MY FINAL THOUGHS ON HE SAID SHE SAID
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 พ.ย. 2023
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PART 1 HE SAID th-cam.com/video/v3FDIRLgAFU/w-d-xo.html
PART 2 SHE SAID th-cam.com/video/v_PWAUVCcT0/w-d-xo.html
Tell that guy to google Borderline personality disorder. Tell him to google the symptoms. I think he will see his wife there.
It doesn't sound like they were having serious marital problems. I consider serious problems to be cheating, physical or emotional abuse. or drugs and alcohol. She misused some funds but that can be worked through. She's surprisingly honest about the things she did wrong. And she did care for him when he was sick. I think he should move out of the family land because that's never a good idea and try to work it out with her instead of partying with women in Thailand.
Mike, good conclusion. I viewed parts 1 & 2 before viewing this wrap-up video. Your conclusion says pretty much what I Commented in the first 2 videos, even including my advice to follow RR's "trust and verify."
I also recommended couples work together on their household budget. That alone instills the general feeling that both partners are dedicated to working together and not separately. Both men AND women need to feel they are in their relationship together as a team effort.
A simple comment of "Good job!" during reviews of the household budget will go a long way in promoting good feelings in the partner's feelings, which will be translated as "I love you and trust you to make good decisions for us."
As for Wm. and Wenggay, if they really did have a good friendship before, they might be able to save that friendship and even reunite to forge a stronger union, but that's all up to each of them. Psychological therapy may help.
When my husband and I got married,he was 31, I was 19. Ever since the start of our relationship, I made it clear to my family that my husband is not a milking cow. I came to canada 3 months after we got married. Two years after, our daughter came, and 2 years after that, we had a son. When both kids went to school, I went back to school and got a diploma. Worked for health care industry for 30 yrs. We are both retired now, and go back to the philippines 6 months each year…
Love your story
You guys are the dream couple ... well done
I applaud you standing up to family. I find this one of the hardest cultural differences. My wife pushes back on money requests but then she gifts money to the family. She has her own money I provide her monthly to do as she wishes and I sent money for her mother each month. For us my wife’s on again off again gifting creates problems for herself. I’m consistent I’ll fund mom and my wife but nothing beyond that. She creates her own family problem with the erratic gifting she does. My frustration is I know this creates the family begging of her. To Mikes point this means I have to keep tight control over my money.
Your story would be great reference for fellow Filipinas going down the same path.
Poor girls from the province become expensive. Stay away from the poor girls.
Mike, you're a legend ... these relationship drama videos, are absolute gold ... together with your calm and neutral demeanor when interviewing the respective parties
Thanks txtworld
I have to agree with the original poster... Your calm non judgemental approach is what makes these kinds of videos gold..... Great work Mike and look forward to more videos with this style of interviewing
Mike has a calm wisdom!
@@limtseho3540Yeah Mike is level headed. Both had their own video to state their point of view. Then Mike has another video to state his point of view. I agree money management was needed in this situation.
It’s why I viewed all 3
One thing I learned about Filipino women don't lend money you will never get it back do don't lend money you can't afford to loose
Yes good advice
Fair analysis! 🤓👍 Now you’re officially their marriage counselor! 😂😂😂
😁
Yep... this comment is the winner for today. It is golden.
Good info. When my Filipina and I got married . Many people said now your wife is CFO. I agreed. But I reminded them I am the CEO . My wife gives me a monthly excel report. As to land my name is on all legal documents yes she owns the land, but I own the houses. 25 year lease in my children's name mitigates the risk.
CEO / CFO sound like a great team
nice… CFO and CEO..thats how it should be
Mate, I only just came across your videos, your a true gentleman
Great advice and it's a must do for expats. Please pay attention to Mike, it's a must do for happiness and peace of mind . Well done Mike great video top class
Thank you for the nice comments
I don't blame her, I blame him, ignorance is no reason to get your money and house back. This story is a classic, it's amazing in this day of the worldwide web to keep making the same mistakes.
Wenn das Hirn zwischen die Beine rutscht .
I think if i look I can find this same story in many cities and towns
Well done Mike! That was an impressive intervention with a good balance of compassion and wisdom from which many of us will learn a great deal from. Trust all will move on and the children will be cherished. Youre a good man, Mike. Thank you.
thank you so much
Budgeting should be something you learn as an young adult , never spend more than you make, you don't need being and unnecessary things to live life
In the US but here you have more money than most have and they have no clue on how to budget it
Great work Mike, I too have had to learn some lessons late in life. The key is accept and own your mistakes and become a better person. Keep doing the good work helping other people. Thx
Absolutely!
Hi Mike and Janet. Great video once again. I find watching your presentations is a great tonic and pick me up as you have a lovely, calm and controlled narration which I really enjoy. What with the mess and hate around the world currently and more so recently, listening and watching yoir blogs is a real escape from the stresses of life. Such a refreshing change so please keep up and continue the great work you are doing doing. God bless you man. All the best to you both from NZ.
I moved to another region of the world nine years ago from the United States (2014). I quickly learned in an overwhelming number of cases it is the guy himself, who comes here, who is his own worst enemy. The lack of basic common sense and accountability surprises me since many of the guys did well in their lives back home. The biggest thing a new guy should do is find a “wing man” to guide him through the learning curve, at least the first few years, especially with women and money. Getting married later in life, in a country like the Philippines, does not appear to be a wise decision for about 90% of the men who do it. The fact that he built a home on land he can never own, is stupidity. What surprises me is he should have known it was a problem very early on and addressed it. That is on him.
I tried to help William at the request of a mutual friend. He moved to Chiang Mai where I was living at the time. When I moved back to Thailand he showed his true colors. No dirt here just be careful who you allow in your life. Never again. Keep on rocking, Mike and Janet!
just an interview not a friend...how you doing Buddy
Have to hand it to you Mike - that was pretty brave to get in the middle of a “he said she said” situation and try to speak for both and still maintain friendship. That takes a lot of tact- and a couple that are willing to be honest w what their faults. i’m glad you came out of it with some good objective conclusions you could share rather than a mess of angry drama. Whew- well handled. Good warning on managing money, trust and verifying.
thank you John
good insight, good advice.
good job, Mike.
Thanks 👍
Mike you got the answers of this red flag situation in this video. Thank as for being real about this. 😊
You are very welcome
excellent advice always verify
thank you sir
At 5:06 the most prevalent words of wisdom - "with children involved, just let the kids have the house ... lesson learned"
thank you again
In reality, he has no recourse. The simplest solution is often overlooked. Rent and leave money to your wife/gf and they can do whatever when you are gone.
other mans children, some drunk philipino.
Great advice We're done watching part 1 & part 2
thanks for watching...the book is closed on this story and we wish everyone a good life
@@mikesphilippineretirementMike, never say never ... if he hauls himself back to her province and they get back together, please make a "reconciliation" video, where you interview them both together ... for a tranquil happy ending
You are right, Mike, when you say that you should handle your own money, but I think you also have to involve her in the process. Otherwise you are in deep sh*t when you have to be hospitalised and she cannot access your money. And what if dementia kicks in and you are not capable of handling the money anymore? It's not always that easy to figure out how far the trust should stretch.
I agree with you. Work, teach, help, train, etc. her to become mature, smart, intelligent, etc. They both lost a wonderful opportunity. I wish them the best.
Good job mike.
What wonderful advice. Thank you.
your welcome
Good Job
It isn’t a marriage, it’s a transaction. If you keep such tight reign on the money, she won’t be around very long.
once she has money she may change
You know what Mike i know in my heart that you will insure Janet will be taking care of your a good husband. And you want her to always be taken care of after you depart this world. Proud of you and Janet great advice and you and Janet talk about everything before acting on something. Proud of you and Janet you make Expats stop and think
I hope so
Thanks mike...your a blessing🙏🙏🙏
You are very welcome
Oppsss....I just need to clear something...it's not a 1 million life insurance....of ever happens to him...I'll get 100k for life insurance...not a 1 million...
Great Reagan Quote Mike! I have used it many times.
Many men in America push all the money management off on the woman. I always have managed my own finances. Great video
@BULLARDtheOKIE thank you
Mike you said it perfectly how everything fell apart but stop short of telling them to reconcile or split permanently. Here’s my take. Better for William to move on and NOT reconcile. The glass was broken and putting some glue wont help and eventually water will leak. He left the wife and kids better than when he met them. Better for him not to pursue the house he built for them as it will cause him a lot of stress. Expect that if he reconciles, the boyfriend will still be around possibly milking the wife. Best for him to move on in Thailand and learn from his mistakes.
Thanks for sharing
Plus , she IS now an ADULTRESS!
Goodbye, so long, adios, he was tooooo good to her.
Also, very simp/blue pilled in many of his actions.
Of course he cares but, she was using him for resources.
Don't trust her, no need to verify.
Money was most likely going in one of her boyfriends pockets(assumption).
Good review and conclusion and yes, budgeting money can be a difficult problem for couples to work out. Anyone without experience at budgeting can face a steep learning curve to figuring that out and moving on with life.
If you do not know how to budget your money you will have a hard time here is your income is on the low end
Wow she was burning through that money it def overwhemed her,lesson learned.
lets hope everyone has learned
Thank you for all the points and counter points, I have two failed marriages the number one reason was money.
Willie & Wenggay, may both of you part happily ever after!
hmmm touching
Totally agree with you Mike...Thanks for the 3 videos.
Glad you like them!
Thanks Mike, great advice 😊
Any time!
i don't see very many expat videos with guys giving sound advice, but on this one IMO you did a good job. too many guys come over here lacking financial, physical and social health skills. similar problems usually exist for them back home are prone to follow them regardless of location they settle in. such is life
The best to do
Don’t get involve in the 1st place ….MATES
Thanks for good content. People show me what not to do.😊
Hi Mike. Interesting video. I get a kick out of the phrase " trust but verify". It"s an oxymoron. If someone feels like they need to verify, they aren"t fully trusting. of course, it is good policy to not trust completely almost everyone in one"s life. Thanks for the videos. I"m always watching. Take care.
thank you so much David
Great advice, Mike. I took some notes down and will take it to heart. I am making it to the Philippines mid 2024, hopefully for good. Thanks.
you are right mike i hope they can resolve their problems
Lets hope for the kids will be ok
Great advice Phil. Commen sense is not so common. I need to control the financial situation in my relationship .My wife doesn't have the skills , foresight to manage money. But I do love my wife , and teaching her as time passes .
teach her so in the future she can do it..Great job Danny
This is very sensible advice, I started asking for receipts for my own peace of mind. I don't expect to get much back whatever happens. House will likely end up sold or given to family in most cases. I live in the present enjoying my family and try not to let mistrust erode loving relationships.
I would never build a house on someone else's property. Like you said, lesson learned there. I've dated filipina's, married and divorced one. I said it a million times. Check the true colors of your woman by NOT throwing money at them. If they love you, for you then just the basics will be enough.
My biggest mistake and my continuing mistake I made over 20 years its giving too much money to my wife's family and to my step daughters because it's a bottomless money pit. If you are a soft touch like me, you will go broke real quick if your on a lump sum budget. You NEED a steady income and the ability to say NO!
@@petesrules1508 I have tried to put myself in the spotlight as a filipina and as a western woman find it very difficult. Western women are encouraged by her parents to continue their education. Many do and also work part time to help in that process. After graduating steps into a nice career that makes her independent and able to provide for herself. Along the way she meets her future husband and together they live the american dream. What happens along the way is and can be a successful marriage or one that ends in divorce. It takes two to accomplish either situation. Men and women have changed and they start out on the right foot but for some that left foot can prove to be detrimental and upset every aspect of what once was a good marriage.
Very informative,I love all your vidoes,I learned so much while watching different stories.keep up the good works Mike
Thanks, will do!
Dropping a tree on the old house is a strange thing to do.
May thinking also
i agree he is not the sharpest pencil in the box for sure
This, mike. You put some sense in the discussion. Hopefully, many will learn from this. Am a new sub. Good luck!
welcome to the channel thanks for the sub
Good analysis Mike. and good advice to them well said
Thank you
You are so right about the finance problem🎼🤘🏻
I kept laughing when he said he was going to get an engineer to condemn the place and have it torn down. He lived in the Philippines and has no idea how the country works. If they did that their would be no houses left.
hahaha true
Great points! NO life ins NO temptation to collect it prematurely! Jmho
Good advice Mike if you can't afford something don't borrow or .make payments
Yes i think so also
A fool and his money are easily parted.
Just let it go, and move on with your life.
hope he does the right things for himself and her kids
Just another warning,
Control and manage your money.
Anything you spend in the Philippines, will stay in the Philippines.
The system is designed to keep the money there.
Thanks for sharing
always let them know, when you die the money stops!!..make sure they understand your worth more alive then dead!...lol
hmmmm
Rocket, you have a firm grasp of the basic tenants of human nature
😂😂
These videos were a great idea. A lot of guys have to learn the hard way but a wise man once said; "It's always best if you can learn from the mistakes of others because you haven't got time to make them all.
They may not have the skills to manage money but they are being coached by the family on how to soak the foreigner.
if you say so
@mikesphilippineretirement you also said so @14:00😅😅😅😅😅😅
It’s nice they still like each other.
Thanks mike🌷❤️👍🙏
You are so welcome
I agree. I will buy My Filipina land and then get a lease on the land for 20 years. Then build a house.
Mike - I hope you remain safe. Partnering with women of this culture is very tricky and should be cautiously approached. Note: All farangs ARE not rich. Alot of people can be rich there based on the Cost of living. It's a myth. Farangs are NOT millionaires at all.
That's why someone that young can't be responsible with that much money both were at fault give and take
mike, be fair. there was a right and a wrong.he was right and she was wrong
Perfet VID
Willie is a bit of an idiot to destroy the house and take off to Thailand not the best move he couuld have made..seems he lacks any smarts to allow this whle thong vlow up the way it has. . Thanks for sharing Mike.
You're welcome
If a younger wife has never managed money, you owe it to her to teach her how to handle money after you have past away. Start her off slow. Gradually introduce her to the budget. As she proves herself to be dependable in one area, give her another, but as Mike said, verify, verify, verify.
Thanks for sharing
Good video my man have fun always
Thank you Ronnie
You have it figured out. Relationships like this happen everywhere in the world. Trying to live a champagne and caviar lifestyle, on a beer and pretzel income.
long time since i had a pretzel
Is he a resident? Nope she owns it all.
I agree hope she keeps it for her kids
Exactly. The house was built with the permit in her name, on land owned by her family ... with no lease or legal encumbrances upon the house, to any other party. So, it's her house ... plain and simple. Which is a good thing, as her kids are in need ... and it should be OK with William, given he claims to love the kids
About their house or property if they are married he has 40% rights of it, ask lawyers they will tell you the land she can own but the building he owns it..
not in this case. Family owns the land. He has no lease so he has no right to walk on the land. So how can he own anything.
@@mikesphilippineretirement its complicated plus no one will purchase a house in a lease contract not even in a lease its clear he built the house on his own will he built for his love to her.
Now the wife and her family can fight over the house. What goes around comes around.
IF I get married and I bring my pinay to the US we'll get her a savings account if she gets a job. I'll show her how to manage her cash. I had to do it with my first wife [RIP] so this won't be anything new for me.
The wife is the one who has legal standing over there, so if anything became clear to me it is to NOT move to the Philippines. The government there has no respect for expats. Zero, nada, ZIP!
Another good video, Mike. You are learning me a lot. [joke] Keep up the great work.
thank you Danno
And your Government at home does?
Yes it does @@jesusisking8502 even if a few low brow politicians here do not. With a little hard work anyone from anywhere can enjoy the freedoms guaranteed in the U.S. Constitution, the document all free societies base their own laws on. My pinay wife will have far more rights than any Expat in the Philippines.
Love you Big Guy!
Thanks
Hi Mike I have to agree with txtworld you are a legend. This is a sad story around mismanagement of money. This hole issue is fixable and I hope both of them come to there senses. There were mistakes made from both of them. There are kids involved don’t give up after 8 years.
thanks Tom
Give it up. She has already messed around on him. It is NOT going to work.
Shes an adulteress, irresponsible!
Give up!
Thats a miracle that this union lasted that long.
So right Mike. This senario is not, or should not be about mistrust. It should be about you the provider KNOWING where and how the monthly budget is being covered. The monthly budget NEEDS in it's entirety to be in the control and complete knowledge of the provider. I feel that's what budgeting on a limited income is all about. Yes, unfortunately, BIG mistake by yer man, but I hope all is not lost and they see and learn from the errors of their ways to continue the life together they both had clearly planned. GOOD LUCK to them both. Fine Set my friend.
When the Filipino can man up and protect their women by educating them, by protecting their reproduction capabilities, by giving their women good quality and reliable filipino men to choose from, then the women won't need to choose "older foreigners" to hunt. Simple.
good point
Great analogy Uncle Mike(lol). When you date someone young or inexperienced you become the teacher. That man was the cause of their problems when it came to finances. I'm 63yo, been married for 22yrs. I've dated younger women in the past and teaching played a huge part of the relationships.
I agree with you
As a 32 year old guys your age are our mentors lol
what about the conversation her daughter heard her mom talking about what to do to get the life insurance.VERY IMPORTANT
You hear a lot of stories about the Family destroying relationships by being Greedy. The constant request for money would get old fast I imagine.
is it greedy or men make it so easy for them to ask?
@@mikesphilippineretirement good question probably both
Key phrase, "trust but verify". Hubby had problems, he saw the red flags, but refused to recognize these flags. This guy needed to be wanted, and he learned his lesson, being on the losing end of the arrangement. Watching the interview, he saw the red flags, he spoke about them, but continued to ignore these signs. Her interview left a somewhat bitter taste in my mouth, she conned him and did it well. Great interviews, jwd.
Very good retrospect on that topic. A lot of lessons to be learned from that sad situation. The land lease is a good idea for sure if you are leasing from relatives or single. However I thought I heard you can not get land lease from a spouse/filipina who has majority share.
she does not own the land her family does
🙏❤️
That sounds like quite a soap opera! I hope they get everything worked out between them.
one never knows Gary" as the world turns"
Hello Mike, I would always pay the Bills Myself. I learned that Lesson when I was married to My American Wife. It took Me 10 years to dig Myself out of that Hole after My Divorce. Take care.
great advice pay your own bills
Good video I felt that the gentleman was a nice man but just not the Sharpest Tool in the shed and she took advantage of the marriage in a negative way. Always enjoy watching your videos 👍🇨🇦
Great point!
That's debatable, with the cruel threats William made to her ... about having her arrested for adultery, and having her new house demolished (after he'd already - quite literally - demolished her old house). The main thing, to his credit ... he was a good dad for the kids
That’s was a lot of money pilfered away every month. Either she was doing drugs, gambling, of paying for a boyfriend. What ever the case was she did not make William or the kids THE priorities. And pulling out death insurance on him in the Philippines means one thing. He had a bullseye on his back.
Women and money is like oil and water no matter where she's from😅😅😅😅 always rent including the filipina 😅
thanks for sharing
Mike: Is that the Browns in the background!!! My man!!
100 on point as usual and I see the Cleveland wisdom in you. All sound advice especially not letting them manage the money. As you said is always put something to the side. Only one can take care of you is you. Give them expenses plus a little extra.
Trust but verify is a motto for life... always.
Thursday night
Great point Mike, most people think the Phillipines is a cash society but the reality in the province its an 'utang economy'. This means that many of them, especially the poorer families borrow almost exclusively to subsist. The number one rule that the Filipina cant or wont accept is everyone she knows will ask the 'utamg' but none of them ever intend to pay her back. Why because they assume she is with a Foreigner therefore she has an endless piggie bank to draw from to meet her needs. I dont know if she were really struggling to survive if the family and friends would help out or not financially, never seen them get over the assumption that she is rich beyond measure in over 20 years and two different marriages with Filipinas.
good point
Hope this experience won't happen again where he is now.
we can only hope
Great video Mike!!! Folks, stop dating/marrying poor, uneducated, unemployed, single mother, young Filipinas. There literally MILLIONS of educated, mature and beautiful filipinas, with money management skills who would love to DATE YOU!!! take your time and you'll find her..... Cheers!!!!
Find the girl you can love and teach her the right way
Agree. Very well said.
Millions may be a Stretch 😁
Where do they hide ?
Really? Where are they?
@@mikesphilippineretirementMike, exactly ... your girl's honesty and character are the main things ... money skills can be taught. Your responsibility is to Man up, take charge, fulfil your duties as the head of the household ... and patiently teach her
Sometimes relationship damage goes above the threshold of salvaging.
Two wrongs will never equal a right 😢
Three wrongs when family is involved will make it impossible to repair.
I did disconnect for the city water department. How many times someone came out of the house and said I gave the money to my ____ to pay the bill 😮
very common problem someone is hiding things from the rest of the family
Great vlog Mike, I'm sure a lot of people learned from this, it's a sad outcome of what happened between them but then again all you've mentioned hit the mark, I won't mention them one by one. My bottom line would be, you have to have everything organized when it comes to finances, rock bottom if you don't you'll end up like this situation, seven long years down the drain. What shouldve, could've.
Well said
That's it, the seven years wasted. Those were years he should have been solidifying his relationship. Now he's older with no one to care for him. It's tragic on an epic level. A complete failure, and nightmare of every guy who gets into these type of marriages.
once they seperate his visa is no longer valid he has to go back to tourist visa
What if no one tells the BI
Mike, I appreciate your objectivity and maturity in telling this story. I think your advice is solid for most presenting issues there. However these issues are not exclusive to any country. These are the same issues in every culture and country. Most, at least in my experience do not know how to manage money no matter where they live. A good relationship is built on God, love and trust period. Without that foundation everything else shows up as distractions and the focus gets blurred. The real issues are disguised as being about money, etc and the foundational issue will never resolve. Anyway, this was a great presentation as you presented both sides with fair commentary. There seems to be a lot of drama happening there with many youtubers but it lacks the objectivity you have shown. I am not one for drama of any kind. I have seen too many folks allow their own egos to destroy them and everyone around them. Culture is culture, people are people and respect for this goes a long way. Thanks again Mike.
It's a sad story that can happen to any couple,
Regarding the house he should have got a lease maybe the reason he didn't was because he was prepared to walk away,
That's what he did do.
Your correct mike when you said he should have looked after his own money a lot better,
Thanks for sharing 👍
thanks for sharing
Mike good closing of the video. What's the saying no cares more about your finances more than you.
Thanks JudeK let hope most remember that
this is very pertinet info I just gave my fiance 100000 to pay some bills and look after me for a month if this does not work out I can afford to lose it once. My wife is eductated and good with my but i do worry about the peresure her family but on her.
That is something to worry about. Family persure can be very strong on a daughter to help the family
I would periodically start asking my Filipino wife’s family for money for my family in the US. They were surviving before she met her American husband.