Therapist Reacts to THE KISSING BOOTH Part 1 of 2 (SO MUCH REACTING)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ม.ค. 2023
- Join Thrive Market today to get 30% off your first order AND a FREE gift worth up to $60! thrivemarket.com/cinematherapy
Is The Kissing Booth Twilight with more energy? Is The Kissing Booth Baywatch with teenagers? Do you even know what Baywatch is?
Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright have recovered from the Twilight series, and the internet demands their pain, so now they’re reacting to The Kissing Booth. They cringe at how the film lusts at and objectifies high schoolers. They groan at the overused tropes of the boring good guy and the bad guy with a heart of gold who happens to be hot and rich. The Kissing Booth is lusty and icky, but at least it has good energy and humor… sometimes.
Watch part 2 where we get to watch more toxic teenage relationships. Yay... • Therapist Reacts to TH...
Support us!
Patreon: / cinematherapy
Merch: store.dftba.com/collections/c...
Internet Dads Popcorn: ctpopcorn.com
Cinema Therapy is:
Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, Alan Seawright, and Corinne Demyanovich
Edited by: David Sant
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis
Connect with us!
Website: www.thecinematherapy.com
Discord: / discord
Instagram: / therapy_cinema
TikTok: / therapy_cinema
Twitter: / therapy_cinema
Facebook: / therapycinema - ภาพยนตร์และแอนิเมชัน
I can't have been the only person who gasped out loud when Noah suddenly slammed his hand on the car door, screaming at Elle to get in. And even worse, he doesn't take her home, but to a secluded place. He's not suave or charming, he's an emotional abuser whose behaviour is disturbingly romanticised.
Oh, I jumped back in my seat when that happened… it’s far too scary to be in a “romantic” movie…
I legit got a little bit of anxiety when that happened. Felt scared for her.
This!👏🏽
I really did not like their relationship 😅 so many red flags
I know right?? So many people just totally glossed over that scene
"He's been Edwarding all over the place" Alan just created a new slang and I'm here for it.
my favorite part was when he went it's edwarding time and then he edwarded all over the place
Amen.
@@sofiacummings5574 Oh no here we go again 🤣🤣
Just came to the comment section to watch out for this ^^
he wishes he could be edward.
I'll never forget how Lee saw Elle hurt and assumed that Noah was abusing her. It takes a lot for someone to think that way of their own sibling
Or experience 😬
likeee
When Noah gave Lee a wedgie for touching his motorcycle or perhaps hitting him for a small stupid reason as preteens.
@@HidingInPlainS1ghtor just the fact that he's known for fighting and hurting ppl when he gets pissed off
@@ToyotaCorolla-en2mv Well, I’d like to think he never fought or hit girls considering how big he is compared to all the girls that go to their school 😭
I had a childhood 'friend' that did something like Noah. He was my only friend and I found out senior year that he'd told every person in my class that we were dating and that they better not talk to me. It wasn't even just boys. It was everyone. I went to a tiny highschool and by sophomore year everyone ignored me. I was so depressed, wondering why no one liked me, and b/c he was my only friend, I talked to him about it. It's insane, and I'm still dealing with the after effects. He's part of the reason that I left my home town. It irritates me so much that this behavior is so frequently portrayed as romantic. Living it, is horrifying.
That's so horrible. I hope your life's gotten better since.
Jesus fucking Christ, I'm so fucking sorry goddamn that motherfucking sleazeball bitchfaced asshole....idk why this made me so angry but it does.
Tldr; you deserved fucking better.
@@RisaPlays Oh, it has. My life's much better since I've cut him and a few others out of life. Currently, I'm having a great time with my sibling, my best friend, and my three cats. ☺️ Thanks!
@@kadefletcher6663 omg I’m so glad you’re doing so much better and that you’re somewhere you feel comfortable living at. I hope you always have things to smile and laugh about~
@@anyone1111 Thanks! Although the group is small, I have people in my life that are just as wacky as I am, and I love the time spent with them. My cat's also make me laugh every day with their antics. Lol. Gotta love two blacks with a little tortie. Together they're max chaos. Lol
“The days of you controlling my life are over.”
“We’ll see about that.”
Behold my earth-sized red flag 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
You wave that flag. Wave it high and long. Spell out RUN in semaphore, because that's the message everyone should be getting from that scene.
those are yellow flags on my screen
And the worst part is this is based from a story from wattpad.
So the part where they said an 11 year old wrote this is probably true
Lol, that means the teenager in me really liked the movies. I need to heal and grow up those parts!
Wait, it’s based on a Wattpad story?
Wait, it’s based on a Wattpad story?
@@ultimatebishoujo29 yep
I just looked it up cause "no fucking way" right? Holy shit you weren't kidding. 15y/o girl had the Wattpad story published as a novel too and that's how it got picked up for a movie, wild. I thought 50 Shades being Twilight fanfiction was bad 😂
Sexualizing teenages is a huge problem in our culture. Thank you for pointing out how inappropriate it is. It's honestly been used to remove the stigma from pedophilia. Hollywood is leading us down a very bad path.
None of them were actual teens tho. These actors were in their 20s
@@SamiLo2that doesn’t matter…..and if that’s the case, then why don’t they try having these 20+ year old actors and actresses play college roles? Why does it have to be a show or a movie about teens in high school?
It’s like Hollywood is trying to tell us “yes this type of stuff does happened, yes we want you to see it but to be okay with it”
Stigma isn't good though, and we don't need it to counter pedophilia. It's bad in a logical way, no stigma is needed. If we just believe it's bad because it 'just is', then that allows politicians etc. to manipulate and find loopholes so we won't be able to actually think about why it's wrong and it increases the amount of it
@@SamiLo2but that’s not the point. The characters are teens. That’s all that matters.
As an asexual teenager, my teenage experience was wild with how un-wild it was
Eyyyyyyy same!
aces unite!!!!!!!
Yep, none of this. "You're missing out!" No, no I really don't think I am
@@MiriaJiyuu if anything we absolute regret it and never wanna do it again
yo same! everybody out here acting wild and im just like... dont you guys have better things to do? its over rated 😅
I want to make a movie exactly like this. A romance full of red flags, but played as cute and fun for the first 3/4 of the film. Then the guy turns from cute to violently abusive. The climax of the movie is her finally deciding to leave and figuring out how to excape. The trailers will only play up the fun romance, so maybe the people who need that dose of reality the most will go see it.
I would probably not watch that because the trailer would not make me interested - but I LOVE the idea of this! Especially if the woman isn't just suddenly thrown into "Huh, he is actually violent!" but is starting to see the signs and slowly becoming more aware of his controlling nature. And when she tries to get some freedom, like going out with friends more or sleeping over at a (female) friend, he starts to show his aggressive side in a way even the most block-headed viewers will understand.
I don't inherently hate the idea of a movie that shows the traumatic way relationships like this often go in reality. That's information people need. But the idea of intentionally trying to deceive people in the way that it's marketed just sounds like a great way to accidentally catch people with genuine trauma off guard and potentially trigger painful memories.
@@cricket8875 totally agree, I think a good way to avoid this would be maybe including like a girl best friend talking about him like: "is he really a good person?" -cuts to sleepover scene and he's sending loads of texts to his girlfriend - cuts to him acting cute and protective of her in public and then to the best friend looking over - I say this because in the trailer it can be played off as her being jealous of her best friend getting a boyfriend ect ect but in actuality of the ending she recognises the so called red flags she can see from being an outsider of their relationship and ends up helping her best friend escaping that situation. The film could even have a scene where the victim asks if her best friend is mad at her for not listening/pushing her away ect and she replies saying "I was never mad at you, and I'm sorry for not fighting for you, for our friendship" concluding that it was neither of their faults for what happened. Yes sorry this was a bit of a rant but the whole thing is it plays on the whole innocent movie thing while hinting the sinister tone enough that it may warn people who may be triggered in advance. And of course realistically warnings will be played in the beginning of the film in cinemas 👍
@@frizzlethecat2084 maybe they should make the trailer in the same way as the Joker did
The Onion has already done it for you. They've got a video called smth like Meet my cute boyfriend, or some such. Do check it out. There's also a feature film called The Berlin Syndrome, which I haven't seen because I thought I would be too disturbed, and the trailer hints at smth along the lines you talk about.
"If we were in pictures together, I'd put you on an apple box." is the most romantic filmmaker-geek line I've ever heard.
It was the best way to end this video, honestly. I laughed away the ick the movie was leaving on me 😂
Do not put others on a pedestal. Put them on apple box.
no, it's not. this is an offense
@@chirduck How is it an offense? It makes sense on a purely aesthetic level (more balanced pictures), and a psychological level (he's not looming over her) and it shows that he cares she looks her best. This isn't a dig against short people being short.
@@boginoid no it doesn't make sense. making fun of something person can't change about themself is not cool. and let's divide their height difference and they way they treat each other. there is nothing wrong with representation of different kinds of couples, even if you're lookist, who thinks its not aesthetic. choosing couples based on innate features makes you sound like a nazi (in a different way, but you get it)
When Noah says, "The independent Elle Evans, who *doesn't want to be told what to do by anybody,* is coming to me for help." I always think, "But, she didn't ask to be told what to do. She asked for help. Those can be mutually exclusive."
Yes! Asking for help is not becoming dependent.
Think the theory behind it is that it's because of her independence that she doesn't like to be told what to do. And also that in asking for help she actually was asking him what to do to get his help so it was supposed to be irony for him . I'm just saying
Beth Reekles actually wrote the original Kissing Book story when she was 15, her having been 15 explains most of the writing
Ohhh yeah that adds up. We all wrote cringey self-inserts like this at that age. The problem is adults looking at that and going "Yep seems like a healthy message to portray on screen." I mean tbh it's no wonder young teens write stuff like this when this is what they have to go off of.
What that doesn't explain is why it got adapted into a movie.
Only on Netflix
As someone with a cinema degree, I absolutely LOVE Alan's audiovisual rage at the lack of an apple box 😂😂😂 "WHO *SHOT* THIS?" I felt that in my bones 😂
As soon as Alan described the apple box I immediately thought of the one used in X Files that was used for Gillian Anderson or for Natalie Portman in the Thor movies
As someone with no cinema degree, what were they thinking?? They could’ve had him squat or spread his feet apart to appear shorter, or do other forces perspective angles. Adult relationships with height differences are fine, but when it’s being shown like this in regards to high school kids it’s weird.
"Oh, look! There's an armpit!"
As soon as he said “apple box”, all I could think about was the movie Tall Girl.
The second he said apple box, I thought of Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford in Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back, that famous first kiss between Han and Leia. Carrie was a good foot shorter than Harrison so they put her on an apple box to keep him in the frame with him for that scene.
The trend of abusive/controlling men becoming obsessed with one girl and trying to “own” her has been a big theme in pop culture for the last I’d say decade, and I wonder if the reason is because in a society that goes out of their way to make women feel insecure, the idea that an unassuming woman could drive a man to show such intense emotion is “empowering.” In reality its really disturbing, bc if you’ve never been targeted by an abusive predator, it’s one of the worst things a person can go through. It happened to me, and sure the love-bombing stage felt amazing, but over time, I was pulled apart and rendered a broken mess that took YEARS to put myself back together, and in some ways, I will always be marked by that experience. Hollywood needs to stop selling the idea that possessive/abusive behavior is romantic. Its dangerous and cruel.
These teen rom coms are mostly written by middle aged men. It's hard to find something normal and romantic. Maybe Jane Austin.
The fact that they are being marketed as romantic movies for teens instead of some cautionary tales is really disturbing to me. The impressionable teens watching these movies are going to think these behaviours are normal and romantic instead of toxic,which can be very dangerour for them. This movie especially has some dangerous and awful messages like: " it's your fault if you get s€xualy assaulted" or " it's totally safe to go to a dark secluded place with a person who is stronger than you and has a history of anger issues and being a player", or " go on a date with a person who assaulted you "(at least she told her best friend where she was going and with who).
This movie could have been great if it started with Elle in therapy or in a divorce court,and if it treated the story as a cautionary tale.
@@cheriremily9360 this movie may have been directed by a man, but it was originally written by a 15/yo on wattpad. So... make of that what you will.
@@AD-dg3zz A 15 years old who grew up consuming this type of message and thought it was completely normal. It keeps happenning only because older people who should be correcting those beliefs and behaves are encouraging it to keep going. This sh* needs to stop and it will only be able to if the adults in charge stop spreading the misinformation
I think the main reason it's romanticized is to excuse toxic/sexist behavior because then toxic and sexist men don't have to change their awful behavior and how they interact with/view women as objects for their own desires. In fact, it's portrayed as charming so why would they change? I think the spin on it that women are "empowered" by it is to make it easier to excuse the behavior while also making women easier to manipulate if they find themselves in these situations and relationships because they're gonna think this trash is normal and even desirable so why would they leave a guy who is treating them this way since it's framed as "romantic" rather than abusive. It also makes it more difficult for others to call out this behavior now that it's been supplanted with a 'positive' spin since most people will say that the woman likes this toxic behavior so what's the issue if she is 'willingly' staying because she can 'obviously see' what's going on. Unfortunately people don't know enough about trauma bonding and how that warps your ability to see that you're being manipulated and made codependent by this behavior in the first place. Plus if this romantic portrayal is what you're constantly exposed to, you're not going to see the behaviors as the huge red flags that they are because they've been so normalized.
TDLR: Having this kind of portrayal of toxic behavior as romantic lets terrible men continue to be terrible while also allowing them to also get the girl because she won't realize that he's abusive and will think it's normal and even romantic that he's like that. It also prevents others from calling out these behaviors because of its normalization which lets the abuse get brushed aside fairly easily by bystanders and/or the woman in the relationship.
You cannot believe how long I’ve wanted you guys to react to Kissing Booth. I was literally like “If they think Twilight is bad (which it is), they’re gonna have an absolute field day with Kissing Booth”
Better or worse then 50 shades of grey
@@netanellinzer9364 Better or worse than After.
twilight is so bad it’s good. can’t say the same for all the wattpad movies that tried to recreate what twilight did
Now they need to do The Duff.
@@Craigskaters maybe I'm misremembering, but I don't think there's any abuse in The Duff - besides actually calling her that - but the guy doesn't use that to manipulate her into dating him, right?
10:29 Regarding Jacob Elordi, he genuinely seems like a good guy overall. I've seen interviews with him and he seems a pretty soft spoken, down-to-earth kind of guy. He really likes film, historical and otherwise, and he's a pretty good actor imo. I often think about why he gets these kinds of parts and honestly it's probably just his physicality -- he's a big guy 6'5" and he looks imposing on screen. I would also like to note that the casting for his romantic counterparts in both The Kissing Booth and in Euphoria are 15 inches and 11 inches shorter than him, respectively. It creates a certain optic. He talked about the focus on his physical presence being somewhat frustrating, actually, since it ends up taking up a lot of time that he would prefer to recenter around his performances.
I hope he'll get some different roles that allow him to show that he can play something other than "the abusive asshole". Must be frustrating to be typecast like that :c
That makes WAY too much sense
The female gaze is not just the male gaze but focused on hot men. The male vs female gaze is the difference between Suicide Squad and Birds of Prey. They're both focused on the attractiveness of the same character, but they come from entirely different angles.
Exactly. Heck, The Suicide Squad (2021), also directed and written by a man, does a good job of not objectifying Harley as a character and showing her growth as a character in terms of opening up to the possibility of being cared for by others, and being able to see and stand up about red flags in the guys she’s interested in
hmmmmm
exactly female and male gaze are very different
Thank you!! Was looking for this comment.
Yes thank u that's exactly what u thought
I watched this movie with my grandma because she was sick of watching animated movies with me and wanted a "romantic" one.
Through the entire movie I kept feeling red flag alarms setting off in my head, while she was watching it passionately as if it was Romeo and Juliet. I still don't understand how she didn't feel creeped out
Edit: Guys, enough with the Romeo and Juliet rants please😭😭😭 I know its a tragedy story, I only meant it as a joke.
Well, she wouldn't be the only one. I'm 38 and due to lack of experience, I didn't notice any red flags - so it's going to be good to learn from this analysis. I liked both movies. Must be the unhealed teenager inside me lol
It might be because she was raised to accept that sort of treatment and because a lot of movies (especially older ones) glamorized it and makes it seem desirable.
Because sexual assault was completely normal in her day and husbands could legally rape their wives until literally the 90s.
It's possible that old films of your grandma's generation used many of the same problematic tropes, and she was conditioned to accept them.
That happened with my grandma, too. Sometimes we watch romantic movies and we’re exactly like that.
The part at 7:48 when Allan is mimicking the shy girl, reminds me of Merida's father pretending to be merida in brave, when he is encouraging his wife the queen to talk to Merida
Which is a hilarious scene.
Ugh, the whole telling other boys not to ask her out... that was a major factor in me not being able to get a date all through high school. The guy told all our mutual friends (and anyone else who would listen) that we were a couple, and we never were. I tried asking guys out a few times, in a very "it's just hanging out" kind of way, and got all sorts of "but what about P----?" responses that took a long time to figure out.
(this is a joke) should have just taken a megaphone and yelled out in the halls "Me and P aren't dating, never have, never will!"
Should there be rules in friendships? No. Should there be boundaries? Yes!!
Rule: Never hook up with anyone from your BFF's family.
Boundary: If you hook up with my brother, then you are not my BFF.
Pretty much the same thing, just labelled differently. Either way, she overstepped because her hormones meant more to her.
aren't boundaries rules?
@@strandedinseattle9931 I disagree with that rule. Don't tell me who I should fall in love with. If you are going to control me we can't be friends. That is my boundary.
@@mia-saraking5479 Most things I've seen label rules as something you impose on someone else vs a boundary that is something you draw a line for to protect yourself. I'm not sure I explained that very well but there is a difference.
Rule: You are not allowed to swear in front of me or you can't be my friend.
Boundary: I am not friend with people who swear.
As stranded in Seattle said; "you are not allowed to hook up with your best friend's brother" is not the same as "I am not comfortable being best friends with someone who is hooking up with y brother." Its about imposing action vs drawing a line.
@@strandedinseattle9931and his objefication of her was more important to him
("My brother always had everything and you're the only thing I had that he didn''t")
I'm not sure if it was mentioned, but the fact that Noah was kissing another girl but completely prevents and controls Shelly's opportunities of being in a relationship is maddening. Especially since it is being shoved under the rug as him being "Omg he's so protective of her but he's a baaaddd boy."
I know, right? And then the narrative goes out of its way to villainise the 'other girl' who, while a bit snotty, was not the one trying to get into Elle's pants for the majority of the movie. Plus one could see her rude behaviour as her being understandably upset and insecure over the hot guy she was with just blatantly ditching her for another girl. Noah, however, just gets a free pass, and is even seen as the hero for 'rescuing' the heroine from the girl he chose to snog. Argh!
It’s great you guys touched on the sexualization of high schoolers in tv and film. It’s a lot of the reason I love Stranger Things. They really just keep it PG-13 with the kids and teens in that show (even if the actors are legal. They’re still playing young kids), with some cute appropriate jokes. I would love a reaction video on that show!
AMEN SISTER or BROTHER whatever
I made a rule for myself when I was 14 that I wouldn't build my happiness on someone else's grief by cheating with their significant other. Decades later, that has kept me out of more trouble and grief of my own.
the "he's so hot and so miserable" clip gets a laugh out of me every time
I think from my experience with female friends from abusive relationships, whenever they try to date again they almost have these notions that men being mean and being treated badly is something that is attractive because of their experienced trauma. The thing is the abuse starts like this with flirty jabs at them that turn into far more serious and heavy stuff later on.
That's so disturbing, it really feeds into the "All Girls Want Bad Boys" stereotype. They want someone who is exciting, and shakes their world up, but don't realise that there's many red flags, and that this sort of relationship is not ideal.
@@trinaq Its hard though because its the attention. They feel any attention is good attention from previous experiences when in reality its clearly not the case.
We're drawn to what is familiar to us. If someone is told that abusing them is a form of love, then they'll believe it and view it as normal in future relationships.
I think it’s also very common to compare behavior to shitty exes. My housemate was chatting with someone who was clearly emotionally cheating on his girlfriend with her. They weren’t outwardly flirting but I was still so confused why she would do that to herself and also this girl (before anyone judges her too harshly, she was never gonna actually go for a relationship unless they’d broken up).
This is also clearly a huge red flag, but then I stopped for a moment and realized that too her, emotional cheating isn’t even close to as bad as anything her last ex did. And I can’t judge her for trying to dismiss it as not that big of a deal since they clicked so well, shared so many interests and it wasn’t all that bad on the sliding scale of horrible. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how they’re dragged over the threshold. Then you just keep letting your boundaries be pushed because you just want to be loved and then you’re there again, with someone just as shitty or even worse.
Thankfully though he ghosted her when he started dating three (THREE???) other girls. After a bit she got on tinder and just last week came back from a date with a girl so giddy that she couldn’t stop giggling all evening, so hopefully that’ll go somewhere.
Sometimes it was conditioned by the family too. If the parents show ‘love’ by teasing the children, or beating them to discipline them for example, they will grow up to think that gentlemen/ladies who treat them well are weird/fake, and that these shitty boys/girls really love them just like their parents. They don’t know how to deal with mature compassionate relationships.
Aside from the many MANY ridiculous things you've already pointed out... if they have a guest room, why was she sleeping in his bedroom?!?!
And where are the parents in that scenario??!
I can answer that. Noah is the scariest guy in school right? So no one will dare screw with him right? So no one who comes to his house for a party would ever enter his bedroom without permission unless they have a death wish. So putting Elle into his bedroom while she was passed out drunk was actually the smartest thing to do. As I said no one would dare enter Noah's bedroom without permission but anyone could just wander into one of their guest rooms because why would they be scared to go in there? Let's take Warren for example. The other s**ual predator who was dragging Elle toward the hot tub at the beach party clearly trying to force himself on her (you could even see it in the way he walked up to her with a predatory look in his eyes. We know that he was also at Noah's party so suppose he wandered into one of the guest rooms and found Elle in there passed out drunk. Would he would have probably R worded Elle or even just touched her inappropriately while she was unconscious? Given what he tried to do to her at the beach, ABSOLUTELY. Elle would have been another Zoe Rivas. (If you watch Degrassi you know exactly what I'm talking about.) She was safest in Noah's room. No one would go in there and risk pissing off Noah so no guy would be able to find a passed out Elle and take advantage of her. Noah is flawed in how he treats Elle but that was actually a great thing he did for her.
Would highly suggest Easy A if you want a teen drama that'll help you heal from this mess! Similar potential topic but actually on purpose with good intentions :)
10000000% AGREE. Absolute gem of a film
Seconding this!!!
Third! Plus it's also a book adaptation, and imho is a really great example of when it's better to make major adaptational changes (in this case, genre and time period) to keep the themes of the book clear and relevant.
Easy A is funny, Emma is amazing in that. My go to film sometimes
I just feel the need to add that characters of opposite sex being friends and staying friends is a positive and necessary message. It is much bigger than the character just being a "nice guy". She should definetly end up with somebody else other than Noah but not with him
Yeah! Particularly straight characters of the opposite sex. There is the "gay guy friend" trope but that still sends the message that you can't be real loving platonic friends with someone with a sexual orientation toward your gender.
True that's why the "Friendzone" is such a misogynistic toxic concept. It basically says as a man having a platonic friendship with a women which is not sexual at all, is an absolutely worthless waist of time, so better manipulative her/just pretend to be a friend/make her feel guilty, to get what you actually want, which is s*x. That's why it's good when friendships in Movies/Shows between women and men get portrayed as worthy, okay and normal. Elle shouldn't end up Noah since he's a toxic controlling jerk, and not with her male best friend either.
True but why'd they make them so toxic still
When i first watched kissing booth i had just gotten out of a really bad relationship and i fell in love with the concept of noah flynn. The idea of a guy who would 'protect me' and obsess over me just left me gushing and giddy.
Rewatching this after being in a normal healthy relationship as well as years of therapy i just got the ICK
I think that's the draw of this genre. Who doesn't love the idea of being the centre of attention 24/7?
possessiveness from a partner and feeling wanted and important is for sure an attractive idea for many people. but it’s the fact that his possessiveness over elle is controlling, nonconsensual, and forceful.. that’s whats dangerous. It’s horrible behavior that will make it much harder for someone to confront it in their own lives down the line because they’ve seen it in movies like these that frame it as something romantic and desirable.
I’ve always been in a good relationship and I still fell in love with Noah. I think for myself and I believe some others, we can completely sever a fictional movie character from what an ideal partner is and should be. So I’m able to fall in love with this RICH, HOT dick wad and if I meet the same dick wad in reality I’m disgusted and repulsed
I totally get that. Sometimes we idealize the bad because we don’t know what the good is like.
And that mentality is exactly why you don't get into another relationship after a break-up. You overcompensate in the worst possible way to the opposite extreme.
Get yourself some rebound booty, but don't try to make it work with someone after you've had your heart broken.
This movie made me furious! I was revolted, the only reason I even finished it is because I was waiting for her to come to her senses.
Please do tall girl next because the absolute entitlement of the childhood friend being in love with you so you have to love them back drives me up the wall.
Both parts of the "pair" should get checked, if for diferente reasons. I mean, the protagonist having trouble finding shoes and clothes is literally the only real problem she has ("How's the weather up there?" every 5 seconds isn't even bullying, ffs, and the sequel showed she never even felt antsy before) but she acts like that and some weird sense of unfemininity are the end of the world and gets shocked when it turns out that height isn't a personality trait. So, maybe oversheltering?
@@debymello4756 Are you telling me that shit got a sequel? How?
@@NateLeonhart the only explanation I can think is that Netflix needs an "irony" button
SAME OH MY GOD I was waiting while watching it like "ok so she's gonna be an actual person now right? no?" like dude. the short skirt thing? i was waiting for the other ball to drop like "ok so she's gonna slap him right. she's gonna--nope. ok she's not gonna give her number right? she's gonna write something rude back--nope. oh god."
and also broo i just watched Tall Girl 2 (without watching the first one) and oh godddddgggdghg
I was recommended a book by my teenager and to my horror I read it. (If she wants to read a book she gets me to read it first so she knows if it’s any good). It was “It ends with us.” It was a tough read but the “twist” wasn’t a shock to me because there were soooo many red flags. (I told her she shouldn’t read it and gave her a quick brief what it was about). She’s 15 and had some questions and we had a chat about it. She had a lot of questions about abu5ive relationships. It was nice she felt comfortable in asking me these things. Her Auntie Jess was raised in an abu5ive household and had an abu5ive partner at one point as well so she is aware of this stuff personally. (She’s not actually related, just my best friend since we were 5 and stayed with us when things got bad).
My ex contacted me and recommended this book to me after i got married....what would that mean? (She's also married)
@@adrianrodriguez4874 maybe she just liked the book. You can always ask her but if you feel it might be something more, ask yourself is there a reason you think it might be something more and if the answer is yes then you have your answer as to why they recommended it.
@@laurajaynenolan2149 it was the first time we had contact in many years. She was saying how she was trying to leave her husband. And i just told her that she needed to figure out her issues with her husband and not come to me. So idk haven't talked since. But every time I hear or see this book it reminds me. Makes me very curious about the book. Idk what it's actually about
@@adrianrodriguez4874 that is concerning then, tbh I’d try to reach out to a friend of hers and let them know she may need help.
@@laurajaynenolan2149 one of the things she said is she has no friends. Just get husband, and that's not going well. That's why she reached out to me
When I first watched this movie all I could think was “this is every single trope from typical Wattpad books”. When I found out it WAS a wattpad book I was shocked.
The classic wants of every teen girl; Boy best friend, to clumsily stumble into becoming hot/popular, to have a dead parent I guess, and a crazy controlling boy you’re having a forbidden romance with.
Do you happen to know what fanfic its based off of? Or are they original characters? This is so funny to me lol.. After is harry styles, 50 shades was twilight and Twilight was MCR fanfic.. i need to know and google aint giving me answers 😂 AND THEY’RE ALL THE SAME DUDE LIKE 😂🚩🚩
I wasn't surprised at all when I found out lmao. I was never interested in wattpad original stories, but I *was* into fanfictions, so I knew the formula even if it wasn't the exact same. I'll never understand why *that* story was the one they decided to make into a movie. I've been there for years, there are tons of good writers on there, but for some reason they picked the worst ones 💀
lmfao the dead parent 💀 thats so true though
I'm glad someone pointed this out! I'm surprised they didn't mention it, unless they didn't realize. But I haven't watch part two, they might mention it there.
honestly even though they would've made a much healthier romance in the end, I'm glad that for once it was a really loving friendship that never turned to " I've loved you all along! Why can't you see it's always been me!"
That is one (maybe the only?) redeeming factor in this movie. It didn't fall into that trope, even if it fell into way too many others!
I mean Lee and Elle would never have a healthy romance, their incedibly codependent relationship wouldn't allow it.
@@rebecky5ever Speaking big truth here.
It pisses me off that this is held up as the pinnacle of cinematic friendship without any romantic feelings underneath it. Almost every rule in the Best Friends Rule list is meant for Lee to maintain control over Elle their whole lives. He throws a bratty hissy fit when he finds out Elle is dating his brother, even though he lives in a multi-million dollar house and has a car he DEFINITELY didn’t pay for, and probably is gonna get into a college of his choice without doing any real work for it, and get whatever career he wants without doing any work for it. Jono and Alan, you guys should do Me & Earl & The Dying Girl in the future. That’s an ACTUAL good representation, imo, of male-female friendship that’s healthy and not toxic
@@Overseer2579 lol I never said that? Yes he is super possessive of her and their relationship isn’t HEALTHY, just healthier than hers with Noah (which doesn’t take much cause big oof) but exactly because it at first appears as romantic undertones, I was glad that in the end they DIDNT go that way cause that would’ve been the typical choice for a movie of this type
no need to go off 🤷🏼♀️
‘A man looming over a child’, made me think of one of my favourite movies where there was a big height difference and I just didn’t remember it making me feel icky. Went back to watch and turns out camera angle alone can really make a big difference. I don’t think there was an apple box, but they always had her on a stair etc, or when they were standing side by side the camera was directly in front so you didn’t get a dominant effect, and it probably helped that the actors were likely in their late twenties or early thirties. Thank you Alan for helping me appreciate my favourite movie even more
Please, what is the movie?
@@sweetestaphrodite my guilty pleasure, seven brides for seven brothers.
@@Sam-mo5td thank you!! I’ve added it onto my list of movies I’ve gotta watch!
@nora, Just a quick note, the film takes place in 1850, and it was filmed 1954. I hate when people don’t watch it with those contexts in their brain, yes there are some moments that would not fly today, but please enjoy it for what it is and don’t shred it apart over modern standards
@@Sam-mo5td Ah, not to worry. Most passions of mine revolve around the past anyways (history, classic lit, etc.), so bearing historical context in mind is natural and not a bother!
on halloween last year, my friends and i were looking for a horror movie to watch, and we ended up hatewatching this instead. it was absolutely terrifying
Btw, it might not be possible now since it's still in cinemas in some places, but I think you guys would like Puss in Boots 2! (It deals with topics of mortality and such)
Working on it! It'll probably be a few months before the video's out.
@@CinemaTherapyShow Cool!
Thanks for bringing this film up, it would certainly be ripe for a thorough analysis, and is one of the best Dreamworks films in recent years.
@@CinemaTherapyShow Then it better ends with Jono screaming at Alan "You are horrible! You are an irredemable MONSTER!" at the end.
@@CinemaTherapyShow YES YES YES YES YES
Y'all are doing the Lord's work. I think it is crucially important to call out the toxic and abusive things in these movies, which are more insidious than a lot folks realize. Movies like this not only romanticize abuse, they normalize it. Then many of the young people who watch these kinds of movies, idealize them instead of critique them. It is so important to have a space like this, where everything that is not okay gets called out.
Also, even before you said a man wrote and directed it, I knew.
Made worse by being based off a story a 15 y/o wrote, so a man saw a showing that the "bullying is love" narrative was took to heart by someone and thought "I'll use it but with as many semi nude shots as I can get away with"
Thank you for voicing everything wrong with this movie and so many others!
Like what Alan said, "Vince, f*** you!"
True. Think about the Note book. I am so glad they watched that one too!
Also the kidnapping ones
Jacob Elordi legitimately is a fantastic actor, who plays these douchebags really well, and he's also followed in Robert Pattinsons footsteps of subtly hating his own movie(s). I'd love to see him in other roles some day
This is helping me calm down right now, I just went through something incredibly traumatic and am shaking. I prayed as well and that helped, now I’m watching this and it’s regaining my mood because it’s distracting me. Thanks for making my day a little better. I hope others who are going through something right now can feel the warm hug I’m sending. I’m scared, but I’m gonna try to get through this.
Are you safe right now?
I’m so sorry to hear about that. I hope you’re doing better and that you’re safe now. Sending lots of love your way ❤️
I hope you’re feeling more safe, I always feel better after praying too, and I also hope you are able to rest and eat a good meal. I truly hope you’re safe and that there’s more things that can make you laugh and smile. Sending warm hugs and good thoughts out to you love, you absolutely deserve them~
hope you are in a physical and emotinal safe place, and that you are feeling a little better. You are going to get thru this and get stronger, and also heal. Best of luck to you on your journey. Sending a hug right back 💗💗💗💗
You will survive this. We all believe you.
If you’re ever wondering why this movie has such strange writing, it’s because it was literally based off of a Wattpad fanfiction story of the same name.
It was literally written by a tween.
You're kidding.
Suddenly it makes sense.
That explains a lot
Adults still greenlit this crap
@@ninjanibba4259 and adults allowed for a teenage character to be eye candy(and to show of her butt a lot which is 🤢)
@@rebecky5ever it's not exactly new
Damn that movie, and others, for saying "you're the only girl/guy who doesn't want me" be the thing that gets the relationship (I don't know in this one as I haven't seen it & need part two, but I'm sure it's leading up to it). If they don't want you, they don't want you. This gives hope to incels and stalkers, says "you really don't mean it", "I can change your mind", etc. This is big "you don't know your own mind" energy. This is a Big ICK.
Big Ick Energy.
so who said/says to who
“you’re the only girl/guy
who doesn’t want me”? like probably hardly any of the comments on this video seem to make much sense?? and I might as well find myself wondering asking repeatedly over and over and over again what tf are you talking about?!?oh and uh um you kind of seem to say that the main teenage girl character in the kissing booth:(Elle):has like absolutely ZERO interest in the hot towering hunk guy:(Noah):when really she’s definitely interested in him so it seems to be not really the movie/film/characters (whatever) that necessarily promote bs but the insufferable obnoxious moaning whiners maybe PROJECTING THEIR OWN traumatic whatever and really from my own understanding the kissing booth’s literally just intended to be mainly a entertaining romcom and really I’m guessing that twilight was never really meant to have been a romcom but simply just a kind of a fantasy romance but I guess that they both share in common that people like to bash them trash talk them because apparently romance is a girly thing or whatever and anything that is apparently seen as girly would still be seen as like bad nothing new at all the whole
…..like a girl” thing
@@noorbohamad5796 at 22:11 of this video they highlight the point in the movie (I don't know exactly when it is in the movie) when he says directly "You're the only girl who doesn't fall on my feet". Yes, she's hiding her interest in him by not seeming to like him but why is that a valid strategy? Just say how you feel. Why does her avoiding him (or arguing with him, pushing him away) make him want her more? I feel she's attracted to him because yes he's a hunk but he's shown as a jerk too. Being hot is not a valid excuse to base a relationship on. Maybe her avoidance is she knows he's a jerk and doesn't want to fall how hot he is. She knows he's trouble and *he wants what she doesn't want to give him*. We can be conflicted. He wants her because she's conflicted. The guys highlight these films because they see people acting like this in real life with their relationships. We get the idea from these movies that conflict, fixer-upper, "they don't want me so I must have them", "I don't have to fix myself" relationships are romantic, but they're not. Romance movies can be more realistic and still good. This one isn't.
I love how they're still traumatized by twilight 🤣🤣🤣
We all are still traumatised 😂😂😂
@@skyejacques 😂😂😂
I love how distressed John is in this video. Poor guy 😂.
“The problem is-“
“Which problem?”
I’m having a flashback to high school where I (5’2” as an adult) had a crush on a guy who was 6’5”. One of my friends drew a picture of us dancing at homecoming, where I was smaller than his feet and his body disappeared into the clouds.
I’m sorry I chuckled. Thanks for sharing 😂
That was a friend?
I'm 5'2 and have dated a 6'5 man, thats extremely accurate
this made snicker out loud
I can your face just going "Bruh"
I love how at first you made it seem cute and then you went straight into roasting it haha
Yeah agreed I was really confused for a split second lol
@@cocoabeanz6171 I was thinking "Did we watch the same movie?"
A show not a movie but something I think you would really like is Assassination Classroom. It's definitely a don't judge a book by its cover type of show. It seems like a typical Jump Shonen for teen boys but then you realize it's so much more. The show has so much depth and wisdom to give regarding life. Each and every single student come out of that classroom changed for the better as they each undergo development and learn major life lessons. It's truly incredible. I am a social worker and this show really is spectacular in helping teens (and many adults) cope with various challenges in life.
Oh my god! I love that anime, it's one of my favorites!
I've never seen it and judging it by cover i didn't plan to, but the way you described it made me want to watch it now :) So thanks, i'm putting it on my "to watch" list.
Best teacher ever show.
The main lead is genuinely so amazing. She took what she had and ran with it even if it was absolute garbage. That takes genuine skill!
Is it weird to say I think some of the reason why these kind of romances are so popular is because sometimes sheltered girls/kids in general grew up knowing love as a controlling repressive thing from their parents? So seeing a mix of that being broken (because dangerous bad boy) while also being repeated (controlling asshole who calls themselves protective) is kind of like... honey to a fly? Just me? Okay.
i think that makes total sense!
At least from personal experience, it stems from insecurity and the want to be wanted. So these toxic traits like possessiveness and jealousy come off as proof that he cares instead of what it truly is. Which is why a lot of these are written by preteens and teenagers, it's the most insecure time in people's lives.
Though you're answer is also true. People who grow up in abusive homes or succumb to abusive relationships will see the abuse as love and will generally get bored in a stable relationship
@@idkanymore2.014 OMG this is EXACTLY what I always say about this trope!
It always reads to me as "wanting to be wanted"; The idea of a hot and "charming" guy being obsessed and so "in love" with you that he becomes "jealous" or "over-protective" is so romantic to teen girls, especially if they're insecure (which most are).
no its completely normal 😭
Alan’s “are you a time traveler?” line genuinely made me laugh so much because it was exactly what I was thinking and it’s nice to hear that response from other people
Honestly would love to see your take on Dr. Doofenshmirtz and fatherhood in Phineas and Ferb. Maybe through a compilation of his backstories with his parents and then the way he treats Vanessa
Now I just imagine Alan carrying an apple box everywhere he goes for his wife.
I think confessions of a shopaholic would be a great one to react to! Not only is it a fun movie with a cute romance, but also a lighthearted way to talk about addiction and debt and such!
Big seconded!!!
The love-bombing at the beginning and intermittently in an abusive relationship is seriously intoxicating, and it really ropes a person in to feel like someone is that into you. Especially if you have previous trauma, it's very easy to get stuck in a relationship like that.
Yes. And once you're in, it's so hard to get out.
I agreed with pretty much everything except the height thing. My partner is 6’3” and I’m 5’. If anything upsets me more than people infantilizing me because of my height, which has happened my whole life, it’s when they do so in comparison to my partner. I’m 26 and they’re 25. Constantly being referred to as a child is degrading and disrespectful to both my partner and I. People come in all shapes and sizes. I hate hearing people talk like my existence gives them the “ick” merely because I’m short and that somehow makes my relationship problematic in some way. We are both adults who are in a healthy consensual relationship and just happen to be on either end of the height spectrum. Other people make the size difference an issue by infantilizing the shorter person. I personally find it incredibly demeaning.
Edit:
For context: I completely understand that for shooting and framing reasons it would look better and more balanced. I have no issue with that. And I do agree with this particular movie, since its focus is on a toxic relationship that also has the added towering height difference, it plays into the power imbalance of the couple. My issue was with the notion that just being short and being with someone taller implies the shorter person is then seen as a child or childlike in comparison. He said that exact thing about his wife. If you want a better photo with your wife that's framed well, then fine use an apple box so you can get an even and balanced photo. But don't imply you need the apple box because having a short wife means she looks like a child in comparison and makes you look creepy. That's weird. It implies that even in public, when you cannot use an apple box, that you think she looks like a child when next to you. She is a grown ass adult. Again, it is insulting towards the shorter person and their partner. It implies being with someone short is icky or creepy since they are "childlike". Which again is untrue. People come in all sizes. The short partner is still a grown ass adult and should be treated and respected like one.
Golden comment !
Yeah, them infantilizing short people was kind of upsetting.
But they mentioned that height differences in consensual relationships aren't a problem, that they are in relationships with massive height differences, they were only pointing it out because of the cinematography. Angles are a massive thing in cinematography and the gaze of the characters in the scene too. The effect it comes across as in the movie is not good, but it is completely fine in real life. They said this.
@@midnight4685 I understand that
But movies (some of them) should reflect real life relationships
Maybe they should apply other tricks
Not the the apple box
The visual implications only apply because of the movie as a whole; a towering hunk who's *genuinely* nice would create a very different mood.
I wrote a paper dissing this movie for my Mass Media and society college class addressing the toxic messaging. Not to mention, this was marketed towards young women. I did a causal survey for my teen coworkers, and only one girl recognized the dangers of the main romantic relationship. Important note: that one girl watched it with her dad, who stopped the movie at the yelling scene and said point-blank that was abuse and not okay (go him). Not a big fan of an over protective dad, but to love an interactive parent!
the fact that this movie already had a perfect storyline that involved a romance with the best friend that the main character made the pact with infuriates me. ITS 👏RIGHT 👏RIGHT 👏THERE. They have the chemistry, they have the banter. They have a pretty good conflict because it draws on the whole "I am in love with my best friend and I'm afraid that i'll make things awkward for us if it doesn't turn out well." She's so comfortable around him and he finds her so endearing. They already get along super well because they have common interests, like DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION. like, ffs she dresses like mario and he dresses like princess peach when they play mario kart. who in the hell would agree to do that if they were your best friend?????
I personally am over the whole friends-to-lovers storylines because somehow men and woman can't be friends without being romantically attracted.
Honesty it would of been interesting if they actually did that. Maybe it would of gone bad but hey I'm a sucker for bestfriends to lovers and sadly there isn't a lot of that 😭 because sadly that trope isn't popular 😔
Tbh I don’t like either brother. Yes, there’s more chemistry between the bffs but then it turns pretty unhealthy really fast.
Instead of having a “oh look how endearing these two friends are” storyline we get the “well he isn’t the second love interest but the jealousy and conflict is still there” arc.
@@excessivelyfangirlingbookw3339 that's true as well which sucks because we could of had a great friendship between them through out but then they had to do well what we got and it's just creepy and it just makes me want L to shoot across the sky to get far away from them
That's just what best friends do though. A significant other is just a best friend you're romantic with. Having fun and being goofy with people doesn't mean there needs to be romance. My best friend and I do a bunch of things that people misconstrue as us being romanticly involve. If he were a woman, or I a man, then these misunderstandings wouldn't arise. Two people being comfortable around one another doesn't equate to romance.
I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE DOING THIS MOVIE! Can't wait for part 2! Last summer my 11 year old neice was spending the day at my house and wanted to watch a movie. She excitedly said, "I love the kissing booth!" I immediately groaned and said I hated it. She looked so confused. I explained to her that what happens in the movie is not okay and that Noah's actions aren't cute. She rolled her eyes at me, but I can't help thinking that me at her age and as a teen, I would have eaten this movie up. For some reason, painting a guy as "protective" is still so romantic to young girls. It bugs the hell out of me!
You can be protective without being abusive, and this movie did not succeed
In my experience, even protectiveness that’s not abusive, and that’s fairly well-intentioned, can easily slip across the line into not respecting the partner’s choices and autonomy.
Not saying all protectiveness is bad, just that self-awareness and communication about it is usually helpful to keep a healthy balance for a couple.
Good on you for saying those things- even if she didn't seem to listen, sometimes, having someone point out the (genuine) issues in a piece of media can help them start to view it critically. Keep being an awesome role model!
the real problem beeing, that we feel, like we need protection. especially from sexist creepy behaviour.
As a teen I would have the same reaction as your niece. Now as someone in my twenties not so much...
During their kissing scene in the rain when one of you said that even thought they are only 2 years apart it's like watching a 14 yr old and a 30 yr old kiss, experience wise, this is exactly what it is. She's never even been in a relationship & he's been tom-catting all over the place. Which, no shame to either of these scenarios but I don't think it can make for a healthy relationship because the unexperienced one is likely to feel insecure & want to prove themselves to the point of ignoring their own boundaries & going at a pace that is too fast for them and to the experienced one they aren't going to be aware that their partner needs it to be slower because the significance of the first times are lost on them. To them it's "just kissing" "just making out" "just touching you in x, y, z." It's another form of a power imbalance.
This movie has no female gaze.
It is filled with the male gaze and with (what I assume) is what the director THINK is a female gaze, but really is just a male gaze directed towards the different male characters instead of the women.
Maby a video about the different gazes is needed?
🎉But I got to say Alan and Jonathan:
Thank you for this amazing video! Your reactions always makes my day 😄👍
Exactly ! Female gaze isnt filming men naked bodies, filming sexually, erotically bodies is typically associated with male gaze no matter the gender of the sexualised person. To further understand the concept of female gaze (and its opposite male gaze) id reccomend a book called (literally translated from french) The female gaze / view by Iris Brey : « Iris Brey theorizes the female gaze, a way of filming women without making objects of them, of sharing the singularity of female experiences with all spectators, whatever their gender, and renewing our way of desiring by looking without voyeurism. ». But unfortunately i dont think it exists in english.
Ironically, this movie is based on a Wattpad story written by 15-year-old girl. I can see a teenager writing a story like this without seeing its problems but how the heck did grown-up people who approved this concept to be adapted not see anything wrong?
Absolutely this! I was gonna comment the same thing, so glad I'm not the only one who picked up on that. This is absolutely NOT "female gaze", this is the male interpretation of "female gaze" which is basically just more "male gaze"
The whole world out here sleeping on friendships and how awesome having friends is. No romantic or sexual undertones. Just people enjoying being around one another. As a teen, I thought romance was needed to have a happy and fulfilling life. Good God, was I wrong. We're fed so much bs as kids and perpetuate it amongst ourselves. We have adults crafting stories from their own messed-up views and experiences and have it be the new generation's introductions to romance. It's a rationalization of abusive behavior. It excuses harmful behavior by boys and men and gaslights the girls and women into believing it's love. This is not love. Love doesn't hurt you like that. Love doesn't disrespect your boundaries or make you uncomfortable. That's being taken advantage of. That's being manipulated.
You nailed it. The reason for this bs is to make little girls believe that the actual brass ring in their lives is a wedding band and not becoming CEO. Keep the little woman in the kitchen and pregnant. I'm 55 with no kids and never married. I am not missing it. My life is my own. I gag whenever I hear a woman say her 'day' is her wedding day. WTF? It's all propaganda.
Thank u so much for saying this! I don't know if this counts as messed up or not, but my mom seriously thinks that when any teen is sad it's only cuz of one of 2 things; they're homelife isn't great or they either have problems w their romance lives 😒. And one time when my brother just got dressed up to go out e friends she thought he was doing it to get with a girl 💀 maybe that was the truth but he was going with a big group of friends 🙄
Noah Flynn is the toned down version of Nate Jacobs from Euphoria. They love casting him as the toxic boyfriend.
"The days of you controlling my life are over" - cue sinister music, camera pan to the side, spooky stalker/murder hint in the background, ominous fade out.
Wait, this isn't a horror? The movie was looking pretty horrible to me!!! 🤣
But, seriously, the lighting alone had me thinking someone was going to die!
Love the recognising of Joey's acting skills! I personally find it hard to tell when it's the script/editing/etc and not the acting skills but for Joey I always recognised that she had genuine talent that just wasn't being used for this movie.
"Oh man, this popcorn tastes just like [REDACTED CEREAL]!"
Despite how awful it was seeing you guys have to slog through this , that was my favorite part lol
What's with the redacted cereal?
@@SusanDelgado1177 A cereal brand that they couldn't say out loud due to copyright reasons.
I didn't understand the redacted cereal bit. Is that some kind of inside joke?
@@ashleyjustice3008 if it’s a trademarked brand they can’t say the name, that’s why it was redacted. Or the video gets claimed by the brand and they lose the money the video makes.
@@ashleyjustice3008 crunch berries. the popcorn tastes like crunch berries but they can't SAY "crunch berries" unless they have an actual sponsorship from cap'n crunch because legal reasons i guess.
The relationship between Elle and Noah reminds me of when people say, "If a boy is picking on you, that means he likes you!"
I'd love to see you do "To All the Boys I've Loved Before." I saw it soon after I watched The Kissing Booth, and I compare/contrast these two movies in my head all the time.
Megan: "Is that us?!?!"
Alan: "No, cause if we're ever in pictures I PUT YOU ON A APPLE BOX."
Loving how sweet Alan is to make sure his wife can be since in pictures and for it not to look creepy, unlike what this movie did for the raining gazebo scene.
I was a school librarian, elementary. Kids kept wanting me to buy the "Flowers in the Attic" books.
Refused.
I'd read the first book and was horrified. This was written by someone out to make money by somehow making neglect and abuse and terror "charming". NO NO NO
That's also what I told the kids ... didn't change their minds then but maybe they'll think about it.
Retired librarian
Good for you
I understand your position entirely; I feel much the same way today about books that seem to glorify abuse (and incest) like that. But I was one of those kids. I didn't find them charming (though to be fair, I read them in middle school in the 90's). I found them addictive and felt like I couldn't get enough of them. What I didn't know was that it was comforting to me to read because I was surviving a childhood of abuse and cult-like oppression and control myself.
They were characters I could relate to and feel for - and empathize with. I guarantee you for every child who wanted to read them because they were "scandalous," there were two who were in the same situation as me.
I grew up to be a licensed trauma therapist.
Please do the Before Trilogy! It's two people who meet by chance on a train and decide to spend a day together walking around Vienna talking about life, philosophy, love... The characters are so real and the second film is made to look like it's set in real time without jumps or cuts.
Oh yes please! I LOVE these movies and I think they'd have a great time analysing them.
I third this request! Even though there's not much in terms of action, there really doesn't need to be to create a compelling story. We really get to learn so much about Jesse and Celine through their conversations.
The "Come Here " scene is one of the best representation of falling in love of cinema in my opinion. Both actors nailed !
OH MY GOD YES! IT'S MY FAVOURITE TRILOGY OF ALL TIME!
Holy shit yes!! Jono & Alan do this pls!!
Please review Strange World! I love the part where the grandfather gives advice about how to impress a crush (put them in danger then save them) and his grandson calls it out as a super toxic way to start a relationship. It's really cute and healthy in ways that I know you'll enjoy.
Such a great movie
About the height difference between the two main actors, I actually liked it because it feels real. Like in reality we can see big height differences between couples. But yeah, agree in that then they should frame the scenes together without having to cut one of them.
Its quite rare for big height difference relations to work, its a teen movie so it makes sense because their is a lot of hormones at work
I would absolutely LOVE a reaction to Brother Bear!:) It's such an underrated Disney movie that it's a crime. It's main theme is brotherly love, learning and growing up really. Also --> Phil Collins, so 😁
I was convinced that everyone forgot brother bear! It was one my favourite movies as a kid! 😭
@@latoniamiller8976 Me too😊 Although I came to appreciate it much more when I got older^^
I'd love to see that ❤️ I still love that movie so much
I've had to spend the last 10 years detoxing from a lifetime of frankly horrifying messages around what is supposedly charming, flirty, cute and attractive behavior that is actually sexist, controlling, manipulative and appallingly disrespectful. I'm thrilled there are people like you deconstructing this nonsense and providing a much-needed education around what healthy relationship behaviors actually look like. Thank you and all the kudos to you both!
Yes! This! I remember when I swore off rom-coms, it was when After became a movie. I had read like 10 chapters as a tween, then gave up 'cause there as no plot. Then I forgot about it. Then After's trailer was released and I wanted to throw up. From that day I vowed to be cautious of rom-coms and if any guy exuded traits like the men in them, I'd stay clear!
@@quillsoul My favorite movie (who happens to kind of being a rom-com but also about family and life in general) is "About Time". If you want a non-toxic movie, go for that one !
@@CP-gk4ri Yeeaaah!!! That's such a spiritual beautiful one too, very healthy. Oh I thought of one, Two Night Stand. There are defs good rom-coms out there, but we definitely have to wade through them
the fact that later in the movie when lee sees that elle has hurt her head his first thought is asking his brother what he did HIS OWN BROTHER THINKS THAT WAY OF HIM
The contrast more realistic version of all this movies is The Invisible Man, and is fantastic how they tell the abuse and the consequences of an abusive relationship.
I remember watching this when I was 14 and saying it was my favorite movie. Looking back on it now as an adult at the age of 19, their whole dynamic and relationship is so toxic. So many red flags that totally went over my head as a early teen, but now I understand them and know that they’re toxic as hell. So glad I have evolved into the person I am today😌
When I first watched it I was like "aww cute" then a couple of watches later, "Elle... whaaat?" It is one of those film relationships where it is "I've known this person my whole life. I know they're fine and not a playboy."
Evolved? Did you grow an extra eye or something?
Yes! We're happy you're here!
@@marieindia8116 I mean mentally evolved lol… although having a third eye would be cool
@@quillsoul why thank you♥️
You guys just reminded me of an icky story about an old friend of mine. A ‘girlfriend’ slipped something in her drink at the request of a bunch of guys and things were about to get real. The only ‘decent’ guy among the group came to her aid and told her what her friend did. She then proceeded to date this guy, because he was decent, right? Long story short: one day he walked out on her, effectively abandoning her, a young mom still in her late teens, and their infant child after years of physical and emotional abuse.
All this to say: beware of red flags. Even if someone’s character is not immediately clear to you (although with friends like that?! 🤔), please be mindful.
The whole "massive man tiny woman" trope totally freaks me out. It feels like it's everywhere, especially in books and movies like these. I can't be the only one who finds it creepy when the female lead is described as childlike in comparison to her love interest
I'm very late but I don't think the size difference is the problem I think the infantilizing is the problem. You can have super tall and super small couples but once you babyfy the shorter? No. Thats gross. Whole born sexy yesterday blushing Virgin tiny woman (or even in some cases, men) very bad
Thats what makes it a teenage fantasy😅
I needed this in my life!! One of the major ick moments for me is that kiss in the rotunda in the garden. It’s like they were trying to parallel The Sound of Music’s “16 Going on 17”, which is when played today is a pretty ick song!! Can’t wait for part two!!
I think some people feel really lonely, so the idea of someone paying that much attention to them, and wanting to be with them, can be a bit tempting. And it's probably specially tempting when you're a teen with very limited life experience, and you don't know that a well balanced relationship, that doesn't consume you, is the only type that works on the long run.
Just like how as a kid you would've tried to eat a whole cake if someone had let you, and it took you stuffing yourself until you vomited for you to learn the lesson.
Right. It takes a high level of emotional maturity
i always love when you two take a movie that is seen as romantic, by the masses, and point out all the toxicity.
Who ever said these movies are romantic? No one did
This movie was widely panned by adults. It got youth views
@@ninjanibba4259 There marked as romance so the creators are saying that
@@flowersandcheesecake1710 well they're not, it's nowhere near it
@@ninjanibba4259 the tradition of an entire genre of movies says it.
When I learned this was based on a book written by a teen, everything made so much sense. It's the sort of thing I read back in FictionPress day; I understand the author's (twisted) logic that makes Noah the" good bad boy" and, idk, maybe partaking in this kind of story is part of growing up. But I really think we adult writers have to offer better male lead models, so teenagers don't think guys like Noah are desirable partners.
Not about this video but I would really like to put out there that The Croods would be an exceptional movie to react to. It's a great lesson in how family dynamics can change as a family grows, both as a group and individually.
13:22 There's a lot to unpack there, but the short and sweet of it basically comes down to "they want to be wanted". And because abusive, controlling and toxic behavior has been so heavily romanticized and portrayed as 'cute' and 'affectionate' in large part thanks to movies like this, it translates as "oh wow this person must REALLY want / love the other person" and people want that for themselves. Also if they're someone who comes from a past abusive relationship or a childhood household with these things, they tend to gravitate towards similar relationships in the future for the familiarity and comfort it brings.
Please do 'To all the boys I've loved before' too!
to all the boys is kind health, it is not pefect (and the make mistake) because it is 2 teens trying to navigate a relationship for the first time, but I would to know what they think
@@xtltokioreal2736 it’s definitely an example of a movie that’s “almost there”
YAS!
As someone who used to be in an abusive relationship with a guy like 🤢 Noah. The spark is the attention. When we were kids we barely got attention and even into our teenage years we might’ve been bullied or forced to retreat into the shadows due to the rush reality of finding love. So when a cute rich guy comes and gives us a lot of initial attention it becomes really addicting. 😔
The part about the apple boxes reminded me of the anime Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun/Monthly Girl's Nozaki-kun. There is one really funny scene where someone is trying to draw the backgrounds for a manga they are working on, but messes up and makes it look like one character is floating, so they drew a box under him. Then they drew a few more backgrounds and kept on needing to add boxes to the scene to the point that they came up with a lore reason for all the boxes.
Angy Alan is my favourite. He's so adorably enraged at crimes against cinema. I love it.
Having him tower over her like that really adds to the feeling that he's controlling and manipulating her. She's not safe.
I'm so tired of people saying 'a girl's not safe' just because she chooses a guy who scares YOU - and why, because he has a temper like lots of people do? (Both women and men.) Not all women are damsel-in-distess victims; some of us can take care of ourselves and don't feel 'abused' because somebody shouts when they're upset! Really, you think that's an indicator of manipulation? Have you never yelled at anyone in your life during an argument? Does yelling at someone mean they have to do what you say? Does the ability to shout mean you're capable of physical violence? Not connected at all.
People nowadays are so judgemental. If a woman is strong enough to accept a flawed boyfriend (or a man a flawed girlfriend), leave them alone. Just because YOU'RE scared of anyone who isn't a people pleasing doormat doesn't mean the rest of them are. Just because people have strong views, disagree or get angry sometimes doesn't make them abusers or any more likely to become that way.
Doesn't mean Noah and Elle had enough in common for a lasting relationship; they didn't. But all this calling attraction between two old family friends who know and can trust each other 'toxic' and 'abusive' is just ridiculous.
@@cmm5542 It's not just because he yells at her once. No one is perfect and people yell. That doesn't make yelling the healthy way to deal with things, but occasionally yelling can be overlooked.
There are bigger issues involved beyond a single instance of yelling. Telling people not to date her. Calling other people out on toxic behavior he does himself. Dismissing his own bad behavior. Those are all signs of emotional abuse.
Emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse. When I say she's not safe, I mean she's at risk for possible physical abuse but definitely mental abuse. Movies that romanticize anger and control as love are telling people that it's okay to emotionally abuse your partner. It's not.
Emotional abuse is insidious and it's a lot easier for people to miss because they don't recognize it for what it is. Lots of people suffer through emotional abuse because they've never been physically hurt. I worry that we continue to normalize abusive behavior, particularly from men. It's not healthy for the men, either.
@@vikkitaggart7454 You completely missed my point that emotional abuse is not a concern for people who aren't being manipulated! Of course I'm concerned for the well-being of an insecure girl who will believe anything because 'she just wants to be loved' - this DOES NOT HAPPEN to people who aren't insecure! Elle is not an insecure or needy person who is going to be influenced to accept something she actually believes is wrong or have her ego crushed by someone else disagreeing with her. She stands up for herself and never backs down until she gets what SHE wants; to claim she sets a bad example for girls being 'unsafe' in relationships is ridiculous. She's with Noah because she wants him and so she gets him. Whether he was a good thing to WANT is irrelevant: Elle made her own decision to pursue her desire of him; she wasn't 'manipulated' into anything.
What worries ME is that we are not teaching young girls to be strong and secure in their own beliefs and self-worth so that they can no longer be manipulated and 'emotionally abused.' Telling them it is this kind of sci-fi 'mind control' brainwashing they can't escape is simply a lie - but if they believe it they may well allow themselves to be manipulated because they don't know they can simply refuse to believe whatever gaslighting nonsense other people say. And we can't tell them to simply avoid potential abusers, because such people do exist (not that I think a kid like Noah is one; he's simply immature and only adults scared of teens - I'm not - would see him as a threat) and it's not always possible to identify them. What we need is to teach young people to make up their own minds and so not let themselves be manipulated. But some people can't help being affected by manipulation because they've never been given the opportunity to develop self-worth - these are the ONLY kind of people vulnerable to emotional abuse. And it's insulting and degrading to individuals who DO have normal self-confidence, to suggest we are all just helpless victims who don't know how to simply stand up for ourselves or walk away if someone tries to manipulate us. We can, and everybody should be taught how BEFORE they reach dating age. Then people wouldn't be scared by a story of a girl picking a boy SHE wants but who wouldn't be right for THEM - young people need to be taught that what works for someone else may not work for them. You shouldn't have to brand a relationship where both people concerned are quite happy 'toxic' to feel justified in saying YOU wouldn't be happy in that relationship!
What people need to avoid abuse is to have their self-confidence boosted, not to be terrified of other human beings.
@@cmm5542 It's not that I missed your point. I disagree with you. I think strong, confident people can be manipulated. Are insecure people more vulnerable? Yes. Are they the only ones? No. Teaching kids to recognize the signs of emotional abuse is key to giving them the tools to protect themselves. Giving them the confidence to say no is part of that, but not the only part. Assuming that only insecure people get abused places blame on the person getting abused rather than the abuser.
@@cmm5542 You think it doesn't happen to secure people, but abusive manipulators are good at finding out peoples insecurities and bringing them to light making them fall into being insecure and easier to control.
I’ve honestly learned that when we don’t grow up in an environment that teaches us what healthy love and boundaries look like, we emulate and seek out that toxic behavior. We’re also surrounded by it because of movies. We are seeing what someone else’s pov or idea of love is. We fall in love with the characters or stories and think “this is what love is” because it’s different or better than what we grew up with, or we think it is, not realizing how troubling it really is. Not until we put in the work to heal or go through therapy and find out that love isn’t what we thought it was and even though boundaries are hard they’re necessary.
“Do you want to know the truth?”
“No.” 😭💀
please do the after movies. its the single most toxic relationship i've ever seen on film and me and my friend that watch them are actively rooting for them to not be together
Join the "We wish AT was smart enough to pull a late unreliable narrator twist" gang-
Seeing their reaction to “The Kissing Booth” makes me interested for them to also react to “Tall Girl”
17:33 Absolutely cracking up at the fact that Jono has like two separate reactions to that, one of immediate disgust and then another after he really registered what Alan just said. I had to watch it like five times
This series is from a book written by a teenager, Beth Reekles.
Oh my gosh I watched this movie with my friend and spent the when time being creeped our by Noah and constantly pointing out how uncool everything he did was. I was so mad that they were still together at the end! I was waiting for Elle to be like "oh actually you're a jerk and you don't own my so I'm out BYE" and was so disappointed. I haven't even bothered with the sequels. Also, Alan in this was absolutely how I reacted to the movie lol
I also found personally while Lee is the least crappy person in the movie he was also quite controling and you got the impression he made most of the rules on the list to keep her on line.
This is a movie that I’ve just been waiting to be covered. Glad to see there’s two parts of it siwdwjbd. I wish you both luck on the journey that is this trilogy
Likewise, this is their new Twilight series, and I'm delighted that they're pointing out EVERYTHING that's wrong with it.
Keeping on with the bad boy with a golden heart you should react to Jess and Rory's relationship (from gilmore girls) :)
I just found this channel and I am now hooked!
It’s good to see real life experts come together and analyze some of the most ridiculous/toxic relationship plot lines in movies and how they’re romanticized behind all recognition.
This movie is really troublesome. It portrays the girls as shallow and making offensive, racy remarks towards the boys. Swap that crap around with the girls and boys and you got a misogynist movie.
Amen and thank you!