How can one live with a husband who does not care? | J. Krishnamurti
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ธ.ค. 2013
- Bombay (Mumbai) 1984 - Question #3 from Question and Answer Meeting #1
'How can one live with a husband who does not care?'
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I love his opening statement. "I do not know"
In a talk with Dr. Bohm (1976), Krishnamurti spoke that if an image exist when viewing the self and others, a relationship is impossible. As that self image (one of being a wife or husband, of being this or that, of the identity of being you) is all-consuming. And so it is impossible to have a relationship to another other as one only sees that through that image. And only when the image no longer exists, can one have a relationship without illusion. Illuminating talk. Makes logical sense.
Not just illusion I agree with all what you said though but in simple terms he simply means that if one ever loved the other they would've tried to wear their shoes (as you said looking past their self-image) and when that happens there would be a mutual understanding about how practically life and expression of love and care are fundamentally dependent upon the simple fact that do you have the physical energy and mental space leftover to think about caring and loving each other as a life partner ? Or are you so consumed up in the rush of life to cope up with its complexities in different forms ?
All I could understand was that the thing which is needed to be done is to have a mutual understanding as well as brainstorming sessions with any potential life partner before making decisions to spend the rest of our life with him/her that are we at the same level of understanding about how we are going to not just handle the complexities of life together but also handle or cope up with the lack of love and care which might arise depending on how engaged or entangled are we in our professional lives ?
These are important and crucial questions one needs to ask and discuss around before making a decision as big as marrying someone.
K asks some very important questions in this video. What is a husband? What is a wife? What is marriage? These are questions people should be asking themselves before mindlessly jumping into a relationship.
thank you for posting
A desire realm question put it to a truth reveler that told us self-centered desire is what get us to this mess in the first place! We're born, live, love, learn, and die in solitude. And in this solitude our spirit is free. Opposite (or same) sex relation is conditional (find me a great love story that physical beauty is not a prerequisite. I wonder if Quasimodo would die for Esmeralda if she wasn't stunningly beautiful), ego-based and society-conditioned. Most couples are co-dependent at best, majority are wars of the egos and a few are just complementary to achieve a goal (sexual, procreation or adhere to tradition). Love that K is discussing is pure, unconditional, ego-less and humanity-based. Thanks K and friends.
So true and thats why this concept of marriage is losing its importance and is on decline... No point staying together without love
nobody have to have live for 40-50 years togather. but family is a good investigated foundation to take care old parents and children.
if you love or not it never coninues till forever. everythin is in evolution. love is a trap for man and woman. by this way they become the slave of the society. they work hard to keep children and old parents in safe. and marriage is not good for personality but good for society. in conclusion who marry is not silly but stupid.
@@ZenOfKursat so deep words, bluntly true
@@ZenOfKursatit's nothing but search for security. Security in other human beings
Good answer. He showed the reality of husband wife relationship.
The question is: How does something like that happen in the first place? Answer: Twisted mommy care is how it happens. The maternal instincts in women cast in the wrong direction, and a big baby is consuming your time and attention. Get out of the twisted mommy care vacuum and just walk away. Because he is not a baby anymore.
It's not so easy when you have kids and a huge debt and a society that looks down upon you... I have a friend and her husband used to get drunk and beat her.. He once threw a hot pan on her face.. Then she decided to leave him with her daughter.. She initially went to her father's house and there her brother eventually taunted her.. Then she started working and now she lives alone, she can't even go to her brother's house although she wishes to meet her parents.. It's not like they stop her but they don't receive her warmly and the whole society, her neighbors act in the same manner... She says earlier just one man was punishing me and now the whole world is.. Im not saying one should not leave, I personally would but it's difficult for people who are in these situations, especially women..
Same thing with men. While generations of entitled men who are all about "claiming" or "protecting" women and children, and for what? To breed other men, women and children who do nothing but hate in their day-to-day? Don't you pin this on women, it's all of humanity, and you're guilty of it, same as I.
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How can i find the full speech
Honessty
🚶🏻♀️you go on a hiking trip with a backpack and when you get back, you will have your answer.
obviously someone figured out that he didn't care. So the wife already knows this then she knows she has to adjust to live that way or maybe not.
Maybe she could find out if she could inquire into why he doesn't care without judging him
“Put up with it or get out”. That’s the summary. Save your 9 min. I guess what else can one say. Although it shouldn’t take 9 min to say it lol
That was not what he suggesting. He was pointing out that that is what people actually do, either they put up with it or they quit, he was saying what they should do. If there was any suggestion, it was to put the question to oneself, not to the speaker...
Throughout his life, K repeatedly pointed out that neither of those actions (tolerance, escape) are the answer to suffering in relationship. What would it mean to face conflict? Why are we living with images? Krishnamurti has challenged humanity to investigate into those questions, as he found our neglect of understanding those things to be the fundamental problem in all human relationship.
@@TipTheScales That's right the speaker offers us the ability to ask the questions we never came up with.
K. never spoke to answer our questions. He spoke to broaden them. The reason people listen isn't to get answers, it's to get more questions.
Tyco Brahe 2 minutes of silence for your IQ 😂
The fisrt mistake of marital status is hoping your wife/husband to be a such a nice person without changing..🤗
Many times there is the abuser and the abused who continue to say "But I Love him" says the abused. Do you Love him or... Not Like yourself?
It's obvious Krishnamurti did not find the right woman in his life.
Ok, in this video it is not so obvious. But in other video's and in his books, I sometimes got the feeling that he has not met the other half of his soul. But maybe I am wrong. Don't know if there is such a thing as twin souls ( or soul mates) in Hinduism.
Well, I didn't write that he is still a hinduist. I wondered if there is such a thing as soulmates in Hindusim. So ,when this is the case, he would have known. I do believe that a sacred soul connection can lead to enlightment. I never heard him speak about this. I think he had some form of enlightment, but not met his soulmate.
Klein Hummeke I hope you heard of Sankhya Philosophy. Shiva-Shakti. In profound words Dad-Mom.
Gopi Krishna Interesting! Thanks.
+Klein Hummeke Is there something as the right woman? Why there is a need to search for something? A partner, material possession, social recognition, so forth so on. Is it because one feels empty and needs something to be fulfilled? I think that's what Krishnamurti meant with his answer. When we find that which we were looking for, we feel good. And when we lose it, we feel bad. Is this happiness at all? Or is it just an illusion? It's like a dog trying to bite his own tail.