite? And I hear the wind farms even provide comprehensive on-the-job training: “Blow through the windmill vanes. Make them turn. Once they’re turning, keep them turning.”
Fox: "How can we escalate the xenomorph threat after Aliens?" Warhammer 40K: "Giant xenomorphs, humanoid infiltration xenomorphs, biomechanical weapons and ships, global reconnaissance, infestation, assault, subjugation, and absorption..." Fox: "Let's make this one a dog."
The Wind had it's day...it was called the world-premier of "The Happening" and literally no other day before or since. The Wind had it's day, and it blowed; it didn't shine. 👍
20:41 Yeah but she doesn't know. If they cut the scene you would just ask how the hell she knew everything. Plus it gave us a proper goodbye to Bishop.
Then just cut the scene at the start that shows us how it crashed so we’re left in the dark until this scene. It takes way too much time to re-establish what we already know. Either that or cut this scene down so it’s not burning so much time.
@@kman2384 It's an Audible original, I tried to copy the link but it kept bouncing me to the app. If you Google Audible Alien 3 William Gibson it pops right up.
I agree! That was my favorite part. It's amazing how these stupid Nostalgia Critics can make me laugh harder than most modern Hollywood comedies. They have such an understanding of comedic timing.
I mean...it’s not like a “dog alien”(runner)would be biologically simpler then a warrior(human)or a queen would be more complex and take longer to birth a a regular xenomorph right?
9:30 in Psycho, Marion’s death ultimately brings the people to the Bates Motel and the Bates house who will discover his secrets. In Nightmare on Elm Street, her death is blamed on the boyfriend and brings everything to action for the characters in the movie. Later on in Nightmare 4, the last of the Elm Street children are killed off towards the beginning so that the Alice character can start becoming the “Dream Master” - all early deaths that impacted the plot.
I remember seeing Alien 3 for the first time when I was 12 years old and being mainly just flat out confused with what was happening. I didn't think it necessarily was a bad Alien film, I just thought it was kinda vague, boring and all around mind fucking. Especially seeing people like Hicks and Newt just killed off instantly. I wasn't even pissed really just confused as to why the main characters were killed off and why the studio chose a grossly under par story with 0 Alien action. It didn't make much sense to me then. Maybe with today's technology they could enhance the special effects and patch over some glaring editing issues.
On the differing gestation rates: I always saw it as Queens probably take longer to gestate, and since the alien uses DNA from the host as part of it's genetic makeup (which is why the dog alien looks and moves different), the fact that dogs mature faster and have shorter lifespans is why it hatched so quickly from the dog.
Critic I'm begging you, do a Beowulf review recently watched it again (use to watch it as a kid) and I cant even fathom the amount of jokes you could make
Welcome to calming your mind by STAAAAAAMMMMMPPPPPPPSSSSSS!!!!!
Check out Pitch Meetings on Screen Rant - th-cam.com/users/ScreenRant
Grab tickets to Walter Banasiak's The Infinity Trinity & meet all of us on June 29th - theawesomestore.com/index.php?dispatch=products.view&product_id=30001
Come see us at Planet Funk Con - planetfunkcon.com/
Will you review the Josie & The Pussycats live action movie??
I hope You'll review the Live Action Josie and the Pussycats movie!
Please review Scooby Doo: Curse of the Lake Monster (2010)
YES! I was wondering if you do a video on this sequel.
@@deshawnedwards6412 Maybe he'll do both!
👀
I guess coming up with an alternative to "super easy, barely an inconvenience" is incredibly simple, hardly an obstacle to overcome.
Ye ye ye
you da man Ryan! your 30 second clips on your personal channel are my fav to show people who've never heard of you.
major Tom skit changed my life.
Lololol....ur content are great
@@Achilleasgr Question
I was looking for this believe it or not.
"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"My back, it wants you to get off of it"
"Fair enough"
That whole skit was worth the click.
BlackVendaeta It’s what Ryan George does
Tbh solo Doug skits have been consistently amazing this year, to the point that I'm more excited to see what he comes up for the sponsor ad rather than the review :T
The skits are better with Malcolm and Tamara
Not really
Poor Wind. He hasn't gotten much work since Shyamalan tried to make him scary in The Happening...
"I am .......... the wind." Remember the "Master of Disguise" review???? Apparently, Doug doesn't either.
It's okay. He's still living off the residuals.
You obviously haven't seen Bird Box
He had his day in twister
hahahahaha
Critic talking about having Newt being older because of pod problems instead of killing her off just because she got older in real life makes a lot of sense. Him explaining other things of how it could have been reminded me of him saying"I FIX THE MOVIE."
Unfortunately the actress got really fat in her later years
@@DOSRetroGamer She never wanted to do movies again anyway.
How about just recasting her?
@@jp3813 Especially if she's supposed to be older now.
@@danielanderson8322 She's supposed to stay the same age unless an explanation is given.
Me: A pitch meetings intro would probably be too difficult for Doug to do.
Doug: Actually it’ll be super easy, barely an inconvenience.
Me: wow wow wow
Hardly an obstacle to overcome *
Dude I don't know if he's as funny.
Still bothers me the whole series started after being a successful small series on Jenny Nicholson's channel lol
No, it was. This was a pale comparison of a fail rip off.
I died at "Actually it will be simple. Hardly an obstacle to overcome" as I was listening for the "super easy, barely an inconvenience"
Rest in peace, buddy.
Having a Pitch Meeting/ Nostalgia Critic crossover is super easy, barely an inconvenience.
Barely inconveniencing crossovers are TIGHT
O GOD PLZ MAKE THIS HAPPEN XD
“Hi. I’m the pitch meeting executive from Screen Rant. I listen to writer ideas so you don’t have to”.
Writer: “Who are you talking to? And why do you have two dozen crates full of stamps all over your office?”
Executive: “I Don’t knowwww...”
_Only Malcolm_ could make me feel invested in wind’s emotions and story.
He should have won an academy award for his role as fart joke from the Master of Disguise review.
Kinda makes me think of Klonoa for some reason
Everyone: *losing it over the Pitch Meeting styled intro*
Me: Heh, that Hercules reference was tight.
Me: heh heh heh I liked that intro
Im sure it was no trouble at all. Barely an inconvinience
Hysterically hilarious intro. By George I say!
Hercules reference?
Where was the Hercules reference?
That Pitch Meeting-intro was spectacular :D It was probably super easy, barely an inconvenience xD
Edit: Thanks for all the likes, people :)
hardly an obstacle to overcome
I think Ryan’s gonna sue somebody. Lol
Man, that would have taken me hours. I couldnt go through so much text so fast without mistakes.
IT WAS TIGHT!
It was incredibly simple, hardly an obstacle to overcome!
“In Space Nobody Can Hear You Criticize”
Allen
In space no one can hear you in space
In Space, nobody can hear you Jam!!
_"In space no one can hear you do anal..."_
*cue creepy Mickey Mouse giggle
J Double C XD
In this movie nobody can hear anything with so many whispers XD
Seeing a pitch meeting in a nostalgia critic video is *TIGHT*
He literally said pitch meetings by name and I only recently found out they exist. Idk how I missed that part , ive seen this video 3 times lol
It sure is
Ryan George would approve of this comment. I just hope he's seen this and liked it
No it's not. He just proved that it's not the formula but Ryan George's charisma makes this series. This was painful to watch.
Inspiring
“It’s an homage if we acknowledge that we’re ripping them off.” 😂😂😂
Fair enough
At he knew what people would say if they watched any of the Pitch Meetings
Homages are tight!
@@LuisSierra42 Yeyeye!
Wow, wow, wow, wow
Ripping "Pitch Meetings" off is super easy! Barely an inconvenience!
10/10 opening.
Well, okay then
Oh really?
@@ImAFatNerd90 Yeah yeah yeah
Jerónimo de Jesús
No it’s incredibly simple hardly an obstacle to overcome
@@RaelWander Ah, ripping off other's creative properties in a tasteful manner while still giving them credit is TIGHT!!
Watching Pitch meetings is super easy, barely an inconvenience.
Watching Nostalgia Critic is incredible simple, hardly an obstacle to overcome.
Watching both at the same time is TIGHT.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
WowowWOWowow.
Nullam quis yeah
Nullam quis Ha!🤣🤣
Newt being dead crushed my soul.. and the way they killed her off was so insulting.
yeah well, that happened. Life is unfair.
Bishop and Hicks too. And Ripley. All four characters deserved better.
@@megamovieman101 yeah i was ticked off that hicks wasn’t shown more respect. Ripley only seemed to care that newt died
@@BleepingRelics This is not "life." This is a story written by a coke addict. Literally. Not metaphorically, not exaggerating.
@@megamovieman101 And EVERYONE ELSE. They all died for nothing, apparently. Remember how Gorman redeemed himself by going back for Vasquez? Remember Hudson? Remember Ripley's character arc, going from having nightmares from her first encounter, to fighting the f'ing alien queen hand to hand? Nope, none of that mattered at all. F this garbage.
I like that Ryan George is big enough to parody his Pitch Meeting
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
That part was tight
Grim And it was super easy, barely an inconvenience to do.
Grim
Parodying Ryan George is incredibly simple hardly an obstacle to overcome.
is that a fat joke
Wasn't The Happening Wind's big break?
Edit: Literally everyone else in the comments has already made this joke.
And they’re all glorious bastards.
Inglorious Basterds
If you're equating The Happening to breaking wind... I agree ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
No, his road-to-everlasting-fame role was in Pocahontas.
The rob walker producer joke was GOLD😂😂😂😂
It was funnier when "Pitch Meetings" from screen rant did it
th-cam.com/video/XWqu87Rr9ko/w-d-xo.html
@@zsoul3367 I think you're replying to the wrong thing.
I just want to say this video inspired me to watch the Screen Rant Pitch Meetings and you’re right - they’re hilarious and the writing is incredible. Thanks for introducing me to that series!
That's how I was introduced as well. Thankfully, these amazing pitch meetings have their own channel, now, so you don't have to be subscribed to Screen Rant, anymore
Me too now I subscribed to pitch meeting Channel and Ryan George
Wasn't expecting a Pitch Meetings styled intro at the beginning 😄👌
Me either.
No one did which is why it's Perfect
@@David-nq8cv Fair enough.
Nathaniel Foga I don't like this and it doesn't work.
@@clarecarey2594 WHy??
Wasn't Wind given a major role in The Happening by Shyamalan?
Understandably, The Wind likes to keep that one off its resume.
It was trees
Some guy who likes memes I thought it was the plants lol
Yeah, but the wind needed to blow to distribute the toxins. There's scenes in the movie where characters are literally running from the wind.
Brian Straight can we all agree the wind deserves a break in movies
"What kind of animal would do this to my dog?"
Peta.
Araki
don't worry about your dog - the facehugger picked a bull instead of the dog
Phreak Azoith in a different movie version
Damn, that pulled a big ol’ LOL out of me. (Congratulatory slow clap)
Yep!
I like the theory that Alien 3 and 4 are Ripley’s dreams in cryosleep.
I have the same theory as it could work for Neil Blomkamp's film, if that ever comes to fruition.
@@gavinoconnorclarke5270 I dont think that is ever happening not to mention the fact that Weaver will be 70 this year
Gavin O'Connor Clarke Yeah I think that project ended up getting canned after Blomkamp basically blacklisted himself with Eylesium and Chappie.
Mind you I’d rather see his film than see Ridley Scott continually ruin this franchise with a never ending supply of shitty, shitty prequels.
Ooohhh, never heard that one before, but I likes it!
Soooo nightmares
Cheer up, Wind.
Your day will come when Shyamalan makes "The Happening".
It was not the wind... it was the trees...
...one day Wind,...one day...
@@thefreakmachine There was a scene where the wind took big part.
@@thefreakmachine what about twister
@@wintersoldier164 I don't know if it qualifise: in Twister the Wind is actually the monster. Does it count?
@@thefreakmachine give wind something, for wind
And the wind finally got his big break in The Happening. Thanks Shyamalan!
What about Twister? You can't have a tornado without strong, warm winds.
@@cottontail1039 if thats the case than that means that wind has been working since he sent Dorothy to the land of Oz
it would be hilarious if ScreenRant copied Nostalgia Critic just like he did in the beginning😂😂
Pitch Meeting for Nostalgia Critic would be tight.
@@SharpDesign "won't it be hard to do a pitching meeting on nostalgia critic with such great content to go over","no super easy barely an inconvenience".
Helloooo im Ryan George I remember it so you dont have to
Impossible
The extended cut of this movie actually feels like a whole film, as opposed to the theatrical version, which feels like its missing a lot of necessary substance.
Which version is he reviewing in this video?
@@willcardona7712 Theatrical
@@hmdwgf please. The Alien 3 was suppose to be much better, but it went to production hell, so it is what it is.
The Guardian: "So that alternate cut on the DVD special edition whatever it is - that's not yours?"
David Fincher: "I don't know who did it, I've never seen it, I can't comment on it."
Someone's going through every comment mentioning the extended cut as if they're butthurt that people like it, lmao
"I hear they're having steamed hams"
I still appreciate this joke even to this day
You’re probably just hungry
I don't get it.
It's a meme from the Simpsons, just look for it online
Wind: it's never me it's always a giant monster
Sharknado: ok but what if the wind *IS* a giant monster
Twister: Am I a joke to you?
Perfect Storm: hold my rum
Clever.
Ghidorah: hold our 3 beers
BOOM! I commented about “Twister” and “Sharknado” as well. Glad to see I wasn’t alone.
MY SHOW NOW BITCHES!! -Rob Walker
i love that part
I wouldn't mind to watch rob walker to be The nostalgia critic for a episode or two.
They could do several episodes where Doug is briefly replaced by another actor. For example, Black Critic, Little Kid Critic, Animated Kitten Critic, Sexy Female Critic, Invisible Critic (who might just be a wall), and Cameo Critic.
“Congratulations- it’s an IT.”
I was expecting to see the dancing clown/or Tim Curry honking bit over her scan for a moment...
I agree with everything you say Right!? You are not alone. I was SO primed for a jump cut to, “WAAAAA HA! WAAAA HAA! WAAA HAAA!”
@@maneckineckbeard1749 Can you imagine that happening in real life? You put your ear to your pregnant wife's tummy and you just hear "WAHA, WAHA, WAHA!!"
The intro was super easy, barely and inconvenience. LOL. Love Pitch Meeting.
Ripping off other youtubers is tight!
*barely an inconvenience
Wow wow wow
But the chart says.....
@@AverytheCubanAmerican
I see this speeling mistake so often, it's weird
If Alien 3 was made in the mid 1980s. It will be called Alien 3D.
or in the 2010's
Good grief
I agree.
Goddamn we dodged a bullet
Like that shit of jaws 3-d
Can we talk about how funny and talented Malcom is?? My boi is hilarious.
I know, poor wind
I love Malcom. He's my favourite actor other than the critic Himself.
The prisoner skit was pretty good, I've always liked cartoony gags in live action, it makes it surreal and hilarious.
Amen to that. In fact, I’m pretty sure that he’s now become my personal mental representation of The Devil. (Sorry, Peter Stormare from “Constantine.” You still get the runner-up crown, though.)
I’m not the only one who would want Malcolm to co-review a film with Doug in the near future, right?
Poor Wind, chasing the glory days of Twister.
And, eventually having to whore itself out, as the Co-monster in the low budget Sharknado series, for rent money.
He gets action in the Happening
@@amberace But it was mostly the threes that killed humanity.
Poetry, u make that up yourself? Not being sarky.
@@cjhepburn7406 I'm a wannabe writer lol
Bishop to Ripley:
*"I like what you've done with your hair."*
Turn up the volume to hear what the characters are saying, then get assaulted by a loud sound effect right after
Every horror movie ever
What was that? My ears are ringing.
I think that's the idea behind the stamps ad
That's what subtitles are P E R F E C T for.
The part with Ripley examining Newt’s corpse is hilarious 😂.
“Hi I’m Newt. I’m still alive and you saved me Ripley.”
movierocks get her away from the corpse
Hilarious and sad.
I gotta admit, that part did make me feel a touch guilty...for uncontrollably bursting into hysterical, hyena-like laughter!
Because really, what’s not to like about jokes involving the use of a child’s corpse as silly voiced hand puppets? That’s right up there with classic knee-slappers like Tarantino’s “shot in the face” sight gags, and Christopher Nolan’s Joker doing his “disappearing pencil trick!” Classic, classic hijinks, all of them.
😂
"You had relations with her didn't you?"
"I did."
Im dying. 😂😂😂
But, but, he's on the honor system. XDDDD
Only thing missing was “I appreciate your honesty. See, progress.”
...
...
...
"This prison sucks!"
Charity shout out
I was literally diagnosed with lupus this week. Funny how things line up
Thanks for the supporting it ❤
@Angel Alvarado thank you. That's very kind of you. I'm looking into treatments now so hopefully ill be ok
"knock knock"
"Who's there"
"My back, it wants you to get off of it"
I'm dead 🤣🤣
Jay Demo i wonder how many takes they had to do when he inevitably messed up and said "My back, it wants you to get off on it".
@@guthax30 Question
He needs to get waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off my back!
I love that Ryan George is getting love.
Oh really?
Probably the only TH-camr who does his own version of pitch meeting without undercutting what makes them funny.
The intro is glorious!
And that's coming from someone who really enjoys Alien 3...
I killed them all!
you monster!
@@MouseGoat I got really offended there for a second, because I thought you called me a monster for liking the movie...
Well, I get it now.
I enjoy Alien 3, just not as much as Alien or Aliens.
@@mrpell83 Yeah... I can get behind that.
21:03 Love that Hades reference. Gold.
Brandon Wells
That’s what it was; I knew I’ve seen it before, but couldn’t put my finger on it. Thanks for pointing it out.
Right!? Disney movies usually arent even my thing but I love that movie, and we all know Hades totallt steals the show
Plus its good to acknowledge the few good things that James Woods has given us.
Was it a reference? Seems too clever for Doug.
Hey at least WIND got his own movie called TWISTER 🌪
Fuck I didn't even think of that!
Eh... I guess that counts. I would have gone with The Happening. Although I guess there the wind and the trees are equally the villain.
They also had to "Stay ahead of it" in The Happening
14:20 This bit is so underrated! 😂
It’s so fucked up, but that’s part of why it’s so funny. 😂
14:23 😰😰😰" *Get her awaaaaay!* " 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Still my favorite bit😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
@@HolyRomanEmperor90 Omg you explained part of the Joke and that makes it so much funnyer 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Pointing out the obvious is so funny loooooooooooool
Idk whether to laugh or cry for wind. I felt so sorry for him. :(((
He gets royalty's from The Happening. So no worries mate.
Don’t worry wind, you’ll have plenty of parts in the Final Destination movies
"I am your biggest fan!"
Now i want an Alien movie where the Alien spits out one liners 😄😄😄😄
With Doug you don't know what you want until he give it to you..
You can always go read the Alien comic story about the Xenomorph that spat one liners, smoked cigars, and had a puppy.
Sounds stupid, no? It's a bit more clever than it sounds.
Holy shit I need to read this
What, Freddy Kreauger wasn't enough?
Haven't seen Alien 3 since I was a child, imagine my surprise when the explanation I (apparently?) constructed for the prison was that it was ONLY inmates with no way off the planet, and no weapons to hijack stray transports, so isolation and hopelessness led them to turn to fanaticism to try and survive as best they could, forced into cooperation by necessity, through dogma.
I have to thank 7 year old me for improving my view of the film. Slightly. Even if it was a misunderstanding - not sure if I have it in me to rewatch to verify whether that is the case though :P
You have issues
You were pretty damn smart for a 7 year old XD
@@Artemus973 Yeah, total BS
FINCHER: Seriously. I swear to God. She was like...what's her name in Peter Pan? She was like Wendy. And she would make up these stories. And in the end, there were these seven dwarfs left, and there was this f*cking tube they put her in, and they were waiting for Prince Charming to come wake her up. So that was one of the endings we had for this movie. You can imagine what Joe Roth said when he heard this. "What?! What are they doing over there?! What the f*ck is going on?!" ''
[PREMIERE magazine May 1992]
Ryan George: *angrily rips apart Aliens 3 Pitch Meeting script*
OMG Malcom as the wind had me cracking up!! Thanks for that!
He was great in “The Happening”.
The Weather ballon was also pretty great.
"I am .......... the wind." Remember the "Master of Disguise" review???? Apparently, Doug doesn't either.
Wasn’t it the wind in Twister, oh and Wind was an accomplice in The Happening, carrying the suicide pollen plants were making.
I literally just started watching Screen Rant Pitch Meetings this week!! Good skit, Doug!
+Tilt King Pitch Meetings is the best!
Omg me too!
Pretty sure Ripley's alien took longer to be born because it was a queen, and it only chose that moment to pop out because it could sense that it was in danger.
A Screen Rant style Pitch meeting?
A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one
Yeah ripping off other people and losing everyone on your website is tight.
pladampa3 It's a joke you idiot. And what about the droid attack on the Wookies?
Do fan scripition or do not fan scripition, there is no try.
@@matthewcooper4248 Unoriginality is the death of comedy.
@@pladampa shut up
Hades reference was on point. 👏👏❤️❤️
Ridley Scott: Guess what?
Guy: We’re gonna make a kickass movie and inspire a Metroid villain?
Ridley Scott: Yep.
Guy: Wow.
More like, we're going to nearly completely inspire Metroid from face hugging to one getting all maternal to bad ass heroine to Ridley the space pirate dragon.
and then ruin it with Other M, the Alien Resurrection of Metroid games
Fincher won't even talk about hellish experience he had with the studio and basically everything to do with the making of this film anymore...it almost broke him
And if he wants to keep working in Hollywood, he will NEVER talk about it. Not beyond the surface level.
do a nostalgia critic on the Will Smith movie, "Hancock", next
Nick Polk
Except that movie is good.
Nick Polk he liked that movie though. There's an old video where he says so.
Hancock is a good movie... Not Oscar worthy but it's a good movie..
"Your head us going up the drivers ass. Your head is going up his ass and you drew the short stick cause you head is going up my ass" brilliant movie
@@WhaleManMan The review could still be funny, though
Copying your opening from Screen Rant is incredibly simple, hardly an obstacle to overcome.
Referencing a screenrant quote in your comment is tight
Wow this comment must have taken a while to make
Not really a barley an inconvenience
@@Ray-Guy18002 I see you have quite the rye wit.
KaptainKatzyVA Fair enough.
GIVE. THE WIND. A JOB. DANGIT.
I felt sorry for the wind at the end.
Poor wind. :(
Godzilla king of the monsters
Someone needs to tell him that it might be time to give up his dreams of Hollywood stardom, and just move to the San Gorgonio Pass in SoCal. We have dozens of square kilometers of wind farms that are always hiring...and the pay for generating power here is better than anywhere else in the USA. Coal, natural gas and water would kill for a chance at SoCal Edison’s monopoly on kilowatt hour rates! Seriously- word is that The Wind has a labor union in Riverside County that offers killer benefits and a solid pension plan...Hollywood Wind should turn in his SAG card and join up.
After all, in this economy, who can afford to NOT explore midlife career changes or job transfers, amirite? And I hear the wind farms even provide comprehensive on-the-job training: “Blow through the windmill vanes. Make them turn. Once they’re turning, keep them turning.”
pff ~ *blow* me :p
I just want to hug him 😢.
"I did"... Jesus, Malcolm was great on that one
Great job on the pitch meeting opener, good laughs. Keep it up you guys =)
Agreed
Garbage
Jew wario
@@pladampa the fuck man
Cheer up, The Wind. There's a Ray Bradbury short story where you are the villain! The book is always better than the movie, anyway.
Holy crap a Pitch Meeting opening...😂 This is BRILLIANT!!! 🙌😁
that was him making fun of Screen Rant's Pitch Meetings
It'll be super easy barely an inconvenience
It kinda felt like david mamet wrote it.
Yeah amazing he ripped off someone's idea.
@@pladampa calm down
Fox: "How can we escalate the xenomorph threat after Aliens?"
Warhammer 40K: "Giant xenomorphs, humanoid infiltration xenomorphs, biomechanical weapons and ships, global reconnaissance, infestation, assault, subjugation, and absorption..."
Fox: "Let's make this one a dog."
At this point we need a R rated animated 40k series
One of those is a fetish and is the MOST frightening......
"Its just The wind they say but its never the wind"😂😂😂 that made me laugh THE HARDEST this whole video . poor Malcolm
19:55 - "No, NO! This is my time to shine! The wind will have it's day!"
The Wind had it's day...it was called the world-premier of "The Happening" and literally no other day before or since. The Wind had it's day, and it blowed; it didn't shine. 👍
It's also time for Doug's head to shine
its*
Please review Scooby Doo! Curse of the Lake Monster (2010)
Deshawn Edwards I remember that film! I loved it as a kid
oh good, i thought i was hallucinating because it's nothing like the other movies.
Well thank you for introducing me to Pitch Meetings.
This is one of the best openings you've ever done.
literally a rip off from another video about GoT
doing a realistic impression of pitch meetings is tight
12:50-13:31 Grandpa Simpson: Turn it up! TURN IT UP!
My god that Hades joke from Disney's Hercules was so awesome! XD
I was going to mention it but I'm lazy and I was sure someone else did ^^
21:06
Wind had a role in "The Happening."
This is one of Doug's best openings ever! THE BIGGEST MOUTH-OPEN SMILE ON MY FACE
_Alien 3_
Giorgio: I'm not saying it was aliens but it was ALIENS
No no, that was the previous one.
Comedy gold as usual. Cheers from Taiwan!!
20:41 Yeah but she doesn't know. If they cut the scene you would just ask how the hell she knew everything. Plus it gave us a proper goodbye to Bishop.
Then just cut the scene at the start that shows us how it crashed so we’re left in the dark until this scene. It takes way too much time to re-establish what we already know.
Either that or cut this scene down so it’s not burning so much time.
For anyone interested the original 3rd movie pitch was just made into an audiobook with a full cast for the anniversary.
Thank you for commenting this!
Could you provide a link, please?
That's awesome, will have to look into that. Thanks!
It was also a comic miniseries that just finished.
@@kman2384 It's an Audible original, I tried to copy the link but it kept bouncing me to the app. If you Google Audible Alien 3 William Gibson it pops right up.
Holy Shit that entire part at 11:57 had me laughing the entire time. "OK"...."I DID".
I agree! That was my favorite part. It's amazing how these stupid Nostalgia Critics can make me laugh harder than most modern Hollywood comedies. They have such an understanding of comedic timing.
Mark Hazleton same
He’s hilarious 😂
I mean...it’s not like a “dog alien”(runner)would be biologically simpler then a warrior(human)or a queen would be more complex and take longer to birth a a regular xenomorph right?
That's what I always thought!
9:30 in Psycho, Marion’s death ultimately brings the people to the Bates Motel and the Bates house who will discover his secrets. In Nightmare on Elm Street, her death is blamed on the boyfriend and brings everything to action for the characters in the movie. Later on in Nightmare 4, the last of the Elm Street children are killed off towards the beginning so that the Alice character can start becoming the “Dream Master” - all early deaths that impacted the plot.
Alright, I was a little angry until you mentioned the Ryan George Pitch Meetings. Those are AMAZING! Good homage!
@John Wesley Harding Ridley in the alien franchise is Tight
10:18 I was expecting Rob to replace Doug for the rest of the review
But thank God it didn't 🤣
That would be a great little change
I just got done watching a pitch meeting before watching this.
BEST INTRO EVER!!!!!!!!!
You and me both.
Which one was it before you found this one
Was it super easy - barely an inconvenience?
I remember seeing Alien 3 for the first time when I was 12 years old and being mainly just flat out confused with what was happening. I didn't think it necessarily was a bad Alien film, I just thought it was kinda vague, boring and all around mind fucking. Especially seeing people like Hicks and Newt just killed off instantly. I wasn't even pissed really just confused as to why the main characters were killed off and why the studio chose a grossly under par story with 0 Alien action. It didn't make much sense to me then. Maybe with today's technology they could enhance the special effects and patch over some glaring editing issues.
The only technology that can fix this POS is a time machine so you can go back and burn that script before it gets made into a movie.
"It would be insane to keep these things going."
Me: Haha....
Alien movies: We were supposed to stop?
Hay we got Alien Isolation out of it. The best of all Alien media.
Stephany Brown “never”!
Stephany Brown please show me your ears
That opening, it hurts because it felt so real, that's probably what happened 😂
The knock knock jk was awesome too.
TheHunterWolf watch screen rant who does it all the time.
Missed opportunity to have Willy Wonka shout 'MUMBLER!'
nii niinäät äitia jokon
mun ja äitiin suhe on se että meillä ei oo era ku tähtii
kumpiki mittaa maaailmaa
haluasikko kuulla
haluasikko oikiasti kuulla
This actually made me feel bad for wind😭
I was just about to say this reminds me of Ryan George AND THEN HE ACKNOWLEDGED IT! Darn it.
3:54 Barry B. Benson: “You like jazz?”
Nostalgia Critic: “NO!”
Barry B. Benson explodes. XD
18:17 I hear they’re having steamed hams. XD
APOLLOROCK3R
I yelled “NO!” When NC did
Thx for repeating what happened 🙌🏼
I think the prison dog owner was using “animal” to describe his fellow inmates.
But why when i see the movie is a dead cow that chestbusting?
@@1406-u7q You probably saw the Director's cut version of the movie that featrues a cow instead of the dog being chestbusted.
On the differing gestation rates: I always saw it as Queens probably take longer to gestate, and since the alien uses DNA from the host as part of it's genetic makeup (which is why the dog alien looks and moves different), the fact that dogs mature faster and have shorter lifespans is why it hatched so quickly from the dog.
That sounds plausible.
I loved the Hades bit from Herceles.
Thank you for making my day filled with laughter.
Critic I'm begging you, do a Beowulf review recently watched it again (use to watch it as a kid) and I cant even fathom the amount of jokes you could make
The Zemeckis Mo-cap one? That'd be interesting.
Please say that you mean the Christopher Lambert one.
those first three minutes
could have been the entire review
and it would still have been hilarious .w.
-comedic gold.