On conflictual relationships | J. Krishnamurti
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.ย. 2017
- Saanen 1981 - Question #1 from Question & Answer Meeting #3
'If two people have a relationship of conflict and pain, can they resolve it or must the relationship end? To have a good relationship isn't it necessary for both to change?'
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these 25 mins brings me out of my depression.
This was so valuable for me. I have been in a relationship for more than 2 years and even though I was so completely delighted to have someone to share my existence with, there was always a nagging sense of conflict because of our individual differences, and eventually the relationship became very imbalanced because of our difference in values. I did not care so much about myself, I always put her interests first, and this led to a conflict once I realised "Wait... She's not changing, but I am changing, and I'm being swallowed". I am just as egotistic as the next westerner but I at least have a faith in dissolving my ego, being present and not just trying to view everything as a tool to go forward in my aspirations, but then you risk meeting people who don't really share this value, and they can end up draining you quite a lot before you realise the incompatibility. I see the contradiction here, perhaps it is me being selfish because I am afraid of losing myself in another person, but it is what it is, I could not bear it.
Bravo 👏 Well said
I have exactly the same going on .. after 3,5 years I had to quit ,, I got depressed because it swallowed me and changed me and did everything for her .. but it hurt me now it’s over but in a few months I wil feel better
I was in a year long relationship too. Recently broke up because "our opinions and views don't match" as she said. I tried to break her out of her conditioning but I just failed. Everything she said was just so conditioned, dry, dead, repetitive. Not even trying to understand but to repeat the same argument again and again. Ever since then I have just lost all sensitivity. The only person i talked to left me too now. Everything in this world just feels so wrong. I tried explaining her till the very end but she just accepted that she wants to live the way she is conditioned. So many contradictory stuff she told, so many baseless arguments. I am just tired.
Are u over her now? I am in the same situation.
Perhaps the problem was that she was the only person to talked to, and she was burdened by that?
As they say, what's common between you and all the relationships you have - YOU. When you transform this common denominator, all your relationships have the possibility of transforming.
Wow 👌
This is life-changing insight seriously. Man I love Krishnamurti.
Best I have seen rather than ruckass relationship coaches giving advices to increase ego
To love is unconditional; but relationships are conditional.
this is profound in many ways -- I see this with my mother. We just want to meet but many conditions are put so that the meeting never takes places. It's paradoxical that all you want is to be together and meet and you make it so difficult at the same time it's crazy honestly. And it happens constantly. It's so pervasive in human relationships that I feel we will never get over it. It's like a game: there are rules and steps one must make in order to be considered a winner, in order to be worthy. Paradoxically the prize was there all along, there was no need to follow the rules so strictly, love could have been given from the very beginning so that the game is just a game and is not taken so seriously to the point where you are both unhappy and unsatisfied. You were demanding too much and that prevented you from giving love
OH MY GOD HE IS GENIUS.
U made my confusion cleared, I though he is she.
May be , this one post appears to me in timely; I had this question in real.. and it came... one has to be relentless in right living..and the other gets attracted to it !
Thank you for this, sir. Really. Thank you very much
Thanks so much for sharing this!! 🙌
Thank you Sir!
Thank You !
I come bcak here and every time I heard something different ❤️
❤❤❤
Oh my god.
Good thaughts
I wish that you would do a transcript of your videos
Please provide english subtitle
9:00 14:05
Very well explained Rijesh. Thanks. . . .but; how do you think one gets to that feeling of oneness, feeling in the heart, blood, depth of ones being etc. (as K says). Can it be through any action, effort of ours ? I have tried (effort) but always end up in conflict; at the office at home etc etc................
What if I am that She ( with some flaws?!) but He is not at all thoughtful and constantly pulling me in that area, testing my every limit, provoking me or trying to hurt me, my children, my parents in this way or that way......
Leave him....ìf not possible..Leave him psychologically ..
What is your limit? Isn't it's the self? Trying to hurt ? May be you are hurt and your husband is just the reflection of you. Have insight. Every word your husband uses is your subconscious or consciousness. Then the other person will change. Change happen without knowing.
The root of this conflict is pride or ego....
Thought/knowledge applied psychologically, is the root of conflict.
We are thought
Justin Lucido don't mixed up...if u have pride u will lose everything...bcz u thought u always get what you want and u will feel disappointed if u can't...
Emelita Basco ... I’m sorry I’m not following u. Could u so kindly explain a little more?
Justin Lucido are u single or in a relationship??I'm sorry if I asked u this...if ur single u will not get what I really mean...if u are in a relationship u should give and take, understand each other flaws,and must have a good communication....for example u argued with ur gf or wife and being a man u should talked to her and dont go to sleep until u solved the problem..don't go to sleep if both of u are angry to each other...bt... If u have a pride and ur thinking that's it's not ur fault or whatever and u don't want to talk....I bet the relationship will end...hope u understand what I really mean.....