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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 มิ.ย. 2024
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This is the story of my upbringing and indoctrination into fundamentalist christianity, followed by my slow but steady deconversion and deconstruction of the faith, to my current stance of agnostic atheism. I hope my story can help anyone who is going through or has gone through a similar process. Please reach out if you need any help!
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Chapters
0:00 Preview
0:34 The 3 Reasons I'm Making This Video
1:40 1 Caveat
2:40 Background/Upbringing
4:32 "Never Really A Christian"
5:32 Stages Of Doubt
5:37 Childhood Questions
6:39 Willful Ignorance
7:25 From Fundamentalist To "Normal" Christian
10:24 The Harm
10:54 Watered-Down Christianity
12:05 Trying To Make It Work
12:40 Starbucks Christianity
14:07 My Own Christianity
14:29 Missionary Story About Lying/Justification
15:48 Missionary Prophecy About Me
17:07 My Wife And I
18:05 Two Haunting Thoughts/Salvation Issue
19:02 Native American Example/Justice
20:30 Gods Justice/Problem Of Evil/Suffering
21:39 Hell
22:07 Other Issues
23:20 The Big Picture
26:41 Coming Out
29:31 Reach Out
39:47 Final Thoughts
#deconversionfrom #deconversionfromchristianity #exchristian #atheism #deconversion #deconstruction #mydeconversion #leavingreligion #leavingchristianity #agnosticism #agnosticatheist #howibecameanatheist #howIleftreligion #mydeconstruction #deconstruction #sundayschool #mindshift - บันเทิง
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I'm an ex-Muslim and even though there are many differences between Islam and Christianity there are also many similarities and it's fascinating how my own journey of coming to doubt and eventually rejecting Islam has so many parallels to yours . Thank you for sharing.
Hey, Hassan. Thanks for sharing. Very different indeed but both suffer from obviously immoral and incorrect holy books and a very contradictory god in nature. Thats a recipe for deconversion ha! Appreciate you being here.
There is a good book by Dr D Ray called "The God Virus" it is a very good analogy, comparing religious thought to a virus.
You get infected via vectors, its only aim is to propagate itself and to do so can sacrifice hosts, put up defenses and immunize against rationality. A real Thinking stimulus.
All the best from Down Under.
Hassan: Glad that you're free now! Both religions are "slavery contracts with a jealous god/owner" , only that the Christian one is somewhat more "benevolent", due to centuries of reformation. All the best to you.
As an ex-Muslim, what have you experienced from your Muslim family and friends? I have heard some Muslims say they want to kill ex-Muslims. I have never heard Christians say that. Some Christians want atheists to leave the country, even though the U.S. was NOT founded as a Christian nation, despite what some Christians think.
I deconverted because I saw that you can take any religion and half of its doctrine was invented to make people feel better about their problems and half is invented to control other people. All over the world in all different times, people made up different stories to address these desires.
All these different stories don’t have any common factor that points to a real god speaking to us all. But the stories do all point to a human desire for explanations and for control.
Im so glad i was raised athiest. My mother was brought up with much religious trauma and even though she deconverted it still showed up in crazy ways i didnt see until i got older. Religion is a heavy thing to take off your shoulders!
Indeed. So light and free now
I was raised Baptist.
I went to my grandparents church they were Mennonite.
Went to a Lutheran Church.
Went to a Presbyterian church.
Went to a Catholic church once.
I've been to all the basic churches wherever I lived.
I had religion but not a relationship with God through Jesus Christ.
I wasn't like atheists who have to have proof of evidence of the existence of God.
I didn't need that or want it.
I discovered relationship with God through Jesus Christ to be better and more stable for me than anything or anyone could tell me.
My relationship with God through Jesus Christ is still with me today.
@@user-fq9ij4we4r Noted
It was so liberating to dump all those impossible and unacceptable beliefs and the guilt that came with them.
Liberating is the perfect word! Thanks for being here.
Yet you don't consider that the self-programming of DNA is dumb nor that your ancestor was a fish is dumb, nor that everything came from nothing is dumb..
the new testamennt is a historical document.... and it has the last word on you life
@@raysalmon6566 Have you noticed that believers love to assert their faith, but almost never justify it?
@@Radrook353Drastic oversimplification of science
Are you more content believing that one family (Noah) inbred among themselves to eventually make you? 😹
Pastor's kid here. 100% indoctrinated since birth. Really appreciated this video. Thank you.
Oh man. Good on you for making it out!
same
I am a pastors kid too, who married a pastors kid.
You are so right about the total indoctrination, every day, all day.
So glad we both thought our way out of this.
I related to so much of what was said in the video.
Seth Andrew’s said something years ago that summarized what I went through.
“Atheism isn’t a choice; it is a conclusion.”
I love that!
Well that hits the nail on the head for me
Conclusion of what?
@@stefansevcik1877 Understanding evidence, history, humanity, science. Understanding myth and legend and lies. Understanding a mind virus that STEALS your humanity. The conclusion is about the now and reality. Wrong? Show evidence that changes our minds.
@@stefansevcik1877Conclusion of the inanimate becoming animate 😂 silly
Watching this over again, I'm struck by your frustration with what religion does to the mind, how it made your wife cry over your newfound belief in evolution or how it made your best friend feel like he lost you. And I respect how you realize where they are coming from and don't hold that against them, because too many new atheists cut off their family for things like that. For myself, I find one of the most important things after my deconversion is to hold on to that sense of perspective. It really helps me from being bitter with people who still believe.
Thank you for that and for rewatching. Perspective is the right word and is a powerhouse for good decisions and protecting friends and family etc. Still all sucks, but truth is truth and its not worth living a lie.
Good luck in your path in the future. I wish you luck. But I will not pray for you LOL. I hope the Christians don't prey on you. Keep it up
@@Cuffsmaster This one won't prey on him, but I sure will point out his needless and tragically-costly oversights and resulting misconceptions, like that apologetics is all God has left Himself to prove Himself with, to answer His call to reason with Him and taste and see that He's good, as I privately pray for all former Christians. You would do well to check 'em out too.
@@MindShift-Brandon It sure isn't. If only you knew, I mean really knew, which you're doing now. Oh, if only you knew. If you stick with me as I answer your questions, maybe you'll begin to at least see the possibility of seeing otherwise.
@@AighEnoughAlready You believe is unfounded in fact and or evidence. But I know you have been conditioned to ignore that and let that information skip off your mind like a flat rock skipping across water.
None of the supernatural events claimed in the bible are anything but lies and often based on older religions. I know you reject that without even thinking about it which is sad because you reject simular claims of supernatural events in other faiths.
You willfully ignore facts in order to keep a false believe system more than likely caused by brainwashing from Childhood.
This made me realize just how deeply religion has traumatized me. I feel like I need to make a video talking through all these feelings I didn't know were still affecting me...
Please do. Im sure it would help others and be cathartic for yourself. My video this sunday is about what to do after a deconversion. Maybe that can also help further. Thanks for being here.
So, did you ever make the video? I've been thinking of doing the same.
Wow. I watched this with tears in my eyes as you just told my story too. I hear from many well-meaning Christian friends "Why did you leave?". Like it was something I wanted. It wasn't. Like you, I just kept pressing in, and found more and more issues. And I 'knew' that My God must have had the answers - so I pressed in further still. I pressed in so hard, that I found myself on the other side. It was painful. Everything I thought I knew about myself and reality was gone. I lost everything.
But.
I could build again. I discovered a world outside of my bubble, more rich, more wonderous and yes, more loving.
And I discovered a better me too.
Thank you for your channel Brendan. May you keep speaking to the land of drought so beautifully, honestly and passionately.
Thank so sincerely for this comment. I feel a kindred mind. Appreciate you sharing and your very kind and encouraging words.
Jesus says you must be born again to enter the kingdom in John 3. I notice as usual w/ these reconversion stories the presence of God is never talked about, answered prayer or prayers is never experienced and talked about, never the anointing of the Holy Spirit. Scripture says faith is a fruit of the Holy Spirit in Galatians. If there is no faith then there is no Holy Spirit. Romans teaches only the children of God are led by the Spirit of God. You never fully embraced the Gospel of Jesus. I'm native American myself. I've had the similar thoughts about my ancestors but God was still able to reach them through dreams and the general revelation. It's not impossible that they weren't saved in ancient America. I almost became an atheist myself but Jesus says In John 28-29 28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.
Holy Spirit spoke with me simultaneously one night when I said John 8:12 out loud. John 8:12 I am the light of the world. He who follows me shall not walk in darkness but have the light of life.
You've never been blessed with salvation! I was also in Jesus manifest presence that night as too. The manifest presence of God is the most powerful presence of God possible.
Same here. You are not alone. Was a evangelical Christian for over 40 years. Have advanced degrees in biblical theology, preached, taught many Bible classes, etc. Eventually found the courage to admit it was all human made, individualized, subjective interpretation of the god idea.
@@dmichael100 You must be born again of God's Spirit.
@@Giwii-ojimin Do you really think I haven't memorized, quoted, read, taught this verse dozens of times in my 40 years of Christianity?
Just quoting a verse from a book that we now know is a purely human product from long, long ago written in superstitious times says nothing.
"God's spirit" and "born again" are abstract, indefinable, undemonstrated, ideas. Nothing more.
I awoke from mormonism about 15 years before your eyes were uncovered. It was like being released from a prison I hadn’t realized I was in. But I stepped outside and saw with new eyes and have never stopped rejoicing.
I also had a moment of feeling like I literally "woke up" near the beginning of when my deconstruction journey really started. I was raised in Evangelicalism, which is also a cult.
It’s been a little over a year since I deconverted. I really can’t wrap my head around it anymore and the verbal gymnastics Christians will give to excuse God or the Bible leaves me dumbfounded. I’m grateful for channels like yours because it helps me feel normal.
Thanks for sharing your story. I was raised Mormon, but I left when I was 28. I became a Christian ( non-denominational) soon after that. I started actually studying the Bible and listening to Athiest/Agnostic stuff and it blew my mind. Ugh. 🤦🏼♀️ It broke my heart, but my life has become so much better as I take my life into my own hands. Keep up the great work!
Oh wow. What a story! Id love to pick your mind sometime. I actually have an interview ill be posting with an ex mormon in a few weeks. Thanks for the support!
@@MindShift-Brandon Sweet! I would be glad to let you pick my mind! 😂
Another Mormon who just left! I’d be down to let you pick my brain too 😂
This is my story too.
Mormon who realized Joseph Smith was a fraud. Turned to Christianity but realized I had to use the same critical thinking for mainstream Christianity that I used to analyze Mormon scripture and truth claims.
It all fell apart and while it was devastating at first, everything that didn’t make sense my whole 50 years finally became crystal clear. It’s all mythology and stories! These legends and stories may be well meaning and they may have helped individuals and societies progress, but they are all manmade which explains why they are so flawed and confusing. For a God who claims He is not the author of confusion I can’t imagine a more confused group of people. Thousands of “Christian” denominations, many believing theirs is the only true way. Could there be anything more confusing?
Hard to lose your community as well as your religion. Best wishes.
This is a fascinating story. I’ve been an atheist since I was a kid and have looked at religion from the outside. It’s always been hard for me to understand how anyone could believe in any of them. This story certainly helps with that. Great video.
Glad to help offer perspective. I cant imagine what growing up atheist would be like!
Same! I vividly remember the day I became an atheist. I was 5. It was the day I learnt Santa Claus is not real. It was just a very easy connect the dots moment from one bearded old man who grants wishes to another.
Lol!
Love that.
Human beings are capable of finding evidence for anything they want to believe. If I feed you evidence for 18 years that the moon is made of cheese, the moon will be made of cheese, as far as you're concerned. The evidence for Christianity is overwhelming, from the point of view of someone who has only been living on one side of the fence. A fish is irrational if he thinks the world is not made of water, and a Christian is irrational if he thinks there is no evidence for god.
Hey everyone! Many of you have seen this one from my old channel, but like I said, I want to get my previous videos moved over one by one. I did cut the time down and cleaned it up. I hope this helps many people who are going through something similar. Thanks for your support!
Can you take on the recent video by sabine hossenfelder on is being trans a social fad among teenagers? Thank you very much for your content!
Ill have to look it up. Thanks so much for making a suggestion. Love that.
I didn't know anything about your old channel but I had watched a few of your videos on this channel and the thought had crossed my mind, "Damn, that's quite the bookshelf." 🤣🤣🤣
Lol! Thats how it all started ha. But i couldnt help myself from talking about what i really wanted too
Are you aware you have the one on hell left to move over? Well either way, be aware I've posted some comments above and will be giving you the answers you haven't gotten and likely think don't exist. So make sure you stick with me as I do, and expect your eyes to finally be opened. Will I need to add @MindShift or @MindShiftSkeptic to make sure you see them?
What a story man! Thank you for your vulnerability and thoughtfulness. This is the perfect version of a deconversion story.
My pleasure. The aim here is to help others who are going through it. Glad to hear its resonating.
This felt perfectly structured. It was organic and from the heart, or at least, seemed to be
Although I started questioning at an early age my mother was able to convince me it was all true. I finally let it go in my 50’s. My beat friend told me I was going to hell, my uncle told me I was going to hell. Basically my two best friends. Talk about being hurt. Life is so weird… thanks for being you. I would love to have a friend like you.
Been on your journey too. Was bought up in a fundermental cult - jw. Then left when I read the bible for myself and also they're history etc. Joined a church. For this I was shunned by my parents and friends, nearly cost me my marriage too. But like you I only wanted the truth and to be true to myself. I was a born-again Christian for 7 years. Then took a step back and critically examined the bible! So for the first 34 years a born in jw, the next 7 years a born-again christian. Now I believe similar as you especially after reading Greek mythology and seeing it so similar to the bible stories. I am an A-theist, that is I do not believe in a personal god. I have a belief in the source or absolute which we are a part of. I am convinced that we are more than our sum parts. So I am spiritual. Tomorrow I may think differently. Life is after all a path. Having been on a journey like this makes me more tolerant of others beliefs, mainly because I was once where they are now. But I find that it is very hard to convince anyone until they own their doubts and are ready to reason - not just defend their beliefs. So I will not challenge jws at their little stands or Christians who shout about Jesus in the street. It just ends up in a heated arguments. (They tend to be heated not me, which tells you something). Well that's my 1/2 pence worth. Peace and love my bro. 😜 from England
love it, thanks for sharing. what a crazy story. Having to deconvert twice essentially. I too am open to the possibility of a higher power, but at this point, until something reveals itself, i am done on the believing in invisible beings game. If a creator or force does exist, i do not think it has revealed itself and thus I have 0 responsibility in that for now. Again thanks for sharing. A pleasure having you here.
Welcome to the wonderful world of atheism my friend. The only person you should believe in now is yourself. You’re making the right choice doing this. It’s a lot better than being a judgmental Christian.
Good point, finding God or jesus is also known as giving up on yourself. Believers should have more confidence in themselves. Indoctrination, brainwashing or a mid life crisis is what gets most people to believing in a God. Simple minds want Simple answers....God did it.
I deconverted at 12- I read the Bible cover to cover and when I finished so was my belief.
I am jealous. Proud of you for figuring it out so early on!
Lucky! Only stopped when I was 23. Now 28
@@LadyOfTheEdits Better than never! You still have a whole life of free thinking ahead. Happy for you.
@@wickjezek5093 ww thank you so much!
and i deconverted from islam when i was 15- so just a year ago! im glad i have center-left parents who dont judge me for my deconversion (and the fact that im LGBT as well)
Very well presented. The process of discovering that we had been lied since birth is a painful and traumatic one. My process was a very long one. At the end I made my last prayer to this god. I was 57 and I told this god that I had been talking with him for the last 57 years of my life. Now its
his turn to respond. I’m 62 and still haven’t heard nothing from him. It’s curious that you can have a relationship with something that does not respond. My final conclusion was that Christians have a relationship with a story, they warship the story, but as all stories the book can not respond, neither the characters in the book.
Thank you! Man so glad to hear you made it out, no matter the age.
Damn that's a huge eye opener
Christians have a relationship with an idea. The "God" and "personal Jesus" idea. Ideas can be powerful and meaningful, right. Doesn't make them true.
God and Jesus are personified ideas.
Beautiful irony. Now you are speaking to the land when there is drought. I appreciate you. You are helping me.
Thank you. I am very pleased to hear that!
I’ve been deconverting for the past year and recently had the conversation with my husband about it, its ROUGH! Please share more of your experience with how you and your wife are managing this together specially with your kids. Thank you for sharing your experience and for your channel!
It is indeed! Thank you for this comment. I hope to do a video on it soon
Give him short TH-cam vids, show him the similarities of ALL the Gods worshipped b4 Jesus
When I hear stories like yours, and how much you had to go through to arrive at your current position, I feel incredibly lucky to have been raised without any comment on God either for or against by my parents ever. It wasn't until I was 13 and firmly in a skeptical mindset before I had my first real exposure to Christianity by way of a girl that I was dating whose father was a pastor. While immediately I was enamored ( both with the girl and with the religion- surprise surprise) it did not take long for my critical faculties to realize that the things they were teaching us couldn't possibly be true, and that they were simply trying to manipulate our emotions. My conversion and deconversion occurred over a short 6-month period and left me the rest of my life up until now to learn all about the various world religions without having to fight any deeply ingrained beliefs. My parents weren't the greatest people ever, but I really do thank them for that.
"Once I left fundamentalism, there was no stopping atheism" Same with me. In retrospect, no way was I going to make it through a full life on this earth as a christian. I'm just not wired for self-deception that way.
For me, the best thing about leaving chrisitanity was being able to meet new people and not have to classify whether they were christian or not. Now I just meet people and it's cool.
“You were never a real Christian” was my exact problem. As I kid I prayed and prayed and accepted Christ at least three times, and it didn’t feel real to me, and that freaked me out. Why is god so silent? Why are others experiencing god and I’m not. Hell surely awaited me. Horrible experience. As an adult, the theology of Christianity is clearly so abusive and loaded with self hate. No thianks, I am good enough!!!!
I am just walking down this same road. I've been harmed so much by Christianity. I've cried and left so many good things because they weren't okay with Jesus. The faith is seductive because it presents things that humans need, like community and emotional bonding and purpose. If only all those energies were directed towards saving our planet and making a real paradise on earth. Your video is a deep comfort and I will be watching them all and benefiting greatly. I'm so sorry about your struggle with your family. You are not alone.
Appreciate this. Thanks so much for sharing and being here.
I'm married to the same woman for thirty years now. I left the same denominational background as you 2016, my wife was a lot more indoctrinated than me. The same year I came down with a very painful neurological disorder, things got really rough for a few years, but I refused to pray about it. We've had to learn to navigate around this subject. We have two teenage boys, and another son who's 25, years old. I leave god out of my mouth and say things the way they are in real life using tact, and being mindful of common ground that won't offend as much. But I'm honest and things are working out pretty good at this point, i think being honest with myself and those around me is the way I approach all subject matter, I always leave out gods, and religious language. Great video!!
That is encouraging to hear! How did it go with your younger kids at the time? Did you tell then how you believed or lack there of. Were they religious,? Was it difficult to watch them do that?
It's teaching all my kids, that religion doesn't get to dictate my life for me anymore. I now do that without the aid of religion. But it's also teaching them, that dad's not this evil monster, because I don't believe. I'm still the same dad and they know I love them religion I don't need a religion, to love them.
If you substitute "God" or "Jesus" with "Flying Spaghetti Monster" it helps to make the ridiculousness stand out. Of course then they will think you're nuts. Go figure.
@@grepora "If you substitute "God" or "Jesus" with "Flying Spaghetti Monster" it helps to make the ridiculousness stand out." LOL. Really? There is good evidence the spaghetti monster doesn't exist, even a child knows this. Same with santa and other myths. Demonstrably false. But there is very good evidence that God does exist, historical, scientific, philosophical, moral, etc... This also means that almost all other religions are false. Religions is one of the best weapons satan has to hide the truth.
@@elkhuntr2816no, you have no evidence, you're not being honest. You ignore the truth put before you and change topic. That's dishonest.
It's so nice to live without perpetual anxiety and paranoia, immersed in resolving doubts, thinking your faith has been restored only for the doubts to return even stronger as your subconscious dismantles the clever rationalizations you found in the internal church literature that week. It's such a blessing to just believe whatever appears to be true, change those beliefs as needed without drama, and draw no conclusions where none are required.
My Dad, Stepdad, Brother and Sister in Law are all preachers. They ALL believe differently. Yet they ALL look down on me for stating the obvious. I THANK YOU for making these videos. They are informative, well researched, and you have the background to ward off most arguments. The world NEEDS people who aren’t scared to speak truth.
Thank you for this!
I was a Baha'i for 40 years, but it find it so interesting that the deconvertion process/steps was so similar.
Also, as a recent atheist, and because vocal ex-Baha'is are so rare to be almost mythical, channels like yours is where I had to turn, and I have to tell you how much I enjoy your straightforward approach. Many thanks.
Appreciate that. Thank you much!
I meditated with a Baha'i couple in a hotel garden in Mexico 25 years ago. Never met a Baha'i before or since. Super good people.
Best wishes.
I just recently found your channels. I remember going through my deconversion, losing what friends I had, my wife thinking I betrayed her and not wanting a future with me. It was a rough time.
Thank you for being here. How long ago was it for you. How have things gone with your wife since?
@@MindShift-Brandon it was about 13 years ago. Didn't go well with my wife, she didn't want to be with or have kids with someone that wasn't a Christian so we got divorced soon after.
Oh wow. So sorry to hear that. What a tough situation for everyone. Thanks for sharing.
@@MindShift-Brandon it's all good now. I have had several friends that have decoverted and were able to maintain a happy marriage and raise their kids, so I know it can work.
Thanks for sharing. This isnt messy at all.
The struggle is very real. Trying to answer the questions of young children make you revisit everything to try find a way to explain it, and religion is not an easy topic to explain.
Thank you for that. Appreciate your kindness here!
This is one of the best videos I've seen on why a person leaves their faith. I'm looking forward to hearing much more from this insightful person.
Oh wow. What a compliment. Thank you so much! Appreciate the support.
Mine wasn't as hardcore as yours. Raised in the "Starbucks" Christianity church, but never felt it. Youth group, boy scouts, all that, and l tried to believe it, but couldn't. I legit believed in Santa longer than Jesus. And as a teen and young adult, l was really hostile towards religion and those who believed. As an adult, able to see, learn, self assess and use critical thinking, I'm now with the mindset of it's almost like sexual orientation, you're either born with it or not. I was raised in a religious house, like I said, but I never believed, despite trying to. I've met others who are deeply religious or spiritual but were raised in deeply atheist families. So, to me, if one is born without a religious inclination, all the church and outward shows won't help, you'll always feel like it's a lie, but if you were born with that inclination, you'll always feel like something is missing until you find it. That's how I can now better understand those whom I respect and respect their intelligence, but who believe. They were simply born with a need that l don't have. My wife has that need, and I go to church with her--and l enjoy it. I don't believe it, but I do enjoy it. It's good people and usually, while I doubt the basis of message, a lot of times, the message is helpful, like going to a philosophy class. Just my $.02.
Yeah I agree. Some people have simply put in no other words spiritual longing.
It is to a different degree, some will get spiritual despite very atheist upbringing and some don't even with it.
Some are in the middle. Only with indoctrination.
It is as it is unfortunately.
Glad you never believed 😊. No trauma for you.
Wow! I am so sorry for all you had to go through. What a toll. You have handled this so well and with so much integrity. Thank you for your story!
Thank you for your empathy and the compliments. It is my pleasure to share this story.
What a powerful video. The effect on your relationships really touched me. As difficult as it all sounds, I wish this journey for all Christians. It feels like a story of escape from bondage. I’m so glad you’re out,but I’m sorry that it’s struggle with friends and family.
Thats very kind of you. Thank you!
I re-watched Nonstampcollector's videos on Noah's Ark. You're right. Who in their right mind could possibly continue believing that the story is true. 🤗
lol no doubt. its just embarrassing how long I held on to it. His work is amazing. My favorite is his video on context
@@MindShift-Brandon Haven't seen that one before. You're right again. 🤗
The correct context is one where killing children is okay, okay? LOL
You did a good job. I left Christianity, four years ago. I'm so happy. I'm 60 years old.
Hell has been a big one for me. I arrived at this ... If just even one person exists in 'Hell', who was someone's son, brother etc.. then everyone in 'Heaven' is enjoying it whilst someone else suffers eternally. Which for me would be the greatest 'sin'. There wouldn't be a Heaven unless you were brainwashed into removing the knowledge of Hell the Bible gave you
Thank you for your story. My daughter was damaged by her experience with fundamentalism too. She was always the outsider, the one who didn't want to play in the youth group games, who didn't want to go to the activities, and never felt good enough. Yet others her age (then 12-13 yo), and supposedly more spiritually minded, would torment her with stories of how they would love to take her pet budgie and cook it and eat it in front of her. A lovely Christian girl said that to my daughter!
As for me, the first week we went to that church I remember having a discussion with the pastor about God 'increasing' Eve's pain in childbirth because of her sin. I said to him, "If God is increasing the pain, then that means there was pain to begin with. You can't increase something if it's not there at all!" Of course, he poo-pooed my observation.
I could fill a whole page with things that happened there, that today, I just shake my head and wonder why I stayed so long. You know the answer to that. Security, like-minded people, 'love' from one another, etc. Now I know none of those answers are worthwhile. I am not an atheist (yet), but I can say that I am searching for better answers. (And Answers in Genesis does NOT contain them!)
Right. EXERCISING faith is not passive. It’s a work, if even a work done by God in us. I never understood people saying faith is not a work.
I must say, your story is very similar to mine, I was born in Guatemala and lived breath and studied in a Christian school, a home study once a week, Saturday was youth study, Sunday was the main service and Bible study in school three days a week, not only was I unmerged in it, but I truly believed I was in the right path, I was in the holy Spirit, speaking in tongues etc, until I started to study other fields to defend my faith and oh boy I was shocked in how little christian foundation is based on facts and truth, but more importantly, the horrific truths in the bible that made me realize I was actually brainwashed to believe in all that nonsense just for the fear of eternal torment, I feel liberated, I feel completely free yet I am a very moral well educated person and didn't leave the faith to pursue a sinful life.
You are much to be admired for your courage and intellectual honesty, despite your pursuit of truth leading you in the opposite direction to your family and friends. That shows extraordinary strength. Well done, Sir.
I really appreciate those kind words and support! Thank you for being here.
Brandon, you and I have such a similar story - every word resonated with me. I was a missionary kid, was prophesied over, always had questions.. married and had 4 kids in the faith, atheist at 30 ish.
I'm now 59. My wife is still a Christian - 3 out of my 4 fantastic children are strong atheists, they were brought up in church with my wife, and attended Christian school. My Christian son is a fantastic person. It hasn't been easy .. I lost friends, was threatened by 2 good friends to not talk to their kids. I have often felt frowed upon and pitied by family. I have a wonderful wife but it has definitely caused a strain and diminished our relationship. But ... I have made plenty of new friends, love my sunday mornings! ... and recently 2 of my daughters expressed their gratitude to me for always being true to what I believed, they saw their friends being sucked into Christian conditioning and were so thankful that I had shown them an alternative.
Thanks so much for your eloquent and thoughtful videos. Life is good.
Oh wow. Similar indeed. Thank you so much for being here and for sharing!
Having been a former true believer in Jesus Christ, I can relate to this on so many levels. An excellect presentation and explanation of what a person goes thru when leaving something that was once so foundational to one's almost every thought about anything.
I was an athiest my whole life, even though I was raised Catholic. I was creeped out by the religious stories and thought it sounded insane, as a kid. Then at around age 40 some things happened to make me feel like I could have been wrong about Christianity. A ton of crazy coincidences. When I accepted Christianity & that I was a sinner, my phone immediately lit up with a random message "be blessed and know that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior" from an unknown number. Like what???? It was crazy, I was fully convinced. Then I attended a church for a year, prayer group, etc. I started diving deep into reading and studying the Bible. That's where the issues started. The Bible is illogical, strange, God in the Bible is violent, petty, angry. It started falling apart. I don't know what I believe anymore.
It's always great to hear deconversion "testimony" It's refreshing. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for watching!
@@MindShift-Brandon
You're very welcomed.
Thank you so much for this Brandon. You and I have so much in common in our deconversion journeys. I appreciate you, and your candor.
Thanks for watching again and the kind words. Excited to catch up
My mother used to threaten me with stoning when I was a kid. Well, she said if it wasn't illegal now, that i would be in danger of a stoning. Great childhood.
Thank you for spreading our word!! I am a true believer in atheism.
welcome to the world of logic and critical thinking. I’m proud of you for being able to break your shackles of indoctrination and cognitive dissonance, congratulations..
Thank you much!
Ex catholic, later studied buddhism, taoism and hinduism & found spirituality instead of religion, life has never been the same, peace & bliss !!🤞
I have never believed in supernatural stuff, so… Could you define define what spirituality is to you?
Literally a demon distracting you to idolatry don’t fall for that bro
This has been a life long struggle for me. I was indoctrinated at a very young age, and much like you as a child I would ask questions that seemed obvious but would get useless answers like "that's what we call faith." My whole life Christianity has never felt right. I could never reconcile myself to a god that would punish someone he "loved" in the most horrific ways we couldn't even imagine, for all eternity, literally longer than the universe will exist, all for a temporary crime, and that he would know that's what would happen and would still send us to earth anyway. The definition of injustice is when the punishment doesn't match the crime, so how could that God be just? I left the church as a teenager to explore other beliefs that felt kinder and more compassionate, only to be roped back in by an overzealous relative who showed me an NDE of a religious girl who was given a tour of heaven and hell. This girl saw Michael Jackson, Selena, and disobedient children in hell. I was so disturbed that I cried for 3 days. Then I finally decided to try Christianity again, but this time by reading the Bible, not relying on a church. And only out of fear and stress, not out of curiosity or a spiritual calling. Any time I would read the Bible, I would be upset for days. Once I got to the parts condoning people being burned alive "to cleanse the community" I couldn't even stomach that anymore. I've been beating myself up for a decade wondering why I couldn't be ok with it, why it always felt wrong, why it didn't make sense, but I kept trying anyway. Though every day I would hate Christianity a little more, loathe religion more, and loathe myself for not being able to do it. Thank you for making these videos. I know it's hard to lose your people. I know it's hard to accept something so awful and terrifying when your God given ability to critically think makes it impossible. I know there are "rules" about "leading the sheep astray" and that it takes a lot of courage to do what you're doing, but you are giving comfort to people. Its still a struggle, but at the very least you're letting us know we're not alone. And personally, I'm grateful because you're elucidating questions, concerns, and doubts I've had that I couldn't even quite put my finger on. So thank you.
My pleasure! Thanks so much for being here and for sharing
I'm very happy for you, I used to believe that hardcore endoctrinated people could never see through the mind control and you proved it to be wrong, you are a hero!
Thats too kind, but yes we can be woken up! Theres hope for anyone if i made it out!
Your story is really eye opening and helpful. Thanks for being honest and transparent.
Glad to do so. Thank you!
Thanks for being candid about your difficulties Brandon.
Thanks so much for sharing. When I got “unsaved” after a similar upbringing I went through a very tough transition of hopelessness and anxiety. I found that for the first time I don’t want anyone to do what I did. I don’t have conversations with parents or old Christian friends about why they should stop believing bc I don’t want them to go through what I did when I lost that basic fundamental part of my life since childhood. I was blown away that your wife is still in it. Coodos to u guys for valuing your relationship and the kids throughout that transition
You have been through a lot on this journey. Please keep doing these videos. It helps to hear you articulate the things I’ve felt about religion, but couldn’t put into words.
Thanks for that!
I just came across your content and I’m finding it very relatable. Thank you for sharing your experience. It is messy and difficult but feels good to genuinely be myself without all these questions and contradictions always hanging over me! I’ve never felt such peace. I’m finally right with myself!
So glad to hear you fully have made it out and have peace! And thanks for being here!
Great video! I’m actually kind of going through my own deconstruction now. Your story is very relatable.
Thank you. Here if you need anything on your journey.
@@MindShift-Brandon thank you sir, you are too kind!
Keep going on your journey for truth. You are not alone.
You said to reach out if going through a similar process and journey. It’s been a while I’ve had cognitive dissonance and started my doubts and questioned the Christian lifelong faith. I’m 47 now and April this year I declared to myself, husband and children that I’m out’!
This your TH-cam deconversion story made me cry for my own dumbed down worldview. Hand up I was indoctrinated and I feel so bad and guilty for beginning to indoctrinated my own children. Would appreciate sharing more……
my email is in the description of each video. Please feel free to send me what you'd like and I will absolutely reply when I can!
Keep going eyeswideopen! I feel for you as I 'came out' at a similar age. The journey is hard and painful, but oh so rewarding. To be yourself, to be free. Its never to late to start again. Lots of love to you.
@@garymorton2876
What a lovely response of encouragement, truly appreciated
I can relate. I stopped being able to believe this stuff at age 46 and am now 53. The family relationships are a hard part of all of this. But Jesus did say "I have come so that a son will be against his father, a daughter will be against her mother, a daughter-in-law will be against her mother-in-law. A person's enemies will be members of his own family." He also said "“Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple." I don't think most Christians actually believe this deep down, but it is supposedly what Jesus taught. FAMILY VALUES!!!
My experience is much like yours. The personal relations are the hardest parts to navigate- especially the spouse. You say it well when you point out that your Christian friends/family are still acting in good faith in trying to save your soul.
The most frustrating part is they can’t wrap their minds around the idea that you were once just as sincere in your beliefs as they are now. They think you are lying or that you secretly still believe and are denying reality.
yes, they cant accept that we were really the same, because then that means they might be able to lose their faith too. Its a defense mechanism for sure. Thanks for sharing and for being here.
I am still in the stage that I don’t want anyone to know i am closer to non belief than to belief in the christian god, or any god. The fear, stress and uncertainty is very real. More power to you as you continue to work with your spouse for the benefit of your family
Appreciate that. Glad to hear you are waking up to it all but i know how hard the in between part is. Keep learning!
@@MindShift-BrandonI appreciate the honesty and sincerity of your words. I practice African spiritually after being raised a Christian and even an altar boy in Catholic church. It's funny how the easiest way to discredit the scriptures is through history. What I find priceless in African spirituality is the correlation between science and spirituality especially in Egyptian/kemetic spiritual systems.
@@MindShift-Brandon ancient spiritually used stories/parables to explain creation and moral principles but somewhere in history these stories/parables were twisted to be taken literally and frankly it's childish and ignorance in its essence to ignore common sense and take the things literally
I heard a therapist say that it's usually the most devout believers that end up deconstructing, because there is no recourse for when the system fails.
I feel you man. I was raised in a cult, and then my mom took us the Assembly of God churches to show us we weren't the only people in the world who believed in God (something I really believed as a kid).
While I never believed in Jesus (I was still getting the cult teachings from my dad at home), it still took until I was almost 30 to leave that life behind. I still feel a need for ritual and am very wary of magical thinking. I know it's something I'll struggle with for the rest of my life.
But my life is so beautiful now. I don't live in constant fear, and I get to fully acknowledge how wonderful other people can be.
I know it's hard man, but we're not alone.
That makes a great deal of sense. Thanks!
I studied the bible too much. I believed too much. I remember the moment i thought i wouldn't stop until i had the truth, bc obviously the bible will be at the end of that. I had no idea whatsoever that it would lead to unbelief. I truly thought i would just have a way to refute those that didnt believe so they could see the bible was true. I was so surprised, shocked, that i ended up losing my entire belief system. I mourned over it. It was excruciating.
That was my experience
Fantastic video! I've been deconstructing for about 2 years now and I 100% align with your frustrations. I'm excited to watch the rest of your videos, keep up the great work!
Thank you so much, Lacey and welcome to the channel. Congrats on your recent freedom as well!
The path to Wisdom is courage and curiosity. The path to Superstition is fear and ignorance. I think if it is truly of a God of the universe it would spark the virtues of courage and curiosity not the religions we have today that either run away from knowledge or seek to hide and obfuscate knowledge. A god of the universe could not be as insecure as these religious people who claim to speak for it.
Very well said! I think and say this all the time, its not hard to improve on our current gods and holy books. If mere men could make little changes to the nature and books of these gods that clearly make them more just, honest, etc just imagine what a truly just, all-powerful and all knowledgeable god would really look like and could really do.
When you said "someone smarter than me has addressed this, and theyre still a believer, so ill move on"... wow that hit hard. This is exactly what I do. Long confusing journey ahead for me I think. Glad I found this channel
Its a journey worth taking. Good luck. Reach out if you get stuck!
@MindShiftSkeptic thank you! I'm beginning to admit to myself what I've known for a while, but as you once were I'm dreading the conversations ahead. An entire life seems poised to unravel if I give this up...
I went to church angry for several years before I finally admitted to myself and to my husband that I needed to leave. It was very liberating, but my husband and I fight about it a lot, especially because we have 3 kids who identify as lgbtq+
Thank you for your story. My husband and i became less religious and more politically left together over 10 years, but had we not independently gone in the same directions i don’t know where our marriage would be now. I admire your resolve in coming out to your wife when it must have felt like you were risking your family.
Thank you for the kind encouragement. So cool that you and tour spouse were able to make the moves together
Excellent. My life has followed a similar path. But I was stuck down the rabbit hole for far longer. Keep up the good work! 👍
The worst part of Christianity is that is convinces children from the day they’re born that they are broken and always will be.
I’m lucky. Religion was never part of my family life going back three generations.
Yes its one of the worst attributes, hands down.
When believers are evangelizing, belief is a super simple thing. When we tell them we deconverted, belief becomes this thing we somehow didn't do just right. But that's a defense mechanism on their part to help them dismiss our experience instead of considering it.
My mother is and has always been an unwavering believer. But what's odd to me is that she is very logical and clear-thinking about everything else in life. Except her faith. It's annoying, and it actually does keep a small distance between us. I mean she did tell me she's afraid I'm going to hell because I don't believe, so clearly, she judges me. The fact that I live a normal decent, honest life doesn't make me good enough for her god.
Decency has nothing to do with Christianity.
It's all about knowing when to bow down to the invisible overlord and saying the correct magical name. ( Even if that name was invented over 1500 years after the magical guidebook was written.)
Been there got the t shirt, I know what you are going through. To be honest with yourself is precious x
This was very inspiring! good on you for taking the path of intellectual honesty and not compromising in your journey for truth! I wish you all the best, and enjoy your videos very much!
Thats so very kind. Thank you!
I find these deconversion stories very interesting.
I became an atheist at around 14/15 (in Catholic Italy, where the religion is EVERYfuckingWHERE), and I used to wonder how grown adults believe this obvious (to me) nonsense.
Thanks for sharing.
I live in Italy, and religion is perceived as being just for rural elders and Comunione e Liberazione cult members in my entourage. Most people dont even need to conceive of themselves as atheists because religion is just "the traditions about festivities" for nearly everyone i know who's below 60
Thank you for sharing your testimony. I’m a Christian in the PNW who grew up mostly around Atheists and your story really reasonates with many of theirs. I’m so glad to hear that even though your friends were hurt, you and your wife still have love for each other and are staying together.
I found your channel from the video discussing issues with Heaven and I immediately subscribed. I love watching your videos and hearing your thoughts on Christianity.
I like to pretend that it’s a dialogue and offer my own thoughts on the matter intermittently, and I find that the topics that you present are great practice for having respectful dialogue! You aren’t over-the-top, you’re passionate because you care and not just because “someone hurt you” or whatever. I like to hear your side and thoughts, please keep sharing.
Many thanks for telling this moving story so cogently and with such honesty. I have only recently discovered your videos and find them without exception captivating, very well researched, and confidently presented. You speak fast but always clearly and you present your arguments so intelligently.
What kind feedback. Thank you very much!
Thank you for sharing your story, it's not usually easy for most to do because of the ramifications, but I appreciate it. For me, the whole journey has finally led to my freedom and that is worth everything!
Congrats!!
When I finally told my wife 10 years ago that I no longer believed, that I was an atheist. And that I had lost my belief a year before, she did not understand how I could choose not to believe. But what was worse is in her mind I broke her trust by not trusting that she would accept me for who I was. We are in the middle of a divorce over many different reasons. But I suspect that the biggest fissure started then.
Really sorry to hear that man. Im sure its been such a long and tough journey this last decade.
Thank you for an honest presentation of the relevant issues relating to the believability of the Bible.
Good video. I appreciate your compassion towards believers.
I deconverted / hit the breaking point in my deconstruction about 3 years ago. I think similar to other people, I reached a point where all I wanted was the truth no matter the consequence. And it’s been a wonderful journey out of religion getting all new perspectives, learning so much more about the sciences and how the world works and how people work. For anyone just starting, it is difficult but it’s worth it.
Thank you for sharing. I admire your intellectual rigour and honesty.
My pleasure and thank you for that!
Just came here from your other channel that I just found today. Looking forward to the videos!!
Thanks for dealing with the move! Appreciate you coming over!
Thank you for this video. I love your honesty, integrity, and intelligence. Keep it up
I totally resonated with the free grace theology and then transition to the liberal/moderate Christianity. My last attempt to hold onto Christianity was Christian Universalism, aka David Bentley Hart’s “That all shall be saved.” Free grace theology really emphasizes assurance of salvation, which I still never had when I was a believer because I was always questioning, “What if the Calvinists are right? What if the Armenians are right?” Love your videos Brandon. Really liked the one on free will. Keep it up!
Thank you so much. Man, do I agree. i was always in doubt. Shouldnt be that way if it was real, ha!
Grace is the overall theme of the Bible!
@@jmdsservantofgod8405 Yep, I can see all the Grace in the flood story, Job, and all the land grabs.
@@leob3447 you have to see the forest and trees!
Your intellectual fortitude is an inspiration.
Thats very kind. Thank you much
Man... could we ever have a great conversation. My story, of course, is not identical. But your mind set and path have such similarities. I REALLY identify the feeling of embarrassment. When I finally realized I no longer believed, it was my strongest emotion: Embarrassment. Dang.
Thats interesting. Ill have to do some thinking on strongest emotion. Thanks for sharing!
Look at those books 😍. Thanks for this informative and candid video. Sometimes I miss the false certainty I had when I was religious/spiritual, but no amount of comfort is worth sacrificing truth for.
Loved the video
Thanks for sharing your story.
Thanks for the video
This is one of the best deconversion stories I've listened to. Well done, your work is important
Thank you. I appreciate that!
Whew! That’s amazing you’re still married to a believer (and she with an unbeliever). I was married to the pastor’s brother and who grew up in the church. When christianity wasn’t adding up for me, I knew our marriage wasn’t going to hold. My parents, siblings and friends were all Christians and tried to “help” me either with kind words or by shunning. I left the country and the marriage and over a period of 10 years, I left the faith. It’s been a hard road because indoctrination is real. I’m no longer afraid of an afterlife and am grateful for each day of a life free of religion.
My parents attempted to brainwash me as a child but I never bought into it, didn't make any sense, I asked a lot of questions, got a lot of non-answers. But my parents weren't fundies, they were liberal Catholics, although still forced it on us, more out of the sense of duty to religiously educate their kids at the time it was the 1960s, religiosity very high, and I didn't grow up in the Bible Belt, was mid-Atlantic, DE/MD/VA (northern). In those days you couldn't tell anyone you didn't believe or you'd get ostracized, so I remained a closet atheist until about the 1980s. I had no one to talk to, no information available on atheism, in fact I don't think I even knew there was a name for my disbelief until my teens. I feel sorry for anyone trapped in that psychologically abusive revolving door of guilt, shame and repentance. Good luck to anyone deconstructing, be strong!
I deconstructed my faith over the course of several hours when I was 17. Such trauma! I came close to killing myself that night, but by the dawn of January 1, 1969 I was an agnostic/atheist--I wasn't sure which for some time. I don't recommend this method; but I doubt my pain was worse than yours. It was concentrated, though. It has been 48 years, and I am grateful every day for the loss of the pain Christianity caused me. I've raised four moral children without religion, and I am so proud of their evident goodness. I always had a problem accepting original sin, and now I think it is child abuse. Thank you for sharing your story. There are a great many like us.
I had a similar story. Went to a Christian High School, tried my hardest to believe. Fasted through lunch sometimes to goto the chapel. Something I noticed about my personality, I never really get sucked into social emotional atmospheres, if that makes sense. I can't get into concerts at all, so its no surprise I couldn't get into the emotional aspects of worship at church.
Thanks for sharing snd brings up an interesting point. If god were real, making you with such a personality is at a loss for communion with him etc.
My son is similar. He struggled with depression so he just couldn’t “FEEL” church like the rest of us. This actually helped him to look at things more logically rather than depending on his feelings. (Those feelings are merely elevation emotion caused by brain chemistry rather than any supernatural witness of truth.)
As the youngest of a large family he was the first to deconvert. It took most of the rest of us many years to follow him. I have observed that the more of a “Feeler” a person is the more likely they are to stay in religion.
I was given a medication that blocked Dopamine and Serotonin. Immediately God disappeared. I felt nothing at church and realized how little it all made sense. I thought “why does God need Serotonin and Dopamine to communicate with me?”
It was the beginning of my own deconversion. If you take the feelings out of it there isn’t enough left.
Thank you so much for the way you're approaching this. I've struggled with belief and non-belief my whole life and my personal experience is that it's been hard to find someone like yourself who can approach these topics with a lot of knowledge, clarity, and humility, illuminated by your personal experience. At least for me, your upbringing and biblical literacy gives you a uniquely valuable position in the community that can't be dismissed as "an outsider who doesn't really get it." I mean, of course there are always those in the comments who will pull the "no true Scotsman" card on you not matter what, but for someone wrestling in the middle, your experience lends weight to your words that is worth as much as the soundness of your logic. I know this has been a difficult process, but you are helping people, so thank you for that.
Man this message is beyond kind and so very encouraging l. Thank you for your thoughts and positive feedback here!
Brilliant! Thank you for sharing your inspiring story!
Thanks for watching!
Welcome to the side of reason, there is always room for new people. 😁👍
Rewatching and commenting for algorithm. 😊
You’re the man, thank you Peter!
I appreciate your honesty, and I will continue to view what you are sharing with the world. I'm 66 and was forced to be a Catholic ☹️. I had my doubts due to conflicting scripture, and stopped attending at age 14 and have never regretted it. Many are not aware of your channel yet, I believe your channel will continue to grow as others find you and seek to recover from organized religion.