"I find organizing tasks and sorting tasks really helpful that could be things like filing my paperwork it could be organizing a record collection or books um you know you know sorting out" Same here (helps reset my brain.) It really helps if what I'm organizing doesn't have to be organized--- i.e., its a "bonus." (If that makes sense.)
Oh yes totally with you on the 'if it doesn't have to be organised' thing. In fact, I'd go so far as to say if someone wanted me to do it, I'd probably end up messing it up. I used to sort buttons and coins as a kid. Still like to do that too
Sorting is one of my stims. I have a jar of large mixed color glitter and tiny beads that I sort with tweezers into an organizing tray. When I'm done it gets mixed up to sort again. 😂
Thank you for this. I have the same happen to me (I mean, what you described sounds like what I have), except that the reaction of my body is much less severe or different. But the mental part is the way you describe it. I had it yesterday. I suck things up from the environment as well, exactly like you say. l was in a meeting for job seekers where we had to pitch and critique. The 'teacher' (can't think of right word, leader) said i was wrong about my critique of another person and I felt bad about it because I wanted to help him not be bad for him, and it turned into shame, and then I had to do my "pitch" in front of the group about who I am and what I can do and what I'm looking for. I started to notice the faces, attention and everything on the people's faces so I couldn't think of my words or take in what they were saying, and i remembered all my failings and fears and I started to blame myself, feel a deep hopelesness and shame. I needed to cry but was in a professional setting so I tried to stay as calm as possible and look like I wasn't crying and tried to concentrate on other people to snap out of the personal badness. I was successful in not flipping out and seeming calm and collected. It was close to the end, so I could get out soon. When I was out I stood still in the hall of the building trying to kind of get back to myself. I realized this was strange and I didn'twant to arouse ideas in others that I needed help, so I pretended to look at things and stand there for a purpose. After a while I went out and noticed there was a breeze.....that is one of my favorite things so I sat in the breeze on a bench for quite some time watching people go by. When I was less out of it I collected my bike and instead of cycling home I cycled to all kinds of new spots, did mindless shopping and eventually found a patio next the water, with a lot of space around, where I calmed down somewhat. And when I'm doing all that, I'm kind of half there....my head is somewhere away as if my mind is free and is escaping the badness (i feel like I should get out of town and go travel, so I almost got on the train).....it's not a bad feeling, although my thoughts are really upsetting:, I'm filled with shame, sadness, purposelesness, hopelessness etc. I don't know how to keep it from happening and I'm very afraid I couldn't function in a job setting again. As a child I fled to an open space in the forest when it was unbearable at home, so I guess that's what I do when I go to flee to somewhere.
Thank you for sharing. It does sound similar to my experience & I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing that. There's definitely so much cross over of 'symptoms' and behaviours between neurodiversity, trauma and other mental health conditions. I've definitely found a lot of hope and comfort in following each trail of thought down to its origins but I'm not sure that everyone feels that way about this type of self- reflection. It takes a huge level of curiosity and very low self- judgement. Anyway good luck with everything. Let me know how you go
@@suddenlyautistic Thanks for your reply. I'm middle aged and did a PhD in a difficult department when I started getting lots of difficulties. I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder then, but I think that was just how all my long time existing issues expressed themselves after being put in a bad environment for too long. There were issues with my childhood home and I think this caused a bunch of it, but I also found out I had an autistic uncle, and I started to think...., but my parents aren't alive anymore, so I'm not sure it could even be diagnosed now if I have it. I'm not sure. I hoped a long rest could help but I've had my rest.... and poof ....I have another one of these anxiety things again when I get back into the "real world"...bummer.....so yeah, not sure what to do. It's really good to find some recognition in what someone else goes through because it makes me feel less alone in it and makes it feel less like a personal failing of some sort. So thank you for your video, and the timing was perfect because it literally happened yesterday and then I saw your video :)
Yes. Glad to be hearing what you're saying here. Knowing that past age 70 I'm resting slower than I once did, helps with accepting limits as my friend.
❤
"I find organizing tasks and sorting tasks really helpful that could be things like filing my paperwork it could be organizing a record collection or books um you know you know sorting out"
Same here (helps reset my brain.)
It really helps if what I'm organizing doesn't have to be organized--- i.e., its a "bonus." (If that makes sense.)
Oh yes totally with you on the 'if it doesn't have to be organised' thing. In fact, I'd go so far as to say if someone wanted me to do it, I'd probably end up messing it up. I used to sort buttons and coins as a kid. Still like to do that too
Sorting is one of my stims. I have a jar of large mixed color glitter and tiny beads that I sort with tweezers into an organizing tray. When I'm done it gets mixed up to sort again. 😂
@@suddenlyautistico I guess maybe I do something sort of similar, if I have a lot of change I'll spend a while counting it all up as a calming thing
@@meh_ladythat sounds cool
Thank you for this. I have the same happen to me (I mean, what you described sounds like what I have), except that the reaction of my body is much less severe or different. But the mental part is the way you describe it. I had it yesterday. I suck things up from the environment as well, exactly like you say. l was in a meeting for job seekers where we had to pitch and critique. The 'teacher' (can't think of right word, leader) said i was wrong about my critique of another person and I felt bad about it because I wanted to help him not be bad for him, and it turned into shame, and then I had to do my "pitch" in front of the group about who I am and what I can do and what I'm looking for. I started to notice the faces, attention and everything on the people's faces so I couldn't think of my words or take in what they were saying, and i remembered all my failings and fears and I started to blame myself, feel a deep hopelesness and shame. I needed to cry but was in a professional setting so I tried to stay as calm as possible and look like I wasn't crying and tried to concentrate on other people to snap out of the personal badness. I was successful in not flipping out and seeming calm and collected. It was close to the end, so I could get out soon.
When I was out I stood still in the hall of the building trying to kind of get back to myself. I realized this was strange and I didn'twant to arouse ideas in others that I needed help, so I pretended to look at things and stand there for a purpose. After a while I went out and noticed there was a breeze.....that is one of my favorite things so I sat in the breeze on a bench for quite some time watching people go by. When I was less out of it I collected my bike and instead of cycling home I cycled to all kinds of new spots, did mindless shopping and eventually found a patio next the water, with a lot of space around, where I calmed down somewhat. And when I'm doing all that, I'm kind of half there....my head is somewhere away as if my mind is free and is escaping the badness (i feel like I should get out of town and go travel, so I almost got on the train).....it's not a bad feeling, although my thoughts are really upsetting:, I'm filled with shame, sadness, purposelesness, hopelessness etc.
I don't know how to keep it from happening and I'm very afraid I couldn't function in a job setting again.
As a child I fled to an open space in the forest when it was unbearable at home, so I guess that's what I do when I go to flee to somewhere.
Thank you for sharing. It does sound similar to my experience & I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing that. There's definitely so much cross over of 'symptoms' and behaviours between neurodiversity, trauma and other mental health conditions. I've definitely found a lot of hope and comfort in following each trail of thought down to its origins but I'm not sure that everyone feels that way about this type of self- reflection. It takes a huge level of curiosity and very low self- judgement. Anyway good luck with everything. Let me know how you go
@@suddenlyautistic Thanks for your reply. I'm middle aged and did a PhD in a difficult department when I started getting lots of difficulties. I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder then, but I think that was just how all my long time existing issues expressed themselves after being put in a bad environment for too long. There were issues with my childhood home and I think this caused a bunch of it, but I also found out I had an autistic uncle, and I started to think...., but my parents aren't alive anymore, so I'm not sure it could even be diagnosed now if I have it. I'm not sure. I hoped a long rest could help but I've had my rest.... and poof ....I have another one of these anxiety things again when I get back into the "real world"...bummer.....so yeah, not sure what to do. It's really good to find some recognition in what someone else goes through because it makes me feel less alone in it and makes it feel less like a personal failing of some sort. So thank you for your video, and the timing was perfect because it literally happened yesterday and then I saw your video :)
Yes. Glad to be hearing what you're saying here. Knowing that past age 70 I'm resting slower than I once did, helps with accepting limits as my friend.